The impossible garden grows, and so does Sukuna's interest in his third wife. But confusion clouds his desireโhe seeks comfort in familiar arms while drawn to your chambers. Ningning watches his divided attention with growing desperation. In a palace where love is a weapon, you offer something far more dangerous: genuine acceptance.
WC: 2,838โโโใโ masterlist
The camellia became a conversation piece.
Within a week, the entire palace knew about itโthe impossible flower blooming in the dead of winter, a gift from an emperor who'd never given gifts before. Servants whispered about it in corridors. Concubines eyed it with barely concealed jealousy when they passed your garden.
You simply tended it with the same gentle care you showed everything else.
"It's beautiful, my lady," Haerin said softly one morning, kneeling beside you as you checked the soil moisture. She'd grown bolder over the past week, speaking without prompting, even smiling occasionally. "The petals are so delicate."
You touched one pale pink petal, marveling at its softness. "Camellias symbolize devotion," you murmured. "And eternal love in some cultures."
Both girls went very still.
"Do you think..." Haerin started, then stopped, biting her lip.
"Do I think what?"
"Do you think the Emperor meant it that way?" she finished in a rush, her cheeks flushing. "Or was it just... a whim?"
You considered the question carefully. In the week since Sukuna's midnight visit, you'd seen him only twiceโonce from a distance as he walked through the palace grounds with his advisors, and once when he'd passed by your garden, pausing just long enough to ensure the camellia still lived before continuing on without a word.
But you'd heard things. Whispers from servants about where he spent his nights.
The concubines' wing.
"I think," you said slowly, "that even whims can mean something. And I think that a man who's spent his life destroying things doesn't accidentally create beauty."
Danielle's eyes went soft. "You like him."
It wasn't a question.
"I don't know him well enough to like or dislike him," you replied honestly. "But I'm... curious about him. About who he is when he's not being the monster everyone expects."
"The second empress was terrified of him," Haerin whispered. "She used to have nightmares."
"And the first?"
"Angry," Danielle said. "Always angry. She hated that he had concubines, hated that he wouldn't give them up for her. She made everyone miserable until he finally sent her away."
You hummed thoughtfully, returning your attention to the camellia. "Fear and anger. Both are exhausting emotions to maintain. Maybe that's why neither marriage lasted."
"And you, my lady?" Haerin asked. "What emotion do you feel toward him?"
You smiled. "Hope, I suppose. Hope that under all that power and violence, there's something worth knowing."
A voice like dark honey interrupted: "Careful, little empress. Hope is dangerous in a place like this."
You looked up to find Ningning standing at the garden entrance, wrapped in furs despite the braziers warming the space. She looked immaculate as alwaysโher hair perfectly arranged, her robes the deep red that Sukuna reportedly favored. But there was something sharper in her expression today. Something almost... hungry.
"Ningning," you greeted warmly. Danielle and Haerin immediately bowed, but you gestured for them to continue working. "You're welcome to join us, if you'd like. We're planning the spring layout."
"In winter," she said, echoing her words from before. But this time there was less mockery in her tone and more assessment. Her eyes lingered on the camellia with an expression you couldn't quite read. "You really believe spring will come, don't you?"
"It always does," you replied simply. "Even after the longest winters."
She studied you for a long moment, then surprised you by actually stepping into the garden, kneeling across from you with practiced grace. Up close, you noticed the faint shadows under her eyes, the tightness around her mouth.
"The other concubines think you're playing a game," she said. "Being sweet and gentle to manipulate him."
"And what do you think?"
"I think," Ningning said slowly, her fingers trailing over the frozen earth, "that you're either the smartest woman I've ever met, or the most genuine. I haven't decided which is more dangerous."
You laughed softly. "Can't I be both?"
Despite herself, Ningning smiled. But it didn't reach her eyes. "Maybe." She reached out, touching the camellia with careful fingersโtoo careful, like she wanted to crush it but was restraining herself. "He's never given any of us flowers. In two years, he's never... created anything for me."
There was something raw in her voice. Something that spoke of long nights waiting, of hope repeatedly crushed.
"Perhaps he didn't know how," you offered gently. "Some people spend so long being weapons that they forget they can be anything else."
Ningning's eyes snapped to yours, sharp and assessing. "You're trying to see him as human."
"Isn't he?"
"That's what the first wife thought. And the second. They both tried to find humanity in him." Her expression softened slightly, but there was something brittle in it. "They both failed."
"Maybe they were looking in the wrong places," you said. "Or maybe they were trying to create something that wasn't there instead of nurturing what was."
Haerin and Danielle had stopped working entirely, listening with rapt attention.
Ningning stood, brushing dirt from her robes with deliberate movements. "You're strange," she said, echoing Sukuna's words. "But I'm beginning to think that's not a bad thing." She paused at the garden entrance, and when she looked back, there was something almost wistful in her expression. "He came to me last night. After he visited you."
Your hands stilled on the soil.
"He does that sometimes," she continued, her voice carefully neutral. "Seeks comfort in familiar places when something... confuses him." Her smile was sharp. "I know his body better than anyone in this palace, little empress. Every scar, every preference, every sound he makes when heโ"
"Ningning," you interrupted gently, not unkindly. "I'm not competing with you."
That seemed to surprise her. "You're his wife."
"And you're someone he trusts enough to be vulnerable with," you replied. "That's not nothing. That's... actually quite significant."
She stared at you like you'd spoken a foreign language. "You're not angry?"
"Why would I be angry? I've been married to him for barely two weeks. You've known him for two years." You smiled softly. "I'd be a fool to expect him to change his entire life for someone he barely knows."
Something flickered across Ningning's faceโconfusion, maybe respect, maybe something darker. "You really are different from the others."
"So I've been told."
After she left, Danielle leaned closer to you, her voice worried. "My lady... was that wise? She basically told you she's sleeping with your husband."
"She told me she's sleeping with the Emperor," you corrected. "There's a difference. One is a political position. The other is... something that has to be earned."
Haerin bit her lip. "But doesn't it hurt? Knowing he's with her?"
You considered the question honestly. "A little," you admitted. "But I'd rather know the truth than live in ignorance. And I'd rather build something real, slowly, than demand something false immediately."
What you didn't tell them was that Ningning's revelation had actually solidified something in your mind: Sukuna was searching for something. And whatever it was, he hadn't found it yetโnot in Ningning's practiced seduction, not in the first wife's demands, not in the second wife's shallow devotion.
But maybe, just maybe, he might find it in your patient companionship.
You didn't see Sukuna for several more days.
But you heard about him.
The servants whispered about his increased visits to the concubines' wing. Three nights in a row, he'd spent hours thereโwith Ningning mostly, but occasionally with others. It was unusual, they said. He typically visited once, maybe twice a week, and never stayed long.
Now he was there almost every night.
"He's running," Haerin said quietly one evening as she brushed your hair. "From whatever he felt when he gave you that flower."
"Let him run," you replied calmly, though your heart ached slightly. "He'll stop when he's ready."
"And if he doesn't?"
"Then I'll have a beautiful garden and two wonderful attendants," you said, squeezing her hand. "That's more than many people have."
But that night, alone in your chambers, you stood by the window and looked at the camellia blooming in the moonlight. You touched the glass, breath fogging it.
"Take your time," you whispered to the night, to him, to yourself. "I'm not going anywhere."
Sukuna came to you on the tenth night.
You were reading by candlelightโa book of poetry Danielle had found in the palace libraryโwhen his presence filled the doorway. This time, you didn't startle. You'd almost been expecting him.
"Sukuna," you greeted, setting down your book. "It's late."
"It's my palace," he replied, stepping inside. "I go where I please, when I please."
He smelled like jasmine and something muskier. Ningning's perfume, you realized. He'd come straight from her chambers to yours.
You didn't comment on it.
"Of course." You gestured to the cushion across from you. "Would you like to sit? I was just reading."
He stared at the offered seat like it was a trap. "The others never invited me to sit."
"Did they invite you to do anything?"
"The second one invited me to her bed often enough," he said bluntly, watching for your reaction.
You didn't flinch. "And the first?"
"Screamed at me, mostly. About how I was neglecting her for the concubines. About how I was a terrible husband." He moved closer, but didn't sit. Instead, he prowled around your chambers like a caged beast, taking in the small changes you'd madeโbooks stacked neatly on shelves, a vase of winter branches on the table, your garden visible through the open screen despite the cold.
"You've made this place..." he paused, searching for words. "Softer."
"Is that bad?"
"It's different." He stopped in front of the garden screen, staring at the camellia he'd created. "You haven't asked about where I've been."
"I know where you've been," you said simply. "The servants talk."
He turned to face you, something dangerous in his expression. "And?"
"And what?"
"You're not angry? Not going to weep and wail about how I'm betraying you?"
"Are you betraying me?" you asked calmly. "We barely know each other, Sukuna. You owe me nothing beyond the basic courtesy of our arrangement."
He moved toward you with predatory speed, looming over you. "You should be jealous. Furious. You're my wife."
"I am," you agreed, setting your book aside and standing to face him. You had to tilt your head back to meet his eyes. "But you're not mine yet. Not really. That's something that has to be built, not demanded."
"Ningning said you weren't competing with her."
"I'm not."
"Why not?" His voice was almost angry now. "She's beautiful. Experienced. She knows exactly how toโ"
"Because I don't want to win you like a prize," you interrupted softly. "I want you to choose me. When you're ready. If you're ever ready." You reached up, touching his face gently. He froze at the contact. "I want you to come to me not because I'm your wife, but because I'm the person you want to be with."
His jaw clenched under your palm. "You're infuriating."
"I've been told that before."
"Ningning is obsessed with me," he said suddenly, brutally honest. "Has been since I first took her to bed. She watches me constantly. Arranges herself to catch my attention. Perfects herself to be exactly what she thinks I want."
"That sounds exhausting."
"It is," he admitted. "But it's also... familiar. Easy. I know what she wants from me."
"And what do I want from you?"
He stared at you for a long moment. "I don't know. That's what terrifies me."
Your heart squeezed. "I want you to be yourself," you said gently. "Monster, emperor, manโall of it. I want honesty more than perfection. Companionship more than passion. Though," you smiled slightly, "I wouldn't say no to passion eventually."
He made a sound low in his throatโnot quite a laugh, not quite a growl. "You're dangerous."
"How so?"
"Because you make me want things I gave up on centuries ago." His hand came up to cover yours, still pressed against his face. "Hope. Companionship. Something that isn't just power and conquest and fleeting pleasure."
"Is that so terrible?"
"It is when I don't know how to have it without destroying it." He pulled your hand away but didn't release it. "I'm not a good man."
"I know."
"I killed three people today. Slowly. Because they annoyed me."
"I know."
"I'll probably kill more tomorrow."
"I know," you repeated patiently. "You're an emperor. A curse. A monster. You've told me this already."
"And it doesn't bother you?"
You considered your words carefully. "It bothers me that killing is necessary in your world. But I also understand that you're who you areโyou've survived this long by being exactly this. I'm not asking you to change, Sukuna. I'm just asking you to let me see all of who you areโthe violence and the flowers. The monster and the man."
He was quiet for so long you wondered if you'd said the wrong thing. Then: "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why do you want to see all of me? Most people prefer the monsterโat least that's predictable."
You stepped closer, close enough that you had to tilt your head back to maintain eye contact. "Because I think the man is far more interesting than the monster. And because everyone deserves to be seen for who they really are, not just what they can do."
His other hand came up to cup your face, thumb brushing your cheekbone. "I spent last night with Ningning. And the night before. And the night before that."
"I know."
"She does this thing with her tongueโ"
"Sukuna," you interrupted gently, "I don't need the details."
"You should," he insisted, something almost desperate in his voice. "You should be disgusted. Angry. You should hate me for it."
"Why do you want me to hate you?"
The question seemed to break something in him. "Because that would be easier. Because I know how to handle hate. I don't know how to handle... this."
"This?"
"You," he said roughly. "Your patience. Your gentleness. Your complete refusal to be what I expect." He leaned down, his breath warm against your lips. "You terrify me."
"Good," you whispered. "You terrify me too. I think that means we're even."
He kissed you then.
It wasn't gentleโSukuna didn't know how to be gentle. But it was different from what you'd expected. There was desperation in it, yes, but also something like wonder. Like he was trying to understand you through touch since words kept failing.
You kissed him back, rising on your toes to meet him, your free hand coming up to rest against his chest. Under your palm, you could feel his heart racing.
When he pulled back, his eyes were wild. "I don't understand you."
"You don't have to understand me," you said, slightly breathless. "You just have to trust that I'm not going anywhere."
"Everyone goes somewhere eventually."
There was something haunted in his voice. Something that spoke of abandonment and loss and too many people who'd feared or hated or tried to use him.
"Then I'll be here until I can't be," you said firmly. "And while I'm here, I'm yours. Completely."
He made a sound low in his throatโnot quite a growl, not quite a groan. "You shouldn't promise things like that."
"Why not?"
"Because I'll hold you to it." His grip tightened slightly. "I don't let go of what's mine."
"Good," you said simply. "Neither do I."
He stared at you for another long moment, then released you, stepping back. "I should go."
"You don't have to."
"I do." He moved toward the door, then paused. "The garden. Plant whatever you want. I'll make sure it grows."
Your breath caught. "Sukunaโ"
"And your servants," he continued, not looking back. "Haerin and Danielle. They're yours now. Permanently. Anyone who bothers them answers to me."
Warmth flooded your chest. "Thank you."
He left without another word, but you noticed his steps were slower. Less certain.
Like maybe, just maybe, he didn't actually want to leave.
The next morning, the garden had transformed.
Not just your small plotโthe entire courtyard outside your chambers. Winter flowers bloomed in impossible profusion: camellias in white and pink, winter jasmine trailing up the walls, early plum blossoms scenting the air with delicate sweetness.
Haerin and Danielle found you standing in the center of it all, tears streaming down your face.
"My lady!" Danielle rushed forward. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"
"No," you laughed, wiping your eyes. "No, I'm... this is beautiful. He did this. For me."
Haerin turned in a slow circle, taking it all in. "The entire palace is talking about it. They're saying the Emperor has gone mad."
"Let them talk," you said softly, touching a plum blossom with reverent fingers.
What you didn't see was Ningning, watching from a distant window.
Her hands clenched on the windowsill, knuckles white.
He'd never made flowers bloom for her. Never created anything beautiful in her name. She'd spent two years perfecting herself for himโlearning his preferences, anticipating his needs, being everything she thought he wanted.
And this... this quiet, gentle woman had received more from him in two weeks than Ningning had in two years.
"My lady?" her own servant asked quietly. "Are you well?"
Ningning's smile was sharp. Dangerous. "Perfectly well. Just... admiring the Empress's garden."
But inside, something dark and desperate was taking root.
She'd had his attention first. She'd been the one he returned to, night after night. She'd been special.
And she'd be damned if she let some outsider take that away from her.
"Prepare my evening attire," she told her servant. "The red silk. The one he likes best."
If the Emperor was confused, she'd remind him exactly what he'd be giving up if he chose his wife over his favorite concubine.
And if that didn't work...
Well.
Ningning had survived this long by being adaptable.
And she wasn't above ensuring her competition faced... complications.
SUMMARY โ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirtingโgod, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING โ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS โ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
summary: getting knocked up by your older brotherโs fratbro wasn't exactly apart of your five year plan. least of all with notorious fuck boy ryomen sukuna.
pairing: frat!kuna x reader
content: everything in this series is considered 18+ so not minor friendly! contains mature content such as rough sex, breeding, spanking, spit play, light hitting, lactation kink, descriptive child birth, postpartum depression, probably more
wc: 7.3k
dividers by: @petalpxl | series masterlist | art by lorinmower | part one
Your entire body tensed as you looked at the pregnancy test in your hand and the ten others around your bed. Positive. All of them were fucking positive and you thought you might pass out. How did this happen? I mean you knew who the father was but how could something like this happen when you were on birth control? You specifically started it before that party to stop something like this from happening.ย
You hadn't gotten your period in three months but that was far from concerning since youโve suffered from irregular periods since you first got them. So it wasn't really cause for concern as you once went six months without one. This time was different as its absence was eventually accompanied with nausea, extreme tiredness and weird cravings like dipping your nuggets in ice cream.You only thought to take a test after Shoko and Utahime joked in your group chat that maybe you were pregnant and you freaked out and bought eleven pregnancy tests. All rapid results.ย
There was only one person that could be the father. Ryomen Sukuna, your adopted brothers fratbro that you all but threw yourself on at the end of the year pool party. You could still remember the day, it had been the best fuck of your life and stupidly, you didnโt tell him to put on a condom, confident in the birth control you had started taking a week prior. You even took a plan b after that night, for extra protection.ย ย
Now here you were, spending the last day of your summer break sitting in your obgynโs office instead of going to another one of those parties, listening to her explain how the specific birth control you were on requires a full seven to eight days to be fully effective and you were right at that mark when you decided to let Sukuna fuck you stupid without protection. You were laughing, pulling at your hair while tears poured down your face. You looked and felt like you were spiraling.
โAs for the plan b.. sometimes these things just donโt work properly, I'm truly sorry.โ Your doctor explained as gently as possible, but it was background noise at this point.ย
You had shit luck, a dark curse that wouldnโt step off your fucking neck. I mean, you couldnโt even get fucked after a year of celibacy without getting pregnant! You could still feel the way his hands burned against your skin as he caressed your entire body and fucked you dumb. You wondered what he was doing now, if he even remembered you out of the sea of women he probably fucked over break.ย
God, you felt like the world's biggest clown. Ryomen Sukuna of all people got you pregnant on his first try, a cruel joke really. Nanami had warned you about all of his frat brothers before you moved to town a few months before summer break, constantly calling to tell you how immature and reckless they were and how he wished he never joined the fraternity. You would giggle, never taking him too seriously because you knew just how much he cared about them from the sheer amount of times heโd talk about them.ย
โSukuna has another woman over, itโs been a week of nonstop moaning! I share a wall with the prick, you would think heโd have the decency to tell his dates to not be so loud.โ Heโd complain and in the same breath, compliment the man and his athletic skills. One time youโd been on the phone with Nanami and you heard loud groaning obviously coming from a woman before your brother yelled Iโm gonna kill you Sukuna! apologizing and hanging up before you could respond.
Needless to say your curiosity in the mystery man peaked and when you saw him at the party, you could hardly control yourself. You had seen a few pictures of him on Nanamiโs social media but he was a different beast in person. Tall enough to tower over everyone, bulging muscles that had you wondering what theyโd feel like around your neck, and his face tattoos were a total turn on.
You noticed him watching you, red eyes glaring daggers at every man you danced with and so you put on a show in an attempt to get him to talk to you but he kept his distance the entire night. So when he finally did speak to youโeven if it was to curse you out for drinking his waterโ no one could actually blame you for letting him drag you to his room and fuck you into the mattress.ย
โBased on the time you say you were last sexually active, Iโd put you around the fourteen weeks mark but I want to set you up with our ultrasound tech so we can measure the baby and get an accurate due date for you.โย
You nodded absently, your entire body chilled and your hands shaking as they began to sweat. You didnโt know anything about taking care of a child! You were about to be a junior in college and only just decided on your major before the cut off, how would you make decisions about another life? Your baby.. Sukunaโs baby.ย
You should tell him, of course you should but what the fuck would you even say? You knew his reputation and you still slept with him anyways. There was no way someone like him would ever step up, play pretend at being a family, want anything to do with you or the child. Thereโs a strong possibility heโd transfer schools before he did that. Nothing about him screamed father material.
Your mind was running wild and only a soft hand atop of yours pulled you from the deep pit you found yourself stuck in. You looked up, teary eyes attempting to focus on your doctor as she smiled sympathetically at you.ย
โThere are other options.โ
Three hours later you stood in front of the mirror in your dorm room, shirt pushed above your belly just enough to see that while your stomach was mostly the same size, if you stared long enough you could make out a very small bump. A very real reminder of the night you shared with Sukuna.
You lowered your shirt and looked at the photo in your hand, fighting down the wave of nausea that hit you without warning. The thing hardly looked human, more alien like than anything but you were able to make out the little head and the nubs for hands and feet. In another life you may have found it kinda cute but instead it made you sick.
You didnโt have a maternal bone in your body, there was no way you could be a mother to this thing, and yet you still hadnโt scheduled that appointment with the clinic your doctor recommended. Telling yourself that Sukuna deserved to at least know before you went through with anything, since it was his child too.ย
You had to force yourself out of bed the next day. It was the first day of classes, almost eighty degrees outside and you were wearing a hoodie with sweatpants, barely throwing your hair in a messy bun and totally forgoing makeup. Your roommate Yuki had looked at you like you grew an extra head, asking if you were trying to pass out but you only shrugged and moved your bag up your shoulder. How were you supposed to tell her that all of the clothes you had were skin tight and would definitely show the new bump you were sporting seemingly overnight?ย
โYou look like death.โ She looped her arm with yours and pulled you out the door.
As you walk through campus together, youโre hyperaware of everything. The side eyes people give you, the nausea settling in your stomach, the way your heart thumps a little harder as you get closer to the building your lecture hall is in. You wondered if anyone could tell, if youโd bump into him. It was bound to happen but you wanted to push it off for as long as you could.
You hadnโt even seen or talked to your own brother since you found out, fucking terrified at his reaction because Nanami would absolutely be able to tell. The man never missed anythingย when it came to you, ever the protective brother since the day your parents brought you home from the police station. You were grateful he spent his summer abroad.ย
โYouโre awfully quiet today.โ Yuki hummed, pulling you into the building. You were grateful she was there, having grown close to her when Shoko introduced you two after she found out youโd be transferring to their school. If not for her steady grip on your arm, you might have dropped to your knees when a head of pink hair appeared in the hall.ย
Walking into the exact fucking class you were. He looked the same, maybe a little tanner from the summer heat but he was still the same person. Still looming over everyone around him, sunglasses atop his head that pushed his pink hair back, same tattoos but it looked like he added a few extra to his arms, dressed in a black shirt that showed off every muscle, and grey pants.
You froze, heart racing as he disappeared through the doors. Fuck, could your day get any worse? You had no plans on seeing him today but you also couldnโt skip the first lecture of this class. The professor was known to be a notoriously harsh grader and you couldnโt afford to miss even the most miniscule of information. God fucking dammit.ย ย
โHey, you okay?โ Shit, youโd forgotten Yuki was with you, the sight of Sukuna making your brain fog with nothing but him and the little souvenir he left you. The one that had your stomach churning as you attempted to fight back the rising bile.ย
โYeah sorry.โ You give her a false smile, choosing to ignore the way her scrunched up face said she didnโt believe you but would drop it for now.ย
Walking into the room took every ounce of strength you had, your only saving grace being that the room was crowded which meant you could blend in easily and avoid your baby daddy. Your entire body was chilled from the fear of having to tell him the truth, you hadnโt even practiced what you planned to say to him. Hello! I know you probably donโt remember me but we hooked up a few months ago. I'm pregnant and itโs yours, surprise!ย
You inwardly cringed and snapped back to reality.ย
Intro to Programming was a relatively popular elective so you shouldnโt have been surprised to see him there. You had planned to hide away in the back, keep your head down and pray to god he didnโt turn and see you. Again, you had terrible luck because as soon as you turned to find a seat in the top row, he was already sitting in the middle, arms crossed, legs wide open and scowling at everyone and no one at the same time. And right next to him was the second person you wanted to avoid today, your brother.ย
Fuck fuck fuck! Before you could make a run for it, Nanami spotted you and Yuki was pulling away and yelling โChoso!โ before leaving you to fend for yourself. You were stuck, face burning while standing there like an idiot as other students pushed past you, shooting you glares for being in their way.ย
Nanami was smiling and waving you over, pointing to the free seat on the other side of Sukuna that you absolutely were not going to sit in. Then he turned his head, red eyes staring through your soul and the smirk that he gave you had your head spinning, a familiar ache forming between your legs. God, you felt so pathetic. Here you were, simultaneously about to throw up and cum at the sight of the man that had completely rocked your world.ย
Looking around the room, you noticed the other seats were filled and the room was quieting as the professor started making their way to the podium. Fuck my fucking life! You were left with no choice but to squeeze your way into the top row, mumbling apologies to the people you passed before flopping your ass into the seat next to Sukuna. Making a point to ignore his and your brother's gaze.ย
โYou okay (name)? I tried calling you twice yesterday but youโre avoiding me for some reason.โ Nanami was clearly hurt, you could see his pouty face from your peripheral view, however you didnโt have the bandwidth to be a good sister right now. Barely had the energy to breathe as you were actively fighting back the vomit rising in your throat, stomach flipping as Sukunaโs cologne clouded your senses.ย
You pulled your laptop and water bottle from your bag before placing it at your feet. You ignored your brother and started chugging from it, grateful that it was just barely delaying the massive puking session you knew was coming. With enough of your senses returned, you looked to your brother, ignoring the goliath of a man sitting between you two. You could feel his eyes on you and it was overwhelming, almost like he had an extra set of eyes beckoning you to look at him.ย
Before you could even respond, Sukuna was speaking and your entire body went cold. You forgot how deep and masculine his voice was, how addicted you had been to it while he was calling you a good girl and fucking your brains out. Reaching depths no one else ever had..
โWhoโs your friend Nanami?โ You couldn't stop yourself from staring at him, metaphorical hearts all but forming in your eyes at the way he was already looking at you. Fireworks were exploding in your chest. This man was pretending he didnโt know you, as if you hadnโt spent your entire summer thinking about the way he dominated you and left you forever changed. As if his child wasnโt growing in your belly right now as a result of the reckless night you shared together almost four months ago.ย
โMy sister.โ Nanami hesitated, a look of wariness on his face and you knew it was because he didnโt want you having anything to do with his frat brothers. If only he knew. โSukuna this is (name), (name) this is Sukuna. I told you about him, weโre in the same fraternity together and both play for the schoolโs soccer team.โย
Sukuna licked his lips, fighting back a smile before unfolding his arms and sticking his huge hand towards you. โNice to meet you.โย
Oh my god, you were going to combust. You had to shake his hand, lest Nanami became suspicious but you were too busy staring into his eyes like he painted the damn sky, your breath hitched and panties absolutely starting to soak. You blamed your heightened attraction to him on the pregnancy. Not that you were a whipped whore who got off to the thought of him breeding you more times than you cared to remember, and craved for him to do it again.ย
โClass is starting.โ Nanami frowns at you then Sukuna before turning to the professor that was lecturing students about her expectations of them.ย
Sukuna lowered his hand but the smirk on his face never faded. He shot you a wink before turning to face the front of the class, leaving you a mess of blushes and trembling legs.ย
About forty minutes into the lecture, you couldnโt hold the vomit in anymore. You didnโt even have time to grab your stuff before you were bolting upright and sprinting out the room, your hand pressed against your mouth in an attempt to keep it in until you reached the bathroom. The universe was on your side because there had been one right around the corner and you apologetically pushed past a dark haired girl, bursting into a stall before falling over the toilet and hurling up the puke that had been antagonizing you for the past hour. You couldnโt hear her cursing you out over the sound of your stomach emptying.ย
You hadnโt really eaten much so you were mostly left dry heaving after a few seconds, sweat beading on your forehead and your entire body shaking. You didnโt know how long you were in there but when the dizziness finally passed, you weakly stood and flushed the toilet.ย
Looking at yourself in the mirror was hard. You hadnโt done your makeup so you had dark spots under your eyes, your skin absent of any warmth and your hair a mess. Everything about this sucked and you couldnโt help but admire the strength of all the mothers out there. You felt like you were on your death bed, moving your shaky hands to fix your hair until it was decent enough for you to walk out the bathroom with some kind of confidence.ย
Only you immediately paused as you saw Sukuna standing across the hall, leaned against the wall with your bag in his hand and his own thrown over his shoulder, glasses still pushed atop his head and the sight had you instantly panicking. You couldnโt just run away, he had your shit.ย
Then he was looking up, holding your bag out to you and grinning like he checkmated you, and now you would be forced to acknowledge him. Your fingers digging into your palms hard enough to leave a mark but you could hardly feel it as your brain had reprogrammed itself to ignore anything that wasnโt him.ย
โAvoding me?โ He pushed himself off the wall and moved to stand in front you as you slowly moved out of the bathroom entrance and stepped into the hallway. โYou sick or some shit?โ He handed you your bag back, explaining that he put the stuff you left in there.ย
Yes and itโs your fault you fucking prick. Is what you wanted to say but instead you took the bag and mumbled a โthanksโ before hooking it around your shoulder. You ignored his second comment, knowing you couldn't really answer that question without sending him running the opposite way. Far away from you and any responsibility toward your group project.ย
โIโm perfectly fine.โ A lie. โWhereโs Nanami?โย
He frowned before reaching a hand toward your face and tucking a loose strand behind your ear, watching as you took in a sharp breath. He let his hand trace your jaw before his thumb rubbed over your lip and you were overwhelmed with the urge to grab his hand and move it to where you actually needed him to touch you. What was it about this man that left you so dense? Your body had never reacted like this before, not even to your ex boyfriend who youโd been with for two years.
Sukuna was some kind of sex demon that left you slutted out and craving for more. You didnโt even care that people passing by were looking, and he obviously didn't either as he let his hand fall, grazing the crest between your breasts and then your stomach.ย
You quickly stepped back at that, not wanting him to get so close to the truth without having told him yourself. HIs face was neutral, he didn't look like he suspected anything but you could never be too sure.ย
โHe had another class to get to, said heโd reach out later. Wanna answer my question now?โย
You didnโt but the man was persistent and you were entirely too weak for him. Sukuna was not the boyfriend type and if the rumors around campus were true, he never fucked the same person twice so you would be wasting your time indulging in his antics.ย
โIโm not avoiding you.โ
โMmm, yeah? Prove it.โ His eyes trailed lazily over your face and you suddenly regretted not doing your makeup today, too lost to your mind to function properly.ย
โSukuna..โ You pouted at his twitching lips that you stopped yourself from leaning forward and kissing. โDonโt you have like fifty other girls lined up to fuck? Iโm not interested.โย
He laughed at that but it was low and full of lust, and the vibrations it sent through your body had your pussy clinching against nothing but hopes and dreams. You were confused at the fact that he was even talking to you right now. It went against everything youโd been told about him.ย
โWho said I wanted to fuck you? Maybe I just wanna be friends with you, who knows? I guess youโll find out when you stop by the house for our party tonight.โย
He started walking away before looking over his shoulder one last time. โWear that little attitude again too. Was cute watching it disappear last time.โ
Later that night while you were sprawled against your bed, panting into the pillow as youโd just got done throwing up again, Sukuna was laughing to himself at the party. You hadnโt shown, just like he thought you wouldnโt, because you were avoiding him, just as he said you were.ย
He shouldnโt have cared but he did, which is why he was able to convince a very drunk Yuki who was clinging to Choso like a koala, to tell him how to get to your dorm. She grilled him at first, clearly protective of you but a little convincing from his emo friend and she was singing.ย
Sukuna typically didnโt care to fuck the same woman twice, telling himself that shit was for loser that couldnโt pull more than one girl but that urge he had for you hadnโt been tamed over his very long break and he needed to be inside of you. If only to get your nagging presence out his head. He told himself heโd never talk to you again after this, one more fuck and heโd be satisfied enough to move onto the next woman. You werenโt special, just a nuisance, an itch that needed to be scratched and thatโs why he was standing outside of your room right now.ย
The knock that came at your door had you groaning into your pillow before looking at your phone that read 11:53 pm and sighing in annoyance. Yuki must have forgotten her key because no one else would be at your door at this time, unless the numerous texts to Nanami that you were fine hadnโt been enough and he decided to harass you in person for answers.ย
โIโm coming!โ You yelled when the person knocked again, a little louder this time. You banged your head against your pillow before standing, pulling down your rising strawberry spaghetti strap shirt and turning on the lamp by your bed. It had been pitch black as you nursed a headache you developed from the sheer force of the last vomit session you had two hours ago.
Once you got to the door, you looked through the hole and immediately threw your back to it. What in the fuck was he doing here? OH MY GOD, why wouldnโt he leave you alone? Your heart was pounding in your ears as you listened to him chuckle and talk from the other side while you actively fought the urge to shrivel up and die.ย
โCโmon sweetheart, I know youโre in there. You flicking it or something?โ And you were definitely going to die, not murderously but from the pure embarrassment you felt that he knew you were hiding from him, and oh- how the fuck did he find your room or even manage to get in the building?ย
โYou scared of me?โย
You finally snap and unlock the door, pulling it open roughly as he smiles at you. โThere she is.โ and you hate how quickly your pulse jumps, how your body instantly reacts to his teasing and most of all, that you had never wanted him to fuck you more.ย
He was dressed in black jeans, a white shirt and a black leather jacket with his hat on backwards. It was such a simple outfit but it had your pussy throbbing, his cologne hitting you in waves that had you instantly lusting.ย
โWhat do you want, Sukuna? I already told you-โ
โYouโre not interested. I heard you, but I donโt believe that. Not when you were looking at me in class like you wanted to climb me right there. I fuck you too hard last time or what?โย
The question left you stunned at his straightforwardness, his eyebrow arched as he waited for you to answer. This man was dead serious and so full of himself, he was going to be the death of you.ย
โYouโre insane.โ You huff and move over to let him in.ย
โAnd you look beautiful.โย
You laugh at that, genuinely laugh because you know you look a hot mess right now. Your hair was left to its own devices after your shower, your eyes were dark from the lack of sleep and you were wearing old pajamas that barely fit you, shorts rising up your ass even after you yank them back down. You were sure to keep your arms folded in front of you, in case he decided to stare too hard at your stomach. You shouldnโt have let him in.
โYou think flirting with me is gonna work?โย
He steps all the way inside and closes the door, only about 5 inches off from being as tall as it is. You swallowed hard, trying to forget how it felt having his body between your legs, long fingers stretching you open after a year of not getting fucked.ย
โDonโt have to work that hard anymore, I already slept with you.โย
And the cocky bastard grins while your ears practically catch fire, moving closer until he was towering over you and grabbing your waist in his hands. You didnโt stop him as he pulled you closer and rubbed circles against your hips, though he was entirely too close to your stomach. No, you were too busy staring at the man as if he were the creator himself, eyes wide and glossy as you lost yourself in his red ones.ย
โYou bast-hmmmโย
Sukuna doesnโt let you finish, smashing his lips against yours and itโs somehow even more aggressive than it was the first time, teeth and tongue colliding as he squeezes your waist and easily lifts you. Your legs wrap around his waist as if that were home and your arms moved to his neck, hand ripping his hat off and playing with his hair.ย
โI need you, give me more.โ And the desperation in his voice has you moaning and throwing your head back while he licked and sucked on your pulse, hands moving to hold your ass as he walked you to the bed that smelled most like you.ย
You were surprised at the gentleness he showed while laying you down, because Sukuna was anything but sweet last time. He had fucked you like a god but he was taking his time now, peppering your face with soft kisses before he was sitting up and shrugging his jacket and shoes off.ย
When you went to sit up and help, he pushed you back down by the shoulder. โTsk tsk, we have all night for that. I didnโt get to taste you last time and Iโve been thinking about how sweet you probably are all fucking summer. Donโt move until I tell you to, mkay?โย
And of course, you were nodding your head like a dumbass and watching as he removed his shirt like your life depended on it. You barely fucking blinked, eyes burning and Sukuna chuckled, โGood girl.โ
Once he was left in nothing but his boxers, he grabbed onto the waistband of your shorts and pulled them and your panties off, throwing them on the floor behind him before crawling over you again. His huge body hovering over yours as he kisses you softly, licking and biting your bottom lip before kissing his way down your neck, your hand on his head encouraging him.ย ย
Sukuna stopped at your covered breasts, kissing at each of them and promising he would give them attention later. The comment alone had your juices trickling down your thighs and he hadnโt even fucked you yet. You only realized what he was doing once he kissed your stomach and his entire body froze. Your heart was basically in your ass at this point, looking down at him as he stared up at you with a frown.ย
โWhat?โ You moved to sit up, an excuse already on the tip of your tongue before he pushed you back, blinking himself out of his stupor.ย
โFuck- sorry, I spaced out, sโnothing. Where were we?โย
You didnโt have time to grill him because he was lowering his face between your legs, eyes locked on you the entire time. You audibly gasped when he lifted each of your thighs and placed them on his shoulders.ย
โFucking starving, pretty. Can I eat you, please?โย
You nodded your head so fast you felt dizzy, choking out a โP-please!โ and this man was such a beast that he didnโt give himself any buildup, immediately put his lips over your pussy and slurped hard, mouth wide open as he drank all the juices youโd been dripping for him.
โOh-fuck, y-yess Ryo, just like that.โ You cried out, completely clueless as to why everytime this man was on you, you were calling him by his first name. He didnโt seem bothered by it, humming against your sweet sweet cunt before licking a long stripe and focusing on your clit.ย
He was sucking and moving his head in circles, tongue pressed flat against the nub and he was literally trying to smother himself against your pussy, holding your waist and pulling you tight against him as he consumed you whole. Youโd think your juices were actually filling him up.
โ Sโgoodโ he mumbled but you had no idea what he was saying with his face buried between your thighs.
Your moans were something out of a porno as you reached down and threaded your fingers into his pink locs, pulling and riding his face. He was flicking his tongue so good, up and down, side to side, spelling his name and letting it slide into your hole, moving it in and out. He was a pro pussy eater and after only a minute of the motion, your stomach was squeezing and pussy contracting, oozing juices into his mouth and his eyes were rolling back as he groaned in encouragement.
โIโm- c-cumingggg Ryo, uhhhh, oh my g-god.โ Your nipples harden as your orgasm ripples through you, feeling every wave of pleasure make your body buzz with excitement, your mouth going dry as you lifted one hand to pinch your nipples, the other still in his hair.ย ย ย
He kept eating you until your legs fell from his shoulders, your hand loosening from his hair and you were breathing hard trying to recover from the mind numbing orgasm youโd just experienced.ย
โCanโt wait baby, need you now.โ
He shifted to push his boxers down just enough to free his cock, laying back over you and spreading your legs as he settled his long body between them. He started rubbing his hard length between your pussy lips, covering his tip in your juices before slowly pushing forward.ย
You were squeezing him so tightly that all Sukuna could do was close his eyes and groan loud, pushing forward in one thrust to bottom out. You cried out as the bed knocked into the wall, and he couldnโt wait for you to adjust, needed you too badly.ย
He was pounding into you so deep, fucking you silly as you cried out his name and begged him to slow down while at the same time wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him closer. He laughed and lowered his head to capture your lips, his tongue dancing with yours and your spit tasted so good it was driving him crazy, making him somehow harder than he already was.
โMmm, you're even wetter than before. Tighter too. You been saving yourself for me, baby? Missed this pretty lil pussy sโmuch.โ His eyes were on yours, waiting for an answer as he fucked into you faster, mouth dropped open and sweat dripping down his forehead.ย
The stare was too intense and made you squirm. Despite how hard he was pounding into you, his eyes were surprisingly soft and it made you feel bad for hiding the truth from him. You tried to close your eyes but he lightly slapped at your face, enough to sting but not actually hurt and your eyes snapped open, upset with yourself for liking it. What was your problem? You would have screamed at anyone else for even thinking to do something so vile, but with him it made your pussy clench harder around his dick.ย
โFucking look at me when Iโm talking to you, slut. Answer me.โย
And you were closing your eyes again, crying out when he put his hands around your neck. Again, he was being uncharacteristically soft with you, barely squeezing and rubbing where his fingers dug into you. โI canโt!โ
โJust try a little harder.โย
Your eyes opened, even though your vision was slightly blurry from the tears pooling in your eyes, his face screamed that he was high on your pussy. Eyebrows furrowed, mouth slightly open, veins in his neck and forehead showing themselves from how hard he was fucking into you and his eyes were only halfway open.ย
โCome baby, tell me. Please.โ The Ryomen Sukuna asking nicely? Hell must have frozen over and you must have been an idiot because you were whimpering out, โIm-, i-m.โ
And he was grabbing your chin, pressing his forehead against yours as he kissed you roughly and pulled back again. โFuck- I already know but I need to hear you say it. Fucking say it, baby. Iโm so close-โ His hips were stuttering as he fought back his orgasm.
โW-what?โ You knew there was no way he knew but your blood still turned cold at the thought. Before he could respond you were gasping and throwing your head back as your second orgasm stole your vision, shirt rising so far up your stomach was left exposed, rubbing against his body and Sukuna was so close he couldnโt breathe.
Before you could stop yourself you screamed out, โIโm pregnant! Ngghh, oh god Iโm fucking pregnant!โย
He groaned loud and fucked you as deep as he could. โFuck yeah you are.โ and Sukuna was shooting the biggest fucking load into you, so heavy that it was instantly leaking out of your creamy pussy and dripping onto the sheets below you. He didnโt care, he kept slamming into you as his vision went momentarily white, lightning bolts going off behind his eyes.
โS-Shit, that feels so fucking good.โ He dropped his head to your neck, slowly thrusting into you, pumping out the last few drops of his high in small snaps of hips.
When he was thoroughly spent, he pulled out of you and fell to the bed next to you, his huge frame taking up most of the room and forcing your body to push against his. The only sound in the room was heaving breathing and the distant bass of music the person a few rooms down from yours was playing. Youโre staring up at the ceiling in awkward silence, heart still hammering when you say the words. Out of all the ways you thought to tell him, that wasnโt one of them.
โI shouldnโt have said that.โ
Sukuna pushes onto his elbow and glares down at you, pink hair sticking to his forehead from the sweat. You shrink from his look but never break contact, biting your lip awkwardly.ย
โYeah no, you definitely should have.โย
Was that betrayal you heard in his voice? You ran a hand down your face and looked away from him because if you didnโt youโd for sure start crying and make him more uncomfortable than he probably already was. Why wasnโt he already out of the door anyways?ย
โItโs fine.โย
He was grabbing your chin roughly and forcing you to look at him, anger blazing in his red eyes. Your anxiety kicked into full gear as your bottom lip trembled.ย
โThe fuck is that supposed to mean?โ He basically growled before loosening his grip but never letting go. He was fucking pissed and obviously struggling to control himself. If the eyes didnโt give it away then his elevated breathing did and you felt so guilty, so fucking guilty at your next words.ย
โIt means I donโt need anything from you, donโt expect anything either.โย
He stares at you for a minute before scoffing in disgust, letting your face go so he could pull his boxers back up and sit up fully, the bed shifting under his weight.ย
โHow long have you known? Is it even mine?โ
You gasped in rage, sitting up and pushing at his chest before standing and finding your clothes. You were fuming as you pulled your panties and shorts back up, glaring at the man as if you were willing his head to explode from looks alone.ย
โOf course itโs yours, you fucking idiot! What do you think, Iโm just letting a bunch of random men cum inside of me? Fuck you dude!โ You were ripping that stupid shirt back down your stomach, furious that it wouldnโt stay fucking put.ย
โI didnโt fucking say that!โ He jumped off the bed, equally as pissed as he put his clothes back on. โI havenโt seen you in months, what the fuck am I supposed to think? How far along are you? I thought you were on birth control!โย
โWell it obviously failed, moron!โ Your arms shake at your side and you wanted to hit him for doing this to you, making you so fucking stupid you forgot to tell him to put a condom on. You pushed at his chest when he moved closer to you, bending to pick up his hat before throwing it at him.ย
โGet the fuck out Ryomen, I donโt want anything to do with you.โย
You gave him your back as your shoulders shook, trying and failing to hold in the tears but never making a sound, you wouldnโt give him that. Fuck that guy.ย
โShit.โ You heard him whisper behind you before you felt his hand on your shoulder, attempting to turn you around but you wouldnโt budge, so he moved around you, standing in front of you and lifting your chin so he could look in your eyes.ย
Tears spilled as your head was tilted back far enough to meet his gaze and you could tell he was still angry, not explosive yet but getting there.
โPlease.. If itโs mine then I deserve to know, canโt fucking keep that from me. Thatโs fucked.โ
And he was right, of course he was. You nodded your head, attempting to push down the rage that was still burning inside of you. You werenโt a little girl, you could talk to him like an adult.
โIโm fourteen weeks, I only found out yesterday. Iโm, s-so ss-sorry.โ You cried out, body shaking as you sobbed and put your hands over your face. Guilt coursed through your veins, you felt it deep in your bones even if you werenโt the only partly responsible. You thought the birth control would work, you didnโt know-
โOk.โ He stepped back and ran his hair through his hair. โAlright, ok. Whatโs the plan?โย
You lowered your hand and sniffled, shock written all over your face because what did that even mean? Why the fuck was he even still here?ย
โWhat?โย
He glared at you as if the question was easy enough to understand. โAre you keeping it, or..โย
You froze. I mean, you hadnโt really made up your mind yet, hadn't given yourself time to think it over as you really didnโt want to acknowledge the thing growing inside of you and you only just found out.ย
โI-I donโt know. I mean, youโre a fratboy and weโre in college-โ
โAnd?โ He cut you off, clearly offended at you mentioning his involvement in a fraternity. What were you supposed to think? He had a reputation and sure as fuck lived up to it.ย
โAnd this doesnโt seem like the kind of things guys like you want.โ
His expression hardened, his own hands balled at his side as he stepped closer to you. โGuys like me?โย
You regret the words but before you can take it back he keeps going, grabbing your arm and pulling you closer. โYou think Iโm some deadbeat loser whoโd disappear the second you said you were pregnant? Because Iโm in a fucking fraternity?!โ
โI donโt know, I donโt fucking know you dude!โย
Sukuna lets you go and laughs against his hand, the other on his hip as he starts to pace. His face was flushed and you hated that he was attractive even when he was angry.
โOk.. alright. Jesus Christ!"ย
You stood there and let him have his meltdown, remembering exactly how you reacted when you found out and feeling empathetic. It took a few minutes before he was calm enough to start talking again and you were grateful because the silence hurt more than anything.ย
โWe should probably exchange numbers right? So you can let me know what you wanna do or whatever. Fuck, I donโt know, Iโm sorry.โ
You frown and cover yourself with your arms, basically hugging your own body and looking around the room. โI donโt think thatโs-โ
He looks you dead in your face and laughs at you, and youโre filled with the urge to hit him but before you can ask what could possibly be so funny, he speaks. โDo you hear yourself, woman? Youโre carrying my child but acting like Iโm crossing some kind of line by asking for your damn number.โย
โI guess that was kind of silly.โ You frown and go to grab your phone from the nightstand, unlocking it and handing it to him. You watched anxiously as he typed in his number and sent himself a text, afraid of what would happen after tonight. Though you were slightly relieved that you werenโt carrying this alone, that the burden was now partially his.ย
โI have to go but I'll be back, yeah?โ He lifted his hand toward your stomach before thinking better of it and letting it fall back to his side.ย
You nodded even though your eyes slightly widened, stomach dropping at the thought of him abandoning you forever but what were you supposed to do? If he decided to never show his face again then youโd have your answer and schedule that appointment-
โDonโt look like that. I gotta go back to the house, one of those drunk idiots probably set something on fire by now. Shit falls apart if I'm not there, ya know?โ He grabs your hand and squeezes it lightly before letting go.ย
A small laugh escapes before you can stop it, and he smirks at that, head titled when he says โThere she is.โ and hearts explode in your eyes. You sigh when he leans forehead and kisses your head, lingering a few seconds before pulling away.
โIโll check on you after practice tomorrow, alright?โย
โYou donโt have to-โ
โI know.โ His thumb brushes against your lip and heโs smiling but you can tell how nervous he is. โGonna do it anyway. Get some rest and donโt try to avoid me again. Pretty sure weโre past that now.โ
One week later..
you: iโm keeping it..ย
sukuna: i know
note: baby daddy sukuna loading.. as always your feedback is appreciated :')
Synopsis: In which concubine reader disguises herself as a man to avoid her duties.. But nothing gets past sukuna.
Tags: hein era sukuna, identity concealment, afab disguised as a man reader, enemies to lovers..?, mentions of SA(in upcoming chapters), reader's family is shitty,but her brother's suguru goato, uhh angst if you squint..? WC: around 1.9k
Chapter - 5 Entertaining
The private meeting hall smelled faintly of incense and expensive sake.sukuna sat at the head of the low table, expression clearly spelling out boredom itself as the guest official droned on about tax collections, border disputes,and whatever other matters he couldn't bring himself to care about.
His chin rested against one hand, four eyes half-lidded in what could generously be called "listening."
Across from him, the high official-Lord noritoshi kamo, though Sukuna rarely bothered with names-lifted his cup with his left hand, Again.
The man's right arm rested stiffly against his side, barely moving throughout the entire meeting. When he reached for documents, he used his left, When he gestured while speaking, it was always the left. and it hadn't been long before sukuna's lingering gaze already noticed the pattern.
interesting.
"-and the northern provinces have reported increased-"
"Your arm," Sukuna interrupted lazily, cutting through whatever the man had been saying ,as he froze mid sentence
"...Pardon?"
"Your right arm" Sukuna's tone was casual, well.. conversational? "You haven't used it once this entire meeting. What happened?"
The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees as Lord kamo's jaw tightened visibly, his grip on the sake cup turning white just a moment before he forced his expression back into something ..resembling composure.
"...A minor injury," he said stiffly "Nothing worth discussing."
"Mm." Sukuna's eyes gleamed with faint amusement "Must have been quite the 'minor injury' if you still can't move it properly."
The official's face flushed slightly-whether from anger or embarrassment-eh it was hard to tell
"I expected more from the servants and maidens assigned to my quarters," he said, voice tight with barely covered irritation. "Some... annoying brat tried playing tricks, Got lucky with a hairpin, of all things"
He laughed, but it sounded forced..Bitter?
"Honestly, the quality of help these days is-"
"A hairpin," Sukuna repeated flatly.
"Yes? "
"And you let someone stab you with a hairpin."
The official's eye twitched.
"As I said, she got lucky"
"Clearly."
Silence stretched between them, reeaaal uncomfortable.
Sukuna took a slow sip of his own sake, watching the man's face carefully. The embarrassment was obvious-a high ranking official, injured by what he was trying very hard to frame as some 'weak, insignificant woman.'
tch. Pathetic, really.
But also... oddly specific
"Well," Sukuna said eventually, setting his cup down with casualness. "I'm sure she's learned her lesson"
"She's gone," the official snapped, then immediately seemed to regret the outburst.he cleared his throat, forcing his voice back into something calmer
"The girl disappeared the same night, Escaped somehow" His fingers drummed against the table with his good hand. "But I know she's still alive."
Sukuna raised one eyebrow slightly.
"hm..Do you now?"
"Yes" kamo leaned forward, expression hardening into something more serious. "I know she's alive, Ryomen. And I know she couldn't have gotten far-not without help."
His gaze was pointed, almost..accusatory?
"and I want you to find her for me."
Sukuna stared at him for a long moment, expression utterly unreadable.Then he laughed ,and It wasn't a kind sound.
"You want me to waste my time hunting down some runaway concubine?
"She attacked me-"
"With a hairpin," Sukuna reminded him, voice dripping with amusement. "Which you just admitted she got 'lucky' with"
The official's face twisted
"This isn't a joke-"
"No, you're right. It's not." Sukuna's smirk was sharp "It's just pathetic."
kamo's jaw clenched so hard that it looked painful.
"She's a criminal. She-"
"eh-she's probably dead already," Sukuna interrupted, waving one hand dismissively. "If she even managed to escape at all, which I doubt. Most likely collapsed somewhere outside the palace walls and died pathetically in a ditch."
He picked up his sake cup again, examining it with far more interest than he'd shown the official. well damn.
"Problem solved."
"That's not-"
"Unless," Sukuna continued, voice dropping into something more dangerous, "you're suggesting she's still here, In the palace,Right under our noses?"
The official hesitated for a moment
"er...I'm saying it's possible."
"Then you're an idiot."
....
kamo's face was red now, fists clenched against the table, but he couldn't say anything- Couldn't argue,Not without admitting how desperately he wanted to find one "mere weak woman"-not without revealing how much it bothered him that she'd gotten away. Sukuna just watched the internal struggle play out across the man's face with barely concealed entertainment
Humans were so predictable when their pride was wounded.
"IF she's alive," Sukuna said eventually, tone bored again, "she'll turn up eventually,They always do."
He stood, signaling the end of the meeting.
"Until then, I suggest you focus on matters that actually require my attention. Like the northern provinces you were babbling about earlier"
kamo remained seated, jaw working silently.
"...Of course, Lord Sukuna"
As Sukuna left the hall, he caught the man's expression one last time-frustrated, humiliated, and just seething beneath the forced composure.
Interesting,very interesting.
...
you were going to die.
well, not dramatically like- not in some grand confrontation-no, you were going to die from the sheer exhaustion and paranoia before anyone even got the chance to execute you properly.
The sun had barely risen when you'd started your one-person mission to become the most forgettable, invisible person in the entire palace.
So far, it was going...erm..poorly
"-need someone to organize the storage-"
You turned a corner before the servant could finish speaking.
yeah no, no way-not today.
Your footsteps echoed too loudly against the wooden floors as you speed walked down another corridor, heart hammering against your ribs.
gosshh how every sound felt amplified,and every shadow looked suspicious
That person walking toward you,shit-were they looking at you? Did they recognize you? Should you turn around? No, turning around looks suspicious.Just keep walking, act natural. wait What does natural even look like? girl what are you doing get tf up.
"Excuse me-"You nearly jumped out of your skin, spinning around to find a confused servant holding a stack of scrolls.
"...Do you know where the records room is?"
"No," you said too quickly, pupils blown wide from the sheer adrenaline
The servant blinked
"er...Are you alright?"
"oh im fine,never been better actually"
You turned and walked away before they could ask anything else, resisting the urge to just sprint across.
This was fine, matter of fact Everything was fine.
You just needed to stay invisible for one day..Maybe two! well Maybe for the rest of your life,nothing too bad!
and by midday, you'd successfully avoided Uraume three separate times.
The first time, you'd spotted their distinctive white hair from across the courtyard and immediately ducked behind a decorative pillar, holding your breath until they passed. The second , you'd heard their voice around a corner and promptly turned around and walked in the opposite direction,almost colliding into a guard in the process. and the third, you'd been hiding in the records room (because apparently you did know where it was) when you heard footsteps approaching and immediately dove behind a shelf of scrolls, maybe a little dramatic..
i mean,to be fair,the situation IS a littl-
"...I know you're in here."
You froze, blood turning to ice, all while Uraume's voice was calm, unbothered, and maybe a little too close.
"Lord Sukuna requested your presence an hour ago."
oh wow
"If you do not come out, I will simply wait here until you do."
You pressed yourself further against the shelf, praying that the shadows were dark enough to hide you.
....
'mercifully', the footsteps retreated
"...You cannot hide forever."
that was all you heard before the door slid shut. You waited another five minutes before finally exhaling and slumping against the shelf with your heart still racing. cliterelly, what do you even do in this situation. This was unsustainable.
But what choice did you have?
.....
by late afteroon,your chest ached from the bindings, hands were shaking slightly from the constant adrenaline,well atleast your throat was fine since you hadn't spoke with anyone...
You'd managed to find a quiet corner near the kitchens where you could sit and eat something without drawing attention,but you were still wary, evrytime rough footsteps passed by, your chopsticks slightly clattered against the bowl.
This was ridiculous.You were being ridiculous.
no one knew you were here,even if they did they couldn't possibly recognize you-You looked completely different now-different clothes,your long hair now unevely chopped, different everything.
You were safe!-
"-heard Lord Sukuna's been in a strange mood lately-"
what?
"-he's keeping that weird little scribe close to him"
"who? the rude one?"
"yeah the one that talks back..."
"i guess he finds him entertaining"
"yeah maybe he enjoys bullying him"
They laughed and moved on, leaving you sitting frozen in place.
Entertaining?? He found you entertaining?
You weren't sure if that was better or worse than being considered a threat.
........
after spending the entire day jumping at shadows, hiding from Uraume, and trying desperately not to think about the fact that somewhere in this palace, the man who'd tried to assault you was walking around freely, alive Looking for you.
Your hands clenched into fists against your robes.
you should have stabbed him harder.
You should have aimed to drag straight across his throat instead of his hand.
you should have-
"There you are."
You spun around so fast that you nearly tripped over your own feet,as Uraume stood in the doorway, expression as blank as ever. so much aura loss.
"Lord Sukuna has requested your presence,Again."
"I'm busy," you said automatically
"..You are hiding behind a decorative plant?"
"...It's a very important plant..?"
Uraume just stared at you as You stared back.
"If you do not come willingly," they said calmly, "I have been authorized to drag you."
goodbye what.
"...That seems excessive"
"I agree. Yet here we are."
ok, so let's weigh our options,Running seemed appealing but ultimately pointless. Fighting Uraume would probably result in your immediate death. Going to Sukuna's quarters meant potentially running into-
No, he wouldn't be there.He was probably in some meeting somewhere, doing whatever horrible things warlords did in meetings,You'd be fine.
"...Fine," you muttered, stepping out from behind the plant with as much dignity as you could manage.
well..Which wasn't much..
Uraume turned and began walking, and you followed reluctantly.By the time you reached Sukuna's quarters, your heart was hammering so hard you were surprised Uraume couldn't hear it.
They slid the door open.
"Your scribe, as requested."
Then they just.. left.
such a traitor omg.
You stood in the doorway, frozen, scanning the room quickly.
wait..it's empty..?
No Sukuna,No officials,just scrolls and maps and the usual organized chaos. oh wow. Relief flooded through you so intensely and it felt amazing.
You stepped inside carefully, closing the door behind you, and immediately collapsed against the nearest wall
You were fine,Everything was fine.You just needed to catch your breath for a second, and then you'd figure out what Sukuna actually wanted, and then-
"Rough day?"
You screamed,and it wasn't a manly shout of surprise.and well..Not a dignified yelp either. t'was a full, high-pitched, absolutely feminine scream that echoed through the entireroom and probably half the palace.. geez.. So much for staying quiet all day and letting your throat recover.
Your hands flew to your mouth immediately, eyes wide with horror as your brain caught up with what just happened.
Yuh i feel tuff asl ending the chapter w a cliffhanger ๐โ๏ธ
[ TAGS ] โ mdni, 18+ only. use of alcohol. use of cigarettes. MISCOMMUNICATION. slow burn. social discomfort. socially awkward reader. self-consciousness. overthinking. anxiety. social anxiety. making out. rough kissing. neck kissing. slang. social media references.ย
worst thing about being a touch deprived woman? being socially incompetent. your biggest talent is managing to make every human interaction as awkward as possible. your mighty talent has left you with absolutely no game, because you have a crippling fear of even looking into a manโs direction. not only have you given up on interacting with menโ they've also given up from approaching you, since you mostly didnโt acknowledge those who advanced toward you. and when you did? youโre either a stuttering mess or you give them the nastiest look without truly meaning to. itโs like your brain short-circuits when a man breathes in your vicinity. in some way, itโs a blessing. because men can be scary as fuck.
still being a virgin in college was definitely not on your bingo card. especially because the ao3 and tumblr fics you read obsessively have you craving things you can never see yourself actually doing. youโd probably be a threat to every attractive man you set your eyes on if you had the guts to even do half the things you read and fantasize about. lucky them, you guess.ย
the moment you push open the door to the bakery, a soft chime rings overhead and a wave of warmth greets you like an embrace. the air is rich with the comforting scent of freshly baked goods. behind the glass counter, neat rows of pastries glisten under warm lights.
you hear the gentle hum of conversation, the clink of coffee cups, and the rhythmic whirr of a coffee machine. a baker in a flour-dusted apron slides another tray of pastries fresh from the oven.
โhey, what can I get you?โ, finally it's your turn ordering. this shouldn't be a problem. youโve been preparing yourself for this exact conversation ever since you've stepped foot into the establishment.ย
you point at the pastry on the display. โhi, just one of those pleaseโ, great! you smiledโ you greeted him backโ your voice was evenโ you said pleaseโ you smiledโ everything is going smoothly! you definitely bagged this interaction.ย
โwill you be paying with cash or card?โย
โno, thank you.โย
well... good try!ย
you stare at each other as your brain processes the words that left the workers mouth. you were expecting him to ask if that would be all. why wouldn't he follow the damn script?
ten dragged out and painfully awkward seconds of looking at each other later, you let out a shuddering breath and reply with a higher voice than intended, โ...card.โย
you pay quickly and turn away even faster. the worker calls out a goodbye to you and you wish him a great weekend. itโs tuesday.ย
you leave yet another bakery you'll never have the guts to show your face at again.ย
that was the first betrayal from your brain that dayโ never fast enough to actually process the words of people, but always rushing your vocal cords to answer with something that does not make any sense.ย
you can feel your heart thudding against your chest as you're trying to stabilize your breathing. that was embarrassing as fuck.ย
the second deception of your brain that day was making the moment replay in your mindโ ten times more dramatic than it actually wasโ causing you to not pay attention to where you're walking.ย ย
at this point, you're begging for something to happenโ
colliding with a brick wall was not something you intended to doโ but said brick wall started acting like it was some well-rehearsed plan youโd carried out to ruin his life.ย
โwatch where the fuck youโre goingโ, he spat.ย
blah blah blah.. proper name, place name, backstory stuff..
is this really happening right now?ย
youโre gawking at him. how can you not? thatโs ryomen sukunaโ the embodiment of a woman's wet dream.ย
part of you is disappointed by the fact that he's wearing a hoodie and not the slutty compression shirts you saw him in once or twiceโ or more times than you'd like to admitโย around campus.ย
your feet are glued to the pavement. the universe must hate you. this close to the man you're usually scared to look at for more than five secondsโ but he's on the verge of screaming at you on a busy street.ย
you want to apologizeโ you really doโ but not only is your voice seemingly gone, you also can't tear your eyes away from his illegally handsome faceโ gaze trailing along his tattoos. with a scowl so angry, you don't doubt the thought that he's about to beat you upโย
sukunas staring down at you. first, you run into himโ refusing to apologizeโ and now you're staring at him as if he was the one running into you. the look on your faceโ such arroganceโ could kill a lesser man. but sukuna isnโt a lesser man. he matches you with a glare of his own. he opens his mouth to pull an apology out of you, but you were gone in an instant. making him question if you're running away from him out of fear, or if you have too much pride to utter a simple apology. he glances back for a fraction of a second, confirming that you're indeed walking awayโ as if you're dismissing him.
โthe fuck is her problem..โ, he mutters to himself and resumes his walking.
you could win the olympic championship with how fast you're walking right now. youโre never leaving your dorm ever again. how can you embarrass yourself three times in a matter of five minutes? today will be the reason you won't be able to sleep for at least the rest of the week. running into sukuna out of all people? you barely see him around campusโ how did that happen? now you absolutely canโt admire him from afar..ย
you are currently walking back to your dorm after a study session at a nearby cafe with your roommate, shoko.ย
shoko being your roommate mightโve saved you from complete social isolation. it was hard making friends with your social illiteracy. you always had a hard time warming up to peopleโ let alone start a conversation. shoko was patient with you and never took it against you if you made the moment awkwardโ she gave you the time to warm up to her. now, you have no problem with talking to her and you're actually comfortable when she's with you.
you were definitely lucky with your roommate. shoko isnโt only fun to hang out with, but sheโs also in the popular circle. which means, you have enough chances to step out of your comfort zoneโ if you ever find the balls to do so. sheโs always happy to invite you to partiesโ even though you always refuse to attendโ and save you from awkward moments that you cannot get out of with your lack of skills.
youโre walking in comfortable silence, the smell of cigarettes following you because shokos nicotine addiction screams every five minutes. the silence is suddenly interrupted as shoko snorts to herself, seemingly lost in thought.ย
โare you going crazy?โ, you ask her with one eyebrow raised.ย
she removes the cigarette from her lips and looks your way, โwere you trying to flirt with the barista?โ
youโre taken aback instantly, โwhat?! no!โย
she chuckles, โso how come you said โnice day with youโ?โย
โi was trying to say โhave a nice day tooโ!โย
โyeah, yeahโ, she laughs.ย
youโre looking her way with panic, โdid it really seem like i was flirting?!โ
she just laughs as she continues walking, her gaze on the road as you still look at her, frantically moving your hands around, โoh my god, i can never step foot in there again shoko! we have to find a different cafe to study at. scratch that, i have to move away.โย
โrelax, itโs not that deep. im sure theyโre used to your awkwardness by nowโ, you run your hands down your face and let out a shaky exhale โheyโโย
bang.
you collide with a pole.ย
โoh shitโ, you hear shoko saying with a voice like sheโs not trying to laugh. weirdโ you look to the poleโ she never hesitates to laughโย
oh.
you're greeted with a well-built body of a man.ย
thatโs not a poleโย
you donโt look into his face. you donโt say anything. you turn back to the path and step away, keeping your gaze on the roadโย
โthe fuck is your problem?โย
oh heโs pissed.ย
you stop, but donโt turn around. whereโs shoko?ย
you want to look backโ but then you'd have to deal with the poleโ you want to call out to herโ but you literally cannot get a sound out. your voice would betray you anyway. and your legs are already betraying you by refusing to move from your damn spot.
โtchโ, youโre gonna get beaten up arenโt you? โnot gonna say sorry again?โย
you finally turn around, not having been able to take three steps away anyway.ย
you dread looking into his face. already shaking and shrinking into your own body. gulping while you look upโ and upโย
oh he looks angry. and youโd be an idiot if you didnโt recognize him.ย
thatโs sukuna.ย
ryomen sukuna.
again.ย
you managed to run into the same guy twice in a span of whatโ six or seven days? the guy whoโs known to have a short temper and absolutely no regard for the feelings of others. aka, probably your worst nightmare and the last guy youโd ever want to be face-to-face with. again? wellโ only because heโs scary. youโd love to look at him more. or do something more.. heโs hot as fuck. are you seriously thinking about how hot he is when heโs about to strangle you? well maybe that wouldnโt be so bad. no, that is bad. is it though? you were finally calming down from your last run-in and now it's happening againโย
you can't get a sound out. what are you supposed to say? sorry? heโll think youโre only sorry because he called you outโ you didn't say sorry last weekโ
his brows are furrowed as he looks down at you.ย
he looks like heโs three seconds away from breaking your noseโย
itโs getting hot. youโre sweating. you open your mouth, trying so say somethingโ anythingโ
โsorry manโ, shoko steps in between you with a nervous chuckle. โshe didnโt mean any harmโย
you could kiss shoko right now. especially because she looks like sheโs gonna piss herself as well. she has one arm in front of you in a protective manner while trying to find peace with a man who could eat you both up without a sweat.ย ย
you canโt tear your eyes away from sukuna. your gaze trails his tattoosโ to his clenched jawโ that jawline that could cut youโ that slutty compression shirt that doesnโt hide anything but hides everything at the same timeโ his folded arms that heโs flexing right nowโ veins standing out along his armโ
he lets out an unamused laugh. โthe fuck you both just standing there for?โย
his gaze fixates on you, pinning you to the spot you were already unable to move away fromโ โare you going to run away again?โ, he asks with a low voice, eyes narrowedโ sharp as knives.ย
โthats probably why she didn't apologize before.โ
is she saving you or killing you?
another nervous laugh from her โsorry. bye.โย
shoko takes your arm and drags you away from the scene.ย
youโre still in shock. she looks back and walks faster.ย
โwhat the fuck? iโm not muteโ, you whisper-shout to her.ย
โi know that you moron! i fucking panicked!โย
โwell no shit you panicked.โ
โwell iโm sorry that someone just stood there and also full-on checked out THE sukuna without shame, WHILE he was on the verge of BEATING us up!โ
โi didnโt check him out!โ, you gasp.ย
โyou know damn well you didโ, shoko mutters through clenched teeth.ย
somewhere behind you both, sukunas rooted to the pavement with a confused look on his face.ย
itโs been a week. youโve been acting like thereโs a bounty on your head. what if sukuna catches you talking with someone? after two days of skipping classes out of fear of seeing himโ shoko had to drag you out of your shared dorm.ย
your eyes are checking for pink hair every second of the day. avoiding any kind of human interaction. you were already avoiding socializing your entire lifeโ but this time it feels like your life depends on it.
a part of you is still scared of making a sound in your own dorm.
shoko is sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, typing away on her laptop while youโre laying behind her on said couch and staring holes into the ceiling.ย
โdo you remember the guy that almost beat us up last week because I walked into him and didnโt have the guts to say sorry?โ, you ask shoko, acting nonchalant about it as if youโre not shitting yourself at the thought alone.
her typing slows down for a second before she lets out a snort at the memory. โyou mean sukuna? you know damn well who he is. you practically drool every time you see him on campus. โ
โshut up.โย
she laughs again, โI swear you wouldnโt be here if I wasnโt there to save your assโย
โsave me? bro, you made it worseโ, you think about the past few days, โseriously, saying iโm mute? i havenโt spoken a word out loud on campus since then.โ
โwhat was i supposed to do?!โ, she turns around to you with a gasp.
โi donโt know! not tell him i was mute?!โย
she drags out a sigh. โitโs not that deep.โย
you scramble up from your laying position to fully look her way. โnot that deep?! what if he hears me talking!โ
โgirl, when were you ever near sukuna? I mean, he didnโt even realize I lied to his face so what are the chances heโll ever find out?โย
you both know that the chance is too high for you keep attending this college.ย
you let out a deep sigh as you lay back down, โstill thank you, i guess.โย
โpfftโ no problem, the look on his face was pricelessโ, she turns back around and resumes her typing.
you hum, already lost in thought again. should you be grateful in a way? you were face-to-face with sukuna after all. you couldnโt even look at him from afar before that encounter. shoko shouldโve stepped in a minute later so you couldโve admired his face a little longer. and his arms. and his abs.ย
โhe was really sexyโ, you sigh out.ย
โi guess.โย
youโre both silent for a minute.ย
โi wouldnโt have mind if he actually did beat me upโโย
โiโm about to beat you upโ, shoko immediately cuts you off, โyou need to get laidโย
โi know.โย
โyou know whatโ, she turns around again.ย
โhm?โ, you turn your head her way.ย
โthereโs this partyโโย
โno fucking way.โย
โcome on!โ, she kneels upright, โyouโre not even giving it a chance!โย
โi was scared of parties before this whole thing with sukuna and being mute! how am i supposed to show up to a party now!?โย
shoko thinks for a moment, โwhat are the chances sukuna will be at the partyโโย
โyou know damn well heโll be there.โ
โyeah, I know. worth a try though i guessโ, she mumbles out the last part, turning to her laptop again.ย
โpartying means socializing, i just want to get laidโ, you whine.ย
โwell iโm sorry but you have to kinda socialize for that.โย
โughhhโโ, you drag your hands down your face. at some point you will have to step out of your comfort zone, no? but the risk of seeing sukuna is way too highโ
โi could ask suguru if sukunas gonna be there", shoko suggests.ย
โi doubt that he'd miss a party. and i don't want to go anyway.โ
โcome onnn!โ, shoko pleads, โwe can leave the second you feel awkward!โ
โso like, two seconds after entering the party?โย
โlookโโ, shoko starts, โiโll ask suguru if sukunas gonna be there and if he's not I'll personally help you get laid with a man you can't resistโ and hopefully can put up with youโโ
you think about it for a second. comparing the anxiety you feel about seeing sukuna to the anxiety you feel about attending a party makes the party seem harmlessโ
โfine.โ
โWHATโ, shoko shouts, โi did not expect you to say yesโโ
"don't push it.โ
โyes maโam.โ
how did you end up here? the music can be heard two streets away and you feel the bass in your body as you step onto the patio. you shouldโve stood your ground and said no. you don't even remember at what point shoko convinced youโ
โIโll personally help you get laid with a man you can't resistโ and hopefully a man that can put up with youโโ
yeah that part probably did it.ย
now you're at some frat partyโ in a top too tight and a skirt too shortโ already on high alert for a certain someone with pink hair and tattoos all over his well-sculpted body.
โyouโre sure sukuna wont be here?โ, you ask shoko for the thousandth time since she showed you the messages between her and suguru, confirming that he really did say that sukuna wonโt be here.ย
โyes. im sureโ, shoko answers with a confident smile, โyou just focus on waking up in a stranger's bed tomorrow.โ
you also shouldโve downed way more drinks during pre-gaming. youโre already dissociating as shoko talks with the guy at the door. he seems to know her and lets you both in.ย
the air is thick with sweat and cheap cologne. the lights are throbbing and the bass of some overplayed song rattles the floorboards.ย
shoko shoves her way through the crowd of sweaty and drunk people with you arm-in-arm. she quickly finds the way to the kitchen, dragging you along. the floor is uncomfortablyย sticky. one step into the kitchen and you throw yourself onto the drinks, desperate to calm your nerves, still angry at the wannabe confident version of yourself that promised shoko to accompany her to this party and not chicken-out at the last second.ย
โthe drinks are not running awayโ, you barely register shokos voice as you down your first shot. she looks at you with a grimace.
โthe drinks maybe wonโt but i sure am about toโ, your nerves are still eating you alive as you contemplate downing another drink or shot, staring holes into the counter. shoko lets out a dragged-out groan and yanks you away from the kitchen.ย
โI really could have used another drinkโ, you complain.ย
โyouโll pass out before we find you a manโ, she reasons.ย
shoko still has a half-full red solo cup in her hand as she paves the way for you. you don't even know where you're going.ย
she stops at a wall on the edge of the makeshift dance floor, carved out of the living room, granting you the mercy of observing the dancing bodies instead of participating.
โwhat now?โ, you ask her.ย
โI have a planโ, she answers without looking at you, still watching the scene.ย
โyou do?โ
โnoโ, she's still scanning the crowd.
you sigh and also shift your gaze to the scene.ย
โi feel like your best shot is dancingโ, shoko turns her head to you, โbecause the second you open your mouthโ the party will be over. no offenseโ
โnone taken and absolutely not.โ
โyou literally give me nothing to work with here.โ
โyou were the one who suggested this whole thingโ, you say with a shrug.
someone walks by with cups in their hand, and you take oneโ half hoping they donโt notice and half not caring because they were out of sight before they even noticed and you were concealed by the many people around you as they frantically turned around.
what are you even supposed to do? dance? you shudder at the thought and bring the cup to your lips, taking the first sipโ
you recoil in disgust but still force yourself to drink itโ desperate to ease the anxiety churning inside of you.ย
wow. thatโs some tasteless ass drink for sure.
and only after you drank the whole thing with big gulpsโ ignoring the fact that stealing and drinking a random drink could end pretty badlyโ you realize that it was tap water instead of some tasteless drink like you originally thought.
โwhat the fuckโ who drinks water at a damn partyโโ
shoko turns to look at you, โfrom where did you even get thatโโ
โsooโโ, you drag out, โwhat do you usually do?โย
now that you're hereโ inches away from the college life everyone seems to dream aboutโ you can't seem to understand the excitement about these parties.
โno ideaโ, shoko answers.ย
โhowโโ
โi usually arrive, get high and then wake upโ, shoko lists.
someone calls out shokos name before you can even answerโ how loud did that person shout if you heard it through the music?ย
โwhatโs up?โ, she answers.ย
itโs satoruโ with sunglasses onโ inside? at a party? at night?ย
you sometimes forget that shoko is friends with satoruโ and suguru. two popular frat boys that are the embodiment of your fear of men. one gaze into their eyes and you will go home with a guaranteed heartbreak. so you donโt lookโย
โhey! you brought your shy friend with you!โย
you look at him for a second, then look away again. waitโ he meant you. you look back again. are you supposed to greet him?
you're just looking between them with a confused look but satoru is quick to change the subjectโ โweโre gonna play seven minutes in heaven. yโall down to join?โย
you immediately look to shoko with desperate eyes. hopefully she sees that youโre definitely not downโ
โyeah, sure.โ
oh fuck her.ย
satoru starts guiding you both to where the game is playedโ rambling about something that you donโt care to listen to because youโre about to crash out.
โwhat the fuck! i donโt want to play!โ, you shake shoko and whisper-shout to her.ย
โwell youโre welcome to sit on the sideline and watch but iโm not leaving till that bottle lands on you at least onceโ, she tells you.ย
โwhat?! why me!? didnโt you agree because you wanted to play?โ, youโre still shaking her.
โfuck no. i hate that gameโ, she deadpannes, โlook at me, im such a good friendโ, she exclaims with a proud smile.ย
โhow is that being a good friend?!โ, you hiss, โmaking me play a game i don't want to, knowing i canโt talk myself out of it?!โ
โbut think about itโ itโs the perfect chance for you! youโre finally gonna be alone with a man! for seven whole minutes!โ, she has a smile on her face that could light up the whole party. you never saw her so happy.
โyouโll have to fight me if you want me to step one foot into that closet.โย
โi will fight youโ, she sing-songs.ย
you need another drink. the water you accidentally drank earlier somehow wiped out every last trace of buzz.ย
โhey!โ, shoko shouts at you as you snatch her cup and chug it empty with big gulps.ย
satoru leads you to the basement and you almost walk into him when he stops suddenlyโย
looks like youโve arrived.ย
it seems like the game is already in full swing. you can hear cheering and assume that someone probably steeped outside the closet right now.ย
you can still hear the music faintly but you donโt have to raise your voice anymore. everyone's sitting in a circle on the ground with a bottle in the middleโ waiting to be spinned again. the cheering calms down and the pair that stepped out takes their place in the circle again. finally you wonโt have to shout over the musicโย
your heart literally drops to your ass.ย
well fuck your life. you wonโt be able to say anything because youโve just met eyes with the current bane of your existence.
you felt the blood drain from your face as dread settled over you.
pink hairโ tattoosโ hot as fuckโ scowl on his face when he registers who you areโ yeah, thatโs sukuna.
what the fuck?
you look away. maybe your brain is playing tricks on you. was that really water you drank earlier?
a pit of dread opens in your stomach. twisting and churning as you're trying to make sense of the situation.ย
why is he here?
you tug on shokos arm. she looks at your trembling hand that's tugging her franticallyโ then at your face that looks like you've just seen a ghostโ and finally follows your line of sight and stops immediately in her tracks. now youโre both standing there like idiots.ย
satoru sits down beside suguruโ now both looking at youโ everyone's looking at youโ you feel his eyes staring daggers onto your figure.
โyโall wanna play while standing?โ, suguru asks sarcastically.
shoko chuckles nervously and pulls you with her to sit down.ย
shoko is sitting between you and satoru. she spots satorus drinkโ full and untouched. he mustโve grabbed it before he asked you both to joinโย
โheyโ, she turns to satoru, โyou drinking that?โย
โyeahโโ, she doesn't let him finish his answer and snatches the cup from his unsuspecting handsโ then she immediately passes it along to you.
you don't look at her as you grip the cup like a life line.ย
satoru stands up with a dramatic pout, grumbling about something you both couldn't care less about.ย
can you even take a swig when your hands are shaking? taking the risk you close your eyes and swiftly finish the drink. you swallow, desperate to loosen up. your vision blurs for a second, but it's not enough to ease the anxiety in you which is caused by the man you did not want to be in the same room with tonight.ย ย
you really want to thank shoko for the drinkโ but you donโt let out a sound, already knowing whoโs sitting across from you. but then you remember the reason you even considered coming hereโ shoko literally told you he wouldn't be here!ย
youโre gonna kill shoko after surviving thisโ well, hopefully you will survive this.ย ย
you force yourself to sit stillโ with your sweaty hands in your lapโ as you look at the bottle in the middle of the circle and try to drown out everything else.ย
as youโre fighting for your life, sukuna watches you.ย ย
you got under his skin like no one else beforeโ that arrogant look you have that he wants to wipe off your faceโ acting like he's not worth a second of your day. you walked away while others would squirm in placeโ not daring to act before he does. even after finding out you're muteโ he still can't believe you didn't show an ounce of remorse.ย ย
sukuna is sitting beside toji who spins the bottle first, marking him next in line. the bottle spins and the first pair steps into the closet. sukuna couldn't care less about who the bottle landed on. heโs not even sure why he agreed on playing. he was bored, but this seems even more boring.ย
the seven minutes start and sukuna is debating on ditching the game altogether when he finds himself looking at you again. he seems to run into youโ or well, you into himโ a lot in the past few days. he hadnโt seen you before. he doesn't even know your nameโ he knows shoko, she hangs around satoru and suguru a lot. do they know you too? they must've mentioned a mute girl if they did know you. being mute is a rare occurrence so it must've been brought up, no? how come he didn't hear about it? maybe he just didn't pay attention to the information. how come he hasn't seen you before? you're probably not a party person. he guesses you're closed off since you have little to no way of communicating with others. thereโs no way he wouldn't have noticed you. youโre prettyโ even if he only saw you in passing he'd at least remember seeing you around before.ย
he finds himself irritated at the fact that you don't acknowledge his presence. you barely had a second of eye contact that you broke almost instantlyโ already seeming to be disinterested in him despite running into him. twice. you didn't spare him a second glance after that brief second.ย
he takes a good look at you, eyes narrowing. you're still wearing that arrogant look on your faceโ dripping with disdain against everything it seemsโ that he can't seem to forget. he thought about it more than he'd like to admit. you're perched on your kneesโ hands resting on your lapโ skirt short enough to show a dangerous amount of skin. his eyes glance at your plush thighs. youโre swaying slightly and your cheeks are a little flushedโ almost impossible to notice. that drink shoko stole from satoru for you was probably not your first drink of the night. she shows you something on her phone thenโ you grab it from her after a few seconds and type something inโ looks like she probably typed something for you to read. itโd make sense if you were the one typing, since you're mute and obviously cant talk. but couldnโt she have just said it instead of typing it on her phone? maybe it's a secretโ why is he thinking about it? who cares about what youโre typing about. he removes his eyes from you and focuses on the conversation around himโ too lazy to join himself.ย
you type a reply to shokos text. โmaybe we should reveal that you're not mute?โ
โiโm gonna kill youโ
shoko reads your reply and offers you a timid smileโ only to be met with a death glare from youโ straight from a โbased on true eventsโ horror movieโ that proves you meant what you typed into her phone. a chill runs down her spine.ย
she types another thing.ย
โhow r u gon play without talking?โย ย
thatโs when the timer goes off. satoru walks back in with a shot in his hand, taking on the job of opening the closet doorโ since he's already upโ and chases toji and some other girl out of the closet.ย
you watch toji take his seat beside sukunaโ not daring to look an inch into that directionโ as sukuna grabs the bottle to spin next.ย
wait.
its sukunas turn.ย
sukuna is spinning the bottle.ย
you're sitting in the same circle.ย
you're playing seven minutes in heaven.ย
he is too.ย
are you just now registering that you're not only in the same room as himโ but also participating in the same game?
how high are the chances that it'll actually land on you?
your face pales and your eyes bulge as you realize this might've been the worst seat possible.ย
based on the luck you've had with sukuna your chances are slim to noneโย
shoko seems to be thinking the exact same thingโ realizing a second too late that you should've ditched the game as soon as you stepped foot into this roomโ
the bottle lands.ย
on you.ย
what the fuck kind of luck is this? where are the cameras? this has to be a jokeโย
โtchโ, sukuna stands up, โof courseโ, he says under his breath.
you can't back out nowโ what would people think? that you're a coward? a coward that cant talk?ย
โthe fuckโโ, satoru gasps as shoko snatches his shot and passes it to you again.ย
she squeezes your one hand as you down the shot with the other.ย
then you slowly stand up and start walking toward your grave.ย
shoko watches youโ she knows you'll never be the same after this and mentally prepares herself for her own funeral as well.
sukuna is already in the closet when you enter and close the door behind you.ย
the space is smallโ but large enough that you're not pressed against each otherโ which could be considered as a lot of space with how big sukuna is.
you stop right in front of him as he's looming over youโ signature scowl on his face. he looks like he's had already enough of you.ย
the alcohol has calmed you a tiny bitโ but with the amount of anxiety still raging inside of you, you're surprised at yourself for the next thought that crosses your mind.ย ย
โletโs get this over withโโ
sukuna is interrupted by your lips crashing into hisโ your fingers curl in the fabric of his shirt, dragging him down to you. your lips press against his softly at firstโ clumsy and inexperienced.
he freezes for a split secondโ his brain processes what's happening. he melts into it as his surprise quickly turns into raw hunger. he cups your face with one hand, the other gripping your waist to pull you flush against him. he kisses you back twice as hard. his hand on your cheek slides to the back of your head, holding onto your hair and keeping you close as he deepens the kiss while angling your head. your hands move to clutch on his shoulders. nails digging into the broad muscle.ย
the intensity of the kiss gave you no time to address the dull pain in your back as sukuna shoves you onto the wall, never separating from you in the process. he swallows the silent gasp he pulls out of you with a low groan and his tongue invades your mouth like he owns it. your hands slide to the back of his neck. his tongue glides against yours as you're holding back the sounds that are trying to escape you. he grips your waist tighter. your cheeks turn a deeper red and your heart starts to thud quicker. heat coils in your stomach and a wave of arousal starts to collect between your thighs
the lack of oxygen starts to make you dizzy. you detach yourself from him to breathe in and he immediately chases your lips again. kissing you once again with the same passion and hunger as before. his breath shudders when you lean further into him, eagerly trying to match his rhythm. his hand on your waist moves to the small of your back, pressing you even closer against himโ as if he can't stand the thought that there's still space between you. your fingers slide into his hair and when you tugโ he lets out a quiet moan into your mouth that makes your breath hitchโ the sound sends another wave of hot arousal between your legs. heโs consuming you whole.
your back arches as you tug on his hair once more and he lets out a grunt deep from his throat. his hands start to roam on your body, trying to memorize your body by touch. your mind is growing hazy, every thought is being consumed by sukuna.
his calloused palms move further down to grab your ass, squeezing, kneading the flesh. he pushes you further into the wallโ seemingly desperate to be as close as possible to youโ you're both panting into each others mouth as you kiss. your jaw slacks and you open your mouth wider for him. the kiss turns messierโ teeth grazingโ sucking on each others tongue.ย
sukuna starts softly bucking into youโ grinding against you. youโre fighting against your inner demons to stay quiet while sukuna isn't afraid to let out grunts and groans. your nails rake through his pink hair.ย
sukunas one hand hooks your leg around his waist, stroking the flesh while the other stays put on your ass, grinding you against him and making you meet his slow but eager movements. you rock your hips instinctivelyโ hands still in his hairโ tugging at his locks once more.ย
sukuna pulls back for a second, a string of saliva connecting your mouths together. he doesnโt stray farโ just enough to take you in for a moment. he looks at your kiss-bitten lips, eyes moving to the heavy rise and fall of your chest and his head falls into the crook of your neck. heโs panting heavily while he's breathing you in. he lets out a low curseโ that you couldn't catch because you're trying to catch your breath while remaining silentโ and latches onto your neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses there as well. his grip on you tightens even more as you start rocking against him faster. his breath is hot against your skin. you bite down, clenching your teeth, not letting a single whine or moan slip out while he's sucking on the skin on your neck. his mouth starts to wanderโ leaving wet kisses on every surface of skin he can get his mouth on. mouthing at your pulse, you feel your composure almost snap so you pull on his hair to move his mouth back against yours. the shift is instantโ rougher, hurried, uncoordinated. itโs like he lost control but can't stop. you try to match his movementsโ but your lack of experience and his loss of restraint makes the kiss sloppy. not that you're complaining. even if you wereโ the amount of slick that has gathered in your panties would probably beg to differโย
knock.ย
shoko nearly pulls the door off its hinges before gojo can knock a second time.
you immediately detach yourself from sukuna and bolt through the closet doorโ not sparing another glance to sukunaโ and leave the room.ย ย
shoko is close behind youโ trying to catch up with a look of panic that almost matches your own.
your heart is racing.ย
โwhat happened in thereโโ, shoko asks, but your own thoughts are scrambled.ย
your throat tightens as you try to breathe inโ only managing short gasps.ย
you climb up the stairs hurriedly, desperate for a breath of fresh airโ desperate to leave this party altogether.ย
you claw your way through the crowdโ not caring who you shove out the way or who you bump into.
shoko is in tow as you reach the door to freedom.ย
meanwhile, you left sukuna frozen in placeโ with his heart hammering in his chest and a raging problem in his pants. with your scent faint in his nostrilsโ enough to haunt him but too faint to fill his lungs. with the taste of your lipgloss still on his lipsโ which he licks off unconsciously and craves to taste more of.ย
he's glaring holes into the wallโ where you were in his reach seconds agoโ aching to breathe you in and taste you once again. his hands are twitching without your soft skin to hold. a shiver runs down his spineโ the room cold without your warmth radiating toward him. when all of a sudden, he hears this agitating grating voiceโย
โyou were pretty vocal in thereโโ
โshut the fuck up gojo.โ
outside, you haven't talked a single word to shoko yet. you're walking arm-in-arm through the streets. shoko understands that you need time to gather your thoughts and find your words.
the fresh air has calmed you down but the image of sukuna fills your vision every time you blink. you still feel his lips against your own and a faint tingling on your neck where he kissed you mere moments ago. you can still hear his groans which will probably haunt you every time there's nothing to fill the silence withโ like right now. your body shudders as the cold of the night bites at youโ or is it the absence of his warm body against yours, the absence of his hands on your skin that makes you tremble?ย
โheyโ, shoko snugs closer to you, โyou okay?โ
she's looking at you as your eyes stay on the path.ย
โiโm sorry for saying he wouldn't be thereโโ
โi kissed him.โ
shokos mouth falls openโ a scream threatening to escape from her.ย
instead, she's silent for a moment before going into a fit of laughter.ย
you turn your head to her, one eyebrow raised. the fuck is she laughing for? especially for putting you into that position in the first place!โย
shokos laughter dies as she registers the serious look on your face, โ..for real?โย
โfor real.โ
you both fix your gaze to the path ahead, both trying to make sense of what just happened.
shoko breaks the short silence, โi think i might have alcohol poisoningโย
โyou didn't even drink that muchโโ
โthereโs no way in hell YOU kissed SUKUNA!โย
โare you calling me a coward to my face right nowโโ
โyouโve been avoiding him like the plague!โ
โi think i might have alcohol poisoningโ, you mumble as you drag your hands down your faceโ ruining your makeup in the process.ย
shoko stops in her tracks all of a sudden, โwait, wait, waitโโ, she closes her eyes for a moment, โso you kissedโโ
โmade out.โ
โmade out?โโ, shoko asks, flabbergasted.ย
โmade outโ, you double down.ย
โso you made out with sukuna for seven whole minutes and i did not hallucinate the moaning?โ
โyโall heard that?โโ
โANSWER. the question.โ
you breathe in.ย
shoko looks at you, eyes still wide.ย
breathe out.ย
โ...yeah that's about itโโ
โWHAT.โ
โi also might have or might have not dry humped himโโ
โWHAT.โ
โ^. .^โโณ [ a/n ] hope you liked it !! second chapter will be out in a week hopefully... this is my second work so i hope i didnt disappoint too much (ห หฬฃฬฃฬฅโหฬฃฬฃฬฅ ) dont be shy to comment/reblog it really motivates me to keep writing !! <333
autumn harvest offerings with heian era!sukuna who wants to slaughter everyone, but your tea is more important
fluff
the village elders are kneeling in the mud outside the palace gates, their foreheads pressed flat against the earth, weeping as they offer up the autumn harvest. they have brought baskets of rice, rare mountain herbs, and a single, polished silver mirror meant to reflect the face of a god.
โsukuna is sitting on his outdoor veranda, one leg hooked over the wooden railing, completely ignoring them while he picks at his fingernails with a small, curved dagger. he looks thoroughly bored by their terror.
โyou step out onto the porch, carrying a small wooden tray with his afternoon tea, your bare feet clicking softly against the cypress wood.
โthe second your shadow falls over his lap, the king of curses completely freezes. the lazy, indifferent slouch disappears instantly. his four eyes snap upward, locking onto your face with a sudden, hyper-focused intensity that makes the kneeling villagers outside gasp in terror.
โโyou.. youโre late,โ he grunts, though his lower right hand is already reaching out to steady the tray so you donโt drop it.
โโthe water took time to boil, โkuna,โ you say quietly, sitting down cross-legged right beside his hip.
โsukuna doesnโt touch the tea. instead, he sets the dagger down, his massive, claw-tipped upper hand reaching out to gently, deliberately catch the hem of your sleeve. with a slow, unyielding pull, he drags you across the mats until your side is pressed completely flush against his thigh. he reaches down, his large fingers catching the small of your back and lifting you until youโre sitting directly between his knees, your back resting against his stomach mouth.
โhe rests his chin heavily on top of your head, two of his arms wrapping around your ribs to hold you still, while his other two hands casually pick up the teacup, holding it to your lips first.
โdown in the courtyard, one of the elders dares to look up, stammering out a prayer to the โbenevolent calamity.โ sukunaโs eyes flash with a sudden, vicious malice as he glares over your shoulder at the old man. โlook away before i rip your eyes out,โ he barks, his voice dropping into a terrifyingly low, protective snarl. he turns his head back, burying his face in your neck with a low, possessive huff, his entire face turning a dark, private red. โtheyโre loud. drink your tea so i can kill them in peace.โ
a/n: heian era sukuna has a special place in my heart
โ perm. tags , @sh0dor1 @beereadzzz
ยฉ jumpjo โ donโt copy, repost, or translate without my permission. do not use/feed my works to AI.
!Ryomen Sukuna; who falls in love with the concubine he hated the most
Every woman brought to his estate understood the rules of survival before they even crossed the threshold.
You bowed until your forehead touched the tatami. You spoke only when spoken to. You anticipated his moods, read the terrifying language of his four eyes, and offered flattery or tears depending on what type of amusement he was seeking that day.
To center your entire existence around Ryomen Sukuna was the only way to ensure your head remained attached to your shoulders.
Except you didn't.
You hadn't knelt when he first entered your quarters three months ago. You had been lying on your side, propped up on an elbow, reading a translated scroll from the northern provinces, and you had merely shifted your gaze to look at him, entirely unimpressed by the sudden, heavy drop in atmospheric pressure that usually accompanied his presence.
"Stand when I enter," he had commanded, his upper eyes narrowing into dangerous, ruby slits.
You had turned a page. "Then leave and enter again. Perhaps I will feel like it next time."
The attendants behind him had turned white as ghosts, bracing for the inevitable spray of blood. Sukunaโs jaw had set, a terrifying, low growl vibrating from his chest. But you hadn't trembled.
You hadn't scrambled to fix your posture. You had just looked at him with an expression of profound boredom.
If he wanted to kill you, he would kill you. Fawning over him wasn't going to change his nature, so you simply refused to waste the energy.
He hadn't killed you. Instead, he had left, the doors slamming shut with enough force to rattle the shoji screens.
And that was the exact moment the nightmare began. Because from that night onward, Sukuna became an insufferable, permanent fixture in your life.
"You are eating that wrong."
You stopped your chopsticks halfway to your mouth, letting out a long, slow exhale through your nose. It was midnight.
You had been looking forward to a quiet, solitary meal of cold rice and pickled plums, but Sukuna had simply materialized in the corner of your room ten minutes ago, dripping wet from a thunderstorm, and had proceeded to sit directly on the edge of your bedding.
"I am eating it the way I have eaten it for more than twenty years," you said, not looking at him. "If my technique offends you, the door is exactly where you left it."
Sukuna scoffed, leaning back on his palms. His massive, tattooed frame took up half the space in your small room, his lower arms crossed over his chest while his upper right hand casually reached over and swiped a plum straight from your bowl.
"You have a wretched attitude," he remarked, popping the fruit into his mouth and chewing lazily. "The women in the east hall weep with gratitude if I so much as glance toward their courtyard. You look at me like I am a stray dog that ruined your garden."
"Stray dogs are quieter," you muttered, finally looking up to glare at him. "And they don't steal my food."
Sukunaโs lower mouth twitched into a sharp, jagged grin. He loved it. The realization turned your stomach, a strange, dizzying mixture of irritation and heat.
He didn't come to your room because he wanted a concubine; he came because he was a creature driven entirely by conflict, and you were the only person in the entire empire who refused to give him the satisfaction of a fight. You gave him nothing. You gave him a wall of pure, unbothered apathy, and it was driving him entirely insane.
He leaned forward suddenly, crowding your space. The smell of the storm, ozone and rain, rushed over you. Before you could pull back, his large, calloused hand shot out, his fingers wrapping around your jaw.
It wasn't the brutal, bone-crushing grip he used on his enemies. It was controlled, a heavy, unyielding restraint that forced your face up toward his.
"You should fear me," he murmured, his upper eyes tracking the movement of your throat as you swallowed. His thumb thumbed the soft skin right beneath your lower lip, a deliberate, electric friction that made your toes curl inside your robes. "A single flick of my finger, and this pretty little throat splits wide open."
You met his gaze evenly, refusing to let the wild, frantic thudding of your heart show on your face. "Then do it. I'm tired of your bragging."
Sukuna froze. For a second, the silence in the room was deadly. Then, a loud, booming laugh tore from his throat, the sound rough and genuine as he released your jaw, shifting his weight until he was practically draped over your lap, his heavy head resting casually against your thigh.
"Insufferable," he muttered, closing all four of his eyes as if he owned the space. "Utterly insufferable."
You stared down at the King of Curses currently using your legs as a pillow, your hand hovering over his unruly pink hair, entirely tempted to shove him off. But you didn't. You just sighed, picking up your chopsticks again, ignoring the way his subconscious weight felt entirely too natural against you.
The shift happened. In Sukunaโs dictionary, words like love or devotion were meaningless concepts invented by the weak to justify their dependency. He would never admit to favoring you. If anyone asked, he would simply say you were a minor amusement, a dull distraction from his boredom.
But the rest of the estate wasn't blind.
The servants noticed that the rare silks brought from the western raids, the ones Sukuna usually threw into the treasury to rotโsomehow kept finding their way into your wardrobe because he had casually grumbled that your current robes looked "like rags."
The guards noticed that if Sukuna left your courtyard irritated, he was significantly less likely to execute someone in the main hall.
And then there was the incident with the lord of the northern clans.
During a formal banquet, the lord had made a passing, disparaging remark about your status, calling you an "eccentric, useless mouth to feed" who didn't know her place.
You hadn't even heard the comment; you had been across the pavilion, systematically ignoring Sukunaโs attempts to make you try a cup of sake.
But Sukuna had heard it.
He hadn't made a scene. He had simply stood up, walked over to the lordโs table, and dismantled the manโs entire lineage within three seconds, leaving the pavilion drenched in red before sitting back down next to you, casually picking up his chopsticks as if nothing had happened.
"You're exhausting when you're angry," you had murmured, wiping a stray drop of blood from the sleeve of your robe with a click of your tongue.
Sukuna hadn't answered. He had just grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand toward him until you were forced to use your sleeve to wipe a smudge of gore from his cheek instead. He hadn't asked. He had just assumed your hands belonged on his skin.
Late one evening, weeks later, the heat of the summer had turned the air thick and oppressive. You were lying awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling, when the shoji screen slid open without a sound.
Sukuna stepped inside. He looked exhausted, the heavy marks of a curse battle still lingering in the tension of his shoulders. He didn't speak. He just shed his heavy outer robe, letting it hit the floor, before crawling directly onto your sleeping mat.
"Go away," you groaned, trying to roll over to the far edge. "It is too hot for this."
"Silence," he grunted, a large, heavy arm snaking around your waist from behind. He hauled you back against his chest with a single, effortless tug, his massive body completely enveloping yours.
His chest was blazing hot, a furnace of pure cursed energy, and his face buried itself directly into the crook of your neck.
"You cling too much," you muttered, though you didn't actually fight the hold. It was a useless endeavor anyway.
"What nonsense," Sukuna rumbled, his voice thick with sleep, his lower arms tightening around your hips, anchoring you so securely to him that you could feel the rhythmic, heavy thud of his heart against your spine. "You are small. You fit here. Stop complaining."
You lay there in the dark, his breath warm against your skin, his long, sharp fingernails absentmindedly tracing patterns into the fabric of your garment near your ribs.
He was completely unaware of how intimate the gesture was, how entirely possessive his body became the moment he was near you. He thought he was just resting. He thought he was just taking what was his.
You turned your head slightly, looking back at him. His eyes were closed, his expression unusually peaceful in the dim moonlight.
"You're an idiot, Ryomen Sukuna," you whispered softly.
A faint, arrogant smirk touched his lips, though he didn't open his eyes. His hand moved up, his fingers lacing through yours with a casual, unthinking pressure, locking your hands together against the bedding.
"And you are still breathing," he murmured into your skin, his grip tightening just a fraction more. "Be grateful I find your stupidity so entertaining."
You closed your eyes, letting yourself sink into his terrifying, inescapable warmth, finally accepting that while the King of Curses would never say the words, his actions had already rewritten the entire world around you.
Synopsis: In which concubine reader disguises herself as a man to avoid her duties.. But nothing gets past sukuna.
Tags: hein era sukuna, identity concealment, afab disguised as a man reader, enemies to lovers..?, mentions of SA(in upcoming chapters), reader's family is shitty,but her brother's suguru goato, uhh angst if you squint..? WC: around 9.5k ayy๐
Chapter - 4 The wrong kind of familiar
By midday, you've decided that Sukuna was attempting to kill you through paperwork alone. Scrolls covered nearly every available inch of the low table infront of you, stacked high enough to make your eye twitch every time Uraume returned carrying more, and they always returned carrying more.
Without a word, Uraume dropped a few more documents beside you, you stared between them and the pile,looking exasperated and done.
"โฆAre you breeding these documents somewhere?"
"No."
"Lying is unbecoming."
"Complaining is unbecoming."
"regardless...here we are"
Uraumeโs expression did not change even slightly to the point you were beginning to suspect if they've never experienced emotion in their entire life.
across the room, the faint scratch of ink against paper paused briefly as Sukuna glanced up from where he sat, surrounded by military reports, one arm resting lazily against the table beside him.
four crimson eyes settled on your handwriting.
"โฆYour brushwork is refined," he remarked casually
You froze for half a second before forcing yourself to continue writing
-"Scribes are expected to write properly."
"Hm."
he made that sound again. it sounds so..confusing? you have no idea what he's trying to imply and resorted to assuming the worst .sukuna rose up from his seat slowly, the wooden floors creaking softly beneath his weight as he approached you
you tried not to look nervous ,can't this guy just mind his damn business liike??
but unfortunately, your body seemed to betray you as He stopped right beside you.
maybe Far too close...
"Not like this," he said.
Your grip on the brush tightened slighly whilst his gaze lingered briefly over the neat strokes of ink, before shifting lazily toward your face.
"Where were you educated?"
your breath caught slightly, omg so nosy for what.
your eye twitched, oh how you missed geto for a moment, you even missed his annoying worried nagging. these people were working you to the bone no breaks nada ,if only uraume would bring a snack of somesor-Uraume quietly placed down another stack of scrolls.
you just stared at it in disbelief.
"โฆThereโs more?"
"There is always more."
"This is a punishment"
"Yes."
I mean atleast they were honest..
"to be honest i thought you were raised during a famine or something" sukuna randomly started..
you blinked slowly,pursing your lips together,well perhaps a little too honest.
"..pardon me?"
"you're small and thin with no facial hair.." his gaze lingered lazily "you barely resemble a man"
....
uraume simply continued organizing the place,pretending not to listen as an awkward silence filled the room
"No women look your way, I assume," Sukuna mused lazily "i guess they'd simply avoid you"
your brush nearly snapped in half.
did this fatass just say you have no game??
does he know that you're the game in question??
you decided to just ignore him entirely,saying something would most likely-definitely get you beheaded.
sukuna just watched your reaction,wierdly intrigued-then he just closed two of his eyes briefly,slightly smirking to himslef. what a strange guy.
......
By the time you finally escaped Sukunaโs quarters, the sun had already begun sinking low beyond the palace walls
the hallways were quieter during sunset. servants moved slower, conversations softer beneath the dim orange glow spilling through the wooden corridors.
For once, nobody was shoving military reports into your hands.
finally,some peace.
You massaged your poor aching hand that had to endure all that paperwork,as you lazily strolled the hallways.At this point, even your soul ached.
You let out a long breath as your footsteps slowed slightly. maybe if you were lucky, Uraume wouldnโt find you for another hour,a dangerous amount of hope, honestly.
as you turned another corner, faint voices drifted through the hallway ahead.
"โฆI heard he survived."
your steps slowed instinctively, eavesdropping in on the gossip
"Barely"
"Apparently she stabbed him so bad he still canโt move one of his arms properly."
"tch. serves him right"
"hey-Careful saying things like that"
your stomach dropped, the warmth drained from your body so fast it almost made you dizzy. for a moment ,you felt the once cozy hallway blurring slightly around the edges.
He survived.
Not only survived-you had injured him,badly.
your aching fingers curled tightly against your sleeves tightly as uneasiness crawled beneath your skin.
A deep wound could heal, but pride did not.
and men like him never forgot humiliation.
especially not humiliation caused by someone they once believed powerless
If he remembered your face- No.
If he recognized your voice-
He would destroy you-Not quickly, either.
you forced yourself to breathe normally.
Think.
please calm down, besides-nobody here knew.
Nobody could know.
"โฆThough," one of them whispered suddenly, "I heard the concubine disappeared completely."
"i guess she escaped"
"Thatโs impossible."
"she had help, apparently"
you felt your test tighten briefly for a moment-your brother, he never told you if helping you dissapear caused problems for him afterwards.he just...smiled and told you to survive
"โฆYou know," another servant murmured thoughtfully, "that new scribe looks vaguely familiar."
you felt your heartbeat stop, or rather speed up
"Him?" someone scoffed immediately. "You think too much."
"No, seriously, like around the eyes-"
you turned around the corner before they could finish, quietly continuing forward, lowering your head immediately as the servants passed by,subtly picking up your pace,not too fast-too fast would attract attention
but your pace still quickened anyway
A laugh echoed somewhere down the corridor.
a low,disgustingly familiar ugly laugh
your entire body went cold,throat going dry and whole body feeling numb with discomfort.
forgot to mention in the beginning but reader is lwk androgynous thts why sukuna though she was a woman at first
summary: getting knocked up by your older brotherโs fratbro wasn't exactly apart of your five year plan. least of all with notorious fuck boy ryomen sukuna.
pairing: frat!kuna x reader
content: everything in this series is considered 18+ so not minor friendly! contains mature content such as rough sex, breeding, spanking, spit play, lactation kink, descriptive child birth, postpartum depression, probably more
wc: 3.2k (next chapters will be much longer. I just wanted to set up the dynamic!)
dividers by: @petalpxl | series masterlist | art by lorinmower
Ryomen Sukuna doesn't do relationships. He fucks who he wants and then acts as if he never knew the person. That was one of his two rules: always wear a condom and never fuck the same girl twice.
Until he met you. Nanami's adopted sister who came into his life and upended every standard he lived by.
It started the last week of his junior year of uni, his deep gutted interest in his frat brother's younger sister who was tossing back shots at their end of year party. You were just some random girl who caught his eye, hot as fuck in that tight short dress your boobs kept spilling out of.ย
You danced with random men that Sukuna had the sudden urge to punch, their slimy hands running along your thighs before lightly squeezing your ass. You look unfazed though slightly amused, relishing in the attention you were getting from those cuck losers.
"Who is that?" Sukuna all but growled at Gojo, snatching the drunk frat president by his collar and nodding his head toward you. After yelling what the fuck dude!, he followed Sukuna's line of sight and smirked knowingly. You were throwing your head back with a laugh, moving your hips in circular motions as some guy pulled you closer.ย
"Nanami's sister and she's off limits unless you have a death wish. Hot as fuck though right?" Since when did Nanami have a sister? Gojo chuckled at his friend's glare before he was being whisked away by the girl that was holding his hand, alcohol spilling from his red solo cup.
Sukuna could just go up to you, snatch you away from the man who looked like he couldn't possibly handle everything you were throwing his way and fuck you until the sun rose. Did he really want to involve himself with his friend's sister though? You were hot, sure, but it was nearly his last year of college and he'd rather not ruin that by losing a friend he basically considered his brother.ย
He had a terrible reputation of one night stands and ghosting. Gojo was drunk but he was right: Nanami would kill Sukuna if he treated you like a common whore. So he wouldn't. He'd woo you, tell you what you wanted to hear, make you feel like no other woman existed. He might even fuck you two times, which is more than he'd ever give any other woman.
Mind made up, Sukuna tosses back the rest of his drink before throwing it at the head of a random pledge and starts moving toward you. Only before he can actually reach you, some guy walked up to you and pulled you away.ย
Fuck. Sukuna can feel his anger flaring, always too quick to โcrash outโ as Gojo puts it. But the night was still young so he would just have to try again later.ย
Later came at almost two in the morning and didn't pan out quite like he imagined. The party was dying down, men and women alike were passed out in the lawn with their faces covered in sharpie drawings, red cups were everywhere and Sukunaโs head felt like it was splitting in half. Needless to say, he was in a shit mood.
Even Satoru โnever take life too seriousโ Gojo, looked like his patience had ran out as he kicked at people on the ground, yelling at them to โget the fuck up and get the fuck outโ. Sukuna however, was past words, simply glaring at people with his hat backwards and arms crossed at his chest until they got the hint and scattered away.ย
He was pulling a new pledge up and away from the woman he was attempting to fuck on the living room couch and shoving him by his neck toward the back door. The sophomore understood immediately, grabbing a garbage bag and picking up cups and empty beer cans, mumbling about how he wasnโt a fucking new recruit but not too loud unless Sukuna heard him.ย
Sukuna only remembered he was supposed to be finding you when he bumped into a pissy drunk Nanami, knocked out by the pool with his legs hanging in the water and vomit next to his head. The blonde was hardly a drinker, so whenever he decided to indulge a bit, it was like keeping a toddler from offing themselves. Sukuna thought to just leave him there, maybe teach him a lesson about drinking more than he could handle.
ย But you would more than likely hate him if your brother accidentally drowned on his watch, and then he wouldn't be able to sleep with you. So begrudgingly, he hooked his arms under Nanamiโs and pulled him until he was far enough from the pool, dropping him in the grass.ย
His patience was beyond worn thin once the house was cleared of non frat members and when he went back inside in hopes of finally laying down, he was fuming at the sight of some random bitch chugging water from his personal hydro flask, fridge wide open while they basically stood inside of it.ย
โOi! The fuck are you doing touching my shit?โ He was seeing red, not even realizing the person he was talking to was you until he was roughly turning you by the shoulder.ย
Your eyes were wide and apologetic, hands scrambling to put the top back on it while you mumbled apologies, water dripping down the side of your mouth. โSorry! I didn't know-โ
He glared and crossed his arms, attempting to swallow his rage when he realized this night could end on a good note..
ย โHmm, you just drink from random water bottles? Shit could be laced yโknow. Be more careful.โ He relished in how you squirmed under his intense gaze but never took your eyes off of his, even if it annoyed him that you clearly lacked survival instincts. He wanted to lick the frown off your mouth.
โCalm down dude, itโs just water! Who are you anyways?โ You pushed his leaning body away, disgust twisting in your features. Sukuna was beyond amused though, caging you against the fridge as he put both hands on the side of your head and leaned over you.ย
โRyomen-โ
โSukuna?โ You finished, eyes wide in surprise that you hadn't noticed him before. The uncommon pink hair, face tattoos, lip piercing, the looming height.ย
Sukuna raised a brow, smug grin on his face. โIn the flesh. I know you from somewhere, beautiful? Donโt think I'd forget a face like yours.โ
You chuckled, the confidence he saw in you earlier finally crawling to the surface as you stood a little taller, lifting your head to look at him better. You put your hand against his lower stomach and attempted to push him away but Sukuna didnโt budge, though the attempt was cute.
โHmm, is that why you spent half the night staring at me from across the room like you were working up the nerve to say something to me?โย
Sukuna actually laughed at that, throwing his head back before looking back at you with a small smile. He hadn't realized that youโd been watching him as closely as he was watching you and that made him want you even more.
โI donโt work up nerve for shit.โย
You bit back a smile, a small giggle escaping and Sukunaโs chest clenched. Your eyes were hooded, your dress rising just a little and he was only a man. โSure.โ
โAnd if I was looking?โ
โThen your game sucks since you never actually came over.โย
A low laugh rumbled from his chest. The fucking he was going to give you would be biblical. He would make sure you found difficulty in walking, convince you to stay the night and then fuck you again when you woke.
โYou got a habit of insulting strangers in their own homes?โ
He shouldn't have been surprised when you responded immediately, your mouth almost as reckless as his. Sukuna thinks heโs met his match when your hand moves from his naval to his chest, manicured nails scratching lightly.ย
โOnly the ones that yell at me over water.โ
He squinted his eyes, moving one hand to squeeze your waist and pull you closer. โMy water.โ
โYour water.โ
Neither of you moved or said anything. Just stared at each other as if in a silent battle. Sukunaโs thumb rubbing circles on your waist while your fingers were sprawled against his chest, biting your lips from the motion and doing a terrible fucking job at hiding the moan that instantly had him leaking precum.ย
โMaybe I should leave before you charge me for the water.โ You whisper with a shaky breath as he starts lowering his head. He could see the goosebumps on your exposed shoulders, his entire body buzzing with pure lust.ย
โOr.. you could stay and make it up to me.โ His lips were inches away from yours, breathing in the same air as you as he pulled your body flush against his. The pounding in his head was simmering, replaced by the pounding of his heart and the electric sparks flying between you two. The gravitational force pulling him closer and closer..
His lips were just above yours, hand moving from your waist to your chin, titling your head back. His lips nearly brushing against yours.ย
โIs that a pickup line?โย
He hummed, letting his lips lightly touch yours. โNah, just an invitation.โย
โAnd if I said no?โ You asked as you snaked your hand behind his head, lightly scratching his nape and Sukuna was gone, patience snapped.ย
He crashed his lips against yours, groaning and grinding against your body as you returned the kiss, arms tightening around his neck. His tongue danced with yours and he grabbed your hips and lifted you in the air, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist. You both traded spit, his teeth biting into your lower lip and cock pushing desperately into your clothed cunt.ย
โUpstairs.โ You panted when a random person whistled, pulling back for air but Sukuna was ravenous and captured your lips again before letting you down and pulling you toward the stairs, ignoring the many people staring and the warning headshake Gojo gave him.ย
When you made it to his room, he slammed the door shut with his foot and pulled you into his embrace again. Kissing and licking at your neck, sucking hard to leave a reminder of tonight. Pride and possessiveness were terrible things and the way you were moaning in his ear only served to strengthen those emotions.ย
Sukuna was completely feral, squeezing your breasts and rubbing his thumb over your nipples as he walked you backwards. He only pulled back when the back of your legs hit the mattress, gripping your chin and pulling you impossibly closer.ย
โYou sure about this? Iโm not gentle.โ His left hand moved to your ass, sliding under the dress and cupping and squeezing. Sukuna was far from a touchy person but your body was singing to him, begging to be touched and who was he to deny that?
โMhmm, Iโm a big girl. Iโm sure I can handle it.โ You batted your eyes at him, fingers toying with the waistband of his pants and brushing against the happy trail that disappeared into his boxers. Sukuna felt his entire face heat up but before you could notice, he was ripping your dress over your head and pushing you back on the bed.ย
He towered over you, hand palming his hard cock over his pants, watching you wither on the bed beneath him. Your eyes were bright, glassy and full of need as you started running your hands over your body. Sukuna had no plans on making you wait, pulling his pants down and laying his body between your legs, grinding his covered cock into you. His lips attacked your neck before traveling down to your boobs, biting on the soft skin and licking over the spots to soothe the sting. He was sure to give each breast equally attention, leaving individual marks that were sure to bruise.
โNo need for foreplay, my panties are thoroughly soaked.โ You cried out as his fingers made contact with your clothed pussy. He smirked when he noticed you were being truthful. What a needy little slut Nanamiโs sister was. He had been set on wooโing you, not wanting to make you feel used and here you were, as big of a freak as he was.ย
โAll for me?โ He huffed out a laugh against your neck before sucking hard enough to leave another reminder of tonight, fingers pushing your panties to the side and sinking into you. You were so warm and wet, gummy walls contracting around his fingers as he pushed them deep and curled.ย
You were moaning and crying his name, singing beautiful lyrics of โngghh sukuna, need you inside of me.โ and, โoh fuck, how are your fingers so long?โ and his favorite, โI love the way you touch me.โ It made his head swell with smugness, and the sounds you were making? Sukuna thought it might ruin him, the heavy breathing and crude words coming from such sweet lips.
โGonna fuck you real good, ya hear me? Need you to cum on my fingers first, donโt be shy baby.โ His fingers pumped faster. Sukuna pressed his forehead against yours, watching your every expression to make sure he was hitting the right spots.ย
โOh! Oh god yes, Sukuna- fuck that feels- uuhhh, so good.โ Your hands were gripping his shoulders, nails digging into his skin and the pain had his dick growing impossibly harder.ย
โCome on sweetheart. You want me to make your little pussy cum, yeah? Fuck youโre so tight, gripping my fucking fingers like a virgin.โ
He started rubbing his thumb against your clit, moving in circles and grinding his dick into the bed. Your body tensed, head thrown back as you squirted on his fingers, juices spraying his shirt and Sukuna was so gone.ย
He placed a few kisses on your mouth, calling you a good girl before sitting back on his legs and pulling your panties down, lifting your body to unclasp your bra and pushing you back down. He quickly stood to pull his boxers down, his cock springing free and hitting his stomach. Pre cum was leaking from the red tip and the way you were eyeing him with blown pupils and literal drool falling from the corners of your mouth, made him want to shove his dick down your throat but he had to feel you around his cock or he just might die.ย
โWow. Thatโs- I donโt think-โย
Sukuna laughed at the uncertainty in your voice, yanking your legs open and sliding his body over yours, his cock pushing at your entrance. โWhat? Whereโs that confidence from earlier, hmm? Donโt act shy now. I'll take good care of you, baby.โย
โYouโre such a di- OH!โ You cried as he slammed forward, almost bottoming out in one thrust and making your back arch off the bed, breasts pushing against his chest and Sukuna was going crazy.ย
You were so fucking tight, gripping his cock like you were afraid it would slip out and he was instantly addicted. You were so warm, so wet and he knew he would fuck you again. He would fuck you until he satiated this need that consumed him whole.ย
โFuck, youโre taking my cock so well. Such a good little cock drunk slut.โ He groaned embarrassingly loud but he was too dizzy with euphoria to reflect on it, too drunk on your pussy himself to have any kind of rational thoughts. He lifted your legs on his shoulders and his cock sank deeper, hitting that soft wall and pounding like a sex starved man.ย
The room was filled with the sounds of your mixed moans, skin slapping together and your wet pussy sloshing and squelching as Sukuna slammed into you without mercy. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue fighting with yours before he pulled back and spit into your parted lips as you moaned his name.
You didnโt miss a beat, swallowing his spit and moving your hips to fuck yourself against him. Sukuna thought he might be in love. โHarder! Mโgonna cum again, please-โ
You yelped as he flipped you, placing you on all fours before slamming back in. Only then did he realize he never put a fucking condom on but it was too late, he was already sliding back into you, head thrown back at the sensation of your raw pussy. He fucking hated condoms anyways.
โYeah? Be careful what you ask for.โ He gripped your hips with a brute force and started slamming into you with no warning. You yelled out and fell forward but he didnโt stop. He was pounding into you like you were nothing more than his own personal fleshlight, cock hitting all the right spots and stars were exploding behind your eyes.ย
โOoohh Ryo- haaa, gonna cum again. Donโt- ngghhh- donโt stop!โย
Sukuna couldnโt breathe, chest overwhelmingly tight with desire but he didnโt stop either. You felt too fucking good for that, so he ignored it and focused on the way his stomach was tightening everytime he dragged you back against his cock. His veins dragging against your squishy walls so good, he was reaching forward and pulling you up against his chest.ย
โGet over here, pretty.โ He pulled your face to his and smashed his lips against yours, one hand holding onto your hip to keep you upright while the other worked against your dripping pussy. Pinching and rubbing at your clit with a speed that had tears leaking from your eyes as you started clenching around him.ย
Sukuna didnโt stop, moving his head to your neck and he fucked you faster, each thrust taking him deeper as his balls started tightening.ย
โAre you on birth control?โ He asked even though he had decided long ago that he was gonna stuff you full of his cum and deal with the consequences later. He had never been this irresponsible but this is the man you had reduced him to.ย
โYes! Iโm so close, Ryo-โ You were moaning like a pornstar and he almost came at the sound of his nickname leaving your lips. A name he typically only allowed family to call him but he wasnโt about to correct you while he was balls deep inside of you.ย
โGive it to me baby. Fuck Iโm gonna fill you, yeah? You want that?โย
Sweat covered his body and pink strands stuck to his forehead, his red eyes blazing from the feeling of his impending orgasm.
He rubbed at your clit faster and bit down on your neck, a few seconds away from cumming when you squeezed his cock in beats, orgasm taking you under and pulling him with you.ย
You were shaking and crying out his name and Sukuna was shooting a massive load into you, pushing deep to make sure not one drop escaped. The groan he gave was guttural, his balls pulsing as he pumped you full, white cum painting your walls so fucking good.ย
โFuck. Thatโs it, t-take my fucking cum like a good girl. Filling you so much baby-โย
Sukuna didnโt know what was happening to his body but before he could catch his breath, his hips were snapping into you as you both fell forward, his hands holding your hips as he grinded deep into you, shooting an even bigger load into you as you writhed beneath him and he groaned loud and long.ย
He fucked you into the mattress as he rode out his second orgasm, mouth dropped open, hips twitching until he was left a panting mess above you. He pushed into you a few times, riding out his high and making certain his cum stayed where it belonged before kissing your shoulder and rolling onto the bed beside you.ย
He was so blissed out he didnโt even question it as he pulled your body into his, hardly giving himself time to breathe before he was wrapping his arms around you and tucking his face in your neck.ย
Sukuna had never slept as well as he did that night and to say he was disappointed to find you gone in the morning, would be an understatement.
He had no idea that he would be seeing a whole lot more of you in the very near future.
note: guys I promise the next chapters will be longer! but lemme know what you think, comments are always appreciated! <3
being at sukuna's race alone is new to you. you've always been accompanied by your friends. it's odd. the amplification surrounding you is disorienting without your loved ones to enjoy it with.
"your friends not here today?"
you look to your left where the voice sourced from.
it's geto. tagging along far behind him is gojo, utahime and shoko.
"hey. nah, they're all busy," you reply.
"dedicated," geto nods with a sharp nod.
you're not close with geto like that. not the way you are with shoko and utahime, however, he provides a quiet guidance you never knew you needed. it's hushed, trustworthy, like an older brother you never had.
"hm, you know?" you ask.
"your side? yes. sukuna's...? well," geto answers. "sukuna doesn't paint the whole picture for us."
"i see."
"y/n!"
you think it's shoko or utahime calling you. you're shocked to find naoya in front of you, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"i've been texting you. looks like my texts aren't going through," he answers.
you can see exactly how a girl would fall for the likes of him. thank god megumi told you what he did.
suddenly, an arm wraps around your shoulder. you freeze, finding sukuna right beside you, arm protectively on you.
"stop moving to her, zenin. she's not interested."
his harsh tone sends chills down your spine.
"not interested," you repeat, shaking your head mockingly.
naoya is looking between the two of you, trying to put the pieces in his head.
"so, you're going to take her with you?" he asks.
"gotta ask the lady permission first," sukuna replies, peering down at you, arm still on you.
you smile up at him, "of course i'll come with you."
naoya just leaves, seemingly seething at the betrayal.
"ready?" sukuna asks you.
"mhm."
the two of you walk away, geto's eyes piercing at the back of your heads.
sukuna and you get into his car at the start line. you're excited to say the least. you've never been in his racecar before. as soon as you enter it, you can see how much time, precision and effort he puts into it. it's cleaner than anything that belongs to him and you've seen his room before.
you buckle up beside him, rolling down your window to have a look outside.
people are shouting, anticipating the race to begin. especially after they found out that you left naoya to go with sukuna, it got people talking.
a flashy yellow car pulls up beside you.
the window is rolled down, naoya's cocky face filling the expanse, "you're gonna regret that, y/n."
"awww, don't tell me your feelings are hurt, naoya," you pout.
he rolls his eyes, "so you blocked me on purpose?"
"can't be associated with the likes of you," you reply sharply. "i love women, sorry."
you roll up the window before he can utter another word.
sukuna's smiling all smug, facing the front.
you turn to him, hitting his arm, "what? you like it when you're not at the bad end of the stick, huh?"
"surprisingly, yeah," he answers lowly.
"don't mess up again."
"i don't intend to," sukuna says.
that causes your heart to skip a beat. it truly does feel like you're getting closer to sukuna in all the ways you wanted to. it seemed that all your absurdity has finally caught up and created a result you could only dream of.
sukuna takes his victory back easily tonight.
the race is smooth, completely in his favour. fated. it's like the moment he fixed the conflict with you, it all came back to him. the pride, you, his passion for what he does.
after rolling through the finish line, the two of you shout in victory. and then, he grabs your face, pulling you into a quick kiss. he pulls out as you blink in confusion. you feel your lips with your fingers, doubting your reality. he's staring at you too, body rigid.
suddenly, you grab him by the nape and pull him in, kissing him again. he grunts against your lips, hands sliding down to your waist. it's like straight out of the moviesโthe fans screaming outside the car at the win, his lips on yours longingly and your pulse pounding inside your head.
when the two of you pull out, you're slightly dazed.
"congratulations," you almost whisper.
"thanks," he smiles. and it's sincere, just for you. an ounce of softness rising from all the ego. you treasure it with your whole heart.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE โ IM SO SORRY FOR DIPPING ON U GUYS i had stuff to submit for uni but i'm back. i was gonna upload twice tonight but i have a group presentation first thing tmmrw so i gyat to sleep unfortunately but trust, double update tmmrw to make up for this!!! thank u for reading LOVE U
SUMMARY โ he believes you don't matter to him. just one more annoying fangirl. showing up to his races, being obnoxiously chatty and your flirtingโgod, does it end? sukuna dreads you. however, he starts reciprocating, as a joke, of course! until it doesn't feel like a joke anymore and he wants nothing but you on his side.
PAIRING โ streetracer!sukuna x fem!reader
CONTENT WARNINGS / GENRES / TAGS โ smau w/ written chapters, smut, angst, sukuna is a lot older than reader, older brother to choso and yuji, he was in jail for getting caught racing LOL, nsfw/vulgar jokes like allll the time, inumaki talks (UNFORTUNATELY), sukuna playing w her feelings, he is toxic!
You arrive at Sukuna's palace as his third wifeโa political offering, nothing more. Unlike your predecessors, you don't arrive with expectations of love or power. You arrive with seeds for a dead garden and kindness for forgotten servants. In a palace built on fear, you plant hope. And the Emperor notices.
WC: 2,891 โโโใโ masterlist
The cherry blossoms had long since fallen.
Winter gripped the palace grounds in skeletal fingers, leaving behind bare branches and frozen earth. It was fitting, you thought, for a place like thisโa palace ruled by a man they called a monster, a curse, a demon in human skin.
Ryomen Sukuna.
Your husband, as of three hours ago.
The wedding ceremony had been efficient. Cold. You'd been dressed in the finest silkโcrimson and gold, colors that complemented the tattoos you'd glimpsed on his skinโand led through corridors that seemed to stretch endlessly. The few servants you'd passed had kept their eyes down, their footsteps hurried, as if lingering too long in these halls might invite catastrophe.
You didn't blame them.
You'd heard the stories. Everyone had. The Emperor who'd conquered lands with nothing but his cursed energy and ruthlessness. The man who'd taken a first wife and cast her aside when her jealousy became tiresome. A second wife who'd lasted even less timeโtoo vapid, too eager to please, ultimately too boring to keep his interest.
Now there was you.
The third wife.
A treaty offering from your father's province, a political band-aid for a conflict your family couldn't hope to win. You'd accepted your fate with the same quiet grace you'd accepted everything else in lifeโwith steady hands and a calm heart, even when your mother had wept.
"Someone will show you to your chambers," the officiant had said after the ceremony, and then you'd been alone.
Not entirely alone, you supposed. Somewhere in this sprawling palace, Sukuna's concubines resided. You'd seen a few during the ceremonyโbeautiful women dripping in jewels, their eyes sharp as they assessed the new wife. You'd met their gazes evenly, offering a small nod of acknowledgment.
You weren't here to make enemies. You weren't naive enough to think you could make friends either.
The shoji door slid open, and two young women enteredโboth looking no older than yourself. They bowed in perfect unison, their movements practiced but stiff with nervousness.
"Empress," the first one said, her voice barely above a whisper. She had gentle brown eyes and her hands trembled slightly. "I am Danielle. This is Haerin. We've been assigned to attend to you."
The second girlโHaerinโkept her eyes downcast, her posture rigid with fear. She was as pretty as Danielle, with delicate features and long lashes, but she looked like she wanted to disappear into the floor.
"Thank you, Danielle. Haerin." You kept your voice soft, gentle, and watched as both girls' eyes widened in surprise. "I appreciate your help. This palace is... quite large. I'm afraid I'll get lost without guidance."
Danielle blinked rapidly, as if kindness was unexpected. Perhaps it was, in a place like this. "Y-yes, Empress. Your chambers have been prepared. If you'll follow us?"
They led you through more corridors, these ones slightly warmer, touched by braziers that cast dancing shadows on the walls. You noticed how they walkedโHana slightly ahead, Haerin trailing behind, both of them glancing nervously at closed doors as if expecting something terrible to emerge.
Your chambers, when you finally reached them, were surprisingly beautifulโspacious, with painted screens depicting cranes in flight, and a small garden visible through the windows.
A dead garden, you noted. Winter-killed and abandoned.
"Will there be anything else, Empress?" Danielle asked, while Haerin began arranging your few belongings with quick, efficient movements.
You turned to them both, offering a small smile. "Please, when we're alone, you can call me by my name if you'd like. And yesโdo you know if there are gardening tools available? Seeds, perhaps?"
Both girls froze. Haerin's hands stilled on the silk robe she'd been folding.
"G-gardening tools, my lady?" Danielle stammered.
"The garden outside." You gestured to the window. "It seems a shame to leave it barren. I'd like to plant winter camellias. And perhaps some early plum blossoms, if the soil can support them."
Haerin finally spoke, her voice soft and uncertain. "But my lady... it's winter. Nothing will grow untilโ"
"Spring," you finished gently. "I know. But seeds need time to root, even in the cold. And hope needs something to tend to."
The two girls exchanged glances, something unspoken passing between them. Then Danielle straightened her shoulders. "I... I'll inquire about the tools, my lady. We should have such things in storage."
"Thank you, Danielle." You looked at Haerin, who was still staring at you with wide, uncertain eyes. "And Haerin, if you're not too busy tomorrow, would you help me plan the garden layout? I'd appreciate another perspective."
The girl's mouth opened, closed, then opened again. "M-me, my lady?"
"Yes, you. I imagine you know this palace better than I do. You'd know where the sun hits, where the shadows fall."
A faint blush colored Haerin's cheeks. "I... yes, my lady. I would be honored."
You didn't see Sukuna for three days.
It didn't surprise you. Political marriages rarely involved actual interaction, and you imagined an emperor had better things to do than visit a wife he'd been forced to take.
So you kept yourself occupied.
The garden became your first project. You worked alongside Danielle and Harinโmuch to their shockโkneeling in the cold earth with your sleeves tied back, planting camellia seeds with careful hands.
"My lady, please," Danielle had protested on the first day, looking genuinely distressed. "This isn't proper. If the Emperor seesโ"
"Then he sees," you'd said simply, patting soil over a seed. "My mother always said that anything worth having is worth working for. Besides, I like the feel of earth under my fingernails. It reminds me that I'm alive."
Haerin had knelt beside you then, hesitantly at first, then with growing confidence. "My grandmother used to garden," she'd said softly. "Before she passed. She said that plants were like peopleโthey needed patience and care to thrive."
"Your grandmother sounds wise," you'd replied, and the smile Haerin gave you was like sunlight breaking through clouds.
Word spread quickly through the palace. The new empress, kneeling in the dirt like a common servant. The new empress, who spoke gently to her attendants and worked alongside them. The new empress, who didn't demand or throw tantrums or weep dramatically like the others.
You pretended not to notice the whispers, but you noticed how Danielle and Haerin began to relax around you. How Danielle started humming while she worked. How Haerin laughedโactually laughedโwhen you made a joke about your dirt-stained hands.
On the fourth day, you encountered your first concubine.
She was beautifulโof course she wasโwith long dark hair and sharp, calculating eyes. She found you in the garden again, wrapped in a thick cloak against the winter wind, sketching plans for a stone path while Danielle and Haerinarranged tools nearby.
"So you're the new one," she said without preamble.
You looked up, setting down your charcoal. Danielle and Haerin immediately tensed, bowing low. You gestured for them to rise. "I am. And you're...?"
"Ningning." She tilted her head, studying you like a cat studies a mouse. Her gaze flickered to your attendants dismissively before returning to you. "I've been here two years. Longer than either of your predecessors."
"Then you must be very special," you said simply, without irony.
That seemed to throw her. Her eyes narrowed. "You're not what I expected."
"I'm sorry to disappoint."
"I didn't say I was disappointed." She crouched down, her fine robes pooling around her, seemingly unconcerned about the dirt. "The first wife was a shrew. The second was a fool. What are you?"
You considered the question, then smiled. "A gardener, apparently."
Despite herself, Ningning laughed. It was a surprised sound, quickly stifled. "You're planting flowers in winter. That makes you a fool too."
"Perhaps," you agreed. "But even fools can hope for spring."
She studied you for another long moment, then stood. "He'll break you," she said, not unkindly. "Sukuna breaks everything eventually. It's his nature."
"Maybe," you said softly. "Or maybe some things are strong enough to bend instead of break."
Ningning left without another word, but you thought you saw something like respect in her eyes.
After she was gone, Haerin leaned closer to you. "My lady... you weren't afraid of her."
"Should I have been?"
"The second empress was," Danielle said quietly. "She used to cry after the concubines visited. Said they were cruel to her."
You looked at both girls thoughtfully. "Did you know the second empress well?"
They exchanged glances. "We didn't serve her," Haerin admitted. "We worked in the kitchens usually. But we heard things."
"She screamed at the servants," Danielle added, her voice barely a whisper. "Threw things when she was angry. We were... surprised when we were assigned to you. We thought..."
"You thought I'd be the same," you finished gently.
Both girls looked down, ashamed.
"It's alright," you said, reaching out to squeeze Danielle's hand briefly. "You can't be blamed for expecting the worst. But I promise you bothโI'm not here to make anyone's life harder. We're all just trying to survive in our own ways."
Haerin's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Thank you, my lady," she whispered.
You met Sukuna on the fifth night.
You'd been preparing for bed, braiding your hair by candlelight, when the door opened without warning. Danielle and Haerin had left for the eveningโyou'd insisted they rest, that you could manage aloneโso when his massive frame filled the doorway, you were alone.
Completely alone.
With the man they called a monster.
He was... larger than you'd expected. Taller. The tattoos you'd glimpsed during the ceremony covered more of his skinโintricate patterns that seemed to move in the flickering light. His eyes, all four of them, fixed on you with an intensity that would have made lesser women tremble.
You set down your brush and stood, bowing respectfully. "Emperor."
"Sukuna," he corrected, his voice like gravel and silk. "You're my wife. Use my name."
"Sukuna," you repeated softly.
He moved into the room with predatory grace, and you noticed he was studying you the same way Ningning hadโlike he was trying to solve a puzzle. His eyes traveled from your simple sleeping robe to your bare feet, to the loose braid draped over your shoulder.
"You're not afraid," he observed.
"Should I be?"
"Most people are."
You met his gaze steadily. "Most people haven't been raised by a father who negotiated with warlords since childhood. I learned early that fear is only useful if it keeps you alive. Otherwise, it's just... exhausting."
Something flickered in his expression. Amusement? Curiosity?
He moved closer, and you caught his scentโsandalwood and something darker, like smoke and steel. He reached out, and you held perfectly still as he caught your braid between his fingers, testing its weight.
"You've been gardening," he said.
Not a question. A statement.
"Yes."
"In winter."
"Yes."
"Why?"
You considered how to answer. Honesty, you decided, was probably safest with a man who could smell lies. "Because the garden was dead, and I don't like looking at dead things. Because even in winter, there's potential for growthโyou just have to be patient enough to wait for it. And because..." you paused, then continued softly, "because I needed something beautiful to tend to."
His eyesโall of themโfocused on you with unnerving intensity. "You think you can make something beautiful here? In my palace?"
"I think," you said carefully, "that beauty exists everywhere, if you're willing to look for it. Even in unlikely places."
For a long moment, he said nothing. Then, unexpectedly, he smiledโa sharp, dangerous thing that should have terrified you.
It didn't.
"The others tried to change me," he said, releasing your braid. "The first wife wept and begged me to send away my concubines. The second tried to seduce me into compliance, thinking her body was enough to hold my attention."
"I have no intention of changing you," you replied. "You are who you are. An emperor. A force of nature. I'd have better luck trying to convince winter to become spring ahead of schedule."
"And yet you plant flowers."
"I plant flowers," you agreed, "because that's who I am. Not to change the winter, but to be ready when spring comes on its own."
He stared at you for so long you wondered if you'd said something wrong. Then he turned and walked to the door.
"The servants say you work alongside them," he said without looking back. "That you learn their names and ask about their families."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because they're people," you said simply. "And people deserve to be seen."
He paused in the doorway, his massive frame silhouetted against the corridor light. "You're strange."
"I've been told that before."
"I haven't decided yet," he said, "if you're wise or foolish."
"Perhaps I'm both," you offered. "Most interesting people are."
You could have sworn you heard him laughโa low, rumbling soundโbefore he disappeared into the darkness.
Sleep came surprisingly easily that night.
The next morning, you found something waiting in your garden.
A single winter camellia, already in bloom, planted in the center of the space you'd been preparing. Its petals were the palest pink, almost white, delicate against the frozen earth.
Impossible. Camellias from seed took years to bloom.
But there it was.
Danielle and Haerin found you staring at it, your fingers pressed to your lips.
"The Emperor's work," Danielle whispered, her eyes wide. "His cursed energy can manipulate growth. Force life from death." She hesitated. "He's never used it for flowers before. Only for... other purposes."
Haerin clutched your arm gently. "My lady... what does it mean?"
You knelt beside the camellia, touching its petals with reverent fingers. They were real. Alive. Beautiful.
"Even monsters," you whispered, "can create something gentle."
Behind you, your two attendants exchanged hopeful glances.
And high above, unseen and unheard, Sukuna watched from a window.
He told himself it was a whim. A momentary curiosity about the strange woman who'd invaded his palace with her quiet voice and dirt-stained hands.
summary: sukuna has loved you since you were in high school, and when he finally gets his chance with you, four years after graduation, he's the perfect boyfriend.
he treats you like you're worth more than the entire world, devoted solely to you, committed to keeping you healthy and happy in his arms for all eternity.
if only he wasn't killing people behind your back.
word count: 11.5k
content: 18+ mdni, smut, dub-con in the later chapters, dark content, rough sex, yandere sukuna, obsession, stalking, murder, blood, gore, manipulation, deception, unhealthy dynamics, jealousy, cheating (reader cheats on her bf with sukuna), sukuna is awful in this but he's good to reader exclusively, fic takes place in the early 2000s, piv, domination, blow job, somnophilia (kind of? he wakes her up to have sex), sukuna breaks into her house
It was a warm morning, just over six weeks after the first time Sukuna had brought you back to his house. Golden sunlight was streaming in through the narrow gaps of his cheap blinds, casting an angelic glow over your soft body.ย
He was pretty sure he was in heaven.ย
He felt that way all the time now, because youโd spent the last month and a half practically glued to his side, just like heโd always wanted. Most evenings you were over at his place, tangled up in his sheets, letting him fulfill every fantasy that heโd had over the many years that heโd longed for you. Then youโd stay over, curled up in his arms, and every morning heโd wake up to the beautiful sight of you at his side, your face buried into his chest.ย
It was everything heโd ever desired.ย
On that particular morning, you were fulfilling his desires to an even greater extent than usual, kneeling between his thighs with your plump lips wrapped firmly around his cock.ย
His back was resting against the headboard, crimson eyes still a little hazy with sleep as he gazed down at you, etching the sight before him into his brain. You looked so cute, so intensely focussed on pleasing him, your fingers digging into his tattooed thighs while you struggled to keep your balance.ย
One of his hands was curled into your hair, not quite dictating your movements - because he loved letting you please him in whichever manner you wished, but there as a reminder to not pull back, to keep your mouth on him until he was satisfied.ย
โThatโs it, baby,โ he hummed, ruffling your hair. โJust like I taught you.โย
The first time youโd sucked his cock you hadnโt been all that good at it. It was a fact that had pleased him, because it suggested that you hadnโt had a whole lot of practice with other people. Ryu and Kashimo clearly hadnโt received such a service from you, which meant that he was special, worth more than either of your previous flings.ย
Naturally, heโd helped you improve over the last few weeks with a stern but guiding hand, and now you were practically a pro, servicing him in the exact manner that heโd like. Your tongue was dragging along the bottom of his cock, your hand stroking the portion that you couldnโt quite fit into your mouth.ย
โLook at me,โ he commanded in a husky tone. Your eyes fluttered open, tears gathering in the corners as you stared up at him. It was a truly angelic sight - your glossy lips spread wide to accommodate him, cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. โSuch a pretty thing, huh?โย
You hummed in affirmation, refusing to let up on the task at hand - he felt a surge of pride at your diligence, demonstrating just how well heโd taught you to please him. He should really reward you later, perhaps that night heโd eat you out until you were crying, offer you something different from the usual punishments heโd been giving you lately.ย
Although, he wasnโt quite sure that you knew the difference between a reward and a punishment, based on how intentionally bratty you tended to be with him in the bedroom - something heโd been thrilled to discover. You werenโt concealing your masochism from him very well, always whining in sheer pleasure whenever heโd bend you over his knee.ย
It suited him just fine, considering that he was undoubtedly a sadist.ย
But right now you were being good, probably because you were a little tired, sleep still lining your pretty eyes. You were bobbing your head with confidence, doing your best to keep eye contact, flicking your tongue against his shaft in just the way he liked.ย
Fuck, you were perfect.ย
He groaned out your name as he came, tugging your hair to ensure that you stayed in place while he drained himself into your mouth. He was almost certain that you wouldnโt have made an attempt to pull away regardless, but it always turned him on to exert any amount of control over you.ย
It turned you on too. He could see it in your eyes. There was no denying that you loved it when he was in charge.
Swallowing his seed, you pulled back and swiped a hand across your lips to clean yourself off. You shot him an innocent little smile that made his heart flip, because he could never understand how someone so cute was equally capable of being so sexy.ย
โLook at you,โ he hummed, an easy grin spreading across his face. He wanted to keep you right there in his bed, looking exactly like that, for all eternity.ย
โDid it feel good, Kuna?โ You asked, cheeks all flushed, eager for his approval.ย
โMmm. Really good, baby.โ You practically beamed at him, and the sight had his cock hardening once more. โCome here.โ He patted his thighs, hoping that youโd climb on top of him and ride him for a while - that was the one thing that could make his perfect morning even better.ย
Unfortunately, you shook your head at him. โNo - weโve gotta leave soon. Later, though.โย
Sukuna suppressed the urge to groan, because he really wasnโt looking forward to that morningโs outing. The past few weeks had been bliss largely because no one else had been made aware of your relationship - youโd kept the whole thing completely under wraps, mainly because youโd wanted to see how seriously things progressed before sharing the news.ย
Heโd understood that sentiment, even though heโd already been certain that the two of you were going to stay together forever. It wasnโt the worst thing to delay being on the receiving end of scrutiny from your friends.
But today was the day that he finally had to face Yuki. Youโd broken the news to her via text a couple of days ago, and now you were going out on some double date with her and Choso. Apparently, sheโd wanted to meet you alone first, but youโd essentially used Sukuna as a human shield, hoping that by making the two of them spend some time together, they might realise that they could get along.ย
As if that was ever going to happen.ย
If his love for you was an unstoppable force, Yukiโs hatred for him was an immovable object. Not that heโd ever truly let that get in the way. If she wanted to despise him, so be it, he couldnโt care less about her opinion so long as he had you at his side.ย
Satoru had told him that the best thing to do was just play nice, and then if Yuki was unpleasant to him, she was the one that came off looking bad. That was easy enough to achieve, but it still didnโt mean he was looking forward to it.ย
Heโd much rather spend the day doing something alone with you - that was all he ever really wanted.ย
Leaning forward, you planted a gentle kiss on his lips, sending his heart racing. He wasnโt sure that heโd ever really get used to you kissing him so freely, and on more than one occasion heโd pinched himself because he found it hard to believe that you were truly his now.ย
โIโm gonna quickly hop in the shower.โย
โWant me to join?โ He asked hopefully, pouting when you shook your head incredulously.ย
โI said quickly, Kuna.โย
โI can be quick.โย
โNot quick enough,โ you said with a breathy laugh, before pushing your way into the bathroom. He smiled at the sound of you humming a soft tune under your breath on the other side of the door, the noise partially drowned out as you turned on the water.ย
Over the last few weeks the two of you had already fallen into a number of comfortable domestic patterns like this one. For some reason, the idea of lying in bed while you were naked in the next room just going about your day, filled his heart with warmth. It had an intimacy to it that heโd never experienced with anyone else.ย
He never wanted to experience it with anyone else.ย
Part of him even wanted to drift off back to sleep listening to the sweet sound of your musical tune in the background, but the time that you spent in the shower was important to him for more reasons than simply basking in domestic bliss.ย
Sitting up on his bed, he reached over to where your phone was sitting on the side cabinet, flipping it open and checking through your texts. He just needed to make sure that you were on the right track, needed to ensure that no one was poisoning you against him behind his back. It was only fair that he checked - you were his, after all.ย
There were a handful of texts from Yuki that he hadnโt seen before, various vile messages about him, all followed by diplomatic responses from you in which you tried to convince her that he really wasnโt that bad.ย
It was heart-warming, the level to which youโd defend him to someone youโd known since childhood. You really were into him.ย
You had no idea how much of a service you were doing your friend just in the simple act of standing up for him, because if he saw so much as a hint of you being swayed by Yukiโs antagonistic ramblings, sheโd be joining Kashimo at the bottom of the river.ย
Outside of Yuki, you didn't receive many texts. Heโd seen most of them in his last snooping session and there were very few new ones - just a few from Shoko and from your mother. He was glad to see that there were no messages from any of Kashimoโs friends - particularly his bandmates whom Sukuna was concerned that you mightโve known to some extent.
He was certain that heโd covered his bases well enough on that front though. Heโd had a blast using Kashimoโs phone to carefully destroy every single one of the boyโs social ties. He wanted to ensure that no one would care enough to start asking questions about where he was.ย
Not that anyone would be able to find him now anyway - even if someone managed to dredge up his body from the river, it would be impossible to identify him. Sukuna had mutilated him beyond recognition, unwilling to show mercy to any man who had laid his hands onto you - they werenโt worthy of kind or respectable deaths.ย
He was the only one that deserved to feel the touch of your soft skin.ย
Reading through the messages from Shoko, he found nothing of interest. She was much less averse to him than Yuki was, sending you a simple congratulations and moving the conversation on to her current medical school woes. He was glad that you had at least one friend who had some sense to her.ย
The only texts that really concerned him came from your mother.ย
Your parents didnโt know about him, he was sure of that, even if you hadnโt outright discussed it. He could see it in the way that you grew nervous whenever your father would see you hanging out together at work, as if you were ready to pick a fight. He assumed that theyโd said something about not tolerating a guy like him.ย
He kind of understood it - if he had a daughter and she came home with some massive guy covered head to toe in tattoos, he probably wouldnโt trust the dude either.
But regardless, the messages pissed him off.ย
[Mom]: Hey sweetie! Remember the Higurumas are coming for dinner on saturday so your dad wants you to be at home for the evening
[Mom]: Apparently Hiromi is newly single! ๐
[Mom]: I hope youโre doing okay, I feel like Iโve barely seen you recently! I know it's not cool to be living with your parents but youโre always welcome hereย
[Mom]: Give Yuki my love ๐
He squinted at the message for a while, a little angry because youโd replied with a cheery โokay, see you then!โ text yesterday evening, after heโd gone to sleep, which suggested that you didnโt want him to know and hadnโt been planning on telling him.ย
Why wouldnโt you want to tell him? Who the hell was Hiromi? Youโd definitely never mentioned him before, was he some childhood crush or something? Were you keeping this quiet because you wanted to see the guy before making a judgement on whether he was more desirable to you than Sukuna was?ย
What the fuck?
Youโd spent the last six weeks happier than ever and now you were entertaining your parents trying to set you up with some random guy? That was just bullshit. You should be averse to so much as even glancing in another guyโs direction now that he was around.ย
Regardless, he did his best to simmer down his anger, carefully placing your phone back on the nightstand and acting all nonchalant when you finally emerged from the bathroom. For a few seconds, he genuinely forgot that he was angry at all, because the sight of you wrapped up in a towel did wonders distracting him. It was difficult to be mad at you when you were giving him some sultry look, moisture still dripping from your soft curves.ย
โNot getting ready yet, Kuna?โ You asked innocently, bending over to dig through the drawer heโd cleaned out for you, looking for an outfit to throw on for your breakfast date. He watched you carefully, wetting his lips at the sight, mesmerised by the way your thighs peeked out from beneath the white towel.ย
โJust zoning out,โ he responded, shifting atop the sheets until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, closer to where you were slowly pulling on clothes. His initial rage over your phone had dissipated - he was certain that nothing was your fault, it was your conniving parents trying to separate you from him, that was all.ย
You were into him. In fact, he was pretty damn sure that you loved him, even if you hadnโt said it yet. Yeah, you were blameless, there was a reasonable explanation for everything.ย
โHey, do you wanna go somewhere this weekend?โ He posed the question casually, eager to observe your reaction. If you tried hiding things from him then there was an issue, if not then he could calm down and admit that he overreacted.
You scrunched your face up in disappointment. โI canโt, sorry. Got some stupid family thing.โ There was no anxiety in your response, not even a fleeting moment where you considered lying to him, and that put him at ease.ย
It was nice to know that your first instinct wasnโt to hide anything from him.ย
โA family thing?โ He pressed a little harder, because while he appreciated you telling him anything at all, he wanted to see how transparent youโd be about the situation, about this guy that your mother clearly wanted to set you up with.ย
โYeah, one of my dadโs old school buddies is coming to stay for the night with his wife and son. We used to go on holidays and stuff with them when I was a kid but I havenโt seen them in years, they moved to the city when I was like twelve.โย
โOh, youโve gotta deal with some annoying kid for the evening then?โ He wasnโt sure how casual that question was, but he had to get you talking about this Hiromi guy, and that seemed like an innocuous way to do it.ย
You giggled. โNo, their son is our age. Heโs like a lawyer or something. Iโm sure itโll be a painfully boring and refined dinner party.โย
Sukuna hummed, relatively satisfied with your truthful answer but far from happy about the situation itself.ย
If the guy was a lawyer it was no wonder that your parents wanted to set you up with him.ย He hoped this Hiromi wasnโt charming or handsome, because the idea of you fawning over the guy made him feel sick. He also hoped that your parents wouldnโt push things beyond a single family dinner, because then heโd be forced to take drastic action and no one wanted that.ย
It was supposed to be easier to keep his hands clean now that he actually had you.ย
โCan I come along?โ He said it in a joking tone, but he was half serious. If youโd have said yes he wouldโve taken the opportunity and run with it.ย
You were quick to shake your head. โSorry Kuna, I need to ease my parents into finding out that weโre dating. I think my dad would throw a fit if I showed up to a special dinner with you in tow. Iโll introduce you another time. Promise.โย
โSure.โ He smiled at you, letting you plant a sweet kiss on his lips before ushering him to hurry up and get ready. He did everything he could to stop the disappointment from showing on his face - he couldnโt let you know how deeply your rejection had wounded his pride.ย
The promise had felt hollow to him - perhaps you werenโt ever really planning on introducing him to your parents as your boyfriend. Were you embarrassed to be with him? It was easy for you to act loyal when you were at his side, but just how would you act with some handsome lawyer thrust into your path?
Sukuna would certainly be keeping an eye on the situation, because as much as he loved you, where his possession of you was concerned he would be leaving absolutely no room for doubt. He needed to be certain that you were his at all times, whether in his presence or elsewhere.ย
โYou gonna play nice with Yuki today?โ You asked, peering down at him with what he imagined was supposed to be a stern look. Youโd clearly moved on from the conversation about your parents, dismissing the whole thing as unimportant.ย
Whatever, heโd come back to it after heโd made it through the breakfast from hell.ย ย
โI always play nice.โย
โSure you do,โ you mocked. He didnโt appreciate the shit-eating grin that you sported, because heโd gone out of his way to appear good around you and despised the implication that he wasnโt.ย
Even if it was just a joke.ย
โI do.โ He responded, with a pout, reaching for your wrist and tugging you down onto his lap. You let out a little yelp of surprise, giggling as he peppered kisses over your face. โJust you wait and see baby, Iโm sure me and Yuki will be best friends by lunchtime.โย
โ
โYou guys sure seem happy together!โ Choso chirped, blissfully unaware of the tension gripping the table. โWe can go on double dates all the time now!โย
โWeโll see,โ Yuki muttered.ย
The four of you were cramped into a booth at the back of Dougโs, waiting for your orders to arrive. Sukunaโs arm was draped possessively over your shoulder, a challenging smirk fixed on his face as he stared down at Yuki, practically goading her on to say something untoward. Her expression was stony, clear displeasure flickering in her brown eyes.
Sure, it would upset you if your best friend started squabbling with him, and he didnโt like to see you upset, but he did like the way it would make Yuki look unreasonable, and likely push you further into his arms.ย
For all of that womanโs attempts, there wasnโt a chance in hell that Sukuna was going to let her succeed in keeping you apart.ย
โIโd like that!โ You offered Choso a smile. Sukuna could tell that it was forced, because you were fully aware of the tension sparking in the air around you. Your body was a little tensed up in his grip, and your eyes kept moving to Yuki, like you were afraid that she was going to explode.ย
It was as if you couldnโt date who you liked without fear of her attacking you for it.ย
God, talk about controlling.ย
โSo, how long has this been going on?โ Yuki asked, gesturing between the two of you. She made little effort to hide the distaste in her tone, and Sukuna could feel you shrinking down beside him, like you wanted to disappear beneath her scrutiny.ย
โAlmost two months,โ you mumbled.ย
โMm-hmm. Great.โย
โI always figured you guys would get together one day,โ Choso said, โSukuna could never stop talking about you in high school - me and Satoru got real sick of hearing your name.โ
Sukuna probably shouldโve been embarrassed at his friend's words, but he wasnโt. Heโd never let himself feel bad for being into you. These days everyone liked to play things so cool and it was frankly pathetic - if there was something he wanted, why shouldnโt he go for it with all the enthusiasm in the world?ย
Satoru kept trying to play it cool with girls and it was the reason that heโd been haplessly chasing after crushes with no success for years. Sukuna had everything that he wanted with you because he was a shameless go-getter. It was undoubtedly the best way to live your life.ย
โWell, youโre gonna get even more sick of it,โ he said casually, giving you a firm squeeze. Yuki looked like she was about to throw up.ย
โThatโs so sappy,โ you mumbled, but he could see the smile playing on your lips. Oh you loved him, he knew that you did, your pulse was likely racing right now, all flustered by the smallest of actions.
How cute.
โI guess this is why youโve been too busy to hang out lately?โ Yuki asked, all of her focus directed towards you. She didnโt flinch, keeping her eyes on your face even as the waiter came by to put your food on the table.ย
Sukuna really wanted to tell her to mind her own fucking business, wanted to step up and defend you from someone who had no right to judge you in the severe manner that she was. But he knew that probably wouldnโt play out for him in the way that he wanted, and the last thing he needed was you getting genuinely mad at him.ย
โSorry, yeah. I know you donโt um-โ you paused, glancing between your boyfriend and best friend nervously. โI know you donโt exactly approve but I didnโt want to keep hiding it from you. We never keep secrets from each other.โ There was a slight tremor in your voice, like you were terrified that Yuki was going to go off at you.ย
But your tone seemed to catch her off guard, eyebrows raising as her expression softened significantly.ย
โSo- so Iโm here telling you about it and hoping that maybe you can give him the benefit of the doubt. Please.โ That softness was absent as she glanced back at Sukuna. It was almost like he could see the thoughts racing through her mind, questioning just what heโd done to make you desire him with such intensity.ย
But as she switched her attention back to you, her shoulders dropped ever so slightly, that defensive stature of hers beginning to mellow. The gentle quality of her gaze had jealousy churning up in his stomach, hitting him with a gut-wrenching question about the nature of Yukiโs feelings towards you.ย
She didnโt love you, right? Not like he did. And yet, he found himself unsure, wondering if Yukiโs protective actions went beyond mere friendship - it would explain a lot about why she was so adverse to him.ย
Either way, she was not getting in his way.ย
โI like him a lot, Yuki,โ you continued, huddling yourself closer to him. โI also like you a lot and I donโt want you to make me choose - it's not fair. Iโm not saying that you two have to be friends, but Iโm asking if you can at least be in the same space without looking like youโre going to kill each other? For me?โ
โFine by me,โ Sukuna said with a shrug, taking a long sip of coffee and pretending not to notice the way that Yuki gritted her teeth. She hated that he was so civil, she hated that he was clearly winning this exchange with his poise and grace that she was so clearly lacking.ย
If it ever did come to choosing, Sukuna was certain that youโd choose him over your raging bestie.ย
Yuki sighed, biting down on her lip. You reached out across the table to her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. โPlease?โ It pissed him off that you had to beg her for anything, she should be begging to be your friend, and yet here you were lowering yourself to stay in her good books?ย
That was just fucked up.ย
Why did you need anyone other than him anyway?
โOkay, fine,โ Yuki said finally. You lit up beside him, a bright smile spreading across your pretty face as you gave Yukiโs hand another quick squeeze before pulling back.ย
โThank you!โย
โBut,โ she continued, looking at Sukuna once more, โyou hurt her in any way and I will hunt you down. Let that be a promise.โย
โOh how scary. Sure.โ The grin never left his face. Wouldnโt that be a treat? The thought of Yuki showing up to his apartment ready to throw down had his blood pumping - no one could fault him for killing her if sheโd literally started it. She had no idea what he was capable of.ย
โPerfect!โ Your voice was still wavering slightly, but Sukuna could hear the effort you were putting into sounding chipper. โSo let's move on and treat this less like an interrogation and more like a double date, yeah? Uh- Choso! Howโs the band stuff going?โย
Choso, who seemed largely unbothered by the altercation that had just gone down, perked up at the mention of his name, launching into a tirade about how the band was being pulled in three directions because everyone wanted to play different music. Apparently they were also suffering from mixed levels of commitment, since neither Suguru nor Toji were interested in taking their band anywhere further than Tojiโs garage.ย
The rest of the morning passed by mainly like that, involving easy discussions about various things, never touching on the matter of relationships. Even Yuki seemed to loosen up after a while, giving up on glaring at Sukuna and instead telling you all about what sheโd been up to over the last few weeks, filling you in on all the gossip.ย
It was nice, almost serene, and Sukuna was starting to think that he might escape this whole thing unscathed.ย
Unfortunately, he found himself relaxing a little too soon, because the second that you announced that you needed to head to the toilet, he saw that malicious glimmer reappear in Yukiโs eyes.ย
All sheโd been waiting for was for you to disappear off for a second so that she could finally have her pound of flesh.
Sukuna was certain that if he was a different man, someone more like poor Kashimo, heโd be quaking in his boots at the idea of being left alone with Yuki, especially with the way she was glowering at him.ย
And he really was alone, because the second the bathroom door swung closed behind you, Yuki essentially told Choso to go take a hike for a couple of minutes. Choso, ever the soft-hearted boyfriend, made no effort to come to Sukunaโs defence, shrugging in a way that told him he was on his own.ย
Fortunately, Sukuna wasnโt the type of guy who was going to be intimidated by anyone.ย
โAlright let's cut to the chase. That shit with Kashimo, howโd you do it?โ She was leaning forward across the table, brown eyes sharp with displeasure.ย
His lips quirked up ever so slightly, staring her down. โWhat shit with Kashimo? I knew the guy for five minutes.โย
โDonโt give me that. He was nice, harmless - all that shit that Satoru said doesnโt fit together right. She might be willing to swallow whatever bullshit you feed her, but Iโm not that stupid.โย
โNot very nice of you to suggest that my girlfriend is stupid.โย
โI didnโt-โ Yuki took a deep breath. โStop evading the fucking question.โย
โI genuinely donโt know what you expect me to say. Satoru said the guy had a whole Myspace profile of weird posts, plus once he was called out he started berating her because of it. How do you figure I orchestrated that?โย
When laid out in that manner any accusation truly did seem ridiculous. Unless Yuki had any hard evidence, of which she certainly had none, there was no chance in hell that she was convincing you that anything to do with Kashimo was his fault.ย
โI donโt know, I just know that something isnโt right,โ she hissed. โI know that youโre a conniving bastard, and I know that youโre always at the scene of the crime when anything goes down. That shit strikes me as odd.โย
She wasnโt wrong. He would be impressed by her intuition if it wasnโt aimed at him. But again, she had no evidence, so it meant absolutely nothing. Not when he was making you so very happy.ย
โGod, you're miserable. Canโt bear to see your friend have a good thing huh?โ He leant forward, resting his face against his hand, completely relaxed. He wasnโt about to get all stressed out like Yuki was - heโd be the reasonable one, just on the off chance that you made a reappearance at the table.ย
โWhat? No-โย
โYouโre not really a girlโs girl are you, Yuki? What is it? Youโre jealous of how much attention she gets? Oh! Maybe you had a crush on me back in school and youโre angry that I chose her over you.โย
โIโd rather gouge my own eyes out than go anywhere near you,โ she spat, โI only care about making sure that sheโs okay, and honestly, I get the sense that somehow youโre going to fuck up her entire life. If you actually cared about her youโd do the honorable thing and leave her alone.โ
As if he was going to fuck up your life. Being with him was your one singular path to happiness, that should be clear enough by now. Tragedy had struck every time you tried being with someone else, he was the only person who wasnโt going to fuck up your life.ย
โI donโt think Iโll be doing that, but thanks for the suggestion,โ he said with a shrug.
โGreat, then I guess Iโll just make her see you for what you are and sheโll dump you.โย
Not likely. Sukuna would produce a literal pile of corpses before he ever let you go. No matter what, he was going to have you at his side for eternity. He grinned easily at Yuki, raising his eyebrows in challenge.
โYou know, youโre starting to creep me out a little. If I didnโt know better Iโd say youโre obsessed with my girlfriend. Is that the case, Yuki? Are you just dating Choso because you know sheโs not into you like that? Donโt tell me youโre jealous of me.โย
โShut up. Youโre not stupid, you know thatโs not it. I care about my friend and I think that youโre rotten to the core, and I donโt want to see you corrupting her. Sheโs had it hard, she doesnโt need you making it worse.โย
Sukuna tilted his head, once again feeling genuinely perplexed because he would do anything to make your life better, but clearly Yuki was incapable of seeing the vision. โIt's funny, she seems pretty happy with me - at least, the way that she sobs out my name each night sure makes it look that way.โย
โDisgusting.โย
Sukunaโs grin didnโt falter, overjoyed with just how antagonistic Yuki was towards him, emboldened by the fact that she didnโt have the skill to approach the topic with finesse, crashing around like a bull in a china shop. Sheโd never win you over that way, not with how good things had been going with Sukuna, her vitriol would fall on deaf ears.ย
Ultimately, he was just better at games like this. Heโd sunk his claws into you slowly, always there to whisper the right things in your ear when you needed to hear them, Yuki didnโt have the skill to undo his work.ย
โShe seems to like it. So, what are you gonna do Yuki? How do you plan to expose me? Just gonna keep ranting on about how awful I am? Even after she specifically asked us to try and play nice? Seems like a good way to lose a friend.โย
Yukiโs gaze darkened ever so slightly, her jaw ticking with frustration. She knew that he was right, the evidence was right there in front of her just by the virtue of you keeping Sukuna a secret from her for weeks. When it came down to it, you picked him with little hesitation, even knowing that sheโd disapprove.
Any attempt to drive him away from you would end in catastrophic failure on her part.ย
โShe will see you for what you are eventually - one way or another, I know it. Youโre like a fucking vulture, always waiting in the perfect position whenever tragedy strikes her, and one day sheโll realise.โ Yuki paused for a moment, before her face lit up with malice. โDoes it hurt you? To know that the only time sheโs interested in you is when sheโs broken?โย
That felt like a slap in the face, but Sukuna recuperated quickly because he wasnโt about to let Yuki know that sheโd found a sore spot.ย
Besides, that wasnโt the truth of the matter - the reality was that you were a naturally naive person, someone who needed somebody else to make the hard decisions for you. Neither Ryu nor Kashimo were right for you, and you knew it. You just werenโt strong enough to pull the trigger yourself and thatโs what Sukuna was there for - to help you make the right choices.ย
Right now you were far from broken, you were the happiest heโd ever seen you. And you loved him all the same.ย
โDoes it hurt you to know that nothing you say to or about me matters?โ He fired back. โSheโs mine now, so you can give up on the protective friend act. Worry about your own relationship - Choso might get bored if you spend all your energy obsessing over your best friendโs boyfriend.โย
โIโm not-โย
โIs everything okay over here?โ His heart picked up at the sound of your lovely voice, silencing whatever response Yuki was about to throw his way. You looked concerned as you slid into the booth, clearly aware of the tension that had returned in your absence.ย
โAll good.โ He hummed, slinging an arm over your shoulder and pulling you close to his side. โYuki was just giving me the best friend talk, yโknow?โย
โYeah.โ She agreed airily, taking a long sip of her coffee as if to avoid further elaboration.ย
Sukuna gazed down at you, taking in your radiant appearance. The air felt lighter now that you were back at his side, unmarred by Yukiโs negative attitude. You offered him a soft smile, and he found his breath stolen from him at the realisation that your turtleneck jumper had slipped down a little, revealing the purple markings heโd left on your neck the night before.ย
He admired you for a moment longer, eager to reach out and leave more marks of his affection on your soft skin, but Yukiโs pointed cough reminded him that you werenโt alone, and she was fully aware of what he was looking at.ย
โYour- um- your neck.โ Yuki said quietly, undisguised disgust in her eyes at the sight.
โOh, thanks,โ you mumbled, pulling the collar up, a soft blush lining your cheeks.ย
โSure.โ Yuki sighed heavily, defeat lining her expression before she pushed it away, giving you her best smile. โI need to head out. Youโre coming to Shokoโs place on Sunday evening right?โย
โOf course! Iโll see you then.โย
You seemed cautiously optimistic in the face of Yukiโs less combative attitude, as if you were choosing to believe that she could grow to like Sukuna.
Sukuna had less faith.
โYeah.โ She stood up, her gaze flicking down to Sukuna, any warmth in her expression fleeing the moment that her attention turned to him. โSukuna. This has been a pleasure. Let's do this again soon.โย
Sukuna raised a hand in farewell, his laid-back demeanour fooling you with ease. He wouldnโt be dragged into some catty battle in which he took shots at Yuki right under your nose - that was the way that he could lose. And right now he was winning where their battle of wills was concerned.ย
She looked like a bitch and he looked like the perfect boyfriend.ย
And everything was fine as long as it stayed that way.ย
โ
A few days later, Sukuna had forgotten all about that awkward brunch with Yuki, because he was caught up with a larger, more concerning issue in the form of your family dinner.ย
Heโd always known that he was going to snoop in some capacity - parking up not far from your house, wearing a cap and sunglasses, and waiting for an unfamiliar car to show up in the driveway. The Higurumas appeared at around 7.30, stepping out of a fucking Mercedes, which was just the first of many tells that the family was loaded.ย
Both men - father and son, were dressed in suits that likely cost them more than his yearly rent, and the woman, Mrs Higuruma, he supposed, was wearing her sunday best which no doubt had an equally extravagant price tag.ย
Sukuna was only really interested in one of them, his focus instantly going to who he assumed must be Hiromi. The man was undoubtedly attractive, with a strong nose and tired eyes, and while Sukuna knew that the guy didnโt hold a candle to him in the looks department, he felt a tiny flicker of uncertainty regarding what you might see in the man.ย
After all, Hiromi was attractive and wealthy, while Sukuna was just attractive.ย
Luckily, lawyer-types tended to be about as interesting as mud, and if there was anything that Sukuna wasnโt, it was boring. That had him convincing himself that there was nothing to worry about, but the furrow in his brow didnโt falter as the group disappeared into your house, out of his line of sight.ย
He needed to get closer - there was no way he could deal with the tension of not knowing what was going on inside. What if your parents proposed some ridiculous arranged marriage or something? What if you were giggling at the guyโs jokes? He couldnโt just sit there and think about all the worst case scenarios, he needed to know.
Sukuna wished that heโd had the chance to set up bugs in your house. Cameras wouldโve been even better, although potentially too obvious, but having nothing at all was a nightmare for the current situation he was in.ย
His lack of preparation meant that he eventually found himself crouched in the bushes outside your dining room window, trying to follow the conversation drifting out from inside. He was fortunate that the window was cracked open a touch, because otherwise heโd be able to hear absolutely nothing.ย
The sun was just starting to set as you all sat down for dinner, and Sukuna was grateful for the fading light making it much harder for your neighbours or any passersby to notice him. The last thing he needed was to get caught - what would you think of him then?
For a while, he couldnโt hear your voice at all, spending a few minutes getting to grips with each of the different tones flowing into his ears. Your father was easy to identify, and by extension, so were the two Higuruma men. Having never heard your mother speak, it was hard to differentiate between her and Hiromiโs mother, but he decided it didnโt matter.ย
You didnโt make an appearance until the table was laid and your mother was calling up to your bedroom, demanding your presence at the table. The soft sound of your greeting sounded like music to his ears, but he didnโt appreciate the accompanied rustling that suggested you were offering out embraces.ย
He hoped you werenโt hugging Hiromi, even if it was just an innocent hello after years of not seeing each other. You shouldnโt be touching anyone who wasnโt him, he shouldnโt have to spell that out to you, it should be obvious.ย
But beyond the initial greetings he heard nothing that raised alarm. In fact, you were shockingly quiet throughout most of the dinner, sitting there in silence while you let your parents do most of the talking. It seemed like you were there out of obligation more than anything else, and as far as Sukuna could tell, you and Hiromi hardly spoke a word to each other.ย
Before heโd realised it, two hours had passed by and he had nothing to show for his time hidden in that bush outside your window. Heโd learnt a whole lot about Mr Higurumaโs law firm, but absolutely nothing pertaining to you.ย
On one hand, he was relieved that there was nothing openly untoward going on. All of the stress that heโd felt about you hiding things was completely unnecessary - it really was nothing more than a family dinner. But on the other hand, he was more than a little bit pissed that he was wasting an evening doing this shit when it couldโve been spent with you.ย
He was your boyfriend, your soulmate, he had every right to be up there in that dining room sitting at your side. He was your family really, wasnโt he? Sure, you werenโt married yet, but you would be one day, he was certain of that.ย
And yet, for some reason he was stuck creeping around, his knees in total agony from the exertion of being frozen in one position for hours.ย
It fucking sucked. He should go home and lick his wounds.
But for some reason, he still couldnโt persuade himself to give it up. There was still an inkling in the back of his mind that there was something wrong. It wasnโt because he didnโt trust you, no youโd never done anything wrong in your whole life, but you were easily swayed by bad influences, and there was something about Hiromi that concerned him.ย
So he remained concealed outside your house, listening for something, ears tuned as you switched from dinner into a game of cards. He still refused to move even as Hiromi excused himself to take a call and your parents called it a night, showing the Higurumaโs up to the guest room and leaving you all alone at the table.ย
Hearing the gentle sound of plates being stacked, he risked a peek over the edge of the window, watching as you cleared up the table, taking on that role as the perfect daughter. He didnโt like the idea of you having to get your hands dirty in any capacity - if he was there heโd do it for you, but there you were taking on the labour when everyone else had already left.ย
If Hiromi was really a gentleman he wouldโve taken on the responsibility. What a jerk.ย
As you left the dining room with the plates in hand, Sukuna followed your movements, creeping around to the kitchen and settling down next to the patio doors leading inside. His heart was thumping in his ribcage as he observed you through the glass. You looked so pretty, leaning over the basin as you scrubbed a plate clean, humming in the way that you always would.
He was half considering tapping on the door to get your attention. He missed you and was eager to have your eyes on him - maybe youโd let him in and the two of you could make out for a bit with the added thrill of your parents potentially finding out.ย
That idea was immensely attractive to him.ย
But he decided it was best not to. He didnโt want you taking things the wrong way and realising that heโd been snooping around.ย
Ultimately, he ended up being glad that heโd trusted his gut, because less than a minute later Hiromi swept into the room, looking more exhausted than he had when Sukuna had seen him step out of the car earlier that evening.ย
โEverything okay?โ You asked, offering the man a smile that made Sukuna feel unsteady. โEveryone else has gone to bed.โ
โMostly.โ He let out a heavy sigh. โIโve got this client who I couldnโt help, they ended up putting him away for life on murder charges. I just got a call telling me that heโd managed to escape holding, so thatโs not ideal.โย
You blinked up at him, your wide eyes sparkling with worry. โOh my god, you donโt think heโd come looking for you, do you?โย
โI donโt know,โ Hiromi said, running a hand through his hair. โI hope not? I hope I can at least talk him down if he does try to find me. I really didnโt feel like he was a bad guy, I think he was framed, but you shouldโve seen the way he looked at me when they sentenced him.โย
โShit. It's gotta be stressful.โ You switched off the water, paying him full attention.
โItโs what Iโve chosen to do, so I wonโt complain.โ He pulled out one of the stools at the breakfast bar, resting his elbows on the counter as he peered over at you. โIโฆheard about that business with your boyfriend in high school. Iโm sorry, that mustโve been awful.โย
You waved your hand, taking a deep breath. โIt was a long time ago now, I found ways to cope.โ He hummed, and Sukuna found himself fidgeting, wondering just what Hiromiโs plan was. It seemed like he was trying to appeal to you - have a nice heart to heart and get you to open up.ย
Like you owed him anything.ย
โGood. Thereโs a lot of sick people out there. Hopefully whoever did it got pinned for some other crime and is rotting in a cell right now. Usually people like that canโt stop themselves from committing atrocities over and over again.โย
Your face twitched, as if you were trying to smile but couldnโt quite find the strength to do it. You looked deeply uncomfortable and Sukuna wasnโt surprised - did Hiromi really think that telling you the killer would strike again was a good way of comforting someone? It likely just struck unnecessary fear into your mind.ย
โI doubt they caught them,โ you said, and Hiromi tilted his head in question. โIts just a feeling, but I bet theyโre still just living their lives, pretending theyโre human like us.โ
โPerhaps. But I like to think that the truth always comes out one way or another.โย
If that was Hiromiโs attempt at being comforting, it wasnโt particularly effective.ย
โSo, how have things been?โ You asked, very clearly changing the subject. โMissing murder suspect aside, of course.โย
Hiromi let out a low laugh. โIโve been good. Itโs nice living in the city but I miss being here all the time, it was nice when we used to hang out.โ Sukuna frowned, not liking where this was going. โWe used to be inseparable back in the day and now Iโm looking at someone I barely recognise - it's strange what the years can do.โย
Giggling, you nodded in agreement. โYouโre telling me! Iโm still picturing the kid that was always covered in mud, but here you are all grown up and wearing designer suits. I never couldโve seen that coming! I think it suits you though, the lawyer thing, you always liked standing up for people.โย
Sukuna felt sick. He was peering round the door, certain that the darkness was concealing him well enough. You looked far too happy, laughing with an ease that should be reserved only for him.ย
It wasnโt right.ย
โYeah I like it. How about you? Enjoying working for your dad?โ Again, you gave him that half smile, the one that betrayed your true feelings whenever you tried to lie.ย
โI guess?โ You sighed. โIt isnโt where I imagined Iโd be but what can you do? The job market is impossible these days.โ Sukunaโs nails were digging hard into his palms because he had no idea that you were eager to find a better job. Ideally, once you married him, you wouldnโt work at all. You could live happily in his apartment and heโd take care of you.ย
It was pointless for you to aspire to some silly little job when he could keep you happy instead.ย
โMaybe I could find you something at the firm if you were interested? Iโm not sure how much you care about law, but I could see about an admin role? At least it would get your name out there and give you the chance to move out of town? I think Iโd be tearing my hair out if I had to live with my parents.โย
โUhh, I donโt know. I just moved back here, it's kinda complicatedโฆโ You trailed off.ย
โWhat about it is complicated?โย
โItโs just, Iโve been dating someone and I feel like it would ruin things if I moved away again. I doubt he wants to move.โ Sukuna felt relief flood him. You were such a good girl, always thinking about him, he really wasnโt sure what heโd been so worried about. You really were his sweet, loyal little angel.
โOh really? I couldโve sworn your mom said you were single earlier.โย
โI havenโt exactly told them yet. We havenโt been dating all that long.โย
Hiromi hummed, tapping his fingers on the marble counter, as if thinking carefully about what he wanted to say next. โI donโt mean this in an unpleasant way, but if you havenโt told your parents yet is it really all that serious? Isnโt it better to grab a job opportunity rather than bet everything on a guy youโve only been seeing for a few weeks? I feel like you shouldnโt be making life decisions based on a fling.โย
Sukuna wanted to crash through the patio doors and strangle Hiromi. It wouldnโt be difficult since he was a fairly wiry man, clearly not the type who made it down to the gym often. Sukuna doubted that there was a single callus on the lawyerโs fingers, he certainly hadnโt seen a day of genuine labour in his life.ย
Killing him would be easy.
โI hear you, but thereโs more to it than that.โ Your lovely voice was enough to keep Sukuna frozen, barely clinging to his self control as he hung on every word that fell from your soft lips. โIโve liked him for a long time but there were always things getting in the way. Now it feels like the circumstances are finally right and I know Iโd regret turning away from that.โย
It was clear that Hiromi wasnโt convinced. โI mean, if it is something real, surely heโd understand you wanting to find a better career than being the secretary at a construction company, right?โย
โYeah, maybe.โย
โLook, you donโt have to commit to anything, but Iโll ask around the firm and talk with some partners we have. If I find anything thatโll suit you, Iโll let you know. Just give it some thought - you were always smarter than me so Iโd hate to see you getting stuck here just for some guy.โย
โThanks.โย
Sukuna couldnโt tell if your response was genuine or born from politeness alone. Either way, he didnโt like the way that youโd essentially accepted the offer - he was far more important than any stuffy corporate job, you should know that.ย
โJust speaking from experience. I gave up on a few opportunities when I was dating my ex, and I really regret not taking them now. I donโt want the same to happen to you.โย
โYeah, I was sorry to hear about that,โ you said, leaning on the counter across from him. โMy mom mentioned things got pretty unpleasant.โย
โThatโs one way of putting it.โ Hiromi snorted.ย
Sukuna hated the way that he was leaning closer to you. It looked casual enough, but the gentle expression on Hiromiโs face wasnโt unlike the one heโd sport when looking at you. He knew enough about love and obsession to be anxious about this manโs intentions.
โYโknow, I think my healthiest relationship was our fake marriage from when we were kids,โ he continued.
You were giggling again. โUnfortunately it only lasted as long as it took me to eat the candy ring off my finger. Oh, and then Yuki ordered us to get divorced so she could marry you instead. Healthy stuff.โย
As the two of you launched into reminiscing, Sukuna slid down the wall, sitting on the ground just to the side of the patio door. His expression was furious. To some extent, he knew that he was being ridiculous - all you were doing was discussing some stupid little family game youโd played as kids.ย
But there was something about Hiromi here and now that was setting him on edge. The man wanted you to move to the city, wanted you to disregard your boyfriend - and to then suggest that his only healthy relationship was with you even if it was pretend, made it clear exactly where Hiromi's intentions lay.ย
He was trying to flirt with you.ย
It was clear as day.ย
And Sukunaโs blood was positively boiling.ย
โ
It was late at night when Sukuna finally made his move, certain that everyone in your house had finally fallen asleep. This wasnโt his first time breaking in, and he was almost certain that it wouldnโt be the last.ย
This was his first time entering when people were actually in the house though, for all of his previous tresspasses had been for snooping purposes when your family were off somewhere else. Regardless, his time inside meant that he was well acquainted with various entry routes and the places where the floor might squeak.ย
He was sure it would be fine.ย
Easily scaling the drainpipe, he found himself on a roomy ledge connecting two windows above. The one on the left led into your room, which was dark save for the gentle glow of fairy lights that you liked to leave on while you slept. Sukuna found it endearing that even when youโd stay at his house youโd insist that some sort of light stay on, claiming that you couldnโt sleep if it was pitch black.ย
Youโd said that the sudden fear of the dark had started shortly after Ryuโs death, which was strange to him, because it had been a decidedly light evening the night that heโd killed your boyfriend.ย
The window on the right led to the smaller of two guest rooms, where Sukuna was certain that Hiromi was staying. It usually served as your fatherโs home office, but it had a pull out sofa bed situated in there for nights like this one. That window was the one that Sukuna edged his way towards, careful to keep his steps silent as he approached.ย
Sliding the window up silently, he slipped in with practiced ease, dropping down onto the soft carpet below. It took half a second for his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, but he swiftly located Hiromiโs figure, curled up on the makeshift bed in the corner of the room. Creeping over to that breathing mound beneath the blankets, Sukuna slowly withdrew a knife from his jacket.ย
Heโd have to be quick about it. Heโd need to thrust the blade into Hiromiโs neck and silence him in the same instant lest he be discovered. If you found him there that would be game over forever. Even if he somehow managed to escape life imprisonment, the only option for your relationship to continue would be for him to take some pages from Misery and keep you captive.ย
Because youโd sure as hell never trust him again.ย
Just before he could plunge the knife down, a cold fear washed over him. What if you suspected it was him even without catching him in the act? Sure, he could kill Hiromi and flee, but to kill the man in your house sent a somewhat personal message. Ryu, could be disregarded as a random murder, but a second tragedy of a man close to you? And in your own home this time? That was a pattern.ย
Even if no evidence tied him to it, he was certain that someone more cynical like Yuki would start making assumptions, start pouring poison into your ear.ย
No, he couldnโt do this. Not tonight. Not here. It was just too risky, your relationship wasnโt secure enough yet to survive a severe jolt.ย
Lowering the knife didnโt make him feel good, and there was a desperate, primal part of him that urged him to kill the man anyway, consequences be damned. He could murder Hiromi and then immediately steal you away before you could decide to turn your back on him. That was what it meant to belong to him.ย
But that would be a short term solution, and Sukuna had long since learned his lesson on that front.ย
Hiromi would perish. He deserved it just as much as Ryu did and certainly more than Kashimo did, but Sukuna would find another way to do it - one that didnโt fit into an easily identifiable pattern.ย
He had to be certain that it would never come back to him.ย
And that meant waiting.
Once heโd made his decision and lowered his knife, he knew that the smartest choice would be to go home and pretend that heโd never step foot in your house. Pretend that he hadnโt almost slaughtered your childhood friend while you slept soundly in the next room. But his blood was pumping and he was filled with more energy than usual.ย
If he couldnโt kill his romantic rival he still wanted to exert dominance over him in some manner.ย
It was that desire that had him back on the ledge outside, making his way over to your room, taking far less care to be silent as he clambered in through your window. Despite never having been invited into your room, he knew the place well, and made a beeline for where you were curled up amongst your cutesy silk sheets.ย
You were laying face down, your arms wrapped tightly around a plushie. Your collection of soft toys rivalled even Satoruโs, all of them surrounding you as if they were keeping watch while you slept. Sukuna paid little attention to their beady eyes, his gaze fixed on your gorgeous figure.ย
Pulling the sheets back, he wasnโt surprised that you didnโt even stir. You were far from a light sleeper, and heโd often had to shake you awake in the mornings when youโd fail to register your alarm blaring at your side. You were wearing a sweet little night gown, one that he hadnโt seen before, which was riding up your thighs. One of the thin straps had slipped down your shoulder, revealing the gentle curve of your breasts to him.ย
His heart was racing, cock hardening in his jeans. Even after six weeks of seeing you, of touching you, you still had an insane effect on him. He was certain that heโd never stop feeling this way, overcome with the obsession and desire that youโd always create within him.ย
Crawling on top of you, his hand was quick to fly to your mouth as he felt you stirring beneath him. He was grateful for his instincts, because you let out a quiet little yelp which was quickly muffled by his palm. For a second, you fought him, before his lips brushed softly against your ear. โStop, it's just me.โย
Immediately you froze, the tension in your body easing at the sound of his voice. It wasnโt the first time that heโd woken you up like this, all needy with his length pressed up against your thigh - it was something that youโd discussed, one of the many kinky things youโd tried over the past few weeks.ย
However, this was the first time heโd done it in your house.ย
A place heโd had to break into.ย
He could imagine that would be disorienting for you.ย
โWhat- what are you doing here?โ You whispered as he removed his hand. He wasnโt sure if you were angry or turned on or a bit of both.ย
โMy bed was cold without you,โ he mumbled, pressing wet kisses against your neck, one of his hands sliding beneath you to grope at the breast which had spilled free from the confines of your nightdress.ย
โThatโs not-โ a soft groan slipped from you as he pinched a nipple, your whole body shivering at the sensation. โThatโs not an explanation. How did you get in?โย
โYour window was open. Figured it would be romantic to climb up here, look after you with your parents in the next room.โ Your parents were technically down the hall, it was only Hiromi in the next room, but he wasnโt supposed to know that.ย
โSukuna.โ You groaned softly, making no effort to push him away as his other hand made its way up your thigh, pushing the nightdress higher and higher until cool air was brushing against your pussy. โThis is kind of fucked up.โย
โYeah. But you like that, donโt you? Probably spent plenty of nights in this bed wishing Iโd climb into your room and take you like this. I bet you thought all about what it would be like to try and stay quiet on my cock with your parents right there in the other room.โย
โShut up.โ He chuckled at your childish tone, the response telling him that he was right. Though, he couldโve figured that out already based on the way that you were grinding yourself against his hand, already desperately slick.ย
Heโd discovered in the past weeks just how depraved you were, and this just served as further proof. To be all needy after your boyfriend had broken in suggested that you were just as insane as he was.ย
You were just perfect for each other.ย
โWe shouldnโt be doing this.โ There was no conviction in your tone, none at all. This was all just part of the game and he knew it. The two of you had a safeword, it was satin, and you werenโt saying it. Instead you were wriggling your hips back against him, desperate for more friction.ย
โOh Iโm sure,โ he teased, leaning over you and capturing your lips in a messy kiss, one that you gladly returned. When he pulled away, your eyes were round with a sweet mix of anxiety and desire.ย
โBut what if someone actually hears? I donโt want my parents to see- uhh- this.โ Sukuna wasnโt sure if what you actually meant was that you didnโt want them to see him, but for now heโd let it go.ย
โIsnโt that part of the fun? Doing something scandalous with the threat of discovery right there?โ He felt the way you shivered, certain that his words had convinced you. As he spoke, he pushed a finger into you, a whine spilling from your lips. You were quick to smack your own hand across your mouth, face flooding red at the realistion that youโd be the one who would get you discovered at this rate.ย
Another finger sank into you, and you squirmed beneath him. โThe walls are so thin. My parents are a few rooms away so itโs fine, but Hiromi- a-ah- Hiromi is just on the other side of the wall-โย
It was as if you thought that would convince him that this was a bad idea - on the contrary, that was part of the reason that he was here on top of you right now. He loved the idea that the man would awaken to the sound of your headboard hitting the wall behind him, trying to fall asleep to the sound of your moaning from the next room.ย
That would show him not to flirt with you again.ย
โHiromi? Is that your childhood friend?โ He asked innocently, as if he hadnโt been watching your interactions with the man for hours now. You nodded and he regarded you with a smug smirk. โNo shame in him knowing who you belong to, huh?โย
The jealousy was dripping from his voice, but if you noticed you said nothing, too busy coming around his fingers, burying your face in the silk pillow as you groaned out his name. The feeling of your walls fluttering around him was just lovely, and as he pulled his fingers free of you, he brought them to your face and let you suck them clean.ย
Any protest of yours seemed to die with that first orgasm, your gaze heavy with lust, watching him while he shimmied off his jeans and boxers. Rubbing his hard cock up against your ass, he trailed precum along the exposed skin, taking note of the way that you twitched expectantly beneath him.ย
It was nice to know that you were always ready for him, always eager, even in the middle of the night. You were made for each other. Heโd always known it.ย
Slipping into you, he lowered himself down so that he was lying flat atop your body, in a perfect prone bone position. A light gasp ripped itself from your throat, fingers curling into the sheets beneath you at the sheer depth with which he was buried within you.ย
One of his hands snaked around your waist, while the other moved around your neck, his palm finding its place in front of your mouth, muffling your cries as he started to drill into you desperately, taking out all the frustration and adrenaline from that evening on you. All you could do was take it, and you were oh so good at that, sobbing his name into his hand and clamping down on him like a vice, squeezing his cock with each desperate thrust.
Being inside of you was his own personal slice of heaven, and even though heโd come into your room with the intent of laying claim to you with a romantic rival in the next room, he was quick to forget that was his real goal. He was too caught up in the lovely feeling of you, overwhelmed by your smell and the lovely sounds meant only for him.ย
Fuck Hiromi, youโd never want him. It was so clear that you only had eyes for Sukuna.ย
Regardless, Sukuna was certain that his original goal was still carried out. By the time the two of you reached your peak, the headboard was positively slamming against the wall behind it, and he was pretty sure that your muffled cries were still loud enough to rouse someone in the immediate vicinity.ย
Besides, the snores coming from next door had fallen woefully silent.ย
Good, he wanted that fucker to hear everything. Honestly he wanted Hiromi to see it. If he could have the guy tied up in a cuck chair, watching while Sukuna fucked your brains out, he absolutely would.ย
The only issue was that he wasnโt sure how youโd take that.ย
His name came out as a desperate whine as you came, burying your face into his arm once he finally removed his palm from your mouth. Keeping his hips pressed flush against your ass, a contented sigh escaped him. This was one of his favourite positions, it always made him feel so close to you, almost like he was buried beneath your actual skin.ย
He stayed there for a few moments, letting his cum seep slowly into you before pulling out. Heโd been crushing you for at least five minutes now, and even though he knew you enjoyed the feeling, he wanted to give you the chance to breathe.ย
You were staring up at him all flushed, your chest rising and falling swiftly. Now that the lust had faded, you looked mildly panicked, chancing a glance towards your bedroom door as if it might open at any moment. โI really hope no one heard that.โย
โMmm. Iโm sure it's fine, baby,โ he cooed, holding his arms out to you and pulling you into an embrace. There was no doubt in his mind that Hiromi had heard the whole thing, but it was pointless getting you all worked up about that.
This was between him and that fucking lawyer.ย
Besides, it's not like it would ever come back to bite you because in a few weeks Hiromi would be dead.ย
Sukuna just needed to figure out the logistics first.ย
The certainty in his tone seemed to soothe you, or perhaps you were just too tired to continue worrying, but either way you relaxed into his arms, letting him pull you close. It was just like every night that had come before, with you finding comfort in his arms no matter the circumstances.ย
He wouldnโt stay over that night - heโd wait until you fell asleep before sneaking out once more. The only evidence that his visit was anything more than a wet dream would be the mess he left between your thighs.ย
And, at least temporarily, the memory etched into Hiromiโs mind.ย
a/n: sukuna really fighting ghosts, hiromi doesn't even KNOW him
anyway next chapter we see reader getting mildly concerned about how clingy and jealous sukuna seems to be with her (she doesn't know the half of it ๐ญ)
hope you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for the support! comments and reblogs are appreciated as always! <3
you barely slept the night following sukunaโs confession.
ryomen sukuna was absolutely insatiable.ย
after your third round, you were finally dozing off into a dreamless sleep, except the man woke you up an hour later, sweaty chest pressed into your back as he groaned against your neck, already half-way inside you. and after that, he woke you up once more at 2am and didn't allow you a semblance of peace until you could see the rays of sun painting his room a low gold.ย
sunlight bled through the thin gap in sukunaโs blinds, pale and intrusive, catching on the low curve of his shoulder and the tattoos that trailed down his arm like inked secrets. a softness floated lazily in the air between you both, quiet and almost sacred.ย
you gasped for a second when you woke up, hair a tangled mess and heart beating a mile a minute. you turned to grab your phone to see it was half past eleven.ย
your 8am lecture was well past over and your next one was in two hours.ย
with a soft sigh, your eyes trailed over to the sleeping man beside you whoโs arm was still lazily thrown over your hips. with a soft breath, you laid back down, heart clenching as you watched his alarmingly peaceful state.ย
you turned on your side facing him, allowing you to study his tattooed features even closer.ย
you listened to his breathing, felt the weight of his arm heavy around you, felt the thoughts parading in your mind, overwhelming but so real.ย
sukuna drowsily groaned, turning to press your back against his chest, flush against him.ย
like pure instinct.ย
his chest rose steadily behind you, warm against your spine. one of his large hands splayed flat on your stomach like heโd fallen asleep afraid you might disappear once more. his thumb twitched every so often, brushing absentminded circles into your skin.ย
you bit your lip gently, afraid to move, afraid to even breathe too loud.ย
you were worried that if you did, the moment would shift and you were terrified of what that shift would mean.ย
because last night had changed something so fundamentally. you werenโt ready to face him yet, just a few more minutes so you wouldnโt absolutely freak out on him.ย
your wide eyes stared at the wall in front of you, breath shallow and careful as if any louder inhale would wake him.ย
you tried to replay it, then. the kiss, the confession, the way heโd said i love you like heโd been holding it behind his teeth for a decade.ย
and god, you had said it back.ย
your eyes flutter shut. you had said it back and you really had meant it.ย
so why did your chest feel so tight?ย
your fingers drifted down the mattress, grazing the sheets where your thighs had tangled with his last night. the faint ache between your legs only reminded you that it had all been real.ย
not some dream or blurred fantasy from years ago.ย
you shifted slightly and his grip instantly tightened.ย
a low hum left his throat before he pressed his face into the back of your neck, nose brushing your skin like he was scenting you, โnot thinkinโ of runninโ, are ya?โย
your stomach flipped.ย
โi didnโt even move.โ you stated lowly, gulping as he pressed deeper into you, chest so utterly warm against you. fuck, he was a furnace.ย
โcan feel ya thinkinโ.โ his voice was rough, thick with morning and something satisfied.ย
you swallowed.ย
how did he always know?ย
his hand slid higher then, pressing flat against your ribs as he pulled you impossibly closer, until you were practically fused into him, no semblance of space between you.ย
you could feel all of him, all warm and broad and solid.ย
โstop.โ he murmured into your hair after a minute of silence you hadnโt realized had passed.ย
โstop what?โย
โspiralinโ.โย
your jaw clenched slightly as his lips brushed over that sensitive spot just beneath your ear, slow and deliberate.ย
โbrat?โย
you hadn't realized you still havenโt said a word.ย
you turned in his hold a bit, enough to face him, ruby eyes meeting yours instantly.ย
he was awake now, present and all too steady.ย
sleep ruffled pink locks, unreadable expression and a faint smirk ghosting at the corner of his mouth. and his eyes, they were soft, softer than heโd ever admit.ย
you almost hated how okay he looked, as if nothing monumental had occurred. as if he hadnโt just altered the trajectory of your entire friendship.
โwhy do you look like that?โ you questioned lowly, before you could stop yourself.ย
his brow lifted, โlike what?โ
โnormal.โย
he snorted softly, brushing his thumb across the expanse of your cheek as his large hand gripped the side of your face gently.ย
โwhat do ya want, brat? a panic attack?โย
you hesitated for a moment. of course you didnโt want him panicked but you didnโt want him this calm either.ย
this certainty in him made your own uncertainty feel louder.
โthings are different nowโฆโ you whispered, hesitant eyes peering up at him, the words leaving you as a question rather than a statement.ย
โyeahโฆโ sukuna replied easily, almost breathily with a sigh. as if he was relieved.ย
and just like that, some of that doubt in you began to dissipate.ย
sukuna was relieved, tension released as if heโd been fighting a war and just came home.
your eyes searched his, โdoes this scare you?โย
sukuna was known to run, he always made his way back in his shell every time a conversation between you almost led to something you both couldnโt name.ย ย ย
so what changed?ย
he paused momentarily, contemplating and gathering his words.ย
โno,โ his thumb traced down your jaw to your plump bottom lip, โdoes it scare you?โย
you inhaled slowly. you had spent years knowing exactly where you stood with sukuna. you knew exactly what he was to you and that wasnโt whatever this was now.ย
he was your best friend, your constant. the only chaos you welcomed and understood.ย
this was undefined territory.ย
โa littleโฆโ you decided to voice truthfully because the man would see through you if you had chosen to lie instead.ย
his gaze softened further, in a way that felt private, almost making you look away.ย
โgood.โ he muttered, eyes flicking down to your little frown.ย
your brows furrowed, โgood?โ
โmeans its real.โ
your heart stuttered and as your lips parted, he leaned in, pressing a kiss onto the plush of you lips. this wasnโt like his feverish and open-mouthed kisses throughout the night. it wasnโt hungry or frantic, but warm and soft.ย
โlisten to me,โ his voice dropped lower, โi didnโt wake up regrettinโ a single thing.โย
you swallowed.ย
โand mโnot just gonna pretend none of it happened,โ his jaw flexed, โi told you i loved you and i meant every word of it.โ his fingers slid to the back of your neck, thumb resting just beneath your ear, โyou can panic for the both of us, brat. iโve been waitinโ half my life for yesterday."ย
despite yourself, your lips twitched, โbit dramatic, no?โย
sukuna smirked, โsโtrue.โย
silence settled then, sukuna pulling you into him once more and despite everything last night, so many things still felt unsaid between you.ย
as your head rested against the warmth of his chest, his hand stroking up and down the expanse of your back, you sighed gingerly, โwhat if this ruins everything, ryo?โย
that was the real fear and with your track record, very much plausible.ย
sukuna didnโt reply, making your head tilt up to gaze up at the man in question.ย
sukunaโs expression had shifted, not angry but stern, โdonโt be stupid.โย
your mouth parted in offense, going to scold the man when he spoke up once more.ย
โweโve been orbiting this shit since we were kids, nothinโ really changed, except we arenโt denying it anymore,โ he stated so sure and calm, โyou think we were just gonna stay friends forever? get married to other people and live separate lives?โย
your throat tightened at the mere thought.ย
โiโve wanted you for years,โ he stated like a fact, as if he was speaking about the weather or gravity, โyouโre the one who needed to catch up, baby.โย
before you could response, you were gently pushed onto your back, sukuna hovering above you, nose nudging yours before claiming your mouth gently, slow and unrushed and certain.ย
there was no desperation, no pent-up years spilling over. simply intention and want.ย
your body softened beneath him without question, without permission. your brain, still wired with doubt and what-ifs, went quiet.ย
his hand moved up to grip your jaw, tonguing at your bottom lip as you whimpered gently, โsee, baby? not that complicated.โย
you exhaled shakily as he kissed you once more.ย
maybe sukuna was right, the scary part wasnโt that you loved him but that you were finally allowing yourself to.ย
and for the first time since youโd woke up, your chest loosened.ย
โพ
the lecture hall felt louder than usual, not because it actually was but because you couldnโt focus for the life of you.ย
your eyes were hazy as you stared at the professor rambling about something you normally would have understood within minutes.ย
you hadnโt absorbed a single word, fingers resting idly against your lips absentmindedly.ย
you hadn't meant to but they kept drifting there.ย
sukuna had finally let you go around half an hour before your lecture started, and after what was supposed to be an innocent shower, you were both rendered late by the manโs insatiability.ย
sukuna had dropped you off in his truck before making his way to practice and you still couldnโt keep your mind from straying to him.ย
you thought of his lips, his hand at your hips, the steadiness in his voice.ย
iโve wanted you for years.ย
your lips twitched and stomach flipped.ย
โhey, howโd things with sukuna go last night?โ shoko questioned lowly, eyes still ahead as you felt your stomach drop, heart clenching at the memories of it all.
โum, it was fine.โ you stated simply, heart beating erratically as you wondered if she could see into your brain and know exactly how fine things went.ย
your brain had still barely processed everything that had taken place the past week, let alone yesterday. the thought of telling your friends only served to overwhelm you further.ย
โjust fine?โ shokoโs voice cut through your spiral, โyouโve been acting all weird, you keep smiling at nothing.โ
your head snapped towards the girl, scoffing gently, โi have not!โย
she leaned closer, squinting at you with all the scrutiny in the world, โwhat did you do?โย
you looked away quickly, pressing your lips together but it was too late. the warmth in your cheeks had already betrayed you.ย
utahime, seated on the right of you, turned to gaze at you, the curiosity finally taking a hold of her.ย
โdonโt tell meโฆโย
you swallowed gently, huffing as you looked down at the lecture slides.ย
shoko wasnโt that hard to fool, prone to distraction. but utahime was observant as hell.ย
โwhat?!โ shoko demanded in a hushed whisper before spotting utahimeโs small smile, โwhat am i missing?โ
โnothing!โ you whispered with another scoff as shoko huffed in response.ย
โhow good was it?โย
you gasped at utahimeโs words as shoko turned to glance between you both. you could physically see the gears turning in her head before that light bulb lit up as she gasped.ย
โNO WAY!โย
practically the entirety of the hall turned to you three, confusion and alarm written across their features, causing you to shrink into your seat with embarrassment.ย
the professor offered a mere warning glance before continuing her explanation.ย
โshoko!โ you hissed but the girl merely held back a squeal as she gripped your left arm like she was about to shake the confession out of you physically.ย
โwhat happened? tell me everything! did you kiss? did you fuck?โ flustered wouldnโt even begin to cover your state, cheeks tinted pink and mouth agape, โoh my god! you did! did you cry? did he cry-โย
โnobody cried!โ you whispered harshly, glancing around to make sure no one was listening in.ย
with a small breath, your eyes shut momentarily, throat tightening as you tried to formulate your words properly.ย
this was real. saying it out loud would make it even more real.ย
you donโt know if you can handle that right now.ย
โwe talked, okay?โย
shoko merely stared, utahime tilting her head knowingly.ย
โyouโฆtalked?โ hime questioned lowly as you sighed.
you hesitated, โand then we didnโt just talk.โย
shokoโs nails dug into your arm, โoh my god! i need details, what the fuck!โย
you rolled your eyes at shokoโs words, huffing gently but you couldnโt help the slight giddiness in your chest.ย
it was slightly alarming, but a welcomed change.ย
usually, when it came to sukuna, feelings of heartbreak, worry or annoyance rushed through you. but now, you felt like you were reeling. like you were coming out of a high youโd never experienced before. but you also felt steady, disgustingly so.ย
granted, there were still doubts within you, voices that questioned sukunaโs feelings, how it would affect your friendship, thoughts of things going south, the fact that this was uncharted territory-
โhow do you feel?โ utahimeโs voice cut through the long and winding thoughts as you breathed out, as if she had read your mind.ย
you exhaled slowly, โi donโt know, to be honest. happy? but alsoโฆโ
โterrified?โ hime finished as you nodded slowly.ย
โthings just feel different,โ the words left you quiet and smothered in uncertainty, โhe feels different.โย
โwell, of course he does!โ shoko chimed in with a scoff, โnormal sukuna doesnโt kiss and fuck you-โย
โitโs not just that!โ you cut in, shaking your head with a huff, โitโsโฆeverything, i donโt know. itโs like, i know heโs still the boy i grew up with, heโs still sukuna. butโฆnot?โย
something in you shifted at your words because they were as uncertain and unclear as you made it out to be.ย
because yes, he was still your ryo.ย
he still looked at you the same way, still teased you, still knew you like the back of his hand, his voice still steady like nothing could shake him.ย
but there was something softer underneath now.ย
or maybe it had always been there and you were just finally allowed to touch it.ย
โhe was fine this morning,โ you murmured, almost to yourself, โtoo fine. like heโd already settled into it all.โย
shoko leaned back thoughtfully, โthat man has been in love with you since you were teenagers, poor guyโs probably been salivating for this.โย
you rolled your eyes, despite your chest tightening almost painfully.ย
her words shouldnโt make you feel warmer, truly. but they did.ย
maybe it was the reassurance you were lacking.ย
sukuna did a great job at it this morning but a horrible job at it the past few years.ย
every time you thought you had him, he retreated. every time you tried to grasp onto something you believed you saw in him, heโd disappoint.ย
you truly couldnโt blame yourself for doubting it all.ย
โwhat if this changes everything?โ you whispered into the noise, almost below a whisper, not expecting a reply from either of them. you simply voiced your greatest fear.ย
โi hope to god it does.โ utahime stated simply before turning back to the professor once she began speaking about the exam.ย
your head turned to gaze at her, lips parting at her words and how they left her so nonchalantly.ย
i hope to god it does.
memories flashed then, faces of disappointment, possessiveness he didnโt earn, pain you didnโt deserve. a cycle that was so utterly you and sukuna, it almost made you sick.ย
a cycle that was you and sukuna.ย
why were you so afraid of change?ย
this well and truly couldnโt be worse than your previous dynamic, right?
sukuna always hovered just outside the line, always right at the edge. enough to give you hope then crush it in the same breath.ย
now, he was yours. somewhat?ย
and that scared you more than it should, because what if-
your phone buzzed against the table causing your breath to hitch.ย
you grabbed the device, looking down at your screen.ย
ryo: u not done yet?ย 2:27pm
your brows furrowed.ย
brat: almost. why?ย 2:28pm
you were barely left waiting five seconds before his reply came in.ย
ryo: waiting outside.ย 2:28pm
โof course the asshole has your schedule memorized, heโs whipped!โ shoko stated with a grin, practically breathing over your shoulder as you rolled your eyes.ย
โhe dropped me off, freak.โย
โstill. you know he does,โ shoko scoffed, โremember, hime? remember when we saw her class schedule as one of sukunaโs laptop wallpapers?โย
your heart was suddenly beating too fast, ignoring the girls conversing beside you.ย
is this what thisโฆthing between you entailed now? him waiting for you?ย
realistically, hadn't he already been waiting forever?
as the professor dismissed you all, you grabbed your tote slowly as both girls yapped into your ear about god knows what.ย
students began filtering out and god, who could mistake alpha phiโs vice president, star athlete, ryomen sukuna leaning against the wall. all 6โ5, salmon locks and tattoos.ย
his arms were crossed, broad and intimidating, everyone giving him space without meaning to. like his mere presence demanded it.ย
but his eyes, they found you instantly.ย
and fuck, did they soften. just a bit. just for you.ย
your heart was beating so violently, your knees almost buckled.ย
shoko squeezed your arm, she was practically holding you up at this point.ย
โgo,โ she whispered dramatically, โgo get your man.โ
you huffed at the cringiness of her words, but your chest did clench at the title.ย
your man. was he?ย
you stepped forward cautiously as the girls walked away, greeting sukuna lowly as he merely nodded in acknowledgement, eyes never leaving yours and figure not moving towards you.ย
ugh, he was sick!
you knew he was enjoying this, this masochist. he found it all amusing, your nerves, your uncertainty.ย
mirth danced in his gaze as you slowly made your way towards him, head tilting and tongue poking against his cheek as he fought back a chuckle, knowing youโd kill him for it.ย
โwhatโs so funny?โ you huffed as you stopped a foot away from him, arms gently crossed against your chest as sukuna finally straightened up, gazing down at you.ย
โnothinโ, baby.โย
your ribs almost caved in. baby?ย
you thought youโd cringe at the pet names, not used to sukuna calling you anything but brat or an almost derogatory angel. all names rooted in memories and nostalgia.ย
baby was what he said as he was groaning against you, when he was pummeling into you.
and apparently what heโs choosing to call you in public now.ย
baby, fuck, fuck...
your skin heated at the echo of him and in the haze of your thoughts, you didnโt notice the man taking one stride towards you, closing the distance before taking a hold of your neck gently and crashing his lips against yours. as if the distance killed him, as if the hour apart tortured him.ย
your brain short-circuited causing you to pull back instantly.ย
โwhat are you doing?!โ you whisper-yelled as you went to take a step back but he only tightened his grip on the side of your throat before moving the calloused hands to your jaw, squeezing gently as he tilted his head.ย
โkissinโ my girl.โย
you blinked. right. is that what this was now?ย
with a soft breath, your eyes glanced around to see people staring. your heart was racing.ย
this wasnโt ryo, your childhood friend.ย
this was ryo, yourโฆboyfriend? situationship?ย
you hadn't really established any of that yet-
โhey, brat,โ sukuna huffed, boredom lacing his tone along with unmistakable affection, knowingly cutting through your spiral, โproblem?โย
โyou canโt justโฆโ you gestured vaguely at the open air as his brows lifted in amusement.ย
โwhy not?โย ย
you opened your mouth but your brain couldnโt think of anything.ย
he smirked slowly, โwill yโlet me kiss you now?โย
your face burned, โ...okay.โย
sukunaโs smirk sharpened, leaning down to pull you up and against him, mouth firm against yours. his mouth moved slower this time, deliberate, as if he was proving a point.ย
not even to the people around you both, but to you.ย
to your mind that loved to plant seeds of doubt within you.ย
your chest did something dangerously soft, warmth encompassing you as you finally relaxed in his hold, hands moving up to tug at his hair, causing the man to groan against you.ย
maybe you could get used to this.
โพ
sukunaโs truck hummed against the road as he drove you both back to your place.ย
we find love by daniel caesar playing softly in the background, serving as a source of focus for you to stop overthinking.ย
it wasnโt awkward, no, it could never be with sukuna. It simply felt full.ย
full enough to have the silence, to allow it.ย
your fingers played with his hand that was gripping your thigh gently but firmly, thumb brushing here and there. his grip was warm and grounding.ย
one of his hands gripped the steering wheel, black shirt straining against his broad chest as he drove.ย
youโd been in his passenger seat a thousand times before, but never like this.ย
at every red light, heโd turn to you, simply gazing, almost absentmindedly. his hand squeezed possessively without meaning to be.ย ย
โdo you feel awkward?โ you muttered gently, yet the man barely even glanced at you, eyes ahead.ย
โno.โ he stated bluntly, โyou?โย ย
โnot really, no.โย
you werenโt even sure why you asked, you knew it wasnโt awkward.ย
fuck, this wasnโt you!ย
why were you so hyper-aware of everything?
the way his hands felt, the weight of his entire being at your side, the fact that the veins of his arm were really doing it for you. he was making you insane.ย
you could see your apartment building come into view, letting out a breath ofโฆrelief? maybe?ย
or even dread?ย
you didnโt wanna say goodbye, you knew that much.ย
if he left you alone, you were gonna talk yourself into a hole you didnโt know if you could get out of.ย
as he parked in front of the building, you swallowed gently.ย
this is the part where, before, youโd split ways. thrown some unnecessary comment over your shoulder and slammed the door shut just to piss him off.ย
pretend the pull between you wasn't utterly inevitable.
โum,โ you cleared your throat as you unbuckled your seatbelt, โiโll see-โย
โmโcominโ up.โ his gravelly and deep voice demanded.
your mouth parted as he began shutting the car down, clicking his seatbelt open, โyou are?โ
sukuna merely rolled his eyes, glancing up at you, โi leave and yโconvince yourself of all sorts of bullshit, then youโre spiraling, then i have to step in and remind you that mโcrazy about ya.โย
your lips parted in surprise. he could read you like a book.ย
sukuna smirked at your silence, leaning forward to peck at your cheek, then your lips slowly, โso how bout we skip over to the part where iโm inside ya again.โย
you blushed furiously, hand lifting to weakly slap at his arm.ย
fuck, you felt weak. no, you were rendered weak, and it was due to all the feelings you held for this man weighing you down in the best way possible.ย
โพ
you looked wrecked.ย
not in a bad way, not at all. but in the way that makes something dark and satisfied coil low in sukunaโs stomach.ย
flushed cheeks, swollen lips, hair still slightly damp from the shower youโd taken, even though itโd taken him all of five seconds to drag you against the tile and ruin whatever innocent idea that had been.ย
youโre half-asleep when he slips out from under you, taking more effort than he thought.ย
your leg was still hooked around his thigh like you didnโt trust him to stay, cheek pressing to his chest, breath warm against his skin.ย
sukuna brushes your hair back first, careful and slow.ย
you grumble and he almost climbs back into bed instantly.ย
instead, he leaned down and pressed a slow kiss to your temple, โhungry, baby?โย
you simply had to be. youโd arrived at your place at 3pm and it was now four hours later where heโd spent the majority of the time absolutely ruining you.ย
you blinked up at him, wide eyes all soft and unfocused, โstarving.โย
sukuna smirked faintly, almost in pride. he did that to you.ย
youโd barely made it through the door before heโd cornered you against it, all hands and heat and that quiet, intense way he touches you now.ย
he pulled on his sweats and makes his way through your apartment that he had memorized like his own home, maneuvering into the kitchen.ย
he was still warm, still felt you on his skin, he even fucking smelt like you at this point.ย
it was insane how quickly his body and soul had adapted to this, to being tangled up in you, to knowing he doesnโt have to pretend anymore.ย
sukuna is well aware of your uncertainty, your doubts and hesitation. and he wasnโt sure why he didnโt feel that way at all. he didnโt want to address just how content he felt, just how needing and yearning for you had so easily shifted to doing anything to keep you.ย
he heard shuffling then, bare feet padding down the hallway. you appeared at the doorway clad in nothing but his cotton shirt.ย
it hits him in the chest harder than anything from practice ever has.ย
you lean against the frame, hair mussed and doe eyes droopy with exhaustion.ย
โwhatโre you making?โ you question softly as you slowly cross the room over to him as he cracked a few eggs into the pan, โeggs. surprising.โย
sukuna scoffed at your words, fighting back the smirk that painted his lips.ย
sukuna couldnโt cook if his life depended on it, culinary skills narrowing down to cereal and eggs.ย
โungrateful brat.โ he murmured as his big hands gripped your waist to pull you up and onto the counter, all big and warm and possessive, โyโsore?โย
you hum as he began stirring the eggs, โa little.โย
his jaw flexes. he likes that you still feel the ghost of him. and he hates that he hurt you as well.ย
sukuna adjusted the heating to a lower setting and slotted himself between your thighs.ย
you tilted your head, fingers tracing the waistband of his sweats as his large hands placed themselves over the heated skin of your thighs.ย
โyouโre different.โย
sukuna tilted his head, โhow.โย
โi dunno. youโre all soft.โย
he scoffed immediately, โalways been soft for you, woman.โย
your heart clenched instantly, โmaybe i like that youโre different.โย
sukuna paused, jaw clenching as he processed your words, โi do too.โย
something small shifts at the corner of his mouth now, tilting up, almost imperceptible and all too soft. but you caught it, of course you did.ย
a breath left you as the man moved closer between your legs, as if drawn by pure instinct, large hands gliding up the soft skin of your thighs, warm and still tense from your earlier actions.
his thumbs brushed slow lines across warm skin.ย
โyouโre not thinkinโ of runninโ, are ya?โย
his voice was low, almost teasing, but there was a semblance of truth in his words. of true worry and fear, voicing his innermost thoughts that even you didnโt have access to.ย
this was the second time heโd questioned your mindset, had subtly accused you of thinking of leaving and you didnโt blame him even a little bit.ย
where you were hesitant, he was so completely sure. he fell into this rhythm faster than you had even begun to comprehend it, as if heโd been waiting forever and more. and he was.
you shrugged lightly, โmmm, i dunno. could get used to this.โย
sukuna scoffed but you could visibly see his shoulders drop the slightest bit, tongue against his cheek as he leaned forward to nose at your chin, then your jaw and your neck. like some sort of freakishly large dog.ย
โmmm,โ he hummed against the still heated skin of your neck before you felt his tongue press against the skin and draw up, making you sigh gently, โcould ya?โย
you simply hummed as the manโs sharp canines nipped at the delicate skin making you gasp out a small kuna.ย
โyouโre a dream, babyโฆโ he whispered against the skin before nipping at your jaw, the area just below your ear making you giggle softly, pleasure along with a tickle shooting up your spine.ย
โkuna, stopโฆโ you murmured, cheeks heated and chest heaving before heโd even really done anything. the man continued his ministrations despite your soft attempt to push him away.ย
sukuna leaned up to lick your cheek then, causing a gasp to stumble out, โew, you freak-โ his tongue licked at your lips then, simply causing another gasp to leave you, now both flustered and shocked, โsukuna, you sicko!โย
he chuckled against you, ruby eyes glancing at your pouty and flustered expression.ย
sukuna leaned down to kiss at the pout of your lips, heart clenching at the way you easily fell into him, smaller hands trailing up to press against his abs, mouth chasing his as he pulled back to glance down at you again, โstop overthinkinโ everything, brat.โย
you sighed gently, eyes fluttering shut as his forehead pressed against yours, โmโtrying.โย
โtry harder,โ he stated lowly before pulling back to focus on the now burnt eggs, โcuz mโnot doinโ this back and forth again, baby. youโre mine.โย
sukuna didnโt offer you a glance as he stated his words, trying to salvage your burnt food.ย
your head tilted as you gazed at him, who youโd thought youโd known, in a dynamic you thought youโd be stuck with forever. a loop of pain and longing and yearning carved so deep into your bones, even as he stood there now, heart open and chest bare for you, you couldnโt believe it.ย
your mind still conjured up ugly images of how this would all crash and burn, of how heโd leave, of how you two were consistently two shadows that danced on a parallel plane, inching towards one another without ever meeting in the way you wanted.ย
ryomen sukuna was soft for you now, maybe heโd always been. he was acting different and you didnโt know how to hold it, how to unlearn everything you knew about him.ย
but you did know you needed to, because fuck, if he wasnโt all youโd wanted since you were a mere teenager.ย
โพ
the bar was loud in a way that crawled under your skin, not unbearable but a bit too much during this fragile state of mind you were in.ย
satoru was all too loud, already six drinks in and drunkenly ranting about how to make โemotionally unavailable women fall for your personality and not just your dick.โย
his white hair caught the dim amber lighting as he animatedly spoke with a melancholic tone in his voice, suguru watching him knowingly.ย
you did not have the energy to entertain whatever was clearly bothering him.ย
shoko and utahime were by the bar, both having brought a date, some guys from their shared study group. you could tell utahime wasnโt really into the man speaking to her, but shoko seemed smitten, a blush coating her cheeks as her guy got her another drink.ย ย
uthaime seemed more into the cute bartender, you noticed. her eyes kept glancing at him and he shamelessly looked back, a smirk tugging on his dark features.ย
go utahime!
sukuna was beside you. and not in the way he usually was, all broody and protective, arms crossed against his chest as he glared at any man who spared you a glance, a fight prepared and ready on the tips of his fingers.ย
no, sukuna was different, surprising you again, like he seemed to consistently be doing the past few days.ย
sukuna had one thick arm lodged behind you, lazily across the back of the booth, fingers tangling in your hair, playfully tugging from time to time to have your doe eyed glare fixed on him.ย
his other hand trailed up and down your thigh, his own thigh pressed against your own, warm and grounding. there was barely any semblance of space between you, it was suffocating as much as it was exhilarating.ย
sukuna wanted to live in your skin, breathe the air you did and feel whatever you felt. he was convinced. because the carnal way he needed you proved to be almost cynical.ย
he almost felt bad for you. youโd given him a taste of what itโd be like to be yours, for you to be utterly his, truly and honestly, with the absence of guessing and games. and fuck, he was utterly obsessed.ย
he wanted inside you, always. he wanted to read your mind and have you talk his ear off till he could practically predict what youโd say next.ย
you were a fucking drug, the hardest and most addicting one.ย
you could feel every inch of him without looking and that was the problem.ย
this was all too new. this wasnโt you sniping at each other across booths or years of tension hovering unsaid. this wasnโt almost anymore. this was something solid and defined.ย
and that made the noise feel louder, room smaller-
โwoman,โ his voice was low near your ear, โstop zoninโ out.โย
you huffed gently, โnot zoning-ow! kuna!โย
the man had tugged at the root of your locks where his hand was tangled, โdonโt lie to me.โย
you huffed once more, headbutting his hand the best you could as sukuna smirked gently at your attempts, โmโjust tired, thatโs all. is that a crime?โย
sukuna sighed, โnot a crime. wanna drink? might help you wake up.โย
โyes, please.โย
sukuna smirked gently, โmy polite girl.โย
you tried to fight the flush in your cheeks, rolling your eyes as the man leaned down to peck your lips, uncharacteristically soft, before standing up and walked towards the bar.ย
your wide eyes followed him before choso spoke up from his place on the left of you, โnot used to seeinโ him like that.โย
you turned to him, โlike what?โย
โyโknow,โ he blew the smoke in his mouth, face momentarily covered slightly by the smoke despite you having read the no smoking sign outside, โall soft and shit. mโused to him just being pissed off around you. donโt get me wrong, itโs a nice change.โย
you could feel the heat in your cheeks as you smiled softly, โreally?โย
choso merely hummed, โheโd been in love with you since before we all even met you. itโs nice to see it come tโlife. makes all our lives easier.โย
you scoffed gently, heartbeat erratic at his words but muffling it down, โhow are all of you affected by this?โย
โoh, we are most certainly affected, princess!โ satoru slurred from his place across from you, apparently done with his rant about his feelings, โour vice presidentโs entire mood on a daily basis is dependent on how you two are doing! ugh, i hated when you argued, heโd be such a pain in the ass!โย
you giggled gently at the drunk manโs words, something soft and warm falling over you as you leaned back in your seat a bit.ย
with a soft sigh, your head leaned back, eyes shifting like pure instinct as they found sukuna leaning against the bar as he waited for your drinks.ย
ryomen sukuna, your boyfriend. of some sort.ย
sukunaโs head tilted then, almost like he sensed you and you wouldnโt be surprised if he did. his gaze caught your own, slow and low, sultry but grounding as he smirked softly.ย
his brows raised in a silent you okay?ย
you merely nodded once before the bartender got his attention once again. you let out a breath as you turned back towards choso.ย
โmโgonna get some air.โย
the dark-haired man merely nodded, eyes knowing but hazy as he watched you stand before making your way out of the barโs door.ย
and you hated the way your chest opened the moment the cold air bit against your skin, a sigh leaning your glossy lips as you walked further away.
you didnโt regret anything, you had to remind yourself, you truly didnโt.ย
this wasnโt what this was about. itโs not like you particularly loved the way you and sukuna used to be but at least you knew where you stood, right?ย
it was the unknown that caused this crippling unease in you, of course it did. wouldnโt anyone be afraid if something theyโve known all their lives up and changed into something they couldnโt quite recognize.ย
you leaned against the cold brick of the walls, head tilted back as your eyes fluttered shut.ย
โhard dayโs night?โย
your heart leaped at the familiar baritone voice, gruff and all too knowing, your eyes fluttering open before tilting to gaze towards sukuna.ย
โsomethinโ like that.โย
he nodded once, moving closer as his hands remained in his pockets, โwhatโre you thinkinโ about?โย
how could you even begin to answer that question?ย
โeverythingโฆnothing, i donโt know.โ you breathed out, chest quivering as you gulped gently, the manโs eyes low and assessing as they watched you. his jaw was tense beneath the tattooed skin, watchful.ย
sukuna merely nodded, moving to lean against the wall beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed and you could feel the warmth of him.ย
โi know theyโre lookinโ at us different.โ he stated as your head turned towards him, doe eyes gazing up at the man who looked ahead.ย
โi donโt like feelingโฆโ you trailed off gently as sukuna huffed.ย
โexposed?โย
you nodded softly, โi justโฆi donโt know how this is gonnaโฆi donโt know how to be, yโknow, thisโฆfor you.โย
sukuna turned to you then finally, ruby stark dark against the navy sky behind him, โyouโve always been that for me. weโre just not orbiting anymore.โย
your chest tightened then as silence stretched between you both, because truly, you didnโt know what to say.ย
noise buzzed around you, people and objects and places all the same, blurring behind the shadows of doubt and fear.ย
โwhat are we?โ you finally asked.ย
there it was, that dreaded question that had been sitting between you since forever.ย
he turned to face you fully now, scarlet eyes steady and serious, โyou want a label?โย
โi want to know what iโm standing on.โย
that made something flash in his gaze, not anger but something resolute.ย
he took a step forward, broad chest brushing against you as you tilted your head up to gaze at him back, except this time, he touched you instantly.ย
his hand was warm against the expanse of your hip, firm and anchoring, โyouโre standinโ on me.โย
simple and all too certain, the man continued, โmโnot half-way in it with you, never was.โย
your voice came out soft, โso, youโre-โ
โmโyours, baby.โย
the words didnโt leave him as dramatically as you had presumed, they werenโt poetic like youโd predicted itโd sound from his tongue.ย
instead, the words were stated like a fact. like gravity.ย
your breath caught, โand you think that wonโt ruin us?โย
he let out a low exhale, hand moving to grasp you jaw, tilting your head to better face him, โfuck, we already ruined each other. i was jealous when we weren't together, possessive without permission and hurt without reasonโฆโ his thumb pressed gently into your jaw, โthis is just us doinโ it honestly.โย
you searched his face then, cold nipping at both your exposed skin, his somewhat tamed hair from earlier in the night having gone back to the unruly locks that brushed against his forehead.ย
you looked for doubt, hesitation, any escape route possible that would allow you to say you knew it if it all went wrong.ย
there were none.ย
โwhat if i mess it up, ryo? what if mโnot what you think?โย
he leaned down slightly so you could feel his warmth, โyouโre everythin', baby. and you probably will mess it up,โ your mouth parted before he continued, โso will i. but mโnot walkinโ away, fuck that shit. there's nobody else for me. might as well admit that now.โ
the wind shifted and something settled then.ย
you stared at him. he looked almost peaceful.ย
it set off something in you as your doe eyes turned glassy
โi hope you donโt scare easy, brat.โ sukuna murmured against you as you let out a tearful chuckle.ย
โyouโd be surprised.โ you whispered as he smirked against you before pulling back to look down at you once more.ย
โiโve already done the spiralinโ,โ he muttered, โalready did the years of wantinโ and not havinโ.โย
his hand moved up to your jaw, gentler now, โnow i get to keep you.โย
your heart stuttered, โkeep me?โย
sukuna breathed out steadily. moving closer until he was flush against you, cradling your face in both hands now, โmhmm. keep you.โ
you mulled over the words for a moment, contemplating the pure warmth that flooded over you, โokay.โย
sukunaโs lip quirked, โokay, baby? will ya give it a fuckinโ rest now and let me enjoy my girlfriend?โ
you laughed weakly, the sound breaking something open as you finally stepped into him.ย
not because he pulled you but because you wanted to.ย
your hands gripped his wrists that cradled your jaw as you leaned up on your tip-toes, lips crashing against his. the man hummed against you instantly, teeth nipping at the plush of your bottom lip making you whimper softly against him.ย
you attempted to bite him back, except he cornered you against the brick wall, one hand moving to the back of your head to make sure the wall wouldnโt hit you, tongue lashing against your lips and teeth, making a low moan leave you.ย
โmmm, ryoโฆโย
sukuna breathed out against your lips as you tried to catch your breath, โyeah, baby?"
โtake me home?โย
sukuna smirked gently against your lips, something gentle taking ahold of him then.ย
and fuck, how could he ever say no?ย ย
โพ
sukuna shouldnโt have turned around, no, he really shouldnโt have.ย
thatโs what his pride told him, thatโs what the carnal need in him to run and never look back told him.ย
heโd already left you a mess behind him, the weight of the world on your shoulders and tears trickling down your pretty face. why would he turn back? could he even turn back?ย
back to what, though?ย
the pain? his father's cruelty? the responsibility weighing on his shoulders since he was a kid?ย
why would he ever turn back, he scoffed at the mere thought.ย
heโd walked eight blocks already, towards the furthest bust station from his neighborhood. his jaw was tight, hands shoved into his jeans pockets, sweater hanging off his slightly lanky figure, convincing himself this was good.ย
then why did he feel like dying?ย
why would he ever turn back?ย
he mulled over it, entertained the thought for a mere moment and all he could think of was you.
you, you, you.ย
you, who had been the only reason he was still here.ย
you, whoโd set him straight more times than he could count, snappy and vibrant in the way his life never was.ย
you, who would forever soothe the permanent ache that sat between his ribs, crushing and never fleeting.ย
you and yuji would be fine. he trusted you to make sure yuji was okay.ย
and youโd be okay, more than okay.ย
the toxic poison he forever spewed in your wake was gone now, he was out of your hair.ย
you didnโt have to stay up worrying about him anymore. you didnโt have to consider him at every step, you didnโt have to force your parents to have him and yuji spend nights and christmases at yours, tears and snot painting your face as you sobbed and pleaded to your parents in the most performative way possible.ย
you could live now, you could be a teenager, a kid, in the way heโd never allowed you to be.ย
sukuna didnโt need to stay, no, he was doing you a solid.ย
fuck, fuck, fuck.ย
sukuna paused, the cold nipping at his damp cheeks where tears were leaking before he could even fathom his emotions.ย
โfuck!โ he barked, breathing out as he crouched over, fisting at the material of his jeans over his knees, eyes shutting as he tried to gather his thoughts.ย
he was going to turn back, fuck, of course he was.ย
how could he leave you?ย
with you, ryomen sukuna didnโt have to pretend to be anyone other than himself.ย
all broken, selfish and mean pieces of himself.ย
yes, he was selfish. he knew leaving would be best for you, even though you couldnโt see it now. but again, sukuna weighed it out over the last few blocks.ย
stay and endure the pain, all of it, the hits and punches he didnโt deserve, the kid he looked after when he was a kid himself.ย
or leave and never think about any of it again. leave and be free, no matter where heโd end up.ย
there was only one difference between his two options and that was you.ย
stay and have you.ย
or leave and lose you.ย
and fuck, heโd take the pain and have you there to soothe it always.ย
with that final thought, a sixteen year old sukuna kicked at a rock before turning back around, chest heaving with the need to see you again, to tell you everything-
the sirens cut through his thoughts and the quiet of the night.ย
it was sharp and close, too close.ย
sukuna didnโt think much at first until he realized the sound wasnโt fading, if anything, it was steadily getting louder.ย
he turned around to see the firetruck soaring through the darkness of the night, right past him towards where heโd been walking away from, towards it all.
and he couldnโt explain it, truly, the emotions that washed over him.ย
the sirens could be going anywhere, could be going to the other side of town, for all he knew.ย
but what could ever explain the sinking feeling in his gut?ย
the nagging bite of something that told him he should have never left?ย
the sudden urge to run back, towards you and you, towards you.ย
sukuna didnโt think, then, he didnโt have a second to rationalize the emotions in him.ย
red lights flashed against parked cars as it zoomed past him and he didnโt mull over his gut feeling before he began running.ย
his legs pumped as fast as they could as his chest heaved, he looked absolutely unhinged , he was sure.ย
but it would all be fine. all he had to do was go to the house, to see you again because he knew youโd go back for yuji first.ย
he was running fast, then faster.ย
he couldnโt explain it and by his sixth block as he neared his neighborhood, he began feeling nauseous. his sweater stuck to his damp skin, sweat beading at the nape of his neck, salmon hair sticking to his scalp, even with the cold.ย
he couldnโt stop running, no, he had to see you so you could soothe the ache in him, the fear he hoped was irrational.ย
something sick took ahold of him when he was a block away and spotted the red flashing lights right by the hell heโd grew up in.ย
โno, no, no.โ his legs carried him even faster.ย
sukuna rounded the corner and everything in him stopped.ย
his house was on fire, flames erupting like something cruel.ย
flames licke through the windows like something alive. smoke swallowed the roof, glass shattered somewhere inside.ย
and for a second, a split second, elation spread through him.ย
he imagined his father inside, rotting like he should, like he deserved.ย
but it was just a split second before reality brushed his thoughts and reminded him.ย
yuji.ย
it didnโt feel real then, he could never begin to even try to explain the emotions rushing through him. his entire being grew hazy then. he felt like he was out of his body, watching himself from above.ย
like he'd stepped into someone elseโs nightmare.ย
then his body caught up to him.
โYUJI!โย
his voice tore out of him, sprinting forward as his heart slammed against his ribs so violently, it felt like it might rupture.ย
firefighters were already there, shouting and dragging hoses, neighbors gathered across the street and on the porch of their houses.ย
sukuna didnโt know why his gaze turned to look at the side of his home, where yujiโs bedroom overlooked and when he went to run, his gaze caught on something glinting atop the grass.ย
and then he felt sick.ย
the chained charm bracelet, gold and familiar, filled with multiple mini little charms and he knew the story behind each one.ย
your bracelet. the one you never took off.ย
lying in the dirt by the back steps.ย
his brain shut down then. he didnโt reason and didnโt process.ย
it decided one thing instantly and it sent him into a frenzy,ย
you were inside.ย
take care of yuji, yeah?ย
heโd sent you there. you were inside and youโd tried to get out.ย
you didnโt make it.ย
sukuna lunged towards the door and hands grabbed at him instantly.ย
โHEY! KID-โย
sukuna thrashed violently, elbows shooting back into hard chests and lags kicking and willing him forward.ย
even at sixteen, lanky and tall, his mere need to see you pushed him forward with a strength he didnโt know he had.ย
โGET THE FUCK OFF ME-โ and then your name tore through his chest, scratching his throat and his chest as he lunged once more.ย
two firefighters pulled him back as he fought like something feral.ย
โSHEโS IN THERE-MY BROTHER IS IN THERE-โย
โkid, you cannot go inside!โ
sukuna swung out of pure instinct, shoulders ripping against their grip.
โMY-MY GIRLFRIEND-SHEโS-โ
his voice cracked and he didnโt have time to register what he called you.ย
sukuna just didnโt know what to refer to you as because friend was wrong.ย
even girlfriend was wrong. you were everything.ย
and you were in there.ย
โFUCK OFF, FUCK OFF ME-โย
the heat hit his face een from where he stood, smoke burned his lungs, hands clawing at the men restraining him. his chest felt hollow.ย
he could actively feel himself break, well and truly.ย
he wished he never left, he wished it was him in there.ย
if you and yuji were in there, he wanted to go right along with you.ย
and thatโs when the sobs ripped out of him, raw and all too real.ย
โplease, please-โ he broke slowly, sobbing as the fireman held him against his chest and just as he began stilling, it was like another surge of energy hit and he couldnโt stop.ย
sukuna began thrashing once more, scratching and tugging where the fireman pulled-
โryomen!โ a voice cut through everything, he barely heard it at first.ย
โryomen!โย
mrs.burke, the old woman that resided in the house right across from him, rushed forward in her nightgown, โi saw them!โย
sukunaโs head snapped toward her so violently, it made him dizzy as he finally stilled in the menโs hold.ย
โwho?โย
โyuji-he was cryingโ she stated breathlessly as she stopped just a foot away from him, blonde hair askew, โand your little friend, she was carrying him! they were running toward the main road!โย
the world went dead quiet in his ears.ย
โthey left?โ his voice was raw and hoarse and still untrusting.ย
โthey ran out the back maybe fifteen minutes before the fire got bad!โย
fifteen minutes.ย
fifteen minutes.ย
his brain latched onto it.
the thought made him lurch forward, hands on his knees as he dry heaved, nothing coming out.ย
he felt absolutely sick at the thought of you and yuji in there.ย
but then his knees nearly gave out, relief hitting so hard, it hurt.ย
you got out, you got his brother out.ย
but the relief didnโt last.ย
because if you werenโt here, you were somewhere else.ย
you still thought he left you, you were probably crying, overthinking-
the thought snapped something inside him.ย
sukuna shoved past the firefighters, โHEY! KID!โย
but sukuna was already running again.ย
even faster this time, faster than before, not towards the fire but towards you.ย
the streets blurred around him as his chest heaved with effort.ย
his lungs burned and sweat poured down his back, hands shaking and he didnt even realize he was crying until his vision blurred.ย
sukuna hadnโt cried in years, not when things went bad, not at his fatherโs cruelty, not when he was alone.ย
but the idea of walking into that house and not finding you? the thought of leaving you?ย
that has destroyed him in under thirty seconds.
sukuna ran harder, every step replaying images his brain wouldnโt stop feeding him.ย
you trapped, yuji screaming, your bracelet on the ground.
sukuna ran until his chest felt like it would split open.ย
until your house came into view, lights on and front door closed but he could see a familiar figure on the steps.ย
just as sukuna stoped short of your front steps, chest heaving and sweat rolling down his brow, your mom turned to him, mouth agape.ย
he could see the exhaustion on her face, no doubt as a result of whatever the fuck had happened when he left.ย
โoh, ryomen-โย
sukuna stepped forward, allowing his chest to cave as your mother gathered him in her arms, warm and comforting, her shampoo resembling your own.ย
your motherโs soothing words barely registered as sukuna heaved into the fabric of her sweater, mind hazy and far away until-
โryo?โย
his head tilted up and he couldnโt breathe.ย
your eyes were bloodshot and face blotchy with tears, lips bitten and swollen.ย
sukuna could see yuji stood behind you, blanket around his little shoulders and big brown eyes looking up at sukuna with both confusion and relief.ย
another pair of doe eyes looked down at him with something akin to relief, as well as pain.ย
you were alive.ย
and when he stood up, swallowing gently, eyes boring into yours and silently pleading.ย
pleading for you to understand, for your forgiveness.
your face broken then and that was all it took as he crossed the rest of the distance in three strides, dropping down in front of yuji first, hands moving as he touched his face, his shoulders, his hair.ย
โyou okay?โ he demanded roughly and yuji nodded once.ย
โweโre staying here! we donโt have to go back home, kuna!โย
sukuna merely nodded once, he didnโt have it in him to dwell on what would happen next.ย
sukunaโs gaze lifted slowly to you and you looked wrecked.ย
your hair was a mess, you were barefoot and your hair stuck to your damp cheeks.ย
your mouth parted to speak, say what, he didnโt know. he didnโt let you, grabbing you and pulling you into him with so much force, it nearly knocked the air from you.ย
sukuna buried his face into your shoulder like if he didn't physically hold you to him, you might disappear.ย
you felt it then, his body shaking.ย
his hands trembled where they gripped your back, โi thought-โย
his throat closed up before he could finish and youโd never felt him like that before.ย
sukuna was absolutely undone and you couldnโt blame him.ย
โryoโฆโ you breathed out into his neck and he held you even tighter as you swallowed gently, โyour dad-โ
โi know.โย
you didnโt want to dissect it yet, you didnโt think heโd want to ever.ย
โmโsorry i left.โย
it was a whisper against your hair as his hand travelled up to grip at your locks.ย
you shook your head against him, โthey say your dad covered the place with liquor, kuna. he was going to set the place on fire anyways. if you hadnโt left, i wouldnโt have gotten yuji out-โย
โstop-โย
โyou saved him, ryo-โ
โno, stop-โ
โi donโt care that you left, you came back-โย
a guttural sound left him then as you held him tighter.ย
โiโll never leave you again.โ
and he truly and absolutely meant it, with everything in him.ย
โพ
a sensation on your back pulled you out of your dreamless sleep.ย
half asleep when he nudged you harder, not aggressive but persistent.ย
โbrat. wake up.โย
you groaned into the pillow, pulling the plush blanket over your head, โshut up.โย
it was quiet for a second before you felt sukunaโs hands slide under the blanket and his warm palm pressed against your hip, โwanna go for a drive.โย
you didnโt move, silence stretching before you spoke, โare you stupid.โย
he huffs out a laugh, as if expecting your words, โc'mon, woman.โย
you peel the blanket down just enough to glare at him, doe eyes glistening with the remnants of sleep trying to lull you back in, โwhat time is it.โย
โone.โย
you groaned once more, eyes gazing up at the man droopily, his pink hair messy against the dim yellow glow of your bedside lamp. his eyes were lazy but awake, wide awake.ย
โwhy, ryo-โ you whined, eyes fluttering shut as the man huffed, pulling th blanket down and effortlessly pulling your body up with one hand, pressing you against him.ย
the warmth that encompassed you under the blanket disappeared causing you to whine, latching onto him, only in your panties after your excursions earlier in the night after the bar.ย
โkuna!โย
the man merely chuckled gently, moving around as you stayed latched onto him, eyes shut as he pulled on a pair of sweats before placing you on the foot of your bed.ย
and fuck, you looked like a dream.ย
sukuna looked down at you, something tight in his chest as his eyes studied you like something holy.ย
all mussed up locks from his hands and your deep sleep, lips swollen from his kisses and pouty as your doe eyes glared up at him with something softer than you intended. your lashes fluttered and your pretty body was bare aside from your underwear and he had to resist the urge to pull you right back into bed and keep you up for a completely different reason.ย
he was gentle as he pulled your sweats up your legs and his sweater over your body, pressing a kiss to your nose when your head reappeared when the sweater engulfed you.ย
sukuna leaned down to pull your fluffy socks up your cold feet, โletโs go, baby.โย
you huffed as sukuna leaned down, pulling you up and into him as your head fell into the crook of his neck.ย victory.
the truck engine hummed low against the quiet of the sleeping city.ย
you sat in the passenger seat with your knees tucked into your chest, the sleeve of sukunaโs sweater engulfing both your hands to your advantage, shielding you from the cold despite his truckโs heater on.ย
your cheek rested on his hand that was placed on your knee, eyes hazy and low as you watched the trees blur past you.
landslide played softly through the speakers, cold air blowing your hair through the cracked window.ย
his hand was heavy where it held you, grounding and real, thumb brushing idle circles on the soft fabric of your sweats.ย
you stared out into the dark road, watching streetlights pass like slow blinking stars.ย
you and sukuna hadnโt said a word since he delicately placed you into his truck with a there ya go, baby.
โyou always do this after something happens.โ you murmur, breath brushing against his hand as his heart leaped gently.ย
โwhat, brat?โ his gruff voice was gentler than usual, almost gentle and low as his finger twitched against your cheek like you'd awoken something in him.ย
โdrive.โย
sukuna doesnโt answer immediately, letting out a breath.ย
โyโknow what you do after somethinโ big?โ he replies instead as you hummed, โoverthink. gives me a headache.โย
you roll your eyes, โannoying.โย
โmm.โย
โyou dragged me out of bed at one in the morning.โย
โitโll do ya some good, trust me.โย
you turn your head to glare up at him, immediately spotting the little smirk on his face. he didnโt turn to look at you, though, eyes ahead.ย
obnoxious, infuriating and so utterly yours.ย
the deserted lot greets you like it always has, open and quiet. far from everything.ย
and the sky is clear tonight, stars wide and scattered like something painted careless and beautiful.ย
you already knew the drill, opening your car door and climbing out without being told.ย
sukuna circled the truck quietly, watching you with that same slow and unreadable gaze.ย
sukuna unclasped the latch that held the ledge of the bed up and as you moved to climb up, his hands grounded themselves on your hips, effortlessly moving you up and onto the already spread blankets.ย
he settles you onto the warmth as you climbed further in, watching as he followed you.ย
sukuna pulled himself up beside you with effortless strength, air sharp but cool against you.ย
sukuna laid down first, eyes low as he reached for you instantly and you didnโt hesitate.ย
you slid against him instinctively, back warm against his broad chest, his arm immediately wrapping around your middle as if trying to fuse you against him.ย
he gently adjusts you once, tucks you closer, chin setting over your shoulder. his breath was warm, ghosting against your neck as your head leaned back into the crook of his neck, wide eyes fixated on the blinking stars above.ย
for a minute, neither of you speak, crickets filling the silence as you both watched the sky above, something warm between you, real and true.ย
โi canโt ever count the stars here.โ you mumble as sukuna hummed behind you, voice rumbling against his chest, into your back.ย
โyouโd always lose track.โย
you smiled gently, with or without you playing softly from inside the car, making your chest ache but brows furrow, โsince when do you listen to u2?โย
โi donโt,โ he murmured instantly, โbut you do.โย
something settled in your chest as you moved your hand to the side, feeling for his phone beside him, taking a hold of it.ย
his phone screen stared back, the wallpaper a picture of you and yuji when you were younger one summer. but illuminating against the wallpaper was the playlist playing, the name being songs for her.ย
your heart leaped, knowing as you pressed on the playlist and began scrolling through. sukuna let you do as you pleased. the old him wouldโve done everything to hide that small semblance of vulnerability but he already laid everything out on the table, he didnโt have anything to hide now.ย
the songs ranged from frank ocean to fifty cent.ย
โ21 questions?!โ you gasped as you turned to him, โthatโs so romantic.โ
he rolled his eyes once, โall the songs on the goddamn playlist and thatโs the song that has you emotional?โย
you merely pouted gently, โwe love that song.โย
โyeah, we do.โย
he pulled you against him tighter as you sighed gently, head tilting to rest against his arm.ย
โi could always count more stars than you.โย
โcuz youโd distract me, brat.โย
โhow?โย
he doesnโt answer, merely huffing a quiet laugh against your hair.ย
you elbow him lightly, โhow, ryo?โย
โby you yappinโ.โย
you gasp, โi do not talk that much!โย
โyou narrate your own thoughts-โ
โthat is healthy!โย
โitโs weird, baby.โย
you wiggle in his hold, pretending to get up.ย
sukuna tightens his arm instantly, โdonโt.โย
you huffed, slumping against him, โyou said iโm weird.โย
โi said itโs weird.โย
โyeah, yeah.โย
your lips twitched despite it all, biting back a smile as sukuna pressed gentle kisses against the skin of your neck.ย
the silence that follows isnโt uncomfortable, itโs full in the best way possible.ย
your fingers lace over his forearms, warm skin under cold air.ย
โryo.โย
he hums.
โare we gonna be okay?โย
with no hesitation or deflection, he answers, โyeah.โย
and for whatever reason, maybe because it was him, the word soothed you.ย
โyou donโt think about it?โย
โthereโs nothinโ to think about. mโnot gamblinโ with you again. this is it, baby.โย
your throat thickens, โthatโs intense.โย
โyeah.โ
โyou say stuff like youโre proposing.โย
he huffs out a quiet laugh, โif i was proposin', youโd know.โย
you turn your head slightly to look up at him, moonlight catching the sharp planes of his face.ย
sukuna looked steady, so so steady.ย
โyouโre obsessed with me.โ you whispered softly.ย
he doesnโt deny it, โbeen.โย
โhmm, wonโt get tired of me?โย
โanyone else probably would be. not me-โ
you were already offended, gasping softly, โexcuse me!โ
โyouโre dramatic, you spiral and overthink-โ
โbecause of you!โย
he pressed a slow kiss to your cheek, then your temple, then your jaw then finally hovered above your pouty lips.ย
โyeah.โย
you go quiet as he pressed his lips against your own, firm and warm, thumb caressing back and forth on your ribs.ย
for all the bickering and brattiness, he hadnโt loosened his hold on you once. and beneath his gruffness, there was something so terrifyingly soft.ย
you wiggle again as he pulled away, allowing you to catch your breath, โcold.โย
sukuna shifted immediately, pulling you even closer if that was humanly possible, pulling the blanket up your smaller frame, โbetter?โย
โi guess.โโ
he rolled his eyes, โyouโre impossible.โย
โand yetโฆโ
โand yet.โย
sukuna pressed his nose briefly into your hair, the stars blurring slightly when you blink, not from tears but the weight of it all.ย
he adjusts you once more, pulling you into him so your face rested against his neck, warmth encompassing you, solid and certain.ย
as if he was built to hold things that try to slip away.ย
and for once, you didnโt feel like slipping.
โพ
โโด๏ธห๏ฝกโ แดษด | this is out of the blue but felt inspired so finished up this chapterrr! sorry to keep u guys waiting for so long, hope it was worth itttt! AHH I LOVE THEM SM AND THEIR NEW DYNAMIC! (also peep the ari lyric my queen)
as always plsss lmk what u think i love to read ur comments + asks + thoughts! โก
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โพ
the wind was cold against your damp cheek, the air tasting like metal as you sniffled.ย
sukuna had walked away fifteen minutes ago but you remained where you were, right where heโd left you.ย
you werenโt sure why you didnโt move. shock? agony?
no. hope.ย
you hoped heโd come back, something in you told you he would. but when twenty minutes passed, the hope had flickered down to ache.ย
not the dramatic kind of ache you often heard about. no thunder or sirens or some cinematic moment where the pain announced itself.ย
but there was a sick, twisted kind of hollow feeling that settled in your throat and made swallowing feel like work.ย
sukuna had disappeared down the sidewalk quick, like he was trying to outrun the pain in his chest. like he was fighting back the doubts in his mind. like distance would undo what heโd just done.ย
part of you didnโt blame him for leaving and thatโs what killed you. the fact that, truthfully, you understood.ย
but you remained where you were, hands clenched at your sides so hard that your nails half-mooned into your palms. your breath was trembling, fogging into the cold as your eyes burned.ย
and when you realized he wouldnโt come back, when the torment dragged on and the sorrow settled, you broke.ย
your body folded in on itself like itโd been holding you upright with effort on borrowed time, knees hugging to your chest as a sob caught in your throat.ย
you allowed yourself to cry and sob and claw at your chest for a good five minutes before you tried to settle down.ย
crying wouldnโt fix anything, it certainly wouldnโt bring him back and it wouldnโt stop his home from being what it always was. hell on earth.ย
and you remembered, through the blurriness and shiversโฆtake care of yuji, yeah?
and your feet moved before your brain did.ย
because if sukuna could run, then you could run too.ย
just in the opposite direction.ย
the first thing you thought as you stood before sukunaโs home is that it was eerily quiet.ย
usually, you could hear yujiโs yelling from the porch or even his fatherโs drunken yells or sukunaโs booming voice yelling back.ย
you didnโt hear a thing. and something squeezed in your chest.ย
with a shuddering breath, eyes still raw and puffy, you slowly made your way up the porch steps, heart thudding in anticipation.ย
something twisted in your gut, screaming that something was deeply wrong.ย
you knew which boards creaked on the steps and avoided them. you knew which window latch didnโt close properly and tilted your head to see the glow of the living room television through the blinds.ย
the living room light was off but someone was watching tv. and you doubted it was yuji.ย
your stomach dropped.ย
you didnโt even attempt to enter through the front door. no, that would be stupid. a death wish dressed up as bravery. you had no interest in being brave.ย
you went around the side, fingers numb from the cold but palms damp with anxiety. your movements were that of a ghost.ย
the back door stuck like it always did, swollen wood and extremely cheap hinges. your hand placed itself on the cold doorknob, easing it open one careful inch at a time until the gap was just enough for you to slip through.ย
fuck, you felt sick.ย
the warmth hit you first, not the light kind, but the kind that alerted your body that it was entering somewhere.ย
and then the smell hit you next, your nose wrinkling in distaste and confusion. what the fuck was that?
it wasnโt cigarette smoke or beer.ย
this was more sharp, chemical and it reeked.ย
your nose stung so bad that your eyes watered instantly and for a second, you gagged at the odor.ย
you were so out of it, you couldnโt even really place the scent, not fully. your brain tried to rationalize it because it always did when something felt too dangerous, when you were on high alert.ย
the best and most logical explanation was that sukunaโs father had dropped one of his many bottles of alcohol. yes, that was causing the sharp stench.ย
but would one bottle be strong enough to elicit this strong of a smell?ย
you didnโt have time to stand and try to figure it out, though, there was no time.ย
from the living room came the low murmur of the television, and you could hear sukunaโs fatherโs drunken low slurs to himself, the clinking of glass, a cough.ย
fuck, your skin crawled.ย
your eyes darted around the kitchen and for a second, you wondered what itโd be like to just plunge the steak knife on the table in his neck.ย
to be over with this hell.ย
to have ryo come back.ย
what the hell were you thinking?
you took a deep breath as your eyes assessed the floorboard to avoid any step you knew would creak.ย
if he saw you, it was over. not over like youโd get yelled at and sent home, but over like you might not make it out the door. not with yuji, at least. and you couldnโt leave him.ย
so you forced your body to move anyway, stepping forward with every ounce carefulness you could muster up in your shaken state.ย
the hallway was black, the air felt heavy and thick like the smell had soaked into the walls and the carpet.ย
you retched. like physically doubled over for a moment.ย
this couldnโt be the spill of a glass of alcohol, not even a bottle.ย
that gut feeling twisted once more. you needed to get out of here. just not without yuji.ย
you took another step forward and your shoe slid just a little, sending a cold shock straight up your spine at the idea of falling and alerting their dad of your presence.ย
your heart was beating a mile a minute as you looked down. the floor was slick.ย
a thin, glistening sheen, catching what little light bled from the living room.
your stomach lurched, breath catching so hard it hurt.ย
you didnโt know what it was, nor did you long to know.ย
your sure you knew what it was, somewhere in your brain but your brain wasnโt fully with you right now.ย
you only had one objective and that was bring yuji home to yours.ย
so you didnโt allow yourself to think long enough for the truth to land.ย
with each step you took, your stomach twisted, skirting the wet patches like they might snap up and bite you.ย
your heart hammered in your ears so loud, you were worried it would give you away, that heโd hear it.ย
and when you heard their father yell something at the tv, you didnโt stop, you kept moving, slow and calculated.ย
one hand braced against the wall, fingers feeling for balance, for an anchor of some sort. for anything steady in a house that had never known steadiness a day in itโs life.ย
yujiโs room was at the very end of the hall and as you passed by sukunaโs closed door, you didnโt let your eyes linger on it, not as your chest began cracking open once more.ย
you reached yujiโs door and paused.ย
what if he wasnโt home? part of you hoped he wasnโt because this feeling in your gut was only getting louder, screaming and begging for you to leave.ย
run, run, run.ย
you wouldnโt leave him.ย
you tried the door and it was locked. fuck fuck fuck.ย
you knocked once, quiet and low as your eyes darted towards the end of the hall where his father would appear if any sound were to come.ย
nothing.ย
you knocked once more, heart erratic and movements desperate.ย
then you heard a small rustle, a shuffle of sorts.ย
then a small and hesitant voice pierce through the wood, trembling like it had learned that any sound would be punished.ย
โwho is it?โย
your throat closed and you swallowed it open.ย
โitโs me, yuji,โ you whispered lowly, only hoping heโd be able to still hear you through the door, โitโs okay, kid. open the door, buddy, just a little, okay? quietly.โ
the door clicked open immediately and your eyes immediately met yujiโs small figure. much too small for an eight year old.ย
his salmon hair was sticking up the crown like heโd been tossing and turning, bare feet on cold floor. his bright red pajamas adorning his figure and drowning it.ย
as his gaze snapped up to you, you momentarily watched the relief immediately fill his gaze, so fast, it almost looked like he was in pain.ย
โyouโre-โย
his voice was too loud, quick to stop speaking when you pressed your index finger to your lips.ย
he stopped himself like heโd remembered the rules.ย
you crouched down immediately, ignoring the liquid that was seeping into your jeans.ย
fuck, it really did reek in here.ย
โhi, kid,โ you breathed out, forcing softness into your voice as it fell over him like a blanket, smiling gently though pained and forced, โyouโre okay.โ
his eyes immediately flicked behind you as your hands held his, almost like heโd expected a shadow to lunge itself at you.ย
โhe came in and he poured something all over my room,โ he whispered as your brows furrowed, looking down at his carpet that was stained darker in some spots, โand heโd drinking again. he told me to stay here and said to try to sleep. h-he said i shouldnโt leave.โ
your jaw clenched, hard. fucking sadistic asshole.ย
you couldnโt let your anger overcome you, not now.ย
โitโs okay, kid, youโre okayโฆโ you gulped softly as you brushed his arms gently, eyes flicking over to the end of the hall, โlisten, weโre gonna go to my house, okay?โย
yujiโs eyes lit up, โreally? will your mom be there? will she give me ice cream?โย
your heart cracked but you smiled softly, โoh, yeah. sheโd got all kinds of flavors stocked up for you. we just gotta get out of here first, okay?โย
yuji immediately smiled and nodded, child-like excitement filling him and you wanted to cry.ย
โwill sukuna come?โย
your chest tightened so hard, you almost couldnโt take in a breath.ย
you couldnโt tell him, not like this.ย
so you lied, gentle and promising.ย
โsukunaโฆjust needed some air, okay?โ you whispered a you watched his face soften in a way that made you want to sob all over again.ย
yuji nodded fast, โwhere is he?โย
your throat burned but you smiled once more anyway.ย
โheโs, uh, heโs gonna come over later, okay?โ your voice shook, โbut right now, i need you to be really good for me, yeah?โย
yuji blinked up at you, small but trusting as he nodded.ย
you heard commotion from the living room and your stomach lurched once more. you were running out of time.ย
โwe have to go now, okay? cmon.โย
his little hand immediately gripped yours, his bare feet on wood and glistening with whatever liquid was on the floor. there was no time for shoes, though.ย
his fingers were cold and yours were even colder.ย
you guided him down the hallway and though he wasnโt completely sure what was going on, he knew something was wrong just as much as you did.ย
both of you froze at the sudden sound from the living room, a chair scraping the floor and your heart stopped.ย
yujiโs grip tightening immediately, small body gluing to yours and squeezing, hard enough to hurt. like a child bracing for impact.ย
you couldnโt breathe and you waited.ย
nothing more followed, no footsteps or yelling.ย
you waited a few more seconds, three, five, ten before moving once more, pulling the little boy with you, careful around the slick floor.ย
and you were suddenly glad he wasnโt wearing shoes, worried for the squeaking that would otherwise occur.ย
and when you both came into light, you could both see the back of his fatherโs head as he took a gulp of his liquor, murmuring something along the lines of itโll all be okay.ย
you shuddered as you turned back to the back door that was still slightly ajar from your earlier entrance.ย
slowly, you made your way towards it, careful, up until yuji slipped on the whatever liquid was beneath you.ย
his small body almost fell with a thud until you gripped his hand hard and pulled him up when he was just an inch away from the ground.ย
your gazes met for a second, two, eyes wide and unblinking, both alert.ย
a baited breath passed before you couldnโt take it anymore, kneeling down to lift the boy into your arms.ย
thank god the boy was lighter and smaller than boys his age. you held him against you as you made your way towards the door, almost slipping once before the cold outside hit you both as you finally slipped out.ย
yuji sucked in a breath like he hadnโt realized he was allowed to inhale.ย
and you both still didnโt make a sound, both never looked back once as you tucked yuji closer, guiding him across the yard and through the narrow gap in the fence you and sukuna used to always sneak through years ago.ย
โiโm scared.โ yuji whispered against your neck as you led him down the sidewalk, away from his godforsaken home, away from his nightmare of a father and away from everything heโd ever had the displeasure of knowing.ย
โi know, kid, i know. itโll be okay. youโre safe now.โย
you walked faster, breaths coming out in clouds.ย
your legs ached, your chest ached even more.ย
and all the while, your mind kept screaming one name over and over again, like a prayer.
sukuna. sukuna. sukuna.ย
tears fell against your cheek as yuji hugged you tighter, as if he could feel it.ย
the boy in your arms was real. he was here.ย
the one in your heart and mind was long gone.ย
so you held onto yuji tighter as you made your way home.ย
and later that night, you found out that the mystery liquid was gasoline.ย
โพ
the first thing sukuna noticed was the cold.
it seeped into his skin where warmth shouldโve been.ย
his eyes fluttered open after a moment of dread, but sukuna knew what would meet his gaze once he opened his eyes.ย
emptiness.ย
where you had feel asleep beside him, on him, pressed against him was empty. just cold sheets in place of your warmth.ย
consciousness crept in slowly, cruelly, but he didnโt have to be fully awake to understand that you werenโt there anymore.ย
for a second, his mind tried to fill in the space beside him. it tried to convince him you were just in the bathroom or downstairs making pancakes.ย
but he knew the truth because he knew you.ย
he pushed himself up on one elbow, eyes scanning the room with a sharpness that didnโt match the hour.ย
your phone wasnโt on the nightshade, your clothes not on the floor and he had finally conceded to the reality facing him.ย
you were gone.ย
his chest tightened, โfuck!โย
the word left him all hoarse, scraped raw from his throat like heโd been screaming for hours.ย
sukuna was shirtless, only clad in his black briefs as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, dread settling deep in his gut as his hands gripped the edge of the mattress for a moment, hoping the touch would ground him.ย
he didnโt want to admit it to himself, nor did he want to accept it but again, he knew you. so he knew what youโd done.ย
there was no point in checking the rooms, you were long gone.ย
the house felt quiet, a wrong kind of quiet that was so far from peace.ย
like something essential had slipped out beneath the walls while heโd slept and taken every semblance of warmth with it.ย
his hands flexed once more before standing up.ย
a dozen thoughts barreled not his mind at once.
she regrets it.ย
she hates me.ย
i crossed the line.ย
she realized she made a mistake.ย
the last thought lodged itself deepest, twisting at his heart until he felt a bit nauseous.
nauseous, yes. angry? fuck yes.ย
he was absolutely furious.ย
because he also knew that amongst your possible regret and overthinking, you probably doubted his feelings for you. you were probably convincing yourself that he was simply acting out of wrong emotion, impulse.ย
idiot couldnโt be more wrong.ย
he moved into the bathroom with a heaviness in his chest, jaw clenched as he looked up at the mirror.ย
โfuck!โ his hand slammed against the counter hard enough to rattle the cabinets. his breathing came faster now, chest rising sharp and uneven as his mind spiraled to places it knew all too well. places that reeked of self-destruction, where he always ended up alone.ย
he scrubbed a hand down his face, fingers trembling despite his efforts to stay steady.ย
i shouldโve stopped. i shouldโve waited. i shouldโve, i shouldโve, i shouldโve-
he stopped, just for a moment, he allowed himself to take a breath.ย
those doubts never did him any good.ย
for years and years, heโd lived with that voice telling him he needed to pull back, he needed to stop, he needed to distance himself.ย
sukuna was fucking sick of it.ย
yesterday, heโd felt emotions heโd never fucking felt before.ย
sukuna felt so much relief, years and years and years of weight on his chest being lifted the moment your lips pressed against his.ย
sukuna believed youโd never want anything to do with him in that sense, not after all heโs done, not after the fire.ย
and ryomen sukuna, more than anyone, knew you. so how could he be wrong?ย
but maybe he didnโt really know you like he thought he did.ย
because he wasnโt crazy. he felt you yesterday, he felt the way you wanted, needed him. no one could fake that, especially not you.ย
sukuna recognized himself in you yesterday.ย
he recognized the desperation, the need, the softness in your gaze because he felt it all for you. he felt everything for you.ย
so yes, maybe he didnโt know you like he thought and thank fuck for that. because that meant the little shitty voice in his head that consistently told him he wasnโt enough for you was wrong.ย
you felt for him. and god, did he feel for you.ย
so heโll let you run, heโll let you overthink and sulk and hide all you want.ย
fuck, heโd do it with the biggest smile on his face because he knew under all those false thoughts, smothered with anxiety and denialโฆ
you felt for him. you felt for him.ย
and that was enough to have ryomen sukuna falling back asleep like a baby.
โพ
you didnโt look back when the train doors slid shut.ย
instead, you stumbled over to the closest window seat and slumped on the cushioned seat, sighing gently as your eyes gazed outside.ย
you tried not to think.ย
because if you allowed your mind to run again, if you remembered the warm house youโd left behind or the way sukunaโs body had been pressing against yours, your protector even in his sleep, you would turn around.ย
and that terrified you.ย
the train lurched forward, metal screeching softly as it steadily picked up speed. your eyes fluttered shut, heartbeat erratic as you tried to calm your breathing.ย
memories flooded through you, calloused hands, hot breaths and groans. fuck, you were done for.ย
you opened your eyes and looked towards the glass once more, your reflection staring back at you. you looked tired.ย
you couldnโt stop replaying it.ย
the kiss, the way heโd held you, the way he sounded when his voice softened as your name left his lips.ย
you squeezed your eyes shut once more.ย
it was a mistake. it had to be.ย
because if it wasnโt, if what happened last night meant something then everything would change. and change had always been something you feared the most. you hated the unknown, you hated not knowing what would happen if you took that leap.ย
your hands folded in your lap, fingers twisting into each other as they trembled slightly.ย
youโd left before the sun fully rose.ย
you laid there for a total of twenty minutes, sukunaโs arm draped against you, a strong leg bent over you, as if he was stopping you from leaving. as if he knew.ย
for twenty minutes, your mind had worked overtime, replaying everything that had happened and coming up with the worst case scenarios of what would happen.ย
and twenty minutes later, you came up with the conclusion that sukuna would pretend it never happened, that heโd know it was a mistake, that heโd only done it because he was emotional, impulsive.ย
because ryomen sukuna didnโt want you like that, he couldnโt.ย
no, that would be too fucking cruel.ย
if he had wanted you all this time like last night suggested, if heโd longed for you, if heโd gotten that tattoo because he felt for you, then everything youโd known about him was wrong.ย
then heโd tortured you for years unnecessarily.ย
he couldโve given you everything youโd wanted. him.ย
but he didnโt. instead, he went on rampages, chased off any guy that ever had the balls to want you with sukuna around and made you believe that you were only friends.ย
and you didnโt know how to live with that.ย
so, you decided that sukuna had only done what he did because of mere instinct. you were both emotional, both on edge.ย
if, for a second, you allowed yourself to believe sukuna actually wanted you, then that spark of hope youโd snuffed out long ago would light again.ย
because you knew sukuna had to have felt for you once, right?
the night he left when you were both sixteen. he kissed you.ย
slow and soft and quick, but he did it.ย
maybe it was merely a goodbye, maybe it was just out of pure emotion and sadness because he was leaving.ย
but he still took your first kiss.ย
and you were his ever since.ย
but you couldnโt be.ย and that kiss was never brought up again.
you had left a bit after 5am, uber waiting outside when youโd left the gated house. you stood outside the door of the uber for a few seconds, hand stilling on the handle of the door before the driver had rushed you in, chest aching because you felt like you were abandoning him.ย
you didnโt let yourself look back, couldnโt bear the thought of him asleep and peaceful when you felt like you were falling apart.ย
your phone vibrated in your pocket and your breath hitched.ย
your heart leapt, violent and immediate, before reason kicked in.ย
no, it couldnโt be sukuna.ย
you knew him, if he was awake by now, he was absolutely furious with you. he wouldnโt call you.ย
you didnโt breathe until the vibration stopped. then your phone pinged.ย
you knew him. you knew him.ย
it wasnโt him.ย
it was probably shoko or utahime asking where you were. or yuji sending you a stupid meme.ย
you pulled out your phone then.ย
ryo : nice oneย
7:02amย
your breath hitched.ย
the guilt set in then. heavy and suffocating.ย
because youโd seen his face last night, youโd felt how badly he wanted it at the moment, wanted you. and youโd still left without giving him anything real to hold onto. without giving him the benefit of the doubt.ย
and your thoughts seemed even more like a reach now.ย
because youโd realized something.ย
maybe you didnโt quite know sukuna like youโd once anticipated.ย
you always prided yourself on knowing the complex and hotheaded ryomen sukuna more than anyone, even his own brother.ย
for years, youโd almost anticipated each of his actions, you knew the way his brain worked, you knew how he thought.ย
but you were wrong this time. he did call.ย
what does that mean?ย
could it be that you were wrong about yesterday too?ย
could ryo feel for you like you did him? like you loved him?
well, you couldnโt find out now because you didnโt even give him the chance to prove anything. you ran.ย
just like he did all those years ago. just like, for a while, you hated him for. did he hate you now?ย
you felt sick at the thought for a moment.ย
just a week ago, youโd told him you didnโt want to see him anymore and here you were, genuinely sick at the thought of it.ย
you pressed your forehead to the cold window, breath fogging the glass.ย
you could still feel him. his hands, his warmth, the way heโd looked at you like you were giving him food and shelter when heโd been starving and cold for years.ย
your chest ached with it. you didnโt know how to want something so badly and be so terrified of it at the same time.ย
โพ
by the time ryomen sukuna, alpha phi vice president and star quarterback, was back on campus, it was like heโd never left.ย
that was the first lie.ย
the second was his face as a whole, settled into that same familiar mask heโd worn his whole life. calm, blank, unbothered and confident.ย
like he didnโt constantly feel an ache behind his ribs or the ghost of you against his skin.ย
the frat house was loud before heโd even opened the door.ย
shouting, yelling, footsteps and someone laughing like theyโd been doing it for an hour straight.ย
the familiar smell of dior sauvage, cheap bear and gojoโs citrus flavored pre-workout clung to the air.ย
โBRO!โ satoru practically launched himself at him and sukuna barely had time to blink before there were arms around his body, satoru clapping him on the back. โyouโre back!โย
sukuna scowled instantly, fingers gripping satoruโs shirt and peeled the white-haired man away from him like he weighed nothing.ย
gojo wasnโt phased, grinning gently, all too bright and relieved, โi knew sheโd get your dumbass back!โย
sukunaโs jaw flexed once and he provided no answer as he walked towards the kitchen.ย
geto was leaning on the counter, sipping a protein shake as he watched the salmon haired man through his lashes. he watched him like someone would watch a ticking time bomb, waiting and cautious.ย
nanami was seated by the couch, notebook in hand that heโd placed down upon sukunaโs entrance, watching and waiting but trying not to stare.ย
everyone was somehow loud but trying not to be.ย
like the entire frat had discussed him prior to his arrival, agreeing not to take up too much space, not to push, not ask too many questions, not say your name too casually.ย
satoru, of course, didnโt get the memo.ย
โsooo,โ he sang as he watched sukuna get a bottle of water from the fridge and begin chugging it, โhow are you and our little princess? you two good now? she forgive you? did you grovel? DID SHE SLAP YOU-โย
he ended with a gasp until he had finally noticed getoโs deadly glare, practically screaming at him to stop talking.ย
slowly, sukuna glanced at satoru, no anger or annoyance on his face.ย
just pure emptiness. and satoruโs grin faltered.
โuh, okayโฆnever mind, thenโฆโ gojo cleared his throat once, eyes assessing his friend with both understanding and concern, โno pushing. got it.โ
sukuna didnโt offer a reply, simply walking past his friend and making his way up the steps towards his room.ย
and once the door shut behind him, his shoulders sagged and his eyes fell shut.ย
he clenched his fists once and noticed how eerily steady he was.ย
his breathing was even and his shoulders were lax but his mind was practically a war zone. because youโd left.ย
you hadnโt replied to his text and frankly, he hadnโt expected you to. what with the shame and guilt and all.ย
even though heโd made peace with you leaving, knowing what you were possibly thinking and clinging onto that damned hope in his chest that youโd somehow choose himโฆhe still felt sick at the thought.ย
he hated the thought of you regretting what youโd done, regretting him and believing he was some sort of passing mistake.ย
because it was different with you two. it wasnโt as simple as two people liking each other and the universe pulling them apart.ย
there was so much history between you both, so many emotions unsaid and memories kept close to your chests. there were passing moments only you remembered and more colossal chains of events that shaped the dynamic between you both, things none of your friends would understand. no one would understand but you.ย
and fuck, he was angry.ย
a simmering anger that sat deep in his gut and gripped at every part of him that still hoped youโd come back on your own.ย
because god knows, if you took too long, sukuna wasnโt far behind you and heโd confront you if you let it linger.ย
truthfully, he didnโt actually think youโd have the guts to leave.ย
but you did. youโd been surprising him more and more lately, with your argument at the game and the way youโd kissed him.ย
sukuna let out a deep breath as he walked towards his bed before hearing a knock on his door. he audibly groaned.ย
โwhat?โ sukuna practically barked as his door was gently pushed open and he could see the stark pair of pale blue eyes and immediately huffed, โwhat dโya want?โ
gojo cleared his throat, shifting on his feet before making his way inside the room, allowing the door to shut.ย
he was uncharacteristically calm and it irked sukuna.ย
โare you guys okay now?โ sukunaโs jaw clenched at his friendโs words, โlook, i know you donโt wanna talk about it and the guysโll kill me if they find out but i gotta know.โ
and sukuna didnโt know why but for whatever reason, he wanted to speak out.ย
he wanted to tell someone.ย
so he did.ย
he told satoru about it all from the night of the game to the moment heโd woken up without you beside him.ย
he could still taste you from last night, still feel the weight of you on him like youโd branded him and there was no going back.ย
and now, you were probably back in your stupid apartment, overthinking yourself into a grave while sukuna pretended he wasnโt absolutely unraveling as he waited for you to come to your senses.ย
and once he was done, satoruโs eyes were wide as he stood before him, hands on his hips, โwoahโฆshe likeโฆleft left?โย
sukunaโs eyes flickered to him, sharp now.ย
gojo lifted both hands immediately, โright. sorry. stupid question.โ
sukuna exhaled with a shake of his head, the silence stretching between them.ย
and then satoruโs voice came softer, almost careful, โyou knowโฆi know you think youโre doing the right thing by letting her realize it for herself and yโknow, coming back or whatever, butโฆโ satoru paused momentarily, sighing once, โbut itโs still a game, sukuna. you both have been playing this game for so long, years before weโd all even known you. and now things finally came to light and naturally, she freaks out because i mean, who wouldnโt? sheโs always seen you as this one thing and you showed her another side of you and youโre still playing this stupid fucking gameโฆโ sukunaโs jaw clenched, โarenโt you fucking tired of games, man? give in, sukuna. give in and fucking admit defeat. you love her, you know you do, we all know you do. now, tell her you do.โย
and ryomen sukuna couldnโt breathe as satoru held up a mirror to his face.ย
he was still running in circles, as he always did with you. because it was safer, easier, more comfortable that way.ย
but the game was also torturous. like a never-ending loop of pain and yearning so deep, he couldnโt function.ย
sukuna has carried yearning he didnโt know how to hold but didnโt know where to put down for years. you had been the one constant in his life since he was young and he didnโt know what to do with that.ย
how can he express anything to you without explaining how deeply you were engraved in his chest? how can he explain that the love he held for you was so deep, it had always been accompanied with pain?ย
satoru was right. sukuna was still playing this stupid game because he was afraid.ย
he was afraid of change, of you looking at him differently, of not being loved the way he loved you.ย
but then what? would he spend the rest of his life orbiting you from afar, burning you every time he came close to spilling whatever fire burned beneath his ribs?ย
satoruโs words hung between them like a loaded gun.ย
sukuna didnโt say much after that. he didnโt have to because his entire soul and body had already told on him.ย
โพ
your apartment was as quiet as it was warm. but not peaceful.ย
just quiet. in a way rooms get when somethingโs missing.ย
youโd showered since you got back, you reorganized your closet and arranged your bookshelf. youโd cleaned your kitchen twice and attempted to study but kept re-reading the same lecture slide over and over until your eyes stung.ย
because every time there was a stretch of silence, the second you went still, you remembered him.ย
you remembered the way heโd looked the morning after, with his tattooed skin and parted pink lips.ย
you imagined what heโd looked like when he woke up, even though you werenโt there to see it, you could imagine it anyway.ย
that was the curse of knowing someone for so long. you could picture his face even with your eyes closed, you could see every tattoo, freckle and indentation on his face.ย
even if you were blind, you believe you would know him instantly.ย
you didnโt know what to do. you didnโt know how to deal with this feeling in your chest, you could barely even recognize it.ย
it was longing mixed with a sense of guilt. you felt guilty for leaving, you did.ย
and you didnโt know what to do.ย
your thoughts were cut off by a knock on your door that startled you so much so, you almost dropped the mug of tea in your hands.ย
you sighed gently as your heart hammered, making your way to the door in your little fuzzy socks, hair still damp and your oversized sweater swallowing you whole.ย
could it be?ย
shoko stood there with her tote bag slung over one shoulder when you opened the door, utahime beside her with her arms crossed and expression blank in the way that made you feel like she could see right through ypu.ย
shakos eyes swept over your face, โwell, youโre alive.โย
you blinked, โhello to you too.โย
they had texted you a couple of times since youโd left to the beach house yesterday but you hadnโt replied, sukuna stealing any bit of energy you had to face anyone.ย
utahime pushed past you without waiting for your invitation, shoko following as you sighed softly, shutting and locking the door.ย
โokay,โ shoko dropped onto your couch and patted the space beside her, โwhatโd you do?โย
you stayed standing, doe eyes wide and glassy as you watched them both.ย
you couldnโt sit because sitting meant stilling and if you settled, you might start crying.ย
โum, i-โ you gulped softly, โi think i messed up.โ
shokoโs brows lifted, โno way.โ
utahime deadpanned from where sheโd been stationed by your armchair, โshocking.โ
you shot them both a look, annoyed even as your chest tightened and the walls felt like they were closing in on you.ย
โwe kissed.โ shoko and hime both straightened up immediately, eyes widening and mouth parting to start spewing words you didnโt want to hear so you kept going, โwe kissed. then he, um, well, touched me. then we slept. then i left.โย
your words were simple despite the complexity of the situation and they both watched you like you had two heads.ย
โyouโฆleft?โ hime voiced slowly, as if confirming something sheโd hoped she misheard.ย
you nodded once.ย
shokoโs mouth was still parted, โwhy.โ
because if you stayed, youโd have to face it all. you might finally admit you werenโt simply his best friend. youโd have to hear him out.ย
because if you had stayed, youโd have to allow yourself to possibly be wanted without flinching.ย
you exhaled shakily, โi panicked.โ
shoko made a strangled sound, โyou panicked? after you two finally-โ
โyouโre an idiot.โ utahime spoke like a judge delivering a sentence.ย
you mouth parted. you predicted that they might gently scold you but you didnโt think theyโd be this shocked.ย
โi couldnโt face him, not after everything. i donโt wanna hear him tell me to forget it happened or try to pretend nothing happened or push it under the rug or that it was a mistake-โ
โdo you know how much that man loves you?โย
your stomach dropped, heart stilling at himeโs words.
you scoffed immediately because denial was muscle memory when it came to sukuna.ย
โhe is stupidly, disgustingly, violently, insatiably in love with you since before weโd ever even met you. he doesnโt even try to hide it so lord knows how you havenโt noticed.โ shoko spoke firmly before you could get a word in, eyes wide and trained on you as you shifted, feeling bile rise at the mere conversation.ย
โyou donโt know thatโฆโ you swallowed, index nail digging into that raw patch on your thumb and hime noticed, sighing softly as she said your name all gentle.ย
โhe doesnโt look at anyone the way he looks at youโฆโ hime began slowly, โactually, he doesnโt do anything with anyone the way he does with you. he speaks to you different, acts different, looks different, fucking breathes different.โ
utahime laughed but it wasnโt amused, it was smothered with disbelief and sympathy. sympathy for you, even for sukuna. for all the years youโd both let pass without allowing yourselves the privilege of finally having one another.ย
silence swallowed the room as you tried to blink back tears and they both watched with heavy hearts as you came to terms with it all in your head.ย
โwhy did you run?,โ shoko softly said your name, โwhen will it end? you said it yourself, you love him! and i know, deep down, you know he loves you! if ryomen fucking sukuna is capable of love, god knows itโs with you and no one else. who else, literally?โ
tears began trickling down your soft cheeks as your hands trembled.ย
more and more, with each passing moment, the guilt grew and right alongside it, that fuckass light of hope.ย
even as you let the silence linger, utahime and shoko could both see the resolve in your gaze.ย
โokay,โ shoko stood up abruptly, pointing at hime like she was giving an order, โwhat time is it?โ
uthaime glanced at her phone, โten forty seven.โ
you blinked with a soft sniffle, โwhat?โย
shoko made her way into your room, rummaging and shuffling as you looked at utahime who simply shrugged. shoko came back out in a minute with your coat and a pair of pants, โhere. put these on.โ
your eyes shifted from the clothing to her gaze, โwhat are you doing?โ
shoko looked at you as if you were the frantic one, โyouโre going to fix this.โย
your heart slammed against your ribs at the mere prospect of facing him, โno.โ
โyes.โ
โi donโt even know what to say.โ
shoko stared you down, โyou say the truth.โ
you gulped gently, hands trembling as you shook your head softly when utahime moved to stand before you as well.ย
โgive yourself five minutes,โ you looked up at her gentle gaze, โyou donโt have to be brave forever. go be honest for five minutes.โ
your mind screamed at you to run, to protect yourself. but your chest screamed louder, for him, for the chance to finally reveal everything.ย
so you nodded.ย
you pulled on the knit pants shoko had handed you, heart beating a mile minute as you pulled on your trench coat as well.ย
then you walked out into the cold and towards the frat as if they were holding your execution.ย
โพ
the frat house was weirdly quiet for a friday night.ย
you were expecting one of satoruโs themed parties, alcohol and sweaty bodies.ย
alas, the house sounded like it was grieving.
it unsettled you but you forced yourself to move anyway, taking gentle steps forward, mind whirring with words, with what you were gonna say.ย
and once you pushed the door open, you were met with the quiet you were now expecting, eyes filtering through the space to see some of the pledges by the kitchen counter, voices low as they murmured.ย
you could feel the low energy in the house. it resembled he quiet in a childhood home when a parent was mad and everyone was just on edge. tense.
the pledges' eyes shot up once you entered before they shot you a quick smile and looked down, as if given orders by someone to not look at you. you knew who.ย
your eyes then turned to the living room space where you caught nanamiโs gaze and the blondeโs eyes immediately turned knowing, understanding as he gave you a small nod that you retuned with a gentle smile.ย
you werenโt used to this in the slightest, how eerily slow everything seemed in here.ย
your feet padded softly on the ground as you made your way up the familiar steps towards the end of the hall.ย
with each step you took, your body felt heavier, like something was dragging you down, like your body was stopping you like it had a million times before.ย
you wouldnโt let it.ย
and as you neared sukunaโs room, the door was open where it was usually always shut.ย
you breathed out gently as you stood in front of the room and you immediately spotted the boy youโd known most of your life.ย
he was by the little living area in his room, navy couch beneath him as he was clad in his plaid pajamas pants and loose graphic shirt with obi wan kenobi on it.ย
it was a shirt youโd gotten him years ago. and that same year, he'd gotten you an anakin skywalker one.ย
upon seeing him, he was throwing a ball to the wall and watching as it bounced back to him and he caught it. and heโd repeat the process over and over again, mind nowhere near his vicinity.ย
you stood by his bedroom door awkwardly for a while, brain pausing and you couldnโt think of anything you wanted to say, despite spending the whole walk here trying to come up with some sort of heartfelt monologue.ย
and finally, you settled on, โnice shirt.โ
the ball tumbled onto the ground where sukuna missed the catch.ย
his eyes lifted instantly, head turning to face you and you could see him still, back straightening, uncharacteristically taken aback.ย
with a soft sigh, you moved forward and further into the room, allowing his bedroom door to shut as your eyes gazed around his room before finally landing on him.ย
you could see the way his eyes sharpened like he didnโt trust you to be real, the way his jaw flexed like he was holding back whatever had been brewing inside him the moment heโd woken up this morning.ย
โthanks,โ his voice deep and low, jaw clenching for a moment as he feigned nonchalance, โgot it for my 17th birthday.โย
despite everything, you smiled gently, nodding a bit as you moved forward, closer and closer to him.ย
โhell of a giftโฆโย
sukuna hummed as he slowly stood up, nodding, โmhm. got her one right back. she likes geeky stuff like that.โ
your lips tilted a bit more and something warmed in your chest, simultaneously aching as a sense of nostalgia filled you, โmust be someone special.โ
and sukuna watched you, head tilted and tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek for a moment. his hands were inside the pockets of his pants as you gazed upon you with so many conflicting emotions and utter softness, your knees trembled.ย
โyou have no ideaโฆโ the words left him as a mere low whisper, almost unconsciously.ย
and you couldnโt stop the glassiness in your eyes if youโd tried.ย
something in you ached for him, screamed for you to run to him and you allowed yourself a moment to breathe, to really take him in.ย
as if he knew, he remained quiet and unmoving as you took him in.ย
and it was like a movie, something you couldnโt explain but memories flashed in your mind. passing moments, things you werenโt aware you even remembered, fleeting moments, good and bad. you and sukuna. sukuna and you.ย
ever since you were twelve years old, you believed sukuna was your soulmate.ย
fully and inevitably yours.ย
and as time passed, that shifted and morphed into something less significant, less consequential.ย
you believed that ryomen sukuna was meant to be in your life in whatever way was right. and you believed that was friends for the longest time.ย
a platonic soulmate, possibly.ย
but god, nothing you felt about the man before you was platonic.ย
nothing you felt for him was short of passionate and needy and desperate.ย
you longed for him, your soul ached for him.ย
and your cheeks flushed with something like shame.ย
โiโm sorry, ryo.โย
sukuna didnโt flinch, barely shifting as he nodded once, head straightening as he watched you, โwhyโd you leave.โ
it was a demand more than a question but you liked to believe you had a choice in answering, nonetheless. and of course, you spoke up because you promised yourself you would. five minutes of bravery.ย
โbecause i panicked.โ you whispered gently and sukuna merely shot you a look as his nostrils flared.ย
โyeah. i figured.โ
you flinched then forced yourself to keep going because you knew if you stopped now, youโd only be tempted to run once again. although, you doubted heโd let you this time.ย
โi didnโt leave because i regretted you,โ you began, voice shakier than youโd intended, โi left because i didnโt know what to do withโฆwith what happened.โย
sukunaโs gaze never wavered, โwhat happenedโฆโ he repeated slowly.ย
your throat burned as your eyes stung, โyou.โ
that one word cracked something open and his expression shifted, just barely, like the mask he held onto for dear life at all times began slipping and you saw the rawness underneath.ย
โiโm furious at you.โ despite his words, his tone was soft and you gulped gently, nodding softly as your lips parted but heโd spoken up once more, โnot just about this morning. iโm furious about the game, about you leaving. because you keep doing it latelyโฆโ your doe eyes burned as your head tilted at the way his throat bobbed and fists clenched, โyou donโt get to do that, not you. you canโt just make me like this and leave. you canโt. you canโt make me need you so fuckinโ desperately and make my whole miserable fuckinโ existence centered around you then leave.โ
and you didnโt know what to say, your throat and eyes burning as the tears finally trickled down because yes, you were expecting some sort of emotional moment whether it was rejection or affection but this was overwhelming.ย
you didnโt expect him to sound so raw.
โi was just scaredโฆโ the words left you shaky and wet as sukuna shook his head, finally making his way over to you and your body burned for him as he grew closer.ย
โof me?โย
you shook your head immediately, although, it was kind of true. you were scared of him. because he held so much more power than he knew. he had the ability to break your heart into a million pieces and it was your fault.ย
โno. yes. maybe?โ you whispered lowly as sukuna stopped just a few inches away from you, towering as your eyes lifted to meet his, โnot scared of you exactlyโฆbut of what you could do?โย
an this brows furrowed instantly and you knew youโd made another mistake, โnot like that, justโฆyouโre the most important personโฆto me.โย
sukuna was quiet for a moment, dark eyes never leaving yours as he mentally attempted to peel back the layers of your words and god, he wished youโd just say whatย you mean.ย
โsukunaโฆโ you began gently and you knew the words that would leave you next would be utterly stupid, โdo you think weโre soulmates?โย
sukunaโs brows immediately furrowed and your heart dropped as he let out a low scoff, โfuck that shit,โ he shook his head as your eyes glistened once more, โsoulmates are fuckinโ stupid, i donโt need fate takin' the credit for us. i love you on purpose, because you did this to me, because i want you.โ
and you stood there for a moment, eyes never leaving him as you thought about how wrong you were about the things you were most sure of.ย
ever since you were thirteen, you would always daydream about the day ryomen sukuna confessed his love for you.ย
you thought about you heart, how fast it would beat. you thought of your skin, how it would feel like it was buzzing. you thought of clammy hands and trembling fingers, of butterflies soaring in your stomach.ย
almost ten years later, ryomen sukuna had finally confessed his feelings, finally uttered the words i love you.ย
and you feel nothing of the sort.ย
instead of a hammering heart, your heart stilled. your palms were dry and the finger that was picking at your raw patch of skin went slack. you didnโt get any butterflies, instead, your heart softened. you felt like youโd stepped into your childhood home after a long, grueling day of school. it felt like when your mom would confirm there were no monsters in the bed after waking up from a nightmare.ย
your entire body went soft, heart gentling and your eyes grew teary with every fierce emotion that battled the calmness that overcame you.ย
โyou love me?โ the words left you quiet and shaky, as if confirming his words over the ringing in your ears.ย
and sukuna no longer stood afraid, there was no hesitation or shakiness within him.ย
fuck it all. no more games.ย
โfuck yes,โ your name left his lips with desperation and relief hanging onto every syllable, โi love you so much, it fuckinโ terrifies me what iโd do for you. iโve loved you the moment you showed up for me with mahito and those fuckers back in school.โ
and you couldnโt control the tears that trailed down your damp cheeks as you grinned gently at the memory, โi hated them.โ
sukuna mirrored your grin, moving forward for his large hand to cup your jaw, cradling softly as his thumb brushed back your tears, โknow you did, brat.โ
and then his gaze tilted up to meet your eyes, his other hand cradling your other cheek as your hands gripped his wrists, doe eyes peering up at him expectantly.ย
โyou know, i spent years thinkinโ about everything that's happened to me growinโ up. ever since that fire, iโve wondered if i would go back and change anythingโฆโ he gulped gently then and your heart clenched at the memory, โfor years, i always thought the answer was yes. yeah, fuck yeah, iโd go back and change fuckinโ everythingโฆbut if i did, then i donโt know if weโd be where we are. i am who i am because of you. and iโm sorry of thatโs scary, but it doesnโt scare me. i have loved you for longer than i even remember, before iโd loved anything or anyone, i knew and loved you.โย
and you couldnโt stop crying, a choked sob leaving your bitten lips as sukuna merely smirked gently, โyโknow this is the part where you say somethinโ backโฆโ
you simply let out another sob as you clutched his wrists, gently smiling for a moment as your thumbs lightly brushed the skin, โi love you, ryo.โย
and then he was kissing you, no gentleness or hesitation this time.ย
it was heat and claim and pent up years of frustration and longing. his mouth moved against yours with fervor, gripping and pushing and pressing until you were rendered breathless.ย
you made a soft sound into his mouth, a half gasp and half moan, and his hand slid to the back of your head, holding you there and keeping you close.ย
โtell me,โ he breathed between kisses, lips brushing yours again and again like he couldnโt stop, โtell me again. and tell me you wonโt ever run again.โ
you shook your head against him, heart erratic as you tried to catch your breath, โi love you, kuna. i wonโt leave again.โ
his forehead pressed to yours, eyes shut tight before leaning down to pull you up as your legs wrapped around his hips, โgood.โย
and he kissed you once more.ย
your fingers clutched his shirt, knuckles white as his tongue slid into your mouth, hot and frantic, as if he was making up of years of lost time.ย
then he laid you down, soft but desperate as he whispered words of mine, not leaving, stay.ย
and sukuna didnโt leave anything up to chance this time, he left nothing up for debate as your clothes were shed one by one, wearing moonlight as cloth.ย
he told you in between kisses, he told you between your thighs and then he groaned it against your neck.ย
honest, relentless and loud.ย
and you let him, god, did you ever.ย
over and over and over again until you were a mess beneath him. until he was sure you knew exactly how he felt about you.ย
until he was sure youโd never run again.ย
โพ
ahhh deffo one of my fav chapters so far. it was a bit longer w another flashback but i felt like it was dragging so i cut it short!
this was more inner conflict than dialogue heavy but i lowkey loved ittt
as always, lmk what u thinkkkk !!! hope u guys enjoy !
after the last whistle blew and it was made official that sukuna had won his first ever college game, a party didnโt even cross his mind.ย
the locker room had been loud, gojo yelling, team chanting, sweat and adrenaline still clinging to them. but sukuna had peeled off his pads in silence, fingers shaking in a way he pretended was exhaustion.ย
his mind was riddled with one thought. you. always you.ย
he found you waiting by his truck.ย
you were perched on the hood, legs crossed at the ankle and his jersey sallowing your smaller frame. the fieldโs lights panted your skin and for a moment, he forgot how to breathe.ย
โwe won.โ he stated unnecessarily, duffel on his shoulder as he made his way to you.ย
you who was smiling softly, so unfairly pretty, it made his chest clench in appreciation.
his statement was blunt and obvious but you smiled anyway. soft and proud. entirely for him.ย
โi know,โ you replied amusedly, sliding off the hood, โyou were incredible.โ
and the word incredible had never meant much to him before you had said it.ย
sukuna wasnโt even sure he would make it to college a year ago but here he was. on a full ride scholarship and it was all because of you.ย
โwanna go for a drive, angel?โ his voice was deep and almost dazed as he placed his duffel in the backseat, eyes never leaving you.ย
you hummed with a small grin, โdonโt you have a frat party to get to?โย
sukuna shrugged gently, walking towards you as you crossed your arms, looking up at him with those eyes that continuously rendered him weak.ย
โthink mโright where i should be.โ with you. you. you.ย
your cheeks heated up as you smiled gently with a small nod, โwill you get me a coke?โย
sukuna smirked softly, patting your head as he nodded towards the passenger seat, shaking his head softly as you made your way there, โiโll get you whatever you want.โ
he drove without music, windows cracked just enough to let the cold bite. the night stretched quiet and endless, the kind of silence that resembled peace.ย
sukuna continuously glanced at you as you sipped your diet coke, quiet as you watched the moon outside, knees tucked up to your chest.
you made something in him tremble every single time he looked at you. you were something so fucking visceral to him, so embedded in his being that he couldnโt imagine him without you.ย
it wasnโt until he turned down a dirt road just outside the city, tires crunching until the world opened up into nothing but sky, that you spoke up.ย
โryo,โ you laughed gently, eyes gazing over the empty fields where the stars seemed much brighter, โwe havenโt been here in ages.โ
and it was true. the last time he had taken you here was the night after your high school graduation where you laid in the back of his truck for hours, eating the tiny bento cake with the small graduation cap that your mom had gotten you.ย
โfigured it was about time,โ he looked at you for a moment, โwanna sit in the back, angel?โ
with a small dimpled grin that made his heart stop, you hummed in agreement before exiting the car, him following.ย
sukuna braced himself on the metal and pulled himself up and onto the bed of the truck.ย
you gasped softly at the blankets and pillows laid out in the back, โyou planned this.โย
he ignored your words, holding his hand out for you like it was instinct. he pulled you up like you weighed nothing, heart fluttering as you giggled and laid on your back, letting out a loud sigh as you gazed at the sky.
sukuna laid beside you then, shoulders touching, staring up at the stars like they held the answers.ย
โi donโt know why graduation feels like a lifetime agoโฆโ you murmured gently, a soft sigh following as sukuna glanced at you, one arm under his head, the other limp beside yours.ย
โtimeโs flyinโ, huh?โย
his words had you sighing gently, shifting as you turned your head to gaze at the side of his, expression doe eyed and soft but fragile all the same.ย
โkinda scaryโฆโ your voice was low, even less than a whisper and sukuna immediately turned to meet your gaze. he hated whenever you sounded small, distressed or perturbed.ย
โwhat is?โย
your shrugged gently, face soft and eyes open, like even before expressing your concerns, you looked to him for comfort. always.ย
โi donโt knowโฆall of it,โ a small huff left your lips as you shook your head, gulping gently and he could tell that whatever was working your pretty mind was troubling you, โi donโt like not knowingโฆlike, the future and whatโs gonna happen. yโknow with everythingโฆwith me, with usโฆโ
sukuna immediately sat up on his elbows, watching you closely as your doe eyes grew a bit glassy and you looked up at him like he held all the answers.ย
he didnโt know either. he didnโt know what things will look like in a yearโs time or even tomorrow, but he didnโt have to know everything. because if there was one thing he was sure of, it was you. his constant.ย
โiโm one thing yโnever have to wonder about,โ his voice was rough and his brows furrowed as he looked down at you, your own eyes looking up at him expectantly, โmโhere, iโll always be here.โ
the stars blinked overhead like they were listening and your heart clenched gently with all the emotions you felt for him.ย
โyou promise, ryo?โ
his jaw clenched with effort, hand moving to rest on the top of your head, thumb caressing your temple with so much gentleness, it caused a shaky sigh to leave your lips.ย
โi promiseโฆโ a whisper left him, gut twisting with the emotion only you could pull out of him, โiโll always be where you are, brat.โ
and it was in the way he stated it like a fact, not a confession that had a blanket of warmth and reassurance cloud over you.ย
you were quick to offer a small smile before leaning up to wrap your arms around his neck and he was even quicker to pull you into him until your small frame was cradled against his chest, legs over his own as you sat on his lap.ย
one arm circled your waist as the other hand held your head, thumb stroking your hair as you softened against him.ย
"i promise, too."
his chest constricted with vehemence, eyes shutting as he inhaled the scent of your shampoo, light and clean.ย
something so incredibly you.ย
he wanted to say something else then. something permanent and dangerous.ย
instead, he looked up at the sky and let the moment pass.ย
โพ
the kettle whistled loudly, steam hissing and metal rattling until the sound cut through your quiet apartment sharp enough to make your shoulders flinch from your place on the couch.
โfuck-โ you hurried into the kitchen, hands fumbling as you twisted the burner off. the kettle rattled once more before settling, steam curling up towards the ceiling as you sighed.ย
you stared at it for a second too long.ย
your mug sat empty on the counter, tea bag string draped neatly over the trim, untouched. everything prepared and forgotten.ย
your fingers tightened around the handle as you poured the water, steam sloshing unevenly against the ceramic, a few drops splashing on the skin of your hand. you didnโt react.ย
youโd been zoning out more than usual lately, ever since the game a few days ago.ย
just small disappearances, losing minutes at a time, staring through windows, rereading the same sentence without absorbing a word. it was like your mind was out of balance.ย
you carried the mug of mint tea to the couch and sat back down, cradling the warmth between your palms. warm and grounding. you focused on that and not on the constant weight on your chest.ย
you were fine. it was okay.ย
you could hear the front door click open and your spine went a touch too straight. could it be-ย
โhey, girl.โ shoko voice permeated the space, tone careful like she was testing the weight of the words before letting it go.ย
utahime followed her in and you realized you had left the door unlocked last night because there was only one other person who had the key to your apartment besides you.
fuck, you were out of it.ย
both of them paused by the closed door, eyes flicking to you then around the apartment like they were stepping into a room where something fragile had shattered and no one was sure where the glass was.ย
you hated that look.ย
โhi!โ you greeted, a bit too quick, lifting your mug in a half-hearted gesture, โdonโt you guys have class?โ
shokoโs gaze dropped briefly to your bouncing leg and the untouched tea then back to your face.ย
โyeah,โ she said, forcing brightness into her voice, โprof cancelled, fucking miracle of the century.โย
utahime slipped off her coat, slower than usual as she watched you the way someone watches a storm that hasnโt decided if itโs coming or not.ย
you took a sip of your tea and immediately regretted it, the liquid burning your tongue but you swallowed anyway.ย
โhowโre you feeling?โ utahime questioned, gentle but firm as she took a seat on the armchair, shoko following as she sat down on the other end of the couch.ย
there it was, that stupid question.ย
you couldnโt answer, not really. because you didnโt know how to explain the feeling, the crushing and dreadful emotion thatโs been weighing on you since that night.ย
you couldnโt get it out of your head, sukunaโs face, your words, jeanโs bruise-
โmโfine.โ you stated firmly, smiling gently and so falsely, utahime almost wanted to roll her eyes.ย
โyou sure?โ she pressed, โbecause youโve been kind of out of it-โ
โiโm just tired.โ you huffed softly, a sound meant to pass as a laugh but didnโt. both girls narrowed their eyes on you, โiโve got a lot on my mind, okay?โ
your words left you sharper than you intended and both girls exchanged a glance, quick and loaded like they were walking on eggshells.ย
you could feel it in the way they spoke now, the way they watched your face for cracks. like if they moved wrong, youโd shatter.ย
you hated that too.ย
โiโm alright, seriouslyโฆโย
but you werenโt. you all knew it.ย
something was missing. not loudly or catastrophically, but wrong.ย
almost like walking into a room youโd lived in for years to find the furniture rearranged. just off.ย
since the night of the game, your days had lost itโs anchor.ย
you were used to him. you woke up expecting a text that never came. you fell asleep without knowing if he was okay. you walked across campus and kept turning your head, half convinced youโd see a familiar set of ruby eyes and tuft of pink locks paired with a familiar scowl moving towards you.ย
you never did.ย
the silence that was left behind was worse than any fight youโd ever had. because fighting meant he was still there, but thisโฆit felt final.ย
shoko shifted beside you, couch dipping slightly under her weight while utahime stayed where she was, watching and waiting.ย
โhave you eaten?โ utahime questioned lightly as you took a sip of the warm tea in your hands.ย
you simply hummed and they knew it was a lie. a small one, the kind you told without thinking.ย
you havenโt had an appetite either lately, you supposed when there was the feeling of a hole in your chest, hunger is your last concern.ย
utahimeโs eyes flicked briefly to the kitchen, the untouched bowl of fruit on the counter the same as a few days ago, when usually youโd have to restock it by now.ย
but she didnโt call you out on it, sighing softly instead, โyouโve been a bit quiet since the game.โ
โhave i?โ you hummed, lifting the mug again without taking a drink, โi feel the same.โ
that earned you a look.ย
shoko tilted her head at you, eyes gentle as she studied you, โi meanโฆitโs okay if you donโt.โ
โi know,โ you flashed a smile, โgood thing i am, though.โ
your leg bounced once, twice, then stilled when you noticed utahimeโs gaze drop to it.ย
ugh, you hated how much they knew you.ย
โyou donโt have to pretend.โ shoko softly stated and you almost flinched.ย
there was the crack in the conversation that you refused to fall into.ย
you inhaled slowly, attempting to steady yourself as you exhaled through your nose, โiโm not pretending.โ
the words came out calm, measured, almost convincing.ย
just okay. no argument or insisting words, no pressure.ย
somehow that was worse.ย
you stared ahead, eyes unfocused as your thoughts drifted despite your efforts to corral them. it was a quiet sort of torture as you wondered where sukuna was, what he was doing, who he was with.ย
iโm done. iโm so done, sukuna.
you exhaled gently as you practically shivered. were you?ย
a part of you hoped you meant it, that you were done putting yourself through all the bullshit sukuna pulls from the possessiveness to the simple way he acts like he has the biggest say in your life.ย
iโm done. i donโt wanna see you anymore.ย
your eyes shut forcefully, urging the look on sukunaโs face when you had said that out of your mind. your heart clenched, fists clenched around the mug and breaths trembling.ย
a bigger part of you, one you hated more than anything, knew that done wasnโt a word that could describe you and sukuna. maybe you had meant it at the time, maybe you even meant it now, but truthfully, it wasnโt your choice to make. it wasnโt even sukunaโs.ย
whatever lived between you wasnโt something either of you had chosen. it had simply grown, quietly and relentlessly, wrapping itself around your entire beings until it became something unavoidable. like gravity or a tide. like fate in itโs most unforgiving form.ย
you could walk away. you had walked away. but nothing about you and sukuna felt finished.ย
because what hurt the most wasnโt even what occurred at the game. it wasnโt the shouting or the punches thrown, not the way his anger had burned through the stands and scorched everything in itโs path. it wasnโt even the look on his face when you had spoken up, all raw and furious and shattered all at once.ย
it was before that.ย
it was the moment earlier that day when you had finally admitted it to yourself. when the thing you had kept buried for years slipped past the plush of your lips in a room that felt too small to hold it.ย
you were in love with ryomen sukuna. devastatingly and irreversibly so.ย
you had never let yourself speak it aloud, youโd always lived around it. in half truths and justifications, in loyalty disguised as habit.ย
naming it had made it real in a way nothing else ever had.ย
and since you spoke it, you couldnโt take it back and fuck, you couldnโt stop thinking about it.ย
your chest ached as the realization settled even deeper, heavier.ย
because loving ryomen sukuna wasnโt a phase you would outgrow or a mistake you could correct. it was something that threaded itself through your childhood, your adolescence and your adulthood.ย
it was in broken homes, bruised skin, fires and sleepless nights. it was in the way you knew him more than anyone ever will. it was in the way you had stayed up hoping heโd choose softness over fear.ย
you had loved him silently for so long that quiet had become second nature and now that the truth existed out loud, it felt like youโd lost something vital.ย
you pressed the mug to your lips once more, even though the tea was colder, even though it did nothing to soothe the ache beneath your ribs or mend whatever had broken inside you that night.ย
your breath shook, just once, before you forced it steady.
you werenโt mourning the argument.ย
you were mourning what could have been. the version of him that stayed. the version of you who didnโt feel like you had to walk away.ย
you knew whatever lived between you would never just end cleanly.ย
and no matter how much you ran from it, some part of you knew youโd always feel him. like a pull you couldnโt escape.ย
like fate that refused to loosen itโs grip.ย
โพ
it was eight in the morning when you heard a knock on your door.ย
you had woken up in the worst possible mood, your period was about to come and your cramps were already dreadful.ย
and the pounding on the door did nothing to soothe your irritation.ย
โmโcoming!โ you grumbled as you put down the hot water bottle you were preparing, hair still mussed from sleep, face puffy and a pout on your slightly swollen lips.ย
with a sigh and brows furrowed with annoyance, you pulled the door open for your eyes to meet a familiar pair of icy blue orbs. you scowled immediately.
โwhat the fuck dโyou want?โ
the grumble that left your lips caused satoruโs brows to raise with both amusement and surprise.ย
โnow i know why i never see you in the mornings.โ
you merely rolled your eyes, turning to walk back into your apartment, allowing satoru to step in and let the door close, following you into the kitchen as you began making your tea.ย
โhowโre you doinโ, princess?โ satoru questioned as he leaned against the counter, arms crossed , showcasing muscles that you knew girls drooled over.ย
you barely glanced at him as you poured the water into the kettle.ย
โmโfine.โ you simply mumbled because if someone else questioned your state, youโd lose it.ย
satoru simply hummed as he watched with observant eyes you couldnโt stand.ย
itโd been a full week since the game and you hadnโt seen sukuna since. it was the longest youโd ever gone without speaking.ย
itโs not like you were hoping heโd show up. well, not really. itโs just that you didnโt expect him to just let you end it all. you expected him to show up, fight you on it, be pissed and upset.ย
alas, nothing of the sort came.ย
and you did not want to address your sleepless nights or the constant ache in your chest and itโs possible relation to the situation.ย
the kettle clicked softly as it settled, steam rising in lazy spirals between you and satoru. the quiet stretched, thick and uncomfortable, until even you could feel it pressing in.ย
satoru was weirdly quiet, serious and it unnerved you. ย
satoru watched you over the counter, blue eyes unusually subdued.ย
gone was the usual cocky grin, the theatrics, the effortless charm he wore like armor.ย
he looked careful. like heโd rehearsed this moment and still didnโt know how to start.ย
โwhatโs going on, satoru?โ you questioned gently, abandoning your tea in favor of watching your friend visibly attempt to articulate his words in his head before speaking them aloud.ย
โsukunaโs missing.โ
your hands paused against the mug, just for a second but satoru caught it.ย
you looked down with a clearing of your throat as you occupied yourself with your tea once more.ย
โmissed a day of practice,โ he continued, voice casual in the way people get when theyโre trying not to scare someone, โthen two. then the whole week.โ
you resumed stirring, slow and methodical, like you werenโt even listening at all.ย
but he knew you were.ย
and you were. your heart thumped rapidly against your ribs, hands trembling the slightest bit at his admission.ย
โcoach is losing his mind,โ satoru added, softer now, โthreatening suspensions, benching, all that fun stuff.โ
still, you gave no indication that you had even heard him.ย
your tea bag string floated uselessly against the rim of the mug. you stared at it, jaw tight and heart doing that awful, familiar thing where it tried to claw its way up your throat.ย
โhe hasnโt been at the frat either,โ satoru went on, pushing gently, โroomโs untouched, phoneโs going straight to voicemail, we all tried him.โ
and your shoulders stiffened, spine straightening as you turned just slightly, doe eyes narrowing, โwhy are you telling me this?โ
satoru met your gaze evenly, no teasing or grin. utterly serious and equally concerned.ย
โbecause youโre you and youโre the only person heโs ever listened to.โ
you scoffed gently, turning back to your tea, โit has nothing to do with me, satoru. like i told him, iโm done.โ
satoru scoffed instantly, โit has everything to do with you. donโt-just donโt do that thing where you pretend you donโt matter to him. iโve seen that guy wreck himself over you since freshman year.โ
you swallowed tensely, wanting to speak up immediately but there was a lump in your throat. the kitchen felt smaller, tighter.ย
โhe didnโt even come to yell at meโฆโ you muttered, more to yourself than him and feeling so utterly stupid, โclearly, heโs fine.โ
satoru shook his head, โwe both know thatโs not true.โ
silence fell again, heavier and tenser this time.ย
you knew where sukuna was.ย
youโd known the second the days stretched on without a word, without a fight, without his presence looming somewhere on campus like a storm waiting to break. youโd known because you knew him. because there were only a few places he went when he needed to feel grounded and where you were wasnโt an option.ย
โiโm not asking you to forgive him, okay? he messed up, i know that..โ satoru state carefully, stepping closer but stopping short, like he knew better than to crowd you, โiโm just asking you to help us find him, get him back. the team needs him, alright?โ
you need him.ย
a cruel little voice added.ย
you pressed your lips together, blinking hard.ย
โi meant it when I said told him i was done.โ your words left you soft, quiet.ย
satoru studied you, something sgentle flickering in his gaze, โiโm sure you didโฆat the time.โย
the insinuation hung heavy between you and your eyes turned glassy.ย
maybe it was your period or the soft way satoru was looking at you, like the breakdown that occurs when people ask if youโre okay when youโre already on the verge of tears.ย
or maybe it was simply the weight of the entire week finally crushing you.ย
but you allowed a tear to fall, just once, just a little semblance of relief.ย
โhe wonโt listen to me.โ you sniffled softly, wiping your cheeks as satoru sighed gently, your name leaving his lips as a whisper.ย
โyouโre still you,โ your name left him once more, โheโll listen to no one else, even if heโs pissed.โ
something fractured inside you and you turned away before he could see it, sense it.ย
the way your eyes glassed even more, your chest tightened until breathing felt like work. your fingers curled around the mug, heat seeping into your skin like an anchor.
a long moment passed before you spoke again, willing your voice to remain steady.ย
โiโll get him back.โ
satoruโs shoulders loosened in visible relief, โyeah?โ
you nodded once.
you didnโt tell him where sukuna was or how you knew.ย
you didnโt tell him that the thought of seeing him again made your stomach twist.ย
fuck, youโd never learn how to leave sukuna alone.ย
โพ
โthank youโฆโ you murmured softly to the uber driver, shutting the door as he offered a nod.ย
you let out a sigh as you turned to face the large house, memories of summers spent alongside sukuna, yuji and their grandfather filling your vision.ย
you huffed gently, temples throbbing after a four hour train ride and a forty-five minute uber that cost you way too much.ย
but you had made it.ย
the house loomed ahead of you, all white shingles and wide windows. the kind of place that only ever felt alive in july.ย
now, it stood hollow and still, wrapped in winter silence, dunes dusted pale and the ocean beyond dark and quiet.ย
with a small sigh, you climbed the steps slowly, fingers numb from the cold and something heavier in your chest. you shivered as a gust of wind blew your hair around, freezing even with your jacket and scarf.ย
the code to the door was muscle memory, a set of numbers you knew by heart since you were younger.ย
you didnโt even think as you punched it in, the soft beep echoing as the lock clicked open, sounding far too loud in the quiet. you didnโt want to admit just how nervous you were.ย
what were you even going to say to him? what would he say back?
the door creaked when you pushed it in, warmth enveloping you as you allowed the door to shut, the interior smelling faintly of salt and something achingly familiar.ย
it felt wrong to be here without him greeting you, without him having been the one to drive you here.ย
you moved through the quiet, a chill traveling down your spine as your wide eyes studied the familiar space, shoes echoing against the hardwood.ย
the living room was untouched, furniture draped in white sheets, fireplace cold and framed photos still lining the mantle.ย
your fingers brushed over a familiar photo of you and sukuna at thirteen years old, all toothy grins and cold cokes in hand, your hair blowing and sukunaโs pink hair in a buzzcut. your heart squeezed fondly.ย
the photo beside it was you both at eighteen, sukunaโs hand on your hip, pulling you back against him, his chest to your back as you both smiled at the camera. his smirk soft and your grin pretty. all salty hair and tan skin.
โfocus.โ you whispered gently, ignoring your throat tightening.
you moved through the house slowly, quietly like you were afraid to wake something.ย
upstairs was empty, guest room untouched, his old room the same.ย
he wasnโt here.ย
your heart sank, dread blooming sharp and immediate.ย
with a small sigh, you opened the glass door that led to the beach and you quickly noticed it. the wind tore at your hair as you wrapped your coat tighter around yourself, eyes scanning the stretch of sand beyond the deck.ย
there he was, down by the waterline.ย
sukuna was barefoot, wearing nothing but a pair of dark shorts and a fleece jacket that did little to protect him from the cold. his skin was flushed, muscles tight and clenching as he sprinted across the sand, back and forth, burpees at the end of each short sprint. he pushed himself through brutal reps like he was trying to outrun something inside him.ย
you willed yourself to have some courage, pep-talk sounding in your mind as you urged yourself to not turn back. you moved forward despite the ache in your chest that only increased as he got closer.ย
the ocean roared behind him, waves crashing hard and relentless. the wind whipped his hair back from his face, pink locks damp with sweat and salt as his chest heaved, beanie on his head.ย
he looked feral, untethered. almost like he was punishing himself.ย
then he turned and your eyes met from a distance.ย
sukuna visibly froze, chest heaving as his eyes assessed you like they always did.ย
the moment stretched thin and fragile, like glass about to shatter.ย
sukunaโs chest rose sharply, breath hitching once before his jaw clenched hard. his eyes dragged over you slowly like he didnโt trust what he was seeing. like you might disappear if you blinked.ย
you didnโt move at first, neither did he.ย
the wind howled between you, carrying salt and cold and all the things youโd never said.ย
finally, with a small gulp, you forced your feet forward, shoes sinking into sand as you closed the distance. every step felt like the sand beneath you was quick sand, like you were walking to your doom.
you stopped a few feet from him and you wished you didnโt.ย
dark circles painted his under eyes, knuckles split raw and shoulders tense like he was bracing for impact.ย
your chest tightened painfully.ย
โyour friends are worried about you.โ you stated, firm and flat, like you hadnโt crossed four hours and a lifetime to stand in front of him, โyouโve missed a week of practice and coach is pissed.โ
his mouth twisted, scowl painting his features as his jaw clenched.ย
that familiar, bitter curl of his lip made something snap inside you.ย
โthat why you came all this way?โ he scoffed, voice sharp and cold as the wind against your face, โto play messenger?โ
you bristled immediately, โexcuse me?โย
he scoffed with a shake of his head, โfuckinโ wasting your time.โ
the anger that split through is one you havenโt felt in a while.ย
โlisten, asshole,โ you snapped, โyou donโt get to just disappear like that, not from your team when theyโre counting on you and not from yuji.โย
his eyes flashed, โyujiโs fine.โย
โbut you wouldnโt know that, sukuna, youโre not answering anyone!โ you shot back, anger bleeding through, โstop acting like a child! your friends need you, your team-โ
โand you?โ he cut you off, stepping closer, eyes blazing, โi donโt give a flyinโ fuck about them. what about you?โย
your name left his lips as his jaw clenched and you faltered for half a second.ย
you didnโt say anything and his expression hardened.ย
โfuckinโ go home, okay? i donโt want you here.โย
he turned around, turned away from you and with a small gasp, you snapped and moved forward.ย
โyou are such a little shit!โ you exclaimed as you gripped the fabric of his fleece, turning him around as your doe eyes turned glassy with rage, โafter everything you did, youโre pissed?! what right do you have, sukuna-โ
โyou fuckinโ walked away from me,โ he cut you off, voice low and dangerous as he pointed a finger at you, words smothered with something akin to pain, โtellin' me youโre done, that you donโt wanna see me again and now youโre here tellin' me what i owe everyone else?โย
your breath came sharp, gulping softly as you willed your tears not to fall.ย
the wind tugged at him, ocean thundering behind him and for a moment, it looked like he might say something devastating but instead, his jaw tightened.
โyou promised,โ your name left him roughly, โyou promised youโd never leave.โ
your heart cracked clean down the middle.ย
โi didnโt leave,โ you snapped as the tears fell against your efforts, tears of pure frustration and anger, โyou did this! you pushed me away-โ
โdonโt fuckinโ say that! i would never fuckin'-โ
โyou did! you did! you always-โ
โyou walked away!โ
โbecause you gave me no choice!โย
his eyes darted and the silence that followed was thick and trembling, stretched tight between two people who knew each other too well and not enough at all.
he laughed then, low and laced with bitterness.ย
โno choice?โ he repeated, tasting the words like something sour, โthatโs fuckinโ ridiculous, woman-โ
your chest burned, โyouโre a dick!โ
โand youโre a fuckinโ liar!โ he snapped, stepping closer once more, heat rolling off him despite the cold, โyou stood there and told me you were done, after fuckinโ everything weโve been through! you looked me in the eye and said you didnโt wanna see me anymore! me! what the fuck am i supposed to do with that?!โย
you swallowed hard, refusing to look away, โrespect it.โ
his eyes flickered, just for a second, like your words landed somewhere that hurt.ย
โrespect it?โ his voice lowered, anger cracking through but something even deeper following, โiโve spent my whole life making sure you were okay. iโve spent every single day since i was fucking twelve years old thinking about you, about keeping you safe, about showing up for you and the second i fuck up-โ
โyou didnโt just fuck up once!โ a choked sob left you, โyou do it all the time, sukuna! you wonโt let me live my fucking life and you wonโt even admit that maybe-โ
you stopped then. you swallowed the words and watched as his face twisted.ย
maybe you feel for me like i do for you. maybe thereโs a reason behind it all.ย
maybe. maybe. maybe.ย
โlook,โ you let out a breath, โi didnโt come here to fight with you.โ
โsure as hell feels like it.โ he breathed out as you shook your head.ย
โi came because i know you,โ you said softly, โand i know when youโre self-sabotaging. and whether you like it or not, people still need you and people are still counting on you.โย
his eyes softened just a fraction at that, barely noticeable but you noticed. you always did.ย
โyou donโt.โ he murmured quietly, watching you through his lashes.ย
your heart stuttered, โthatโs not true.โ
your eyes never left him, glassy but fierce as you remained firm with your words even through the bone-crushing hurt you felt.ย
โsukuna,โ you stepped forward, โthrough every fucking bruise and every stupid decision you made, even when you did everything in your power to push me away, to make me hate you, i stayed.โ
his eyes flickered with something, jaw clenching as his eyes coated with a sheen you hadnโt seen since you were younger. and he softened.ย
for the first time, it wasnโt you who caved, it was him. something gentle and regretful took over him and you let out a soft sob.ย
your chest ached, grief and frustration tangling until you couldnโt tell them apart.ย
โyouโre my best friend, sukunaโฆโ you breathed out, hands falling limp by your sides in utter defeat, โabove all else, you really are.โ
are. are. he allowed the word to ring through his head, soothing whatever had broken in him a while ago. ย
he stared at you like he was seeing you clearly for the first time, the wind tugging at him and goosebumps rising along his skin but he didnโt seem to notice at all.ย
โif i come back,โ he said slowly, carefully, โwhat then?โ
and you knew he wasnโt asking about the frat or the team. he was asking about you, about both of you. about whatever you had been nurturing since your younger years.ย
you hesitated and in that hesitation lived everything he was afraid of.ย
โthatโs not up to me,โ you stated finally, โiโm not promising you anything. i just need you to show up and stop running away. for yourself.โย
silence settled between you again, heavy and familiar.ย
then he sighed deeply, like a man whoโd been fighting himself for far too long.ย
โletโs go.โ he muttered, turning away toward the path leading up to the house.ย
your heart jumped, โwhat?โ
was he really listening to you?
โiโll drive us back in the morning,โ he stated gruffly, โitโs cold as balls and itโs gonna snow.โ
you stood frozen for a moment, shock but relief and something softer you wouldnโt name washing through you.ย
โyouโll come back?โ you questioned, almost afraid to hear the answer.ย
he paused, one hand gripping the strap of the duffel you hadnโt seen placed on the sand.ย
โtomorrow.โ he stated, avoiding your gaze as he began moving once more, โright now, iโm hungry and cold and youโre probably starving too.โ
you were. you never could eat if you were anxious about something.ย
you followed him into the house.ย
โพ
the house creaked softly as the heater kicked on, pipes rattling like they were waking up from a long sleep.ย
outside, the first snow of the season began to fall, light at first then steadier. you watched the flakes tap against the window like hesitant fingers.ย
you stood by the guest bedroom window, watching the snow fall slowly against the glass.ย
you had spent the better part of forty minutes in the shower, letting the water run hot until your skin felt warm again.ย
you found your things easily.ย
the guest room sukunaโs grandfather deemed as your own holding some of your things that youโd left over the years. soft cotton pajama youโd left behind that summer against your skin. your sheets still smelled faintly of sunscreen and salt, youโd have to change before you slept.ย
you moved towards the bathroom and completed your skincare, huffing as you looked for a hairbrush for your damp hair.ย
fuck, you didnโt leave one behind.ย
you groaned gently as you thought of any other solution that didnโt include asking sukuna.ย
you hesitated outside his room. the door was already slightly ajar, light spilling into the hall in a warm and low stripe. you told yourself youโd knock anyway. you didnโt.
you watched him, shirtless and only in a pair of grey boxers, move through the room, slow and methodical, like he had all the time in the world.ย
you gulped softly at the sight of his chiseled chest and arms, so devastatingly handsome. his pink locks were damp and clean, the feel of humidity and smell of sandalwood reaching you.ย
sukuna moved to stand in front of the mirror, back to you and towel tossed carelessly on the foot of his bed. he was digging through his drawers, muscles shifting under skin that bore too many stories.ย
his skin was littered with tattoos and scars alike. your heart clenched.ย
you pushed the door open just a little as watched him. then your head tilted, eyes catching on the ink on his hip bone, low and hidden. a tattoo youโd never seen before.ย
and you knew every single tattoo he had.ย
you squinted gently as you tried to catch the smallโฆletters?
as if in a trance, you slipped inside like a cat, quiet and slow as you moved towards the pink haired boy youโd known for a decade.ย
your eyes were still transfixed on the delicateย line of ink, almost out of place on him.ย
your breath caught so sharply, it hurt.ย
and when your foot hit a faulty place on the hardwood floor, the creak allowed sukuna to be aware of your presence, looking up immediately as he watched you through the mirror.ย
โwhatโre you-โ
it was the initial of your first name followed by a little anchor.ย
your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest, like itโd jump through your skin into his hands, where it had always belonged.ย
where you had placed it at twelve years old.ย
your fingers touched his skin before you could even realize that you had entered and sukuna tensed.ย
โdonโt-โ
a small gasp left your lips. there it was.ย
your initial with a tiny anchor. your eyes werenโt deceiving you.ย
a long few seconds passed before you glanced up to finally meet his gaze.ย
โwhen did you-โ you practically gasped out the words, gulping gently.ย
โafter the fire.โ his words were almost quiet and tears filled your eyes.ย
an anchor. his anchor.ย
your chest caved inward.ย
โfor me?โ you whispered, even though you already knew.ย
his laugh was breathless, bitter and soft, โwho else?โ
silence swallowed the room.ย
you felt like you were standing at the edge of something vast and dangerous and achingly familiar.ย
โi didnโt know ab-โ your voice broke, โyou never told me.โ
โdidnโt think i needed to.โ he finally met your gaze, hand moving to touch your wrist as your fingers still lightly pressed against the skin of his hip, โyouโre the reason iโm still here, i never hid that.โ
your name left him then, soft and definitive in a way you could barely stomach.ย
your hand fell away like youโd burned yourself.ย
sukunaโs eyes were dark, unreadable, searching your face like he was trying to memorize it all over again. as if it wasnโt all he saw and all he knew anyways.ย
you had no words for the overwhelming amount of emotions inside you, pushing and coming in waves as you tried to calm yourself.ย
you panicked then panicked even more, โi should go.โ
you went to turn when sukunaโs hand clasped over your wrist, โstay.โ
your eyes met his once more. the snow thickened outside, blanketing the house in quiet.ย
the air was thick between you as your eyes never left his, urging and quiet as your mind processed everything. everything from a week ago to now.ย
you didnโt remember moving. only that the space between you was suddenly gone.ย
it wasnโt romantic. there was no sharp inhale, no declaration and no moment where one of you decided anything.ย
it was simple.ย
one second you were standing there, hearts thundering loud enough to drown out everything and the next, you were against him.ย
you didnโt know who leaned in first, only that you were kissing ryomen sukuna.ย
your lips pressed against his in one motion, lips soft against his slightly chapped ones.ย
it was soft at first, unmoving as if you were both trying to register what was happening. hesitant in the way people are when theyโve wanted something for so long, theyโre afraid it might vanish if they move too fast.ย
then his hand came up, slow and reverent as his fingers slid into your damp hair like heโd memorized the weight of it in his dreams alone.ย
then it began.ย
a heavy groan left him and sounded against your lips as his other hand now slid into your hair, gripping and maneuvering your head to tilt and meet his lips deeper.ย
a low moan left you as your lips moved against his, his tongue brushing against your bottom lip, making you whimper gently.ย
your fingers pressed against his abdomen at the same moment his fingers tightened in your hair, grounding and trembling. the world narrowed down to the warmth between you, snow pressing softly against the windows.ย
everything youโd never said lived in that kiss.ย
every night youโd stayed.ย
every time heโd pulled back.ย
every stupid ounce of hope youโd held onto like a life raft.
then reality crashed in.ย
you were kissing ryomen sukuna. your ryomen sukuna.ย
you pulled away with a gasp, breaths uneven and doe eyes wide as you stared at him like youโd just crossed a line you couldnโt uncross.ย
โoh my godโฆโ you whispered gently, chest heaving as your mind ran with thoughts you wanted to quiet. ones you didnโt want to face.ย
sukuna didnโt move.ย
his lips were swollen, chest heaving and eyes locked on yours like he was afraid to blink. like if he did, youโd disappear.
then his hands tightened against your hair, one moving down to your back and just like that, he was pulling you against him, rough and desperate, like his restraint had finally snapped.ย
years and years of waiting and hoping poured into that kiss.ย
his lips moved feverishly against yours, fast and desperate as you tried to keep up, lips wet from his own ministrations.ย
he groaned against you, tongue parting your lips and colliding with your own.ย
you whimpered against him as his hands moved to your thighs. he leaned down and you needed no more direction. his big hands gripped the plush of your thighs as he pulled you up against him, your legs wrapped around his hips as his hands travelled up and down your body, resting on the plush of your ass.ย
his mouth was crashing against yours with hunger, over and over again, groans and moans leaving both your lips. the kiss was messy, teeth knocking and breathing shared too fast. years of denial and need burned white hot.ย
your hand found the nape of his neck, the other tugging at his pink locks as his growl vibrated against your lips, low and broken, and you felt it everywhere. ย
โfuck, fuckโฆโ sukuna murmured against you, his first words since the beginning of your kiss. he had so much to say but saying something meant pulling away and he couldnโt.ย
physically and mentally, he couldnโt. pulling away wasnโt an option, not when heโd wanted this for so long, his chest ached.ย
โkunaโฆโ you whispered against his lips as sukuna groaned, allowing you to catch your breath as his lips left hot and wet kisses down the skin of your jaw, your neck, your collarbones then back up.ย
โlook at meโฆโ he demanded, low and so him, you felt your entire body react.ย
you complied, doe eyes gazing up at him through your lashes, half-lidded and absolutely gone.
his eyes almost rolled to the back of his head with need, hands moving up to grip your cheeks, his touch a gentle contrast to the desperation in his movements.ย
he couldnโt take it anymore, moving again as his lips met yours, his boxers significantly tightening and his chest burned with need.ย
his legs moved before his mind could catch up, adamant to not pull away from you as you met his desperation head-on.ย
your tongue swiped against his lip then your teeth sunk into the swell as he groaned lewdly.ย
โfuck, baby, youโre killing me.โ he groaned as his knees hit the edge of the bed causing you to drop against the plush of the mattress, chest heaving as you watched him. he stood by the end of the bed, all muscle and need.ย
for years, heโd dreamed of this exact moment. for years, you'd hoped heโd see you the way you saw him.ย
memories and history so deep between you both. wanting, hoping, dreaming and everything in between.ย
โpleaseโฆโ your words were breathless as you spoke, practically teary as you tilted your head, resting back on your elbows to gaze up at him. โryoโฆโย
he was fucking gone for you, so deeply infatuated, he could barely see straight.ย
he was atop you again, eyes on yours as his breath tickled your lips.ย
โwhat do you want, angel?โ he whispered against you as you moaned gently, hips bucking to meet his, โiโll give you anything you want, you just gotta tell me.โย
a huff left your lips. fuck, you were out of it.ย
sukuna pressed wet kisses against your swollen lips, small pecks as he urged you to speak.ย
your hands moved to grip his cheeks, pulling him in fully as you deepened the kiss once more.ย
sukuna allowed it for a moment, two before pulling back.ย
โnah, babyโฆโ he murmured against you as you breathed against him, โiโve dreamed of this for too long for you not to tell me you want meโฆโ
you whined against his lips, nose brushing against his as he smirked against you.ย
โfuck, youโre everything, youโre fucking it for me,โ he pecked your lips once, twice, three times before forcing himself away, โtell me you want me, brat. tell me you want me like i fuckinโ want you.โ
you shook your head against his as he immediately nodded, โyeah, tell me, baby. cmon, use your words and iโll give you anything you want, you know i will, i always do.โย
it was a moment suspended in time, a moment where the rush and need and desperation slowed.ย
for just a moment, your eyes met sukunaโs, wide and a little unsure.ย
a moment where youโd finally realized what was happening, where it had dawned on you that you were kissing your ryo.ย
the boy youโd known most of your life. the boy youโd felt for since you were a teenager.ย
and sukuna was absolutely insatiable. this had to be what it feels like getting everything youโd wished for.ย
you felt like a dream.ย
his forehead dipped to yours, breath hot and uneven, nose brushing your own like he was grounding himself.ย
as if he was afraid youโd vanish if he didnโt stay close enough.ย
you felt it then, you swore you did.
not just how badly he wanted you but how long he had.ย
your fingers tremble where they rested against his chest, right over his heart.ย
โwant you, ryoโฆโย
his eyes darkened a fraction, hands tightening against you and his nostrils flared.ย
fuck fuck fuck.ย
he devoured you then, not rushed or frantic. but like heโd finally stopped holding himself back, like heโd finally accepted that this was real and wasnโt a fucked up figment of his deepest dreams and desires.ย
this was you. his you. wanting him just as much as he wanted you.ย
and he felt every restraint heโd ever built around you crumbling all at once.ย
his hands found you with certainty, palms warm and grounding against your cheeks as his lips moved with intention. your breath tangled with his, fingers clutching at bare skin, at familiarity, at something that felt inevitable in the most terrifying way.ย
years collapsed between heartbeats.ย
you pulled away to haphazardly take your cotton tank top off, allowing the fabric to collect on the floor.ย
his eyes darted to your breasts as you gulped gently.ย
โfuckโฆโ it seemed to be the only thing he could say as he peppered kisses down the bare skin of your flushed neck to the skin of your collarbones to the tops of your breasts before looking up at you through his lashes, โprettiest fuckinโ thing iโve ever seenโฆโย
you moaned softly, fingers tangling against his pink locks as you tugged him up once more to meet your lips.ย
his hand descended down and further down, thumb now caressing your hipbone and when you bucked, he slipped his hands into your soft shorts and you gasped.ย
โryoโฆโ
โi know, baby, lemme feel youโฆโ his other hand pulled your shorts down and they met your shirt on the floor.
you gasped against him as you felt his fingers touch you where no one ever had before.ย
โk-kuna, i-โive never-โ you whispered against him, almost frantic and he moved to pepper kisses against your face.ย
โshh, i know, babyโฆโ you fingers continued their ministrations, gentler maybe but still overwhelming as you watched him with glassy doe eyes, โitโs just me, yeah?โย
you nodded against him as his fingers brushed your most sensitive spot, watching with eyes so dark as your head fell back against the pillows, so utterly overwhelmed in the best way possible.ย
โfeel good, baby?โ his voice was low, deep and dark. he was practically buzzing with need, trembling to finally feel you but he knew he had to go slow.ย
โfeels r-really good, kunaโฆโย
his eyes shut tight, your mere voice almost pushing him over the edge.ย
fuck fuck fuck.ย
sukuna was absolutely gone, he was gone.ย
he groaned against you over and over as he continued to touch and prod and push, his mere touch sending you over the edge, trembling and whimpering against him.ย
โyou okay, baby?โ his hand, still wet, caressed the skin of your side as you tried to catch your breath.ย
โmhmm.โ you simply hummed, eyes shut and so insanely pretty, it had his heart clenching.ย
โnever touched yourself, brat?โ his voice was soft, almost coaxing as you kept your eyes shut but heat found its way to your cheeks and he knew the answer. something animalistic in him snapped then.
fuck, he loved that he was the only one whoโd made you feel this way.ย
โmโtired, ryoโฆโ you murmured against him as he kissed you repeatedly, soft kisses that had your heart fluttering, kisses you didnโt think ryomen sukuna was capable of.ย
he chuckled against you, low and deep as he kissed your cheek softly, your eyes still shut and breathing slowing more and more.ย
he couldnโt even blame you.ย
he continued to touch you softly, caressing your skin to coax you to sleep, lips never leaving your face for more than a second as he littered soft kisses against you.ย
and later, much later, the house was silent except for the wind rattling against the windows and low, steady sounds of your breathing against his chest.ย
you lay tangled together, warmth pressed to warmth, his arm heavy around your back, moving uo and down your spine like an anchor. somehow, you had laid fully atop him, one leg tangled against his own while the other hooked uno and around his hip. he didnโt mind. not even a little.ย
he couldnโt sleep, fingers absentmindedly tracing the same familiar patterns along your soft skin heโd traced a hundred time before, only now, there was nothing between you at all.ย
sleep took him gently then and he reluctantly succumbed. he didnโt want to face tomorrow or your possible regret. he didnโt want this to be a blip in your relationship.ย
he wouldnโt let it be. not again.ย
โพ
โdonโt! donโt go, please!โย
sukuna kept walking, quick and heavy, down the sidewak, ignoring your pleading. off to god knows where.ย
โsukuna! ryo, please-โ
he spun around to face you then, eyes wild and frantic and so utterly broken.ย
wide with pain heโd known for far too long.ย
โi canโt! i canโt stay, fuck, goddamnit, i canโt do it anymore!โ his foot kicked against a tree.ย
you let out a sob, you had already been crying, face flush with tears, cheeks hot and eyes bloodshot.ย
โy-you have to! you have to, ryo-โย
sukuna scoffed then, hands moving to his hair, gripping and harshly pulling till his scalp pricked with pain that amounted to nothing compared to what he was used to at a mere sixteen years old.ย
โfuck that shit! i canโt fuckinโ take it anymore!โ he practically yelled then, tears pricking his eyes as he watched you fall apart. his chest clenched with so much emotion, he thought heโd die right there.ย
you sobbed and sobbed, moving forward to grip his sweater, as if your touch alone would keep him here. with you.ย
your eyes caught his own, the skin around blue and black causing your chest to cave in.ย
โi know, i know, ryo-โย
โyou donโt know shit!โ your name left him with anguish, not angry, not even bitter, but utterly devastated. โyโdonโt knowโฆyโdonโt know what itโs likeโฆโ
and you didnโt. you knew you didnโt. you didnโt know what itโs like to wake up and go to sleep in a home where the walls continuously closed in. where silence felt safer than sound, where pain met you at every corner.ย
but fuck, if you didnโt try to help. if you didnโt try to take some of that pain away.ย he had to know that.
his chest heaved as he looked down at you, shaking his head as your tears fell with each breath.ย
โw-what about yuji?โ you sobbed against him, eyes looking up at him with so much sorrow, โwhat about me?โย
he let out a choked sob then, โwhat about me?! what about me?!โย
he snapped, your name leaving his lips as a cry.ย
you paused then. what about him?ย
your fingers loosened against his sweater as you watched him sob, tears of utter heartache leaving him like shallow breaths.ย
โwhat about me?โ he breathed out finally as you took a step back, cries dying down like youโd been hit by a truck.ย
the tears fell without sound as you gazed upon your pink haired friend, the broken boy who youโd tried to make whole with every piece of you.ย
with a small nod, your hands clenched at your sides, gazing down in surrender.ย
sukuna was taken aback by your dejection, by your acceptance of his leaving.ย
he should be grateful and maybe he was.ย
but there was something that overpowered any semblance of relief in him.ย
the thought of leaving you.ย
he couldnโt, could he?ย
his eyes met your own, chest heaving with effort as your doe eyes watched him, heartbreak painting your pretty features.ย
your eyes watched him like youโd already grieved him. like youโd buried what youโd had because it was too painful to think about.ย
โokayโฆโ the word left your lips, barely classifying as a whisper if he wasnโt so in tune with you.ย
he gulped softly, eyes assessing you like this was some sick joke and youโd call the cops to find him as soon as he left. โgo, kuna. i wonโt stop you.โย
his head tilted, heart thundering and breaking all at once. it was some twisted fate, he was sure.ย
he wondered what itโd be like in another life.ย
if he wasnโt such a charity case, if he wasnโt a broken mess. would he be good enough then?ย
would he be worthy enough?ย
memories flashed like some sick film, of you and him. of you.ย
his constant. his anchor.ย
he let out a sob as the thought of leaving actually dawned on him and you watched him break.ย
but he had to. he wanted to.ย
right?ย
as if a switch flipped, he forced himself to breathe, to calm down and he stopped crying.ย
his eyes were still bloodshot, he was still trembling but he willed himself steady.ย
sukuna nodded once, eyes meeting yours once more and he felt something crawl up his throat again.ย
fuck, he hoped he wouldnโt ever forget your eyes. if he would lose all his memories, if heโd never remember a thing from his miserable goddamn life, please, let him not forget your eyes. or your voice.ย
as a soft sob left your lips, you watched him turn, eyes never leaving his back as he walked away, your heart fracturing more and more with every step.ย
then he stopped.ย
your breath hitched as he turned around once more, jaw clenched as he watched you from further away. had he changed his mind?ย
please please please.ย
he moved towards you then, steps quick as he stopped before you, your eyes gazing up at him with that same damn hope he thought heโd killed a long time ago.ย
โtake care of yuji, yeah?โ your heart broke as you bit your lip to hold in a sob, nodding nonetheless, โtell him i loved him, okay?โย
a sob left you then as you nodded frantically, pleads at the tip of your tongue once more.ย
sukuna nodded at your agreement, eyes glassy with tears that would fall as soon as he turned.ย
he leaned down and kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek.ย
โtell yourself i loved you most, brat.โย
it was a whisper against your ear.ย
and your heart had split in two.ย
you barely registered the soft kiss against your lips, quick, as if he himself didnโt think before doing it.ย
your first kiss.
you didnโt even see his face properly before heโd already turned around and walked away.ย
and heโd left you standing there, hand to your chest where your heart thumped but split in half.ย
and heโd regret that night for the rest of his life.ย
โพ
ahhh this one was super packed + sad, lowk need to write for the gojo series now for a break ๐๐
also omg sukuna and reader are so ribs coded it makes me sick lowk (kinda wanna make a playlist for them)
i hope u guys liked it, pls lmk what u thinkkkk as always!!!
NOTE: here I am feeding my hungry children who yearn for farmer Sukuna.
That night, after the house finally went quiet, you found him sitting on the edge of the bed, broad back turned toward you as he tugged his work shirt over his head. The fabric peeled away slowly, revealing skin still warm from the dayโs heat and muscles that shifted with every small movement.
He froze when he noticed you watching.
โWhat?โ he muttered, tossing the shirt aside.
You leaned against the doorframe, arms folded loosely.
โYouโve been acting weird since earlier.โ
โI havenโt.โ
โYou have.โ
He grunted, clearly aware heโd been caught, but too stubborn to admit it. The mattress dipped as you climbed onto the bed behind him, your fingers brushing lightly across his shoulder blades.
The reaction was immediate. His entire body tensed, breath catching as your nails traced the faint scars scattered across his back, little reminders of years spent working harder than anyone else.
โYou do that on purpose,โ he rasped.
โDo what?โ
โYou touch me like that and then pretend you donโt know what youโre doing.โ
You smiled against his skin, pressing yourself closer.
โMaybe I just like how you react.โ
Sukuna huffed, but his hand came up to catch your wrist, calloused fingers wrapping around it as he pulled you around to face him. His gaze dropped to your lips for just a moment before he forced himself to meet your eyes.
โYou said maybe,โ he said quietly. โEarlier.โ
Your heart fluttered.
โAbout a baby.โ
His voice was rough, uncertain in a way that didnโt match the intimidating farmer everyone else knew. It was just Sukuna now, your husband, the man who gets flustered when you kiss his cheek in public.
You nodded slowly. โI mean it.โ
Something in his expression softened so deeply it almost hurt to look at. He reached up, cupping your face with one large hand, thumb brushing your cheekbone with surprising gentleness.
โโฆThen we shouldnโt waste time,โ he murmured.
Heat rushed up your neck.
โSukuna-โ
He kissed you before you could finish, the motion clumsy at first, but was soon replaced with unyielding hunger. His lips were warm and a little rough, but the way he held you, like prey, made your stomach flip.
You giggled softly when his nose bumped yours.
He scowled. โDonโt laugh.โ
โIโm not laughing at you,โ you whispered, leaning in again. โYouโre justโฆvery serious about this.โ
โIโm serious about everything that involves you.โ
The words hung between you, heavy and honest.
This time when he kissed you, there was nothing clumsy about it. His hand slid down to your waist, pulling you onto his lap like you weighed nothing. The mattress creaked under the sudden shift, and you squeaked in surprise, gripping his shoulders to steady yourself.
โCareful,โ you murmured, though you made no move to get off.
His breath fanned across your collarbone as he nuzzled closer, voice low. โYou said you wanted one.โ
Your face burned.
โโฆYouโre impossible.โ
โAnd you married me anyway.โ
You couldnโt argue with that, even when he has you with your legs resting on his shoulders, and the fat head of his cock lined up, nudging at your entrance.
Your mouth opens in a quiet scream as he sinks in, his thrust looong and slow.
โThatโs itโgot you right where I want yaโฆโ He grumbles into your ankle, giving it small kisses in between.
His slow and sensuous rhythm didn't last long, and soon he was going at a violent pace. The lewd sounding wet plaps of your skin meeting each other bounced off the walls of the room.
Your hair and everything else is a tangled mess of pleasure and sweat.
โK-kunaโฆslow down-โ He was fucking you stupid.
He ignored your plea and flipped you up, straddling him. โCanโt mama, gotta do my husband duties right?โ From his position looking up at your trembling form, he wrapped his hands around your waist, the same hands you can't help but imagine holding a small baby one day, your baby. Maybe five or six, however many Sukuna will let you have.
Sukuna groans and tightens his grip, bringing you back to reality from your daydream. โYour pussyโs tightening too much, relax baby you might snap my dick in half.โ
โOhโฆmโsorryโ
โShhโฆjusโ let me do all the work, you just sit there and take it hm?โ
He starts snapping his hips up, while his hold around you works hard to bring you down. Heโs hitting the spongey spot inside you, making your eyes roll back.
His grunts donโt stop, and neither do his thrusts. โCanโt quit early wife, gotta make sure you milk me dry.โ
You whine at his words, and by the end of multiple sessions your cunny is brimming with his cum, and your legs tremble closed trying to keep it all from flowing out. Although his fat finger that was constantly pushing the mix of fluids back in was doing a better job.
โ
The days that followed were filled with stolen glances, lingering touches, and quiet moments that felt charged with a new kind of anticipation.
Sukuna started coming inside earlier from the fields, claiming he needed to โcheck on things in the house,โ though you both knew the chores could wait. Heโd corner you in the kitchen while you were washing dishes, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and pressing his face into your neck like he needed the contact just to get through the day.
Toji noticed, of course.
โYou look tired,โ he drawled one evening, eyeing Sukunaโs slightly disheveled appearance. โNot sleeping well?โ
Sukuna choked on his drink while you nearly dropped the serving spoon.
Yuji blinked between you both, completely oblivious.
โUncle, your face is red.โ
โItโs the heat sโall,โ Sukuna snapped, even though the sun had already set.
โ
One afternoon, while the boys were down by the creek and Toji had gone back to his own property, you found Sukuna in the barn stacking feed bags.
Dust floated through the slanted sunlight, settling over his hair and shoulders. He looked up when you stepped inside, eyes softening immediately at the sight of you.
โYou shouldnโt be in here love,โ he said automatically. โItโs dirty, you're gonna get dust in your eyes.โ
You ignored him, walking straight up and tugging lightly on the front of his shirt.
โYou said we shouldnโt waste time,โ you reminded him shyly.
His breath hitched.
The barn was quiet except for the distant buzz of insects and the faint rustle of hay. Sukuna stared down at you for a long moment, like he was trying to memorize every detail of your face.
โโฆYouโre going to be the death of me,โ he muttered.
โProbably,โ you agreed sweetly.
He groaned softly before pulling you into him, large hands settling on your hips as he lifted you onto a nearby bale of hay. The motion was practiced, years of farm work making you feel featherlight in his grasp.
The world outside seemed to fade away, replaced by the warm scent of straw and the steady thud of his heartbeat under your palm as he lifted your dress over your waist and saw the sweet sticky mess he left inside of you that morning.
โWomen, you'll kill me one day.โ He groaned into the kiss.
โW-what do youโฆmhโฆmean?โ You say back, feverishly kissing him.
โNothinโ just spread those legs nice and wide for me yeah?โ
The harvest season was still weeks away, but already, something new was beginning to grow. If the fucking marathon wasnโt enough to insinuate that.
NOTE: Iโm so down bad for this man ๐ just gimme one day alone with him fr. This is just something short lol lmk if you guys want more details of our lovely couple.
The first thing everyone in town noticed after Sukuna got married was that he smiled now.
Not the usual crooked, sharp grin he used when bargaining with suppliers or scaring off competitors. It morphed into something warmer, into something only a loving husband could have. A quiet curl of his lips that only really showed itself when you were nearby, tucked into the crook of his arm or trailing behind him in the marketplace with a basket hooked over your elbow.
Ryomen Sukuna had always been a big manโbroad shoulders carved from years of hauling crates, forearms corded with muscle from tilling soil and hauling irrigation pipes under the summer sun. Ever since boyhood all heโs known is the growing ache of his muscles. His presence alone could silence a rowdy bar. Kids used to scatter when they saw him walking down the road.
Now they stared instead, whispering and giggling as he slowed his long strides just to match yours.
โYou donโt need to carry that,โ he muttered one afternoon, already reaching for the basket of fresh peaches youโd insisted on holding.
โI can carry fruit, Sukuna,โ you huffed, trying to keep your grip. โIโm not made of glass.โ
He pried the basket from your hands anyway, fingers brushing your knuckles. The moment your skin touched, his ears went faintly pink, and he cleared his throat, suddenly fascinated by a cloud in the distance.
โPlease hun.โ he whispered. With his silent plea, how could you not relent the basket to him
The shopkeeper behind the stall snorted.
โHoneymoon phaseโs hitting you hard, Sukuna.โ
Sukuna glared, but his hand slipped around yours as you walked away, calloused thumb rubbing slow circles into your palm.
โ
Back at the farm, the air smelled of the familiar scent of the warm earth and ripening tomatoes. Rows of green stretched as far as you could see, leaves fluttering lazily in the breeze. Sukunaโs land was the pride of the region, everyone knew his produce was the best, plumper and sweeter than anything grown in neighboring towns. Restaurants fought over his deliveries, and caterers practically begged for his strawberries and herbs whenever it was in season.
He never bragged about it, the demand just seemed to make him work harder.
Especially now.
You found him in the fields most mornings before sunrise, white shirt already damp with sweat, muscles flexing as he hoisted crates onto the back of his truck. The first time youโd come out in your sleep set, wearing your fuzzy slipper, rubbing your eyes and offering him a thermos of tea, heโd nearly dropped a box of cucumbers on his foot.
โYou shouldnโt be out here hun,โ heโd grumbled, eyes refusing to meet the bare stretch of your legs. โYouโll catch a chill.โ His arms wrap around your waist while his other hand wipes his forehead with the towel around his shoulder.
โItโs summer,โ you laughed, pressing the thermos into his hands. โAnd I wanted to see you before you left.โ
Heโd stared at you like youโd just confessed something life-changing, then reached out awkwardly, thumb brushing the inside of your wrist.
Youโd barely grazed his skin.
Heโd gone still completely, utterly still before melting like butter in the sun, shoulders relaxing, expression softening in a way you were starting to realize only you ever saw.
โ
By midsummer, your quiet farm had become lively in a way it never had before.
Toji Fushiguro, your closest neighbor, had taken to dropping by in the evenings with his wife and their three-year-old son, Megumi. Toji was one of the few men whoโd never been intimidated by Sukuna; he leaned against your porch railing like he owned the place, sipping beer and smirking while the two of them argued over crop prices and weather forecasts.
Megumi toddled after you constantly, small fingers clinging to the hem of your dress.
โโKunaโs scary,โ he whispered once, peeking around your leg as Sukuna stomped in from the fields, boots caked with dirt.
Sukuna froze mid-step, clearly having heard him.
You crouched, gently guiding Megumiโs little hand toward Sukunaโs.
โHeโs only scary to people who steal his pumpkins.โ
Megumi blinked up at Sukuna, then pressed his tiny palm against Sukunaโs huge one.
Sukunaโs entire face went blank, completely unreadable. Then, slowly, carefully, he closed his fingers just enough to hold the childโs hand without crushing it.
Toji nearly choked on his drink laughing.
โ
The real chaos arrived when his nephews came to stay for the summer.
Yuji burst through the front door like a hurricane, all sunshine smiles and loud greetings, immediately hugging you. Choso followed behind, a quieter boy but equally affectionate, offering to help with anything around the house or fields.
Within days, the farm was filled with shouting, running feet, and the sound of boys arguing over who got the last slice of watermelon.
Youโd be lying if you said it didnโt make your heart ache a little, in a wonderful way.
One afternoon, you stood on the porch watching Yuji chase Megumi through the yard while Choso set up a crooked sprinkler that sprayed water in uneven arcs. Their laughter carried across the fields, bright and infectious.
Sukuna stepped up behind you, a glass of cold lemonade in his hand. His shadow swallowed yours where it fell across the wooden boards.
โYouโre staring too much,โ he said gruffly, offering you the drink.
โTheyโre cute,โ you replied, resting your shoulder against his arm. โYour family is so loud.โ
โTheyโre pests,โ he muttered, but there was no real bite to it.
You watched Yuji scoop Megumi up, spinning him until both of them collapsed into the grass, giggling.
โโฆIt feels nice, though,โ you added softly.
Sukuna went quiet.
His fingers twitched at his side, then lifted, hesitating before settling on your lower back. The touch was careful, almost shy, for someone who could lift a hay bale like it weighed nothing.
โโฆYou want one?โ he asked suddenly, voice rougher than usual.
You blinked, turning your head to look at him. โOne what?โ
He gestured vaguely with his nose towards the yard, ears turning red.
โA kid. One of our own.โ
Your heart skipped.
You hadnโt expected him to say it so bluntly, but this was Sukuna after all, a man who struggled to say โI love youโ without looking like heโd swallowed a rock.
โYouโd be a scary dad,โ you teased gently.
He scoffed. โIโd be a great dad.โ
โYouโd intimidate their friends. Goodness knows what youโd do if we ever have a baby girlโ
โThey shouldnโt be weak enough to get scared by a glare.โ
You laughed, and the sound seemed to soften something in his chest. His arm slid around your waist more confidently now, pulling you closer until your back pressed against his front.
โโฆIf you want one,โ he repeated more quietly, lips near your ear, โwe can try, itโs not like we already arenโt.โ
Heat rushed to your cheeks.
Down in the yard, Yuji shouted as the sprinkler tipped over and soaked him entirely, Megumi squealing in delight, his earlier efforts of trying to not wet his new shorts forgotten. Choso groaned and chased after them with a towel.
You leaned back into Sukuna, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt.
โโฆMaybe we should,โ you murmured.
Sukunaโs breath hitched.
The toughest farmer in three counties, feared by suppliers and admired by chefs, nearly dropped the sweating glass of lemonade in his hand.
Then he buried his face in your hair, arms tightening around you like you were something fragile and precious and entirely his.
โGood,โ he muttered, voice thick. โReal good.โ
And out in the fields, under the wide summer sky, the crops swayed gently in the breeze, fat and thriving, just like everything Sukuna had built for the life the two of you were growing together, and soon the big house will feel much smaller with more bodies.