Dimension|| cancer crew blog||i write things||requests: open||filthy Frank inclusive||the cancer crew fandom's unofficial AU dealer|| main blog: @wizardingwolf
if ur a nazi or neo-nazi or support nazi ideologies let this be a fucking harsh message that ur not welcome on this blog and I hope you get socked in the face
the reason imposter frank wears glasses is simply because he’s blind. the real reason he agreed to doing this is not because chin chin paid him in chromosomes, but instead because chin chin promised him that as long as he remained in “character”, chin would grant fake frank the ability to see the way he does. because despite chin chin’s eyes being sewn shut, he clearly has some perception of vision.
a shapeshifter walked along a well traveled path, noticing that his footsteps fit perfectly in the ones from previous visits. although he had traveled down this road a thousand times, it still made him oddly happy that he simply there, as every instance of his presence there usually meant good fortune for him. eventually, the shapeshifter stopped at a lake.
the shapeshifter kneeled at the edge on the lake and extended their long, dragon-like tail so that it splashed into the water. and soon enough, a merman emerged before him.
“joji! i didn’t expect you to arrive this early.” the merperson told the shapeshifter. “by the way, what’s with the dragon tail?”
“i was looking at designs for a new character.” joji answered.
“i see.”
“anyways, max, why did you call me here?” joji asked the merperson.
“we need to wait on the other two! i don’t want to explain it twice.” max said. joji nodded.
“mind if i shapeshift into a merperson to surprise the others?” max nodded, and joji dove into the water transforming into a merman with majestic, long, and pure white fins midair. he hit the water with a splash so large, it dampened the earth almost two feet away. max dived down to check on joji.
“damn, why do you have to be so extra whenever you do this?”
“it’s fun!”
“i guess so.”
“it’s the least i can do for myself while i remember how to use gills.” joji chuckled. the two then resurfaced to see a cervitaur frantically running over. joji thought it was almost funny to see centaur-like creatures move like that, the way their legs sometimes get tangled in each other if going down something steep enough always brought a strange comedic effect to joji.
“sorry...i’m...late!” the cervitaur panted as he reached the river edge, only to be greeted with an immense splash tot he face by joji. “that’s what you get for being late, Ian.” joji joked.
“i guess you’re right.” the cervitaur chuckled.
soon a mage appeared through a portal. max tried to splash them, but the mage evaded it by setting up a small shield of fire. “nice try, cunt.”
“i’ll admit chad, that was incredibly fast and impressive.” ian complimented.
“thank you.” the mage replied.
“enough of that!” max said as joji shifted back to his main form and swam back to land.
“i’ve asked everyone to come here because i’d like to have a race with you all tomorrow.”
everyone exchanged looks.
“we always do things less than enjoyable together, so i thought we could try something a bit more harmless.”
everyone agreed.
“but where is this happening?” chad inquired.
“how about the canyons west of the elven village? up in the sky there?” max replied.
“you’re on.” the others said in unison. and they all headed back to their homes to begin working on their means of air transportation.
about noon the next day, joji appeared at the canyon, his only means of flight being a pair of wings on his back and a few bottles of energy potion.
in the distance, he noticed a figure darting towards him. joji was so focused on figuring out what it was that he was barely aware of chad coming over through another portal. that thing in the distance turned out to be a massive dragon headed right for them. chad prepared a shield, but by the time the dragon reached them, it was in reins, driven by none other than the cervitaur, ian.
“how the hell did you get that dragon?” joji and chad shouted in unison.
“he’s a good friend of a dragon centaur in my village. we had our conflicts in the past, but they allowed me to ride the dragon for this race.” ian explained. joji and chad nodded. “by the way, where’s max?”
as soon as ian spoke, a geyser shot up from the bottom of the canyon. from it, a great orb of water formed, before the water took on the shape of a large gryphon, and in the middle was max, the scales on his tail sparkling, despite being submerged.
“how did you-” joji began.
“easy! i got a magic crystal from a siren, they told me it would allow my water orb to take on different shapes than, well, an orb. and it did!” max said while showing off an amulet around his neck.
“i see joji sprouted wings and ian’s riding a dragon, what are you doing, chad?”
chad summoned a stone platform kept aloft on a weak hurricane and stepped on. “one of these!”
everyone got into place afterwards.
“on your marks...”
joji focused all his energy on his wings.
“get set...”
joji clutched an energy potion while ian’s grip on the dragon’s reins tightened.
“GO!”
everyone shot off in a blur and was high in the sky. joji swerved below the dragon and tried to stay low so nobody would notice he was there. max was frantically flapping his fins to get past chad. ian was pulling ahead, surprisingly.
joji swerved to avoid a tree, while max realized joji’s position and flew past. with the precision of a hawk, ian sped over an arch.
max was doing well. although the water blurred his vision, he could still see well enough to know everyone’s position and from this knowledge, he and ian were right next to each other. the cervitaur was aware of this, too.
“how much you want to bet that you’ll have canyon dust in your water mech by the end?”
max pulled ahead, leaving chad dead last. after a few more twists and turns, chad saw the finish, and all his depleted energy suddenly was gone, and was filled with the speed of one hundred falcons blasting through the air. he finally hit the end, but skidded so much that his entire suspended aquatic mech-like environment was filled with dirt, it felt like a dust storm inside, leaving max to pop his partially mud covered head out, to see everyone else. chad was just arriving in, then ian, but joji was nowhere to be seen. “did he get really far behind?” chad asked.
“GET ON MY LEVEL, BITCHES!” joji shouted from behind a rock. everyone laughed. even though max didn’t make it first like he thought, at least he got to spend quality time with his closest friends.
joji as a shapeshifter whose main form is mostly human but every few weeks something changes (like one week he would have antlers, the next a pair of fox ears)
max as a merperson who gets around on land in a floating orb of water because magic
ian as a cervitaur who lives in a small village of other centaur-like creatures
chad as a mage who knows like five types of elemental magic but uses it for party tricks most of the time
i am really passionate about this concept ok and i will post endless headcanons and short fics about it
stormborns
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