what's in your head?

death to those who believe us weak.

[fervorae]

everything in life is an orchestration similar to a dance : each step , each movement and each undulation of the form matters  , just as it is in WAR.

( PREVIOUSLY FERVORDANCED ) --- ind. canon divergent & selective IRELIA from LEAGUE OF LEGENDS penned by tora.

[fervorae]

whoop , whoop - revival.

[fervorae]

heyo ! sorry i’ve completely died on all my other blogs than @carminae so follow me here aight

[carminae-deactivated20201124]

hey. so i made a discord server absolutely out of thin air on an impulse but also because i’m not so present on tumblr atm because of classes. it’s really just made to be a fun place.

you can dm me or @luxcnna for an invite if you want in tho.

[tcleios-deactivated20200712]

JUSTICE [ juhs - tis ] , noun.                 – the quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, or moral rightness.                 – rightfulness or lawfulness, as of a claim or title; justness of ground or reason.                 – the administering of deserved punishment or reward.

                           ( ind. dash only , mutuals only , heavily headcanon based old lore kayle by tora. )

[fervorae]

@blooming-burst​ said  :  neeko hands irelia a small bouquet " neeko wishes irelia a good valin-times DAY ! "  --  valentine’s day special !  ( accepting all day . )

battle worn digits hooked with utmost delicacy around the stems of the beautiful flowers ( a burst of colors : petunias and lilacs and sunflowers all elegantly grouped together ) , sky colored optics lose their focus in those many hues - drawn in this rainbow held between their hands ; it blossomed so gently , the petal soft smile upon colored lips ( unknowingly to the dancer , growing larger and larger before feeling their own cheeks hurting ). the cloudy skies are no more , now a sight of clear blue among a warm countenance though , those hues soon lowered shyly when irelia spoke. ‘ these are beautiful , neeko! . . . -- thank you. ‘

[fervorae]

@indevitatus​ said :  " Alone tonight, sweetheart? Don't you feel the love tonight? " -- unprompted .  ( always accepting . )

was this envy towards those who had a seemingly better time? an unseemly feeling leaking from their heart and escaping from the holes in their glass - like rib cage , a coldness that progressively left permafrost onto their insides and their organs ( and it felt so numbing to be alone and yet just like a stab of the sharpest blade to their stomach at the same time ). the closed wooden door seemed heavy against their spine , eyes lost among the emptiness of the general’s home reflecting the same void within ; fingers reached to tuck a few strands of night blue behind their ear only to realize their skin was frozen( warmth had escaped irelia in the quietest of ways it seemed ) , a sigh - barely there. followed by a voice. the suddenness ceased to surprise them at some point. ‘ i don’t seek another’s company , i- ‘ ( do not need it? cannot have it? do not deserve it? irelia blinked in surprise at their own thoughts ) ‘ -- although it is a good thing to celebrate love . . . hopefully the lovers’ union will not last simply for this very day. ‘ the dancer had moved to one of the glass window that allowed the daylight in but also the moonshine , leaning against its delicate surface ( turning away , hiding this show of emotions that threatened to burst out ) arms crossed over their chest.

[fervorae]

( @shadowtread​ )   from .

A smile makes its way onto the warriors face as they look down in a fickle attempt to hide their reaction. “I was never formally trained for… that art, I’m afraid.” A hand is raised to their face, tucking a few loose strands behind their ear. Leaving their hand to linger, Kayn finally looks up to the general.

“But, if a professional says so, it must hold some truth.”

there was a certain lightheartedness to the air that was unusual to irelia in the way that perhaps , simply for this blessed moment , they could forget about what they must do ( everyone’s gaze is turned towards them , the general could not stomach disappointment ) to simply breath. relax. ‘ as time passes , this custom had become less and less practiced , forgotten ; it ... lives on with me through my family. ‘ the dancer contained the frown that wished to twist their features , a task easier done when blue eyes gazed at the other’s reaction , softening ( perhaps they even dare to smile themself ).

‘ the most important is to keep a perfect balance at all times , if you wish to learn -- i could teach you. ‘

[fervorae]

the emptiness of a cold home had became a familiar sight in such a way that irelia had stopped seeking for any hope of an addition , neither the warm and adoring visage of a loved one or the reassuring presence of a pet awaiting for them to come home. loneliness that was once a freezing mist , chilling their skin with this alien craving of being loved and touched ( though driven away by the repulsion of contact quickly enough in a never ending cycle ) and beckoning the rain inside their heart.

it became all so ( - so ) familiar , leaving naught but numbness.

[fervorae]

irelia : laughs for the first time in ages irelia : what is this

[carminae-deactivated20201124]

… and left with nothing but my madness , my cold fingers and my pried open golden rib cage , what else could i look forward to but the death of everything? – ( ind. selective & mutuals only rhaast from league of legends , revived by tora. )

[fervorae]

unsteady heartbeat and stains of vermilion upon magenta , they dragged their bloodied hands along the doorframe shakily - struggling to push it open. bright optics were left widened as if the sight of their home confused them but it was rather to be facing this familiar , reassuring and peaceful blank space once more that surprised them. blades still drawn out ( stars of steel glittering alike a crown of silver ) in a fan - like formation behind the general’s head.

they were trembling.

it is at that moment that irelia’s legs gave up , slipping underneath the dancer’s silhouette and letting their form slide against the shut door ; instinctively bringing scrapped knees to their chest like they used to when younger. it was alike watching yourself from a far corner of your own mind , unable to will your body ( that had now gained sentience ) to do anything until it wished to - and so irelia slowly let their cheek press against the wooden floor , breathing heavily , smell of iron so heavy on their tongue.

[fervorae]

AH , ONCE AGAIN THE RAIN FALLS. dripping from the dark skies of these optics and rolling upon the battered hills of these cheeks only to be blocked by walls made of palms. how did your fiery heart turn to ashes? deep into the night of your life , there are no stars above and no other light but the clear drops falling from your eyes. please stop the pain , you cry and cry , why must my agony continue? 

was i ever alive or am i dead?

[fervorae]

they did well to hide the slight clench of their jaw and the sudden frown creasing their forehead , emotions lightly slipping through the blank wall of their face , yet betrayed by previous spilled words. there was always this duality between the wolf and the lamb underneath smooth concrete and this inability to read what was going on in irelia’s mind at any given time bloomed forth rumors of all kinds : the lionhearted general that doesn’t let emotions rule them , the one who tore the arm of the demon , the fearless. . . all these given titles made the dancer’s head spin and their heart turn with unspeakable anxiety and yet the still mask of unbreakable porcelain lingered on ; and it is with sharp eyes , piercing and chilling in their own way , that their gaze wandered over the acolyte’s features and they saw naught but ( behind the grotesque corruption ) the visage of yet another child dragged by war by tyrants who cared so little about the lives of their own people - and yet just like the general was nothing but a child when the invasion began and robbed them of their happiness and dreams. 

‘ the dogs deserve more than a simple bite , if i could i would leave neither generals or soldiers left to support their tyranny - simply to watch an empire crumble like it should have. alas it’s not my only decision to make ; the yanléi is seen with a wary eye for its ways are. . . considered extreme to the public eye and yet i would go to great lengths and allow this alliance to be , if the duchess gives me her word. ‘ irelia’s head mindlessly canted to the side as thoughts bloomed within their countenance , would karma allow this? perhaps. after all , she was a woman of many surprises and more invested in her own goals and seeing them through perfectly than the opinion of the few - a trait that sometimes seemed to lack in the general at times.

‘ although , expect a visit from me whenever i get a reply. ‘

[indevitatus]

@fervordanced

[fervorae]

bully

[fervorae]

[fervorae]

heavily grimaces before simply leaving the room.