I’m not paying for anything. The kid couldn’t afford tutoring, and offered to pay me in guitar lessons, so who am I to say no? …Did you just call me dumb?
You're either extremely rich - or, yes, dumb.

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@felixtho
I’m not paying for anything. The kid couldn’t afford tutoring, and offered to pay me in guitar lessons, so who am I to say no? …Did you just call me dumb?
You're either extremely rich - or, yes, dumb.
The only pluses about your twenty-two year old boyfriend leaving is that, one, I can now walk around in my underwear and not have any attention brought to it, and two, have his left over alcohol. Hello red wine. Don’t you look stunning tonight.
What are the minuses? Did he leave because you used him for his alcohol, or was there another reason?
Today I talked to my therapist and why anxiety and sadness and stuff turns into anger. Apparently I’m really normal because of why it happens, just not how often. She said that I’m a rare case cause I’m a guy and I admit that there’s something wrong in my head. I am special.
You're such a cliché. Let me guess - you've got some tragic past that somehow absolves all your fucked up life choices, huh? Do you have voices in your head, too? It's like all the English classes I ever took were leading up to meeting you. I bet the whole bad boy mien only helps you with that appeal to pathos.
Found this beautiful girl wandering the streets on her own. She has no collar and I have no idea who her owners are.
You're touching a stray dog? God, stay away from me. Rabies is contagious, and I've heard idiocy is as well.
One of the kids I tutor is teaching me to play guitar in lieu of payment. It’s adorable, and he’s not a bad teacher, for a nine year old. I can almost play Island in the Sun.
You realize you're practically paying for completely amateur instruction? A nine-year-old can't have known how to play guitar for more than a couple of years. He's ripping you - you'd do better with Guitar for Dummies. Emphasis on the "dummies".
No, I wouldn’t, because I wouldn’t be stupid enough to try and stab myself a bunch of times with a needle while marijuana was blinding the receptors to my cerebellum and basal ganglia.
Well, look at that. Little boy knows how to use a dictionary.
I’m going to take your avoidance of my question as you’re shit sober.
That'll be your loss, then. You planning on getting your tattoo done by that skinny kid with the hair?
Aww, no, you should bring it back. Winnie the Pooh is the greatest. Tigger’s the best, though. Have you tattooed yourself while sober?
Tigger was terrifying. Little bastard scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. I do most of my tattoos myself, so yes. It's what I do for a living, anyway.
I know you’re implying that I’m ugly but that’s a lie, you shouldn’t lie. It gives you wrinkles.
I'm too concerned with my looks to risk doing anything that might give me wrinkles. It wasn't a lie.
Nah, He got it covered up with a skull instead so I think he’s alright.
A skull, huh? That's a step up from an inspirational fish.
Yeah, I have a few tattoos. And no I didn’t cry. They hardly even hurt.
Well, aren't you tough?
Um, but I didn’t? You can even ask Ethan.
I don't care enough to go around asking people if you cried while getting a tattoo, really.
Well that could end up badly! I’ve been wantin’ to get a new tattoo though; so I’m guessin’ you could be the perfect person to help me out, maybe?
That depends on how you want me to help you out.
That sounds … really dangerous? Like don’t you ever hit nerves or something, and it hurts really bad? Or like stab yourself somewhere you didn’t mean to?
Maybe you would. I, however, am not an idiot.
Oh my god, I need to see these high-tattoos. Are they of unicorns? Or Wayne’s World quotes? Or just nonsense scribbles?
My worst was one of Winnie the Pooh. It turned out surprisingly well, but I got it covered up later. I kind of miss it.
I’m actually really curious to see some of the tattoos you’ve done on yourself. If I ever decide to lose my tattoo virginity, I’ll be sure to come to you.
About half of my tattoos are my own. I'm flattered, really, considering you haven't seen my work yet. Nice that you've got so much faith.
Tattooing yourself high is only a good idea if it’s of me.
I've got too many ugly tattoos already, thanks.