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@felicia--disalvo
Text | Felicia → Oliver
Oliver: I would say all of us do.
Oliver: I wasn't planning to cease to exist once I graduate.
Oliver: As disappointing as that may be.
Felicia: Aren't you the one usually whining about a cease fire?
Felicia: I meant that some of us have to have a plan for the day after graduation.
Felicia: And some of us could afford to take a few years finding ourselves before worrying if the electricity is going to be shut off.
I’m not going to fight with you about this. It really isn’t worth it. You can be cuter than a rock monster. For the sake of the friendship I will concede that point.
Do I have any idea how much anything costs?
It wasn’t, but you may have given me an idea for the next time. This isn’t like you, referencing your looks, talking about your ass. When did Felicia DiSalvo get so vain?
So, pretty well?
I don't know, I'm not a mind reader. I'd go with you having an extensive knowledge of the prices of things normal people don't need to know the price of but being completely unable to budget a normal trip to the grocery store. You do know what a grocery store is, right?
There probably shouldn't be a next time, for the sake of your well-being and all. And I'd say it roughly occurred around the same time that my ass became the most interesting thing about me.
Fabulously. What more can a girl ask for than beer, pizza, and a Dance Moms marathon? Fuck social interactions, I'll take carbs and borderline child abuse any day.
Text | Felicia → Oliver
Oliver: So now you're a lawyer?
Oliver: Amen to that.
Felicia: Some of us do have to prepare to do things in the future.
Geez, that sounds completely unnecessary, and on behalf of you and everyone else there I apologize. If you want to be picky do it at home.
Completely unnecessary and yet the norm for trying to get coffee in Jupiter. Them being this picky at home would require them realizing that you can make coffee at home, which most of them don't.
Time to register.
I suppose it’s entirely too late to change majors.  I knew I should have gone into the Environmental studies or something like that.  I don’t even know if I want to go back to school.Â
Unless you're going into a field with practical applications, no one uses their degree anyhow. For all intents and purposes, college is designed as a series of hoops for you to jump through with little pay off in the end.
It is actually possible to order a coffee in fewer than fifteen minutes. None of us give a shit about your lactose intolerance or the fact that you're avoiding white carbs on odd numbered days. We do give a shit about getting properly caffeinated and not spending the whole day in line.
Text | Felicia → Oliver
Oliver: Since when did you change your major to English?
Oliver: I will do my fucking best.
Oliver: As much as I really enjoyed it.
Felicia: I didn't but that doesn't mean I can go in front of a judge and say someone was literally fucked unless they were.
Felicia: I'm sure you did. The only thing more appropriate would be if I got trapped in a church.
Hey, I’m not the one who couldn’t accept that a fictional character just might be more adorable than I am. That seems like something you should see a shrink about.
I had another joke there, but I’ll spare you. Since I’ve been bombing so far.
Dare I ask, but did you at least end up enjoying your birthday? I can only imagine you enjoyed rubbing it in the face of the first person to card you.
One, I'm fucking adorable. Two, you brought up fictional characters and created imaginary age ranges for them. Three, do you have any idea how much that costs?
If that joke was about my ass, was a play on the word ass including but not limited to astronomy or astrophysics, or about donkeys... You chose wisely.
I'm banned from River Stix for pointing out they could be sued and everyone else has gone AWOL. The guy at 7-11 ignored the fact that I was underage for the past three years and would probably only card me if I was wearing a turtleneck. I don't own any turtlenecks so it was basically the same as being twenty.
Text | Felicia → Oliver
Oliver: I forgot that this was how you worry.
Oliver: I wanted to text you to tell you I was all right, and believe me, I did. If I could have gotten through any other way, you would have heard from me, but I was literally in a bunker waiting for armageddon.
Felicia: That's because I don't usually worry.
Felicia: From what you've said, you were literally in a basement waiting for the fire department.
Felicia: Don't do it again.
Oh, because all rich people have shrinks, right? And I think the operative word was cute, not hot.
Not to disappoint, but I wasn’t looking at your ass.
No, because some rich people who have strong opinions on rock monsters should probably have shrinks.
You don't need to be looking at it, the right answer is always no. Good to know that you can teach an old dog new tricks, though.
Text | Felicia → Oliver
Oliver: I was trapped in a fucking basement! No phone, no WiFi, no hole in the ceiling to send smoke signals through.
Oliver: We were about fifteen minutes from killing the goddamned carrier pigeons for food.
Felicia: Do not treat me like I'm being irrational for being worried about you.
Felicia: And don't be so fucking dramatic.
Have you ever seen the baby ones? Look, I’m not saying that you’re not pretty, but it’s not easy to compete with that.
Yet another joke. I know I’m getting rusty, but you really have to bare with me on a few of these.
That's a conversation for you and your shrink. Attraction to adolescent rock monsters is way out of my pay grade.
And is the next joke going to be about how my ass does indeed look fat in these pants? Or did you mean you're rusty at interacting with other human beings?
Text | Felicia → Oliver
Oliver: ...Really? That's what you're mad about?
Oliver: I was stuck in the Maxwell basement. I didn't have any signal.
Oliver: I sent you like two or three messages and they never went through.
Oliver: Didn't your phone tell you that your iMessages weren't getting delivered?
Felicia: So get a fucking carrier pigeon. Learn Morse code. Semaphore. Smoke signals.
Felicia: You don't just fall off the face of the earth, Oliver. If you do, you deal with me being pissed the fuck off about it.
Felicia: Contrary to popular belief, there is such a thing as regular text messages.
Appearances can be deceiving princess and I call it as I see it until proven otherwise. And you have yet to show me anything to the contrary but, you do have a point with me ignoring your need to be left alone. And I would love get into how I was just trying to be nice but then we’d just be going around in circles. Truth be told I was curious, curious as to how an out going chick from high school turned into such a bitch. But solely my opinion, wouldn’t want you thinking I’m projecting or anything.
And I can walk around insisting a cat is a squirrel because they both have four legs, a tail, and fur, but that doesn't actually make a cat a squirrel. It would, however, make me an idiot. In this scenario? You're the idiot. You know absolutely nothing about me or what I'm like. Even if you did, you have absolutely zero right to act like you're entitled to answers about anything.
Text | Felicia → Oliver
Oliver: Did we call a truce?
Felicia: That was before you decided to go radio silent during an earthquake.
About time
Actually I don’t. Everyone knows what I am saying is true. You are just too stubborn to see it. You think you are always right when it is actually the opposite. No one can stand you or your attitude. Even people from your side of town. Obviously it does, otherwise I wouldn’t have all these people listening to me and doing as I say.
As we've been over before, other people's opinions don't really matter. Especially not the opinions of someone worth nothing more than being someone's brainless trophy. People listen to you not because they think you have anything worthwhile to say but because they got used to it with Violet. Now, Oliver just doesn't care enough to put everyone out of their misery by getting rid of you.
@phoebejtonkin:Â the album cover. great day shooting @brandonharman @heathercatania xx #la #2koolÂ
