i don't belong here

Whenever I feel huge, I just stop being fat and start being awesome instead :D SW: 171.0 CW: 149.0 GW1: 160 reward: LEGWARMERS (complete) GW2: 150 reward: ??? (complete) GW3: 140 reward: ear piercings GW4: 130 reward:belly button peircing UGL: 120 reward: clothes that fit :) Height: 5' 4.5" Check out my personal: colaptesauratus.tumblr.com

[featherlightworld]

+40 lbs later

I’m baaaccckkk.

Hello unhealthy calorie obsession. I’ve missed you so.

[featherlightworld]

WHAT IS THIS? NANCY BOTWIN LIKES THE DICK, GODDAMN IT.

specifically, Andy's dick.

[featherlightworld]

So I'm pretty done with this blog.

you can check me out at balanceisaverb.tumblr.com , but heads up, it's a lot less food, restricting oriented, no thinspo, so... buyer beware.

[featherlightworld]

Hey guys

So over the past couple days slash week or so, the tone of this tumblr has really changed I think. I feel like it's gonna start to be a lot more yoga/healthy food/ spiritual journey (can atheists have spiritual journeys?) oriented, and a lot less thinspo-y.

I'm trying to figure out if I should get a whole new blog, or keep going with this one and change the name or something. I'll probably do the later because I'm lazy as all hell.

But.

If anyone cares (probably no one) let me know.

[featherlightworld]

Day 95 part II

SOOO. I think today is a success, even though it had it's minor failures. I went to mom's yoga class, and, although it's different than what I'm used to, I still enjoyed myself and learned some stuff. 

I also went grocery shopping after. SO MUCH PRODUCE. SO EXCITED. I avoided everything that was processed or unhealthy or sugary, except for a mock duck rice noodle salad I got for lunch at work tomorrow (and that doesn't even sound that bad, does it?) and a vegan blueberry muffin. Which I ate. So I went over my caloric allowance again.

But. It was good bonding time with my mom (I got her to eat vegan too!) and I NEVER get vegan baked goods because I'm too lazy to make them myself, AND when I got home I weighed 155.6 (movement, people, movement! I knew this was going to work) so I don't feel guilty.

I hope it sticks for the morning? So excited for steel cut oats breakfast/noodle salad lunch/fresh produce salad dinner tomorrow! and the gym! and maybe yoga? am I ready for c2? I DONT KNOW, MAN.

[thecountdowntoperfect]

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[featherlightworld]

Day 95

HI!

I practically just woke up. Weighed in at 156.4 again. I don't care. I have confidence I'm doing things right this time. Had a bowl of raspberry ginger cereal with soy milk for breakfast, and am currently pressing the tofu that I'm eating for lunch and dinner. Making tofu and black beans, and I'm super excited.

I moved my fast to Monday just because I don't know how hard two yoga classes are gonna be. My first is gonna be my normal intro class and my local studio, which is more of a Vinyasa flow, and then mom's taking me to hers, which seems... more like Iyengar, although I don't know how much emphasis there actually is on alignment. Either way, I'm excited.

I'll keep you posted!

[featherlightworld]

Day 96

Well, so far this morning, I weighed in at 156.4. Which is totally okay. Really, I'm fine with that.

Now I'm lounging around before work, waiting to pack myself a lovely lunch of an apple, peanut butter, almonds, and raisins. And going home for dinner, making the rents portabello mushroom burgers. And then going to the gym with my mom!

...I don't know if I should fast tomorrow because I'm going to yoga twice. Maybe I'll wait until after my first class and see how I feel.

Updates to come!

EDITZ///

So, I went over, but it wasn't binge-y, it was all healthful things like olives and tomatoes and rice crackers and cherries.... and maybe and ice cream cone with my daddy.

But. I think I'm becoming much more concerned with WHAT I eat rather than how much I eat of it. I'm gonna try to stick to around 1200 calories still, but more importantly, no more processed foods. I want whole foods, produce, nuts, grains, all that good stuff. Nothing with more than five ingredients, nothing with ingredients a three year old couldn't pronounce.

I want my body to be fueled with goodness.

Oh, and my mom was too pissy to go to the gym, but I did some yoga when i got home, and that felt wonderful. except i think i forgot somethings or overextended my back or did some inversions and spinal twists in the wrong order because my lower back feels funny? One thing I learned is that the best way to fix pains that came from yoga is with more yoga! so hopefully tomorrow will be better :)

[featherlightworld]

Day 97.

Today has been glorious so far. I will update again after dinner, but this is what happened.

I got up at 9:49, stretched, did some crunches, and weighed in. 156.4. which is actually less that what I weighed yesterday, despite my ugly binge. So yay, I guess.

Then I ate some whole grain oatmeal with raisins and walnuts for breakfast. Ans then I sat around for five hours waiting for yoga because I'm bad at occupying myself.

Then, about an hour before yoga, I made some brown rice and frozen veggies with buttery spread and a little bit of salt and pepper, and it was delicious. I think I'm really going to enjoy this fresh whole unprocessed foods thing.

I went to yoga in the afternoon. It was only my third class, and I had a new instructor yet again, but it was okay because I really liked him! He was more into the philosophical side of the practice, always throwing in cute tidbits like "remember, balance is a verb. balance is motion." and stuff like that, and he was very hands on. He helped my alignment a lot.  I set my intention for today as to try harder, because I felt like I put a little less into it last class, and if I can judge by my tiredness towards the stretching poses and the sheer amount of sweat dripping off my face, I succeeded! Also, added bonus, I didn't feel fat at all during my practice, I looked in the mirror and loved what I saw.

The only negative is that I wasn't quite as focused during this class. There were a few people I knew there, and I caught the "comparing" bug. But I'll work harder on focusing on only my movement and breath next class.

After I got home, I was pretty exhausted, but I feel so lose and good and like i could melt into my bed. I got a minute of hungry, so I had a handful of almonds. Now, I'm chilling in bed, waiting for 6:30 to roll around so I can eat the rest of my rice and veggies.

I think today will be perfect. It better be. I'll let you know :)

EDIT//// I had dinner. Added a little buttery spread so I'm probs like 30 calories over 1200, but it doesn't matter because I. FEEL. INFINITE. Now I'm gonna relax in my room with my kitchen spice candle until bedtime. maybe read a thing or two. drink lots of water.

[karmablazeit]

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