It's alright now. I made a vague vent post about something I found in the tag talking about depression (and her overall attitude towards the topic) and I stated that those type of posts shouldn't really be in the tag (when you have a personal problem with another person in a fandom). I just mentioned that and that it made me feel very unnerved. I don't go to the tag to see these type of posts but to keep up content.
The person decided it was a good idea to send me a message after assuming it was about her to try to excuse herself. She knew I wasn't going to agree with it, that I was uncomfortable with discussing it further and that I had no intention to bother my followers with that type of discussion.
I figured if I didn't say anything, it would look like I just avoid giving her a response which anyone can twist that into something it's not. Last thing I need are more needless rumors.
I briefly mentioned I'm not about to respond to that message on the blog and most of my second post was offering support to people that are having similar struggles or face toxic stereotypes. I asked that nobody sends me more messages regarding the topic since I was made very uncomfortable/unsafe in the first place. She decided to ignore that, reblog my post and got into a fairly aggressive rant that I was trying to be "passive-aggressive" and gave a "shitty indirect response" to her, then went off that I don't know the story, that I'll have to learn 'the hard way' etc. etc. despite the fact I made no mention of the actions the person she has an issue with and only made comments regarding public defamation (and a few of this chick's supporters took it as an opportunity to just put the other girl down as she already puts down herself)
It got to the point I was clearing up a few final things, as she requested a 'direct' response. I mentioned that she needs to practice what she preaches. If she is against another person harassing her, why would it be okay to start harassing me? She didn't understand the meaning of "Stop, this is clearly making me very uncomfortable and my posts are not to spite you but to vent for myself and others."Â
I also mentioned that the fact she still responds to that girl is making the situation worse for both of them since she usually just agrees to the other girl's self-loathing spam asks. The most you can do is report someone and block them. Contact the staff about issues with block system, don't try to shame someone and address the fandom. That only gets people to see one side and form negative perceptions based just on that. It can also invite others to send harmful messages to her.
Whether she fails to believe it or not, people dealing with any conditions are frequently mistreated simply because of the way they are. The stereotype that these people are 'bad, weak, selfish' is very real and it can affect their personal life more than most are aware of. When the stereotype is already in place, some others take advantage of this as a reason to feel less guilt about mistreating them if these people cause any inconvenience to them. Some assert they're getting the crap end of the deal just by dealing with those with mental illness over the actual suffering those people may go through. It's gross.
I ended with asserting my support for others with similar struggles doesn't prove support for her former friend's harassment. She kept trying to say that. 90% of what I mentioned was venting about how I felt and realizing there are others with similar struggles so I try to offer support. Just because I had empathy for her former friend's position, being defamed to the public, struggling to keep friends, others finding you annoying, self-doubt etc., it said nothing about my alleged 'support' for her harassment later on.Â
Apparently, on tumblr .. I can't point out if this person is making mistakes as well that negatively impacted me. I ended with a bold "Do NOT message me about this anymore. You proved to completely ignore my request for you to stop last time and I'm asking again or else I will be forced to block you." because I mentioned that their problematic remarks, aggressive attempts to reel me into drama and complete dismissal of my request to not be contacted was making me feel very uncomfortable/unsafe overall.
She decided to make another response, and that's when it got to major misrepresentations. Because I didn't mention my opinions on the other person's actions, it meant I support them hurting others. Worst of all, because I stated that those with mental illness do emotionally react to things differently than those without illness, I was apparently just 'excusing' her, saying 'she's just like that' and somehow twisted this nonsense to the point she claimed I was being ableist..
Yeah, makes so much sense. The reason I speak out against others wrongfully dealing with those with depression/anxiety/asperger's (the person she mentioned) etc. by treating it the same exact way they would with anybody else regardless of health-- the reason I speak out against others asserting they're fully to blame for how they feel and their failures in friendship-- the reason I speak out against problematic stereotypes that impacts and obstructs anyone is because I'm abelist scum. Internalized ableism is my lifestyle, right.
To me, ableism is discrimination towards those differently abled. Yes, I slip up in how I talk about it since I'm not the most PC person and I'm not the smartest when it comes to correct terms, but one thing I do not tolerate is ableism. The perpetuated stereotypes and/or mistreatment of anyone with similar struggles, the backwards idea of people making themselves a 'victim' to have the displeasure of dealing with anyone that has these issues (most implying they're not worthy of friendship until they're 'happy'), when people make them out to be 'monsters' after anything bad happens all while ignoring how severe their condition could be at that point or ignoring how their actions may have impacted them, claiming it's right to treat the emotional issues the same way as anyone else and failing to do so would be to excuse their irresponsible behavior, completely avoiding the fact that they could have triggered something in someone etc. Those are examples.
Anxiety seems to be common in my family, and I have dealt with it for the longest time. I personally have been both depressed and suicidal for years now, and one of my uncles suffers a mild case of schizophrenia (might be worse now) while another one of my uncles had brain damage at birth. My self-esteem was worse when I was in school and I took special education classes. People insulted me/mocked me for it since it took me longer to finish my work. I mean, I had good marks, but I was just slower at finishing tasks/work. The last thing I try to do is be insensitive towards any of these topics.
She also made it apparent she didn't care how her post affected me because so long as she felt she was doing the fandom 'good', she holds no responsibility for negatively affecting others or triggering them. But yeah, she just made outrageous claims. Strawman bs. I wasn't about that any longer, nor did I want her to successfully reel me into her drama by claiming bs about me (as the mod) on her blog. I just shut her down with my last remarks and blocked her. I might delete the posts later. It was not a good experience. I guess two times wasn't enough to ask her to stop, but I wasn't about to try for a third.
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