#extradirty
shark vs the universe
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@fears-destroy-dreams
Fuck I hate being so nice to people. I think I'm starting to realize that people are starting to use me and my car and I'm way too nice to say no but in my head I'm like get fucked I can't do this. But then guess what....I still fucking do it. What is wrong with me omg. I am way too nice. Someone teach me the way of the word no!
This always fucking happens. I have an amazing day/night and I come home and something fucking ruins it. I apparently said something while drunk and now I'm in the bloody dog box. I say dumb shit and people take it wrong. Fuck this life. Only one thing is keeping me sane rn.
after sleeping next to someone you like, despite only knowing them a short time, sleeping is really hard now.Ā
i just want her to be there yāknow. damn, i actually like someone and enjoyed sleeping next to her. that ones a first. shit. this is so foreign to me
I fucking swear no one listens to me. I mention information weeks ago yet I still get told today the same exact information. Ugh this just gets old. It's been happening for years I should be used to it by now right?
This is very important if youāre ever in a situation similar this pretend that youāre dead donāt scream and @#!*%
my dad told us this if someone shoots up our school
SUPER IMPORTANT
BEST TIP
PLEASE REMEMBER THIS
not even a joke we learned this in Police Explorers and put it on your clothing as well but go quickly because you donāt know where the person is.
This is what school children in America are taught. That is so wrong on so many fucking levels and there are still people who believe gun control in any form is a bad thing.
let me reiterate SCHOOL CHILDREN IN A SUPPOSEDLY FIRST WORLD COUNTRY ARE TAUGHT THE SAME THINGS AS PEOPLE IN ACTIVE WAR ZONES BECAUSE THE THREAT OF BEING KILLED IN A SHOOTING IS SO HIGH.
the bit in caps here is making me rethink my stance on gun controlĀ
shit
Iām reblogging this because as my follower count goes up, the odds of this saving a life do too.
My elementary school had drills telling us what to do in such an emergency. This is exactly what they told us. AND NOW FOR A FACT: IN CALIFORNIA YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REGISTER A SHOTGUN!
I live in America, and I was only taught to hide and be quiet. I had to learn this on Tumblr. If one more person says that technology is ruining children, they best shut the hell up because this could be saving lives
We had more lockdown drills at school than we did fire drillsā¦
Human decency has dissolved hasn't it. Manners are fucking everything and just being plain nice.
You know what. Fuck this. After an absolutely awful week, I had to take a night off work because I literally couldnāt even do the dishes properly. I had a great day in between with good words and support from some great friends but now Iām slammed into oblivion by depression and fucking loneliness, with no one even caring if Iām feeling better. Fucking Everyone around me seems so damn happy and here I am at 4am feeling like crap. Fuck this life. Someone else can have it. I donāt want it.
I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. I see friends getting new friends and starting to leave me behind, I really should be used to this by now but in just lying here listening to two people having a great conversation in the next room. Giggling and having fun and I'm watching wreck it Ralph with my cat. And I feel like I'm about to cry. It'd be the second time since I moved down here. I don't like to say it but I really fucking hate myself right now.
I have so much shit to say tonight about drugs and driving and plans and friends and loneliness and so much fucking topics. But no words on any of these are coming out right now. It's all just gonna stay in my head I guess. So many thoughts flying. Fuck.
This might sound a bit selfish but I just really want a friend who listens to what I have to say. And when I ask them to do something they actually will do it and not go back on their word. It's fucking infuriating dealing with this fucking neglect. And the anger that gets shown makes me so damn nervous. My entire childhood had anger wound into it and I cannot deal with it. It scares me when someone gets angry. It's not fun living in this environment I may as well fucking go home.
My cat is being super cuddly tonight.
Maybe she knows somethings up with her mumma. Maybe she shows how to stop this spiral down. Lack of sleep definitely has a part in it. I just seem to be going through rolling hills of mental Heath phases. I see something and I crave attention and feel like I should feel shitter than I do. Which seems really....I don't know the exact word I'm looking for. Fuckety fucking fuck. That works.
My cat is making adorable sleepy noises. oh no I woke her up. Shit. Can't even leave her to sleep š£
I can't even focus on my thoughts right now. My mind is fuzzy.... and just started hurting. Fuck.
I'm just gonna lay quietly and reevaluate my thinks....
To be continued.....maybe
i feel like i need to scream my lungs out. but i dont know why i want to do this. i think i have stresses building up, but im not stressed, or i dont think i am i dont even know. i do know that im tired all the time and im so fucking irritable towards almost everything. havent been hungry. my insides feel unsettled. and i feel breathless whenever i do anything.Ā
i like the idea of that post on here where they say if only you could pause life for a couple of days or weeks. i just need rest. lots and fucking lots of it. at least over the next two work weeks i get easter sunday off and a moday and tuesday i start much earlier so i finish when i usually start. im just not gonna do much next week. ill try rest myself.Ā
You know you deserve someone better when the one youāve always fought for is also the one youāve always cried for.
- Unknown (via thelovenotebook)
Am I significant or just convenient?
six word story //Ā havaita (via mad-madam-m)
At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.
theres a girl who comes into work who looks like you. she comes in once a week. it makes it hard to get over you but what the hell can i do i work at a supermarket so i cant exactly avoid being there. and i know shes not you so i should just get over it right? yeah thats exactly right i have to. so why is it so fucking hard. two years later and im still affected by you. well fuck
fuck fuck fuck
i have lost all self help direction. i dont know what will stop me from thinking myself sick. i honestly feel like im going to throw up from nothing more than thoughts racing through my mind. the problem is i know that cutting will help because thats the only pain that lasts a while. all other physical pain stops too quickly.
i want to scream at the top of my lungs till my voice stops working, i want to cut so deep that i stop feeling, i want to stop thinking, i just need it to fucking stop. i cant do this dealing with other peoples shit on top of my own. i feel my mind and body giving up...
