noise dept.
roma★
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One Nice Bug Per Day
Fieri Frames
Show & Tell
tannertan36
Fai_Ryy
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titsay
gracie abrams
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
The Bowery Presents
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
Interview Vampire Daily
Sade Olutola
hello vonnie
#extradirty
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almost home
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@filthyslutsilike
Rough
Things have still been rough for me. I'm doing my best to take things one day at a time, try and meet new people and move on. I just still miss you a lot, I really thought you were my forever. I feel incredible amounts of guilt for what I did and screwing things up and I'm just unsure of how to move on from that. You still show up in my dreams causing me to wake up in a cold sweat.
A Birthday Wish
It's been so long since we talked but you're still there firmly lodged in my head. You probably don't think about me anymore, despite what you said it seems like I was never really that special to you but I still love you and can't get over you. My birthday is coming up and I'm absolutely dreading it as another landmark of being alone and hating everything. If I could have one wish for it though would be for you to reach out to me one more time, to get a chance to talk to have you accept how sorry I am for everything and maybe be willing to give me a chance. I know that's a lot, but it's all I can hope for.
waste your time on me and with me
Giving Space
This is really the hardest thing I've ever done trying to give her space. I can't help but want to message her constantly during my day. Instead I'm just stuck waiting for her to be ready to talk to me again. I know it's what she wants but I'm terrified she'll just forget about me and leave me waiting for a reply that will never come. It feels like there's just this festering wound and I want to do whatever I can to fix it but I'm forced to just wait and watch it till the right time. I just constantly hope today will be the day she reaches out, anytime my phone goes off I pray it's from her.
Available in the False Knees print shop
The song that always made me think of her
I'm always fuckin' up and wreckin' shit, it seems like I perfected it I offer you my love, I hope you take it like some medicine You tell me, ain't nobody better than me, I think that there's better than me Hope you see the better in me, always end up betterin' me
Always were my sunflower
My Toxic Trait
Well not really sure if anyone is actually reading this but I just got home from visiting a friend that gave me a rough therapy session so I’m here again. The next trait we’re getting into is that I’m selfish. I ultimately focus too much on what makes me happy and not what makes my partner happy. Hell this one is probably the root thing that’s caused all the other problems. I haven’t done as much to work on this one as I probably should but it’s because I’m not really sure how to. I’m basically addressing the symptoms of it and hoping it trickles down to more change. Hell I know ultimately wanting to work things out is a bit of selfish desire but I want it so bad that I can’t just give up on it. I need to be better at asking what she wants and learning how to address her needs over my own. I really hope she’s reading these and can believe anything I’m saying. Even just a message letting me know that she’ll consider letting me back into her life even if it takes time would mean the world to me, though I know that’s a selfish thing to ask for. Either way my friend suggested some therapy to help address my issues and I’m thinking that might be a good idea. He gave me some resources that I’m planning on looking into. If you’re reading this know I truly am sorry for everything I put you through.
My Toxic Trait
Well I guess here’s the next installment of me exposing my flaws and how I’ve been trying to change them. This one is a bit harder to explain but I collect people as possible future sex partners. It’s hard for me to view a friend as just a friend and not a possible future sex partner and have a urge to always be looking for more. It’s not healthy and it’s not fair to them. I think it stems from having a low self esteem, I don’t think I’m particularly attractive or have a lot to offer so I look for validation in new people and sex. There might be some sex addiction there too and finally being in a non monogamous relationship just poured fuel on it and I pursued it in a unhealthy way that wasn’t fair to my partner. I’ve been trying to curb this though I have completely stopped looking for new people and have stopped talking to all that I didn’t have some friendship built up with and just focusing on being friends. I’ve also been trying to find better ways to fill my time so I’m not tempted or interested in pursuing others. I’ve got a long road to go to be a better less garbage person, but I’m trying to get there.
My Toxic Trait
Well here comes the next in this series of why I’m a garbage person. I might as well go deep with this one and talk about one that’s hard for me to admit to, I’m manipulative. I don’t think I’m horrible with it but I guess that’s for others to decide really. It’s more I think too much about how I’m going to answer things or convince myself a white lie or omission here and there aren’t bad. Even all these posts might be a little manipulative because there’s one specific person I hope sees them and realizes I’ve admitted these things to myself and I’m trying to change them and she takes pity on me and is willing to talk things out. Though I’m also feeling a bit therapeutic with them putting out what’s in my head into words. Some parts of this I’m honestly not sure how to change but I want to, for others I’ve done my best to stop holding things back and sharing the truth warts and all. I’ve been toxic and I don’t want to be anymore.
My Toxic Trait
It has been pointed out to me by someone I care deeply about and am trying desperately not to lose that one of my toxic traits is that I go out of my way to help people and make myself seem useful. The more I think on that I think it’s because I feel like I’m never anyone's actual choice to be around. I’m always the person you settle for or just do something to appease so I have to be useful for you to interact with me. I know it’s not healthy and it’s something I have to change but it’s so rooted in there that feeling that no one will actually make time for me. This isn’t the best place to put this I know but right now I just need to vomit something out there.
The moment when...
Yuh get so close to someone that when they break your trust is like your whole image of them broke….but theres something in yuh telling them to forgive even tho its going to take time….
Yea. Thats me right now. But lil steps.
Sometimes just need a second chance to change how they’ve been and fix their life
This song is just- so perfect for this game
Trying to cope with things and this song just hits
