Finding &hearts; Brittany @findingbritt - Tumblr Blog

Finding &hearts; Brittany

@findingbritt

My name is Brittany. I am a Leo. I am 27 years old. I have a one year old daughter named Olivia. I’m 5'9. Somewhere along the way I lost me and I want to know who I am again. Originally this was a vanity project that I called a weight loss blog, until I gained all that weight back plus a few pounds. I started this journey January 1st 2014 at 337 lbs. The highest weight of my life; by 2016 I was 230 pounds. January 14, 2019 I am currently 307.9 lbs so there is progress that needs to be made. I want to be more than just my weight or my size and I know many people see me as much more than that but I don’t. I still don’t see how anyone can look past what is staring them dead in the face My life has become so much more than about losing weight. While losing weight is the main motive and mostly what I talk about. I also am a new person. Or I am becoming a new person, slowly but surely. I have a new outlook on an old life. I’ve finally left a very abusive relationship… somehow someway it still has a hold over me in a sense. Thats really a work in progress for me.. I want to be a strong role model for my daughter. I want to become a healthy person for her and for myself as well. If I ever make it to 179 lbs I am going to be running away to a state far far away the to finally cut ties with a place that I have felt so much pain. I like to think I am smart. I know I am a smart ass. I want to find a way to go back to college. I want to do all the things I couldnt do for 6 years while I was being controlled by another person. I tried for so long to make everyone like me that at this point if you don’t like me, you aren’t meant to. I can keep my friends laughing for hours If you find me funny, I love you.

1,130 posts

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I don't know who I know personally on this account because it has been a very long time since I've been up here. I just feel more comfortable sharing on this lovely website Tumblr lol. I am planning on oversharing because its just my public private journey lol. If you read it that's cool. If not, I saved a lot of money on therapy by using this as a diary, maybe.

So somewhere I read, and it could have been facebook or twitter or something like that, "if you're really trying to change, don't lie to yourself, you will only hold yourself back."

I am stuck awake at 1am on my day off because I decided to live a little and color my hair. I bleached it and then I put a Red Semi Permanent over it. Just something I wouldnt normally do but f*ck it. I Literally only have one life to live.

I'm learning how to budget my money for the first time in my life. I want to lose a little weight like 50 pounds just to fit clothes better and stand lighter on my feet. I have a 2 year old that Im learning how to parent on my own. My daughter's father was murdered December 2019 and six months earlier June 2019, my sister passed away in her bed to a Heart Arrhythmia in her early 30s. So yeah my world was rockkked. But here I am planning on making sense of it all.

So what is going to change with me:

I am going to focus on self care

I am going to focus on weight loss

I am going to focus on communicating my actual thoughts

I am going to go outside. (Big deal)

I am going to clean my room to a like new state and stop living like a stage 1 hoarder.

I am going to try new things.

Maybe I'll plant some herbs and learn to cook a little better.

I took a shower today I ate real food today and I cleaned my kitchen. And that was huge to me for so reason.

flabofsteel

Do you ever have that just “sludge” feeling when you know how to workout and eat right to be healthy but you just cant seem to jump back into it?

Same.

wellamarke

Today my seven year old cousin said, in reference to the subject of pirates:

“It’s one of my distant likes. I still really like it when it comes up.”

And I just had to record it somewhere because I think it’s such a wise and simple way of expressing an important concept. Sometimes I feel like I’m neglecting an interest if I don’t do anything about it for a long period of time, like I can’t really say I like it if I don’t keep it up, but no, it’s just… it’s a distant like. That’s its own thing now.

She gets philosophical when in fancy dress, apparently.

Fuck it.

I'm back. Because I damn sure need to find myself again.

kaywillruns

GUYS I DID IT!

My first 5K, the Cincinnati Cyclone’s 5K.

I had two goals: don’t walk and finish by 38 minutes.

I came in around 28 minutes!!!! Overall the course was less hilly than my course in my neighborhood, but there was one rough hill at the last half mile and then a hill to the finish line, which I think was pretty cruel.

When I was turning for that last hill and I knew I had less than .2 left, I almost wanted to cry. I knew I went fast at the beginning but I couldn’t believe I kept it up. I’m so proud and so excited!

I feel like a runner.