Back in Bisexual

Formerly battle-ax-bi, decided to get back in the game! Trans guy/bisexual/transmed/anti neopronouns/anti mogai/anti mspec/ exclusionist/NB neutral. I don't know what a carrd is and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

[sincerelywhiterose]

Friendly reminder that tomorrow is the first day of pride month and if I see any biphobia, I will throw hands

This includes, but is not limited to:

saying that bisexuality excludes trans/nonbinary people (it doesn't)

saying that bisexuality is too binary (it isn't)

saying that bisexuality is outdated (again, it isn't)

saying/implying that bisexuals only care about gender rather than personality (which is gross and untrue)

derailing conversations on biphobia and its effects

excluding bisexuals from mlm and wlw spaces/discussions

speaking over bisexuals in conversations on the issues we face

refusing to listen to bisexuals if we say something is biphobic

ignoring bisexual history and activism

ignoring the present contributions of bisexuals to LGBTQ culture

making demeaning jokes about bisexuals or jokes that rely on negative stereotypes

stereotyping bisexuals in general

viewing bisexuals as 'half-straight'/'lesser' members of the LGBTQ community

and finally, speaking over bisexuals about the very definition of bisexuality

yes this includes saying things like 'that sounds more like [other sexuality]' or 'if you define your attraction that way you're [other sexuality] instead' in response to a bisexual person describing how they define their orientation for themself

[sincerelywhiterose]

Friendly reminders for Celebrate Bisexuality Day too! :)

[no-pennies4thoughts]

Just saw the phrase "fashion is fluid" and honestly I love that so much. Cuz ya, fashion is fluid. You can wear what ever you want. You should have fun and not worry about it. I think that's what people really should be staying instead of "gender is fluid" cuz the fashion is fluid is just a lot more accurate, freeing, and not revolving itself around gender instead revolving around just having fun.

[no-pennies4thoughts]

Absolutely in love with these tags <3

[chillmeds]

So much incredibly this, my fashion sense is whatever the hell I want, and it's very encouraging when people tell me they like my style, and not whatever unhinged shit saying I'm "gender envy" is. It sounds creepy and makes me uncomfortable. I'm just a quirked up white boy.

If I'm wearing a skirt... I'm just a dude in a skirt... so if I'm your "gender envy" you just want to be a guy...

I'm big into body modification, I love using piercings to express my personal taste, they make me feel unique, doesn't mean I'm some sort of other gender because I wear more "feminine" jewelry.

The only downside to normalizing people wearing whatever the hell they want is that, and I've already seen it start to happen, trans women who don't fully pass yet get assumed as "GNC kings" when they're really just gender conforming women. There has to be a sort of balance, I suppose.

[wiremxther-deactivated20230819]

the thing about whether or not trans women or even cis crossdressers and shit "tricking" cishet men is so dumb like i don't think the argument should be "we AREN'T tricking cishet men" i think it should be "cishet men should be open to having their own expectations of their own sexuality challenged because the world is not a sexual buffet for them to chose from" like sometimes a straight guy might actually just jack off to someone he thought he was a woman but is actually just a femboy or some shit. who cares. its just enrichment in their enclosures tbh

[wiremxther-deactivated20230819]

like very seriously, its the idea that identity and sexuality should be rigid and easily communicable when sometimes it isn't. if you're worried about being " tricked" into doing gay shit you're actually just insecure and a homophobe/transphobe. it is not about whether or not i am deceiving people, it is about the fact that people think there is something to be deceived about

[bi-kisses]

Speaking of pannies, top 3 worst definitions of pansexualiry I've ever read/heard:

"attraction to people of your same sexuality as well as other sexualities" (I've seen this unchallenged in two completely different circles online and iirc I even send you an ask complained about it when I first heard it lol)

"when you've dated with people of every gender and sexuality" (said by my sociology teacher in high school)

the twisted cousin of "attraction to men, women and trans people" that's like "Oh you're straight/gay and you're dating a trans person of the gender you like? Actually you're pan" (people keep saying this to my straight guy friend who's dating a trans woman)

I remember that first one, yeah, like ohhhh my god people need to be fucking stopped. It's already stupid as all hell to make Bisexual 2.0 as if there's something wrong with it as is, let alone "being straight is pansexual actually because I found a gay dude hot uwu"

I wish pannies a very fuck off

[pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250]

people need to accept that some gay/lgbt people are terrible and some gay/lgbt people are boring and it doesnt make them Actually Straight or anything

[pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250]

big pet peeve of mine is gay internet users talking about ellen degeneres and pete buttigieg and acting like they’re “basically straight” as if both these people aren’t literally married to someone of the same sex sleeping in the same bed with them and having gay sex with their gay spouses and as if ellen degeneres coming out wasn’t such a huge moment in the lesbian community and pop culture as a whole that the biggest lesbian website for decades after that was called afterellen like unfortunately being gay doesn’t make you immune to being friends with war criminals.

[miraculous-stardust]

this unironically. i’m in a public policy program that hosts lots of activists and organizers as speakers, and one comment that sticks with me was “if you like every single person in your community, it isn’t big enough”. that’s the struggle of organizing, of intersectionality, of coalition-building, of getting shit done. it’s reality that even people with similar goals and identities are still going to disagree— often. and sometimes other queer people are boring, conservative, etc etc etc.

[animentality]

[sunhatred-deactivated20220531]

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

[ardatli]

This is also the fantasy behind all those old bodice-ripper romances that people today like to mock or call problematic, by the way.

“Oh, my next forty years are going to consist of nothing but washing dishes and keeping house and bearing children for the disdainful man I married right out of high school because my parents said college was for men and I had no other obvious life path open to me? What if a pirate captain thought I was worth stealing away from it all? [what if I ran away but no-one could blame me for leaving]?”

[unclothed-i-shall-return]

#I read an article a long time ago about a woman who was raised in an incredibly repressive conservative christian community#where all that mattered was purity and virginity etc #She talked about how for a long time rape fantasies were the only way she could derive any pleasure from sex #because she couldn’t feel safe exploring the idea of wanting sex #it wasn’t really ABOUT rape or eroticizing assault or whatever #it was about creating a scenario where she was free from the shame associated with wanting #i think this is true of a lot of icky-seeming stuff in romance and erotica #it’s an imaginary scenario where nothing you don’t really want actually happens #but you can’t be blamed or feel guilty for it #you didn’t do anything wrong#anyway that article changed my perspective a lot #i think there’s also something to be said for people who have felt ugly and undesirable their whole lives #enjoying fictional scenarios where a hot alpha werewolf or whatever is so attracted to them he ‘cant help himself’ or whatever #because it can also be really shameful to want to be desired #when you feel like youre ugly and gross ( @headspace-hotel )

[jesterjamz]

see now THIS is how you do an introductory google form

edit: alt text provided by @/wytchcore. thank you!

[what-even-is-thiss]

I think that we as a society should get more comfortable with the idea that sometimes our friends will be attracted to us and sometimes we will be attracted to our friends and nothing needs to come of that.

You don't have to date. You don't have to stop being friends. You can just keep hanging out. Self control and respect exists.

And sometimes you will date your friend and figure out that your dynamic worked better when you were friends. And then you can go back to being friends. It's really quite simple. Mature and cool, even.

[miseriathome]

Even requited attraction doesn't need to be acted upon. Two people can be mutually attracted to each other and still decide not to date or not to change the dynamic of their friendship. People who are dating can mutually decide it worked better as a friendship, even if the attraction persists.

Feelings are just feelings. Not all feelings need to be realized as actions. It's very mature and cool to still treat people like people even after learning about their feelings, whatever they are.

[psychotic-gerard]

me: i don’t want to see jellyfish so i will blacklist the tag #jellyfish

people with no common sense: je11yf1sh, je11¥fi5h, j*llyf*sh, je//ÿf!sh, j3ï||yf¡sh, gel lee fisk

result: cannot account for the sheer amount of possible ways to alter the word jellyfish

conclusion: i have to see jellyfish now.

Once again, tumblr is not tiktok, tag properly.

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

Seeing so many posts recently from pans about "bi/pan solidarity" what solidarity? You keep pushing us out of our spaces, contribute to bi-erasure and spread biphobic lies and misinformation and when we try to correct you you lash out and screech about us being "panphobic" or better yet "terfs" (as if most definitions of pan aren't extremely transphobic...) I'm so tired honestly.

This blog is one of the few places I feel accepted, both in the real world and online, thank you for letting bi people have this small space to just talk or vent about their frustrations, I appreciate it 💞

I'm with you on the bi/pan solidarity shit. They do not care about us, and I'm certainly no friend of theirs.

I'm glad that you like my blog! It always warms my heart to get messages like this, I'm happy that I'm able to provide a place for bisexuals to just be bisexual, even if it's just as small as a tumblr blog.

[bisexualsdeservebetter]

This is probably gonna sound wrong but whatever.

As a bi woman that is still trying to fully accept herself, I’d never marry/date another bi guy. And it’s not about struggles or insecurity but for the simple fact that I’ve NEVER come across a bi guy that actually has same preference ratio for both genders. And I really only want a guy that only fancy me. So as bad straight men are, I’d much rather have someone that only prefers my gender. Even if they cheated I’d be less insane knowing he didn’t chose a guy over me.

And also, honestly bisexual men are never even bisexual. All the ones I’ve talked to wished they were gay. You can’t even name one bisexual celebrity that has liked women or went for women... they’re into men only but will fake it so they’re accepted into society.

Also I really like masculine and REAL men that would know pussy is enough.

Can I just ask what your fucking problem is? I've got nothing against pussy but you're acting like a piece of shit. If you don't want to date bi guys, that's your right and your preference should be respected. But you can not date bi guys and also not treat them like garbage at the same time. Fuck off, and get off your high horse. You're no better than them, people hate bi women just as much as bi men, if not more actually. Trying to pick a fight with bi men is unproductive, it doesn't help anyone, it just alienates you from the community and makes you look like an asshole.

[chillmeds]

"real men that would know pussy is enough" wow, how's that casual homophobia treating you? Heads up, girlie, bi guys don't wanna date you, either! Not because you're a bi woman, but because you say shit like this.

[dabitheme]

i'm so fucking sick and tired of how bisexuals are treated. some of you say we're basically straight and don't face homophobia, that we can't speak on gay issues because we're not gay enough for you, or that our attraction is split into halves or percentages and you can use that against us. some of you insist bisexual is an outdated, exclusive term, and that we MUST adopt another one in order to be good people, that we MUST erase bisexuality from history for the "betterment" of the lgbt community. you compare us to cishets, to exclusionists, to predators, to impostors, and then you wonder why we're so fucking angry? i'm so tired of you all.

[pikafem]

from a linguistic standpoint, the “-sexual” suffix in the words “homosexual”, “bisexual”, “heterosexual” is NOT related to the physical act of having sex (= coitus), libido, or sex drive. it's about the biological sex (= sexus) of the people you're attracted to. etymologically, the word “homosexual” simply means “a person who is only attracted to the same sex”. now, of course, if you're sexually attracted to somebody, you're (hopefully) going to have sex with them, but the coitus (having sex) and the sexus (biological sex) are still two different things, even though they're connected.

that's why all those new labels and sexualities (like “demisexual”) don't make sense: the “-sexual” suffix is not about HOW you have sex, it's about WHO you have sex with. if you don't like hookups, that's not your sexual orientation. if you don't like men, well, that's your sexual orientation.

[femmebisexuelle]

how come that all the pro-pansexuality posts are always "SOLIDARITY!!!! YOU'RE JUST A MEANIE [buzzword of the week that doesn't apply in the slightest]"

like do y'all have any arguments beside that or

[discourse-snivy]

also literally so many of them just disprove their own posts and then do a 180 and still defend pansexuality.

“oh but it comes down to what the person is comfortable with. even if they are technically bi they should be allowed to call themselves (literally any sexuality other than bi)”

no you just proved that bi and pan are the same thing and you fail to see how biphobic this claim is

[femmebisexuelle]

my fave argument is when they say "but this bisexual association welcomes and support pansexuals!" as a gotcha cause it shows that they don't have a fucking clue about what they're talking about

Bi orgs & associations welcome pansexuals because 1. they're bisexual 2. they're still oppressed under biphobia and need the same resources as bi people 3. bi orgs are already underfunded and they already struggle to get recognition so they literally cannot afford to be labelled as "exclusionary" or "problematic" and be cancelled because of some hurt feelings of people with internalized biphobia.

Bringing up bi orgs only proves that bisexuality and pansexuality are the exact same thing

[xenosagaepisodeone]

in retrospect, video rental stores *would* probably still exist today in some capacity had it not been for blockbuster. the nostalgia for the blockbuster browsing experience undermines the reality of how aggressively the chain snuffed out smaller video rental stores and would eventually become notorious for its abusive late fee collection policy once there were no significant competitors standing. the rise of streaming is often attributed to blockbusters demise, but what’s not often recognized is how netflix’ earliest (and most successful) marketing tactics were in fact advertising the absence of the aforementioned terrible late fees as opposed to the convenience of not having to go to the store. I was actually surprised to find out how much of blockbuster’s demise can be attributed to spiraling out of control as it attempted to manage viacom’s ever increasing debts than to the fact that people just naturally gravitated towards streaming (which is not to say that it wouldn’t have happened eventually, but).

[quoms]

see also: borders / barnes & noble with bookstores. amazon’s original pitch was probably more “look how convenient!” than it was “look, you can avoid the awful sterility of the inside of a barnes & noble!” but it’s interesting that with its aggressive tracking and tailoring of recommendations amazon is having machines do (in an impersonal and invasive way) what the staff at a local, non-chain bookstore would do, which is match their selection to your preferences

[lew-basnight]

Barnes & nobles and Borders raced against each other, across the country, to oversaturate the bookstore market. This isn’t paranoia or conspiracy — it’s the same fucking model Starbucks used. Oh, your community supports three bookstores? We’re going to open five, until the little indies go under. Then we’ll close four of our own (sorry not sorry staff, enjoy competing with each other for a handful of positions!) and now you have no other choice. Movie rental chains did the same thing.

And then all these huge chain retailers have the fucking gall to weep and whine as amazon proceeds to wipe them out, and now I live in a small city where you just… can’t get stuff. If you don’t want to use amazon, if you don’t have a car to drive out to the big box on the highway, you literally can’t buy a pair of socks or an ice pack. No more pharmacies, no more bookstores, no more video or music stores… if this was plants and not retailers you’d call it monoculture, and you’d raise an alarm about how prone to catastrophic collapse monocultures are.

[lynati]

Ohhh that last line.

[beanmed]

Oh. I’m really sorry that you believe that you need dysphoria to be trans. I can understand where that reasoning might come from, it’s just sad to see that some people believe that others must suffer to earn a label that they identify with.

What do you consider trans people without do not experience dysphoria to be, then? Irrelevant?

I don't think dysphoria means suffering.

I believe all trans people experience dysphoria even if they dont think they do. Every non dysphoric person I've talked to has said they don't experience dysphoria but they experience *proceeds to describe dysphoria*. I just dont think they have a good understanding of what dysphoria is. or they just don't want to identify with dysphoria even though they experience it.