Satan desperately trying to convince everyone that Jesus was the real deal, so he wouldn’t be crucified and save everyone from their sins.
IN HELL, WHEN SATAN HEARS THAT GIRL MARY SAY SOME SHIT
Satan: I need those souls, we must save Jesus
Demons:.... how?
Satan: Give me a wig, I’m going undercover.
AT THE BIRTH OF JESUS
Satan: *dressed as a cow* Only a son of God could make lying a manger look anything other than extremely uncomfortable.
WHEN JOHN THE BAPTIST WAS IN PRISON
Satan: *dressed as a guard* Don't worry 'bout it Jesus, I'll go tell him you're the real deal.
ANYTIME JESUS HEALED SOMEONE
Satan: *handing them a card* remember my boi Jesus, son of God.
WHEN JESUS REVIVED THE DEAD
Satan: please accept these "welcome back to life!" muffin baskets and tell all your friends that the SON OF GOD, AKA JESUS CHRIST, did this.
IN JERUSALEM
Satan: EXCUSE ME, you're just going to throw him in jail? Judas is a lying sack of shit, he's most definitely the real deal. Cut off your arm, you'll see, he'll fix that shit right up.
Everyone: what?
Satan: AND he turned water into wine and fed way too many people with a couple of fish and some bread. Susan, you were there, you remember.
Susan: It was a suspicious amount of people he fed.
Everyone: true.
Satan: So, how about we spare his life? He seems legit and I bet God would be v. happy.
Everyone: Yeah, alright.
Jesus: Um.
God: Medammit, Lucifer.
Satan: *blows kiss at the sky*
