vita automata

cdd, ptsd & autism he/him | 18+ endo neutral but please dni

[rcrisu]

Ghost || Ghoul

[dul0xeteenies-moving-deactivate]

OK, my 'one fear' has come to pass, I'm dropping Stargaze, that's not how plural systems work and Nightow himself has a better grasp on that

[filepathnotfound]

hi I have DID and wanna just comment on this real quick because I've seen multiple people post this line, no hate to op nor to anyone else who doesn't like this scene.

I would like to simply say that Razlo saying that Wolfwood killed Livio is not entirely misrepresentation nor is it out of character. It's pretty well known that Razlo's pretty overdramatic and passionate, Wolfwood hurting Livio by sending him into such intense flashbacks that he shot himself could absolutely be taken by Razlo as killing him. It also provides immediate motivation for Razlo's rage towards Wolfwood and desire to kill him for more than just Chapel told him to. He also says "I've been told ..." that Livio is dead, not just stating that he's dead, so it's feasible to take this as dramatization rather than literal. The end of the episode has art of the church of the Eye of Michael and of their experiments, Chapel, and the desert with Chapel and LR, so I'm hopeful that next episode will include more backstory that better contextualizes that line.

I'm absolutely still afraid they're gonna fuck up LR's characters but I don't think this line alone is proof of that. Though of course that's only my opinion and everybody's welcome to their own ❤️ x

[roguemonsterfucker]

"This child is never a bother! This child is so low maintenance!"

When I was a kid, I once walked around an entire mall with gum in my mouth that had almost immediately turned to liquid for some reason. I didn't want to bother anyone to find a trashcan.

When I was a kid, I once ate a reheated frozen meal still partially frozen because I didn't want to bother anyone to use the microwave again.

You see a "low maintenance" child and I see a child too afraid to ask for their needs to be met.

[roguemonsterfucker]

I do want to clarify that in my particular case, I just had one of the worst anxiety disorders a child could have and no one knew. This wasn't due to my parents ever acting as if I were a burden or making me think they'd be upset by these things.

I didn't specify that in the original post because I know that very much isn't the case for many children. For a lot of them, they are acting this way out of a genuine and valid fear of the consequences.

Regardless of the why of it, there are children out there touted as perfect kids and the reason they're so "perfect" is that they are afraid to admit to not being perfect. And honestly being constantly called perfect makes it so much fucking worse.

So yeah. Whatever the reason, my heart goes out to all my fellow "well behaved" kids. You and I deserved to not be perfect. We deserved to be heard and have our needs met.

So parents out there... Make sure your kids are actually okay. Check in with them. Make them feel safe. Make sure they know that they will be loved even if they cause you inconveniences.

[orpheuslament]

boy i sure do love a character who is playing a Character. a character who you have to basically forcefully cut open to get a glimpse of who they actually are. bonus points if they themselves have no fucking clue because theyve been pretending for so long theyve forgotten who they are when theyre not

[wintersoulwitch]

[orangerysystem]

resenting your common origins

[botanical-garden-system-deactiv]

Hey, it’s not your fault. You were just a kid. You may still BE a kid. But I know a few things for certain:

You didn’t ask to be born into this world.

You didn’t ask to be treated the way that you were treated—whether it was by bullies, parents, or other family members.

You didn’t ask to “be a burden” to your caregivers, you deserved that space to be loved and safe

You didn’t ask for your consent to be broken.

You didn’t ask for the shame and guilt someone put you through.

You aren’t bad for something happening to you. You aren’t your trauma.

I’m sorry if you were ever made to feel that way, and I know that may never mean much coming from a stranger, but I know it’s something I wish I heard more.

[sys-port]

Have some weekend fun with your system!

Make a list of alters but without stating their names.

You can either write one word that symbolise them, a sentence or maybe a funny nickname and even an emoji! Get creative :D

Dream

[filepathnotfound]

We got the whole squad in this one

extremely unlicensed medical professional

average D&D player

pit of eternal denial

Nothing Matters Ever :)

unethical artist too good at anatomy

scary (compliment) goth girl

Google Translate

domestic terrorist but a chef

Furry Child

robot ghost alan turing

screams of the damned

too old for this shit but weirdly good at it

forcefield calendar in need of therapy

big fan of this one because none of these titles are new lmao

[homunculus-argument]

Okay but jokes aside, when it comes to demon possession, "odd or abnormal behaviour" means abnormal for this specific individual. Everyone knows about the stereotypical symptoms like talking backwards or walking on the ceiling, and jokes about how you'd know that someone who's incredibly weird by nature would probably start acting more normal if they got possessed, but apparently it's not common knowledge that this counts as abnormal behaviour. Like obviously someone who's been strange as hell their entire life hasn't been possessed this entire time, but if you know someone who is odd, and has always been odd, you might want to start asking questions if they suddenly start doing things you've never seen them do before, like sitting on chairs the normal way, or using kitchen utensils for their intended purpose.

[filepathnotfound]

It's always really funny to me, as a pwDID, how many people think possession would be easy to notice. Like... I "suddenly" develop an aversion to "my" favorite food, and people only go, "Ah, that's a bit silly," but otherwise do not question it. Most people in this world would not notice, because we tend to pass things off as a "bad day" or something without question.

I really don't believe anyone would notice if we got possessed! I don't even know if I'd notice if some of my friends got possessed.

This especially applies if it was a long-term change. Your friend's usually-consistent typing pattern changes for one day? That's weird, I wonder what happened on that day. But if it changes and stays different? Maybe question what made them change their mind, but most people will accept something like, "Eh, I just decided that it's easier not to capitalize words," as an answer and won't really question it.

Maybe someone that you know really well, but an acquaintance or colleague or something like that? Unlikely!

People change often, and sometimes people do just make "random" dramatic changes to themselves or their lives. People are weird. People have "off days." People with DID/OSDD exist and (mostly those with more overt presentations) change even more dramatically than average.

All this to say: you should pay attention for behavior that seems uncharacteristic, but demonic possessions would evade most people who aren't attentive.

[coastal-mangos-one]

reading The Summer Hikaru Died as an alter really is another experience......

i know this is played as a horror... but hikaru's deal really does capture a lot of the feelings of being an alter. especially one who wants to be friends with the people who know the usual guy. the hesitance. the uncertainty as to whether they're just playing nice because you share a body with their friend.

sighhhh good book good book

(please no spoilers we're only 6 chapters in)

[coastal-mangos-one]

holy shit

[kimthemangoguy]

filed under things that make me audibly say "yeah can you just kill me next time"

[coastal-mangos-one]

kimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[coastal-mangos-one]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[saradanversrogers]

[fleshfictive]

NOT supportive to your system friends:

- "can you make [alter] front?"

- always asking who's fronting

- getting upset when they can't remember something

VERY supportive to your system friends:

- giving them money

- "here's $50 for you"

- relinquishing your money to them

- offering them money

[pouiis]

my unpopular opinion is that labeling alters jobs in a system (for example "host" or "persecuter" etc) is more limiting than helpful.

did and osdd are complex disorders that you cant put into boxes. some alters may fill more roles than one. labelling it would just be unnecessarily complicated. some alters may not seem to check any of the boxes, trying to put a label on that can be unnecessarily stressful.

additionally, these labels might make alters feel as if theyre SUPPOSED to be/act a certain way.

In my experience, the most ridiculous label would be that of the host.

In our system, the alter fronting the most always changes with time. when someone switches, whos to say the alter before them will front any time soon? hard to predict in my experience.

along with it changing too much to matter, i notice some systems treating the host as if theyre in charge or more important than the others. i dont believe this does anything to encourage communication or teamwork in sys.

In the end, what would you do with this knowledge anyway? if you did know everyones role, what would it do for you? it never seemed to help us.

again, this is just my opinion. id like to hear anyone else's thoughts on this. just please be respectful and ill do the same.

-faust

[hazedxg0]

DID symptoms that people don't talk enough about

The cycle of forgetting and then re-remembering trauma memories

Constant depersonalization and derealization

Feeling as if you're stuck living someone else's life

Failure to plan for the future because nothing feels real + losing time

Thinking a flashback is over when you've actually just dissociated away from it, and having it resume as soon as you stop dissociating

Dissociative stupor/trance

Alexithymia

Identity issues outside of alters

Inability to connect with other people

Being unable to tell if you've healed from a past problem/trauma or if you've just dissociated away from it

Not learning from past mistakes because of amnesia and dissociation

Feeling nothing psychologically despite physical shaking, racing heart, nausea, crying, etc

The extreme disorientation + identity confusion that comes with co-consciousness and co-fronting

Somatic flashbacks

Being triggered by your own DID symptoms because you know the only reason you're experiencing any of this is because of what they did to you

[depsidase]

[rohgoreihgiorefdhgirehgreihg-de]

every time you SIN you gain ONE SINPOINT. i SIN frequently and gain SINPOINTS often because i am not gentle or kind. i buy perfume that smells like wolves

[fairycosmos]

LOVE the phrase if push comes to shove. if things get fucking violent

[number1-syscourse-blog]

Calling alters "alters, parts, headmates, peices": 🚫🚫🚫🚫

Calling alters: "those bitchass motherfuckers" ✅️✅️✅️