Of Hypes and Stereotypes

 frustrated comedian/s online -- Welcome to an arbitrary mess of a blog run by a proud young Filipina called Ferna (or Ninay) who has too much feelings and opinions. If you believe you are well-equipped to endure obscene amounts of self-adulation (or deprecation - it really depends on my mood) and extreme excitement over the most trivial of matters, then you will have no problem deciphering the rather puerile text and images on this blog. -- --

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Spent this afternon making this video. Got pretty nostalgic so I decided to sort through all the videos I have saved on my laptop and came across ESS field trip vids! 

Putting this 6-ish minute video was super fun. Hehe.

Dedicated to all my ESS classmates and two of the funniest teachers ever. <3

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I was reunited with my dad’s side of the family this summer; here are some pictures of some of our fun times. Click thumbnails to enlarge and see captions. 

Such a shame we don’t have pics of us doing karaoke. But then again I probably looked like crap so it’s just as well. 

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Bitch turned 19 today :-)

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In Summer.

One thing I’m known for is being horrible at replying to messages. Send me one on Facebook and if you’re lucky, I’ll reply in a month. But I’m really making a conscious effort to change that. I’ve realized that if I kept it up, I wouldn’t be able to keep in touch with friends I actually like. So when I received those familiar Facebook pings around a week ago, I immediately clicked that shit.

And let me tell you - I’m glad I did it. 

Fast forward a few days later and I’m with these three - Karen, Vincent, and Marie (aka Mars), who I have all known since my Pisay days. In all honesty, I don’t think I would have survived the challenging experiences school brought without these three. Be it having meal buddies, tutors, confidantes and, of course, best friends - they’ve never failed me. <3

We spent two nights in Naga at Marie’s casa, and we spent our first afternoon at Dice, which is a pretty chill board game cafe. We had fun throwing insults and threats at each other as it became increasingly clear that winning was more important than our friendship. ;-)

I took their company as an opportunity to flaunt my Cloudlite flip phone. Lol. We took several crappy shots similar to the one above. Damn, technology’s developed so quickly. We proceeded to drink, talk, and eat “exotic” Filipino junk food in Marie’s living room for the rest of the night.

The next day, Marie’s dad drove us to a hot spring so we could detox. Being unprepared, I was clad in my gray Tokyo-London shirt. Haha!

Because poor Karen was developing a cold, the rest of us spent a bit more time in the water. For the first few minutes I found the water a little too warm for my taste, but as I sunk in deeper and deeper, I realized that it was actually quite relaxing. <3

There was also this nice cold spring place thingy nearby which we also decided to check out. The water was pretty cold, which I also liked, and the rocks which the water collided with added a nice naturesque charm. We sat down here for a bit to chat about random stuff and it turned out to be so pleasant. :-)

That night, we decided to go for a #basic night at Starbucks and we treated ourselves to overpriced drinks and pastries - which we readily devoured. They caught me up on the latest news about our Pisay batchmates, in turn causing me to realize that I’ve missed out on so much. I really think that these few days spent with them was much needed. I am desperate to hoard fond memories that I can look back on once I start a new chapter in the U.S. 

Thank you so much, my lovelies. I know you thought I was rude and loud for pretty much the entire time we were together, but I hope you enjoyed yourselves as much I did. :-)

Photo Credits: Marie Alvina, Vincent Buerano, Karen Agnes

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I'm getting my IB diploma.

Ferna Simbulan, July 2016

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Thirty kids. One roof. A whole lotta magic.

I didn’t know what to expect when my friends and I first stepped into SOS Children’s Village in Manila in early June.

Our objective had gotten pretty hazy then as we initially received the generous GoMAD grant to conduct a Peace conference in Mindanao with university students. We had already made the necessary arrangements with our contacts, but security concerns had us thinking that we had to change our plans at the last minute.

A stroke of inspiration hit me when I was talking to my first-year Jose over Facebook. Jose grew up in SOS Manila and had only nice things to say about his family there. After running through our group’s ideas with him, Jose agreed that it would be a feasible idea to move Playback for Peace to SOS Manila. We spoke to his aunties and uncles there, booked a place near the village, and then we were set!

Now, let me introduce you to our fabulous team. :-) We have seven members - Olivia, Jada, Shannon, and Julia (all from Hong Kong), Hassan (from the Maldives), Trisha (from Kenya), and myself (from the Philippines). We’ve trained in Playback at LPC under our supervisor Steve Reynolds and it’s been such a pleasure to impart what we’ve learned about this therapeutic and improvisational form of theater to around 25-30 kids from SOS Children’s Villages. 

Our main objectives for the conference were 1) to train participants in the art of Playback, including listening, choosing Playback forms and appropriate musical backgrounds, making “connected” human statues with proper levels, vocal projection, and basic acting; and 2) to champion the importance of group communication. We specifically requested the small number of participants to ensure the quality of our training and the comfortable sharing atmosphere.

Behind the scenes, our daily routine started with waking up early and making breakfast (note: I can only fry stuff), then we’d take the jeepney to Alabang Town Center with Jose and walk to SOS. For most of the day, the magic happens. We adapted Steve’s fun Playback exercises and Initiative for Peace (IFP) activities to get the participants pumped up for the actual Playback training. To our surprise, their enthusiasm and ability to accomplish objectives exceeded our expectations. Obviously, we were beyond pleased.  

Another exciting thing is that they plan to open an SOS Manila Playback group so they can perform for their families in the village! Best of luck to you, dear friends!

Personally, I feel that the satisfaction I derived from this trip paralleled that of Project Week’s. I was very happy to make new friends at SOS Manila and show friends that I already had how life is like in my country. I think I speak for every other Playbacker that I know that what we do is something we value so much personally, and to be able to spread this type of love with others...well, it’s simply a privilege.

Phot Credits: Trisha Kibugi, Jada Poon

Video credits: Jada Poon

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GRADUATION DAY!  Almost as good as being there.

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The thing that I had been endlessly wishing for for a whole term had finally come.

Friends, I’ve managed to keep myself together until graduation day. What a sweet, sweet triumph. :-)

The day of graduation and the night that led up to it were surprisingly filled with, well, surprises. During graduation special dinner, our teachers and the school staff gave us a treat - a lipdub wherein they acted all sorts of crazy. I couldn’t help but cry a little over their wonderful effort. 

During the graduation ceremonies, I was given an award I had no idea existed: The Kiwanis International Community Service Award. I literally tripped over myself when I took the framed certificate from Steve. 

If I’m being honest, I wasn’t so sure about what to write about leaving. Heck, I’m still not sure how to continue writing this post. I could talk about how I said rushed goodbyes to friends because I had to hurry with my family to get to Tsuen Wan; I could talk about how disoriented I was and still am because I didn’t know how to feel about my award; I could talk about how worried I am that LPC can never be matched by any other place I’ll come across in my lifetime.

Instead, let me talk about this: I have wanted to graduate for a while now, and that day had come. So shouldn’t I feel relieved and completely victorious? But the way graduation came felt so quick and unceremonious. And to be quite honest, it did no justice to the amazing welcome I had received when I first stepped into the campus, just a little over seventeen, excited about the world I was entering. Now, two years later, I am scared to leave that world. Scared that the new world will change me, and not in the way that UWC had. Scared that the smart, witty, thoughtful, responsible, and daring friends I’d made exist nowhere else.

Hey, Ninay. Don’t be silly. Great people exist outside of UWC. You just have to find them. :-)

I know it’s silly. But why the hell can’t I stop myself from thinking like this?

The only thing that appeases my mind is thinking that I can and will live out the movement’s ideals outside of UWC. If I can’t stay contentedly inside the walls of UWC, then I will bring the UWC spirit out in the open.

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are you requried to do, say, a play or dance or something or are that activites you sign up for?

I’m so confused. Do you mind rewording? :)

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Chapter 34: The Last Movie Night

Shopping for ingredients, cooking, washing plates and pans, dancing, improvising cooking methods for failed dishes, and watching movies together with this bunch has definitely helped me stay out of my room a little and make it worth it!

Every “movie night” has been a lot of work, but more importantly, a shit ton of fun. Thank you, bbs! You’ve helped me conquer my fear of stoves a little bit more.

Photo Credit: Hassan Saleem

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Do you know how many apply to LPC this year and how many got in?? A curious zero year from HK.

Hi, zero year! Sorry but I’m pretty useless ‘cause I have no access to that information. :/

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I know it’s my fault.

I know I shouldn’t have done it.

But I really regret cramming two years’ worth of Economics lessons into 2 days of revision.

I’m going to fail the IB, guys. 

And I got no one else to blame but myself.

Also, I didn’t study for English. Wowowow

(: (:

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Omg I'm just so confused abt whether I should go or not to UWC after reading your last post. Don't get me wrong, it's very nice of you to actually tell abt the negative sides, it's important to know them. However, you can't imagine how confused I am abt whether I really want to go and leave everything I've built here. So hard.

Your first sentence made me worried. :P I’d just like to point out that the reason why I stated these negative things is for people to realize that here, you can feel what you feel in other places. It’s not to say that people don’t know how horrible UWC actually is, I just wanted to peel off some part of the idea that it’s perfect.

I understand that if you feel as though you’ve already built something solid, something secure where you are, it might be hard to throw it all away to start from scratch.I do think that the decision is up to you, but if you think that what I wrote is what discourages you, it would be worth noting that all experiences are different and I was merely writing about my own. 

On a completely biased note, I hope you decide to go. Because I do think that UWC is a great place to find yourself in to really grow and challenge yourself. Best of luck to you and feel free to send me a message/e-mail.

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Things I Wish I Knew Before I Applied To UWC

UWC is a damn great movement. I expect that many of those who applied spent many winkless nights daydreaming about attending a UWC school. I can also imagine that the reason for this is the excitement over meeting people from around the world - and in many people’s cases - living thousands of miles away from home. Fair enough, right?

This is why it’s easy to allow oneself to believe that everything about UWC is just great! However, it is also important to be aware of things that may transpire, so here I’ve compiled some thoughts I wish I knew before I had applied.

1. The IB is a lot of work. 

When I was applying for UWC, I didn’t fully understand that I was simultaneously signing up for the IB. Sure, not everyone is as unaware as I was but it’s really important that you know that the IB is a rigorous program that requires a crapload of your time. Of course, not everyone chooses to allot much time towards their academics and that is just fine! However, doing well and understanding the curriculum before you jump on the UWC wagon is worth considering! UWC is a school after all.

2. UWC is not a utopia.

If you’re thinking that UWC is like a mixture of the Divergent series factions Abnegation and Amity, you need a cold splash of water right in the face. Not everyone who attends is idealistic and cooperative 100% of the time. You get people who don’t do their dishes, people who never show up to their CAS activities (or only do them so their CVs will look impressive), and people you just don’t feel like interacting with. There are many reasons for this, such as personal and academic struggles, as well as simply a different mindset, or heck - maybe even just a clash of personalities.

I personally do not mind when people have heated arguments about issues as long as they listen to each other because that’s what’s UWC is all about - diversity of opinions! Some people might think that arguing for longer internet access is something that must be done while some might think it’s unnecessary and is just a reflection of the privileged upbringing others have had. Hatred can be thrown around once in a while, but next thing you know you’re having lunch with that person who made your blood boil the day before.

Like in other places, there are people and instances that will get under your skin. I remember being sorely disappointed when I experienced, for the first time, seeing a group of people breaking simple school rules. I thought, “Wow, well, that wasn’t very UWC, was it?”

This sounds really dumb...but you just get used to it. 

3. Homesickness can hit hard, even after the first month away from home.

My first month at UWC was heaven on earth! I felt like I had found my favorite place on the planet and I even remember wondering if I would ever look forward to going back home. I think I Skyped my parents only every other month or so too just because I thought I was way too busy to find time for them.

Fast forward a couple of months and I find myself lying down on the rooftop, crying because I craved the company of certain people back home, not to mention I was struggling with my coursework.

4. My self-esteem will be tested.

I guess being used to getting things done and then suddenly feeling like you can barely get by school-wise really gives you a blow. In my case, it didn’t really help that I felt like everyone around me was good at something. I’ve also struggled with meeting people who have gotten higher marks than me even though it seemed like they hadn’t really tried while I almost swallowed the entire book revising just to get a 5. 

Then there are group discussions and you see how freakin’ smart everybody else sounds. You don’t ask for the mic because you’re scared you’re not going to be at their level of smartypantsness, or that you don’t actually know shit. So you just sit there, fist under your chin, feeling and looking utterly lost. 

5. It is possible to feel sad, but it’s totally okay to be.

In relation to the previous point, you will also get an influx of negative emotions. Before coming to UWC, I had the idea that everyone here was always smiling or laughing like they were at Disney World. Boy, how wrong was I.

In my case, I got severely depressed and man, did it kill me to think that I was feeling down in the dumps while at the famed UWC. But then you get those moments when you’re like, “Fuck it, I’m gonna be sad.” It’s okay to have time-outs, to want to be alone, to not laugh at someone’s frankly horrible jokes, or force yourself to talk to someone you don’t actually find interesting for more than five minutes! 

6. I still have so much to learn about the world even after 2 years at UWC.

It’s so easy to start thinking that you are special because you’ve made the cut and are living the UWC dream. But one thing I learned over time is that we’re not really all that - even one of our teachers had said that during our graduation dinner. I am just very, very lucky and privileged and it would be so wrong to act as though I have already had my fill of the world.

The more I learn about the world , the more I realize that I don’t know enough and will probably never feel like I do. Graduating from UWC is not a testament of your greatness; it’s just you (physically) leaving UWC. 

7. Leaving is exciting, and also kinda sad.

There came a point when I began to admit that I’m done; I’m sick of everything; I’m ready to leave. Actually, based off of the conversations I’ve had with many of my co-years, many of us are itching to get to university/gap year/a place free of the IB. But then it hit me: I will perhaps never find a higher concentration of genuinely kind-hearted, ambitious, and intelligent people in one place. In fact, I actually believe I never will. 

Nobody really thinks about leaving UWC before they’ve even come. And while some of us who are at this point - close to graduation - will feel more than ready to leave, some of us feel anxious about going back to “the real world”...because we know it will not be as kind.

-

Okay, in reality, do you really have to know all these things before you apply? Not really. Because let’s face it, you’ll probably figure them out yourself (or maybe not). But with the release of this very interesting blog post from a fellow UWCer (some points I agree with, some points I don’t because of my annoying tendency to be a pacifist and also because I just don’t have exactly the same perception of people as the writer), I decided to write something not-too-sugary about the movement for those who crave something different.

But still, this here is a completely biased post that makes me want you to fall in love with UWC just because it’s something I see as truly great. Yes, admittedly, UWC has many imperfections, but I can definitely say that I cannot imagine my life without it. The person who is typing this - a sarcastic, slightly cynical, tempestuous, and ambitious mess of a human being (who seems to have no grasp on POVs, judging by this post) - would not have been able to achieve the things she’s achieved if not for the idealistic and overly-glorified movement they call the United World Colleges. 

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It’s been the biggest pleasure to be the only semi tone deaf member of Acapella. :) 

Please feel free to watch! My face pops up a few times for your pleasure ;)

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Chapter 33: Babay, hayskul!

I would like to officially say that I will not be posting any more “college decision” images and text as I have decided on my school already. :-) That being said, it’s time to talk about other important things that have gone on in my life. 

Latin American Cultural Evening

One thing to note is that in relation to having absolutely no fashion sense, I also do not have a lot of variety of clothes. If you scroll back to my previous posts, you will see that the flannel shirt that I wore to LACE is the exact same one I used for North American Cultural Evening of last year. 

But yeah, the evening was awesomesauce! We got some nice ceviche and beans, etc for dinner and the show, headlined by the gorgeous Karen Torres and the meh Eduardo Puerta, was pretty entertaining.

Also, your girl got the chance to dress like a total badass. But ignore the hipster glasses and the not-so-cool roommate next to me.

Yearbook Photos

Picture above is the grad square I submitted to the yearbook committee. Excuse the horrible editing, the antisocial quote, and my awkward smile, but feel free to appreciate the “college brochure” inspired photo. ;-)

Yoyo edited this embarrassing photo of me and turned into a win! Got quite a few Facebook likes for this one. Hehehe. 

Finishing up with Quan Cais

Being done with Quan Cais left me with such a bittersweet feeling. On one hand, I feel relieved that finally I don’t have to stress over the agenda for the next Working with Domestic Workers (formerly Help for Domestic Helpers) meeting, and that I don’t have to spend my whole Tuesday afternoon and evening for Playback and Acapella; but on the other hand, I can’t help but feel like I won’t have any truly meaningful and therapeutifc activities left to do. :-(

Here’s a cute photo of our WDW group with visiting domestic worker students from TCK Learning Centre earlier this month. Spending one of our service days cooking and chatting with them was definitely a terrific idea. I do hope that the leaders for next year, Temi and Michelle, will take WDW to greater heights!!

Emma and I also had our final go at hosting Music Night. :-( We got very stressed over it because we had a record number of sign-ups and we had less available slots! We also received very strong applications for next year’s hosting positions. After hours of discussion, Emma and I agreed that Lettie and Aiste would make suitable hosts! Have fun, ladies. Treasure every moment. <3

Graduation Dinner

Soon, the last day of school came. That fateful Friday was filled with mindless pranks that required actual labor (Jordan and I switched our roommates’ corners - sort of) and extreme sacrifice (we also woke up at 5 am to prepare our little treasure hunt for them)! 

It was also filled with awkward, sincere, and again - bittersweet - goodbyes to our teachers. I can’t believe I won’t be able to hear any more of Chris Lahey’s cute dad jokes, Marit’s arguments on why Math Studies is useful, Jesus’ “on point” onomatopoeias, Julie’s rants on why MNCs are evil, Linda’s fond “cabbage” nicknaming, and Jon Tonk’s awkward remarks. I’ve never found myself in the company of such remarkable mentors and from the bottom of my heart, I am very, very grateful to have learned from them.

Before Friday came to a close, the graduating class had grad dinner at some fancy-schmancy hotel in Tung Chung so we all traded our LPC hoodies for...formal wear. Yey. 

Interestingly enough, I was voted (?) by my classmates to host the evening along with Magnus and it was actually a great opportunity to roast some members of the community.

Watch me pose with my cup of ice cream while everyone else danced to some trashy party music from 2011. I was going for a more chic look but obviously, I failed. (Kudos to me for concealing my double chin tho)

Even though I’m just completely awks during group photos, I was game enough to pose for our Spanish ab initio class picture (although we are incomplete, like our usual classes)! Gracias, Jesus! Hasta luego!

Here is the very best Sharon Squad photo ever taken! Photo completely sums up the group dynamic. Lol. 

And of course, our lovely Cooking + Movie Group. <3 (Did you notice that despite the diversity on campus every member of this group is actually Asian?)

UFlorida, you better have inspiring, kind-hearted, hardworking, and generally phenomenal people. LPC has raised the bar terrifyingly high. ;-)

Coming Soon...Final IB exams

Happening beginning the first week of May! Let me just say that if I were religious, I would not think of putting my rosary beads down. 

Anyway - here’s to me not failing Econ! Yikes.

Photo Credits: Haylie Ho, Chelsea Wong, Gaia Broude, Jada Poon, Anney Fung, Laris Leung Hoi Ching

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