Idk

All of my thoughts

[findyourselfinyoursails]

You love to read, but you don’t even own one bookmark. I inspect each book after you leave it in your chair to do something else and there is no sign of a saved page. It’s a different book every time. I guess I don’t know that you’ve ever actually finished a book. Do you give up when the story gets too painful? When it reminds you of something? Someone?The past has never really been your friend, has it?

[findyourselfinyoursails]

When you know, you know The ringing in your ears will stop The purple flowers on the tree in your backyard will finally bloom You’ll get excited about anything and everything yellow The streetlights that have been burnt out for years will illuminate your path again His hands will fit in all of the spaces you thought you lost in the fire You’ll learn that sometimes thunderstorms turn into sun showers

[findyourselfinyoursails]

Don’t ask me why I feel like winter when you touch me Ask yourself why you let the flowers die in the spring Ask yourself why it rained all summer Ask yourself why you knocked all of my weak leaves to the ground instead of admiring their color in the fall

I’ll just tell you it’s because the season changed

[thishouseisalive]

Even when it’s convenient, we still aren’t kissing for courtesy.

thank you (via thishouseisalive)

[findyourselfinyoursails]

If my open arms could form words They would write you love letters That are flooded with our kisses That are as soft and sweet as your lips That get sticky when we eat ice cream in your car Which is my favorite place to have make out sessions That singlehandedly tell your backseat all of my secrets That I vow to always share with you I only keep my arms open for you

[findyourselfinyoursails]

The soft sound of rain kissing the windowsill is the only thing that reminds me that there is life outside of just the two of us. Our clothes are in the corner and the walls are breathing in sync with the moans coming out of your mouth. My nails adorn your back with pink lines that come together to create a portrait of our love. I think we belong in a museum.

[thishouseisalive]

Your name is engraved on my neck in the shape of your teeth. Like the words on the back of the ring you stopped wearing.

I noticed

(via thishouseisalive)

[findyourselfinyoursails]

There is desperation crawling out of the tips of your fingers and into the holes in my heart. I feel you gracefully knocking down all of the signs that say do not disturb on the way in. You’re opening and slamming doors instead of taking time to sit in the chairs and that’s how I know you’re just searching for the reset button. I close my eyes, breathe you into my lungs, and pretend you aren’t taking the easy way out.

[findyourselfinyoursails]

It has been raining for years now. There is a constant roll of thunder that is not quite loud enough to silence the self doubt that clouds the back of my mind. You're still holding the same torn umbrella. If I had a choice I would be my own umbrella and if lightning illuminated the sky it would show you leaving.

waiting on a drought

[findyourselfinyoursails]

I wake up to the soft sound of your legs shifting around mine This is the second time you’ve flipped your pillow over in the past hour You get out of bed to walk to the bathroom and all of the warmth leaves with you In the light, I see the sheet lines that are branded into my forearm from being in the same position for too long I haven’t moved once tonight You haven’t stopped moving once tonight Do hearts get restless too?

[findyourselfinyoursails]

He’s holding your hands and looking into your eyes long enough to count each freckle on your face and you think to yourself, this is it. This is the ocean tide pulling you in so hard that you lose your balance. This is giving in to the strength of the waves and letting yourself fall. This is not caring about drowning as long as your body is tangled up in his. This is it.

[findyourselfinyoursails]

Your fingers are intertwined with hers, but you can’t feel her heartbeat in her pinky anymore. The butterflies are dead and you’re grasping for the skeletons that are pouring out of the bottom of her dress. Every single one is slipping through your fingers along with all of the chances that she gave you to love her like she deserved. You desperately search for her eye contact, but it’s somewhere lying in bed next to the faith that she had in you.

[findyourselfinyoursails]

There are blades of grass in your hair from the thirty minute nap you took lying in the middle of your front yard Mom is still stuck on the 6 in your address that she is painting on the curb and you can hear her quietly cursing up a storm You wonder why she didn’t hire a painter to do it like your other neighbors did, but you know she’ll get the job done The summer air smells like wildflowers and chlorine and you imagine what it would be like to have a pool, but you know the baby sprinkler hose attachment will do You close your eyes and put your hands back behind your head soaking in the gratitude (a concept you will come to understand when you are older) that you feel to have a home and a mom who likes to do things herself 15 years later you still find yourself saying, Nice things don’t define you, you define nice things.

[findyourselfinyoursails]

We went to the airport to watch planes take off last night You kissed my hands and talked to me about how the passengers were so lucky to be going on an adventure But I know I’m the lucky one All of those people need airplanes to be in the clouds I just need you

findyourselfinyoursails

[findyourselfinyoursails]

My heart has been home to sadness for a long time I could never figure out how to take the pictures down
Or how to throw away the furniture where pain used to sit But you changed that Love lives here now

[findyourselfinyoursails]

I’ve spent a long time guarding my heart and being alone. I know I’m good at it. I am the only person that I know who won’t hurt me. I haven’t felt the desire to open the door to my heart since the last time someone slammed it shut. But the way you look at me makes me want to believe in something again. Life is more fun when the door is open.

[findyourselfinyoursails]

You make all of my thoughts float away
Or maybe it’s me that’s floating My feet just can’t seem to find the ground when I’m with you