maybe you should have thought twice before randomly calling your ex-husband to say goodnight but on your discovery that your ex!husband sukuna still has feelings for you, you feel that maybe this could be the chance it could work out.
or
ex-husband sukuna and reader who still pine for each other but are stupid and stubborn
tags: fem!reader, no use of y/n, divorced parents, yuji child of divorce, mutual pining but they both deny, awkward middle aged sukuna, angst, domestic fluff, eventual smut, cw: depression, both sukuna and reader have an attitude, sukuna is an asshole, more tags to be added soon
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
I think heian era sukuna would be upset if you didn’t eat with him / not being on time to eat with him. for years he’s been used to dining alone but when you make an appearance in his life, eating dinner with you is a way to show his quality time.
I think he’d huff and puff if you weren’t on time to dinner and you’d learn to be punctual. when you have no appetite or don’t feel like eating he’ll eat for himself but for the next two days he will complain about you.
“you’re tired? tch, that’s because you did not dine yesterday.”
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
a note from angel: thank you so much for being so patient whilst i get this part out, thank you so much for all the support and i hope you enjoy! this is mainly sukuna's pov of what happened in part three, their...reunion will happen in part five. pls guess what ateez song i just mentioned for a kith, i realised this song sums up their relationship so bad lmao. enjoy!
The second his phone started to ring he froze.
This was the call he's been waiting for all night and now suddenly it feels like every muscle in his body has tightened. His chest feels heavy and for a second it hurts to breathe. It's stupid, I mean he was the one who advised you to call him.
And it all slipped out so naturally, he wasn't even fully aware of what he was saying. "you know...you can call me whenever you want and i'll pick up. whenever. i mean you know this."
Sukuna's not the type to think before he speaks, anything he says is his immediate thoughts. He doesn't sugarcoat it and if there's something he wants to say then he'll say it. But he's learned the grave consequences of saying things around you so bluntly and harshly, unaware that his words struck hard for a sensitive person like you.
Nonetheless, he did really mean it when he said you could call him whenever.
He just didn't know if you would believe that he actually meant it.
There were many things within your previous marriage that Sukuna would say but didn't mean. Like the times he was coming home late, like the times that he told you it was fine when you cancelled on date nights when it really wasn't, like the times that he told you that everything was going to be alright when even he didn't believe it himself.
And at one point he didn't mean 'I love you.'
He rarely said it anyways, back then much preferring to show you physically rather than to say those three words out loud. Perhaps that also tied into the reasons for divorce.
But for the first time in a long time, you believed him. And granted you were drunk and Sukuna is well aware that this outcome may have been different if you had gotten home sober that night but nonetheless he's glad you called.
He waited a bit before picking up the phone. The last thing he needs is to seem desperate and pathetic.
(As if he hasn't seemed that way already by suggesting to call him anytime.)
But Yuji's away in his room, playing one of his video games so Sukuna is sure he won't be disturbed talking to you and there's a part of him that wants to talk to you for as long as possible. He misses hearing your voice. He misses hearing all of the little things; how your day has been, who's been pissing you off at work, how the nosy neighbour that lives across from you is doing and so much more he thinks these questions would be endless.
His default ringtone continues to call out. Until he finally bites the bullet and picks up.
Just from the tone of your voice he already knows that you've had a few drinks. There's a contagious energy to your voice that he knows only alcohol can bring out of you and a part of him wonders what you and the girls have talked about tonight.
He doesn't want to get too ahead of himself but if the first thing you're doing after heading home is calling him, then Sukuna's safe to assume that he was surely the topic of conversation at one point.
You claim that you were just calling to check on Yuji and Sukuna's more than capable of passing the phone over to him but he goes for his selfish instinct.
"Just missed him. He's sleeping." And when he baits you out for still being on the phone to him, he closes in on you even more like you're his prey. "Talk to me."
"About what?" you ask.
"Anything, enlighten me."
And then you go on to talk about everything and anything.
This is exactly what he wanted. The sentences don't stop falling from your lips, you manage to ramble for so long that Sukuna's unable to give a response. It's the alcohol doing this to you but just from your tone he can tell that you've missed having these conversations with someone. With him.
It doesn't have to be important - that's not the point - what's important is just having someone to listen to you as you get everything off your mind and chest and that's what Sukuna manages to grant you. He hums and asks questions in the right places and suddenly an hour has passed.
He knows it's getting late and he promised to take Yuji to the baseball game tomorrow morning. He shoots the question for you to come and join them, he'll pay. Sukuna's tone is casual but his fingers are digging into his palms because he's so nervous.
Denied.
He's not supposed to take it personally but there's something in his lower abdomen that still sinks somehow. You've still got your guard up around him and there's an evident red line that shouldn't be crossed.
He doesn't push, merely taking another route.
"well, if you're busy tomorrow then maybe some other time this week we could- uh - go for drinks or something..."
It was just a suggestion that popped into his mind and the second it leaves his mouth he can sense your hesitation. He's fucked up again, he thinks and to cover his ass he manages to do what he does best.
Lie.
"casual. parent to parent. talk about yuji's behaviour or whatever."
"right, as if it's something that you couldn't tell me right now? you just told me he was fine."
"should definitely be said in person. i can get jin to watch him in the meantime."
When you don't question him as much as you should he knows he's succeeded. You've enjoyed this catch-up conversation as much as he did and you're relying on your own selfish instinct to agree with him. His ideas for drinks are just another chance to keep up with what's been happening over the years. Of course, he asks about your life here and there each time you drop off Yuji but for the first time in a long time he's heard about your thoughts and patterns, something that he once had committed to memory.
He's thrown Jin in it but he knows that he would be more than happy to look after his nephew and perhaps a little too eager to know that the two of you are on proper speaking terms again. Sukuna's still unsure what he wants out of this situation but it's more than obvious through the fluctuations in his lower gut that he does miss you.
Even when he doesn't say it aloud.
When you say goodnight, he calls you baby on purpose. Teasing you. And he hangs up before you can even scold him thinking that he's a genius. He knows he shouldn't be saying it and he has no right to, it's been years but that pet name still slips from his tongue quicker than whiplash. And he doubts that you'll bring it up to his face when he drops Yuji by the end of the weekend.
Once he's hung up the phone he's a little surprised you don't call him back to cuss him out. Either it's too late for you to bother him or for once maybe you liked it.
The silence of the room is imminent as Sukuna now basks in the aftermath of the conversation and his actions.
A hand runs across his forehead. What the fuck was he doing? Asking you for drinks? Making up the excuse that this was simply just to talk about Yuji is a low blow and even he knows that. But at least he got you to somewhat agree with the idea of going out with him and didn't reject it entirely.
He just hopes that you don't plan to bail in the upcoming days.
Checking on Yuji, it's obvious that the boy's knocked out. Sukuna tuts, clearing a little of his stuff left on the floor, turning off the tv screen before switching off his lights.
Content with the quiet and calm state of the house, Sukuna finally heads to his own room. It's not too shabby, a little emptier than most bedrooms but Sukuna didn't have many possessions in the first place anyways. Made it easier to pack and let go of his past, he told himself.
The mattress creaks under his weight and he lets out a groan at the ache of his body. Fleeting, his eyes manage to glance at his bedside drawer. Out of everything in the house, that drawer is the one thing that he rarely opens. Hidden away in the back corner lies his gold wedding ring that he once wore.
Thinking back to your split, it was difficult for him to get used to the lighter feeling on his hand. Some nights he'd glance at his hand noticing that something was missing before the realisation clouded over him. He hasn't worn it since the papers were finalised. He kept the ring on even whilst they were being served and determined, selfishly hoping for the possibility that you would change your mind.
But of course he was wrong.
Somewhere in his house, buried in a stuffed cardboard box, there are pictures of you and him in a few photo albums he's saved from the early years of your marriage. He's documented a lot: the wedding, your pregnancy, Yuji's birthdays. And those pictures specifically cause the most anxiety in his gut.
He still remembers that one night when he flicked through Yuji's birthday pictures right up until Yuji's fifth birthday, the last birthday he had before the two of you separated.
With every photo from each year his eyes land on your face and with each turn of the page he notices how your smile eventually disappears. Your eyes are clearly downcast. To a stranger you'd seem happy but of course Sukuna knows when you're covering it all up.
He should have noticed it earlier. With how distant you were getting and you becoming more quieter and quieter even an idiot would have assumed that you were planning to file for divorce.
And the following year, once it was all finalised Sukuna stopped taking pictures at Yuji's birthday. He still showed up, he always would for Yuji there's no doubt about it but there was no use pretending to be playing a happy family in front of the cameras anymore.
Laying back, Sukuna settled underneath the covers with his eyes now staring at the ceiling. His body is still but his mind is active, running with a thousand thoughts. He thinks about everything, about you, Yuji and of the multitude of reasons for how he has become so different compared to the man in those photos. He's become unrecognisable to himself, his entire life so far from what he had envisioned in the past. Back to sleeping in bed alone at his age? No, that's not what he wanted.
That photo album remains unfinished, blank pages of memories that show the potential of the future he could have had. And there's a smudge of a chance that he'll be able to make them with you and finish that photo album entirely because damn it-
he misses you.
And he swears from this point forward to make this as clear as possible to you again, no matter what.
The waltz between you and Sukuna has started up again. And it's a selfish one. The two of you are pulling each other deeper and deeper into this trance all whilst knowing that inevitably the past will come to hurt you again.
****
sneak peek for part 5 bc im really kind. i'm making it ambiguous (kinda).
"you gave up on me first."
"don't say it like that."
"was he a good fuck?"
"sukuna!"
"don't answer then."
MY TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!!! if you would like to keep updated then i would highly suggest subscribing on ao3 so you can get a notification of when i update, i update on tumblr and ao3 simultaneously. link is here! thank you for reading!
