I miss when there were YT videos with functional subtitles
$LAYYYTER
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr

shark vs the universe
RMH

Discoholic 🪩
taylor price
hello vonnie
tumblr dot com

Origami Around
Misplaced Lens Cap

Product Placement
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
official daine visual archive
YOU ARE THE REASON

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
d e v o n
occasionally subtle
Sade Olutola

pixel skylines
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
seen from Philippines

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh
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@fine-fletchings
I miss when there were YT videos with functional subtitles
Get more from Barry Deutsch on Patreon. Join for free or become a member for just $1/month. Hi! My name is Barry Deutsch, and to tell you th
earwigs | game changer
Oh, Max Miller, never change 😂
(Okay, for context, that was literally how the military described the improved packaging for k-rations. why? no idea.)
"Pine Rhizome" ⍋ David Read — cutaway photograph of a pine seedling and its root network
I’ve talked about the time the pony tried to garrote me with the electric fence wire but that wasn’t the end of my relationship with our wretchedly zappy environmental traps.
The property I grew up on was two acres and over my childhood we had various ungulates ambling along in the fields. There were horses, cows, sheep, and several types of goat. My parents would rent out the pastures or adopt an old sheep filled with tumors and then the wires would shift. Cow wire needs were different than goat wires.
These electric menaces were positioned without regard to how a young child would navigate them. The latches and gates were generally too tall for me to reach but that didn’t mean I didn’t clamber in and out of pastures. It just meant I got electrocuted a lot more than the average kid.
Pretty much no part of my body was exempt from the stinging bite of brushing against the charged wire. My least favorite was when it got my face. As a very logical result I abhor being shocked. My beloved wife tried to use electro on me when doing acupuncture and I had an instantaneous panic attack.
So imagine my surprise when I started working at the sex shop and there was a whole collection of toys dedicated to electricity. Right when I started there was a release for a rabbit toy that had metal panels on the shaft. My manager insisted I feel it so I could talk about it with customers and I flatly refused.
We also sold a small electronic box you could hook up to wires pads or toys that could be placed anywhere on your anatomy with various levels of intensity. I couldn’t fathom ever wanting that. It wasn’t a big seller, but every so often someone would come in for an electro accessory.
Which brings us to the man I’m calling Electrostim Georg. He bought the one piece of electrostim we never ever expected to sell. It was a metal sounding rod. If you’re unfamiliar sounding is inserting something into the urethra of a penis. We were all flabbergasted that this man wanted to gently electrocute the inside of his dick. We asked him to report back.
When he returned we were all waiting with bated breath to hear how his experience was. Sounding is already a somewhat dicey activity, and adding electro? We were on the edge of our seats.
“It was,” he informed us, “Like having thousands of simultaneous orgasms all at once in a never ending stream.” He went on to say he couldn’t leave it on very long because being electrocuted into experiencing thousands of simultaneous orgasms is extremely taxing to a body.
Afterward we stood together in shock. That’s what it felt like?
“Would you ever try something like that?” A coworker asked me later. “To experience a thousand orgasms?”
“Fuck no.”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Aww, a sort of hopeful little story about Immy leading the DSD gang into making meal time... if not good, at least better
I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now
Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.
Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.
Frog: turns around and eats the bug.
Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.
LAPTOP DEATH FILE PURGATORY IS OVER I HAVE MY CRAP BACK
It never fails to amuse me when I get “hello influencer” emails wanting me to push questionable products to my followers.
Like worstie, I can barely promote my own published book without wanting to curl up and die.
The fuck makes you think I’ll shill your discount wish shit?
Also, it's Tumblr. If I try to tell anyone about your knock-off Wish-quality sex toy there’s going to be a horde of Autistic lesbians doing a power point presentation in the notes about safe sex toy material and correct battery storage.
Which I am 100% down for, but it will not get you any sales.
I was trying to figure out if you were someone important on a other platform, because there's no way in hell anyone actually thinks you can be classified as "Influencer" if you have a big Tumblr blog.
And then also think advertising to this mob would be a good idea
There are actually lots of people who sell stuff successfully on here, usually drop ship stuff.
They’re just not disclosing it as ads, which they are supposed to do, and instead it's marketed in a very Tumblr-esque way which can be summed up as “omg guys look how CUTE this is” followed by a different account underneath going “omg found it!!” and it links to a drop ship site with the item(s).
And the link usually has an affiliate tracker in it, which you may or may not be able to spot unless you’re familiar with them, which is also something you are legally supposed to disclose.
I used to get a lot of offers from around 2016-2020 to sell “moon lamps” on here, y’know those orb lights that look like a moon? Yeah. I was offered a higher kickback to make it look like I wasnt posting an add because these sellers know Tumblrites don’t like ads.
They wanted it to look as organic and hyped up as possible and then I’d just so happen to be like “omg you guys it's on sale” and post a link. Which is skeevy as shit and also illegal af in the US.
It’s like the insta/tiktok girlies saying “link in bio” to get around saying “here’s a product I make money on if you buy it” because they want to sound like your friend because people are more likely to impulse buy stuff if a “friend” is recommending something.
They’re also trusting that everyone knows “link in bio” means “affiliate link” which is technically not enough of a disclosure but whatever.
This is why I tag all my own book promos with “affiliate links” because depending on which storefront you buy Hunger Pangs from, I may get a kickback from the vender which I do to help mediate the fees I lose from distribution. It’s not much—literal pennies in some cases—but I’m still legally required to state it.
It’s also why when I do post products I use or like, I make a point of letting people know I’m not an affiliate and not sponsored because despite the legal ramifications these people are flirting with by not disclosing their affiliate status, I want to be fully transparent with my followers when it comes to me trying to sell them things.
Y’all keep my lights on by reading my work and through my ko-fi and patreon. I am not about to risk that trust for the sake of some shitty vibrator sales from a sketch-ass drop shipper who wants me to pretend I’m not selling you things.
So, yeah. People do successfully sell stuff on here. A lot of us small indie creators sell our own work all the time.
But there are also drop-ship sellers on here who get enough of a kick-back from affiliate links to make selling cutesy kitsch stuff worth their time on here. They’re just making sure you don’t know you’re being marketed to.
Throwback to when I openly talked about this and got blocked by several huge “meme” blogs that were actually drop shippers who didn’t like me lifting up the rock and exposing how they hide their ads in plain sight lol
It was pixel art day on twitter a couple days ago so have these pieces that i’ve been hiding away for a couple months!!
You get eight improvisers (including two full time musical improvisers and... three(?) gremlins) on a stage and before the 4 minute mark they've all singing the song they've made up for the occasion I can't imagine a better world
Why he light skinned?
Because Martin Luther was white and German.
did…
did someone confuse Luther with Jesus omg
I suspect they confused him with Martin Luther King
I mean, I get mixing them up based on names alone, but I’m concerned about the people who think Martin Luther King Jr. routinely wrote with a quill or dressed like a Renaissance man.
At that point it’s your own damn fault for making that kind of mistake
but why is martin luther the fastest sold playmobil figurine
Protestants be shoppin
World Heritage Post
Shhhh, don’t tell him…
Your cousin Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg wrote that you are a predator.
The GOP is a damn death cult that is desperately trying to bring about their christofascist apocalypse. We must vote out every wretched Republican from the federal government all the way down to local city councils and school boards!
Dracula, climbing the walls like a lizard: Jonathan my good human friend Jonathan, on a scale of 1-10 how would you rate my normal human behavior?
Jonathan, clutching a crucifix and shaking like a wet rabbit: *holds up 10 card*
Dracula: Thank you human friend Jonathan, I expected as much, as I am also a normal human. Please excuse me I must take this squirming sack to the locked wing for normal reasons, write your friends some letters about how happy and not about to be eaten you are while I’m gone.
I was looking at gifs from a movie made in the 70s and thought “Actors weren’t as attractive back then”
And I felt bad for a second but you know what? It’s true, so many movies from the 60s-80s, and lesser so but still more than now in the 90s and early 2000s, had casts that looked much more like regular people. Every single actor didn’t have to be the most attractive person they could find for the role
I love Mad Max: Fury Road but compare the casts to Mad Max Road Warrior.
VS
Winter stuck in one place with kids while going mad psychological horrors The Shining vs The Lodge, down to the family in car and Kubrick state similarities
I don’t need everyone to be adorable and attractive just let me see people who look like people in movies
And not just the actors themselves but the styling, they all have to look as impeccable and attractive as possible. Let’s compare how some of the biggest actors in the US looked in some of the biggest romcoms of the 80s and 90s, When Harry Met Sally and You’ve Got Mail
To some of the biggest of the 2010s and 2020s, Crazy Stupid Love and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
Can no one be comfortable? Unkempt? Must all clothes be fashionable and tailored, all hair perfectly styled? Must everyone be as attractive as possible in every scene?
(Reading a 1952 publication from the Merchant Marine Council for reasons)
I've never seen THIS mark before. But it's very tumblr to me. "Read this. Pass it on. Everyone needs to know."