naughty

it's like a porn blog, only the UI is horrible

[filthypixels]

No fewer than three minors have reblogged my photo post containing my e-mail from Tumblr staff regarding the change to NSFW-flagged blogs. You know, that e-mail informing us that minors can no longer access us. I’m blocking them. If you want to block them too, here are the URLs.

everything-is-all-might (16)

class-icalmusic (16)

galaxies-above-us (17)

Also, unintended side effect, if you just plain don’t want to deal with minors, flag your blog NSFW.

[filthypixels]

Glory hallelujah. This is what NSFW blogs have been asking for.

[filthypixels]

Visit Original Link

Nast.wav

[ziheia-deactivated20200705]

johndave week day6: nsfw

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[freakyhumanshit]

stream request for Dirk to eat Endangered!AR’s robo-ass yeah, that’s a thing I can get behind. AR from @mortior ‘s AU

[filthypixels]

How much girth is king dong?

hold your hand flat. four fingers, at least with my hands, judging by how wide i had to stretch my mouth

she Big

(i can’t find… the exact one… or i’d link it…)

e. there she is. there’s my duchess

[takibert]

well, i…ugh.

[filthypixels]

i’m so fucking nast

i was getting off earlier which is a thing i do maybe like every other month, this is not an all the time kind of thing. and i have three things i use: a ten speed remote controlled bullet vibe, a tango in black, and a dildo with a bullet stuck in that, for purposes of this post, i’ll just go ahead and call King Dong

usually bullet vibe is fine, have some clit fun, whatever. for penetration, stick with tango. i can’t always deal with king dong, because, uh, it’s got some girth to it.

so i’m laying there, on my back fucking myself, right, with my shoulders propped up on my pillows, and i start saying nonsense shit once i get into it, and i’m working with the for-partner end of the tango (i don’t want to wear it, just get fucked) and extremely vivid mental image: dude in front of me trying to get his dick in me to stretch me out to take another dude’s king dong, and that other dude is cradling my shoulders

the nast is that i was moaning ‘dave’ when the tango was in me and ‘john’ when i finally got stretched enough for king dong

i’m just real fucking nast don’t look at me

[nuclearwinternsfw]

guess who!! i am here to spam you with dirkdave requests :3c i have so many ideas i don't know which to send you first, but i'll just go with an all time favorite... dirty talk. either face-to-face or through texting/chat or whatever you feel like writing!

Hi >:3 OH man I hope you like this!! Not sure if I am all that good at IC dirty talk but I tried…!

Dirk has discovered that Dave has two modes when he’s the one taking it—cheesy horrendous dirty talk and ironic exaggerated arching and wiggling, which is somehow stupidly hot, and quiet lip biting and hiding his face, which is also stupidly hot. He hasn’t quite worked out what the trigger points are, but he’s working on a hypothesis.

Keep reading

[sgt-spank]

Ugh. Someone write screwed up Yandere DirkHal for me. I can’t be the only one thirsty for Yandere Stridercest.

[sgt-spank]

Everyone’s favorite Hollywood Director/Superstar has some questionable hobbies. 

[agent-nemesis]

Things I have learned about prostate orgasms this morning

I was doing a bit of research (for fic, obviously). This reddit thread is an excellent resource, but not the only one.

For prostate only stimulation, orgasms tend to be dry, but not always.

Multiple orgasms are possible and there is no refractory period if there is no ejaculation.

Prostate milking and prostate orgasms are not the same thing. With prostate milking, the penis tends to be flaccid and fluid comes out without an orgasm.

Combined penis stimulation and prostate stimulation results in a normal, but usually much more intense orgasm with ejaculation.

You can massage the prostate externally and achieve orgasm, but it’s more difficult as it requires a lot of pressure on the perianal region.

It can take practice to “learn” to have prostate orgasms. Sometimes it takes an hour, sometimes it takes 5 minutes. Reported times vary a lot!

There tends to be a substantial, long-lasting afterglow post-prostate orgasm(s), especially after a long session. This is contrasted with “normal” orgasms, where after ejaculation, any sexual interest goes to zero.

Most people seem find it very enjoyable, but were initially very hesitant to try it.

The feeling of the orgasm itself is different from an orgasm from penis-only stimulation.

People seem to prefer finishing off a session with ejaculation. After extended prostate stimulation, there is usually a lot of ejaculate in the final orgasm. I quote, from the link at the start of this post, “Get ready to clean up, because the amount of cum that will come out is unbelievable.“

Experiences vary a lot from person to person. Some people have prostate orgasms easily, some don’t. Some ejaculate every time, and some never ejaculate at all. Intensity of feelings varies. Time taken to achieve orgasm varies. Some never succeed in having orgasms purely through prostate stimulation.

This has been a PSA.

[forestbeasty-deactivated2017110]

wellhurpadudrp

[backdoorsluts009]

parody of this sorryimadethispostabouthomestuck…

[drisnsfw]

[filthypixels]

[ > command line extended universe ] [ > command line not needed to enjoy this though ]

JADE: *various moans of pleasure* JADE: Oh, fuck, baby, that feels so good-- KARKAT: Don’t say that. JADE: Don’t say what? KARKAT: That.

JADE: Oh. Oh, I--ohh. Karkat, it’s ok, it’s--it’s just me, I--ohh... JADE: *more moans of pleasure* JADE: Shit, Karkat, where did you learn to do that?

Shuffling in the background.

JADE: Karkat, what are you-- KARKAT: Shut up. Just shut up, Harley, your talking license is officially being revoked. Obviously I’m not doing well enough if you’re so coherent you can make actual words. JADE: Sweetie, I-- JADE: *delighted scream* JADE: *moaning and panting around fingers in her mouth* JADE: *cums hard*

Heavy breathing for a moment.

JADE: That was amazing, sweetie. KARKAT: Fucking finally, I--what are you doing. JADE: It’s your turn. I just, and now you... I want to do something nice for you. KARKAT: I don’t want that, don’t do that. JADE: But you’re... still hard... KARKAT: Yeah, well, I have hands of my own, I don’t want yours. JADE: Then what do you want me to do, Karkat? KARKAT: Anything that involves less talking from you. JADE: So do you want me to use my mouth? Because sweetie, I--I’m not sure I’m ready to-- KARKAT: Then don’t. If you’re not sure, then just fucking don’t--why are you taking your skirt off. JADE: *giggle* You’re smart, you’ll catch on.

Lotion squirt, then slicking noises.

KARKAT: Didn’t realize I hadn’t shaved. JADE: It’s not beard burn, it’s-- KARKAT: Oh. ... Are you sure? Because if you’re not ready for oral I don’t know why you want me that close to your cunt. JADE: Just think of it like grinding but with no clothes on! And with your pants pistol between my thighs. KARKAT: Pretty sure your thighs could crush a man’s head. Don’t snap my dick off.

Shuffling sounds as they try to arrange limbs.

KARKAT: Is that ok? Cross your--your knees, oh, fuck, Jade. JADE: *yelps* KARKAT: Fuck, fuck, fuck, I fucked it up, I fucked it up, I’m sorry, I’m trash-- JADE: *breathless* You just bumped my clit don’t you dare stop now Karkat Vantas! KARKAT: I can get your--? JADE: *yelps again* Right there, fuckass! KARKAT: Shit, your skin is so soft, you feel--you feel so good, tight all around me-- JADE: Go as fast as you want, oh my god that feels Vantastic, feels like--*moan* feels like you’re really--is this how you’d--? KARKAT: Yes, fuck yes, Jade, this is how we move together, this is how it would--with me inside-- JADE: *cums again, abruptly, almost painful* KARKAT: *choked* God, sweetheart, I could feel that--close, I’m-- JADE: *sated* It’s ok, let go, Karkat. KARKAT: *orgasms emotionally*

Catching of breath, settling of bodies.

KARKAT: I made you all sticky. JADE: A sign of a girl well done. KARKAT: And you’re, you’re--you were-- JADE: I’m ok, sweetie. Are you ok? KARKAT: I’m not sure if I have a brain anymore. JADE: That good? Oh, good, I--I--wow, I feel fucked. My thighs! KARKAT: *urgently* I love you. JADE: I know. *happy hum* Just like you know I trust you, too.

There is a smooch. There are many smooches.

JADE: We should probably change. KARKAT: Yeah. JADE: You’re not moving. KARKAT: Nope. JADE: Do you want me to wipe up this mess with your shirt? KARKAT: We should probably change. JADE: *laughing* You’re so weird!

[tomhiddlestonsoundalike]

Visit Original Link

Well, the consensus appears to be overwhelmingly in favour of dirty, at least every now and again. Not to worry, I’ll still do plenty of cleaner things too, poetry/literature readings and dirty whispers, etc.

Here’s a requested script I performed elsewhere, entitled Incubus (written by Ovri). It contains demonic seduction, lucid dreaming, domination and some dirty talking/vulgar terms, so consider yourself warned. It is most definitely NOT safe for work, and rest assured I’ll tag all these sorts of things as such. I decided to perform it in a voice that I think is pretty much identical to my Loki voice, but it’s not meant to be Loki himself (though I suppose you could certainly picture it that way, if you wanted.)

There’s also an alternate version which was pitched down to create a much deeper, demonic voice. It sounds a bit like Idris Elba’s Heimdall from Thor, actually.

Feel free to let me know if you enjoyed it, it’s always nice to hear.

[filthypixels]

how is this even fair