Fishpond

Hello there🐝 I draw stuff and fixating on fictional media • they/she • link to twitter

[feijoafish]

Ok book nicki completely broke me like it's doomed in him since the beginning, death isn't a release it’s a pure darkness void how does Anne rice make a character THIS DEPRESSING I mean it as a commendatory but if I were lestat I’d sleep underground for hundreds years too

[nyanakin]

Grief, loss, and mourning are such prominent motifs in VC from the beginning to the end, especially for Louis, Lestat, and Armand.

@rainbowcarousels just reminded me of when Lestat says the name 'Nicolas' to Louis for the first time that he can remember, in the 200 years that they've loved each other:

Ah, if only I could reach back over the centuries and bring the light of this ballroom into the world I had once shared with someone else....

"What's the matter?" he [Louis] said to me suddenly.

"What?"

"I saw something, something in your eyes."

"Just thought of a boy I once loved a long time ago."

"Nicolas," he said.

"Yes, Nicolas," I answered. "Seemed all the little victories of life and life after death were so hard for him, happiness was so hard for him.. joy was an agony I think, but I don't want to think of it now."

"Some of us are infinitely better at being miserable than happy," he said gently. "We're good at it, and proud of it, and we get better and better at it, and we simply don't know what it means to be happy."

I nodded. My thoughts were as thick and confused as the dancers, the music. But the dancers and the music were beautiful. My thoughts were not.

I could not recall ever having spoken of Nicolas to Louis, never ever even mentioning Nicolas's name. But then I do not remember everything, as I once thought I did.

There is something in us, even us, that will not allow for that, something that pushes the memory of suffering that is unbearable slowly away.

"I have no gift for being miserable," I said.

"I know," he said. He laughed. Such a human face.

Such a lovely face.

There must surely have been twice as many blood drinkers now in this ballroom as there had ever been, and I sensed that I had ought to stop having such a marvelous time and return to greeting newcomers as the Prince should. But not before holding Louis for a moment, and then kissing him and telling him low in French that I loved him and always had. ~ Lestat, BC

To me, the later trilogy — maybe due in part to being more action-based and primarily set in the present? — largely lacks the depth and emotional resonance of the earlier books, but they do feature some of my favorite moments in the Chronicles as well.

And this is one of those scenes that stands out as being the final step in the process of grieving a loved one. The place where given enough support, security, and time, we can perhaps settle into and we can talk about them as being someone we once knew and loved (Claudia is different in this context because that is a shared loss to Lestat and Louis).

Additionally, the lines 'we simply don't know what it means to be happy' and 'something that pushes the memory of suffering that is unbearable slowly away' are simple enough in the language used but devastatingly powerful in describing the feelings of brain fog and disassociation that can come with living day-to-day with clinical depression and PTSD (which can also be triggered by loss), and I don't know — I'm grateful to Anne for sharing the ups-and-down her life's journey through her work in a way that made both baby and adult me's world a little less isolating and confusing. Because she understood.

[savagewilderness]

Nicolas: I want you to promise me one thing. That when you’re a very famous actor and spend all of our* time performing in the Queen’s private theatre, you’ll still have a glass of wine with me now and then. We’ll meet at the Blind Cupid on the left bank and we’ll go on with ‘our conversation’.

Don’t ever give up on me, Lestat.

Lestat: I love you too much. You know that.

Nicki: Let’s go to bed.

Nickistat in Anne Rice’s hand…

[feijoafish]

aldo giulio alda giulia whatever they say

[userarmand]

armand blocking amadeo from the audience's view

[feijoafish]

fly me to the moon♾️

link to twt

[feijoafish]

soooo i learned about the Marian blue chasuble

link to twt

[feijoafish]

The amend of a heart

link to twt

[feijoafish]

this is a call for help… any 18+ iwtv discord server that I can join… 👉👈

[feijoafish]

🩸

link to twt

[sad-endings-suck]

babe, wake up. new autistic x adhd duo just dropped

[oncelerfucker]

it's not the markhelly show!!!!! it's not the markgemma show either!!!!!!!!!! it's the "can you fundamentally grind an adult human being's consciousness down into nothing, cutting them off from their entire sense of self, thus turning them into an ideal blank slate ala 1800's euroamerican christian theories about children being pure souls without sin FOR the furthering of some fucked up capitalist cult's unknown goals" show !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[feijoafish]

I looked at how the S3 so called villain so badly written and I SIGH cho sangwoo you’ll be forever missed

[feijoafish]

Squid season spoiler

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This is the birth rate boosting propaganda I am not falling for

[feijoafish]

Passage of time

Link to twitter

P.s. I’m not on here mainly on twitter—

[cynical-cat]

Conclave (2024) // Assassin's Creed Brotherhood (2010)

[sebsketchs]

sticker design for pride this year! 💞🏳️‍⚧️