Fee is not in fact a bee

I'm Fee, I go by (pronoun sets in order of preference) xe/xir, he/they and he/she

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

So who even is this person? (aka, a bit of a wordy introduction)

I've made a straw page that has the introductions for my individual minds, feel free to check it out:

Hi, I go by Fee or Ray online (not my real name for safety reasons). Feel free to come up with nicknames for me if you have any cool ideas.

I want to preface this blog by saying that I have C-PTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder). I am currently in parts therapy so will often use posts to sort of "journal" with my parts as a way to help with therapy. I identify as a polymind, which is an identity I have come to realise fits my experience since going through parts therapy (but it was something that fit pre parts therapy as well).

I am also physically disabled, have a neurological disability and am multiply neurodivergent. Feel free to ask me about this, I'm more than happy to answer any questions.

I will block: pedophiles (Especially. I have had bad experiences and don't want to be anywhere near pedos, even if they're getting help for it.); people who seem to believe that being polymind means I'm "larping" having OSDD or DID. I am not a system in any way, shape or form, that is not what being a polymind is.; genocide supporters and general bigots.

I won't block: people due to their religious beliefs, minors (But please be aware that I am an adult, and I do not DM minors due to safeguarding reasons. If you are a minor and DM me without a visible age on your profile, I will end the DM if I have any reason to believe you are under 18.), people with different opinions to me if you are able to be respectful of my differing opinions.

I don’t really have a DNI, just be respectful and not a creep!

To those of you who believe that being a polymind is fake, then you're simply denying the existance that my therapist and I have been discussing for about five years. You are not my therapist, you do not know me personally, and you are not qualified to talk over me regarding my own mental health and identity (and yes, I will block you if you come at me for this instead of listening and being respectful despite any differences in beliefs). I do not claim to be a system in any way, and do not want to be involved in syscourse because I am not a system, so please don't drag me into any.

Polymindence for me is a way of working through my trauma and an extension of parts work (which is similar to but not the same as IFS therapy). I AM NOT a qualified therapist and only speak for my own experiences with parts therapy and my identity as a polymind.

On a lighter note- I hope we can get along and become friends! I know this is quite a long post so congrats if you made it to the end.

Edit: I am also NOT radqueer or a traumagenic or endogenic system, please do not treat me as such.

[theetherealpride]

Y r u anti radqueer & anti radnormal

You ask this like they're antonyms, like you have to be one or the other.

I am radqueer critical because I believe that the radqueer community perpetuates harm. Not every radqueer does, but there are still many who are or defend predators and abusers.

I am radnormal critical because I believe that the radnormal community ALSO perpetuates harm. Not every radnornal does, but there are still many that will organize hate campaigns against potential children, grooming victims, or those who just haven't ever actually done anything wrong.

[polymindersserver]

Hey polyminders !!!

You are all valid <3

You are valid even if you are hazy most of the time.

You are valid even if you dont have that many minds.

You are valid even if you have a bunch of minds.

You are valid even if you mostly have fictling minds.

You are valid even if you are questioning being a system/having a cdd instead.

You are valid even if you are questioning being generally plural instead.

YOU are valid.

Even if you arent sure you are a polymind or not, even if you change your mind, we will always accept you in our community. Even if you find out you arent a polymind. All we ask is for kindness and acceptance in return.

If you are pro-polymind or, polyminded of course... please join our server !!!

Even if you wanna just learn about it, just be respectful!

Check out the ❖ - Polyminders - 〇 community on Discord - hang out with 63 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.

[theetherealpride]

So many cool blogs, I want to list them.

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

So many cool blogs to list, so little time to list them 😭

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

unpopular opinion

This is a more serious post than what I normally do folks, just a forewarning.

Tw for the mention of pedophilia and discussion of POCD. If you want to skip this post because you feel you would be triggered by this, please do.

Does anyone else feel like the way the label radnormal is being used is in an inherently ableist way. A lot of posts I have seen have really incredibly triggered my POCD, due to their vitriol and misunderstanding of disorder vs. Just Being A Bad Person. There is so much stigma around having intrusive paraphilic thoughts, many of the posts I’ve seen under the radnormal tag have been totally ignoring that fact that many people with paraphilic disorders don’t want to experience what they experience surrounding attraction, and may be having intrusive thoughts and have not yet realised this (which had been my own experience).

I truly believe that saying that “if you think about this you are a pedo” is incredibly triggering for folks with POCD or other types of moral OCD. And I know for a fact that many people (although not all who are posting under the radnormal tag have said these things, but those who have) will not take real accountability for their actions and educate themselves on the type of language better used to not be ableist (whether this is an accidental or purposeful mistake).

tw for the next paragraph: mentions of SA, mentions of death threats (plus the same tw as the rest of this post)

My final point is that I myself am a survivor. People under the radnormal tag have this massive thing about “protecting survivors”, but I (personally) do not feel protected by the common radnormal rhetoric. I’ve seen posts detailing how anyone experiencing paraphilia should die. Does this include me with POCD which formed due to my trauma? I have no idea, and it scares me. The fact that people aren’t distinguishing between offending predators and people who don’t want to experience what they do and feel disgusted by their own thoughts and feelings, is disgusting to me. The fact that people are being so unconsciously ableist is disgusting to me. And the fact that I am yet to see a single person take accountability when a disabled person explains to them how they are being ablest via the way they are using the radnormal label, is disgusting.

I’m open to discussion on this, but I am not open to disrespect.

[hihi-puffy-yumi]

Radnormal ≠ hating ppl with paraphilic disorder

And they don't belive in "thought crime"

They r only against ppl who ACT on their (harmfull) attraction (aka being a predator)

Radnormal is not against people with intrusive thoughts - at least in theory, but I personally haven't met anyone who's radnormal or people within the radnormal umbrella group who match the description you gave/gen

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

Perhaps radnormal as a term itself isn’t ableist towards those of us with OCD and intrusive thoughts, but I have seen individuals using the term radnormal posting drawings saying “kill all [insert paraphilic disorder here]” and not making the incredibly important distinction between the people who experience those paraphiles due to intrusive thoughts and disorders and those who act on those thoughts and are predators. That distinction just isn’t being made, and it’s incredibly ableist (and often triggering!) towards people with POCD like myself.

I definitely understand what you’re saying, and I understand that the term itself doesn’t inherently mean hating people with paraphilic and intrusive thought based disorders, HOWEVER, there is certainly a group of people using the radnormal tag who aren’t making that distinction, and that in itself is ableist.

I also feel like even people like yourself, who are being respectful, still don’t want to acknowledge the fact that some members of their community Are Being Ableist.

Thank you for your respectful reblog!

[polymindpositivity]

whats the difference between endo and polyminds?

why do polyminds use terms that are so similar to those of systems?

(not hate)

Endogenics is plurality formed without trauma as the main cause.

Polymindence is seeing your subpersonalities as unique individuals.

Polymindence can happen because of trauma, which already negates it being endogenics. Polymindence also isn't inherently plural, as plural changes depending on who you ask (this is also why its vague on the carrd, if Spectral said it was definitely not plural or definitely was, he'd be under fire. It's a lose-lose-lose situation).

Polymind terms and system terms being similar is purely coincidental. Many of the terms (like active, swap, ect.) come from subpersonality studies or IFS therapy. The other terms come from within the community without influence of systems (there are a FEW, but those are highly controversial and labeled as such on the wiki). It's just hard to not make synonyms as systemhood and polymindence both describe some level of many individuals in one body.

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

As someone who practices IFS both in and and out of therapy, I can second the fact that a lot of the terms are similar!

[ex-radqueer-confessions]

I’m honestly .. very concerned abt this whole “radnormal” development ..

for context I was unaware of the rqc until some youtuber covered them (pretty sure they did the rqc doc)

I had a lot of shame after coming to terms with me having atypical dysphoria and joined the rqc because honestly I was desperate for a place I felt I could belong w/o being hated. I knew that ppl hated rqs but I was already seen as inherently bad and evil by large parts of the queer/mogai community for aspects of myself I couldn’t control so I felt like I had no option but to be rq to be accepted ..

I left the community after awhile upon finding out that very prominent groomers and pro-c maps/zoos were accepted so I left .. then I was back at square one. but thankfully the anti-rq community helped me figure out different terms or communities I could join that aren’t rq-aligned so I could be safe but also find spaces that will accept me n the dysphoria I experience ! (chronosian , desirdae , intusi , non-rq ids etc)

that is to say … a lot of ppl who are rq or are in rq spaces are not bad people or want to harm others, in fact most of the ppl I met were very good people ! they had just been pushed into the furthest corners of the internet for parts of themselves they cannot change, and latched onto a community they thought would be safe and accept them .. unfortunately a lot of bad people latch onto the community as well because rq is the Only place that will accept them.

so you have vulnerable (young as well, either minors or young adults ) queer people and predators mingling in the same space .. but those vulnerable ppl don’t feel they belong anywhere else !

and thats all people want .. is to be accepted for who they are !

I feel like this whole radnormal thing is ultimately going to push people further into rq spaces and away from more safer communities because like .. to them if ppl who are against them are THIS hostile, bigoted and hateful .. of course they would see rq and adjacent spaces as better !

so im very worried abt this radnormal thing getting traction because ppl might see that and go “oh wow the antis of this movement are like . really awful .. im going to check the movement they hate so much to see if its really that bad .” and it might lead to MORE people joining rq spaces !!

which could lead to people becoming radicalized into harmful ideologies , being groomed or becoming abusers like .. idk im very against this whole radnormal thing …

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

unpopular opinion

This is a more serious post than what I normally do folks, just a forewarning.

Tw for the mention of pedophilia and discussion of POCD. If you want to skip this post because you feel you would be triggered by this, please do.

Does anyone else feel like the way the label radnormal is being used is in an inherently ableist way. A lot of posts I have seen have really incredibly triggered my POCD, due to their vitriol and misunderstanding of disorder vs. Just Being A Bad Person. There is so much stigma around having intrusive paraphilic thoughts, many of the posts I’ve seen under the radnormal tag have been totally ignoring that fact that many people with paraphilic disorders don’t want to experience what they experience surrounding attraction, and may be having intrusive thoughts and have not yet realised this (which had been my own experience).

I truly believe that saying that “if you think about this you are a pedo” is incredibly triggering for folks with POCD or other types of moral OCD. And I know for a fact that many people (although not all who are posting under the radnormal tag have said these things, but those who have) will not take real accountability for their actions and educate themselves on the type of language better used to not be ableist (whether this is an accidental or purposeful mistake).

tw for the next paragraph: mentions of SA, mentions of death threats (plus the same tw as the rest of this post)

My final point is that I myself am a survivor. People under the radnormal tag have this massive thing about “protecting survivors”, but I (personally) do not feel protected by the common radnormal rhetoric. I’ve seen posts detailing how anyone experiencing paraphilia should die. Does this include me with POCD which formed due to my trauma? I have no idea, and it scares me. The fact that people aren’t distinguishing between offending predators and people who don’t want to experience what they do and feel disgusted by their own thoughts and feelings, is disgusting to me. The fact that people are being so unconsciously ableist is disgusting to me. And the fact that I am yet to see a single person take accountability when a disabled person explains to them how they are being ablest via the way they are using the radnormal label, is disgusting.

I’m open to discussion on this, but I am not open to disrespect.

[theetherealpride]

I am so unreasonably afraid of art fight

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

very real, I’m doing it for the first time this year but I’ve prepped for AGES

[polymindpositivity]

Underrated support in the community, shout out to polymind emoji makers. Thank you so much, they are awesome.

[polymindpositivity]

polymind positivity is the joke-rivalry one of my minds has with a mind from a different mindset (huge help for figuring out when that mind is around or not)

This is absolutely polymind positivity

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

Relatable AF

-🍊 Clementine

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

Also anons that I have yet to answer, I’ll get to it as soon as I have the time ((:

[pride-heartz]

Polymind hearts

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

I loooove these! What usage terms do you have these under? (Ie. Could these be used for personal usage on my blog, would you like credit etc.)

[puppetedmindset]

Guys there is less and less active people in the polymind community, we need to lock the fuck in, our community is dying!!!!

Quick sound the alarms!! More positivity!! More rants!!!! More mindcourse!!!!!!!

/silly /hsrs

- 📞 Spam

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

I have a straw page now!

Feel free to check it out, I’m not finished creating it, it’s under works but I feel fine with publishing it at this stage!

Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see on it that I haven’t added yet. I’m looking forward to seeing any drawings or confessions anyone sends me! However, I won’t tolerate any NSFW on these! (Though swearing is fine.)

[what-the-flock]

None of the minds feel happy with the term "genderfluid" despite that being the most literal interpretation of our experiences. One of the minds (🥭) still insists that we're a binary trans man despite all evidence to the contrary, so I think it's some internalized shame 🥀

[fee-is-not-a-bee]

very relatable, as a whole I (we) identify as genderfluid, but each mind has a different gender.

[sour-not-sweet]

Polyminds from an outside perspective

I do not practice or label myself as polymind. However, I do follow the tags. I am learning passively from what I have seen on tumblr these past recent months. This is what I have learned.

Polyminds are not copying anything from what I have come to observe, and they are trying to create their own footprint, away from current typical plural/CDD system spaces. Something that is harder to do now, especially when starting with such a small footprint. There is some cultural similarities with terms, flags, and finding roles/functions, and origin terms with plural spaces. But this is not a unique overlap. So many communities have these same creative outlets, and means of trying to create a written history/guide, and connecting with eachother.

To me, polymindance it is a nuaced mix of parts, modes, masks, self-states, and thoughtforms.

It is not a system unless it functions as one and someone feels it is accurate for their experience. Because "system" can describe many things without brining in plural systemhood.

Polymindance can be a very unified experience for those who's mindsets never interact with eachother, but are aware of their individual existence and how they function together.

It can be a very separated experience. An advanced method of self-talk, self-care, and self-awareness. It can be a way to conceptualize and interact with the different masks you wear.

It can be a lot of things that are neither plural nor a CDD. Perhaps it is median but to the left. Parts work expanding outside of the common therapy techniques? Masking made fun? Living characters tied to specific parts of your identity? Daemon-like but only how they are part of you? So many possibilities, and perhaps not even related to anything here.

Anyway. We once thought it was endogenic plurality but made clean for anti-endos. We were confused on why a new term needed to be made for an experience that looked so similar to other things we already closely understood or related to.

But now, we get it. Sometimes it does look the same, but it's not. This is a unique way of labeling something that is already hard to explain perfectly. Things involving the mind, personality states, and how thoughts work will always be...

Replace time with "the mind" and you get "wibbly-wobbly, mindey-wimey... stuff"