I was fine before you left.

Chronicles of a sad person living a sad life.

[finebyl]

[remanence-of-love]

By you only…

[finebyl]

[finebyl]

Visions

I miei organi si riversano sul pavimento

mentre un corvo rovista su un cumulo di macerie

in mezzo a quello che rimane delle mie interiora

Cercando invano di ricomporre i pezzi

riempio i vuoti con dei sassi

che al mio tocco diventano polvere

L'incessante ricerca di una via d'uscita

il mio corpo cede

nella quiete della notte

Ricucirò gli strappi

con ricami in seta colorata

una luce fioca illuminerà le cuciture

e una piccola cicatrice bianca.

[finebyl]

Once I pass'd through a populous city imprinting my brain for

future use with its shows, architecture, customs, traditions,

Yet now of all that city I remember only a woman I casually met

there who detain'd me for love of me,

Day by day and night by night we were together-all else has

long been forgotten by me,

I remember I say only that woman who passionately clung to me,

Again we wander, we love, we separate again,

Again she holds me by the hand, I must not go,

I see her close beside me with silent lips sad and tremulous.

[harrymckenzie]

Again and again and again and again and

[finebyl]

holding you until you fall asleep and it's just as good as I knew it would be

[finebyl]

acceso che fai? spegni se puoi la nera visione

tu sei già divino e già mi hai diviso niente in più.

― Verdena, Nera Visione

[finebyl]

It turns out I’m not dead.

I've been thinking about this post so much, that whatever words I may use from now on will sound nonsense or useless. Ahah. So I'll just let it out without thinking that much about it. Since I deleted all the previous stuff and left just a couple posts about loneliness that I wrote months ago, I felt like I should give my followers (7 people are actually following me, I'm impressed!) an explanation. Something like "why I suddenly disappeared and eventually came back here". The truth is, there's no reason why. Or, maybe, I want to believe that. I didn't abandon this page on purpose, I suddenly stopped being sad (unbelievable, isn't it?) for reasons I'm not willing to explain at the moment. But, guess what? I'm back here! I was able to fuck it up again. So, I guess you'll have to put up with me sharing super depressing thoughts and complaining about my life for a little while :)

[finebyl]

I tried to remember the exact moment I started to feel this way; I couldn't. I think I always felt like this... Maybe I was just pretending to be happy in order to protect myself. I feel so sad, so empty.

[finebyl]

I have spent so much time for so long trying to help others, that I forgot to help myself first. I can't remember when I started feeling this bad... Is there a way out?