fever halo @feverhalo - Tumblr Blog

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I think. I need to make a new blog lmao for all the things bc this is not meant to be a main blog but..... I'm back in the ecosystem babey and I want to be a dork

#so if a bunch of yall get spammed with likes n shit again soon i am sorry in advance

Good oh tho

#hyperactivity spike and its like Late #i forget how happy doing silly fandom stuff makes me #qnd its been so long that it floods me with happ6 #and breaking masking shit. makes me wanna bounce and be loud more so than ever #bruh. i need my.own place so i can sing out loud to stuff qnd jump and bounce and indulge my happiness #because even tho I am At Home and should be comfy i still get selfconcious #bc i live with folks who r kinda like. 30 year old men shouldnt be Like That #and im like first off. dude is more appropriate than Man but sure. and 2nd heck u let me vibe with my adhd and happiness and stim #being happy and experiencing it and showing itnis beautiful however it happens as long as it doesnt hurt anyone #and i dont think me wanting to spin and bounce and sing and create hurts anything #judgement does tho so like. hush #anyway i ramble but am still happy and just vibing with headphones and weighted blankets/heavy clothes #so what i can do feels more to get the same satisfaction

Saw a tweet that was like "my joints just cracked so loud I expect them to glow in the dark"

2 immediate thoughts

1-damn I feel that

2-fuckin. LU oldies creaking and cracking joints and someone says that then someone decides to be a smart ass and use magic to make creaky joints glow like a glowstick and some other nerds think it's funny and they over do it and have a joint cracking orchestra (bc they all crack and creak from something or other. I'm sorry when bones don't set right u get lots of snapping and crackling and popping after healing. And im sure carpal tunnel and arthritis are a bitch hylias heroes are familiar with)

Anyway tldr link rave in the dark using magic and joint pops. And then a bunch if exhausted and sore magic drained links the next day. And some of the more spry ones like LETS DO THAT AGAIN and the more creaky ones like LETS FUCKING NOT

Thnx that is all

#not sure if everyone who btoke q thing has cracking #but my shoulder is still fucked like almost a decade later #to be fair the collarbone was a BAD break. and p sure i fucked up q rib or 2 that went unfer the radar #bc a limp arm hanging and thoughts of potential broken neck take precident #and as someone who was used to chest and rib pains that were like. A Lot sometimes #anyeay my sternum and like 3 ribs on my right side crack fkn constantly aling with my shoulder #and mid upper arm??#and a friend broke their leg and ankle and gets bad cracking still too. so odk of we were just rly fucking unlucky #or if thats the norm but ye #i fully expect fate to just ahve been a dick to me bc i was being a massove idiot #but idk #rambling as fuck

I just had the hardest bi/pan/???whatevermydealis-panic moment of the last 2 years of my life at work today. Gorgeous woman asking me questions about retro candy

So breathtakingly gorgeous I hope she has a great day

I usually just say I'm gay bc its easier than explaining my whole steeze but /////////

#being blindsided by women is nothing new but not in a i want to ask her on a romantic date way #i swear my face must have been GLOWING RED behind my mask #the only other person thats happened with at my job was tgis sweet guy i seni dated for a bit #but p sure im in the ace spectrum/am šēx repulsed so we talked about it and kinda decided #maybe a later thing but probably q friend thing #hes still absolutely adorable.imo and.i still get super blushy and shit #but goddamn #im very blushy today #anyway not to be a raging romantic on side/main/here but ///////

I'm cry

I just got all the memories unlocked in botw and my heart ;_;

Plans for now and today:

Order a food so that's not a stress and I am fed

Eat the food

Drink a water

Do interview

Use some of the nervous energy to clean or at least condense piles in room so u can do things

I hope you all can do a good thing for yourself today or like. Know that even if you can't you are still good and worth your space and energy and I hope u feel good soon

#trying to do proper self care qnd not overwhelm myself all at once #the plus side of rrading glasses is it blurs everything past my laptop #so i can ignore the mess better during interviews #i rly need to make a main blog again orntry qnd rememver my mains pw......#food mention #whenever i get antsy avout stuff like this #i remember other ppl get rly antsy abou5 stuff like this too #and just want to like. solidarity and body double or share space so u arent alone and d9nt feel alone #so. a post?

I am so glad to have shitty dollarstore glasses rn

Do they make godawful noise whenever I unfold the arms? Yes. Do they feel hella cheap and have prominent seams where the plastic meets? Yes. Am I probably going to have the greasiest breakout on the bridge of my nose? Probably.

BUT I CAN SEE MY GODDAMN SWITCH SCREEN AGAIN. AND MY PHONE SCREEN WITHOUT NEEDING TO PUT MY FONT TO LIKE 180+% SO. IM A HAPPY MAN

#i just tamed like 3 horses in botw bc i coild #and taking all the pictures of bugs for the compendium because I CAN #and i read more than my brain rly wanted me to the other night when i first bought em #my mood has greatly increased. i can now enjoy things in focus #if only in focus in terms.of eyesight #i also have a repair kit fornwhenever i find my real reading glasses #so i can adust the screws/replace the one thats missing so the lens stops popping out

ezdotjpg

For ur request thing, slate with koroks?

the koroks love to shield surf too :-)

#bonus links are hella cool #this is the best time to like #get into loz stuff omg look at the cool design and art!!!!

my-random-thoughts-about-lu

Wind: *hiding under a barrel*

Moblin: He thinks he's being sneaky

Bokoblin: whose being sneaky

Fuck yeh I got reading glasses

#dollar store ones but better than The Mist™️#i can see. i can read. i can type (alledgedly). i can draw. i can play games #so happy

everyonehasamnesia

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

I've got it sewn into my soul now that I am going to live for the chance to try and grow shit everywhere this spring. Like live and thrive and hum soul deep for it.

Fuck the shit make it beautiful. Gonna save up money and find out how to get native seeds and those grabber thingies and go ham on the side of roads and small forgotten places and put down seeds and take away trash and try to just be for that.

#is this just an adhd mood? possibly. is this a distractio tactic bc i dont want to deal with feelings? absolutely #is this actually going to happen? less likely #but will it be a good distraction for now and keep me in some semi-grounded state? eh maybe #i want to know all the flowers and know all the secrets to helping them grow #and to fuck off away from home for a few afternoons and just #live that ghibli calm of lqying in the tall grass with the breeze and bees floating past

visit-ba-sing-se

shout out to every one still wearing their mask, no matter if mandatory or not. everyone who used their privilege to get their vaccine and booster shot. everyone who is careful to still follow the rules on social distancing. everyone who missed out on some kind of fun or thing they looked forward to because it did not seem right in the middle of a pandemic (and might have even gotten mocked as stuck up). all of this has been so long and frustrating but it would be way worse if It weren’t for you, so thank you so much for carrying on for all of us.

Anyway unrelated to p much anything

But yall ever desperately want to do a thing and not don't all at the same time

#want to.move and fidget and stim qnd read and write and scream #but also. want to not do any of thay and lay in a cold metal space and be very quiet #and both options make me #No ™️#anywho. guess its time to try and find a vibing playlist and see if thats tolerable? and go from there??#i kinda wanna try writing #but also kind of disjointed bc i realized maybe whump.is a special interest and never realized thay b4 #and uh. thays throwin me 4 a loop. but maybe its not and im faking everything but maybe im not and that internalized bullshit #maybe also write. cause im rly loving the LU and kinda wanna write for.it gkejcjmemd or draw #draw* i do t have my glasses so i cant tell.if.i wrote that right

Heavy content/world situation content/p@ndemic content

Anyway I quit my job/put in my notice today because of pro-c*vid/ant!-m@sk (because they "don't wanna")people.

So. If you think it's fake shit. You think it doesn't matter/that the only ppl who will suffer the worst are already sick/other things like that I want no part of you in my life or on my blog. Block me.

Content end.

#and ive cried over it. i feel like a big baby but #i have health conditions. my family has health conditions #i qm already signed up for a life of more than likely decreased organ function #qnd if i brought anything home to my family and they suffered i couldnt handle thay #and seeing what my coworkers hqve dealtnwith or suffered througj #i cant keep working with the public. and im officially counting down days til i dont have to #i do have other interviews and stuff lined up #but im at my limit. beyond my limit.#drives me up the fuckin wall. we get paid minimum wage to make sure you have a service #not to putnup with your misinformation and cruelty #this has legitimately been an amazing job for me. and im gutted to lose it #but between corporate not protecting us properly and aholes being aholes idk #not worth my life or mental health

sasarahsunshine

But like, imagine if I actually wrote the fics I think about constantly. How wild would that be?

A healthy breakfast of tea, oatmeal, and wheat biscuits?

No.

An antihealthy night feast of icing sugar and cookies with some strong ass coffee

#its decaf coffee.... but still #im vibing in a weird timezone of inslept too much but i qm exhausted

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