xoxo

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[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Well, well look who’s suddenly gone all radio silence on me... You're not telling me that NO ONE has anything to say about the aftermath of the Fairchild Ball? No juicy tidbits on the Archibald fallout? Or, hell, even on Nate's hair? Isobel Prescott comes back to town and nothing. No whispers of ‘Unholy Trinitys’ or anything. No one is going to make a peep about Alex Vandervort and her baby daddy, whoever they may be? I can't rouse an opinion on even what Elizabeth Baizen wore to the spring fling? Speaking of, no one even has an accusatory finger to point about those mysterious, missing personal items?

Oh what, was I too mean while you all went on your little dates? Because I can certainly have more to say. What I can't do however is make it without you, my little Upper East Siders. I suggest you stop holding out on me.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Hello again, liars. I hope you haven’t forgotten about my little promise to ruin your lives far worse than my predecessor did to your precious parents. I admit, some of you are tragically underwhelming but there’s no stone I won’t unturn. That means you might have to face the disappointed looks from your nearest and dearest, Huxley Humphrey and Alexa Walker. Oh, and you too Niki Mahdavi because really, why does anyone talk to Luisa Reyes? Orange really isn’t the new black... Victoria Watts takes more after her father than I‘m sure she’d care to admit and same goes for Veronica Vandervort and mommy dearest. And, well, how many more people will stab Angel Hunter in the back before she finally notices?

Want the full details? I know you do. Keep your eyes peeled on your phones. Who knows, I might even reach out personally. As for the rest of you, don’t think I won’t post all your dirty little secrets too because I will.

Love me yet?

XOXO ---Gossip Girl

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

I bet you thought you’d heard the last from me, bitches. As usual, you were all wrong. Your mommies and dadddies tried their very best, they did but you just can’t keep a gossip girl down. Hold onto your secrets, Upper East Siders. They’ve been safe long enough.

Oh, you’re not going to love me but...

XOXO ---Gossip girl

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

What are Benji Howell and Louise Thomas doing exactly? Something we've all seen a thousand times before and I can predict right here and now that it's going to end in heartbreak but I won't say whose. After all, fool yourself all you like Upper East Siders but a kiss is never just a kiss. The second either one of these two realise they can't handle all that they act like they can, well, I'll bring the popcorn. Then again, with exes like Camille Hunter and endless flirting with every pretty (and rich, hm, Louise) face perhaps both will be too occupied to really, accidentally fall for the other. Or at least cause a scene about the strings that definitely are not attached to whatever is going on between them. I still have questions about Louise and Nate Archibald to be perfectly honest. What exactly was he drunkenly drawling on about at the Fairball? And will he be the one who comes between these two? It wouldn't be unlike Nate to break up a relationship, especially his own. Watch this space and try your best to ignore the love that dare not speak its name.

@louisebxss​ , @notbenjaminxbenji​

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Now here's an interesting pairing, don't you think, Upper East Siders? I hardly have to get into the seedier side of Jake Hunter's reputation given that anyone within ear shot knows about it. Hopefully Sutton Valentine has managed to avoid falling under his spell but really, who could blame her if she stared a little too long and felt a little too bothered by, well, everyone who's ever looked at him like that? One in particular I'm sure she's completely unfazed by is Sapphire Vandervort and I know you're all just dying to know the dirty deets about what may or may not have gone down between Jake and Saph after all this time... What's a boyfriend in the face of lifelong sexual tension, right? Not that it matters. Jake can't get out of his own way, he can't even get out of a tackling team-mate’s way; or his brother's shadow's way. Tragic. Sutton might have dodged a bullet here but I highly doubt that she's as squeaky clean as she's pretending to be. Tick tock goes the clock on that one.

@jaunty-jake , @suttonvalentine

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

The man of the hour makes his sad return and falls right into the arms of another drama queen? How predictable. He could not have left the party fast enough (hello, trying to avoid Isobel Prescott much?) with Sienna Haven in tow and I hear they headed off to snuggle up under the sheets. Honestly, this is a match made. We have Logan Hunter who couldn’t deal with his own emotions so he so predictably ran away from them, which is the Upper East Side speciality really, and then there’s Sienna. Public meltdowns, a scorched reputation, a tabloid mess and now here she is back in New York trying to start over and salvage what’s left of her career. Together they may make one fully functioning person or they might just spiral continuously downward together. Just when you think that Logan’s stupidity had hit its peak, he takes a tumble down a ski slope. Maybe it’s Sienna who should be careful then. After all, the last thing anyone needs is to fall for a disaster who already fell (for someone else).

@sienna-haven-gg , @logantheluscious

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Everything is just perfect in the Jesse Walker and Sophia Vandervort’s little bubble, isn’t it? It’s all just puppies and hand holding… Of course there is that little Dean related issue, isn’t there? After all, he already charmed away one of Jesse’s girlfriends and I’m quite sure he could do it again, especially if Sophia and Dean are sharing bunny slippers. That might not be fair to our lovely Sophia though… Sometimes the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Sometimes relationships on the Upper East Side don’t end in disaster and heartache and broken friendships. Sometimes. Oh, how sure are we that Jesse is even over his ex? Rose Haven might still have his heart. Is this just an exercise in rebounding or was there even someone in between Jesse’s two gals? Bethany Levesque perhaps. Questions, questions… Enjoy your pizza.

@walker-on-sunshine , @sophiavandervort

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

I think you've gone soft, Gossip Girl. All vague opinions and half-truths... The gal I remember would have torn these bitches apart already. Disappointing.

Hm.

( not posted )

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

What's this about Dean staying with the Vandervort trio?

What indeed. You heard it straight from the horse’s mouth, didn’t you? Dean Dawson confirmed he’s been leaving his socks all over the Vandervort home. Whether that’s generally or in Sophia, Scarlett or Sapphire’s rooms… Well, that’s purely speculation. It seems our former lovedstruck Romeo has bounced from one bed to the next and in record time. Rose Haven did choose him though and he’s, well, gotten himself a refund on that.

No take-backs, Rosie.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

who do you think will bring the most controversy now?

I know you all expect me to fall back on a classic troublemaker like Emmeline, or shine the spotlight on someone who has been in and out of it all month, like Oliver. But let me direct your attention to an unsuspected dark horse in the running: Aaron Vandervort. This boy holds in his very tight grasp the answer to nearly every question we’ve been asking ourselves–and he’s just the weak link to break if you want the secrets to start flowing out. He has the inside scoop on all of the dirty deets. He dated Isobel for quite a long time, and it’s no secret to all of you that he came away from that relationship with several of her secrets. He was involved in that mysterious boys trip with Nick and Jason that we’ve all been dying to learn more about. And let’s not forget that he’s more likely than just about anyone else to know the truth about who the father of Alex’s baby is. If Aaron should choose to spill what he knows, it’s safe to assume the entire UES would come crumbling down. Here’s hoping he gets chatty.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

What's the deal with Olivia?

Oh, if I only had an easy answer for you. On paper she’s got everything that should make her the perfect candidate for Queen of Constance, and yet–she has none of the spark her cousin Isobel wears so well. She was blessed with good genes, perfect hair, and enough money to buy Elon Musk, but she’s nothing more than a discount version of Upper East Siders past. Newsflash Liv, we’re all full up on study buddies (even if Nina Hastings and Sophia Vandervort would argue). Try taking a walk on the wild side for once. I’m sure good friend Georgina would be more than happy to show you how it’s done. Just make sure you don’t let the fun go to your head. Isobel could tell you all about how messy things get when you do that.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Sapphire and Tyler are together, right? So where exactly did she disappear to with Jake Hunter at the ball?

Oh, I think we all know where they disappeared to. Sapphire doesn’t exactly have a shiny clean reputation about these kinds of thing. And besides, by my last count, Sapphire and Tyler have been together for about a month now, which has to be the longest relationship she’s ever had. It’s honestly no surprise things are starting to crumble around them. It’s just a shame she had to drag a third party into her mess. I’m getting flashbacks to the drama of Rose and Jesse’s breakup just from the mention of it. Better start picking sides now, Upper East Siders. Team Tyler or Team Jake? May the best man win.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Do you ever get a feeling that Louise wants something else with Nate than just... friendship? I mean, did you SEE her at the ball? Damn, girl!

Do I know what you mean or do I? We all saw her. But can you really blame her? Before his unfortunate topple from social grace, Nate was a hot commodity. Of course Louise will need to rethink any feelings she might have developed for our former golden boy if she ever wants to ascend the ladder into true Upper East Side notoriety. As will all of the rest of Nate’s friends. Let this be a warning to the self-titled NJBC….Nate Archibald is a sinking ship. Jump overboard now before he takes you all down with him.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Serena got a very special delivery...

And her name is Georgina Sparks.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Emmeline Fairchild... Yikes.

Yikes.

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Was Nate just drunk or did him and Serena look awfully cosy together?

Nate was definitely drunk but can you ever truly know what’s going with those two? Nate and Serena, Serena and Nate… Tell as old as time. It’d be terribly unlike me start to unwarranted drama so let’s just stick with the facts, shall we? Nate and Blair were parading around all night as each other’s date while Serena pouted in the corner with what’s-his-face? Just kidding, Freddie. I know who you are.

Anyway, Howard loses it and then we’re left with our fave golden not-couple holding onto one and another. Maybe Nate was just drunk, playing on old feelings but then again, maybe not. There’s no punishment for pining…as long as that’s all. Right?

[filthyrecklessgossipgirl]

Voice your opinion on the poll: Who's The Daddy?

Well Upper East Siders, we all knew that this day was coming but after Jesse Walker’s little outburst... It’s been confirmed. Alexandra Vandervort is with child. There's a bun in the oven. She's eating for two. Now, what I couldn't help but notice is just how scarce she's been with the baby daddy deets so I've decided to try and shake things out. Let's not beat around the bush- cast your votes now.

Do you think it was Xander? I mean, we all saw how cozy those two were getting at Tripp's house party. Or maybe it was Parker who she recently locked lips with. Freddie we all know was tossed out our girl's front door by none other than Aaron Vandervort (wonder how he'd take that news). Or maybe it's one of our two Hunters- Logan has a track record and Jake seems to be her new arm-candy. Or maybe it's fan-fave and overprotective bestie Jesse, keeping it in the family, huh Jess? Maybe it was even Oliver Andrews. Alex was awfully quick to jump to his defence, fiercely. Or...another. If you decide to cast a vote for 'Other' be sure to let me know just who you think it is.

You know you love me,

xoxo ---Gossip Girl