Knight of Swords

"Inquisition, will you follow? Will you fight?" Independent Inquisition-era Cullen Rutherford. Semi-selective, multiverse, mature themes likely and tagged. Tracking Tag: #ferrumleones Sidebar Credit: X

[ferrumleones-blog]

So I kind of just want to announce, here at two in the morning, that the big reason I really want to come back is because of how happy I am right now.

You guys might notice that my disappearance coincides with my getting hired at my first job in my new home city in Arizona, re: period of adjustment, being busy and tired, etc. And now I’m

just

It’s a great job. Exhausting, and the schedule means I rarely get to check out performances and such on the weekends, but it’s so great. My coworkers are friendly and helpful, the customers are great, and many of the regulars are becoming my friends. The pace is comfortable, even when it’s crazy busy - the type of work I’m doing is just my style, I’m learning new things every day, I rarely if ever feel left in the lurch because I don’t know how to do something (I made meatloaf today, and my boss didn’t just expect me to know how right off the bat - she helped just the right amount, and it turned out great). The perks (see: getting to eat the leftovers, getting tips) are awesome, and so many nice dogs come in and sit outside the kitchen for scritichies and bit of bacon.

People all over town call me by my preferred name and pronouns, and my social anxiety has never been lower - on all but my worst days I can just talk to people, and they just talk to me, and it’s so comfortable. The area is gorgeous, my rent is low, I got my food assistance and found clothes and etc. I need at thrift stores all over. 

Even better, my relationship with my mother has benefited greatly from the distance between us. She isn’t in charge of me anymore, and thus can’t hurt me when she’s having a bad spell. The change in my mental health has been incredible.

It’s just...my life is finally starting to turn around, you know? After some ten years of mounting chaos and continuous trauma of varying grades, I finally feel like my life can begin. I’m finally happy, finally making progress. If I pick up another part-time job during the week, I’ll be able to save to get back to college. 

It’s finally happening. I made it. I fucking did it. I made it.

Maker goddamn bless. 

[ferrumleones-blog]

That said, does anyone know of someone in the DA fandom that takes theme commissions? I’ve got no coding or editing skill to speak of myself, and any leads would be appreciated.

[ferrumleones-blog]

PSA

Alright! So after a brief (albeit unplanned and unannounced) hiatus to prevent a burnout, my Cullen muse seems to be recovering. I think I’m going to start the process of rebooting this blog - maybe commissioning a decent theme, potentially moving URLs, giving things a general jump-start. I’ll probably continue some threads if there’s strong interest, but by and large I’ll be starting fresh (threadwise, not just tossing out any pre-existing development between characters).

Anyway, look forward to that! I’m working this weekend, but sometime in the next few days I’ll be making a dent in that. I’ve missed you guys! Other fandoms just aren’t as friendly and fast-paced as DARP.

[ferrumleones-blog]

The problem with working from six to one in the morning is that I miss the biggest activity time on the dash, and catching up on it all is like an hour-long affair.

[serpentseal-deactivated20150922]

Cᴜʟʟᴇɴ Rᴜᴛʜᴇʀғᴏʀᴅ

My Creator, judge me whole. Find me well within Your grace. Touch me with fire that I be cleansed. Tell me I have sung to Your approval

[ferrumleones-blog]

novub:

shout out to people with abusive mothers who have to deal with the world acting like every single mother’s love is so expansive and unconditional and tender when that is the opposite of what we experienced

[ferrumleones-blog]

            d u t y means doing the things your heart may well regret.

[herodaisy-deactivated20180318]

[feather-pauldrons]

[commander-warden-blog]

i don’t think he’s coming back

[awritersruminations-deactivated]

The world is wrong. You can’t put the past behind you. It’s buried in you; it’s turned your flesh into its own cupboard.

Claudia Rankine, from Citizen: An American Lyric (Graywolf Press, 2014)

[wnq-writers]

You’re not born with trust issues, they’re created by deception. Betrayal, ripped from the mouths of monsters - chucked into the souls of believers. And I trusted them. I believed that they weren’t lying, never scheming or cheating. Ignoring every sign for the belief that I must trust - thinking they were never doing wrong. And yet they were. Now whenever I see those red flags, I remind myself to have faith. Assuring myself that you are the one who is honest - presume that you are never doing wrong. And I’m not convinced. After too many times I’ve been hurt, I don’t believe myself anymore. Reassuringly you answer every jaded question I ask - hounding you to tell the truth. And I believe you. Because you are the one that I trust, You are the one that I believe. Your words are the words I will never take issue with - It’s just me who I have issues with. And the monster I’ve created.

Monster Issues, © 2015 Sarah Marie Pardy (via wnq-writers)

[itachaaan]

:3

[stonelions]

a sketch i did for lindiranae of some modern cass and cullen roomies au we were talkin about a while back. 

[firetivity-blog]

ask my character anything you want——anything. they have to answer truthfully.

[delayedcorruption]

"I’ve seen men like him. They’ll fester until it gets to them, then they’ll hit. Sooner we finish dealing with this Breach, the better." The armor clacked and scraped together as Samson straightened, angling a worn look at the Inquisition’s commander. Hard to see that when Samson looked. If anything, he saw a man he had served in the Order with. A man that had once been so plagued by fears, that he let it get manipulated for the former Knight-Commander’s benefit. Not like Samson could blame the man. Not then, not now. "How’re the defenses? Saw you just finished on those trebuchets. Pray you won’t need them."

The news of the lyrium was a relief, silent in its own right. Samson tried to tell himself it was for his men, out of concern for them, but try as he might he was still a selfish man. Despite the newfound title, despite his return to the Order. The lyrium had been forced on him at such a young age, and even still Samson was helpless to let it go. 

"We’ve marched for days, Cullen. After what happened at Therinfall—" Words snapped and broke in the cold, hanging in suspension. "Give the recruits a break. Least until the evening—they saw too many good men and women die that day."

[ferrumleones-blog]

     "Agreed. It concerns me that we don't know more, but we will prepare as best we can." Such as by building siege machinery, which, as Samson said, he dearly hoped they would never have cause to use. "Less than ideal. With the mountain at our back and the valley before us, we'll see any advancing force from a league off, and we'll have no fear of being flanked, but we'll have little to no opportunity to retreat should it become necessary, beyond taking refuge in the wreckage of the Temple. Haven's walls have been bolstered, but this was built to be a place of pilgrimage, not a fortress capable of withstanding siege." If their defensive line was breached, it would become a battle of attrition, plain and simple, and while their numbers were growing by the day, he didn't fancy having to strategically sacrifice any of them against a large enough force.

     He saw the way the mention of lyrium loosened some of the tension in the line of Samson's shoulders, softened the crease between his brows, and he glanced away despite himself, knowing that feeling, the relief of knowing you would have your fix when the need arose. It made his stomach roll, if briefly, and he cleared his throat before turning back to his fellow Commander, and his assessment of the Knights' readiness.

     "...these are your men, Samson, and I'll trust that you know their limits better than I, but we cannot afford to delay. The moment you believe them ready, we must advance." He wasn't without empathy in this, wasn't without understanding and mercy - having to watch your own comrades turn on you at the behest of a demon...he knew what that did a man, knew the way it changed you, but they could only allow so much time to grieve. They would all have to set aside their pains and shoulder their burdens soon enough, if they wished to survive the coming days.

[pxvus-deactivated20150616]

    “Oh, might you?” The man hummed, leading them down the stairs. Carefully, of course, carefully. Solas only barely raising a brow at the sight of them. He was getting rather accustomed to this, to be frank - Cullen walking upstairs and coming back down injured. There were rumors of Dorian somehow harming him, but oh - anyone who knew the Commander knew the truth of it.

    “So you don’t wish to play into the 'healer and the heated soldier' trope, hmm?” Dorian inquired, then. Smirked. “I’m no healer, but… For you, I could pretend.”

[ferrumleones-blog]

     "Please, I think I've embarrassed myself quite enough for one day." He huffed a quiet laugh, inclining his head in rueful greeting to Solas as they passed - truly, it was fortunate the elf wasn't much inclined to gossip himself, given all he had seen of them over the last few months. Then, once they were safely alone again; "I'm a terrible actor. If experience is any clue, simply being you and me in such a context is challenge enough for me. Though one I gladly face."

     "I had intended to ask you to share dinner with me, tonight, but I suppose this is as good a means of getting you alone as any."