Just My Thoughts

Poet born and raised in Detroit...always had a way with words with hopes to inspire and change the way of the world through the art of spoken and written word

[fearlesspen]

The Man Before You

I apologize for the man before you Because of him I never really gave you a chance but somehow I still blamed you I apologize, because of him I don't trust you Because of him I question everything you do Every word you say Every move you make Every night when I lay Down, I pray To take this pain, these insecurities, these trust issues away And because of how I continuously compared you two, I understand why you didn't stay Because of his infidelity and un appreciation, you suffer Because he put me down my brain doesn't understand why you choose to lift me higher Yes, I know it wasn't you, yes I know it wasn't your fault and everybody tells me its time to move on and get over it But as a woman I keep thinking how I gave him all of me and he split I apologize but it will take a bit Of time for me and I cant just drop it Please don't take it personal, because I don't want you to end up like me That I never want you to be I swear I don't mean to be this way its really not me I don't mean to, I really don't mean to, I need to break this cycle, I need time for recovery I apologize because of him you are only getting half of me I apologize for all of the arguing I apologize for all of the questioning I apologize every time you tried to pull me close and I just kept running I should have taken some time in between If I could turn back the hands of time When you asked me for my number I would have declined Because of the man before you, I apologize..... Randi R

[fearlesspen]

Niggas Be on that Bullshit

She keeps allowing you in knowing every result will be the same Trusted you, but niggas be on that bullshit Not MEN but niggas Yeah I said it Even calling you a boy would be to much credit You sit there thinkin you the man cause you got all these women in the palm of your hands As soon as she starts expressing her feelings to much, you drop her like, "Crazy Bitch" "Thirsty Bitch" But in reality u know she doesn't deserve none of that shit She put her faith in you That night you said, "I love you to." That lie slipped off your lips so quick Reckless Dropped your pants, gave her 20mins but you wouldn't dare stay for breakfast Niggas be on that bullshit If this was your mother or sister I bet the story would switch quick But you good as long as you get brain in the whip "All in her feelings" you viewing that as weakness She was everything to you at one point but u got what u wanted and dropped her quick Now u wonderin why she callin yo phone 5 times a day n'shit Ran over her heart but didn't stay to dry her tears n'shit Inconsistent shit No respect So focused on being the nigga thats "On" That instead of thinkin with your heart you think with your dick This may be harsh words for some, but its nothin short of the truth and you know it So before you condemn me remember, Niggas still be on that bullshit And I'm not the first to admit it I only hope that if they keep hearing it they'll change it Or at least accessorize them jays with some condemns and stay protected And ladies if you run into a nigga that's on that bullshit Tuck your heart deep in your pocket, turn in the opposite direction and run quick @randi_just_thoughts

[fearlesspen]

Walking day in and day out trying to mask the emotions....Because of my status at my place of employment I am expected to....like I dont experience pain to....Let me show one ounce of expression because of my skin color Im looked at as another black woman with an attitude...."shes mean, shes a bitch, she's bossy."..excuse me while I tuck my tears away for your comfort, Accept my apology?...But have u ever thought the issue has nothing to do with u?....that the problem's deep rooted to?....keep my thoughts to myself as I walk past u....captured in my own mind, u still think it has something to do with u?....u seem a bit selfish, excuse me if Im being rude.....But once again for u do u still want me to wear this ridiculous disguise?....of a woman untouched by life's journey....for u I will smile completely....for u I will act as if u know exactly how I feel today....is that okay?....Im sorry But I cant be the face of Your Corporate America....because I am an artist scarred....I am a woman pained....I am a walking expression of my voice, my words, my journey, my life!!!....my pen to this teared stained paper I am my work....I am my pain...I am living proof that my passion is present and my heart works....#TrappedArtist #Poet #WriteThroughThePain #JustMyThoughts

[fearlesspen]

Now we would all be a liars if We said we didnt use to be drug addicts...not your promethizine, heroin, weed....but love heartache....u know that sort of thing...we all know that when thd wrong dosage is prescribed love is just a gateway drug to other things....like depression...lost of self.....pain and jealousy....feeling worthless...slowly becoming addicted to beauty is only a reflection of your insecurities....u begin questioning "Why doesnt he want me? Why did he leave me?"....losin your sanity....tryin to prove to the world that you're the "Baddest Bitch" and everything....in front of him on your knees...u rather be the best at swallowin his kids.....than droppin down prayin for your next blessing....to good to swallow your pride to flip burgers at Burger King to earn money to chase a dream....only strivin to be what the hood made u out to be....What happened to bein treated like Queens? So addicted to perfection that u become fake now your body is made of plastic....no more of what mama gave u but man made....and this is perfect?....this is not a generation I envisioned.....I pictured being so high on ambition and the joy of chasing endless possibilities...not running after the acceptance of society that we settle for everything....they say the truth is hard to swallow....most of the time because the after taste is disgusting.....But I would rather u swallow that pill than become addicted to a world of fabricating.....As I prescribe this dosage of words my intent is only for healing....to heal the world and heal your minds with one side effect of u thinkin clearly....but if your outlook doesnt change and you're still settling....I suggest u read this 2 more times and once again in the morning #WordDoctor #Poet #JustMyThoughts #FullDoseOfTheTruth @nini_undefined_beauty

[fearlesspen]

How does something with such a high value diminish u?....So blinded by green, u lose touch of simple things...Walk around with a Louie bag thats empty....Dont know how to balance a check book but u spend plenty....Do whatever it takes...to get that "cake"....Dont know what makin love is cause he fucks u....Direct Deposits in u....couple months later when your stomach is gettin bigger....that same money he used to attract you, will be what he throws at u when u tell him when the baby is due....The same cash that "gave u so much life"....is now being used to take life out of u....u let chasing money change u....not drive u to grind for a goal or two....u let it silence u....money speaks for itself but who is speaking for u?....Oh, let me guess, the expensive clothes and shoes has a voice for u?....So when life has had its way with u...chewed u up, spit u out...who will pick u back up??....cause the last time I checked money wont hold, laugh and listen to u....it doesnt love, speak and pray with u....it wont be there to back u up....Well maybe yours will but thats just not the way my bank account is set up........#Poet #LoveAndMoney #SelfWorth #Value #JustMyThoughts #Writer

[fearlesspen]

Have u ever felt a Love this strong?? #bookcoming #poet #artist #PowerOfLove #WouldUBelieve #JustMyThoughts

[fearlesspen]

What You Think You Need

He seems to be your “Type” He fits all the characteristics of what you think you need, scratch him off the list if he’s lacking So focused in looking for love, looking for a lover you see the perfect man, you think But everything you want is not always everything you need He has the physical appearance but what does his mind do for you? He’s here today, gone tomorrow because his temporary pleasures aren’t good enough for you Your happiness is long overdue What turns you on about him? His Intellect? Or the way he handles you in the bedroom, trapped in his sex You think you want what he brings Let him undress the layers of your mind before he kisses your spine Everything you want is not always what you need It seems to be good for the moment But a moment is just that, A moment Its gone and what are you left with Left over pain from what you thought was right for you, you thought you needed a bad boy, excitement, his attention, his security, his touch, his kiss, his smile, his words, his sex But everything you want is not always everything you need

Randi R.

[fearlesspen]

Ladies Man or a Lady's Man

So you walk around cocky cause your phone is full of numbers from women willing to do anything When did it become acceptable to have hoes instead of one queen? Are u setting the tone for your daughters and sons? What imagery are you depicting in their minds? Both confused because daddy doesn't know the difference between a Ladies Man and a Lady's Man You play the tough roll cause You're to gangsta to hold your daughter's hand Don't wanna be seen as soft, lacking the love from daddy she begins to chase after men for affection Because she saw mommy being abused verbally and physically She tells herself thats the way its suppose to be Sitting in her room she hears everything Thinkin "Daddy does it to mommy so its only right I let a man do it to me" While you walk around looking for bad bitches, in tight clothes, half naked poppin Molly Your daughter is your shadow and you're leading her down a path of destruction Mommy tried to teach her how to be a lady But daddy never taught her the difference between a Ladies Man and a Lady's Man So she settles for being his "Main" instead of his Only She thinks its okay that he has others cause she tells herself "He's coming home to me" Somewhere inside she knows its wrong, but he gives her the love she was lacking from daddy But its the type of love her young mind cant handle He cashed her out, shows her off, but nobody knows about the late night bleeding The bruises under that Versace dress and the Black eyes behind those Ray Bans tears pouring As she stares in the mirror putting alcohol on those cuts, she says to herself, "But I know he loves me" He puts her down but loves her body She lets him do whatever he wants cause nothing is wrong here Right Daddy? Its okay for her to settle for being his baby momma Its okay for him to use her body in ways she never thought of Its okay to smack her around, as long as he provides for her to keep her tightly bound This is the way love is suppose to be, Right daddy? Its okay that he never knew her mind Its okay that he calls her a Bitch, because she's being wined and dined Its okay that he has side chicks Its okay that she lets him leave and come back for sex whenever he feels like it Its okay that she never gets married, because daddy never married mommy Its okay because this man that "Loves her" is a reflection of you Are you showing your daughter the difference between a Ladies Man and a Lady's Man.....

[fearlesspen]

Beware

She's scared of the truth more then a lie She's been hurt so many times that she's afraid to be happy Thinkin there has to be a catch behind every complement received He doesn't mean it does he? Cause she's been through the bullshit The "I miss u" texts that had her blushin The lust confused as love n'shit She thought he meant it, so she dropped her clothes quick He leaves her layin there with goosebumps as he slips on his Levis, Timbs and Fitted Taking a piece of her heart that she'll never get back Now the next man has to pay for everything she lacks But she doesn't accept his romantic gestures Thinkin there has to be some sort of pain behind all his pleasures So use to losing, winning is never on her agenda anymore She begins to settle for less rather than strive for more Cause songs tell her all she needs is Love and Affection Never noticing the man who actually gives her the Right attention She wants the wrong man cause her Mr. Right left back then He took Everything..... Piecing her life back together she fears Beauty Never allowing herself to smile freely without questioning everything A never ending cycle of contemplating Holding on to what once was Regrets..... She grew cold Beware the woman with the Broken Heart

[fearlesspen]

Society Tells Me

Who am I to Judge? Ive had my share of set backs like any other But that doesn't stop you from judging me You may not do it verbally, But mentally Those Judgmental thoughts, those judgmental stares when you see who's beside me If its the guy with nothing They say Why do you provide everything? If its the guy who has it all, In Society's eyes Im a gold digger for chasin his paper So Im drownin in a pool of shallow thoughts caught in the deep end We're so quick to fight judgment, But in reality we're livin for opinion So caught up in the materialistic cause thats the definition of winnin Question Whats really more important? He may not drive a shiny new 2013 or be able to afford a $50 steak But we may take a bike ride to the nearest park or hold hands as we look out on the lake Whats more important? As he set your temporary goals to get those matchin Jordans, that Michael Kors purse, or that ring you show off to your friends Brain washed by what TV makes a reality, you wanna be the wife of Kobe Am I wrong to wait as we struggle together to build a empire Set aside a couple dollars for that long term goal of that basic 3 bedroom house for our kids to grow, as we sip lemonade on the front porch when we retire? Whats more important? As you chase the man with the stacks in his hand, or the other because he appears to be the one who is fit for you according to society He works a 9-5 and makes enough to provide and spoil you with everything you want and need But when it comes down to it as Woman we really love simplicity He knows he can silence you materialistically Buy you a Hallmark card, of somebody else's words, a diamond bracelet, a fancy date, But cant even tell you what's your favorite thing to eat But Society tells me Im wrong if I want the man that has no plan to be in corporate America, because he has dreams beyond money value you see Society tells me as a woman Im wrong because as a man he is suppose to be the provider, isnt he? Society tells me Im wrong to want the man that cant buy me everything, so he hand writes a card with a poem for me, He cant fly me across the word and take trips to islands But he can tell you what outfit I had on the day we met, how I pose in a picture,how my eyes close when I smile, the hand gestures and movements I do when Im rappin Jay Z The details..... They say "As long as you're happy it doesnt matter what other people think" Thats all well and good but that doesnt stop the Nay Sayers filling up their mental capacity of all the negative imagery of what they THINK I need A woman's perspective.......

[fearlesspen]

Unknown

For a second words crashed down so hard She was afraid to lose you Everything she told you to promise her, she ended up committing the crimes herself The hurt, The guilt, the pain she travels around with So much baggage to get rid of But it continues to go around and around until its staring her in the face again She has no choice but to claim it Is there anybody who will help her carry it? Got her scares right here Heal them, what will it take She wants to love you, She really does She keeps referring back to what once was She wants to live Let it go, just please Let it go Contemplate Gotta LET IT GO!!

[fearlesspen]

A Simple Ballad

The sound of music speaks to my heart A soft spoken lyric followed by a series of notes creates a melody all to familiar Compared to a love song its all to similar A simple combination of Beats Heart Beats, has my blood flowing Rushing Listening To this string quartet Run your hands across the strings of my Harp Be my Conductor Direct my Orchestra Blow on the woodwind and hit hard like my percussion Fill the air with tones I love you today, But tomorrow Im wrong Pour it all out in this microphone Me and The Blues have become acquainted Just to be sure about something, anything Is my goal....Isn't it? I fell for the sound of that Cali Hip Hop flow Thinking of all the things that could go wrong But right now I feel as if I dont want it to stop Then my ears ring from the simple cadence of this rhythmic flow Noticing its nothing but you and I dont want you to go Falling victim to this sensitivity Rhythm and Blues, something feels altered A change of course Seems so enjoyable with no force Like Im in a whirl wind A happy place Invaded my space But I like it........

[fearlesspen]

Cut Her Open

She never realized how Love had been staring her in the face for so long She never paid attention to what was right in front of her But the things that are so far beyond reach, she will go through hell and back to obtain Just convincing herself that its the same From the beginning you held her hand, you wiped her tears, you held her close and said nothing through it all Many times she would show up on your doorstep Day and Night and you never let her fall Open arms and a open heart provided Her feelings you guided Through the storm Feelings were born Her heart was in your hands You didnt even know it Maybe she took to long Guess its her fault for not believing you could love her Just to much emotion to wear on her sleeve But the one she needed was right there Aruba Coconut scent feels the air One kiss..... Can she take it back? She's confused Just didnt wanna be another link in your chain Walk around as if nothing happened, As if she feels nothing She's so use to this Always having to run and hide Cover her heart up, bury it as if the feelings are dead But they Live Touch her heart, it beats for you But what is she to do?? She cant stop these feelings from flowing, yet she cant let you know Cut her open She's bleeding Love Stop the pain, Somebody stop it Her heart is heavy It hurts She's in love with you

[fearlesspen]

Changing Face

Love brings change Change of feelings, the world around you could either be bright or dark Worlds apart It's always a determining factor To love more, less or not at all I can be whatever you want me to be without changing myself Me and you and nobody else The feelings I have right now are taking over my mental and physical I can be warm or cold Right now Im not sure what I want to be The yes the no, the ups and downs, all around Changing Face Give me my space But some how Im feeling that's not the case Emotions are action based I still want you around Dont Go....

[fearlesspen]

What Exactly is it??

What exactly is the feeling.... Most people call it loneliness The feeling of not really knowing Sit in a room wondering Wrap my mind around the books Im reading Pouring out these words Im writing What exactly is the feeling.... Nobody can really pin point the emotion The stir of commotion Trying to bottle the feelings into the right proportions Tucking it away preventing heart corruption Im not eager to laugh much anymore, whats funny? But why laugh when its not shared with others Nothin but a black exchange Words slip through the fingers like running water Sort of like when the heart is broken in a million pieces Which do you dive for to catch? All of them so significantly valuable to repair you as a whole Trying to figure out what it was that broke the mold What exactly is the feeling....

[fearlesspen]

Not like One Another

You ever wondered why you felt so different? In a world unknown Never feeling in-tune with everybody else Only understanding yourself Not really realizing that you're trying so hard not to fit in that you eventually fit in somewhere Trying so hard not to care Yet the feelings are there We would rather have a hard exterior Nobody knows my exact thoughts at the exact moment They wish they did, just because they were there to witness it But just because you were there doesn't mean you understand Never compare yourself, not your struggle with mine we weren't dealt the same hand We may have similar situations But the way I am, you will never be You will never think like me, laugh, cry, show anger like me Scribble these words, put these phrases and sentences together Or emphasize these words like me Im not afraid to fall, fail But I am afraid to love All because of what once was Judge me all you want Call me soft, emotional, angry Whatever your choose But My Words are Fearless They give me strength in the only world where my power is unknown A world where I could careless what u think I am a open book, have always been Not afraid to show it Pick a chapter, any one you want Learn something about this person behind this Pen

[fearlesspen]

Artist Mind

The Soul and Passion of an artist calls to me

Speaks to my inner core like none other

Maybe because that is me

I see myself in them

The struggle, the Hunger, the Dedication just to be known

Name in lights to be shown to the entire world

But not me

The fame I can bypass

But the legacy I will take

No bigger than that I want to remain ME

I am the Writer, the singer, the poet, the painter, the sculpter

I am these people that no one understands

Nobody sees OUR vision until its explained

To understand WE you must

take a glimpse into my ARTIST MIND.....