– “WHAT?” it was mostly out of confusion, a cluelessly optimistic smile on his face. for a moment – a mere, fleeting moment – he misunderstood. the past tense didn’t register in his brain, and for a moment, he thought, god, she’s pregnant, and then the memories flooded back to him. the accident, the hospital, the month of waiting – agonizing, terrified waiting for her to wake up, and the mixture of horror and shock when she opened her eyes and didn’t recognize him. those memories, on top of the obvious things – she wasn’t showing at all, and god, if she was seven weeks pregnant in april, the baby would be born right around now – made the smile fall from his features as a wave of realization came over him. she had lost the baby in the accident. “w —- what?” it was airy and light, barely slipping past the knot in his throat, which he attempted to swallow as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.
he couldn’t do much more besides let them fall as he turned the thought over and over in his head. his eyes flickered away when hers did, and the only sound in the room was a quiet sniffle from him. maybe the saying was true – the one that went something like you don’t know how good you’ve got it ‘til it’s gone, except for ez, he hadn’t even known he wanted it in the first place. but he did – he wanted a baby with felicitie more than anything, and he’d had that chance. and if he’d just fucking shredded that letter, she wouldn’t have gone out that night, or maybe if he just hadn’t slept with camila in the first place all those years ago —— “we were gonna have a baby,” he moved closer to her, curling one arm around her waist and the other over her shoulder to place on the back of her head. he pressed a kiss to her forehead, wet with tears. her words paralyzed him, sending a shock down his spine and prompting him to pull away and meet her eyes. “—–you —–” he sniffled, letting out a choked, disbelieving laugh. he cleared his throat, then, his eyebrows furrowing. “—-you want – to try again?” not that they’d tried the first time, but this time —- this time they would, and they’d get another chance. “i want that —- i want that more than anything, fiz. god, i wanna have a baby with you.” he chuckled, a broken, quiet sort of sound, pressing another kiss to her forehead ( this one a bit more energetic than the last ). “you n’ ec —- you —- you’re the light of my life, fiz. knew that from the moment i met you. and – and i —-” he let out a bashful laugh then at his own stuttering. “—- we can do it, fiz. god, we can have a baby. let’s have a baby.”
❛ well ... good. ❜ it seemed rather odd to be laughing in this sort of situation. there had been too many tears shed and too much heartbreak to turn this conversation into a blessing. but that’s what life had been all about for them. roadblocks and heartbreak and turning that into something that made them so much better. despite her previous relationships and previous struggles, she couldn’t imagine going through what she had gone through within the last year with anyone else. his hands knew how to hold her and how to make her feel like not one thing on this god forsaken earth could break her. the way he spent his days and most nights protecting this city made her confident that halston was the safest city to keep her children in. the way he watched over their kids –– the way he took her daughter in as his own –– made her confident enough to know that the next two would be raised with class and dignity and love. god, was it clear how much he loved them. that’s why the next sentence that fell from her lips seemed like the easiest in the world. ❛ ––– what about two ? ❜ her voice was shakey as her eyes scanned his for some way to say that he registered what she had said. knowing ezra, however, he practically studied each word that fell from her lips so she wasn’t surprised when it seemed as though she needed to explain. however, it was easier to move her hands from his face to her stomach to speak.
❛ they’re thirteen weeks and five days. ❜ a short laugh fell from her lips as the tears continued to fall. she couldn’t tell if they were still falling from the conversation before or if they were for a whole different reason. her smile grew wide as she let out yet another soft laugh before she spoke again. ❛ twenty fingers. twenty toes. the works, bug. ❜ she lifted her hands from her stomach as she looked him in the eyes once again. once they connected with his, she could almost feel the other’s emotions as her own. they both had kids of their own. they’d both practically raised them on their own ( fel would credit a lot of help to her parents –– who were packing as she thought to move down to halston ). now they didn’t have to. raising children as a team seemed a lot more appealing than raising them alone. ❛ we’re having... a baby, baby –– well, babies. ❜ the happiness rung through her lips as it took everything in her not to squeeze her arms around his neck as tight as possible. ❛ and you’re going to be the best dad for them. you raised your ... our kids to be the best they could be, and i can’t wait to do it all again with you. ❜
