FireinHerWords

Mostly spilled thoughts, ideas for a future book, or secrety things. So please do not screenshot. I write it for my sanity and mental health.

[nixscriptum]

[fireinherwords]

"I want an end."

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"I have a knack for blocking people when the mere idea of them feels unsafe to be let in my circle. Like they're making my view ugly or they're going to take something I'm not willing to give.

I find every space in my mind universe precious. That is why."

-C.

[fireinherwords]

(About My Heart)

"Why do you read?"

"Sometimes, I am blessed to read words that feel like magic. Despite the mundane and all the encompassing, they make me feel alive again. And for a little bit, while I read, it's like I am living a life I like again. So, why won't I read?"

-D.

[fireinherwords]

"How do you find people to date?"

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"How do you find people to date?"

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"Where do people go for vacation?

Looking for something like the place in "Meet Yourself" drama.

Clean, relaxed, quiet, good people, fantastic view, friendly culture, non-corporate, has cafes and horse riding spaces, good food. Affordable too even for long run stays.

Oh, and where English is the common language.

Real ask for advice."

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"You can't force people to love you like you need to be loved, or to do for you what you need help most.

You can only ask for help, demand, shout, yell, and rage so many times. Then you get tired. You stop expecting. You'd decide you'd rather do it on your own and live without some things than constantly get hurt and disappointed because people who you believed are supposed to care for you simply just keep failing.

You'd still think they matter. But you know what's the bad effect? Somewhere along the way, it'll get hard to believe you do matter.

Now that would be a fight. Promise me you'll win.

Because regardless of how much the world and people you love disappoint, you matter. You do. And I need you to know that and to treat yourself like you know, like it's law."

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"I just want my family to be loved, not just by me or each other, but by other people too. That's it. That's my wish."

-C&D.

[fireinherwords]

"In this busy life, I guess someone who still checks on you just because, with no malice or evil or selfish motives, is nice to have."

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"Sometimes I feel embarrassed for myself. Did love pass me by? Did fun and adventure leave and can they not come back? If they come, can I accept them? Will I be able to?

There is a role I have to play. There are tasks I have to do. Breadwinner. Eldest daughter. Guardian of the family.

Maybe in another life. Like those isekai stories that always bring me comfort.

But how is it really hard to find a happy ending right here? People who would love, support, provide for, protect and dote on me so I can be free to be me and just live my life happily. Make choices that are actually good for me, and not choices that I made in settlement of being able to be what other people need from me.

Where are my support people? In another universe? In the afterlife?

When will I have my turn to live such a happy and free life?

I didn't even know what I had when I had it. I only learned it when I lost it.

So this is the meaning of life.

Huh.

To once have been a child who wanted to be an adult.

Only to become an adult who wants to be a child."

-Foolish Thoughts by D.

[fireinherwords]

"That moment when you need to look for a next job, but all you want is to retire."

-C.

[fireinherwords]

How many people in the world, when asked why they love someone, would be able to answer 'Just because'?

-D.

[fireinherwords]

"Do you have any idea why no one offered you a hand that time you were barely holding it all in, trying not to break down?"

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"You know what's funny?

I stopped caring and I stopped expecting.

Whether you're a good brother or not, whether you're even a brother or not...you stopped mattering much to me.

You disappointed me too much for me to trust and place confidence in you. You disappointed even yourself. But you stopped caring about that too.

So then why should I?"

-D.

[thepersonalquotes]

[fireinherwords]

"The life that you want is one dream away."

-C.