Finding Wonderland

I forgot about this place. But now, I remember. Now, I'm finding Wonderland.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Beauty

Beauty meant power The princess has a King, who lead wars and conquered kingdoms, wrapped around her fingers Prince, who slay mighty dragons and beasts, fall onto her feet So when did beauty become a weakness?

Beauty meant safe Moats and towers kept her from plain sight Dwarfs and talking animals always run for her defense So when did beauty become a threat?

When Beauty touches unholy ground The dead goes up their graves At the scent of beauty, not of brain

The darkness hid their rotten flesh Her naivety masked their stench Because in her eyes, they’re all the same For they call her “Beauty”.

Their dirty nails dug to her flawless cheek Making scars that could never heal The lips that once called her “Beauty” burned like coals on her flesh They grip her hair and drag her around, leaving a trail of virgin’s blood

As the moon become hidden by clouds The dead just left her on the ground She screamed for help yet no one came Because her face just wasn’t the same

For every rustling of the trees And every blow of the wind The fear inside her grew That the dead will be back But as the days passed by They never did

Because she was no longer “Beauty” And she was no longer wanted She had no power She was weak She was unarmed But she was no longer beautiful She was safe

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Sheep

Skin as white as unblemished snow

Lips as red as fresh blood

Hair as black as the darkest night sky

She’s the fairest of them all

  Her smiles light up the world

Her voice soothes their souls

Her stares warm their hearts

They call her beautiful

Too often, as if it’s her name

  And then he came

A sheep with magnificent wool

As beautiful as her

He claimed her as his own

Putting a crown on her head

Placing her on a golden throne

  He made her smile brighter

Her voice softer

Her stare fixed on him

  But it was never enough

  Suddenly

His touch burned and cut through her flesh

Forming scars unseen by the naked eye

  His kiss became a seal of her hellish fate

  His hug became a cage

Trapping her

Suffocating her

  His “I love you” became an insincere apology

  Blood dripped on her head

From the crown of thorns

Her body, unmoving

Strapped on her throne

  With her eyes wide open

She saw his big eyes

And sharp teeth

The beautiful sheep she fell in love

Was a rabid wolf

Dressed in wool

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Alice

Always dreaming

Yet never sleeping

She was caught up in a fantasy

She created in her head

  Growing older

Yet never growing up

He was always playing

The games where he always wins

  She got lost

Wandering in the enchanted forest

And found him

She instantly fell in love

Even when he didn’t offer his heart

And only promised

To teach her how to fly

  But she was just a player… a pawn

Caught up in his little game

Just like an innocent fly

Trapped in a spider web of lies

  In her pretty little head

She can win the battle for his heart

Cause in a world of talking rabbits and caterpillars

She was the fierce warrior who defeated the Jabberwocky

  But as he pulled her out of Wonderland

And brought her to Neverland

He let the pirates with hooks on their hands

Ripped the heart off her chest

And served it on a silver platter to the crocodiles

  She dragged herself back to Wonderland

Leaving a trail of her own blood

Still believing

Still hoping

That he’ll come after her

But he never did

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Boy

He was just another boy

Two weeks trapped in a room

And I didn’t even notice him

Got to know his existence

When we were forced to sit together

  He was just another boy

Who had a voice of an angel

He was able to tug my heart strings

As he sang every chord

Producing sweet melody

Making the butterflies in my stomach dance to the beat

  He was just another boy

Who became a friend

Someone whose smile shouldn’t cause my heart to flutter

Someone whose touch shouldn’t tickle my skin

Someone whose voice shouldn’t cause me to shudder

Someone whose presence shouldn’t light the darkest night

  He was just another boy

I kept on telling our friends

I repeat it over and over again

Not to convince them

But to convince myself

Because he wasn’t just another boy

He was the boy

He was the one

  He was just another boy

Well that’s what I want him to believe

But my heart was filled with too much love

That it might explode any time

Still I kept my feelings all bottled up

For I only have one heart

To give away

  He was just another boy

That’s what I tell myself

To save me from the pain

When he looked at her smile

I saw the yearning in his eyes

Because he found the one

  He was just another boy

Who I shouldn’t love

So I kept my distance

Letting my heart to forget

The boy who I thought was the one

  He was just another boy

Who I finally gave up on

Months of trying

I finally moved on

Now he truly is just another boy

Who taught me that I am capable of keeping my heart

Until my real love comes along

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Trust

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

Created her own prison

Locked all the doors so she couldn’t get out

She sat on the corner

Hid in the shadows

Together with the monster

She has become

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

Found by a wanderer

Who saw her on the tiny crack on the wall

“Open the door and let me in,” he said

“I’m just a boy, what harm could you get?”

She stayed in the dark

Too scared to respond

Too afraid to open her heart

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

Still terrified to open the door

But the boy had enough charm

To tear the walls down

He entered her life as if it was a walk in the park

Pulled her out of the shadows

And held her in his arms

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

But wore her heart on her sleeve

For the boy oozing with charm

Was able to earn her trust with just a smile

“Beautiful,” he called her

Reminding her of her worth

Promising the repeat it again and again until he could no longer speak

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

Who trusted a boy who made a promise

Trusted a boy who made a promise

A boy who made a promise

A promise

To call her beautiful

Until he could no longer speak

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

Who believed in a boy who called her beautiful

He didn’t lose his voice

Only lost his sight

To the girl he once promised to

Love for the rest of his life

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

Who no longer believed that she could be loved by another

For he didn’t just break his promise

But also break her heart

When he found another

Girl to call beautiful

There once was a girl who’s too afraid to trust

Created her own prison

Locked all the doors so she couldn’t get out

She sat on the corner

Hid in the shadows

Together with the monster

She has become

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Almost

When I was a kid, my teacher said that I almost topped the class

Almost

Because I was exemplary in Math, History and Science

But was terrible in Spelling

Almost

How I hate the word

Almost

A constant reminder that I’m not good enough

  When I was 13, while playing a friendly game of soccer

The jocks almost chose me to be part of their team

Almost

Because I had an A+ in theoretical soccer exam

But had a terrible case of asthma

Almost

How I hate the word

Almost

A constant reminder that I’m not good enough

  When I was 15, I met a boy who never failed to make my heart skip a beat

He said he almost fell in love with me

Almost

Because we had the same passion in reading novels and writing

But he said that I wasn’t pretty enough

Wasn’t smart enough

Wasn’t perfect enough

To deserve someone like him

Almost

How I hate the word

Almost

A constant reminder that I’m not good enough

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Beautiful

She opened her eyes

Disappointed that she's still alive

Another day filled with pain

Another day of endless shame

She was tired

and wanted this to end

Tonight

Tonight she'll no longer fight

Tonight

It will all end tonight

With her head down, as if trying to hide

She faced the crowd for one last time

Whispers started as she walked by

Eyes on her as if she committed a crime

Just as she tried to hide

A stranger came to her side

She braced herself, prepared for an attack

Ready to take a blow, ready to be mocked

But he just smiled

Flashing his crooked white teeth

She covered her eyes

For a smile was so rare it could make her blind

He called her beautiful

She didn't believe

For her ears were filled with hatred and mockery

He called her beautiful

Again and again

Until she believes

That night she went to sleep

Her dreams filled with hope

Her dreams filled with him

She opened her eyes

Thanking God that she's still alive

It may be another day filled with pain

And endless shame

But she knew her life will never be the same

With her head down, still trying to hide

She faced the crowd for one more time

Whispers still started as she walked by

Eyes still on her as if she committed a crime

And then suddenly, the stranger came

As if to protect her from all the shame

He called her beautiful

Again and again

Until it's all she hears

He called her beautiful

Making her forget

Years of torment

Years of living hell

He called her beautiful

And she believed.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Ready

Can we truly prepare for everything?

Can we truly be ready for anything?

Will we have enough practice before we are thrown into the wild?

No. Never.

Because it's not about learning how to swim,

Or testing the waters.

Sometimes, the ocean is thrown at you

And you just had to paddle to survive.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Shadows

She hid in the shadows

Afraid to be seen

She covered her lips

Ashamed to be heard

She kept her heart

Terrified to love

He stared at the darkness

And found her

Listened to silence

And hummed with harmony

He opened his heart

Ready to love

He stared not at her

but through her

He listened not to her voice

But her heartbeat

He didn't steal her heart

But offered his

She stepped out of the shadows

A nervous laughter came out from her mouth

She unlocked her heart

And freely let him in.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Anchor

He's on top of the mountain

Pulling me up

I'm on the ocean floor

Dragging him down

I cut the rope

And let him go

He's up in the sky

Soaring

Flying

Finally free

I'm no longer his anchor

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Everything

He's the wind

Who blows the book open

No matter how hard the book tries to shut itself

He's a boomerang

Who keeps coming back

No matter how many times I throw him away

He's a dream catcher

Who knows all my dreams and aspirations

No matter how much I try to hide them

He's a thousand balloons

Who lifts me up

No matter how much I try to pull myself down

He's the wind...

a boomerang...

a dream catcher...

a thousand balloons

He's everything.

He's my everything.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Coward

She turns him down every single time

Not because she wants to

Not because she likes hurting him

She turns him down every single time

Because she wants to protect him

protect him

from her

Because she'll end up disappointing him

Because she'll end up breaking him

She turns him down every single time

Because if there's one thing she's good at

It's running away.

She turns him down every single time

Because she loves him

She loves him

But she's a coward.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Fell

She fell in love because of his smile

He fell in love because of her voice

She fell in love because of his romantic gestures

He fell in love because of her thoughtful

She fell in love because of his intelligence

He fell in love because of her passion

Different people fall because of different reasons

I fell in love because he believed

He believed when no one else did

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Stare

Your eyes are like the scorching heat of the sun

And I'm like an ice cube

Melting as you stare

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

First

It isn't the way she looks at you.

Or how she holds your hand

Or how she whisper sweet nothings on your ear.

It's the way that you look at her.

Or how you hold her hand.

Or how you whisper sweet nothings on her ear.

It shouldn't matter

Because I was the one who couldn't stare at you.

I was the one who couldn't hold your hand

the one who couldn't whisper sweet nothings on your ear.

I was the one who left you.

I was the one who turned my back on you.

And now that I no longer have a hold on you

I realized how much I want you.

I was first.

I was first.

Now, I am the past.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Heart

I took my heart

and locked it in a chest

I buried it 6 feet under

Letting its screams be blocked by thunder.

As days goes by, it continues to haunt me

I could still hear it screaming

not my name but another's.

I dug my heart from the ground

And set it free

Truth be told, it did not jump back to me

It flew to your arms

It was finally home.

[findingtherealwonderland-blog]

Glasses

She wears glasses

not because she needs to

not because she wanted to look smart

She wears glasses

to cover her eyes

She wears glasses

because she fears that when people stare into her dark orbs

they will see through her

they will see her soul

her damaged and broken soul.