He said, she said, they said

For when you want inspiration for your incorrect quotes. I tag quotes by the seasons / installments they appear in in the original work, if you'd like to tag for quote spoilers.

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: Cheer up, will you?

A: *punches [B] in the arm*

B: How is punching me in the arm meant to cheer me up?

A: It works with [group].

B: Well they're thick, aren't they?

A: I'm a [member of group].

B: There you go, then.

[Source - Merlin]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: Come on. You know I love you.

B: Yeah. But do you like me?

A: Well, yeah. Mostly.

B: Mostly??

A: I mean, do you like me??

B: Sometimes.

A: 'Sometimes!?' I said 'mostly'!

B: They're synonymous!

A: No they are not, 'mostly' is definitely more than 'sometimes!!'

[Source - Jane the Virgin]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: Are you sure about this?

B: Have I ever been wrong?

A: ...

B: I mean when it's important!!!

[Source - The Little Mermaid]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: I promise you, we've done nothing untoward–

B, bursting through the door with C: Hey, fart faces, what's up? [C] and I just had sex in a closet.

[Source - The Good Place]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: Where are you going?

B: To get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.

[Golden Girls]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: I know what you've been up to, [B].

B, internally: Play dumb.

B, out loud: Who's [B]?

B, internally: NOT THAT DUMB!

[Into the Spider Verse]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: You did the right thing.

B: Then why do I find myself trying to recall Judas's good qualities?

[New Amsterdam]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: How do you feel?

B: Oh, like a million bucks... that was sent dollar by dollar through an industrial shredder and then set on fire with a blowtorch.

[Source - New Amsterdam]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: Should be safe.

B: You thought we were safe before.

A: Yes, well, I'm bound to be right eventually, aren't I?

[Source - Doctor Who]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: What am I going to do?

B: You're going to get through this because I'm going to help you. And I'm just too fabulous to fail.

[Source: PlayChoices' "The Elementalists"]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: I'll be good cop, you be bad cop.

B: Can I not be good cop?

A: [B], we've talked about this. Your face.

[Source - Doctor Who]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A, to C: You got this, buddy.

B: Yeah!!!!!

A: Or you don't. It could go one of two ways.

B: Yeah!!!!!

C: Thank you, I... suppose.

]Source - Sanders Sides]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: A true romantic can tell. [C] may be course on the outside, but on the inside...

B: They're gross?

A: I mean under that.

[Source - Mulan II]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: So. [C] and [D] got married... [E] and [F] almost got married... you think you and I should hook up?

B: Oh, we do. But not just yet.

A: Really? Well, when?

B: Okay, um, well. First [F] and [E] will get married, and be filthy rich, by the way, but, um, it won't work out.

A: Wow.

B: I know. Then I'm gonna marry [F] for the money, and you'll marry [D] and have the beautiful kids.

A: Great.

B: But then we ditch those two, and that's when we get married. We'll have [F]'s money, and [D]'s kids, and getting custody will be easy because of [D]'s drinking problem.

A: Oh, whoa, what about [C]?

B: I don't want to get into the whole thing, but, um, we have words and I kill them.

[Source - Friends]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: You're impossible.

B: Not impossible. Just highly unlikely.

[Source - Doctor Who]

(like if you use)

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: *pulls out a gun and puts it on the table*

B: ... Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

A: It's not in my pocket. It's on the table.

B: Yeah, I've just never seen a real gun before and I make dumb jokes when I'm nervous.

A: You must get nervous a lot.

[Source - Frankenstein, MD]

[fillintheincorrectquote]

A: Good.

B: Fine.

A: Great.

B: You always have to have the last word, don't you?

A: Yes.

[Source - Emma Approved]