Fils Sans Frontiers

Hopelessly nostalgic, excruciatingly impulsive and refusing to believe that life is meaningless

[filssansfrontiers]

Zulu & Zephyr is my love language

I’ve realised that the way I go about falling in (and out) of love, is much like the way I go about buying clothes.

I might see something (usually from Zulu & Zephyr) that I like the look of, so I save a screenshot of it.

But then I spend months, sometimes years, weighing up the pros and cons of the dress in the screenshot, convincing myself I don’t need it, or that I can’t afford it, that I should just buy a cheaper one.

Or maybe I’ll find a similar style that’s better? So I keep the screenshot to compare with other styles I come across.

Over time though, nothing really changes and one day I look at the screenshot and realise I fucking love that dress.

And I know deep down that it’s better to spend more (read: risk more) on good quality things that will last you a lifetime, than to resort back to a cheap and easy Kmart option (don’t get me wrong, cheap and easy Kmart options have their place, but the Kmart option never does measure up to the one you wanted in the first place).

Fuck it. I decide to buy the dress. Often, only to find that I’ve waited too long and now it’s sold out. Or maybe it’s not sold out and so I buy it and it’s fucking wonderful, for a time. 

Inevitably I then find a way to ruin the dress, whether by washing it the wrong way, or spilling something on it. And now it’s irreversibly shrunken, stained or stretched out of shape.

So, unable to wear the dress anymore, I carefully hang it in my closet like an ornament to be admired, because I love that dress too much and invested too much in it just to throw it away.

Regrettably, I store memories away in the same fashion (no-pun-intended), like a glimmering reminder of a time when I made the right choice. The problem with doing this, is that memories are almost always an amplified version of what actually occurred. Much like a photo that doesn’t show you every angle and has the saturation turned up, happy memories can be retained in almost fantasy-like glory, while others can lay dormant in the farthest corners of your mind, coming back to haunt you when you least expect it.

So after it all, I finally decide it’s time to let the dress go. That shiny ornament in my closet needs to be thrown out, or given to Vinnies. Maybe it will even make room for new and better things in my closet.

And then Zulu & Zephyr release their new season collection, and the process starts all over again.

[filssansfrontiers]

[witchstone]

Celestial Mapping and Celestial Proportions by Tallmadge Doyle

[wslofficial]

[the-wolf-and-moon]

[vanrobinson-deactivated20170514]

[ana-elisabeta]

https://www.instagram.com/p/BksYLOHH9Ze/?taken-by=ninauc

[chanel-and-louboutins]

[makinginfinity]

[pois0niv3y]

[skullxcrusher-deactivated201501]

nostalgia is a liar. nothing was ever as good as you remember it to be. there’s a reason you don’t talk to that person anymore, there’s a reason you’re not part of each other’s lives. don’t trust nostalgia. grieve. reflect. move on.

[hatchetandtom]

Careless Edition https://flic.kr/p/25UTmR9

[heerethere]

[neckkissesandcoffee-deactivated]

[filssansfrontiers]

And then the good things

Giggles erupting from my chest, as a boy I hardly know hits the accelerator on a jet ski in the Croatian islands, us both taking flight over a body of water I’m not familiar with. 

Staring over the edge of that still jet ski at that infinite deep blue water, slowly undulating beneath us, wondering if I were to slip in, if I’d simply become a part of it.

Sunday mornings, sipping on peppermint tea and slowly wandering around the kitchen as porridge simmers on the stove and Bob Marley wafts through the apartment.

Meeting people down at the beach early in the morning, preferably Torquay, but any beach would do. and playing in the water without the restriction of somewhere to be afterwards or plans that have to be followed.

When I hit play on ‘In Motion’ by Allday as I take the exit to Mossy Point and I come around the bend to an untouched, glistening beach where stingrays play at your ankles along the shoreline.

When the person that matters most sounds genuinely happy and excited for the future and for a second, it feels like we might both be ok.

[filssansfrontiers]

Pain

Singing to Smith Street Band in the car, so loudly that I think my own heart might spew up out of my throat.

Crying with my whole. body. As if all the pain I had ever felt was spilling over the threshold, my lungs ejecting it out of my body in violent thrashes.

Remembering, what could have been, what my life might now be like, if only I had acted ever so slightly differently. 

[jayalvarrez]

Summer

By @jayalvarrez Instagram @jayalvarrez