Zel @ilikegaydndshit - Tumblr Blog

Masterlist

A place for all my actual posts. Since I rarely do that & mostly reblog

Also here is my AO3 account!

The fandoms lie below the cut

mothmandrivesstudebakers

sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

Three things:

I am glad that in 2026 I find out about twitter from tumblr.

I did not "dance around" the manic pixie dream girl. I sought to write books exposing the dangerous lie that a person is more than a person. The romanticization (mostly by boys) of the Romantic Other is extremely dangerous, and that was a central theme of my first two books. If people read them as MPDG books, then I failed at my first and most fundamental task and I'm sorry.

I did not build the hospital. Nerdfighteria paid for a hospital that Sierra Leoneans built. We paid for the hospital partly through Hank and I donating money, but mostly thanks to the thousands of people who pay for the hospital every month and my brother's stupid but brilliant idea to create Netflix For Socks.

dubiousculturalartifact

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

anyroads

Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea

homeofthebasin

I normally dislike these kinds of takes but this one works absurdly well. Who'd be the kind to brag with their full name to the cyclops? Who'd be immune to turning into a pig because they are already a pig? Who'd want to hear the sirens so badly that they'd tie themsleves to a mast just to ensure the sirens aren't as good singers as them? Who would get brutalized by hubris but still come home ready to kill a bunch of people for trying to get with their partner?

moldspace

hungry critters

despazito

Niu Lai has not made its way onto tumblr yet so I guess my anglophone ass has to make a post about it

despazito

This movie is currently a huge meme in china. It came out of nowhere and inexplicably got a theatrical release, looks like ass, was animated completely by the director and his mother, and took several years to make. "Niu Lai" translates roughly to "The bull is coming" and apparently the film has several other allusions to stock market puns. The Chinese stock market coincidentally had an uptick the day of its release which added further fuel to the meme fire. After going viral Niu Lai began to actually turn profit at the box office, theatres unprepared for Niu Lai mania (the creators did not distribute any promotional material) had to improvise DIY posters:

Niu Lai has now been pulled from theatres.

starship-goldfish

Good news: Niu Lai was only pulled from cinemas its hometown, because "the film’s poor quality could harm the city’s image." The rest of China is still screening it.

talesfromtreatment

I... I don't think the patient's weight got entered correctly. Just a hunch

wimpud

please, my dog, he is sick

talesfromtreatment

Every single note and comment is comedy gold and I'm wheezing from laughing so hard

awaggaa

sirompp

hi. i made some images.

feel free to take them and use for whatever you may need them for. no credit required

eater-of-the-sand

can you please make one for Ireland

sirompp

yeah okay

jellyfish-grave

zxid

collection

fishlung8877

shinraalpha

i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw

teaboot

Europe must choose between having a delicious cup of chocolate pudding and shitting its pants on a crowded public train

retrowar

qsy-complains-a-lot

jay-jay-gone

Are you proud of yourself? Are you happy you made this?

qsy-complains-a-lot

Oh you have no idea.

were-ralph

this made me laugh so hard i started choking and gasping for air

thesnadger

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

thesnadger

Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can't change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they're fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.

Two towns over there's a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they're barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.

thesnadger

"But don't their clients feel weird knowing that they're feeding off their suffering?" No they think it's hilarious and they're real shits about it.

bladeangelx

Finally a medical professional who believes that they are in pain. Because the fucker is actively chowing down on your agony. Not only am I going to get treated by them I'm going to invite all of my chronically ill friends to come as well.

tachvintlogic

Turns out if you treat the pain then the humans will bring you more humans who are suffering. It's like a restaurant where the waiter is so impressed by your ability to eat food they're giving you more on the house

derinthescarletpescatarian

They say things like "well, it's a real feast day for Belogarth today!" and "if my meds are held up at customs again I'm gonna put Belogarth in a food coma" and Belogarth is the one feeling weird about it

lokaror

GOUGAR CLAIMS COOL ROCK

ubersaur

God forbid women do anything

justpastsaturn

She had a good time, too

kadens-a-bee

When the pairing is so good that it doesn’t matter if you see it as romantic or platonic. What matters is that you see them and know that one is not complete without the other. Frequently bought together. Do not separate. If you separate them one of them will bite you

zephyr-zephyr

Once i had a teacher who was OBSESSED with

A) resource guarding

And

B) Harry Potter

So naturally, every time someone didn’t have a pencil she would charge them 10 house points (which, even in schools where there is an actual house point system, probably doesn’t fucking happen). She openly held the belief that she had to ascribe value to these precious writing implements or else no one would appreciate them, a concept evidenced by, i kid you not, how when homeless people are given houses for free they let them fall into disarray, because they didn’t pay for the house and therefore didn’t care about it. I, a pissed off 13 year old with a vendetta against power hungry teachers and also JK Rowling, brought a 100 pack of pencils to school so that whenever someone had to ask for one, instead of being charged a fictional currency and upsetting their fellow, deeply competitive students, i would just give them one. If the pencil didn’t come from the teacher, she couldn’t charge points for it.

This upset her. She couldn’t assert her power over the 1st period Advanced 8th Grade Math Class anymore. For i, The Pencil Liberator, had come to put an end to her tyrannous behavior.

She told me to stop about 30 pencils in.