my FAQ (currently updating!!!):
If you wanna know my viewpoints please click the read more. If you wanna send me an ask please read this to see if it's already answers. Thanks!! (Will be edited as I get new questions asked).
How often do you respond to asks?
I respond as soon as I am able to give an actual genuine response. This can be anywhere from a few minutes to a few days. I always try to wait till I can sit down and really give an in depth reply. So be patient. So long as you're message isn't hate, or have another blogs name in it, I will respond to it. Tho if you're ask isn't lgbt related, I'd suggest sending it to @penny4yathoughts. That's my other blog. This blog is for lgbt discourse specifically.
Why is the split attraction model harmful/why should it NOT be used?
(New summery post) I've answered this a few times in several different ways. Please click one of these (link 1) (link 2) (link 3) (link 4) (link 5) (link 6) (link 7) links to learn more. It's about who you are attracted to. How you experience it isn't a separate identity. By labeling every little part of your attraction youâre doing a lot more harm in the long run. (Here is an ask on demi)
Note: Some of those asks are old so the wording might be odd. But the general idea is still there.
Thoughts on gender dysphoria?
You need some level of gender dysphoria to be trans. Gender euphoria is part of gender dysphoria. And dysphoria has nothing to do with gender roles as it's very much has to do with the physical body and is scientifically backed. That said, it isn't body dysmorphia which I find a lot of detransitioners had, along with problems with gender roles/stereotypes hence why they detransitioned. They deserve help and support just as much as trans people. And yes, being trans needs to be a medical condition because otherwise it costs way to much to transition. I need insurance to help pay for shit. Don't take that away from people who NEED to transition just because you think a medical condition is a horrid terrible thing to have. Which fun fact, itâs not. There is nothing wrong with having a medical condition and being able to say you have one makes it a lot easier to get help.
Transmisogyny vs transphobia is there a difference?
Intersectionality is a heated topic with a lot going on. But I think legally speaking, it's important to define transmisogyny as separate from transphobia. In discrimination cases there are a lot of laws that hurt ONLY transwoman (ex: trans men can still do the thing but not trans woman) so there is a loophole that it's not transphobia OR sexism since trans men and cis woman aren't affected. Thus, legally speaking, having the word transmisogyny is extremely important even though there would be overlap with both transphobia and sexism.
I think similar things apply for TME stuff but I won't lie, that term still confuses me.
Thoughts on nonbinary?
Note: I have some older posts about nb that I have things I do and do not still agree with.
I support it honestly in that, I think everyone has the right to refer to themselves how they wish-- and we have the moral duty to respect and abide by that. That said, I do talk about specific definitions that of nb that are sexist/transphobic (ex: defining it in a way thats clearly just them not feeling confined by societies dumb ideas of what it means to be male/female by reinforncing those gender roles on to everyone else). Any defintion of nb that reinfornces sexist/tranphobic ideas is not okay and while I will respect pronouns and names, I won't respect your reasoning.
Thoughts of trans minors medically transitioning?
Like any medical transition, it's a case by case basis. I don't have the right to tell someone they CANT medically transition. The best options for a trans youth is something that should ONLY be decided by the parents, doctor, and child. It ain't our business.
Thoughts on regulations on medical transitioning?
It should be regulated just like any other med/surgery. As in it's absolutely something insurance should help cover and it's something you talk to your doctor about. It's up to the patient and their doctor(s) on what's best for them. Plain and simple. Hormones are a controlled substance so there are usually more hoops to go through cuz it's a CONTROLED SUBSTANCE. But beyond that I can only really speak on my specific area of the USA where I get my meds and got my surgeries. I know other places are way more heavily regulated to the point where you can't even get help which is obviously NOT good.
Making it more accessible isn't the same as giving it out like candy. I do think medically transitioning should be thought through carefully-- but at the end of the day, it's none of my business and I will only support people and keep my own thoughts to myself. That said, there def is some dangerous info about what you can and can't do that's out there from all sides of the topic thats worth discussing.
Thoughts on mogai?
I haven't seen mogai around lately honestly but maybe thats just me. That said, treating gender or sexuality as a haha fun little game is shitty and insulting. And hyper analysing your gender or sexuality in order to define it into a thousand little boxes is harmful to your personal health and growth.
Bi vs pan debate?
Bi means all. Pansexuality is biphobic in it's very existence. Bisexuality means attraction to all genders and always has.
(Link to ask that has link for more info).
Thoughts on asexuality?
Asexuality is VALID. it means no attraction. I have several posts on this. Feel free to check them out.
Is asexuality LGBT?
I don't care. Like... I have no issue with it being apart of the LGBT community. I have more important things to care about. (here is an ask I got about it)
So what is the issue with asexuality?
The split attraction model is the only thing that I have an issue with.
Thoughts on the q slur?
I don't have a strong opinion. I'm in a 1st world nations in an area where it's not that big of a deal to say. I understand the word has a lot of history and has been used as an umbrella term for a long time because sometimes it was easier to use. However, it is still a loaded word and many people have bad connections to it.
Thoughts on he/him lesbians?
If it's for safety reasons then ok. But the way it's used overall now-a-days is extremely transphobic and lesbophobic. Lesbians are women. And he/him indicates male. It doesn't work. (Here's an ask that goes into more detail).
Is heterophobia real?
Yes it is real. How ever it does not function the same as lgbt phobia. Lgbt phobia works on a systematic and cultural level. Heterophobia only manifests within a toxic part of the lgbt community. (Link to an ask about it here).
What gives you the right to talk about these issues?
I'm a human being. End of story. So I get to research topics and form opinions on them. I was apart of the asexual community for almost 8 years, and have seen first hand what harm the split attraction model can cause to not only myself, but other people I've met. I am apart of the LGBT community and know first hand how gender dysphoria works. I do research on most of the topics I talk about and I will say upfront if I haven't when I comment on things I know little about. Because I believe learning and acknowledging lack of knowledge is a key part of making informed opinions. And anyone is allowed a voice on any issues. Just like anyone is allowed to block and ignore you if you feel like. Hate is never ok no matter the situation.Â
Any other blogs?
I have @penny4yathoughts as my other discourse blog that is about a more broad number of topics.
If I have questions can I ask them?
Feel free to send me an ask (anon is on) or PM me to ask questions. civil discussions are fine, but hate is not tolerated.Â
Useful shit:
What to expect during top surgery
Link to ask giving advice on getting into discourse
Ask 1 and ask 2 about echo chambers and how online discourse shouldn't be making you upset all the time.
Link to ask discussing questions to ask yourself if you think you might be trans (not a professional. Just things that might be useful to ask yourself).
Link to if you're getting kinda depressed from discourse: ie. Take breaks.
Link about reasons some trans people can come off as really sexist.
The difference between sex repulsion and asexuality.
Tips for dysphoria. (1)
FAQ subject to change/be edited as I decide to add more links, change wording, add questions, etc. Edits will not be pointed out when they happen.






















