FireinHerWords

Mostly spilled thoughts, ideas for a future book, or secrety things. So please do not screenshot. I write it for my sanity and mental health.

[fireinherwords]

"I want to leave, and not go back."

-D.

[fireinherwords]

A parent should at least feel ashamed to point out or question a child's hate for weakness and incompetence, when said parent's incompetence and lack of preparation is the reason the child has no other choice but to be strong and capable.

[fireinherwords]

Just one person who'll remember to bring a coral rose (a flower I like) to my grave.

That's it, really.

[fireinherwords]

First time I had to report workplace bullying. In a fortune 500 company no less.

Is this a right of passage?

-D.

[fireinherwords]

I hate this world.

[fireinherwords]

"I just want to be loved, to be seen and heard, be treated right, be chosen as the only choice. And not treated like an outcast or somebody they won't even care to lose. I just want that for me. Just to be made to feel important, treasured, treated as one of a kind. Not looked down on, not pushed aside, not embarrassed."

-D.

[fireinherwords]

The human body is weird.

The brain thinks of all depressing and angering things that end up making oneself unhappy.

But wear the body out. Spend time to bond with people you love. And when you end up tired and spent, and thinking of fun and enjoyable worthy things, the anger vanishes like a bubble. And so does sadness. So does sadness.

And you start to see things that make you grateful again.

-D.

[fireinherwords]

To write and to erase.

I feel like a writer who is stuck without a pen and paper.

Not because I don't have the ability.

Not because I don't have the feelings or the words.

But because I have to live my life providing and caring for the people who make me feel so hurt and miserable inside.

Not because I don't love them.

But because they don't give me the freedom or love I need to grow.

Not because they don't care about me.

But because they aren't caring for themselves enough to unburden me, that I always have to step in. Because they rely on me for too much more than I should be deciding to give.

Because I am an eldest daughter of a widowed mother and a son who is stuck between having to stay and wanting life to end.

And of us three, I am the one who is trying to thrive on life.

It is painful. It is hurtful. It is worth it...but sometimes, most times...I feel the tears stuck inside. I cannot cry because what would be the point?

It isn't like I didn't ask for help. I did. I screamed. But nothing changed. Nothing changed.

And it. just. hurts.

[fireinherwords]

"Between dying and living, which truly is more painful? And which leaves more impact?"

-D.

[vexheart]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Maria Eugenia Calderara, from Poems of Exile; “I Still Don't Know Your Name,”

[quotefeeling]

“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.”

— Ella Jane Fitzgerald

[fireinherwords]

"And if the people you'd like to run with don't take a step, maybe run alone first. Decide later if you wanna return.

But for the love of yourself, start.

Sometimes people you love and support hold you back without meaning to. Because they are content where they are as they are.

But if you're not then that's your sign. Chase your dreams. Don't let other's choices make you regret your own life."

-C.

[fireinherwords]

"I want a happy beginning, and an even happier ending."

-D.

[fireinherwords]

"If I throw words out there, and it causes someone to sin, does that make me a bad writer? A bad person? A bad soul?

If I throw a rock somewhere, and someone picks it up to hit someone in the head, does it make me a bad person? A bad soul? Just bad?"

-Ridiculously Funny Things My Mind Comes Up with When Tired

by C.

[fireinherwords]

"Between saving and spending on vacations, how do you decide?

Cause to be honest, something always wins. Something always wins."

-D.

[fireinherwords]

"My happy moments...

are the start of the words I want to write about.

No one knows how rare they are. Perhaps not even me. I wonder if all the times I wasn't looking, happiness had been trying its hardest to look for me.

I want to wave both hands and yell I'm here. I'm here. Won't you come?

I'm here...I'm just here."

-C.