Being slow in life is fine. Taking longer to figure life out than others is not a bad thing. Lots of super successful people were late bloomers, who knows what amazing things you could accomplish once you heal more.

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@fewthingsleftunspoken
Being slow in life is fine. Taking longer to figure life out than others is not a bad thing. Lots of super successful people were late bloomers, who knows what amazing things you could accomplish once you heal more.
Pelajaran Ikhlas
Setiap perceraian itu gak ada yang indah, meskipun jika kenyataannya lebih baik memilih jalan tersebut. Gak ada satupun pihak yang bahagia.
Gue, sebagai anak, juga turut merasakan kepahitannya. Gue memang masih muda pada saat itu, tapi gue sudah cukup bisa mengerti apa itu rasa kecewa, putus asa, sakit hati, marah.
Bertahun-tahun.
Jangankan memaafkan. Untuk menerima bahwa memang jalan Tuhan buat gue tuh begini, butuh waktu tahunan.
Iya, bertahun-tahun gue hidup dalam kemarahan. Dalam denial. Diselimuti berbagai pertanyaan yang siapapun gak bisa jawab. Kenapa harus gue? Trus kenapa setelahnya harus begini? Kenapa kok kayaknya makin dibikin down sama Tuhan? Kenapa doa gue gak dijawab2? Kapan ya doa gue terkabul? Ini Tuhan lagi becanda apa gimana sih? Dan segudang pertanyaan aneh lainnya.
Kemudian sampailah gue di tahap menerima. Entah apa triggernya, ya mungkin waktu ya.. Entah di tahun ke berapa, pada akhirnya gue bisa menerima kalo memang yaudah ini takdir gue dari Tuhan. Gue udah gak lagi sedih dan mempertanyakan kenapa harus orang tua gue yang bercerai. Tapi tetep, masih ada sedikit rasa dendam dan marah. Iya, luka nya masih berasa meskipun udah bertahun2.
Jadi meskipun udah menerima, gue masih sensitif. Gue udah terima kalo memang keluarga gue begini dan gak bisa diapa-apain lagi, tapi deep down inside gue masih menyimpan sedikit marah dengan kedua orang tua gue.
Kondisi menerima ini pun berjalan bertahun-tahun. Meskipun udah menerima, masih berat rasanya buat gue untuk berbakti selayaknya anak ke orang tua. Iya, karena gue masih mikir mereka udah bikin gue sakit hati dan kecewa dan gak bahagia.
Mungkin sekitar 10 tahun atau lebih. Dari 2006 kalo gak salah, baru bisa menerima itu di 2016 apa 2017 tepatnya gue lupa juga.
Selama itu? Iya. Mungkin tiap orang berbeda ya, tapi buat gue rasa kecewa dan luka perceraian itu, sakit banget.
Sampe di tahun 2020 menjelang 2021, gue baru bisa mengikhlaskan atas segala takdir yang dikasih Tuhan ini. Gue udah gak lagi marah, gak lagi dendam, gak lagi sakit hati, gak lagi kecewa. Selain memaafkan, ikhlas adalah hal tersulit.
Gue udah maafin kedua orang tua gue dari lama, tapi untuk ikhlas atas pilihan yang mereka pilih yang menyebabkan kekecewaan besar dalam hidup gue, itu sulit.
Yaaa.. kira-kira 14 tahun lah buat gue.
Time will heal, itu bener. Eventho kita gak tau kapan. Dulu gue gak percaya, karena gue ngerasain kok, udah more than 10 tahun tapi rasa sakitnya masih berasa. Tapi entah mungkin Tuhan juga membuka mata gue lebih lebar bahwa hidup gue tetep harus disyukuri karena masih terbilang baik, ya akhirnya rasa ikhlas itu muncul.
Sempet ada di masa gue udah hopeless doa sama Tuhan. Gue gak minta kedua orang tua gue balikan, gue cuma minta mereka berdua baikan, itu aja lamaaaa banget Tuhan jawabnya sampe belasan tahun. Siapa yang gak hopeless?
Tau gak? Doa gue baru dijawab Tuhan hari ini. Doa yang dulu sering banget gue minta, sampe rasanya capek & hopeless krn gak kunjung dikabulkan bahkan keliatan gak ada harapan, ternyata tanpa disangka-sangka Tuhan kabulkan.
Dari pengalaman hidup gue ini, gue akhirnya percaya kalo Tuhan memang punya rencana-Nya sendiri. Mungkin jawabannya gak dalam 1-2 tahun. Mungkin Tuhan nunggu gue bisa ngerti dulu arti takdir yang dia gariskan buat gue. Dia mau liat gue belajar untuk menerima, belajar memaafkan, belajar untuk membuang marah dan dendam, dan belajar ikhlas.
Setelah gue melewati itu semua, bener aja, Tuhan jawab apa yang belasan tahun ini gue nantikan. Bahkan dia kasih LEBIH dari apa yang gue doakan.
Gue dulu cuma minta, mereka bisa baikan aja gak menyimpan marah satu sama lain, kalo ketemu kayak orang biasa aja gak harus pasang muka kesel atau berantem. Gak harus ngobrol panjang, at least tegur sapa & gak berantem.
Hari ini gue menyaksikan sendiri kedua orang tua gue bisa saling ngobrol tanpa berantem, berjam-jam. It's more than enough.
I'm tired of pretending I'm okay
HEHE
Been a long time udah gak pernah curhat gak jelas di tumblr lagi. Tapi hari ini rasanya penuh banget dan gak tau juga bisa cerita detail apa yang gue rasain ke siapa. Gak butuh solusi juga. Cuma butuh ngeluarin unek-unek aja.
I am finally gettin’ married almost 2 yrs ago, sama orang yang namanya gak pernah ada di tumblr ini hehe. Entah mungkin karena pernah merasakan langsung sebagai korban perceraian, atau terlalu banyak ngeliat temen-temen yang juga pada akhirnya memutuskan mengakhiri pernikahannya, gue gak percaya pernikahan. Sampe detik ini. Nikah hanyalah simbolis, karena gue tinggal di Indonesia.
Yang selalu ada di pikiran gue, cinta sampe mati itu gak ada. Kita akan menikah, dan sangat besar kemungkinannya kalau kita juga akan ditinggalkan, karena kesalahan / kekurangan kita sendiri. Cuma waktunya aja yang berbeda-beda tiap orang.
Cinta itu gak ada. Pernikahan itu bukan cinta, melainkan ikatan antar manusia yang berkomitmen untuk saling bisa mengerti satu sama lain. Tapi sayangnya pengertian manusia pun ada batasnya. Makanya ketika seseorang udah lagi gak sanggup menghadapi kekurangan pasangannya, ya perpisahan terjadi.
Makanya gue percaya juga, suatu saat nanti kita akan ditinggalkan karena kesalahan atau kekurangan kita sendiri. Entah sampe kapan pasangan kita bisa bertahan sama kekurangan kita. Makanya ada yang baru nikah beberapa tahun udah cerai, ada juga yang udah belasan bahkan puluhan tahun nikah tetep cerai. Karena apa? Karena ada satu pihak yang udah gak lagi bisa menerima kekurangan kita.
Bener kan logikanya?
Gue takut sendirian. Tapi gue juga gak ngerasa ‘fit into a marriage’. Hidup setelah pernikahan itu bebannya lebih berat, tapi gak ada yang bisa guarantee juga kalo this marriage will lasts. Jadi nikah itu konsepnya kayak apa? Gue makin gak paham.
Alternatives for 25 overused words in writing
1. Interesting- note worthy; thought-provoking; fascinating; attracting; appealing; attention-grabbing; captivating; gripping; invigorating; engrossing; engaging; electrifying.
2. Beautiful- striking; stunning; magnificent; lovely; charming; gorgeous; radiant; dazzling.
3. Good- acceptable, wonderful, exceptional; positive; brilliant; first-rate; notable; stellar; favorable; superb; marvellous; prime.
4. Bad- awful; lousy; poor; unacceptable; crummy; dreadful; rough; inferior; substandard; atrocious; appalling; dreadful; defective.
5. Look- glance; fixate; observe; stare; gaze; peer; scan; watch; study; browse; eye; glimpse; review; inspect.
6. Nice- lovely; superior; pleasant; satisfying; delightful; likeable; agreeable; correct; adequate; swell; fair; okay; approved.
7. Very- extremely; exceedingly; exceptionally; immensely; tremendously; abundantly; particularly; remarkably.
8. Fine- satisfactory; worthy; respectable; exquisite; suitable; well; imposing; decent; admirable; praise-worthy; decent.
9. Happy- cheerful; delighted; pleased; content; amused; thrilled; elated; thrilled; ecstatic; on cloud 9.
10. Really- genuinely; truly; honestly; actually; undoubtedly; certainly; remarkably; incredibly; downright; unquestionably; extremely.
11. Sad- miserable; gloomy; devastated; down at heard; distraught; distressed; dispirited; sorrowful; downcast; feeling blue; desolate.
12. Big- massive; huge; giant; gigantic; enormous; large; colossal; immense; bulky; tremendous; hefty; sizable; extensive; great; substantial.
13. Shocked- taken aback; lost for words; flabbergasted; staggered; outraged; astonished; astounded; stunned; speechless; appalled.
14. Small- tiny; petite; mini; miniature; microscopic; minuscule; compact; pocket-sized; cramped; puny; undersized; limited; meager; modest; minute; pint-sized.
15. Angry- irate; enraged; touchy; cross; resentful; indignant; infuriated; wound-up; worked-up; seething; raging; heated; bitter; bad-tempered; offended; frustrated.
16. Know- understand; comprehend; realize; learn; perceive; recognize; grasp; sense.
17. Change- alter; transform; replace; diversify; adjust; adapt; modify; remodel; vary; evolve; transfigure; redesign; refashion; advance; transition; shift; adjustment.
18. Old- aged; ancient; matured; elderly; senior; veteran; decrepit; seasoned; venerable; past one’s prime; doddering; senile.
19. Think- ponder; reflect; conceive; imagine; contemplate; consider; determine; realize; visualize; guess/assume; conclude; envision.
20. Funny- comical; ludicrous; amusing; droll; entertaining; absurd; hilarious; silly; whimsical; hysterical; joking; witty; facetious; slapstick; side-splitting; knee-slapping.
21. Go- move; proceed; advance; progress; travel; walk; journey; depart; exit; flee; make one’s way; clear out; get underway.
22. Give- grant; donate; hand-out; present; provide; deliver; hand over; offer; award; bestow; supply with; contribute to; send; entrust.
23. Get- acquire; obtain; receive; gain; earn; gather; collect; buy; purchase; attain; score; secure; take possession of; grab.
24. Easy- effortless; simple; clear; smooth; straightforward; uncomplicated; painless; accessible; apparent; basic; plain; child’s play; facile; elementary; cinch.
25. Fast- agile; brisk; rapid; nimble; swift; accelerated; fleeting; high-speed; active; dashing; winged; hurried; turbo.
Every relationship gets boring and it will get boring after you’ve been together for years. It’s always fun in the beginning. It’s always exciting when you’re getting to know each other. It’s always thrilling to chase one another. Eventually, it gets hard. Eventually, it becomes difficult. Eventually, it drains you. That’s when people tend to quit and goes looking for someone else because the “spark” is gone and they want to feel wanted, admired and be loved again. But listen, that’s not how it’s supposed to be. No, that’s not how it works. It doesn’t have to be that way. Even if it does get boring, that’s when you’re supposed to remember why you’re with that person in the first place and it’s never to late to find that happiness that you both once found together because the truth is, it’s always been there and it never left. Even when it feels like feelings are fading, that’s when you’re supposed to know how much this person means to you and what losing them would be like because being able to love someone even when they’re being hard to love shows that your feelings never left. Even when it feels like you’re done, that’s when you’re supposed to realize that no matter who you’re with, its always going to get “boring” so you might as well be with someone whose willing to love you unconditionally and won’t ever give up on you. -Teddy Nguyen
A post about romantic relationships
so I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now. And I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into a room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you’d be so happy to live together you’d sleep on a double bed with each other every night.
And its not really like that, at least not to me.
You stop getting the butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When youre in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesnt feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.
You don’t sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight its hard to tell where yours begin and theirs end.
Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arm, or stroke their hair as they fall asleep. There are nights when my boyfriend, in his sleep, reaches around me and pulls me to him, like a child with his teddybear, like I am his comfort.
In the wee hours of the morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and you see through cracked eyes, you curl into their chest and inhale their scent before drifting back to sleep.
Kisses aren’t always romantic and firey anymore. But there are so much more of them now. There are cold kisses when you’re eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day.
There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses. There’s quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when its loud and you gravitate together, when instead of having your own personal space and their own personal space, its both of yours together, and you step into their chest to take up less area together.
You don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like you used to, because that’s a given now, and you’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life youve built together. You share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, your own little world against the outside one.
Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start.
But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not a fire in your soul, but one in your hearth, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drowsily drift into sleep.
And I love that.
"What is meant for you, will reach you even if it is beneath two mountains. And what isn’t meant for you, won’t reach you even if it is between your two lips.”
#quote #fall in love
DEAR SOMEONE, Should I start to risk my feeling? Are you worth risking? Are you the one I’ve been waiting for? The one I’ve been praying before? I may hurt again for so many times, but I’ll try now just for this time There’s a part of me wanting to know you more, please allow me to do so I can’t admit that I have this feelings, because I don’t know what it can brings I know it’s unbelievable but love is able Did I say love? No! I may like you, but I don’t love you, For now. I don’t know if you already have someone special, but it’s not the reason for me not to pray for my special man It’s alarming that I’m doing this again because of a guy Should I stop this to prevent hurt and then find some food to buy? If feelings can only eat like foods then I’ll eat them all until I’m full Like foods that are consumable, I hope it will consume also Like foods that have expiration date, I hope to expire and throw it away Worry makes me ugly, I’ll just pray to God and I’ll wait patiently. LOVE, ***** ……….. Ends: 11:58 pm
anonymous (via lovedandforgiven)
We live in a world when egoism always win to conquer all of human behavior. We live in a world of sin. So, just kiss me!
It was one of those times you feel a sense of loss, even though you didn’t have something in the first place. I guess that’s what disappointment is- a sense of loss for something you never had.
— Deb Caletti, The Nature of Jade
I wanna go on a roadtrip someday. Alone or with someone I love. I wanna get away. Explore places. Sleep in the car. Stop a lot just to admire the view. Visit museums and try out coffee shops. Listen to my favorite albums while driving. Have a polaroid camera. Take pretty pictures of the sunrise. Take pictures of myself. Run through a forest. Chase fog. Chase the sun. Spend hours on a field making flower crowns. Feel the wind in my hair. Buy souvenirs. Meet people. Take time to observe. I wanna make memories. I wanna feel alive.
— Things on my bucket list
Falling for a person isn’t a process. You can’t plan for it in advance, or anticipate its arrival. Love strikes in single moments. Anywhere. Anytime. Some day you catch them gardening in the sun, or singing dreadfully in the shower, and you think, Oh, I could spend all my life with you.
Beau Taplin // The Quick Strike (via afadthatlastsforever)
Am I That Stupid?
I’m just curious if anyone has ever fallen head over heels in love with someone after only knowing them for a short time.
I met him once over the past months, and I felt an immediate attraction. You could almost say it was love at first sight. However, I am not sure that it is a mutual feeling.
It has been a few weeks, so I may be rushing to conclusions, but, I would like to know something about how he feels about me, even the smallest detail would be nice.
I figure it will probably fade away eventually, but, I miss him, and, can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t think I have ever felt this strongly about anyone I have met.
I don’t believe in love at first sight but I do believe in seeing someone from across the room and knowing instantly that they’re going to matter to you. They’re going to play a major role in your life.
Ryan O’Connell (via wordsnquotes)
I like being single right now because all my time is mine. I need to be single for a while so I will not regret not having this kind of freedom in the future. When I’m yours, I’ll be completely yours because I had this time to be mine.
But sometimes I miss being in love. There are days when I wish you can get here faster just so I can have the kind of love that I’ve been waiting for since what feels like forever. But I guess it’s better that you’re not here yet because I don’t know how to be with you right now. I’ll probably say a lot of really stupid things and scare you away.
We are probably different people with diverse interests. But we will make time for what is important to the other because we like making each other happy. Of course, there will be things that we enjoy doing together. We’ll spend most of our time going around the world together, seeing places we’ve only once dreamed of traveling to.
By : Katrina Tamondong