Felicity Clemente

"The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows."

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

They were awkward and exhausted. They were actually getting along. Part of Farren didn’t want to believe it but the truth was there. Time was running out, but she had managed to find one more person to trust and to fight with- or fight for? The little rhyme about wannabe siblings was funnier than it should have been so, naturally, Farren blamed it on her tiredness. She might even be able to blame the withdrawals as well. The drug had made her desperate and paranoid before. She wouldn’t be surprised if it also came with some insane, slap-happy spells. “I like that,” she mumbled, surprising herself and not sure if Felicity even heard her. “Sister from another mister, but let’s not do that. Both of our dads suck.” Had she really just said that? Out loud? Farren frowned and averted her eyes. Until just a year ago, she’d actually had a good relationship with the man who’d raised her. But she’d known even then that she was really the product of an affair. Her biological father was Falcon Andrews- Talon’s dad. (He started the bird name trend). She didn’t exactly hate him because he had provided a few tips and resources for her training and been relatively supportive of her developing interest in torture even from a distance. But there was a slight, muffled alarm in her brain that swore he’d done something horrible to her a long time ago… that thing she couldn’t bring herself to remember… Farren grimaced and shook her head, willing herself back to the present.

Felicity’s father had abandoned the family or something. Farren remembered that from one of their previous heart-to-heart sessions and, this time, she felt the slightest twinge of sympathy for the girl. Would you believe it’s the first F I’ve ever gotten? Farren stared at Felicity in momentary disbelief. The fact that the lame comment had been vocalized was funnier than the phrase itself. Oh, yes. Farren could believe it. Felicity would have been the perfect student- at least where books and technology were concerned. Failure would be unfamiliar to her, but there was a difference between experiencing something and feeling it. The girl was far from perfect and, with that in mind, Farren allowed herself to smile. Without even meaning to, her lips parted and a brief course of laughter escaped. At first, it was high with genuine amusement but it escalated, louder and more insane. She wasn’t laughing because it was funny anymore; she just couldn’t stop laughing because there wasn’t anything else she could do. Something between a sob and a shriek came next and prompted Farren to shut up. They were going to die. It was tragic. It was funny and she was just hysterical. Morphling, she thought senselessly. But, no. That started with an M. She stared at Felicity once more and shook with another fit of crazed laughter, but this time it was silent.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Maybe Farren was right. Their Dad's hadn't been great, but still she was always saddened by any memory of him. After all, he had given up. He'd had a chance, but decided against taking it. That was as good as abandoning her mother and their children. As much as it hurt to admit, she wasn't proud of her father, of who he was in those few last moments. They had never really been that close but it still hurt when she found out he was gone. There was no way he was coming back. And then Jace... Stopping the thoughts there, before they had a chance to develop she focused back on Farren. The girl seemed to appreciate her comment, a little more so than necessary. But this was Farren and her emotional spectrum went so quickly and easily from one extreme to the other. It only ever took a couple fo words to annoy the girl. Three words that would usually make her freeze and become frustrated but no choice but to hold back her anger, and one small, self inflicted insult to make her laugh.

As far as Felicity was concerned, it was just nice to see her laughing, even if she did sound slightly too manic.When the girl turned to face her, silent laughter still clearly getting the better of her it was hard not to join in. Though by comparison hers did seem a lot tamer. They were both exhausted, drained from all their 'discussion' and the topics that they had been so easily upset over. It had been a long time since she had raised her voice, she hated it and to say her throat didn't hurt would be silly. Clearing it, she placed a hand on the girls knee and shook her head still smiling. "Come on. Why don't we leave?" Her voice was croaky, and she didn't like it. Pushing herself up, she cleared her throat once more and offered a hand to Farren. Her free hand rubbed her throat, it felt like sandpaper. "I'm starting to think that ice cream would be helpful."

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

The entire time Felicity worked on her injury, Farren remained decidedly silent. She twitched a few times but, honestly, the shocks she experienced were more mental than physical pains. It wasn’t until the bandage was secured in place that she realized how stupid they were for even trying to make the cut heal. It would leave a scar. It would be there when she died. It might even be among the first of her damaged flesh to rot. Farren frowned at her own morbidity. It certainly wasn’t helping her now, but then again, neither was the scar. Even the Capitol’s best medicine wasn’t magic and what Felicity had used seemed far too ordinary. A better solution would have been scraping at her arm until the F could pass for a training-related injury rather than a threat, a promise, a poor attempt at revenge, or whatever Felicity meant it to be. Farren sighed. She watched Felicity stand, looking away and probably facing a similar blend of emotion. She pretended to ignore the girl when she returned and sat down beside her but, secretly, she was glad for the company. The wall they leaned against seemed pretty sturdy but it couldn’t be expected to bear the weight of the world. Just like the two girls who were far too exhausted to be restful, it would crumble and collapse into a thousand irretrievable pieces.

It was odd seeing Felicity with her eyes closed. Farren wasn’t a hundred percent sure but she thought the last time she’d seen the girl even remotely relaxed had been the time she sneaked into her room and woke the girl up to threaten her- something about their old alliance. That thought sent her mind reeling. They weren’t even allies anymore. At least, not officially. They’d shared more with each other than any of the other tributes but they still had their own paths. Good thing all roads led to the final three. Farren growled internally when Felicity spoke again. The apology was as predictable as it was unwanted. “You don’t have to tell me about it,” she countered after a beat of tense silence. Farren had done more damage to the girl than she could even fully recall. Getting upset over an impulsive cut would be both stupid and hypocritical. “I’m pretty sure I understand it better than anyone.” She nodded as if the gesture would confirm her truthfulness. “And besides…” Farren had the twisted audacity to actually smirk right then. “Now, it’s like we’re twins.” She could feel her defenses cracking, her mind and body couldn’t take much more strain, but, somehow, she put on a fake, exaggerated smile and finished with a decently witty comment, staring at Felicity like she was waiting for approval. “But matching tattoos might have been a better idea.”

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Sitting back, dumfounded at the girls remark and her smile, Felicity stared straight ahead unable to think of a coherent or worth while response. Did Farren just say they were alike. She was sure it should be taken positively. But the knowledge of Farren's previous, simple utter loathing of her, and everything she did would have made it hard to say. Had the girl really changed her opinion or Felicity that much? Or was it that she no longer saw her self so positively. It was the latter that made her worry. Pushing the thought aside she shuddered at Farren's suggestion, closing her eyes once more. "Never a tattoo. I can't I'm terrified of needles. Anything to do with Doctors in general. or medicine. Just. No, I would never. Maybe if you drew it with a pen or something.." she trailed off, knowing that though it was a decent attempt at conversation, Farren probably didn't care and wasting anymore energy talking seemed silly.

She knew Farren was tired.If it wasn't from the forthright declaration, then it would have been made clear enough through her actions and temperament alone. One moment the girl was downright murderous, the next she was petulant and now she was friendly and far more approachable than Felicity could ever recall her being. So now, she sat here, to tired to move, scared to question why Farren was suddenly to chipper, and too awkward to do nothing and let the silence settle. "Twins huh?. I think Konno had a rhyme for that once. Sister..um, oh dear. It was Brother from another Mother, and Sister from another Mister. That was it. People who should, or wish they had a bond stronger than friendship, without a real blood relation." shrugging she turned her head enough so that when she opened her eyes she could see Farren, and her reaction. "I'm not sure. I guess we do share those though. Would you believe it's the first F I've ever gotten?"

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

Farren remained where she was, slumped against the wall. Her head was at an awkward, uncomfortable angle, balanced on her shoulder. Her eyes were closed and she had no desire to open them again anytime soon. She was suddenly very aware of the blood that coursed through her veins, the air that passed through her lungs, and the early stages of a severe headache that shared her head space with all the overwhelming thoughts. She was aware that Felicity was moving around the room and handling a few objects. Farren liked to think she’d always had good hearing and a decent sense of direction, so even when she was ready to shut down mentally, she had a pretty good idea of where her opponent- friend, Felicity was a friend! -might be. She tensed at the unmistakable sound of a bottle hitting the floor. What was in this room besides the weapons? Farren decided she had to know. Her eyes snapped open immediately and she straightened her position, sitting up a little straighter but still leaning heavily on the wall for support, and looking up just in time to see the girl approaching.

Neither of them said anything at first. Farren mentally noted the medical supplies her friend held and resisted the temptation to roll her eyes. Obviously, this cut wouldn’t necessitate a trip to the infirmary, but she’d still caught herself hoping. The walk there would hurt but it would bring her that much closer to the drug… Felicity was there, kneeling beside her and gently taking hold of her arm. Farren didn’t let herself so much as blink until she understood what was going on. When she found her forearm stretched across the girl’s lap, she made the connection that should have been obvious. Is this okay? Farren put on an expression that managed to be a nonverbal answer for her: eyebrows coming closer together and her disapproving frown exaggerated, the look said, Are you stupid? Of course it was okay. What other choice did she have? This was meant to help her and there a zero percent chance of Felicity making it any worse. Even if the girl wanted to hurt her, it wouldn’t make any difference after a few more days. She let out a single note of pained, bitter laughter at the thought.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

From the look she received in response, she could only guess that having not done this sooner had been a mistake. Knowing now that Farren would not react to her assistance, Felicity wasted no time with the antiseptic. When she was satisfied that it was clean, she put it to the side picking up the small container and carefully placing a small amount over the lines of the F. Taking the bandage, she carefully wrapped it around Farren's arm, making sure to not hurt the girl. Once she had finished, and had taped the loose end down, she sat back, letting go of Farren's arm and focusing on packing up what was left of the supplies. Without a word, she stood and walked over to the table, placing everything back where she had gotten it. Now, with everything packed up, Farren taken care off and no other immediate distraction she stood with her back to the girl, unsure what to do or say. What was there to say? She had said everything and anything she could have about how much Farren meant to her, alive and yet there was still no denying that the girl would die at Felicity's hand.

Sighing, she walked back to the wall, this time sitting beside Farren and closing her eyes. Her head hurt. It was safe to say she was exhausted. Her muscles ached, her stomach was sore from Farren's punch and from their many outbursts, both seemed to be lacking their usual energy. Rubbing her eyes and sitting forward she took a moment before blinking and looking at Farren. "I am sorry about doing that. At the time it made sense. I was upset. You weren't listening and I took my frustration out on you. It wasn't right of me to do that." Felicity couldn't help but apologise for it. It had been wrong of her and even though it evened out Farren's own actions towards her in the past, she still felt guilty. The girl was violent, it was somehow more acceptable for her to do something like that. But for Felicity to do it? It seemed wrong. So very wrong and she hated knowing that she had been so cruel as to leave a permanent mark on the girl. Whether Farren was live for much longer or not didn't matter. What mattered was that it was there at all, and it was all because Felicity couldn't control her own anger.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Pants | Calico & Felicity |

[lolpaisley]

Calico was far from searching from trouble. A nice walk was exactly what she needed. With some fresh air and a little time, maybe Callie could forget the horrid nightmare she had two sunsets ago that caused her to wake up in a frightening gasp that also woke up her district partner. An apology was all she could give to the boy when he angrily stormed into her room wondering ‘what’s the big idea?’. Maybe someone could comfort her. There were always nice tributes, right? At this point, Calico could use all of the allies she could get. Someone that had taken the time to position herself against a tree couldn’t possibly be rude and the young girl could use a little bit of comfort at the moment. “Excuse me.” She cleared her throat as her gaze was cast onto the sleeping beauty. “I’m sorry to interrupt your… Dream.”

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Opening her eyes and pushing herself up, she looked at the figure who stood above her. The small careful tone to the voice had been enough to make her jump but the calm nature of the person told her it was fine. Sitting up slowly, and rubbing her eyes she took a moment before answering. Thankfully, the sun was blocked by who she assumed to be a female tribute, though it was hard to make out their features. "It is quite alright. I'm sorry, was I in your way?" Standing up hastily and stumbling slightly, she brushed herself off. "I..I can go. I am truly sorry. I did not intend to be troublesome." Tucking her hair behind her ear, Felicity gave a small nervous smile and moved as though to leave. Trying to avoid bumping into them as much as she could.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

Just as quickly as it had appeared, Farren’s display of weakness and sentimentality vanished. It did so just as Felicity pulled away from their embrace. Farren had time to force her features into a more natural expression but the evidence of her panicked distraught was still there: the dryness in her throat made it even more difficult to speak than before, her eyes were still leaking unwanted tears and the skin around them felt red and sensitive. She sighed and shook her head, in spite of how much both actions stung her. The refusal she seemed to express was actually in response to her own actions. Farren Rogers wasn’t someone who cried and she definitely wasn’t someone who hugged. For all the times she’d kissed him, she could count on one hand the number of times she and Jaxon had actually embraced. Weird. Somehow, with Felicity, it had felt like the right thing to do: to seek comfort through contact, and to just let her emotions out without any more words or hesitance.

When she shook her head that second time, it was actually meant for Felicity. The girl seemed panicked and desperate to help. How was it possible she didn’t realize… she’d already done enough. She was the best- and probably the only -friend Farren ever had. Offering her services and condolences seemed instinctive so Farren shut up and let it happen. In the moments she stood quietly frowning, her mind raced past several fleeting notes and concepts. It was true. There were several things she needed: reassurance, sponsors, supplies, sleep. Or how about more time? Or a second chance at life while they were at it! Everything she could have asked or wished for seemed impossible and that was when her body began contributing to the list. A hit of morphling would make all of her thoughts and pain vanish for at least a few minutes. The high would take away her ability to care about anything else. If she couldn’t have that- and obviously, she couldn’t -then she at least deserved some pain killers and a drink that wasn’t just water.

"Um, no," Farren forced herself to lie. "You pretty much already agreed to do it- what I need." She grasped the hem of her shirt and pulled it up to rub at her eyes. This only made the mess more obvious but at least she could see better now. "I think that’s it," she tried again, slightly more successful this time because her voice didn’t shake and she even managed momentary eye contact with Felicity. "It’s really messed up," she sighed once more, staring at the girl for another few seconds before she moved, crossing back to the nearest wall and leaning against it for support as she collapsed into a seated position on the ground. "It’s not your fault, okay?" This line was definitely directed at Felicity but it wasn’t like Farren to offer reassurance. She was actually more likely to assign blame than to absolve it. Dismissing that issue for the time being, Farren straightened her shirt out and then let both of her hands rest on her lap. It was then that she remembered the cut- the scarlet F that could have stood for ‘fate’ or ‘failure’ just as much as either of their names. Maybe she did need help after all. Pointing somewhat vaguely at her forearm, Farren looked at Felicity again. "I’m not going to be able to hide this." It sounded like an incomplete thought or, perhaps even a rhetorical question, but Felicity would know better than that. Farren shut her eyes and placed her friend in charge of finding the solution.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

It was hard to absorb the information. To accept that this really was Farren and she really was acting like this on her own. That wasn't to say Felicity thought of the girl as a bad person. But Farren had never been one for compassion. Passion yes, but more for being sympathized, than giving it herself. "Right.. sorry." Turning from the girl, Felicity took a moment to orient herself in the room. Walking to the small amount of medical supplies she began looking through them. It was the scene of discarded blades and an empty room of equipment that brought her mind back to that trap in the center. How Farren had set off the chain reaction and almost gotten herself killed. But this time Farren was the one slumped against the wall The one needing the medical supplies. It seemed so long ago that it had happened. but it had only been a couple of weeks. The marks from her injuries on that day hadn't faded and she doubted they would. But she still smiled at the memory. That had been a moment which confirmed her suspicions of Farren's decency. The girl had helped. It was only minor, but it was enough to make Felicity see her potential.

Brought back to reality at the sound of something hitting the floor, she blinked in surprise to see a bottle of something on the floor at her feet. Picking it up, she quickly placed it back on the side before grabbing the supplies she needed. With bandages, a small container of cream for the cuts, antiseptic and tape, she made her way to Farren. Kneeling beside the girl, she hesitated before laying the girls arm across her lap. Meeting her friends eyes she waited for some kind of sign before doing anything. Farren may be accepting help with death, but this may not be so easily accepted. It was confusing, the girls double standards and odd logic usually contradicting half of the words she uttered, but Felicity would never question it. Who was she to tell Farren how to think. After all, she wasn't the sanest person, it wasn't as though her ability to rationalize was all to great anymore. Picking up the small bottle of antiseptic, she dampened the corner of the cloth holding it just above Farren's arm for a moment. "Is this okay?"

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

At first, Farren felt only annoyance. It seemed that Felicity was ignoring the uncertainty she’d expressed about Jaxon’s actions in the arena and her inability to plan their next move. She listened anyway and kept herself quiet and attentive long enough to realize that Felicity was actually addressing another issue entirely, but one that was no less important to them. It hurt to see it pointed out: just how much she’d changed in three short weeks; but Felicity was right. Farren, the fearless and bloodthirsty Career, the girl who murdered Sugar Marin in a jealous power-struggle gone wrong, the tribute who would have volunteered had she not been chosen… She looked nothing like Farren now and she couldn’t even bring herself to be disappointed. She’d just chosen a far different path than the one she was supposed to want. Jaxon had managed to reach her heart and open it to accepting impossible things like help and love; but even before that, Felicity Clemente- a genius little nothing from District 3 -had managed to impress her in a way no Career would even think to attempt. That first meeting had opened her mind and maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing; it was just that she’d taken in far too much in such a small amount of time. Farren had always pushed her emotions aside even before she’d been instructed to do so. The things she’d felt in the training center- both good and bad -should have been spaced out over the years, the lifetime that she’d been denied. Instead, they hit her all at once and that was probably when she snapped. She’d never thought about it before, but Felicity’s story made it sound like she was equally damaged, just in a different way. While Farren had been used, abused, hurt and forced into all kinds of things, picking fights and causing trouble because she didn’t know how else to cope; her friend had faced loss, guilt, grief, uncertainty and even a sense of worthlessness. She’d lost a brother and even blamed herself for it. Farren tried to imagine what that would feel like and she frowned when she failed. If someone told her Talon had died, she probably wouldn’t even blink.

She’d never cared about anyone before. It hurt so much now that it was beginning to change. It was a damn miracle that she even cared for Jaxon as much as she did. She wouldn’t be able to explain it in words but she knew she’d rather die than let go of that connection or lose him. She used that concept to mentally put herself in Felicity’s place and tensed, struggling to suppress a gasp when she did. It hurt, not physically, but it somehow managed to get both her heart and her mind on the verge of panic. Felicity was still talking by the time she relaxed again and, of course, Farren was still listening. The girl had become her link to what was left of their collective sanity. Felicity helped and understood her better than anyone else, possibly even Jaxon. Everything she said now was both accurate and important. You asked me to prove myself, you asked me to help. You requested that I do something to justify each breath I took… Had she really said that? It sounded like good advice. Where had it been the first time she touched morphling? When she deliberately made enemies? Or when she actually tried to murder Jaxon? Farren you are absolutely necessary to me… For the first time in several minutes, Farren looked directly at Felicity in a weak attempt to meet her eyes. She couldn’t believe it. She was always going to be a victor but no one had ever told her she was important or irreplaceable before. Honestly, she wasn’t. Her district produced similar beauty and talent every single year. But she’d just met the two people who understood that perfection wasn’t the only thing that mattered.

I was a coward once. But there is no easy way out this time is there? Farren shook her head to agree with what was probably a rhetorical question anyway. If she could bring herself to speak, she’d only correct that statement to replace ‘no easy way out’ with ‘no way out at all’. I have to face it now, I only hope I can do what you ask. Facing it meant seeing all of the people she cared about die before her. It meant not only killing Farren but also having to watch her die and it meant accepting whatever Jaxon saw fit to do to her until it was finally over. Unlike Farren, she’d never cared about her rank in the Games or the way she’d be remembered when she died. It was so sad that it was almost funny. Felicity had come to the Capitol already broken and ready to give up. Farren had arrived with overconfidence and even excitement. They’d brought out the best and worst in each other and, now, with their time running out, they were finally on the same page: trapped, broken, inconsolable. Farren had no idea what to say or even if she could speak at all. Tears filled her eyes but, this time, she made no move to brush them away. She approached her friend with hesitance but finally came close enough to touch. Felicity’s hands were behind her back and her expression probably mirrored the sad desperation of Farren’s. The disgraced, fallen Career reached out to her in an unfamiliar way that somehow still felt right. Her arms wrapped tightly around the girl and Farren ducked her head down so it rested on Felicity’s shoulder. It was a hug, an embrace that spoke more words than her voice could even carry. It said, I’m sorry. I wish I cared more. I wish that, just this once, life could actually be fair. And, more than anything, it said, Thank you- for everything, my friend. My sister.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Felicity watched as Farren seemed to stare, not at her, but past here. It seemed to make sense that the girl was lost in thought. Felicity had given her a lot to think about, and she could only hope that it was indeed her suggestions that she was considering. She knew Farren. The girl could go from calm to enraged and violent in a matter of seconds. It was hard to predict at times, but she couldn't fault the girl for it. She too had shown her fair share of mood swings in the last few weeks. It was odd to think that she would have never shared anything like this with anyone. Not her mother, her siblings. Konno would still be unaware of how she felt for him and everyone would still think she was just Felicity. The girl who didn't have the word 'No' in her vocabulary. There was no one who she could talk to, not like this. And it surprised her to think that Farren, the girl who was able to terrify her so easily three weeks ago. The violent and self absorbed Career who had no consideration fro anyone else, would be the only person in the world she could ever share anything with.

It confused her, to think that the girl who stood in front of her now, tall and proud, with a beauty that betrayed the person within, would be the person that she was now. Seeing a sudden change in her expression, Felicity watched as Farren moved. Flinching, she closed her eyes ready for whatever punch or kick came her way. Prepared for another slap or painfully tight grip on her arm. It would be nothing the girl hadn't done before. But when the contact came, she realised there was all too much of it. And far too little pain. Opening her eyes she understood what was happening but now why. Farren was hugging her. Willingly. Slowly she relaxed, aware of the girls arms around her. Farren cared. Had she finally gotten the girl to understand. The threat of tears stung her eyes and she wasted no time in wrapping her arms around her friend, her head against her shoulder. It was both worrying and comforting to know that Farren had been the one to step forward. Felicity wasn't sure what to say, all she could think was that she had gotten through to her friend and now, she might understand just how much she meant to both her and Jaxon. 

She didn't want the embrace to be over, but at the same time she was aware of the small drops falling onto her own shoulder. Was Farren crying? Leaning back slightly, she rested her hands on the girls arms, looking her in the eyes. "Farren, sweetheart, are you alright?" Seeing the girls damp cheeks she stepped back, eyes flicking  to the table of supplies and then to her friend. "Do you need anything? I can get you some water, or maybe tissue. I'm sorry." Guilt, tugged at her and she felt her smile fade. If Farren was crying then it was obvious her words had been more upsetting than she had realised. Making her friend cry like this was not her intention. She had wanted her to understand her own worth and the idea of understanding another persons pain, but not like this. "I truly am sorry Farren. I did not mean to upset you. Please, is there anything at all I can do for you?" It was hard to see her friend so upset, someone who seemed to be like a sister to her so distraught and behaving so uncharacteristically. It was worry and guilt that now plagued Felicity as she stood, hands out in front of her uselessly, as she waited for some indication of how she might help.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

"Because I asked?" Farren repeated in a stunned whisper. It was probably the dumbest thing she’d ever heard and certainly the craziest thing Felicity had ever said. Farren liked to think that she had good leadership skills. She’d always planned on taking charge of a Career pack but that dream was slipping away to make room sacrifice and doubt. She sighed and decided against voicing her next objection: I could have asked you to jump off a bridge! There was a difference between loyalty and outright suicidal behavior. Was Felicity really so desperate to belong- to have a purpose? The girl didn’t have much self-preservation to speak of but this was something Farren couldn’t process. There was no debating the fact that Felicity had been a good friend to her: she’d gone above and beyond what friends were supposed to do. Felicity had taken everything Farren threw at her and she’d been nothing but supportive along the way. Only a few hours ago, Farren had acknowledged her mentally as a more of a sister than a simple acquaintance. But she couldn’t afford to get sentimental now. If she expected Felicity to kill her, then she would have to go into that fight at least pretending to have that same intention. When everyone else was dead and it came down to Farren’s ideal- inevitable -final three…

I’m supposed to suffer for them. Jaxon will make sure of that. Felicity’s statement jerked Farren back to the present reality. She frowned and it took her a few more seconds than it should have to fully comprehend the words. Her friend’s voice was too soft and hollow for her liking. There was nothing but flat honesty and that was practically heartbreaking. Neither of the girls could see the future but they knew this was a very likely outcome. Farren couldn’t even bring herself to argue against it. She shook her head at the girl’s tense, fearful apology. “No,” she murmured, sounding strained and distant again- hating herself for it. “You’re right.” Again. “They’re his friends too. I keep forgetting that.” She sighed and, for once, her sadness was entirely genuine. Farren had been selfish and clueless to think that Jaxon would only grieve and only kill for her. He’d left Felicity and Girl 12 for their own good but insisted on keeping Levi Shaw with the Career group. He knew, of course, that he couldn’t save them all, but it was just like him to try. Now how much would he resent the person who took them away from him? How badly would he hurt the one who ended it all? Farren shut her eyes and found herself shaking her head once more in response to Felicity’s next question. What next? She opened her eyes, disappointed yet unsurprised to find them watering. “No idea.”

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Felicity could only manage a small shrug in response to Farren's question. It at first, had confused her to think that the girl did not understand. But, after a moment of thought, it occurred to her that someone like Farren, brought up the way she was wouldn't understand it. Anyone who has seen so little tenderness, but such great sadness in their lifetime, even someone with as such an tragically short life as Farren, would not see her reasons to be valid. Sighing, she realised that further explanation was the only way she might even get Farren to understand just how much Felicity needed her, and how much she needed Felicity. "Yes, you asked. You. The girl I met three weeks ago would have barely spared a second to glance in my direction let alone ask someone below her for help. No she wouldn't have. She would have willed herself to carry on and remain strong in front of someone weak. But no, you asked me to help once. Directly, that is. Other times, you would need it and deny my assistance until you realised just how much you needed it. I was, and am, only too willing to help you. Everything I do, that I have done are acts of kindness, of friendship."

Stepping away from the girl, hands clasped behind her back she took a small breath before continuing. It was clear, that explaining herself was harder than she had first thought. Her own ability to get out the words lessening with each utterance. Saying these things was necessary, and though she disliked fueling further reactions from Farren, it had to be done, in hopes that the girl would she the meaning behind her words. "Three weeks ago you told me to prove myself. You threatened me, hit me, and told me to show you that I'm not just some kind of walking computer, that I have my uses. I showed you a trap, and you then said I may be of use. It was easy to see the hatred and I still see it now. I know you hate me, and I do not expect that to change. My friendship is something for you to accept, whether it is mutual matters not to me. I know I have been a nuisance, but I only wished to prove to you my use. I have helped you, in countless ways. I do not expect thanks, or favors in return. I wish to thank you."

"Farren I'm broken. I have been for a long time, coming here I thought I would loose it. Jace had been here and-" blinking back the threat of tears she cleared her throat, eyes on the floor as she spoke. "and then I met you. You intrigued me, your mindset, your actions. Then you gave me a chance to show you I could be useful I took it and have been trying to prove it since." It sounded stupid, pathetic of her to be so utterly dependent on the girl. But in a way, Farren had been her savior from herself, Felicity's own mind having damned her a long time ago. "So yes, it is because you asked. You asked me to prove myself, you asked me to help. You requested that I do something to justify each breath I took. And I can only hope that having helped you, to be helping as I am now, is enough to do so. Farren you are absolutely necessary to me, and now, with what you wish for me to do, I can only hope you understand why it is that I am hesitant. I do not wish to kill you. I fear my own self inflicted pain would hurt me more than Jaxon ever could. But I shall take it, it is my punishment for trying what I should not have tried. I was a coward once. But there is no easy way out this time is there? I have to face it now, I only hope I can do what you ask." 

The silence that settled between them was unnerving. Felicity had shared more with Farren there than she had intended, but she was growing accustomed to their rage and sentiment fueled outbursts. Though it was something she took no pride or joy in doing, it was needed. In hopes that Farren would know her reasons did hold some form of validity, that the sentiment was not just ramblings of an unsound mind. Smiling despite herself, she shook her head, looking up at the girl for the first time since beginning to speak. Felicity could only fear her reaction. Would her explanation anger her friend? Would it make Farren upset to hear that Felicity held such little self worth? No. No, that would never be the case, Farren after all had herself to prioritize. The girl was caring, in her own warped way at times. And she could never expect her to recognise that Felicity was as broken and cracked as she was. The two were broken, in different ways and though she expected no sympathy she was willing to give it to her friend. Felicity was only grateful Farren had been this was for a short time, new to the doubt and self berating thoughts. But Felicity was all too familiar. It had driven her far enough before. She could only hope that explaining, just how necessary Farren was to her, that it might help the girl fight her thoughts. Taking a measured breath she focused on her friend once more, clasping her hands behind her back, waiting for any kind of response.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

And here is your Photo Proof of Lia having left to go to sleep.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

Needless to say, Farren didn’t appreciate being pushed. Ten out of nine times, a move like that would provoke a violent response from her and this was no exception. She brought both hands level with her chest and shoved back, channeling a heavy, furious pressure into her momentary grasp on Felicity’s shoulders but the girl was almost too worked up to notice; too far gone to bother with the fight. Unlike Farren, she knew how to make her words have an impact and they served as a powerful counterattack. Farren had no choice but to listen for a minute. She was already livid and planning her retort- which was more likely to come from her fist than from her mouth -but a few of the more important words actually managed to sink in. It took her a few seconds to realize that Felicity had said "think for me" as opposed to "think about me." It made some ridiculous amount of difference and it only confirmed Felicity’s infuriating selflessness.

"No," Farren said finally. Her anger had dissolved into a more painful emotion: some odd mixture of numbness and devastation. She shook her head, making it even more obvious that she was frustrated and had no idea what to say. "You’re right," she hissed after a beat of tense silence. "I really don’t get it. Maybe-” she frowned and averted her eyes, staring at the knives in order to avoid Felicity’s gaze. Now it seemed like rushing upon any of the blades would hurt significantly less than maintaining eye-contact with this girl. “Maybe, if it was Konno, I could understand. ‘Cause you love him, right?” It wouldn’t be the same kind of love that Farren had for Jaxon. Hers was much rarer and more extraordinary than some bond between two smart, scared kids from the same district, but it mattered to Felicity and that was a decent enough reason for holding back. “But I don’t get the others. You can only save one person so…”

Why would you pick me over the people who are actually nice to you? Farren cut herself off there and it was a good thing she did. She’d been about to demand an answer: what made Felicity choose her over Boy Six and Girl Twelve? Or that other kid she hung out with? Farren couldn’t be bothered with names. They were really just obstacles now and she had to continue viewing them as such. This was precisely the reason why Careers couldn’t have friends. It was also why they were forbidden relationships but it was too late for that lesson. Farren groaned and forced herself to look at Felicity again. She redirected to a better point- a prompt that would be easier to address. “I’m the only person you have to kill, okay? If it’s that big of deal…” Farren made a display of rolling her eyes when she really just wanted to break down and cry; because she was tired, because, until today, she hadn’t even known it was possible to be exhausted emotionally. “Your friends probably don’t have to suffer.” There. That was nice. It was simple but it might be enough to convince Felicity that she cared… even though she really didn’t. Farren shook her head and sighed. This was just getting too complicated.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

The push Farren gave wasn't enough to knock her down and she barely noticed it while she spoke with furious indignation about how she wished Farren would comprehend what she was saying. From the silence that followed and the expressions that shifted, from annoyance and bemusement to frustration. It was there that she heard it and had to pause. Farren was agreeing with her? The concept alone shocked her, she had expected a self righteous claim of her already knowing that Felicity felt such things, so to hear the admittance of being ignorant was surprising. As she stood listening to the girl; she could see her logic and it was hard not to hear all the words the girl left unsaid.

It was right of Farren to say that everyone could only ever have one person to save. After all there would of course, be only one victor. but the tone and half finished sentence screamed at her what Farren was leaving unsaid. Why me. It was that realisation, that the girl didn't even understand why Felicity was willing to save her that made all of her anger dissolve. Sighing she shook her head, all of her earlier aggression now gone, a small sad smile on her lips. She met Farren's eyes watched the girl for a moment before answering the question she had never even spoken aloud. "You asked." It was simple, and held no context but it was the truth. "I need to be necessary. It keeps me sane. And you Farren, more than anyone else here you needed me. To abuse, to insult, to use to reassure yourself. I was also you way of avoiding total self destruction. And now? Now you are using me as a means to an end. And all of it is because you asked."

Her final few words stung, and Felicity stood with not real certainty of how exactly she should reply. What did one say when the girl you were preparing to kill, said that she wouldn't make your friends suffer when they died. Just what response was right. She suspected anger, but her earlier show of bravado left her far to emotionally drained for that. All she could manage was a sad small retort that she hadn't truly meant to voice. "I'm supposed to suffer for them. Jaxon will make sure of that." Realising the words were once she had said aloud she looked up and met Farren's eyes for a moment, before breaking the eye contact and looking away. Walking past the girl slowly, her arm light brushing hers she stumbled away as though the girl had burnt her like a hot iron. "Sorry." After a beat of silence she cleared her throat speaking once more. "What next?"

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

I do believe we should get back to training. Farren blinked a few times in momentary confusion but she was practically seething with rage by the time she figured it out. Felicity had recovered much too quickly and her odd, suddenly-authoritative tone hardly wavered. It meant that either Felicity was getting stronger or Farren was losing her touch, and neither of those points were encouraging. The Career curled both hands into fists on instinct. She scowled and, at one point, she actually let out a low hiss. Farren tried to think of a decent response to the insults that hurt her as if they had been physical blows. Words had never come easily to her unless they involved some combination of threats, lies and flirtation. She had just made the decision to lash out physically rather than verbally once more, but it was right then that Felicity stopped talking. I’ll handle myself, she’d said. Farren forced a smirk. The intent was obvious but her heart wasn’t in the expression. She took a step forward and pulled her right arm backward, preparing to strike. Just as she was about to take a swing, however, she halted, let her arm drop to her side, her fingers uncurl.

"I had one bite of ice cream, okay?” She snarled, stupidly and defiantly choosing to ignore the fact that the rest of it had been wasted in a childish tantrum. If she glared at Felicity with just the right amount of livid fire in her eyes, they would both have to ignore the fact that the ice cream had been the least-damaging substance she’d taken here, and therefore the only one she could comfortably address and defend. Pretending that they’d been actively debating this subject for some time (instead of trapped in a painfully tense silence), Farren senselessly spat out the words: “And that’s pretty bold coming from a District Three tribute. I know you, remember?” Farren adopted a mockingly sweet and girlish tone as she talked. She took another step, but this time she walked past Felicity as if the girl wasn’t even there. Her words had no particular meaning or course, but her feet now did. “I got a glimpse of the scared little girl you really are. If I didn’t want to die, there’s no way you’d be able to kill me.”

At the table of knives now, Farren picked up a familiar blade without even looking at it. “I’m damaged,” she admitted, letting some of the weakness seep out through her voice. Turning the knife over in her hand, she stared at her friend, unblinking until her eyes watered and seemed to scream in protest. This had to be perfect. It mattered more than any evaluation she’d get ever from Onyx or even from the Gamemakers. Now, more than ever, Farren needed to prove what she could do- and that she still had it. She wasn’t ready. The trembling and sudden ache in her left hand told her that but she shoved it in her pocket and forced her right to take aim. “But I’m not- I’m not broken,” she finished and, without warning, she sent the blade flying. Like she’d planned, it sped toward Felicity. As long as the girl held still, it would narrowly miss the left side of her face or, at best, her shoulder or upper arm. After that, it would sink into the target behind Felicity and- Farren prayed -stick, lodged deeply in the center of it. She held her breath and waited for a sound.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Felicity had stood, silently watching Farren as she took in her words. It was easy to see the girls upset and displeasure in hearing yet more criticisms. Not flinching as she stepped forward, fist raised, Felicity waited for the girl to hit her. From the hesitance she was already showing, she had doubts about Farren's impulsiveness. The doubts were only confirmed when the girl dropped her hand uncurling her fist. Smiling she tilted her head tot he side and spoke with the sweet tone that Farren hated so much. "Well I see you finally figured out how to not punch people. Now can you use your words?" Farren's response to the ice cream comment had her grinning, of course the girl had gone for the immature argument. Pushing past the idea and listening to the senteces that followed her smile slipped into a frown. By the time she had finished and Felicity had thought to respond Farren was walking past, grabbing a knife and turning to her with a scarily familiar gleam in her eye.

It wasn't the sight of Farren with the blade that had Felicity worried. It was her choice of words. Damaged, broken. It seemed the girl who had once been to quick to deny any problems, to claim that perfection for her was child's play, was now realising that she was human, that she had flaws. She hated admitting that the girl was cracked, that her once hard, flawless exterior was now splintered and stained. But Farren was someone who, even in the worst situations was fixated on her pride. If Felicity could try and take away some of that, the girl might see just how far she has come from who she used to be, just how lost she was and that despite everything she was still lost now. Farren needed a balance and Felicity only wanted to help her get that before it was too late.

Staying still, she watched as Farren moved, the blade flying towards her. But her mind was too focused on the girls words to respond to the actual threat. I got a glimpse of the scare little girl you really are. If I didn't want to die, there would be no way you'd be able to kill me. The anger kept her rooted in place long enough to hear the muffled thud. The second the knife was out of her way she stepped up to Farren and pushed her, annoyed and frustrated that Farren still hadn't got it. "All this time I have done nothing but tell you I'm afraid. That being a killer is what terrifies me more than anything else. But for god sake Farren I'm facing that fear for you. For my friend. I am doing all of this just for you because you don't give a damn about how much I hate this! I get it. You don't want the one person you give a damn about in pain. But for one second think, just think, for me, I have to face that risk, face that they will all die before me because I have to help you! I'm not just killing you Farren. I'm killing everyone else I love as well."

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

The moment Felicity grabbed her wrist, Farren automatically opened her hand and dropped the knife. She cringed at the slight thud of its impact on the wood floor. It wasn’t the sound that startled her, however, it was the realization. She’d been preoccupied wondering what Felicity meant her torn shirt to be used for, but it was worse than that. Her training and instincts would normally have her lashing out when she felt threatened. She would have used the knife, not let it slip from her bleeding hand. Where had she gone wrong? She’d been going downhill since arriving in the Capitol, but which particular decision had turned her from a heartless Career tribute into a girl so broken and so pathetically dependent on drugs and emotions? Farren pondered that impossible question while Felicity placed the makeshift bandage over her cut.

You’re mine, remember? Farren looked down when she felt Felicity’s finger tap something higher on her arm. The crimson F. At first, she couldn’t do anything but stand still and listen. The anger was there but this time it left her feeling numb and powerless rather than livid and ready to strike. A defiant ember stirred somewhere inside her but her sickness threatened to put it out. You don’t get to damage yourself. Was the girl being serious? Farren didn’t want to believe it. She wanted to scream, insisting that Felicity didn’t get to make the rules. Farren had made a mark just like that. She’d done it first and she’d done it better. Just because she planned to reverse their roles, just because she was trusting Felicity with her own life (and death), just because she had no other choice… that didn’t mean Felicity was suddenly in control of everything. Farren was still the leader. She was the one with the plan, the experience, the… what else did she have? An unfamiliar rush of panic sent Farren reeling. She staggered, disoriented, but managed to remain on her feet. But the damage was done. Felicity had let go of her arm but there was no way she’d missed this sight.

If we fight, you make it real. You hit me, I hit back, you tackle me and then you realise i have a weapon and before you know it, its too late. Got that? Farren was still too shaken to respond but there was a brief flash of the usual fire in her eyes. It got her thinking. Felicity had a point. If Panem was to believe she’d gone down fighting, Farren would have to bring it. She had to snap out of this- depression? numbness? whatever it was -and fight like fearless warrior she’d trained to become. Easier said than done. Farren held her breath to suppress a sigh. By that point, Felicity had redirected and issued an uncharacteristic taunt. The plan had been just enough to get through to Farren and the part of her that was still a fighter; but these words smashed through all that was left of the ice around her heart. It hurt and it was brilliant.

Farren blinked and when her eyes opened again, it felt like she was really seeing things for the first time in weeks. Everything was sharper, clearer. There was a slight red tint to her vision now but it suited her sudden fury so well. Farren put on a devious smirk that she didn’t have to force and she shook her head with a slow, sarcastic warning. “I don’t know who you think you are,” she began with a flat tone that didn’t suit what she was actually feeling. Without warning, she stepped closer and raised her bandaged hand to smack Felicity hard across her face. It stung Farren too. She’d even surprised herself with that move. Slapping was girlish and it didn’t produce half as much damage or satisfaction as a punch, but it had made sense at the time. Seething as she lowered her hand, she growled, “But you’re not killing me just yet.” That was good. It made her feel a sense of control and she had to keep it going. Scrambling for something her former self would have said, she managed to hiss at the girl: “Now we can get back to work, or you can get out of my sight, got it?”

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Felicity had seen Farren stumble as she let go of the girls arm, and it only made her feel worse for being so harsh. But this fight they were preparing for would be what killed Farren, and Felicity had to believe that at least some part of her still had a desire to live. Accepting that she was gone, a completely new and far more outwardly broken person having taken her place, was not an option. For a long time Farren's actions had been changing from those of the typical emotionally depraved Career, to someone who had a more damaged and warped view of the world than Felicity could ever have imagined. Many things made Farren Rogers strong; her past, her mindset and her abilities. But they were the same things that made her weak and the worst part wasn't that she did indeed have weaknesses like everyone else. It was that until now, she had not realised she had them. And facing them without that preparation had caused reactions like the self destructive behaviour.

Now stood, the smile she's worn only seconds ago having changed to a frown she consider the possibility of apologising. Yes, getting a rise out of Farren was important, trying to get the girl back to her instinctual self preservation from before was Felicity's priority. But going about it through insults and snide remarks was not like her. Sighing and meeting the girls eyes once more, Felicity prepared to say the apology that she'd been contemplating when she felt the sharp contact on the side of her face. Her head knocked by the power behind the blow she stumbled. Regaining her composure enough to stand, she forced herself to keep her hands at her side and simply look at Farren for a moment. The reaction was not one she and expected, but it was enough to put a smile on Felicity's face. Farren was in there, that fighting spirit was still within her. Maybe, if she pushed the girl enough a little more might show, and Farren might push her back, prove that giving up wasn't as simple as she had convinced herself it would be. It was a risk, but a risk she had to take.

Smiling she nodded. "Alright. Now that you got your little display over with, I do believe we should get back to training." Walking over to the mat, placed on the floor in the corner she turned to Farren, hands on her hips. "Well are you going to train. I'm sorry to say sweetie, but you need it as much as I do." She paused for a moment, knowing that no matter what she did now Farren would be in a position to want to aggravate her back, or at least prove herself. The girls pride made it slightly easier to anticipate responses and in this situation, it helped. "You've let yourself get lazy. I mean, with the sword you stumbled and almost slipped, the knife you didn't even fight back. And a moment ago you stumbled for a second time. It's safe to say that between the lack of practice and the ice cream you aren't doing to great. So how about you show me just what you would do if we didn't have a weapon. Think of it this way. The more I know, the less you have to worry about protecting me. I'll handle myself." She hoped it was a strong enough argument to both get Farren's agreement, as well as the expected anger from the continued insults. It wasn't the greatest method for her to use, and definitely not the nicest, but it seemed to be working and right now she needed Farren to fight.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

Why? Farren couldn’t be sure if it was a question or a protest but, either way, the word echoed over and over again in her mind until she wanted to scream it. Just how stupid could Felicity be? She had Farren’s permission to kill her by any means: any weapon, any poison, any trap. There was no reason for her to want to keep training. Farren was beginning to hate herself for suggesting it in the first place. She didn’t deserve to call herself a Career anymore. She was giving Felicity an advantage, but just barely. The girl’s guilt would cripple her. So it wouldn’t come down to being physically and mentally prepared to take a life, it all rested on Felicity’s emotions and whether or not she could set them aside just in time to die alongside her (best?) friend. "Hit me." What? It was a different question this time but Farren was still on the verge of screaming when she heard the request- or had it been an order? Farren couldn’t help it. She shut her eyes and failed to think about anything other than the roof. Hit me, she’d begged Jaxon- literally begged him -I need to know that you can. He’d failed- at least by her standards, he had. It was just another piece of evidence that proved he was an infinitely better person than she could even aspire to be. The difference between him and Felicity was that Farren knew what Jaxon was capable of, but the girl from Three continued to surprise her in their every encounter. Now what was Farren supposed to say? I don’t want to? Ha! Onyx would have laughed at her. She wouldn’t even be surprised if Felicity did too. It wasn’t the thought of violence that had her so hesitant: hurting things was her primary instinct and one of her few talents; No, it was the way Felicity looked to her: so pathetic, so broken yet, somehow, still so determined to keep going. She looked like… Me, Farren finished mentally. She could hardly believe it. The girl she’d once assumed to be the weakest had turned out to be stronger, smarter and more worthy than she could have imagined. Felicity would never see it and Farren would never admit it out loud but she was beginning to understand the reasons they had to be envious of each other. What they had in common, however, was a shared fate, and a limited amount of time to see it executed in just the right way. With that in mind, she formed a fist. Her other hand held the blade Felicity had used on her. She’d only just now realized it was there. Sharp objects always felt right in her hands but that wasn’t what Felicity had asked for, and besides, Jaxon wouldn’t approve. Farren laughed sardonically under her breath at that thought. Pretty much every plan she had for the rest of her life (or, realistically, for the next five days) would go against his wishes and be kept secret from him. She could worry and apologize later. For now, she had to focus on the current objective.

Without even realizing it, she tightened her hold on the blade and let it slip just slightly so its sharp edge rested against her palm. She wasn’t cut yet but the possibility of that pain somehow fueled her. It was the perfect combination of fear and determination. Maybe her trainer really had been on to something. She forced herself to think about the things she hated. Primarily, the rules of the Game she’d never escape. Her whole life had led up to this. With her eyes wide open (it wouldn’t be fair to keep them closed and pretend the girl before her was any other person), Farren lashed out with her closed fist. Usually, she’d go for the face right away. It made sense to get an opponent disoriented, even better if you did some damage to the eyes. But she was used to fighting Jaxon. In a split second, she redirected, bent slightly at the knee and punched Felicity hard in the stomach. Farren’s goal was to get the girl to fall, to struggle for breath, to regret ever asking for this and to never ask again. Only the most messed up people (like Farren) would beg for that sort of assault. Farren’s hand was shaking as it opened and slowly returned to her side. A thin streak of blood was visible on her other hand. The knife had bit down. Good. Weak girls deserved to suffer. Farren couldn’t bear to look at Felicity. She feigned a sudden concern for her two slight injuries and just waited for some response.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

For a long time Farren was silent and it took all of Felicity's patience to not stop the girls thoughts by demanding she get on with it. This was probably the first time Felicity was asking for abuse consciously. That she wasn't just 'making' Farren do it. The fact that Farren seemed both unresponsive and what she hoped was simply contemplative of the idea could be both good and bad. Farren, not seeing the twisted enjoyment thanks to having asked for it, or thinking too far in terms of what 'hit me' meant. She was doubting Farren's ability to do what she had asked. The girl had seemed off of her game all day. Each small defensive act soon crumbling when pushed and her acts had been lacking their usual violent nature. The girl had definitely not been herself. And her expression showed more puzzlement than anything else. Felicity was ready to offer confirmation, to encourage the action but a part of her hesitated. The part that questioned Farren's self destructive mindset.

The way she held the blade and the low laughter that escaped her, had Felicity worrying more that Farren was thinking far too laterally about the task Felicity had put to her. Her trust, though a very fragile and hesitantly given thing, towards Farren made her stop. The girl could do it, and she would do only what was asked. Felicity shifted her gaze to the floor for a moment, feeling guilty in her momentary doubt of the girl. That's why it came as such a shock when she felt the air escape her and she doubled over, supported by Farren's arm for only a second after the punch. Tightening her arms across her stomach she coughed and struggled to take deep breaths, the pain and the inability to coordinate just how to breathe making it hard. Slowly she forced herself to straighten, ignoring the pain. Nodding she forced a small, partial smile before noticing Farren's hand and the knife, putting the two pieces together. 

Frowning, she stepped forward, taking the hem of her shirt and ripping it. Grabbing the girls wrist and holding it, Felicity was careful when she wrapped the material around the cut, ignoring any and all of Farren's protesting. The girl was not going to hurt herself while Felicity was still her. Holding her arm out straight, she pointed to the F that was still red against Farren's skin. Shaking her head she met the girls eyes. "You're mine remember. You don't get to damage yourself. That's my job. No more self destruction of any form." Dropping her hold on the girl, Felicity stepped back, her tone hiding her own self disapproval of the words. She hated being like that, but it got through to Farren which was more than all her I'm sorry's ever did. Smirking she crossed her arms and forced a nonchalant tone as her eyes moved over the girl before meeting hers again.

"If we fight, you make it real. You hit me, I hit back, you tackle me and then you realise i have a weapon and before you know it, its too late. Got that?" She didn't wait for an answer.  Forcing a small dry laugh she shook her head , "You know it's funny. I  remember you actually hitting harder than and 4 year old. I guess I was mistaken. I'll let my brother know he can out punch a career. Honestly Farren, I could do better." Now Felicity was asking for a reaction. She wanted Farren to hit her. The pain would only give her something to draw upon in the future, to remember in the arena when she would need to finish it. Something to make her upset, to anger her enough to land a fatal blow. Her power came from pain, emotional and physical. Until Farren tried to hit her, until she actually fought back Felicity would through comment after comment, etch away at her control. She wanted the girl to be more like her old self in terms of preservation. Jaxon had to think it was real and Farren had to try. Felicity could never do it unless it was enough to fool her too, even for a moment. It was the only way.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

The way that Felicity recoiled wasn’t promising. Was she already regretting her promise. This was, after all, the second time she’d made it. It was only natural that she seemed wary of Farren. Making that mark had to the the dumbest decision of her life. She was probably just realizing how lucky she was that Farren had seen the message for what it was. The two words she whispered had been sincere. It was the closest she’d come to expressing actual gratitude toward her friend but the reason behind it seemed much too twisted to be a cause for celebration. There was an awful taste in Farren’s mouth: something dry and much too sweet, like the after taste of her ice cream. Far too late, she was beginning to wonder if her instructors were right. If she’d only stayed on the idea Career path, she would still be throwing knives without a moment’s hesitation, her veins would hold nothing but blood and her heart… Farren cringed at the thought. It would still be frozen and practically nonexistent, but at least she’d be on her way to Victory. Until she met Jaxon and Felicity, it had been the only goal she ever had. It didn’t seem possible that giving it up was easier than accepting the possibility of life without them.

Felicity seemed just as strained and conflicted. Farren struggled to understand why that was. A possibility hit her and she went with it. “I won’t make you train anymore,” she began, carefully emphasizing each word to make sure they could be understood through the weak rasping tone she’d suddenly adopted. “You’ll think of something that can work… I-I know you can.” This encouragement was meant for Farren herself just as much as it was for Felicity. That thought was the only thing keeping her going now. It was good to know that this pain would die with them but it hurt so much more in the meantime. She wouldn’t be able to face Jaxon later, knowing what she planned to do to him; but she had no choice. It was important to keep up the pretense for his sake… and to cherish every last moment they had, because time was truly running out. Farren rubbed at her eyes but, thankfully, no tears came. She kept her eyes on Felicity, tempted to ask what they should do now but it was obvious that the girl was just as lost- possibly more so. She shifted her eyes to stare at the discarded blade instead and let the overwhelming silence fill the room while she waited for the ambition- or the order -to move from that space.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

The sound of Farren's voice was enough to bring her focus back into the room. To make her thoughts stop making her mind wander and instead focus on what actually mattered. Unfolding her arms she reached out, her hand only just touching the girls. It was barely even contact but it was all that Felicity was able to bring herself to do. Shaking her she made herself meet Farren's eyes, angrily wiping away the tears. "No." her voice was small. For all she knew the word hadn't been said at all that she had merely mouthed it but no sound came. Swallowing the lump in throat that seemed to make it hard to breathe let alone speak she willed herself to continue her expression hopefully portraying what little determination she had. "no. We-we can't... I have to! You need to tell me to.." The more she tried to say it, the harder it became the more frantic she felt. Her hand slowly curling to grasp the girls arm she looked at Farren, her anxiety and panic rising.

Then it came to her. The one way to get across what words couldn't. Without letting go of the girls arm, Felicity reached for the knife pressing the handle into the girls hand. "Hit me." the request would no undoubtedly lead to some confusion but Felicity couldn't get the words out. She needed to train. Needed to know she could do this without causing Farren pain. To make it as quick and perfect as possible. Farren had originally at least promised that to her. That when she was to die it would be as painless and quick as she could make it. But then, that had been because she didn't consider Felicity worth her time. Instead, it was now out of consideration for the girl. If it looked real, if no one could doubt her skills, then it made sense that Farren might lose. This would after all be a performance for them both. To Jaxon, to their families, their districts and the rest of Panem. Felicity was almost desperate as she curled the girls fingers around the knife. She looked from Farren, the blade and the equipment rapidly. She had to know, had to be able to see for herself that she could do it and do it well. Farren would not feel pain, or at least not much, it was the least she could give her friend.

Forcing herself to stand, she ignored her own uneasiness. Pushing the sickening ache in her muscles to the back of her mind she grasped Farren's free hand in both of hers as she tried to pull the girl up with her. Yes she was exhausted, yes all she really wanted was to go to her room and allow herself to snap. To tell herself that she was the biggest idiot who had ever lived and carry on from their. The berating comments and insults getting steadily worse as the time past until her own self hate would be enough to make her go to Konno, where in his embrace she could feel comforted even if he would never know why she was so upset. Looking over her shoulder at the weapons once more she tugged at Farren's hand and looked at the girl before falling to her knees. "Please. You have to. Hit me." In order to hit something, she would first need to have the motivation, something to make her feel anything side from emotional pain. If she could just understand the physical side of it for a second then trying to cause it to someone else would be easier. It would make sense. "Hit and tell me why. Why you like it. Please."

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

The blade that Felicity picked up was barely even worth noting. Farren had more than one switchblade twice its size hidden in her room. If the girl wanted a fight, she wouldn’t get more than a few cuts from that thing. But what Felicity actually did was start toward the door. Farren shut her eyes for a moment. She wouldn’t even bother calling after the girl this time. She doubted she had the energy. Her eyes snapped open when she felt a sudden pressure on her throat and a firm, determined hold on her arm. This kind of position was difficult to get out of but Farren could manage as long as she could use- The sound that escaped her was somewhere between a pained sob and a defeated sigh. She wanted to scold herself for letting this happen but she was falling. It wasn’t until she found her arm and shoulder pinned down flat on the floor that she even realized who had done this. Some part of her still wanted to deny it. Felicity wasn’t a fighter- she was smart but she couldn’t overpower a Career. And yet here they were. Farren stared up at the girl, lying still and barely breathing. It occurred to her that she still had use of her lower half and a limited range for her other arm to do some damage but she bit her lip and vowed to save it for the moment she actually felt threatened. This was probably just another trick: a trap, a mindgame. It had to be. As the girl spoke, each word made that harder to believe. Felicity meant it, that much was obvious but the mystery for Farren was what the girl was actually going to do. Farren wanted to protest that Felicity was going to die anyway so it didn’t matter if she felt damned or destroyed, but, for once in her life, she kept her mouth shut and waited- not patiently, but with a sense of dread that made her want to freeze this moment, no matter how much it sucked, just so she wouldn’t have to live through the next few minutes. Felicity, meanwhile, had gone from sad and dramatic to downright frightening. Farren had never guessed she had it in her. Once again, she wanted to scream that suicide could never be the answer because it meant giving up without a fight- but wasn’t that exactly what she intended to do? Holding her breath for a few seconds, Farren tensed at Felicity’s final statement. She could see the small blade and watched it closely through the corner of her eye. There was small pinprick of pain on her forearm, around the spot where the knife was held. Even so, she exhaled and blinked several times before she even made the connection. It didn’t hurt- at least not in comparison to the wounds she’d had in training and the scar she’d given herself all those years ago. The eerie sensation was like her skin was being stretched and pinched at the same time, but just slightly, just enough to be felt. That was until she felt the first few drops of moisture. What was that? Sweat? Water? Felicity let her go. She backed off and curled up as if trying to comfort herself. Farren took the opportunity to admire the handiwork. She’d been stupid thinking this girl could kill her. This was just a little blood. If the cuts left scars, they would barely be noticable. Farren sat up with her back to Felicity. She turned her arm over her mouth opened in a silent scream. She was shocked and furious, wasn’t she? Who the hell did Felicity think she was? She didn’t get to do this stuff. Didn’t she know there was a reason why Farren got away with it? Didn’t she say something about hating violence and…

Farren looked up at the sound of sobbing and her rage subsided in a moment of confusion. She looked over her shoulder and finally turned to face the girl, sliding a little closer to her. The small blade was on the floor between them and she was so tempted to reach for it. There were dozens of better weapons barely ten feet away but she couldn’t stand the thought of movement just yet. Maybe she would fall if she stood. Maybe she’d do something even worse… Farren stared at Felicity. She tried to make sense of it but she was on the verge of tears herself. What had she told the girl when she gave her this same mark? Felicity had called it a brand, right? And just today she’d said… marking me as your kill. Farren’s heart skipped a beat. She was shaking but this had more to do with her emotional agony than anything the withdrawls had done to her. She took several attempts but she finally managed the two words she deemed necessary. She had to make Felicity understand. She had to make sure this was it. Despite what they meant to each other or to anyone else, they would go through with this. She let the blood drip onto the floor without a care. It wasn’t that bad, it would stop soon, right? Her voice was raspy and so muffled that she barely even heard herself speak, but hopefully Felicity had registered the line. Farren wouldn’t be able to say it again: “Thank you."

[felicity-clemente-d3]

No, no, no, no, no! That had not been what she'd intended. Yes, she had wanted to scare Farren, show her she wasn't afraid to threaten. But now, seeing the all to familiar mark on the girls arm, she just felt sick. She had done that. Sitting there, Felicity stared at her hands feeling nothing but disgust. Her intent had been to show Farren she could hurt her, but the brand, that mark she loathed so much, was not what she had wanted to go with at all. By doing that, by giving Farren, someone who she considered a sister, someone who was always too close to the edge, at risk of falling off, she had in turn pushed herself off instead. Now what? Balling her shaking hands into fists she crossed her arms, hiding them from view. All that she had told Farren, each and every word nothing but an innermost thought she had never really intended to share. And now they were out. Her anger, fear, reluctance. It was all there, explained and now she felt like she was naked. As though those thoughts and secrets had been some kind of shield. By not telling anyone or sharing she had protected herself. And now it was out, the words that had once been so private had all been said and in front of none other than the girl who seemed to generate them more than anyone else.

Farren Rogers the girl from District One, who had done nothing but terrorize Felicity throughout their time, was the one person she felt had never given her sympathy. Oddly enough she was grateful. Farren made her face that cold hard truth. Not everyone is willing to give you a free pass. They won't care about your past, your fears or your upset. If somethings is expected of you then you have nothing but and obligation to meet that expectation. Yes, this girl had single-handedly give Felicity more nightmares than she cared to count. More bruises and cuts then all her childhood stumbles put together and more fears than your average phobic. But now she had a better sense of duty. An understanding of how cowardly she had been and how weak she was being now. How harsh her actions were was unsettling and all she could do now was sit and shake as the tears continued to fall.

Stopping seemed impossible. Each time she tried to rationalize the thoughts, tell herself that the mark was a good thing she only ended up hating herself more for trying to make it better. She was trying to take away her own guilt and despite her own desire to be free of it, she was painfully aware that she was to bear the guilt and the fear of this now. What she was going to do, and had done were actions of a killer. And killers to her, had the expectation to bear shame for taking another life. Felicity was no better than any of the others who had killed, so why should she tell herself she was right doing it. Her own mindset would never let her deny the guilt and it was that guilt, that would take over and make her snap the weight of it already taking its toll. She had given her self hate a name, made herself understand and now it was winning. "Thank you." the two words were small, but as she looked up and saw the girl, saw how close Farren was she couldn't help but move back too ashamed to let herself near her. Staring for what seemed far too long she forced a small nod, wiping away the tears. It didn't help, more took their place and she gave up resting her head against her knees. Everything hurt and she had no idea why. She just wished the thoughts would stop. Farren seemed happy, satisfied in the meaning behind her actions. That was what she had wanted right? To make Farren happy. But why wasn't that thought enough to take away the sickening feeling in her gut that everything she had done, or would try to do would end in nothing but regret.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

The kick to her knee hurt so much more than it should have. Farren swore that this was only because she hadn’t been prepared for it. Of all the things Felicity could have done for revenge, initiating a physical fight seemed ridiculously unlikely. The hand on her shoulder kept Farren from collapsing entirely but her leg bent in response to the shock and she ended up pressing most of her weight on that injured knee. She straightened as quickly as she could but, by then, she was already gritting her teeth against the pain and fury, because the tables had turned. As much as she hated it, she knew that Felicity was right: she needed the girl’s help and this was the only time she’d been able to admit it. Maybe friendship had been the wrong term to describe what they had, but Farren had only just realized what she was throwing away. Felicity was the only person she could trust, the only one who truly cared about her aside from Jaxon. And Jaxon didn’t count because she was planning to lie, betray and then die in front of him. It took Felicity’s words for her to see how much that was going to hurt all three of them.

The whole time the girl was speaking, Farren opened her mouth several times but the words died on the tip of her tongue. She couldn’t think of a single objection worth voicing. As much as the truth hurt and as humiliating as those words were, she couldn’t do anything to change them. One hundred and One ways to ignore everything you’ve ever learnt and get yourself killed. Felicity was on to something but Farren could imagine a more appropriate title: One Thousand Ways To Disappoint Your Trainer, Biological Father, Sponsors, the Only Friend You’ve Ever Had and the Only Man Stupid Enough to Love You. Or, in short: A Thousand Ways to Die. It would have made perfect sense if she only knew how to write it down. There probably were a thousand options to choose from but Farren was only open to one possibility- her plan that had seemed so perfect only minutes ago. When had she become such an idiot? If she’d never challenged Jaxon, she wouldn’t have lost. She wouldn’t be hooked on Morphling now and she sure as hell would never have fallen in love with him. Was she really prepared to throw away years of training and everything she thought she was for him?

Felicity’s rant seemed to be coming to an end. The girl was backing off and Farren knew she didn’t have much time to convince the girl of anything. She forced herself to think fast. She wasn’t the only tribute here who’d willingly throw her life away for someone important. She hated when she reminded herself of the Mockingjay because the only time she’d ever dream of defying the Capitol would still end in her willing, inevitable death- certainly not in Rebellion. Farren kept her eyes on Felicity but this time she didn’t reach out forcefully. She managed a pathetically small string of words and vowed to follow the girl if she had to, as long as Felicity would hear this part out. “It’s not just about me," she said with more strength and resolve than she actually felt. “Felicity," she snapped, trying to step in front of the girl and find a moment of eye-contact. The sincerity would be there for anyone who bothered to look. “I mean it, could you look Jaxon in the eyes and tell him what you just told me? I don’t want to live without him. I wasn’t even living in the first place and I don’t even know how to…" she paused and gave an awful dry sobbing sound. “Killing me would destroy him." She stood her ground and gave her final statement. It wasn’t a threat, it wasn’t a plea: it was a fact. “Maybe you think we should go with the alternative. Maybe you’re right. I know for a fact that I could kill him if I had to, but what’s even scarier is that I know he wouldn’t hesitate to die- or even kill himself -for me." That was it, all she could manage. Farren moved a few steps over so she could lean against the wall rather than collapse onto the floor. She was exhausted in every possible way but especially in her mind. If Felicity was truly out- if she’d really lost her… Farren would find someone else, but first she’d have to seek out a certain drug.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

When Farren stopped her again, she wanted to say that it was a waste of her breath to try and argue. That she wasn't going to listen to any more feeble excuses or double standards. But the tired, heavy tone of the girls voice told her that the words she was voicing, were ones weighted, ones that Farren would only say in desperation or despair. Right now, it seemed like both were creating an added tone of need to their conversation. She stood there, and watched as Farren spoke, the way she moved, the pauses, intonations everything screamed sincerity but the girl still didn't understand. Despite Felicity's obvious upset, her distaste at he idea, her complaints of doing nothing but caring and being needed as a tool and nothing more. After every hint she could possibly give, Farren still hadn't caught on. Shaking her head she stared as Farren leant against the wall looked defeated. Turning away from her towards the table of knives she picked up a small thin slip of a blade.

She paused there, looking at the blade carefully. What she was considering, what she was about to do would change everything. It would take away her discomfort in Farren's eyes and mark her as a willing killer. But what else could be done. How else could she show Farren she cared than to do the one thing that Farren desired she do most. Walking back over the the girl, she made it seem like she was heading to the door, but a few steps short she turned and moved to the girl, one forearm going against her throat while she pulled out the girls arm with the other.  Kicking Farren's foot out from under her, Felicity let the girl fall as carefully as possible. As soon as she was on the floor, she put her knee on Farren's shoulder lightly, holding her arm out flat on the floor by the wrist. With her free hand she pressed the tip of the blade against the girls skin, finally meeting her eyes.

"You still don't understand do you. I can't believe it. You just had the answer right there and you still don't see it." She shook her head and suppressed the urge to laugh. "Killing you would kill me. It would destroy what little sanity I have left. Each time, each and every single time I argued that I didn't want to hurt you, that I cared. Did none of it tell you anything? Farren, you know.. you know I lost my brother to these stupid games. That took more of me than anyone will know. More than I care to admit. It's the same with you. I'm scared. Terrified of how much I care about you. You're like a sister to me. I need you to get out. I can't bear to lose another sibling. I can't. I do that and I may as well have died over a year ago before any of this. All this time I thought I was alive because i was supposed to help. I don't think you understand how impossible it is for me to accept being wrong about that. I admit that I'm here to help you die, then I admit I'm nothing but a killer and I already feel responsible for too many lives. My brother, my father, Konno. You. Everyone else I love and care about. All I do is feel guilty all the time. Why do you think I take so much from everyone, why I'm so weak and pathetic." Blinking back the tears she tried to ignore the brittle tone in her voice. Each word sounded more like a sob than a coherent sentence. "But you need my help and that's all I'm here for right? To be a means to an end. I'm going to hell, there I'll face everything I have tried to run from. Eternal torment and pain. If I kill you, then that's it. I won't even be worth killing, I'd do it myself. It wouldn't be an honorable death for me. It would be what I deserve. The shame of being known as a quitter, or being weak.  That's all I deserve!" As her voice rose she pressed he tip against Farren's skin and drew the blade down in precise motions. Looking away she didn't waver as her hand shook slightly. Finished, she dropped the blade and sat back, drawing her knees against her chest as the tears fell. Through blurred vision she could see the red against the white of Farren's arm and one thought passed through her mind. What have I done?

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

Taken aback and momentarily too stunned to speak, Farren had no choice but to stand still and listen to the girl. Felicity sounded even crazier than she had and that was impressive. Farren didn’t think she’d ever heard the girl say anything remotely like this before. Felicity wasn’t even the type to raise her voice, but here she was shouting that angry, stupid rant and going back on her promise. When Felicity finally shut her mouth, Farren recovered her mobility in the same instant she also found her voice. She seized the girl by placing a firm hand on her shoulder and jerking it backward. She leaped forward and stepped in front of the girl, knowing she could make her stay in the room, especially if it came down to a physical fight. “I can’t do suicide," she growled, vowing to explain this in as few words as possible so they could get back to work without either of them having to cry anymore. “You don’t get it. If I kill myself, they’ll hate me forever. They’ll use me as an example of what not to be." For the first time in her life, she gave a moment’s consideration to her half-brother Talon. He’d be compared to her forever. Farren cringed internally at the thought. She couldn’t stand to be remembered in a negative light. But the Final Three was a bearable alternative. Everyone who watched, including her own trainer, would believe that she’d honestly done her best. They would think that if she’d competed at eighteen, rather than fifteen, she could- and would -have won. “Someone else has to kill me and Jaxon has to see it- everyone has to see it! That’s how it’s going to go. And you’re already in- you promised!" On the off-chance that the reminder of their agreement wasn’t enough to bring Felicity back to her senses, Farren added a bitter, sarcastic murmur. “Some friend you are."

[felicity-clemente-d3]

 The force of Farren's grip on her shoulder made her stumble back a step. Glaring at the girl, she pushed her hand off her shoulder and righted herself. So now Farren stood between her and the door. She was an obstacle but unfortunately she was one that could talk. Stood there she heard the girls words but she no longer had the patience to truly listen. Felicity was upset, Farren was hanging her brothers death over her in multiple ways and each time it was the equivalent of a bulldozer digging up Jace's grave. From the emotion in Farren's voice and her expression, Felicity figured the girl was being honest, but it was pointless. There was no way she would help after that. Shaking her head she prepared to step around the girl and carry one when the final four words hit her. Some friend you are. It was disgusting how low Farren was stooping. The girls manipulation tactics worked before, playing on Felicity's sympathy from time to time but this was so obvious and insincere it was insulting. Stepping up to the girls side, Felicity gave one quick kick to the back of her knee before placing her hand on Farren's shoulder holding the girl tightly.

"You really have nothing, absolutely nothing that will make me want to help you. Farren you should be used as an example. After everything you trained for, everything you supposedly desired becoming so close it was practically guaranteed, you gave up. Somehow I don't think that constitutes being a good example. Alcohol, Drugs, Relationships. Three things that I am almost certain are unadvised by trainers and frowned up in any of the Career districts." Shaking her head and pushing the girl away from her lightly she laughed, the sound seeming odd. "Heck Farren, you should write a guide. One hundred and One ways to ignore everything you've ever learnt and get yourself killed. Hey it could be a series. Farren's guide to Sex, Drugs and Birth Control! You're an idiot. Happy? I finally admitted that despite your semi intelligent ideas, you are an absolute moron." Pushing her hair back from her face she looked at the girl, she felt bad saying it, being mean like this. But Farren had gone too far too many times.

"Friends. Right. Something you decided we were just before the arena. The entire time we have been here I wanted to help you, maybe get along. I took every punch, every insult, every request and I did so without question. You've had my help and before now it was never enough. Never what you felt you 'needed'. Well guess what. Now I'm calling out everything I did for you and laying it all down. Because I give up on you. You didn't want my help before, so I'm going to assume you don't want it now. Get it now Farren? You either kill yourself, kill him, or let him kill you. Think of it this way, at least you can have a dramatic death. You'll be remembered. Just like you wanted." Bitter, angry and tired she turned away from the girl hesitating for a moment as she stood her back to Farren. God, did she want to turn around and take it back, she wanted to help but the girl had gone too far and a part of Felicity, a much more dark and angry part of her knew Farren needed to hear what she was saying. The girl needed a wake up call. Something to scare her, to victimize her after everything she had done to Felicity. That part of her wanted, needed Farren to suffer, to see her stumble again. It made her feel powerful and it scared her. Taking a step towards the doors she pushed the thoughts aside, focusing on the exit instead. A few more steps and was she home free. Farren free.

[felicity-clemente-d3]

A Thousand Ways To Die || Farracity

[farren-rogers-blog]

"In a sec-" Farren cut herself off with a sudden rush of furious disbelief. She’d been trying to think of a good way to teach knife-usage but all of her training in that area had been practical, hands-on. For the most part, she learned by doing it, not by studying someone else’s technique or reading books about said weapons. She always just tried things until something felt right or until her trainer offered a simple nod to say she’d done it correctly. Now, Felicity had just pushed her even closer toward the possibility of a violent outburst. “What did you just say?" She hissed. “Don’t rush me, okay? I’m the one who knows what to do. I’m the one who’s running out of time!" She snapped, feeling the threat of tears in her eyes. She rubbed them and forced herself to think of angry, hurtful things to say rather than sad and personal ones. “I’m letting you kill me. That’s a damn honor, Felicity! You get to outlive all of the Careers and they’ll remember you for that- for killing me. So who cares if you die?" Farren stood rigid but she was ready to move at a moment’s notice. Her hands were curled in tight fists just like Felicity’s as her insane, venomous rant continued. “You still get to outlive most of us: me, Levi, Girl 12, Torrin and his worthless sister…" Farren came to a sudden stop but she recovered quickly and smirked with a truly spiteful notion. “Hell," she said with a suspiciously calm tone. “You even make it farther than your stupid brother did. So tell me, Felicity, what’s th-"

[felicity-clemente-d3]

Felicity hated this. She hated being expected to stand and take what ever spiteful comment Farren shoved her way. That she had no choice but to be understanding because this was Farren. She was impulsive, rude and had no care for others feelings and if you didn't like it then too bad. But she'd had it. She was about to say something, taking a step forward when she heard Farren's words and what she wanted to say changed completely. "SHUT UP!" She was surprised at her self. Never had she heard herself say anything as loudly as she did those two words. But she didn't stop there, stepping up to the girl she pushed her back as she spoke outraged and upset by her carelessness. "You had no right. You horrid, ignorant little brat. I don't care that I survive for a little while. I already told you I can step off that platform from the beginning. You need me, not the other way around. Everyone else can live, if you want to die so bad then step of that platform and do it yourself. Have the guts to bring no one else down with you. Because Farren you sure as hell have dragged me to hell with you whether I kill or not." Feeling the hot tears fall down her cheeks she only got more annoyed. Why did she have to break down in front of Farren. Always in front of her. Without thinking it through, she brought her hand up, slapping Farren and glaring at the girl. "You don't deserve my help. My brother died in that arena. I lost him and I will never, never forgive you for hanging that over my head. You have no right too. He was my brother and I lost him because some stupid Career, like you, wanted to have an honorable death." Stepping back she shook her head, looking at the girl with disgust before wiping the tears from her face and turning away. "Screw you Farren Rogers. Kill yourself because I quit. I'm out, I'm done."