SHAKE RATTLE & ROLL @fingerlickin - Tumblr Blog

Awaken, my luv ..

Spiraling a tiny bit!!

Car getting worked on and some important fixes happening but the major issue requires another grand plus maybe many more once it’s properly diagnosed, so may be a sell/trade get a new car situation - lots of anxiety around this!!

My day off yesterday was spent at work bc the car guy is on the block and he said to bring it in the morning and he’d get me a loaner but it ended up taking all day so I was there instead of doing what I needed to do at home/relaxing and I wanted to cry soooo bad. “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” Plus side I logged some hours and he’s letting me drive his car for free so I can’t really be mad.

But also I just feel like a pouty brat and I want someone to put the fucking clean duvet on and go to the store to grab Dijon and mayo and a lemon for me so I can make tuna salad for dinner bc I’ve been eating like shit the last few days and feel so fat and I’m tired and feel depleted and work is a lot all this month and I always have to do everything for myself!! And I left my lunch on the counter this morning so all that was wasted and then I took the work van home tonight bc I’m picking up plants tomorrow in the east bay and it was on fucking empty so I swung back around to the studio but of course the credit card wasn’t there so I had to drop 50 bucks to put like 5 gallons in and jesus gas prices just feel so demoralizing right now

And maybe I want to move to the city later this year bc I commute an hour each way everyday and the public transit options would take double that which is so dumb and I’ve never worked in the city I live in which I know is most peoples situation and I live in a beautiful place where I can have a lil veggie garden in the side yard and a roommate who is basically here like four weeks a year but potentially not going to keep the arrangement and maybe I need to make a decision based on my own desires not involving anyone else. But also I would inevitably have less space for more money and I don’t want random roommates and it just feels overwhelming to think about, and now I have two cats lol. And I need a fucking haircut!!

And my mom selling her house to move closer the the bay bc she lives in a gorgeous coastal town that’s quite remote and she’s getting older and wants to be nearer her granddaughter and my brother and I, and it really hit me that next weekend is the last chance I have to go there and I’m going but man I got sooo sad when I was talking to her about it the other night. She also told me she found a coffee bag that one of my very best high school friends had mailed her when she just moved up there that had a note written on it that said something along the lines of “you created one of my favorite people in the world” and I don’t have any contact with that person anymore and I burst into tears. And that was time and distance and came kind of naturally but I did reach out last year and they had the same number but the convo didn’t last long and that’s fine but also dang! Such a loss! And I just really really feel bad still that my best friend won’t talk to me and that’s partly my fault and also partly years of unclear communication that I can only control one side of and I don’t have the access to rectify now. But maybe things will change with time, I will be hopeful.

#vent journal #gratitude journal #ughhhhh I feel kinda better now

#literally what sounds better than this #dreamscape #gratitude journal #I remember the first time I reallllyy heard this song was a few months ago driving thru Sonoma county hitting the coast windows down #and it was blissful #Spotify

zegalba

Zarcero topiary garden (2007)

#dreamscape #so sick

kap-wa

Old Growth by Mitch Epstein (2021–2023)

escuerzoresucitado

#oh mmm geee #my shit #new tunes #Spotify

#Spotify

Billie bb cat

#my mustachioed princess #William for short #gratitude journal

Got a bb kitten last week and been taking a pottery throwing class this month, I love it. I made six bowls of various sizes, kept trying to make a cylinder for a tall mug or vase type thing and they just turned into bowl shapes - it’s so much harder than I thought it would be but that’s awesome and today I went to trim my last four and I’m really proud of those ones. Glazed two today and gotta get there this weekend to glaze the remaining so they get fired before the cutoff!!! I’m so excited to see how the glaze turns out! Amazing that it’s unknown until it’s out of the kiln but once I realized the pieces were gonna be wonky anyways I just decided to try stuff. My littlest bowl is gonna be sparkly black and another one will be matte-ish saddle brown with white amoeba speckles :) (hopefully!)

#extracurricular activities #gratitude journal