[machineblood]

[funeralfetish]

I’ll probably kill myself before 25 so appreciate me while I’m here

[vampire-punk-deactivated2017051]

Boy Scout: Sir, the lads and I found a snake is it poisonous? 

Me: No this snake is not poisonous at all.

*one of them picks up the snake which bites them. They begin to spasm and foam at the mouth*

Me: However this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Lets get it right next time lads. 

[cockhunt]

nice day to put a knife in my head

[dunyun-rings]

Don’t let another person ruin your day

ruin your own damn day

[theshitneyspears]

[weloveshortvideos]

Guy that’s self-conscious about his lisp

[nintendontdodrugs-deactivated20]

This has made me cry with laughter just thinking of it several times today.

[jeangrey]

[bvlma-deactivated20160701]

someone: I hope you die

Me:

[huthor]

[mavibal10]

[greekgosh]

this is literally my favorite trend ever please never let this die

[syzzygys]

and they say romance is dead

[fearofgravity-deactivated201708]

Bobby looks like he wants to erase this memory

[superattacku]

Remember that Raccoon that was crushed by the cruel fate that is cotton candy plus water? Well, there was a happy ending after all!

[rockonmytongue]

[manrippedapartbydogs]

Jesus is back, And he's not Crucifuckin' around: The Bible 2

[justloveskins]