Friend A: "I just realized that this is about attention economy and the new prevalence of attention overwhelm and my mind is blown a little bit."
Friend E: "I saw another meme that compared texting to leaving a card with a request or other message on it with the butler, so the person you wanted to talk to can get back to you later once they're done with whatever they are doing. It makes sense. And isn't that why answering machines and voice-mail were invented? So you could leave your message with a virtual butler?"
Once answering machines became widespread, certain people would call when they knew you weren’t home because they wanted to leave a message on a non-urgent matter and let you take your time to respond. Other people would only call when they knew you were home because they felt entitled to demand your time on any little thing
There were plenty of articles and talk show segments in the 90s with people complaining about people using their answering machines to screen calls while they were home. The complainers didn’t care if they were calling in the middle of dinner, they claimed you were the rude one for not answering the phone
The complaint is basically the same, they’ve just updated it for newer technology
Re-sharing this to add: I have figured out which of my friends don't put their phones on silent when they're asleep/whatever, and I will literally stockpile things I plan to send them and wait for them to wake up rather than risk it chiming then, or I will send things in a group discord or via Twitter DM or something else where I know they won't see it right away, if I know they shouldn't be answering for whatever reason.
And I absolutely liken it to leaving sticky notes on their screens for when they wake up.
Most of my friendships are international, and formed through phone apps etc because of fandom, and i love waking up to someone's stream of thought, or a cute birb they took a photo of, and i love leaving them little things as well.
it's like sending postcards without having to trek to the mailbox -- but it's no less meaningful just because i didn't expend physical effort to do it.
Honestly - if I didn't have my little pocket community, I would be isolated and alone.
I have been trying to explain exactly this feeling to some of my fifty-plus friends who make every excuse to not go online. I certainly wouldn't recommend social media to them, but I really try to impart that whole idea of postcards and love letters and communication literally at my disabled fingertips.
