“Wow, okay, thanks,” she replied dryly before shaking it off with a smile. “…You know,” the blonde started off carefully as she found the way Rowan talked about it extremely amusing– mainly because she had no big city or small town to call home or identify herself with. She was just Nora– which wasn’t even her real name. “‘Dublin resident’ doesn’t explain much, I’ve never been there.” The woman admitted with a shrug. “It feels like I’m dying, excuse you. But that only means it’s working? I did a good job?” She made a face, the defeated girl she saw in the mirror coming to mind. “… More or less. You should know I will survive, though, since I’m a big, tough girl.” Nora stuck her tongue out at her trainer, she also wanted to point a finger at her but, funnily enough, she couldn’t lift her hand. She needed another moment, clearly. “A protein shake? Where do I get that? Do they make them chocolate flavored?!” Her face lit up as a gleam of hope flashed through her eyes. It vanished soon as her heart felt heavier, all of a sudden. “Rowan,” she said in an almost whisper. “Facing it means opening up and what if I’m like a special edition of the Pandora’s box? What if I never stop crying and feeling miserable?” The woman shook her head upon realizing how silly she might’ve sounded. “I’m just… Afraid, I guess.” Rowan managed to capture her attention once more, showing her her scarred hands. “When…” shock written all over her face and eyes wide, she looked up at Rowan and sat up. “Why did you do this to yourself?”
“You’re so welcome.” Rowan replied, mimicking the other woman’s tone. It was fair; not many people knew the specifics of Dublin. Yet when it came to the Irish, most stereotypes weren’t too far off. “Dublin resident. You know, Irish. Most of what we do is drink and fight.” She laughed and winked, doing her best to ignore the sudden pang of homesickness. Ten years had gone by since the last time she’d been home and she missed it. The streets, the people, even the food. “It’s means you’re going to keep on hurting for the next several days. But yeah, that’s a good thing. Means you’re building up muscle.” Most people worried about if anything was effective. She wasn’t the best at assuaging such worries, but she occasionally tried. only with those she liked. “Any grocery store. There’s all sorts of flavors and types.” She didn’t know some people were unaware of the existence of such things. It was every day life, to her.
She laughed, lightly. “I’m not laughing at you, Nora. But that could have been me, a few years ago. You’re not the only one that feels that way, and nothing I can say is going to take that fear away. You have to decide if you want to live with that inside of you, or get fed up and decide you want better for yourself.” That was what it had taken for her. Anger. At herself, at her life, at the choices she had made. She’d been so stubborn for so long, until she decided to turn that stubbornness onto fixing herself. She swallowed when Nora’s attention went to her hands. This was never the easy part, those old feelings welling back up. “I was hurting. And angry. And I thought this was the only way I could actually feel. I had - still have, a lot of problems.”