Hi, person. @findingniico - Tumblr Blog

I’m starting to care less about things. Thinking back when I was working hard to get people to appreciate what I do or understand why I do it, it was just so much pressure and stress. People never cared to say thanks or I appreciate you.

No one cared

And seeing when I put less effort, it’s all the same.

I feel caged and no one to turn to

I think I’m going to stop trying so hard to please the people around me, it’s no fun for me at all

Sometimes I just want to leave my city since no one ever wants to do things with me lol I just don’t feel wanted or people just take me for granted…i feel more lonely than usual ahhh

Maybe I’m a little old school but I really want quality time with friends. The people around me are too comfortable and are always on their phones. Typing that makes me feel like I’m some old man but idk I miss the days where we are all together and just talking with no distractions. Just being in the moment. Is that too much to ask for to the people around me?

I’ve been feeling so empty lately. Job is a little stressful but not too bad. I’ve been getting good sleep most nights. Not skipping any meals. Hanging out with friends every now and then. Buying what I want. Not really stressing on finances. But with all things said and done, I still feel empty. Only thing that somewhat makes my day, is random shopping.

Maybe I need a new hobby?

Sometimes I think I’m going forward but losing people along the way

I realized I’m not really suited for programming lol taking these database and programming classes..It doesn’t click with me. I’m starting to realize that I think I’m more of a people person or maybe just make my own business idk

I feel that I’m always taken for granted and never appreciated.

This is the only place where I can truly vent cause no one here really talks to me from my other socials lmao…so lately I’ve been feeling drained and my control on my life is getting out of control. I’m doing so much for people that I forget to take care of myself. I love that I have the ability to make people around me more happy by doing things that I can do with the resources I have lol but then when they’re all happy and content. I sit alone in my room thinking that my life isn’t like theirs. No one is really here doing the same to me…I try to keep my mind at ease by relaxing or being alone but then other responsibilities like school and bills creep up and then I just mentally breakdown and almost panic. Maybe it all comes down to me being too much of a people pleaser. I love my family and friends and seeing them happy makes me happy. I just sometimes people give me back the same effort but maybe that’s being a little too selfish? Idk there was a time when I just wanted to give up on everything and start somewhere new and tbh I would love to do that right now. Okay now a different topic lol I hate when I find something nice and want to show it to the people around to the point where I’ve watched it or experienced it multiple times but when we start watching or going to the place I’ve taken them and they just give an ounce of care to what I’m showing them…like I’ve seen this before I’m doing this for you guys but if you’re just not going to even fake that you’re enjoying it then I should just stop doing it all together. Idk this is probably the people pleaser part of me again lol I need to finish school and live somewhere else, no one really cares or put the same amount of effort I give to them and it’s slowly eating me away..oh one more thing! I love when I can catch up with people I haven’t talked with for years but then their replies are dry and uninterested…that kinda puts a bad taste in my mouth. I would love to catch up with you but if you give me everything is the same as always…yo am I boring you? Just tell me straight up that you don’t wanna talk and I can stop thinking why is it that we can’t have a decent conversation lol idk why I’m even typing this…schools stressing me out and no one really puts in effort

hiraimz

She is so lovely

findingniico

I love her sm

Keshi, David Choi, Young Justin Bieber and AM Kidd are my current rotation lmao

It’s hard you know. Honestly I just want some friends I can always talk to or just hit up. I’m just alone with my thoughts and don’t know what to do.

I can’t get Mr. Brightside out of my head

Missing my time in Cali

Looking through my page, so much nostalgia.

Hey

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Hi, person.