so i returned briefly to re-break my own heart. why not bring you lot down with me? :^) happy holidays, sinners. under the cut for length. no happy endings here, folks.
“Things’ve been pretty quiet, lately. Somethin’ big’s
probably about t’ happen.”
He was sitting upright in his bed, legs stretched out before him and an arm around the smaller figure to his side. He didn’t bother looking—he could feel the Soldat’s head raise up to study him curiously.
“You don’t really sound concerned. You should be
careful, Bazz.”
Was that worry in his voice? Of all the people to worry about him—but then again, maybe he was the only one that really could. No one knew The Heat’s weaknesses better.
“Ya just worry too much, Tobe. Seems like all ya do,
these days. Relax, will ya?”
A sigh, and this time he did look to see the pout he knew would be forming along the other man’s lips. It caused his own to pull back in a mischievous grin.
“Of course I’m worried. You’re not taking any of this
seriously anymore.”
“How would ya even know?”
And there just a hint of a tone in his voice, now.
“You know how. Even now, should you really be
here? Bazz, you know this is just—“
The finality in his voice made it clear he didn’t want the conversation to continue. Because he knew where Tobias was going with it. This is just a dream. You’re still sleeping. As if the waking world had any more purpose for him. His entire purpose for as long as he could remember was to take down Yhwach. Even that had seemed less and less important, the more he found another reason to live.
And then that reason had been taken from him. Quite literally right out of his arms. Even painting the walls with the party responsible hadn’t brought him solace. It had been so sickeningly unsatisfying. Would successfully killing Yhwach have the same effect? If it was a lesson to be learned, he thought it wasn’t one worth sacrificing Tobias’ life for.
“There ain’t much left for me back there. If I thought
it wouldn’t shred the last bit’a respect Kaede’s got for
me, then I’d tell ‘er t’ jump ship, too.”
But he’d probably lose her, too, one day. When that happened, the last small light in his world would go out and he’d have nothing left. As far as he was concerned, he was just preparing for the inevitable.
“…Well, I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”
His grip on the Soldat tightened and his face lowered to bury itself in familiar spikes of dark hair.
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