“What would you do if you thought that a boyfriend was paying more attention to a cactus than you?”
“I’m glad everyone just got to experience me sniffing your face.”
“So you’re four times better at sucking than I am.”
“You sound really husky and sensual.”
“I looked like a giraffe in an ice rink.”
“If I’m being honest, I have to go and get naked now.”
“I wanna be a bit more bendy.”
“I’m jealous of your dimple,”
“Try not to make sex noises, that’s really distracting.”
“You’re like a beautiful flower, ____.”
“You shoved it back in the hole!”
“You can’t just pull it out and put it in without a plan…”
“I don’t wanna stand, I’ve got my browsing position enabled!”
“Pull my tail.”
“Just getting my morning butt warmth.”
“I’m going to go get Megan Fox surgery on my face!”
“If it flies back in here, I’m disowning you.”
“And you are my pikachu.”
“Pretend we’re fighting over you.”
“I think your personality is too adorable for it,”
“Not gonna lie, that sounds extremely sexual.”
“Okay, okay, groping…”
“Mine’s really floppy…”
“It was the angriest, I swear to god, I have ever seen ___.”
“And, without you, I just… I dunno how I’d feel. Y’know?”
“The first step is to unsheathe your stick.”
“Why am I left handed?”
“Watch out for glitter sneezes!”