So this is turning out WAY more romantic and self indulgent than I planned. Lmk what you think cause im đł blushing at myself rn.
This level of daydreaming is normal and healthy, right?
Been sitting on some thoughts about a gassy Alex, so I thought id finally share them. This isnt a coherent plot or anything, just my imagination going in roughly chronological order.
Warning! Contains fictional fart imagines about a real person! Dont like? Look away!
Alex is definitely your stereotypical guy when it comes to fart humor. He thinks theyre hilarious, if a bit crass. The key part here being that hes actually *incredibly* shy about his own farts. He hides just how gassy he is unless hes alone, or already been cutting loose with some friendly encouragement.
This is actually the exact scenario in which you first witness his secret gassy talents. A party of some kind, long after 95 percent of the attendees left, leaving only you, him, his closest bros, and maybe their dates. He wouldnt have started the fart jokes, one of the more shameless friends would have gotten everyone else going. After a few minutes of them joking and laughing and pranking eachother ("Fire in the hole!", "Pull my finger!", "Bet you cant do better than this!"), probably some light teasing of him as well trying to convince him to participate, Alex would finally blow the competition away. Literally. His shows of gastrointestinal prowess would be loud, boisterous, and effortless as he sent his friends and the rest of the remnants of the party into hysterics.
Stories would start to flow from his friends of just how insane his farts were all his life. Shocking to all who were there to listen. The time he warded off a bully with nothing but a well timed rip. The time he made his friend's dog yelp and hide for the rest of the birthday party one year. The time he covertly delayed a test in school by making the classroom so noxious the teacher had to go home for the day, giving everyone an extension.
All these stories known only to him and his bestest few friends. And now their dates. And now you. The other dates were doing the typical "Ew!" and "Gross!" while laughing along. You of course, were overjoyed and incredibly aroused that this hunk of a man you met a week ago had such gassy talent hidden away. (Who knew he could make music from both ends?)
The final story doesnt finish however, though only you notice why and how, since youre the only one actually listening and not losing their mind at the simple mention of a fart.
One of his friends starts a new story between fits of laughter, somethign along the lines of: "And-and then.... *laughter* there was this one sleepover where Zane and - *more laughter* Zane and I had the bright idea to try this fucken..... trick we saw on the inter-". Your ears perk up because you know exactly what hes talking about, and so does Alex. You watch as, with a swiftness you havent seen from him before, Alex plants his jeans clad ass directly in the face of his friend, cutting his story off short, and rips the gnarliest most boisterous fart of the night directly in his poor friends face. Everyone is sent into an uproar of laughter once again as Alex and his friend struggle for dominance on the floor, now wrestling like idiots. Alex wins, of course, not without the help of his gym routine and a few more well timed guffs.
Nobody else is privy to what exactly just happened. They dont really care, of course. Alex does however. You can tell because his face is shades of red you didnt think possible to achieve by human skin. You can tell that he knows that you know. He doesnt meet your gaze for the rest of the night, wich admittedly doesn't last long. His friends are out of gas for their little party trick (though Alex isn't, not that he'd admit that). Everyone goes home, and you and your date approach his car together.
(ignore that this isnt at night)
Like a gentleman, he lets you in the car first. He's still blushing. You sit in the passengers side seat alone for a touch longer than youd expect to be normal, though you cant see what could have held him up. He opens the car door and as hes sitting down, a loud, ripping, and wet sound comes out of his ass as he sits.
"Was saving that for the grand finale, but everyone left before we got there. Looks like you get a front row seat." he says, giggling and avoiding eye contact. You giggle along, youre not suddenly above thinking farts are funny just because you also get off to them, though your gaze never leaves him. He gets redder yet and sits in silence for a while.
"I know its only been like a week, so sorry if" he gestures to the house and then to himself "all that was too much. Just got caught in the moment." his smile has faded as you can see the defensive self conciousness take hold of his face.
"Oh not at all." you say to him, never breaking your eye contact or your slight, coy smile. "In fact nothing you did tonight turned me off from you at all."
His face eases, which makes you smile more. You both notice the smell from his last fart for the first time, though only he reacts to it with a laugh, fanning the air, and a slight "Sorry about that."
You go in for the kill. "It actually had the exact opposite effect, I would say." This makes him break out of his embarrasment and helps him make eye extended eye contact with you for the first time in two hours. You see his smile half fade into a look of confusion, as he considers your words. You decide not to spell it out for him yet. He looks you up and down.
He notices how youre leaning towards him over the middle console of his car. He notices how youre still smiling at him like you have been for two hours. He notices how you *didnt* react to the smell he just released into the car not 3 minutes ago. His smile never fades, but you watch as he starts to put the pieces together in his head. You dont think hes completely got a grasp of just how ravenous you can be, but does seem to get that you arent like most people when it comes to farts. His face shows no signs of disgust or disapproval.
It would be him who breaks the trance of being lost in each others eyes. He tests his theory on you with another fart into his car seat. Closing one eye to push harder. This one is smaller, like someone doing a tiny raspberry with their lips. (though you are keenly aware of which pair of lips this one came from). Neither of you react openly to it, confirming his theory. He leans in and kisses you, sweet and tenderly with his hand on your chin. (lets say this is your first?) The kiss goes as long as you both want it to, because it feels right, like butterflies in your stomach, like you both are gonna be seeing much more of each other.
"Lets get you home." he says, sweetly, smiling bigger than youve seen all night.
~~~~~~~~~~
After a while, you two would have been on a few more dates. Very romantic though not too extravagent. Local diners he has childhood memories of, seeing movies that would be dealbreakers for both of you (if he doesnt like rocky horror, throw him out). It's been roughly 2 months of seeing eachother since the party, and no you havent had sex yet (hes a good christian boy, remember?). Neither have there been anymore gassy displays of his talent, outside of the occasional slip up that he jokingly denys, or fart during his sleep after hes passed out during the 20th episode of Hotel Hell (INSANE show btw).
This changes, however, the night he takes you to a bowling alley.
An all night bowling alley with an arcade and a skating ring. Not prohibitively expensive either, which makes how long it took you two to go here a crime, honestly. A triple date with two of his friends you met at The Partyâ˘, though they wouldnt be participating in the gassy antics that would ensue.
Skating was first, though you both quickly realized you are shit at skating, making it a hilarious but short lived endeavor. Thankfully no injuries, other than to your ego. You six decide to start bowling. Just enough people to fill an aisle, and just enough people to avoid needing to stand up and sit down so close together to make you want to die. The night was going perfectly and it had barely even started.
Not to mention, Alex was looking *particularly* nice in that outfit. Short sleeves show off his big arms and small tattoos. He had mentioned wanting to crop it himself since he had been growing more comfortable in shorter shirts. You find yourself wishing he had before tonight. Those jeans he was wearing, though, were what was really driving you crazy. You had never seen a pair fit someone *just so perfectly* before, though it wasnt crazy enough to be drawing the attention of everyone in the establishment. It was a perfection that only someone with a habit of oggling at his behind would notice and appreciate. You find yourself wishing his turn was after yours, as everytime he gets up to bowl you end up so distracted you only barely realize its your turn already. How anyone let someone like you in public is beyond you, truly.
You dont think you are alone in this, however, as you noticed that Alex has been looking at you with eyes youve only rarely seen him allow to be obvious. Whether its intentionally obvious, youre not sure. What you are sure of is that you are not the only one who appreciates the outfit you picked out today.
Time for a small tangent: His apprent overwhelming desire is suprising to you. Though you two havent had anything resembling intercourse before, you havent exactly been prude about sex or its related topics either. Neither has there been any sort of agreement, implicit or otherwise, about waiting for marriage for that kind of thing. You and Alex have shared many an intimate detail and moment together; stayed the night with each other, shared a bed, gotten back pimples he cant reach, etc. You were letting these moments come naturally whenever they do. Especially after the interesting undertones of what was essentially your first real date, you wanted him to go at his own pace. (Also considering that you have had a few sexual partners and even shared this information with him, minus the gory details. His omission of any of his has caused suspicion in you that he has not had any.)
The game goes on for a long while like this, considering theres six participants. Eventually it becomes obvious who is going to even have a chance at coming out on top, Alex and his friend Zane, though you are outdoing even your own expectations by coming out in a solid third.
Halfway through the second game, Zane's date had gone to the bathroom and the other couple had went to the food court to get refreshments and another pizza. Zane gets a spare and taunts Alex with his assuredly very macho display of bowling prowess.
The tv screens indicate its now Alex's turn, though at this point nobody needs reminding of the order. He grabs the dark red bowling ball he picked out before the first game, claims he "doesn't even need bowling shoes to do better than you, Zane" and bowls down nine of the pins with a flourish.
"Lets see if you can do at least as good as me then, knuckle head." Zane says, earing a scoff from his friend. You see a single bead of sweat rolls down his forhead, on the side of his face only you would be able to see from your angle, while he waits for his ball to return. Clearly theres something else on his mind.
"Watch and learn, amateur!" he says as he walks up to bowl, rather too swiftly. He loses his footing and falls forward, thankfully not too spectacularly. The fall however was not the problem. A loud, fluttering, and wet fart explodes out of his ass. It goes on for about 5 whole seconds as Alex's face takes on a shade of red you know all too well.
Either Zane doesn't see his face or doesnt care much for public humiliation (he was always more comfortable with these kinds of things) and says, "Yea yea yea, gasbag we are all very impressed with your mastery of the force, now hit the pin!" Alex swiftly dusts himself off and (much more carefully) bowls down the last pin. Hes put on a normal face, but you see right through his facade as he sits back down on the bench mext to you. "You know, Alex," Zane continues, "chemical weapons aren't allowed in bowling."
"Ohh like you would know, Mr. 'I've Read Every Rulebook on Bowling Ever'." your date retorts, his voice unfaltering to everyones ear except yours. "Its your turn, by the way." he says trying to move on from the moment.
When you go up to bowl, you cant help but smell it. Not too horrible, but not ignorable either. Just like that night two months ago. You bowl, completely averagely, and return to a new pizza and drinks brought back to the table. You sit next to Alex who has suffieciently dodged the moment he desperstely didnt want, in public no less. You place a hand on his thigh as he continues previous conversations with the others. You squeeze tight enough to hopefully relay a twofold message. Reassurance, and also desire.
The game ends, Zane taking first, Alex second, and you third. Exactly as you expected. You all decide to try out the arcade. Most of the games are two or one player, meaning you will get more alone time with Alex.
"Sorry about that, earlier." he says, while you are trying a game that seems to be an off brand Galaga, "Im not lactose intolerant necessarily, but pizza kind of always does that to me."
"You know im not bothered by that, sexy." you say taking your full attention away from the game and giving it to him. He blushes again at your boldness and comfort in semi-private public. The game over jingle plays and the game prompts you insert another credit.
"R-right uhm, lets go try out this game!" he manages to stammer.
He leads you to a basketball game on the back wall of the arcade, where most of the older and more dejected games reside. "I'm crazy good at these." he claims.
"Oh really? Cause im dogshit at basketball." He inserts a credit and looks back at you with a coy smile.
"Well then, watch and learn." he says, almost a whisper. The callback to 30 minutes ago giving you slight chills.
He proceeds to play the game perfectly, not that these games would be hard for someone with even a slight grasp of basketball related skills. Swish, swish, swish, over and over for 2 and a half of the 3 minutes he is alloted.
"Ope wait," he says as he squats slightly, not looking at you, focused entirely on the game and winning. A high pitched airy fart is released as he throws another basket. 15 seconds are left. "Waitwaitwait" he bends over and backs his perfect ass onto your hip. He farts for a solid 10 seconds, directly onto you. Rumbly and low and so *long*. He makes one more basket. He made the high score, even with 'wasting' 10 seconds farting on you. A modest amount of tickets are dispensed as he turns around you, beaming his perfect smile. Not a single hue of red to be found.
"See! I told you!" he seems proud of his display of mastery over this silly arcade game, its incredibly adorable. "You didnt doubt me, did you?"
"If I did, you definitely proved me wrong." You arent sure of what else to say. This is the first time hes farted on you, let alone *near* you, completely without inhibition. You don't think youve ever been more attracted to someone. "Any other hidden talents you wanna show me tonight?"
"Oh, plenty." he says with a wink, "Lets check out a few more games first." He gasps, making you jump. "Is that MARIO KART?"
And hes off. Leaving you in his gas cloud, assuming you are already following. You decide to stay put for a second, taking in his smelly work. He was right, pizza sure does something to him. You cant say you aren't a fan though.
You catch up to him a few moments later. You would have lost him if he hadn't stuck his head out of a nearby enclosed booth. "There you are! Get in here, i wanna kick your ass in the best racing game ever made."
He pulls you into the two person booth. Its dark, and completely black on the inside. Very small windows to kind of maybe see the game thats being played from behind, and thick colorful curtains that offer more privacy than you were expecting. The seats are sticky, keeping in line with nearly every surface of this place. You also cant help but notice that it is remarkably soundproofed. The loud and constant sensory overload of the arcade and bowling alleys are significantly muffled in here. Theres also a smell here that you hadn't noticed outside the booth, faint but noticable. He didn't already,,,,, did he?
"I call Mario, hes my main." You ignore the irony of him claiming a 'main' in a casual party game like this, and lock in Yoshi. "Bro Yoshi is so lightweight, youre gonna get knocked around the whole race,"
"Then I simply just won't get hit. Easy" you claim with a comedic level of confidence.
"We'll see about that then," he says with a pause, "Smelly."
"Oh very rich coming from-"
"Im hitting start!" he cuts you off with a shit eating grin. He is going to be the death of you. Tonight if hes not careful.
The course intro plays revealing the ranch level with the cow obstacles. "Wont get hit, right." He says. Something about his demeanor is subtly different now, though you cant place what exactly. You recognize his master plan when the countdown starts.
On 3, you hear "Oh shit, wait" and you turn to look at him, about to say something witty surely.
On 2, he's lifted up the leg that was touching yours and scrunches up his face in full concentration. A rumbly fart vibrates the seat and warms up your thigh.
On 1, he continues, but gives you a knowing looks that makes you melt.
On go, hes done and already gotten a lead on you. He was getting the timing on the start boost the whole time. He was distracting you. He races with a shit eating grin that erases any doubt in your mind. He knows *exactly* what he is doing.
When you finally start participating in the race, a couple seconds in, you almost immediately slam directly into a cow obstacle. "You just wont get hit huh?!" he says to rub salt in the wound in your pride.
"Well its not fair when you-"
"When I what?" he cuts you off, daring you to admit whats going on. Daring you to call this teasing what its is. Not just a hunk of a man playing with his farts in front of his date, but a sexually charged show of acceptance of your kinky desires, and an impressive show of gaseous skill. Like a peacock. But, you know, with farts.
You concede, deciding you rather like his teasing side and dont want to 'pop the bubble' of sexual tension just yet. At least you hope its sexual tension.
"Chemical weapons arent allowed in Mario Kart either, you know. Theres not a whoopie cusion powerup." you carefully probe the boundaries of this little game you seem to be playing together. Not the videogame, the other more exciting game between just you two.
"Well maybe they should add one, then, just for me." he proclaims. A brief grunt, and hes making the bench rumble again. "Though maybe that would just be redundant."
Needless to say, he kicks your ass. He takes 1st and you claim a very solid 6th. You scoot yourself even closer to him and wrap your arms around his middle, starting to take up his own personal space. "Why are you taking your hands off the wheel? Theres 3 more races."
You give him your best 'i need you carnally' eyes, "I'm feeling too distracted to participate, though I wanna see you smash these CPUs that someone decided to put on the hardest difficulty."
"Are you sure? we can always play another game or call it a ni-"
"No." its your turn to cut him off. "I'm really ok being right here with you. I'll let you know if that changes."
A small pause from him, his breathing slightly caught in his throat, "Ok, we dont have to go anywhere. But here, lets get more comfortable."
He leans forward and lifts up off the seat. He gives you that same look he's been saving only for your eyes all night. You realize what hes asking.
"Good idea." you say as you slide under him to let him sit on your lap. Hes not too tall so you can still see comfortably over his shoulder, though he does weigh more than you so its a touch uncomfy. You don't care though, since his ass is sitting directly on your crotch. (Now, if youd like to imagine yourself having a phallus, there is no universe where he wouldn't immediately realize how hard you are.)
Your arms are still wrapped around his waist as he starts the next race with a "You're going down, Toad." Your racer remains stationary at the start, getting hit by shells and other racers every time they drive by. You notice, with your hands in closer proximity than they've ever willfully been to his crotch, hes turned on too. *Incredibly so*. Though his mannerisms rarely show it. He still smashes the competition, small quips and vocalizations from him displaying his immersion in the game. He really doesn't like Toad.
His farts are flowing completely uninhibited now. Now that hes not sitting directly against the hard plastic of the seat, he can let rip without fear of the sound attracting unwanted attention. The attention he *is* getting hes made clear that he very much wants. From your vantage, they are far from silent. Rumbly and low, some squeaky and short. Most are long and would have been so boisterous as to make your grandma blush, if it werent for your nether regions taking and absorbing them. You can feel every blast of wind, every adjusting of his posture, every stomach rumble. The smell is completely unmistakable now. His body, pressed up against your own, starting to sweat slightly from close proximity, nerves, and the rising humidity in the space. Each fart, ripped mercilessly onto your most sensative parts.
Needless to say you didnt notice when he finished the last race (taking first place, obviously). "Hell yea! Eat shit Toad!" he pumps his fist and farts again. "That guys been on my ass all night!" He turns around and notices its your turn to be a blushing mess. His grin tells you the irony was fully intentional. "You ok still?"
You can only muster a smile and a nod, truly at a loss for words in this moment.
"Good, I wanted to adjust something really quick then." He sits up slightly making you realize just how much you were being slightly crushed. He grabs your right hand, the one closest to the curtain, unbuttons his jeans (not touching the zipper) and thrusts your hand down the seat of his pants. His underwear is silky and soft as your hand sinks into the heft of his right ass cheek. You instinctively give it a squeeze and let out a small groan of suprise and pleasure.
"Shhh, careful." he hushes, putting a large and reassuring hand over your mouth. His eye contact is mesmerizing. "Gotta be quieter than that, ok?" Again all you can do is nod, though this time talking isnt much of an option.
"You know, I'm actually loving that you're into this." He said it. You suppose it'd be ridiculous to deny at this point. You're just suprised that its been him taking each step forward into these weird desires of yours so boldly.
"But," he continues, "I want this to be just between me and you, ok?" You notice in this moment that his eyes are dilated, and hes trembling very slightly. He looks like a cat thats about to pounce on his prey. Behind it all, though, you can tell hes scared. Scared and pleading with you. He wants you, *only you*, to know about this part of him.
"So, keep quiet, and enjoy the show. Maybe tonight, we can stay at my place and you can get a taste of just how good at this I am?" His smile tells you that you dont have to say anything. He inserts another game token, and locks in Mario.
Thankfully, nobody else wanted to play Mario Kart that night. Though they'll likely have to fumigate the unit before allowing the public access to it again.
You don't know how many games he played. You didn't care. He was marking his territory on your hand the entire time. Your hand eventually glided from his right cheek to the valley in between. His underwear may as well not exist, though it remains a very important barrier that he has not broken down yet. These barriers are his to show you through, and you to enjoy the anticipation of whats behind them.
You left hand had started to drift under the front of his shirt, and further south. You went slowly, trepidatious that it may be too much for him right now. He only tensed up slightly when you first suggested you wanted to head that direction, giving him pause before saying "Yea, go ahead". He is big, and he is definitely hard. Still, you stayed at the inderwear level, for the same reasons your other hand didn't either.
After who knows how many races, most of which he came on first, you both hear a familiar voice.
"There you guys are!" its Zane, outside the booth. Your left hand quickly shoots up out of the front of his pants, though you have not the time nor the skill to remove your right or button up his jeans in time.
"We were looking for you guys, the place closes in 10 minutes." Zane pokes his head through the curtain on your left side, none the wiser of where your right hand could be. The rest, however is plain to both see and smell. "Jeez man, remind me to never buy you pizza again."
For the briefest of moments your heart is completely still, unsure of what to do. Of course you would get caught what the hell were you both thinking?
Thats as far as your thoughts go before Alex speaks up. "You say that every time we get pizza together, and you still do it."
"Lets get you two lovebirds out of here before gasbag here makes the whole arcade inhospitable. Come on, quit canoodling!" Zanes expression seems knowing, but shows no signs of disgust. You suppose he must be used to Alex's smell by now.
His friend is gone, and Alex slides off of your lap. His eyes are still hungry looking, though his smile is sweet and tender. "Come on, my place has a nice shower." he pauses to consider the forwardness of his words. "I mean, if you would still- if youd like to go home-" You cut him off with a kiss.
"I would love to go back to your place, unless you think I smell to bad?"
He kisses you again, his confidence returned. "No I dont think so, but you should probably wash your hand." he chuckles as he leaves the booth. You sniff your hand and realize what he meant. Thats the closest your face has ever been to his ass. Your arousal returns with a vengance, and you hope thats not where tonight ends.
~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone is piled into Zanes car. You all decided to carpool since gas is expensive as hell and Zane has a big ass car. He asks you to resend your address to his phone, to which you inform him that you will be staying at Alex's tonight. "Oh, ok, easier for me." he says, his voice revealing nothing. Though his eyes through the rearview mirror almost seam to say "Yea I figured."
The drive is quiet and uneventful. Everyone is likely tired from a long day, though you are wound up like a spring. Alex is holding your hand, your right hand specifically, maintining its warmth. If either of you smell like Alex's butt still, nobody mentions it.
(again, imagin its nighttime)
His apartment is clean and spacious, and his neighbors recently moved out. Of course, its definitely a bit of a bachelor pad. You can tell he doesnt get visitors often. Its not dirty, just untidy. You suspect he didnt plan on taking you home with him tonight.
He makes no mention of you needing a shower when you walk in. "Gimme just a sec, be right back." he says as he makes a swift, but not urgent beeline to his bedroom.
It isn't often you find yourself in his apartment. if theres going to be an overnight stay for either of you, its usually him staying at yours. The livingroom has large windows letting in a lot of natural light, which gives the room a completely different feel than you're used to.
You also notice how his kitchen isn't very tidy either, though its far from the barebones kitchen units youd expect from a single man his age. He mentioned once or twice that he "dabbles" in cooking, and you now see what he means. Unorganized, cabinet doors left open, strange organization habits. You cant help but look inside as you walk up to close the cabinet doors yourself. You find that ingredient and spice organization is clearly not his strong suit. Bags of popcorn stored next to a three quarters full bag of rice. Cans of soup next to a packet of,,,, is that a packet of yeast? Somehow he has two bottles of different brand olive oil in two different cabinets accross each other. Both opened and half empty.
Before you can wonder how he managed to accomplish that, his voice from the room snaps you back to the excitement of the night.
"Hey! Come here real quick!" he half yells from his room.
As you enter, you are beholden to a very welcome sight. Alex is naked from the waist up, standing between the end of his bed and his mirror, holding his phone up to take a picture of himself.
"Forgot to make a post today." oh right, his job. You watch as he finds an angle that frames his chest, arms, and behind perfectly to his liking. Just slutty enough for his (and your) tastes. He makes a cute little face, almost a smoulder, and you hear as he rips an absolutely thunderous and titanic fart as he holds the pose. It goes on for several seconds, leaving you stunned in silence the entire time. At the end of the 12 second long emission, he snaps the picture. "Perfect, I'll just schedule that to post tomorrow morning."
He looks back at you, feigning ignorance with that cute smile he loves to pull. "What?"
"Really?" you ask, putting on a facade of your own, making his face go red again.
"What?!" he half whines, putting on an almost pouty face as he turns away to write a caption.
You walk up and place a hand firmly on his ass, grabbing longingly, wanting to do a little boundary pushing of your own. "You tell me what." you tease, leaning in for a kiss.
Before you connect, he farts again, right into your palm, as he has already done so many times tonight. He turns away from your kiss and goes to lay face down on the bed. As he turns, you catch a glimpse of red on his cheeks.
Worried you went too far, you sit next to him on the bed. You touch his arm gently, "You know, if it's all too much, we don't have to do anything. I know whe havent really talked about.... *those* kind of boundaries before." It's true, not out of anything intentional from either of you, it just never came up in conversation. You like his gentlemanly, almost chivalrous persona he puts on in public. Though you were always dissapointed that he never seemed to be comfy enough to fully drop it.
"No it's not-" he starts talking into the pillow, cutting himself off and sighing deeply. You watch as his muscles relax, and he turns to look at you directly. "It isn't that I don't want to. It's just..." You don't interject, letting him collect his thoughts. "It was always a thing with me and my friends. And it was hilarious. And we loved it. But at some point it was, different for me."
You feel heat in the back of your neck as you already know what hes about to describe.
"It never stopped being funny, but they all seemed to grow out of it more. Believe it or not. But I never did, I still wanted to joke around like that. And then I noticed that I wasn't even really laughing at it anymore, but I still wanted to-"
You place a finger on his lips. Your right hand. You make deep, serious eye contact with him before you say, "I know." In that moment you watch him go through every emotion available to him, before landing on understanding. His eyes dialate again and turn slightly pleading, like a dog begging for something they dont fully understand. You both realize just how close you've cuddled together on the bed, and you both remember what you were doing in a Mario Kart booth 30 minutes ago. What he was doing with that hand you are currently holding to his lips.
The moment breaks and hes on top of you. Kissing you wildly and hungrily. Grasping and reaching for something, any part of you to hold onto. Your hands instinctively went to his ass. Kneading them through his jeans like dough. He has just awakened a beast that lives inside of you both, and it demands a feast.
Your shirt came off at some point during the eating of each others faces. You notice this only when he breaks free and leans backward, beginning to tower over you in all his shirtless glory. His pants putton is still undone and his fly is doing its best. His stomach rumbles slightly, just audible enough for you both to hear it and for him to give you a knowing smirk.
"Wait," he says, as if violently pulling the pair of beasts back by their leash, "I don't really...." a pause "know what I'm doing." Before you can say your reassurances, he says, "Oh no I've had sex before, just nothing worth writing home about. I guess I know why, now."
A brief moment of introspection from him, before continuing, "I was going to say, that ive never done anything like this," he gestures down at where your still clothed privates are rubbing against eachother, "So, I'm going to just wing it, and I want you to trust me like I trust you, ok? If theres anything you're not comfy with, let me know and I'll stop immediately."
You nod, a little too frantically. "The same goes to you. I've dabbled in this, but you havent. Take it at your pace, ok?"
Through his eyes you watch his heart melt in real time. "Ok." is all he says before hes lifting up and removing his jeans.
You help him, sensually touching his thighs in places youve never explored before, and as fast as he got up hes back down on top of you as before. You feel the weight of his heavy balls through his white Calvin Klein briefs (he always had expensive taste in clothes. underwear too, apparently). His two large globes of an ass sitting directly on your privates. You haven't forgotten what its capable of.
"I did say I was gonna show you my talents tonight." He says, the red on his face from arousal, not embarrassment. "So I have something to confess to you."
Your inquisitive look speaks for you, and he continues, "That party, couple months ago, when i cut off Gabe from telling that story about me? Well I wanna tell you it now." He notices how both your face and your nethers react to this. "I also want to show you."
He lifts a leg over you, and starts to turn around as he tells his story. "You see, I made Gabe shut up at the party because I specifically requested that none of them talk about that night. You know, scouts honor or something to that effect." His bulbous ass is now front and center in your vision. "It wasn't traumatic or anything, just not a side of myself I wanted widely known. You know with my career and all. Also wouldve made it hard to get dates." You were hoping he knew how much him taking his time was driving you crazy.
"Well, that internet trick Gabe mentioned, was a trick to fart whenever you want." Thats the first time hes said the word 'Fart' in front of you. "We all learned how to do it, and it was an insanely hilarious night. Though I honestly blew the competition out of the park."
His hands were down the back of his underwear now. His knees spread apart slightly, and he goes face down, ass up on the bed in front of you. "Which im sure isn't a suprise to you." He pulls his cheeks apart slightly and sucks in his gut in an odd way. You hear a loud and deep wooshing sound as you understand what he just did.
He looks over his shoulder at you. "I hope you appreciate my skills as much as they did that night." A loud and boisterous fart explodes out of his ass. Its sound is like a stock sound effect for a fake fart in TV shows or movies, but this one is *oh so real*. You watch as his underwear literally flutters from the force of it. You can't take it anymore and dive right into his cheeks, muffling it halfway. Your arms wrap around his waist and your hand stops right on his member, honestly completely unintentionally.
He laughs, a genuine laugh charged with sexual gratitude and just a hint of cockyness. His next words send a chill down your spine. "You want me to take off my underwear?"
You dont answer, instead removing them for him. He exclaims suprise, and releases a short fart to allevate any anxieties you may hold. His ass is beautiful. Covered in thin and short blonde hairs only visible from this distance, with a deeper jungle in his crack. His cheeks are bubbly, but also toned, revealing his trips to the gym aren't fruitless. You run your hands over them gently but firmly, barely revealing the sloghtest glimpse of his hole that hides behind all that perfection.
"Wait wait wait, take this one." he says straining. he bends forward slightly, revealing more of his hole and his balls hanging down under it. The fart he releases is blustery, deep, and sends a shiver down your spine with its musky, but not overpowering smell. He may be farting on command, but he was still gassy before he started. The fart lasts at least 20 seconds, or was it only 5? Its difficult to count when youre in such ecstacy. He laughs at his fart again, sending even more chills to your junk.
"I'm so glad I'm not rhe only one enjoying this." As he says this, your grasping right hand has found his erect member, and has started stroking it slowly. He is rather girthy, and long. Lucky you.
"Oh fuck hold on-" he releases another fart. This time your nose finds his hole like its laser guided, your mouth begining to lick and pleasure his sack. This fart is high pitched and squeaky, though as you stroke him he bends forward into the pleasure, causing it to become lower and airier.
With your left you begin to pleasure yourself, frantically and more sloppy than you typically do. Alex is fully bent over now, squirming and moaning cutely under your touch.
"O-Oh fuck, I, I'm-" he rips a small, but very loud fart right on your nose. His hole pulses and squirms agaisnt your nose, as your vision is overtaken by his massive ass cheeks.
"H-Here." he says, stammering. His gut flexes in that odd way once again, and he sucks in more air to his anus right against your face. His hand reaches back and grabs the back of your head, puching you deeper into his cheeks. "Wouldn't want you to miss this."
He releases a barrage of farts, one after the other, right onto your nose as he moans and groans and grunts your name out loud. He doesn't stop holding you in his ass, he doesn't want you to miss a single second of this, not that youd want to anyways. The gas is unending, its almost overwhelming. You however, were made for this. Your face sits so perfectly between his cheeks, nobody else is as perfect to be taking all his farts right now.
Your pumling on his dick speeds up. He tenses and farts another ripper that you sniff with gusto. His breathing quickens. Hes needing to catch his breath between pushes to rip more on your face. He can feel how ravenous you are for more in the way your mouth and tongue lap hungrily at his balls. He refuses to dissapoint, and never does.
He starts releasing smaller, quick ones in rapid succession now. Your pumps, licks, and sniffs start to sync up with his rips. Youre both getting louder, his moans approaching climax. You cant vocalize as your mouth is full of his balls. "I'm- It's -Ah!"
The finale, he farts right into your nostrils as you both cum in unison. Making a horrible mess of his crumpled up sheets. Not to mention the sweat and the smell that will have to come out in the wash. Neither of you move from your positions immediately. Though he is the first to get up. He removes the soiled top sheet and doesnt replace it before laying in bed next to you.
He grasps you tightly in his arms, and pulls you under the covers with him. Still naked and sweaty and smelly. Neither of you care. Youve never been held so tight before.
Your hands rest comfortably cupping his ass. You fit like a glove together. "Ooop wait." he rips a fart directly into your cupped hands. A moment of silence before "I'm not gonna stop all night, you know."
You kiss him on the forehead. "I know. Its hot." He smiles contentedly into your chest, and farts again.
Oliver and Tate have been friends their whole lives. Despite their huge height differences they got along extremely well. As kids Tate would invite Oliver to sleep over all the time and this continued into their adult lives.
As Oliver got older he began to notice Tates dad, Jon.He was a big man, but not in an unattractive way. His tummy was plush and he had a huge round ass.Oliver had to restrain himself from staring at him, but sometimes he would sneak peeks of him walking around the house in his underwear. Oliver would always feel guilty afterwards though.
On this particular night Tate and Oliver were sitting on the couch watching a movie. Half way through their viewing Jon comes in looking exhausted, Oliver got a quick glance catching a good view of his ass.
Oliver quickly turned his attention back on the movie, but all he could think about was Jonâs ass. Oliver was so distracted he didn't even notice Tate asking him a question.
"Yo, Earth to Oli?" Tate said
"Oh sorry, I spaced out"
"I can see that. I was just asking if you wanted to watch something else"
"Nah, this is fineâŚI just need to use the restroom real quick"
"Alright dude, I'll wait for you"
"Thanks man"
Oliver excused himself and headed for the bathroom. As he walked down the hall he noticed the bathroom door was closed.The only other person it could be was Jon, As he stared at the door he noticed the space underneath the door was wide enough for him to go under. His curiosity got the best of him and he decided to give it a shot.
Crawling on his hands and knees, Oliver slid under the door and into the bathroom. The light was dim, but he could still make out Jon was sitting on the toilet, his huge frame filling up the small space. His dad bod was even more impressive up close, and Oliver couldn't help but admire it. He paused for a moment, unsure if he should continue or not, when he heard the toilet flush.
Jon stood up and turned around, revealing his naked back to Oliver. The sight was breathtaking. It was the first time heâs seen anyone nude in person and was a little sad Jon had put on his grey boxers again.
Oliver felt a mixture of shame and excitement as he continued to stare at his friend's dad. He wanted to admire his huge frame, but also didn't want to get caught. Jon walked over to the sink, his massive thighs and calves flexing with each step. Oliver watched in awe as watched him wash his hands, the water running over his hairy forearms.
He was so close, yet so far. Oliver debated for a moment on whether or not to reveal himself. His curiosity was overwhelming, but he didn't want to ruin their friendship or make Jon uncomfortable. Just as he was about to make a decision, he heard a booming fart come from the big man. An audible yelp escaped Oliver, he was startled by the sudden noise.
Jon looked down and saw the tiny man âwhat the fuck, how long have you been there?
Oliver froze, his heart racing. He stammered out an apology, unable to meet Jonâs gaze. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I just... IâŚâ he couldnât come up with an excuse
Jon sighed, his eyes narrowing as he studied Oliver. He seemed to be weighing his options before he finally spoke. "Well, I guess you're a grown man now. You can handle seeing me like this, right?"
Jon chucked, ââŚ.so you liked what you saw huh?â
Oliver's face turned bright red as he nodded, unable to form any words. Jon grinned, his eyes raking over Oliver's small form.
Jon reached down and grabbed Oliver lifting him up to his eye level. Jon moves Oliver to his chest, resting him between his plush pecs.
âYou like this little man?â
Oliver couldnât believe this was happening, his whole body tingling with excitement. Jon squeezed Oliver between his pecs causing him to moan. Oliver could feel his cock hardening, straining against the fabric of his underwear.
Jon chuckled, enjoying the effect he was having on the small man. He continued squeezing Oliver, alternating between his pecs. Oliver moaned and squirmed, his cock throbbing with need. Jon lowered him down towards his belly, pressing him into the soft flesh. Oliver buried his face in Jon's tummy, inhaling the big mans musk.
Jon let oliver lay on his tummy for a while, his breathing becoming heavy. Oliver could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his excitement building. Jon eventually lifted oliver up, holding him in front of his face. Oliver gazed up at him, his eyes full of lust.
"Should we take this somewhere else?â Jon asked
Oliver eagerly nodded. Jon carried Oliver into his bedroom and placed him on the bed. Oliver laid back, watching as Jon turned around clenching his cheeks.
âYou know iâve caught you staring at my ass a couple times⌠do you like it when i play with it?â Jon teased
Oliver whimpered, his cock twitching. Jon smirked and began groping his ass, massaging the thick globes. Oliver watched in awe, his eyes glued to the big mans ass.
As Jon kept showing off he heard a knock at his door. Without thinking Jon slammed his ass down on Oliver keeping him hidden. Tate walks in confused
Jon tried his best to act normal, hoping Tate didn't notice Oliver. "Hey son, what's up?"
Tate shrugged, looking around the room. "Nothing much, I was just wondering where Oli was. He's been gone for a while"
Jon panicked, trying to think of an excuse. "Oh uh, he said he wasn't feeling well so he went home"
Tates brow furrowed, concern flashing across his face. "Is he okay? Should I go check on him?"
Jon quickly shook his head, not wanting Oliver discovered. "No no, he'll be fine. Don't worry about him"
Tate sighed, reluctantly accepting Jon's explanation. "Alright, if you say so. Well goodnight dad"
Jon breathed a sigh of relief as Tate left the room, closing the door behind him. Oliver let out a muffled moan, causing Jon to remember he was trapped under his ass. Jon quickly lifted his ass, plucking Oliver from his ass crack.
Oliver gasped for air, his face covered in Jon's musk. Jon smirked, watching Oliver try to compose himself.
"Well that was close"
Oliver nodded, still a little dazed.
âYou ok little man?â
Oliver nodded again, regaining his composure. Jon grinned, admiring olivers small frame.
"So, where were we?"
Jon lowered oliver back onto the bed, his huge form looming over him. Oliver trembled with anticipation.
âYou know youâre pretty comfortable to sit onâ Jon teased
Olivers cock twitched, his mind racing with possibilities. Jon chuckled, enjoying Oliverâs reactions.
"You like that idea huh? Having my big ass sit on you?" Jon smirked
Oliver whimpered, his face turning bright red. Jon grinned, his eyes full of mischief.
"well why don't we try it out again"
Jon slowly lowered his ass onto oliver, enveloping him in his warm flesh. Oliver moaned, his cock throbbing.Jon wiggled back and forth a few times causing Olive to moan louder.
"You like that huh? My ass smothering you"
Oliver nodded, his cock aching with desire. Jon grinned, grinding Oliver between his cheeks. Oliver moaned, his cock leaking precum. Jon continued grinding, his huge ass swallowing up the small man. He let out a huge fart over the tiny man
Oliver moaned. Jon chuckled, enjoying Oliver's reactions.
And let another huge fart over the tiny man.
PFFFFTTT
Jon stood up and looked down at tiny man covered in sweat.
âYouâre an interesting kid, getting turned on by my gas, you like sniffing up farts like a perv?â Jon teased
Oliver whimpered, embarrassed Yet turned on by Jon calling him a perv. Jon chuckled
âLetâs kick it up a notch huh?â Jon says turning back around and dropping his boxers.
Oliver gasped, Jon ass was huge. His cheeks were round and plush, his crack was deep and hairy. Oliver was mesmerized, unable to tear his eyes away. Jon smirked, âThink you can handle all this ass kid?â Jon says making his ass shake with his hands.
Oliver nodded eagerly. Jon grinned, squatting Over tiny man ready to sit on him again.
Oliver can feel Jon ass lowering closer to him. As Jon ass hits his face he lets out another huge fart
PPPPFFFFFFF
Jon sits down fully engulfing oliver between his cheeks. Jon bounces his ass up and down causing Oliver to moan.
PPPPFFFFF
PPPPPPPFFFFTTTT
Jon continues farting over his tiny body. Olivers cock is rock hard, his moans muffled by Jon's ass.
PPPPFF
PPPPPFFFFFTTT
Jon continues bouncing his ass, Olive moaning with each bounce. Olivers cock is throbbing, his need for release growing. Jon stops bouncing oliver and lifts his ass revealing the tiny man.
Oliver is a mess, his face is covered in musk. His cock is rock hard, leaking precum. Jon chuckles, enjoying olivers disheveled state.
âYou like that kid? There more where that came from!â. He slams his ass back into his tiny game
PPPPPPFFFT
PPPPFFFFF
Jon farts a huge one covering tiny man again. Oliver moans, his cock aching.
PPPFFFFFF
PPPFFFFFF
Oliver can feel his cock twitching, his orgasm building. Jon continues farting, his ass shaking with each blast.
PPPPPPPPPPFF
PPPPPPPFFFTT
Oliver couldnât hold it in, his cock exploding with cum. He moans, his body shuddering. Jon chuckles, feeling Oliver cock pulse with each spurt.
Jon lifts his ass and sees the tiny man laying there, spent. Oliver is covered in his own cum, his face is still red.
"you like that huh, you like getting covered in my ass sweat and farts"
Oliver nods, still in a daze. Jon chuckles, enjoying olivers reactions.
Oliver was spent, his mind reeling from the experience. He had never felt such pleasure before, and he wanted more.
Jon sat back on the bed and stretched,
PPPPPFFFFFFFFFTTTT
Oliver let out a small gasp as another huge fart blasted him with musky ass smell. Jon smirked as he watched Oliver struggle to compose himself.
Oliver felt so vulnerable, he was at the big mans mercy and yet he loved it. Jon had total control over him, and he knew it. Jon continued farting, filling the room with his stench.
"You really like that huh. want to spend the night with me?"
Oliver nodded eagerly. He couldn't imagine wanting anything else. Jon grinned, enjoying olivers eagerness.
"Good, i gotta wake up early for work tomorrow so in you go!â
Jon picks Oliver up and slides him inside his boxers, and puts them on. his small body pressed against Jon's hairy asshole. Oliver couldn't believe his luck. He was so happy, he felt so safe. Jon crawled into bed, his huge body dwarfing Oliver.
Jon rolled onto his back and settled in. Oliver could feel the big man's weight pressing down on him, it was incredible. Oliver laid there, surrounded by Jon's warmth. The smell was overwhelming, but he loved it. He knew he would never be able to get enough.
Jon's body relaxed as he drifted off to sleep. Oliver laid there, unable to sleep. He couldn't believe he was here, inside Jon's boxers. He knew it would be difficult to breathe, but he didn't care. He was where he wanted to be.
Oliver was jolted from his thoughts by a loud fart from the big man. The smell was intense, making him light headed. He let out a small gasp as Jon shifted his position, causing him to be pressed against Jon's hairy ass even more. He was in heaven.
Oliver slowly drifted off to sleep, surrounded by Jon's warmth and scent.
Enjoy Fellas. Would really appreciate a reblog if you could.Â
Remember the scene in Nutty Professor when Eddie Murphy grows gigantic and rips a fart so loud that blows up the entire city after a homeless man lights a match? The fart Sal unleashed in this guyâs face not only sounded exactly like that, but was genuinely almost as powerful. I never saw Sal strain to fart before. His face was beat red, but you could still see his hot tan skin and stubbly beard. Because he was forcefully holding this guyâs face against his own big ass, his arms were bulging out of his long sleeve flannel shirt. Sal was flexing and holding the guys head against his ass as hard as he could because the fart was that powerful. You guys arenât going to believe me but Iâm not kidding. This guyâs hair and cheeks were flapping against the force of Salâs fart. And his face was pressed right into Salâs bubble ass. Sal was hunched over sticking his ass out, giving me a great view of his thick meaty tree trunk legs and gigantic globe ass. Holy shit he had a giant ass. Salâs ass had to be 6-7X bigger than this guyâs head. It could swallow him up. I was envious of the guy, despite him being blasted by Salâs ripper.
BRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTÂ
The fart went on for almost 10 seconds before dying down into a squeaky faint whoosh. Sal slowly lifted his hand off of the back of the guyâs head who at this point had passed on, as he slid on the floor, and lay on the floor face first on the bathroom, out cold.
Sal had a triumphant look on his face and glanced over at me. I didnât know how to respond. I was frightened, genuinely at the point, at what Sal could do to me. For the first time I was actually scared.
A reassuring smile came across Salâs face, despite him panting and breathing heavy. âLetâs let Mike take a nap huh? Iâm starving.â Sal then walked out the bathroom door. I went and checked to make sure Mike was still breathing. He was but he was out cold.
I followed Sal over to a table where his cop friends were sitting. Sal introduced me to his friends, Nick was a tall goofy looking pale skinned Irish guy with a big nose and black hair, he was relatively muscular for someone as tall as him, Joey was an average height pretty boy, cleanly shaven and dressed fashionably, he was tight and toned and had dark brown hair, Zach was an average height black guy, very muscular and very handsome, with a bald head and light facial hair, then Alicia was a black female cop who apparently was cool getting wings and drinkin beers with the guys, and of course an empty seat for mike.
âI told you that was one of Salâs monster farts! You owe me $5 Joey. Haha Joey thought it was a helicopter flying over head.â Alicia said to the group as Joey reached in his wallet and paid Alicia $5. I guess the fart was loud enough to sound like a helicopter.
âSal you said you werenât gonna pick on Mikey anymore. Whatâs up? Poor guyâs probably passed out on the floor isnât he?â Joey said to Sal.
âHe was competing with me! And heâs getting good. Obviously not on my level. But he was being cocky so I had to show him up. You know me.â Sal responded.
âIâm catching up with you too Sal. BURRRRRPPPPPPPâ Zach had just belched right in Salâs face. And talk about a belch, it was gigantic. Louder than anyone Iâd ever heard before, besides Sal.
Alicia shook her head âhere we goâŚâ turning her head away from Sal, who I noticed was breathing in very slowly but very subtly.
âIâm not going to stoop down to Zachâs level of immaturit-AAARRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPâ This was by far the loudest belch Iâd ever heard Sal rip, and it was 5X louder than Zachâs. Like Salâs fart against Mikey, this belch almost knocked Zach over. It was a loud open mouth belch too. The whole bar got quiet, minus the TVs as sell ripped this belch. The whole bar, close to 50 people heard it. Then after 8 seconds and the burp ended, all began to cheer as the bar tender rang a bell.
âAnd that was pre beer guysâ Alicia was laughing, fanning the air in front of her.
The waiter came around to take our orders. I got a cheeseburger, French fries, a side of wings and 2 beers.
Sal got two double bacon cheeseburgers and 2 family sized order of fries, a family size order of wings, an order of Jalepeno poppers, and a nacho supreme tower complete with sour cream, beans, guacamole, cheese, chicken, salsa, hot sauce, oh and lots of beans. And an entire pitcher of beer for himself.
Sal finished his entire meal in under 20 minutes and I could barely finish ž of mine. He scarfed down his food with little to no table manners, even letting rip a small burp or fart every now and then. He was covered in grease and ketchup around his mouth. Everytime he took a sup of beer he let out a long closed mouth burp that was loud enough for the whole table to hear. Salâs frame was so wide and his shoulders so broad and arms so thick that he took up half the time alone while shoveling all the food into his mouth. He finished his meal before anyone else did.
âSal who you trying to impress here with the beans. You want to clear out this whole place?â Alicia said to him jokingly.Â
âNo Iâm better at controlling myself.â
For the rest of the meal, I heard Sal constantly making closed mouth burps, and silent farts, well maybe audible if the bar wasnât so loud, but they were vibrating the seats, his stomach was also grumbling.
Mike had suddenly walked back into the bar up behind Sal and lightly smacked him on the back. Sal immediately ripped a loud roaring belch uncontrollably that all his friends laughed at. Sal then walked out the bathroom without saying anything. I got up to follow him but Mike put his hand on me. âYou donât want to go in there. Heâs gotta get all the gas out.â Sal was going in the bathroom just to fart and belch.
After some time Sal came out of the bathroom and came and sat back down. The owner of the bar, Vito, who knew Sal, came over to talk to us. He was an older Italian guy with a thick Brooklyn accent, grey hair a pot belly, and a broad frame. âYou eat all my food you assholeâ Vito said to Sal.
âNo just a snack Vitoâ Sal replied.
âMy snack ainât your snackâ Vito said to Sal lightly punching him in the stomach. But the light tap was enough to make Sal release a loud brappy audible fart.Â
âHEYâ Vito suddenly got serious âWhat did I tell you about farting in here. Iâm not fucking around Salâ
âHonestly Vito it was an accident. I had the nachos and . . . â
âWHAT?! I told you not to have the nachos you gassy fuck. Get the hell out of here. Come back tomorrow with some beano.â Vito was not saying this lightheartedly. He meant what he said, and Sal actually left.Â
When we stopped outside I was going to say âI canât believe he kicked you outâ but before I could speak Sal slightly bent forward and stuck his big round ass out and smiled at me. He began to moan and then I heard a loud long popping fart that went on for 10 seconds along with his moan. When the fart ended, I went to say âniceâ before yet another 10 second loud brappy popping fart which he again moaned with the entire time for and smiled at me.
He looked at me after the fart ended and said âhat trickâ putting both his hands in the air and ripping a fart twice as loud as the last too. This time without moaning. He cracked up after.
I was in awe and amazed he just did that. âJesus Christ S-â But I was interrupted as he put a finger in my face. BRRRRRPPPPTTTTTT Sal ripped a fourth fart and began moaning. Except this moan turned into a belch. He was ripping one really long belch and one really long fart at the same time. People on the street were staring. This fart burp combo went past the 10 second mark all the way to 15 seconds. Holy shit.
Sal just stared right back at me. âTrust me, you ainât seen nothing yet.â
Sorry about the delay boys. Iâm going to take the story in a new direction soon that I think you guys will like. Enjoy.Â
I wasnât sure if an 18 wheeler truck was driving through my bathroom or if Sal was taking quite possibly the worldâs loudest dump. Every fart he ripped reverberated against the toilet bowl, as he also let out loud manly grunts. One particular fart lasted well over 10 seconds and I heard Sal laugh like a school boy after it finished.
I heard him flush the toilet three different times. He walked out relaxed and cheery, looking like his pants fit better around his plump yet beautiful belly and beefy ass.
âThanks for flushing 3X to get rid of the skid marks.â I said to sal.
He looked back confused. âHuhâŚ. Oh I have to flush 2-3 times per shit so I donât fill up the bowl. Would be overflowing if not. Toiletâs still full of skid marks.âÂ
While I might have protested at first, I remembered all the Wendyâs he ate last night, the two gallons of ice cream, and the gigantic breakfast. Despite his beefiness and thick heaviness, Sal clearly had a crazy fast metabolism.
I wanted to inquire more but was immediately hit by a truly foul smell. His concentrated gas flowed out of the bathroom and invaded me. âJesus Sal, Light a match in there.â
âNO! You have no idea how much methane my gas stores. Place would be up in flames in seconds.â I was reaching the point where I believed this outlandish claims. I suddenly thought about Sal in a college dorm lighting gigantic farts with his friends, showing off. Mmmmm. Â Â Â Â
Sal wanted to head to an Irish pub in Queens to watch Pitchers and Catchers with his cop buddies â oh yeah Sal was a cop. More on that later.
We sat in an uber on a long car ride through Manhattan traffic. I had so many questions I could ask Sal about, but opted to focus on my suffering. âSal, how did you make me throw up?â
He chuckled and smiled cockily straight ahead. âIâve been the Gas King my whole life. Everyone knows it.â
He had no explanation? âBut no human can rip so much gas as to make someone throw up. And you definitely canât do that on command.â
Sal looked over at me and smirked. Then he turned his head forward and kept smiling straight ahead. I saw his eyes concentrate slightly. I then felt my seat start vibrating. He was ripping a base rumbling fart so low, I could barely hear it, but it was rattling my backseat. The fart went on over 6 seconds. The smell hit me, though not as pungeant as his bathroom gas, it was still bad.
Before I felt nauseous I noticed the uber driver in the front seat, who was talking on the phone in Arabic make grimacing faces and then proceed to start coughing. The driver then said what I assume were curse words in Arabic looking in his rearview mirror at us, all while Sal laughed. I started to laugh too before I saw the driver roll down his window and lean his head out and immediately blow his lunch.
Holy shit. Sal did it again. And in record time. Salâs farts were so strong, he made our uber driver through up on command. TBH I was turned on at his sheer strength and ability.
Sal was now laughing so hard he could barely breathe and so was I. Luckily we were in stand still traffic. The driver opened his door to cough and throw up more all while yelling at us in Arabic, presumably demanding we leave the cab. So We did.
We were only half a mile away so Sal and I walked the rest there. In our 20 minute walk Sal probably ripped 7-8 loud brappy farts that any normal man would stop to acknowledge to show off. But to Sal, they werenât even worth acknowledging.
I asked Sal why I didnât throw up in the taxi and he explained the more time Iâd spend with him, the faster my tolerance would build up. He also noted he could âtrainâ me to handle his real powerful stuff. Hm.
When we got to the bar, before we started looking for Salâs friends, he told me needed to piss and I followed him to the bathroom. I peed at the urinal right next to his. There were no dividers and I was crazy horny. I watched his thick hose of cock let go a thick stream piss. Damn it was sexy. I got caught in a trance during his long piss, but I was suddenly brought back to life as a I felt a gush of wind in face, smelly breath, and my hair fly back. BURRRRPPPPP Sal had belched right in my face like this morning. It smelled just as bad as this morning, but I did not throw up. Sal was right, I was building up a tolerance.
The loud smelly burp demonstrating Salâs manliness distracted me from his golden piss stream enough to notice I wasnât the only one staring at his cock. A guy in the urinal on Salâs left was also staring down right at Salâs cock and long piss, not being subtle at all. Sal didnât know the guy, and though he was wierded out, Sal didnât seem too phased.
Sal then held his breath, and I heard his piss stop for a short second before he ripped a LOUD squeaky fart that turned basey. The guy recaught his bearing and stared into Salâs face. Sal met him at eye level and responded with another burp right in the guys face.
The guy gagged but didnât throw up, and then he left the bathroom while sal was still pissing. I asked Sal âyou didnât want him to throw up?â just to confirm that he could have if he wanted to.
âNah, just a mess for someone to clean up.â While he was right, I wanted to see Sal be manly and use his extraordinary power to make a guy throw up.
âI Kind of wanted to see what you were capable ofâŚâ I said to Sal.
I spoke to soon because the bathroom door slammed open. A meatball, big and fat, wide and round, and doughy, decent muscular, only 5,8â but very beefy and decently muscled stormed in the bathroom. Another Italian looking guy with thick dark brown and likely a very hairy body. He was wearing sweats and I could see his giant beef ass.
âSal you son of a bitchâ He walked up behind Sal peeing at the urinal and hugged him from behind.
Sal turned to me before acknowledging the man, clearly one of his cop friends. âyou want to see some of what Iâm capable of?â And before I could respond I saw Sal shut one of his eyes and then bend to one side slightly. He then leaned his hips forward before shooting his ass directly back into this big man, as, yup you guessed it.
BBRRRPPPPPPPRRRTTTT The fart was actually so loud and shot out of Sal so powerfully that it knocked down the guy hugging Sal from behind. This cop actually fell down on his ass.  Holy shit, Sal could actually knock a guy over with his gas⌠on command! Wow.Â
Clearly a good friend of Sal, the guy laughed hysterically despite, almost getting hurt. âWell I see youâre still the same. Luckily your wind hasnât gotten any stronger though.â The guy remarked. Then to my surprise I heard the guy on the floor cut a long deep solid gassy fart that reverbereated off the tile floor. A surprisingly impressive fart.
Sal chuckled but I could see Salâs face tense up. Sal hated being challenged. I knew what was going to happen next.
Still lying on the dirty bathroom floor, The man sat upright, behind Sal who had finished peeing but was still standing at the urinal. I saw Salâs face turn red like he was pushing. He looked genuinely angry. I got scared. The guy on the floor behind Sal looked scared too.
Then like lightning Sal reached behind him and grabbed the manâs head, shoving into directly into his ass. What happened next ⌠to be continued âŚ
The broad framed hairy beefy muscle bearâs farts were powerful enough to make me vomit. Three times in 20 minutes. All seemingly on command. At this point, my entire apartment was pretty much a cloud of smelly gas. Sal was laughing his ass off as I finished dry heaving. He went around opening all the windows in the apartment. Thanks Sal. He sauntered into the kitchen. âWhadday got to eat? Iâm starvedâ Considering that Sal had just eaten probably 4,000 calories from Wendyâs at 11pm (see pt. 2) and 2 entire gallon cartons of ice cream at midnight, I could not understand how heâd be hungry. Come to think of it, thereâs plenty I could not understand about him.
Luckily yesterday I had just driven out to Costco in New Jersey for my bulk shopping. My kitchen was packed with large quantities of food, even a monster like Sal couldnât devour. âHelp yourselfâ I called out, showering a third time to wash off all the vomit. After my shower, I sent some emails for work, got dressed, and cleaned up my room (thanks sal). When I finished my chores and entered the kitchen, Sal had finished cooking breakfast for us.
Or were 5 more guests coming? Sal Liberally had gone through my pantry. (I had a good job â not a big deal). Sal had cooked an 11 egg omlette with sausage, onions, and cheese, 4 bagels with cream cheese, an entire pound of bacon, 3 bananas and a family size box of raisin bran. That was just for him. Despite his impressive digestive records, I still doubted he could finish it all.
I had one bowl of raisin bran I had for myself, one egg sunny side up, and a bagel. which I ate rather quickly so I could watched this Monster devour his food. I wasnât in denial anymore. Watching him scarf down all that food like a beast, shirtless. His hairy chest, broad frame, all those muscles. Not to mention, being ass naked devouring his food like a slob, no table manners.
I thought about blowing him then and there right under the table, but despite having a perfectly round bubble butt, I feared getting close to his ass.
After he finished his feast fit for 2 families, he laid back and put his hands on his belly. I could see how sexy his hairy looked when he was stuffed. Perfectly accented his giant muscle. Sal took in a deep breath, opened his mouth real wide (such a pig) and ripped an ear shattering deep belch. It was loud and powerful. It felt like it had risen from the depths of hell. On top of that it stunk, of course, not to the level where Iâd throw up.
âWow Sal, Luckily your burps are all bark and no bite, unlike your farts.â I joked with him. But Sal wasnât laughing. In fact, it seemed it challenged his ego as he shot me a look. He looked away from me for a second, took in one short breath, pounded his fist twice on his chest, turned Sal turned and looked right in my eyes.
BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Right into face. This belch had the power of something you might see in a cartoon. I felt the force like a powerful hair dryer on my face and I swear my hair was blowing back. Except it was hot and it reeked. It was so loud and so deep, my ears were ringing. It lasted for easily 10 seconds, all directly blown into my face. I breathed much of it in. After it finished, he laughed his ass off, but I felt dazed and confused. I suddenly forgot where I was. Then my nauseousness quickly reminded me.
âNo bite huh?â Sal was laughing hysterically. Holy shit, I felt it. I was going to vomit again and he knew it. The gas was just to powerful. I threw up all the cereal I just ate onto the floor. Was he some kind of super hero? Or Super villain? His farts and his belches genuinely had the power to make me vomit on command.
I dry heaved for a few minutes on the floor. My stomach was empty. I wanted to see if he could do that again, but I already knew he could.
âwhat did I tell you about my gas?â
âYouâre the king of gas Sal.â â He got a big cocky smile on his face and flexed a bicep. Woah man, he must store a bowling ball in there.
We decided we would go see a movie, then watch the Duke game at his favorite sports bar downtown. But before we go he stops me, âI gotta take a dump first. Is there a plunger in the bathroom?â
Dear Lord, this man was about to literally, possibly destroy my bathroom. With all that food he hateâŚ.
As I dove my head under the covers, it took me only 2-3 seconds to realize I couldnât do this. The smell was actually that powerful that I needed to lift up the blanket and air it out in order to blow him. I lifted up the blanket and began to smell thick manly eggy protein gas fill the room. I saw his giant 9 inch cock and huge Italian balls laying there tempting to me. Oh man.
Sal didnât wake up, so After 20 seconds, my lust kicked in. I pulled the cover over top my head and immediately began to suck on his soft cock, feeling it grow from flaccid to hard in my mouth. Sal was dead asleep but began to stir. I was sucking him off making him think he was having a wet dream. Sal started to slightly moan and his cock grew fully erect. He began to hump my throat. Shit this Italian was horny.
Just when I thought he was about to come I felt him stop and his buddy tensed up. He held his breath. Oh Shit.
BRRRRPPPTTTTT
It was loud and it was powerful. It started out squeaky but immediately developed base and girth. Luckily he was lying on his back or it would have hit me right face, and judging by the sound the fart made blasting into the mattress, it could have knocked me over.
Before I had time to think, my mouth still on his cock, then again, his body tensed up, he leaned to one side and he let go a long airy fog horn blast.
Bbbbbbrrrrrrrpppppppptttttttttttt
How much heat the farts generated hit me first and I immediately felt hot under my thick winter blanket. Then the smell hit me. Oh man, I lifted my mouth off his cock and felt nauseous. I couldnât breath under there. It was overpowering me being trapped under that blanket with those two blasts. I lifted my head up to grab fresh air, but and leaned away from his body but it was too late
I threw up. Yes his gas was that powerful that it made me projectile vomit. Not on him luckily, on the floor. I could have cried I was so embarrassed.
Sal immediately woke up and looked at me âWhat theâŚ. Jesus Christ Kevin were you under the blanket when I ripped? What did I tell you?â He was genuinely angry, and looked genuinely concerned.
I felt ashamed, but more embarrassed. I wanted to cry. I walked into the bathroom to wash off. I didnât know what to say. Luckily I didnât throw up on myself, just on the floor, but I still felt gross. I rinsed my mouth out and turned the shower on. It wasnât until then, that I thought about how insane it was that his gas made me throw up. Yes it was painfully gross, but shit, talk about powerful. Manly. T-rex. I got horny again. Then I remembered how embarrassed I was and stopped being horny.
Sal opened the door without even knocking. âI cleaned it all up⌠Are you mad at me?â First of all, how sweet of him to clean up my gross vomit. Second of all, mad at him?
âWhat why Sal?â
âWell I made you throw up. Do you want me to leave?â It was like he was ashamed of his power. Or maybe he didnât know how to control them. Either way, now that my mouth was rinsed and all the throw up and grossness was cleaned up, I felt horny again.
Rather than address the awkwardness I responded. âNo Sal, I donât want you to leave. Iâm going to shower and then Iâll come back to bed.â
I dropped my drawers and got in the shower and to my surprise Sal got in with me. I had a glass stall shower that was pretty big for Manhattan. But with this behemoth man in side, I barely had space to move. Well I soaped him up and needless to say, I got that third load out of him that I wanted. However, he noticed I was more hesitant. Every time his body tensed up I sort of backed away from him. As a result he broke the ice. âKevin, Iâm sorry. You have to avoid enclosed spaces with my gas. You donât have a tolerance built up to it yet.â
âSal itâs fine.â Iâm sure it was just a one-time fluke resulting from everything he ate. âI donât expect something like thatâll happen again.â
âIt will if you arenât careful. You donât know what Iâm capable ofâ He suddenly sounded cocky which challenged my ego. Did he think he could his gas was that powerful to make me throw up all the time?
âSal, câmon I ate all that Wendyâs. We drank a lot. I was deep throating you. You ate all that Wendyâs too and had two tubs of ice cream⌠it was a perfect storm for me to throw up under the blanket.â
He looked at me now, condescendingly. âNo Kevin you donât understand, you should never be under a blanket with my ass. Or in a tight space. Kevin you donât know what Iâm capable of.â
I couldnât take him seriously. Despite having powerful gas, this guy was being too cocky and it was pissing me off. âSal, you donât have the power to make me throw up from your gas alone.â
Now he looked at me flustered. âOh yeah?â He shut one of his eyes, pressed his lips together and strained. Then I saw him slightly lift one leg. Holy hellâŚ.
BBBBBRRRRRRPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTT
This was loud and strong and powerful. I swear the glass shower door actually shook behind his ass at its strength. The fart boomed out of his ass and then ended with a few loud bubbling pops that lasted for 6 seconds.
I looked at him amazed at the fartâs strength and then up into his eyes. He was smirking at me. Why? Then I realized why. The smell hit me like a ton of bricks. Actually, somehow, impossibly worse than the gas under the covers. I then realized being in my stall glass shower, we were again in an enclosed space. Shit. Rotten eggs filled my lungs fast. Sal kept smirking at me. I felt nauseous again. OMG he was right. I tried to hold my breath. He saw me struggle and laughed. It was too late. I bent down and vomited again.
Sal backed away from me, opened the shower door and walked out to dry himself off. âHave something to say to me?â
He was right. I have no idea how the hell he just did that, but he was right.
No he couldnât be. Itâs a fluke thing. I must have a stomach virus or something. No one has that powerful of gas to make someone throw up on command. The shower was running and I had very little left in my stomach to throw up so luckily I didnât have that much of a mess up to clean up.
âWhat are you still doubting meâ He wrapped a towel around his waste and looked sexy as all hell in all his beefy manliness. He had just made me vomit twice, but god I found him attractive. I was looking at him through my glass shower. He opened my bathroom and I felt cold air rush in. He started to walk out when he stopped and with his back facing me, turned his head around, so he was looking over his shoulder. He was peering at me with a cocky grin. âDo you believe yet in the power of my gas?â
It wasnât humanely possible. I couldnât explain it. And he was being so cocky. I couldnât agree with him. âSal, itâs a fluke no one has gas this powerful.â
He turned his head forward and took a step backward, back into the bathroom. His massive back and triceps looked amazing, as did his broad shoulders. His gigantic meaty bubble ass was beautifully visible on top of his thick huge legs. The towel wrapped around his waste loosely. I didnât realize how loosely untilâŚ
BRRRRPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTT
His ass was wet so it quacked like a duck. It loud and powerful and basey, and funny sounding. It popped and bubbled for a good 5 seconds before Sal started to laugh. I actually saw the fart blowing the towel, making it flutter. The fart kept going on past 10 seconds of a quacky ripper. Finally after 12 seconds, the longest Iâd heard from him so far, it stopped. Sal looked back winked at me and closed the door.
He was trapping me in the bathroom with his gas. The steam from the shower wouldnât help, so I shut it off. But I had a large bathroom. I could understand by âtight spacesâ in the shower stall or under the covers, Iâd get nauseous. But my bathroom was spacious.
Not spacious enough. That familiar rotten eggy protein sent filled the bathroom quick. I smelled it immediately and instinctively held my breath. But it was only getting stronger. Sal heard me take a deep breath in and called from outside the bathroom. âHow you doinâ in there?â He chuckled. I couldnât answer him even if I wanted to. After 30 seconds I let my breath go. I had to.
But doing so forced me to breathe in Salâs fumes, which had completely overtaken the bathroom. I felt lightheaded and nauseous. No way. Thereâs no way I was going to throw up a third time. How could one manâs gas be so strong. As if Sal had been through this routine before I heard him call out âyou should run to the toilet Kevin, quickâ â But I couldnât make it there in time. I spit up the little left in me on the bathroom floor. Then I continued to dry heave as the gas around me took over. I actually felt like I was choking.
Sal cracked open the bathroom door, and I fear what would have happened if he hadnât. He was laughing his ass off at me. I felt so pathetic, but still so confused. He looked down on me. âyouâre a proud person so I wonât make you say it, but now you know, Iâm the King of Gas.â
âYouâre the King of Gasâ â heâs right I was a proud person but that power and talent he demonstrated made me acknowledge it.
It was 5am at this point. âCmon, get showered again, letâs go get breakfast.â
Sal was a hot muscley beefy dude with clothes on. But when he took off his shirt, I swear my eyes almost popped out of my head. Holy Macaroni. He was massive, just purely gargantuan in size. He had wide broad shoulders, like Dwight Howard (but white and Italian and way more beef). His chest was thick and wide and HAIRY as hell. The body hair alone sent me up the wall. It was thick dark and masculine. He was BIG too. Straight through from his nipple to the back of his shoulder blade easily had to be over one foot deep. His arms were comprised of thick and strong biceps, triceps, and forearms. You could tell he wasnât some muscle twink hopped up on pre workout whoâs never eaten a carb before. He eats to plenty of carbs (next paragraph). His arms were big in a burly, manual labor way, along with big hands and stubby fingers.
His belly was arguably my favorite part (though he hadnât taken off his jeans yetâŚ) Despite big muscles, he had a perfectly round fluffy belly that looked absolutely perfect to lay my head on and melt away. His belly and love handles ever so slightly hung over his jeans.
He had his flannel shirt drooped over his shoulder. Ugh such a sexy pose. âLet me hang your shirt up.â My momma raised me right. He handed me his shirt but, then to my surprise, he began to unbutton his jeans. What took maybe 3-4 seconds felt like hours, and my heart was racing. Like I said, Iâm usually a top, and Iâm definitely an ass man. But I have an appreciation for a good cock, and a manly man like Sal. When he showed me (shoved my head onto) his cock (see part 4), I went primal. That big cock and those giant balls consumed my focus. I laughed to myself thinking how uncurious I was while sucking him off, completely ignoring my favorite part on the male body: DA ASS.
âWhatâs so funny?â Sal chuckled. Shit, here my mind was wandering off, wandering what his ass would look like, when I was about to find out. As his jeans rolled down, I saw the familiar white underwear. No stains, just old and faded. Again despite being an ass man, his gigantic cock popped out at me. Well thatâs because it literally was popping out of his underwear. I could see the massive pipe laying on top of though two huge balls. They were so heavy and the underwear was so old, it could barely support his triad of Italian glory.
I couldnât tell if the underwear were tight because of his massive cock, or because of the tree trunks protruding from beneath him. Ugh what massive strong legs. Or, was it actually what was behind him that was tearing at his underwear. Since he was facing me, I couldnât see behind him, but I needed toâŚ. I swear I was hypnotized, I could only see the sides of his ass which stuck out much wider than his legs.
âHelloooooo Kevinnnnnâ Sal was waiving a hand in my face. Holy shit, I was zoning out again. He noticed I was staring at his ass and chuckled. âWhat is it hypnotizing you?â He suddenly turned and for the first time I think I saw what Natalie Portman in Black Swan was trying to be: Perfect (gay joke â get over it closet cases). Straight men generally prefer those big bubbly Beyonce booties - perfectly round. Gay bears tend to prefer the wide muscley, manly butt
Somehow Salâs ass was both. Wide, meaty, round, bubbly, and big. Oh doggy.
Without realizing it, I was actually leaning in towards his butt. It was like something out of a bad comedy. âWoah, thatâs a one way street bub, sorry.â He put his hand on my head and spun so his ass was facing away. Being a versatile guy who tops 80% of the time, my pet peeve is gay men who think theyâre âtoo manlyâ to bottom. TBH I wasnât even thinking about topping him, I just wanted my face in it. I was angry for about .03 seconds, until he turned his body, and his cock and big balls were right in front of my face. I dove in like I was a Syrian Refugee who hadnât eaten in days, mouthing at his cock almost angrily. I needed it. âWoah woah woah. Calm down partner. Letâs go lay downâ
I was almost angry at him again until I felt him push me forward off the couch on to my feet, and guide me into my bedroom. Again, I usually like to be in control, so the fact that this big burly man was establishing dominance in my own home was challenging my ego. But maybe turning me on.
He went to open the window, of my 13th floor apartment in the upper west side in the middle of February. It was freezing outside. âWhat are you doing?â
âI know itâs cold, but trust me.â I had been so consumed by his body I had forgotten about his manly gas. Come to think of it, it had been a whole 10 minutes and he hadnât ripped once. Oh no, was he out of gas? âIâll cuddle you close and keep you warm. Hearing that I ripped off my clothes, minus my underwear and pounced into bed. In only his underwear (ugh), he got in on the side closest to the window.
We were facing each other and he had his ass towards the window. (Good thinkin Sal) Before I could make the first move, he reached his big arms, one over top and around my back, resting his big manly hands on the tiny flap of skin (which had I not been a gym rat, would be love handles) while his other arm went underneath my arm lying on the bed and up around my back, grabbing the back of my head. Then he effortlessly pulled me up against his massive body. My first thought: scent. No not gas (pervs). He smlled like pure musky man. That sent you canât wash off. My head started spinning.
I next noticed his completely furry body. Oh the hair drove me wild. The third sensation was him kissing, no shoving his tongue into my mouth. But what drove me over the edge was him pressing his hips into my hips aka his massive growing cock right into mine. Yup that sent me back into primal mode. I reached and grabbed the giant cock that though soft was growing bigger.
My animal instinct came lose as I pushed Salâs shoulder and shoved him onto his back. Not sure if I was actually strong to do so or he was just being nice. With my hand still on his cock I started jacking that massive cock as he lay on his back. With my other hand I massaged those two gigantic balls. If you had a fetish for big balls, this guy would drive you insane (among other fetishes).
His cock growing bigger and bigger in my hand. This 9 inch beast, maybe 10 when fully erect, could not possible get any stiffer. Itâs thickness drove me crazy, and I could not fully wrap my fingers around it. He started moaning loudly. Then I felt precum ooze out of his tip. Holy shit, Talk about a horny Italian.
He suddenly stopped and held his breath. I felt his whole body start to tremble. It made me nervous, oh man, was he going to explode? Kaboom, shot the first load, maybe 5 feet into the air, and then came spluttering down on my back. The next rope shot 4 feet and also landed on my back, as did the remaining 7 hot wet thick ropes. Jesus it was like a fountain.
My back was covered in hot cum and I didnât want to move. âPhew man!â Sal laughed then reached over top of me and grabbed my boxers off the floor to wipe the cum off my back and the remaining around his cock. In the morning I would wake up with a kinky smirk knowing I would have to wear my boxers covered with his cum.
Pt. 5, b)
Sal rolled onto his back, and grabbed my head and laid it on his massive hairy chest while wrapping his big arm around me. I felt his heart beating. He pulled my blanket over top of us and said âGood night buddy.â
I only suddenly then realized that he hadnât ripped ass in over half an hour. Was all that gas just a fluke? Despite his massive sexy body, his T-Rex sized gas oddly turned on and wanted more.
My thoughts were suddenly cut short as I felt his body tense up as he bit his lower lip. I swear the blanket actually fluttered some as he released a powerful loud blast that I felt blow on my leg. I could tell he had been holding it in and looked like it was painful for him to release. Almost as if, it was such a big fart, it was too big to squeeze out his sphincter. He let out a deep long sigh and I chuckled.
Not 10 seconds later I felt him hold his breath again as he let out rumbling fog horn. Again the blanket fluttered and this time I swear, I could almost feel the bed vibrate. The fog horn lasted a good 10 seconds. âJesus Christ Salâ He just laughed and lifted the blanket to âairâ it out. Sal then wafted the air and, well, it returned. I swear the entire room filled up with thick gas. I coughed a few times, genuinely struggling for air. And this was with the windows open.
He was smiling, but looked down at me seriously. âKevin if you feel like you canât breathe, just make sure you leave the room.â He made direct eye contact with me and I could tell he was being 100% serious. âNothing too bad ever happened but I donât want to take any chances.â He kissed me on my forehead and put his head back. Within under a minute he was emanating a light, yet manly growling snore. It was cute and I fell asleep shortly after
Despite being outrageously comfortable and content sleeping in his arms, I could have slept through the night, if not for well, yeah you predicted it. Every hour or so, Iâd get woken up by that same pattern: a sonic boom followed by a fog horn, followed by a putrid smell that even without him lifting up the blanket could fill the room. I wondered what under my thick winter blanket smelled like in a curious yet sexually devious yet slightly nervous fashion
The biggest problem wasnât that farts the that were waking me up; it was that they were turning me on and I hadnât cum yet. I was crazy horny. I couldnât sleep due to my frustration. At about 3am after 4-5 sonic boom/fog horn combos, I saw Sal was out like a lamp. Snoring loud (and manly). He ripped one huge sonic boom/fog horn combo fart. The biggest so far. I saw his face flinch and his body tense up. He muttered something inaudible and despite visible relief he was completely unconscious. Wow he was a heavy sleeper. (that turned me on too).
The horny bastard in me, devised a devious plan. If he can sleep through those boomers, he surely can sleep through a blowjob. (Youâs reading this might think thatâs weird but Iâm a man and I have needs.) Here I am sleeping next to a gassy, manly, tyrannosaurs Rex, whoâs got a thick cock and balls full of cum. I grew lustful thinking about beating my own meat while I sucked on his massive cock. Hell, heâll probably just think heâs having a wet dream. He might not remember it in the morning.
So like a greedy little piggy, I dove in under the coversâŚ. But like all greedy pigs, I got what was coming⌠All of Salâs massive gas earlier would seem like childâs play compared to what came next. In the next 5 minutes, I truly learned the extent of his gaseous power, and how genuinely inhuman this man wasâŚ
Sal sauntered over from the bathroom to the kitchen. âYou have any dessert?â He opened the fridge and I heard him let out a loud, long obnoxious open mouth belch. So manly. So sexy. âYou mind if I have some ice cream?â
âUhhh sureâŚ.â Despite being awkward at the gay club, he definitely was not shy, as he took the liberty to go through my food. But I thought, how could he be hungry after the enormous amount of Wendys he ate? (see pt. 1).
âDo you want chocolate or vanilla?â He asked me. I had just gone food shopping that day and had two full gallon tubs.
âIâm fine. Help yourself though. Bowls are in theââ He cut me off by walking back into the living room carrying both tubs of ice cream.
âYou sure?â He outstretched his arm, gesturing an entire tub to me.
âUhhh no thanksâŚâ He didnât put either tub back though.
I proceeded to watch him gorge through both tubs of ice cream in under 20 minutes. Iâve never eaten a half gallon of ice cream in my life, let alone two full gallons. And after right after that a dinner that could feed a family of 5. In just this hour alone, he had to have consumed over 4,000 calories easy. How? What? Why?
Seeing how much this massive man ate, turned me on. He finished, and with chocolate around his mouth and stains on his flannel shirt he said, âIâm just letting you know man, dairy gives me the worst gas.â He nudged me. How could it possibly be any worse than what I heard earlier? âWelp! Already started.â He Leaned to one side and ripped a long 8 second bubbly fart that ended in a muffled low tone.
Ok the other farts smelled. They smelled like really bad farts. But this, I canât even describe it. It genuinely made me instantly nauseous. I couldnât hide showing my disgusted face. Now I understood what dairy did to him. âGood thing you didnât ask me to spend the night!â
He joked, and despite feeling nauseaus I got sad. I wanted him to spend the night. Despite the genuinely offensive gas. âI can handle it. I was going to ask you to spend the night.â The thought of the big burly hairy man cuddling me all night made me melt
âYou really donât mind the gas?â He looked genuinely shocked.
I wanted to tell him that I found it sexy, but I still felt uncomfortable. âThe side effects of dating men.â I joked.
He belly laughed. âSee thatâs what Iâve liked about becoming gay. I was afraid because some gay guys are just as prissy as girls. I like that I can still be a man around you Kevin.â He lightly smiled at me. That was probably the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me.
Wait though, âbecoming gayâ ? weird thing to say. I wanted to press him, but chose not to ask.
âSpeaking of which!â He lifted one leg up to fart and I felt my heart skip a beat. But he apparently accidentally âŚâŚ BURRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP unleashed a monster of a deep belch deep from his gut completely unintentionally. The loudest one of the night by far. I could tell it would have gone longer but he started laughing. Cutting the belch short in between laughs. However, BBBBBBBRRRRPPPPTTT the fart he had intended to rip, immediately began before his laughing/belching ended. It was bubbly just like the last one. And a lot louder. âDo you listen to Tom Segura? Double Pipe Classic! Happens to me more often than you think!â He was cracking up
It was outrageously hot, but also genuinely funny. I wanted to compliment him, but the smell hit me. Iâm telling you. It was indescribable. In my head the potency of his gas was sexy. But it was actually painful how bad it smelled in person. I almost gagged. I suddenly began to doubt if I could let him sleep over. Though I wanted it, I actually questioned if I could handle this manâs gas all night.
He knew what was going through my mind. He suddenly got serious. âIf we open the window, keep the bedroom door open, you sleep facing away from me and we sleep with separate blankets, it shouldnât be too bad.â He clearly had done this before. âYouâll survive.â He smiled at me. Was he kidding? That was a genuine question.
âI trust you wonât kill me.â I smiled back at him, joking.
âI take many precautions. Honestly, trust me.â Now he definitely wasnât kidding. âIâm gonna piss and then lets go to bed.â I heard him begin the same routine as the last time he pissed. With the door wide open, he let out a long deep loud rattling belch, BBURRRRRPPPPPPP then the fire hose started from his giant cock making a loud sound like a cow peeing on a flat rock as it hit the water in the toilet. After an entire minute, while the piss started to end he let go a long low note rumbling bubble fart. It went on for 10 seconds. bRRRRPPPPTTTTTT. God he was manly, reminded me of a T-Rex. The fart apparently even surprised him. âShit.â He laughed. âGet Ready Kevin.â
I got nervous again about the decision I made, but decided not to change my mind. Suddenly despite my bathroom being 30 feet away from where I sit. The smell reached my nose. Somehow even worse than the first two. And it had taken over my entire apartment.
He washed his hands and walked back in, letting off 4-5 poppy but loud bubble farts, BRPT BRPT BRRPT BRRPT as he entered. He was smiling at me. Only then I realized he had his shirt off. My eyes almost popped out of my head. That thick massive hairy chest. Big burly shoulders. Wide muscly armsâŚ.. I forgot how bad room smelled.
âLetâs lay downâ He didnât have to light a fire under my ass for that.
Sal pecked my lips softly first and I kissed back. Then, reassured, he shoved his tongue into my mouth. I tried to kiss him back but he wanted control. I wanted him to have it. He leaned his entire body into mine, pushing his pelvis into my pelvis. He was really heavy, almost crushing me, but I loved every second. He wrapped both his arms around me and kissed my mouth deeper.
Just as I was getting into it he stopped kissing me and leaned his head to one side. He let go a monster belch with his mouth closed, yet still so loud and close to my ear, I almost heard ringing. It was deep and smelled awful immediately. Before I had time to react he shoved his tongue back in my mouth.
My 6 inch cock was rock hard. So I reached down into his crotch and felt a giant shaft over his jeans. Jesus it was big. And rock hard. He moaned into my mouth. I realized he had a wet stain on his pants from precumming, which made me moan back into his mouth.
That got him going. He swung around into a sitting position and forcibly pulled my face down to his crotch. Iâm not usually the guy who gets thrown around in bed, but his dominance was such a turn on. I could see the outline of a massive cock in his jeans. I rubbed it and mouthed at it causing him to moan. He suddenly took a deep breath of air in and let out a loud open mouth monstrous closed mouth belch, which rumbled on for 5 seconds.
That sent me over the edge. I unbuttoned his jeans and saw he had on white briefs. They were dirty and kind of smelly. Or maybe that was just his crotch. I could see the imprint of his cock and big balls even clearer now and started lick through his underwear.
I then lifted one of the thigh holes of his briefs and out fell two MASSIVE hairy balls the size of golf balls. The balls actually plopped onto the couch and made a thud sound. I started licking them like they were going to disappear. Sucking on them, making a big popping sound. Sal moaned loudly and said âfuckâ a few times. I put my tongue undernearth his balls and licked his taint. He winced in pleasure. I found his spot so I continued licking forcibly, watching him jerk in pleasure. His gigantic bull balls resting on my nose.
Though I thought about diving for his ass, that monster cock was beckoning me. I pulled his underwear down all the way and saw the massive beast cock get caught in his elastic waste band, and then spring up with force. Holy hell. Easily 9 inches and thick beyond belief. It actually took my breath away. I wasted no time diving onto it head first. I could only get halfway down due to its size, but he seemed used to that. His whole area smelled amazing.
I felt it growing bigger in mouth. I was jacking off while I sucked his shaft. He put his arms beyond his head and let out a deep sigh. I could do this for hours. After 5 minutes though I noticed he was concentrating very hard. Why? Was he trying to cum already? I wanted more time. To slow him down I moved back onto the balls. He motioned for me to stop and thatâs when.
BRPT. Right in my face. It was short, and loud but powerful. It actually made me jump. The smell hit me right away despite being so short. Rotten eggs again and I almost gagged.
âsorry uhhhhâŚ. Move your head for a secondâ I listened and saw him lean over to one side and let out a rumbling 5 second fart that shook the couch. Putrid eggy scent filled the air immediately and I again almost gagged. He fanned the air and laughed, âsorry I didnât mean to rip in your face. I really couldnât hold it in.â
Despite the awful smell I was hornier now than before. I immediately dove right for his cock without saying a word. He tried to stop me âwoah Iâd wait a minute there! Itâs a war zoneâ I agree the smell was burning my eyes being so close to his asshole but I needed his cock at that moment. I responded by staring into his eyes. Nonverbal communication.
He curled his toes put his head back, and spread his legs out straight. I saw him tensing again. I couldnât tell if he was holding in a fart or trying to cum. His cock was growing bigger in my mouth. Suddenly an eruption like one Iâve never encountered before. His low hanging balls produced a gigantic load. 8-9 thick hot ropes pumped into my mouth. They tasted delicious. I swallowed and felt it warm my throat. He growled during his release. I kept sucking because I wanted to make sure I got every drop.
My enjoyment was cut short because he proceeded to rip a short loud blast while my lips were still on his cock. I jumped back, again in surprise.
âSorry manâ He laughed âI swear Iâm not doing it on purposeâ he then ripped a more powerful fart that went on 6 seconds. Another rumbler and this time I felt it shake the couch. He didnât even lean just let it rip right in my direction. Hot.
âWait wait hold onâ In the same position, he pushed out a 10 second squeaky yet deep rumbler. The air was thick with sex and man gas.
âPhew well that was funâ He got up and walked into the bathroom. With the door open I watched him let out a gigantic deep belch, pissed for over a minute, and then ended the piss with three short loud farts.
My horniness turned to utter amazement and then back to horniness.
As a reminder, Iâm Kevin. I have dirty blonde, almost reddish hair and blue eyes. Iâm 27, 5â10â 170 lbs. Iâve been skinny my entire life, but Iâve been lifting lately and put on decent muscle. My body is tight with well defined abs. My arms are cut, biceps visible, not massive. My legs are toned. For a guy my size, I got a pretty nice bubble butt. I spend a lot of time on the squat rack.
But not nearly as much as the gentleman accompanying me to Wendyâs. The best comparison to Sal is a Giant Sequoia Tree. The 35 year old man stands at 6â3â and must weigh over 270 lbs. of solid muscleâŚwith plenty of beef. He was wearing loose fitting clothes, which though Iâd like to see his form fitting body, but made him look incredibly masculine. He had a button down flannel and a winter coat over top of it. But I could see he had massive arms. His shoulders were broad and his figure was wide. His neck was thick. His chest was monstrous. He had a big soft belly too.
He had on dark jeans. Iâm sure he intended his jeans to be loose like the rest of his clothes but his monstrous ass just didnât fit into them. I pretended to tie my shoe so I could let him walk in front of me. Holy hell. His tree trunk legs in those dark jeans were beautiful, but the two round globes sitting on top of his thighs were unreal.
âYou coming? Iâm starving hereâ I had caught myself in a daze staring at his ass.
âYeah sorryâ I ran to catch up.
The Wendyâs near the gay club was full of drunk gay men and there was a long line and no place to sit. It was hot and crowded. I had on a light jacket, but I could see Sal starting to sweat in his winter clothes. Woof. I also noticed he was uncomfortable. âHey Sal, how about I wait in line and you wait outside. Iâll pay for you.â
âNah, tell me what you want and hold my coat. Iâm going to have a big order, and donât want you to pay for all of it.â I let him win. Big order huh? I bet this massive guy eats a lot. Despite my small frame, I can pile food away. Iâm going to try and impress him.
âGet me the 6 piece nugget value meal. Large. And a spicy chicken sandwich.â I said in a cocky voice.
Sal didnât look impressed. âSounds good.â
I only lived a block away. I wanted to invite Sal to my place. Would he come? 10 minutes went buy and Sal came out holding 3 bags of food. Before I could ponder this Sal asked âSo do you live close by? Would love to chow down immediately.â My prayers had been answered.
âYeah 1 block away. Follow me.â
When we got to my place I turned on Sports Center and set up a place for us to sit on the couch. While I was getting plates in the kitchen Sal immediately dug into his food. I walked back in my living room and saw Sal had already finished 1 chicken sandwich. But how? I had only been in my kitchen for 30 seconds?
In the time it took me to finish my meal, Sal had eaten 2 spicy chicken sandwiches, a 10 piece nugget, a triple baconator, and 2 large orders of fries. And he still had another large fry and a large coke and a large frostie to finish off. Iâm not going to lie, his ability to eat so much turned me on. This was how he maintained his size. Surely he had to workout a lot.
I leaned back in agony and patted my belly. He took a breather also. He had eaten so fast, I was amazed. I noticed that his belly was massively bloated. He put his hand on his stomach and rubbed it. Then balled it up in his fist and pounded his chest twice. I saw him do this before.
BUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP
OK WOW. The belch lasted over 12 seconds and absolutely woke up my neighbors up. It was deep. I was doubtful at first that he could finish his large fry and frostie, but after that belch, I was aware he could make room. âPardon meâ He chuckled and then immediately dove into the rest of fries and then began spooning in his large frostie.
I wasnât going to say anything but I couldnât resist. âWow man.â I laughed, trying to play it off but secretly turned on.
âYeah, I guess I ate really fast.â Suddenly he got a nervous look on his face and put his hand on his belly. I heard his stomach gurgle loudly.
âYou alright?â
âYeah uhhhhâ He looked unsure. âI gotta fart thoughâŚâ he trailed off.
I was confused, but excited. âFeel free, were amongst men.â
âI should go outside.â He was being serious which confused me.
âNonsense, let rip man.â
âNo, Iâm going to stand in the hallway.â He got up and walked outside in the hallway and closed the door. ThenâŚ.
BBBBBRRRRRRPPPPPTTTTTTTTTT
If I thought the farts at the gay club were loud, this one created an entire new level. Even through my thick closed door, it was incredible. It was almost 10 seconds long and enormous bass. The volume was insane. My neighbors absolutely heard it. I caught myself wanting to smell it. I was waiting to hear a long sigh but instead heardâŚ
BRRRPT BBRRRRRPPT BRRRRRRRPT BRPT
He let our 3 medium length farts and 1 short one, all just as loud as the first one. This was incredible. Iâve never produced farts at that volume, and he just produced 5 in a row. Iâve never heard anyone fart that loud.
Suddenly I heard one of my neighbors open their door, and I heard Sal say âHi Sorryâ in a reassuring tone. It was 1am and I would have gone to check on that situation but I was too shocked and freakishly horny. Sal waited 2 minutes before coming back inside. âSorry about that. I think I woke your neighbor upâ
I tried to play cool, but couldnât. âOk what the hell was that? That sounded inhumanâ I needed answers.
He laughed and sounded nonchalant. âIâm just a gassy. It runs in my family.â That wasnât sufficient answer, but I could tell he wouldnât explain more. No way he farted like this all the time. I decided in my head he must have a stomach bug.
After 5 minutes of watching Sports Center in silence, I saw him put his hand on his chest, and I got excited.
Buuuuuurrrrppppppppp
Shit. Not as loud as his first belch, but equally as long. And it reaked like the food he just ate. Actually stunk up my entire apartment. I wanted to comment, but I withheld. Now I was really horny.
We sat in silence for 5 more minutes. I wanted to make a move on him, but he got up and went to the bathroom. I heard the familiar thick stream, and then another soundâŚ
BRRRRPT BBRRPT BRRRRRPT
âSorry about that.â Sal yelled from the bathroom. Shit. I was horny beyond belief now. Those farts were just as loud as the hallway ones only I could hear them clearer since he pissed with the door open (hot in and of itself). So much bass and so much volume. This guy was a monster.
He walked back in and trailed his gas with him. MAN OH MAN. This scent was pungeant. Before they smelled like garlic but now after Wendyâs, it was pure rotten eggs. I almost coughed out loud when he sat down. Sal noticed I was uncomfortable from the smell (despite being turned on at its powerful) but didnât acknowledge it. What kind of man misses an opportunity to joke about the farts. I had to say something.
âJesus christ Salâ I fanned the air. âDid that fart come from hell.â I played it off as funny, despite being really impressed and really horny.
He just laughed. âStrong brew manâ Sal Suddenly turned and stared right into my eyes. I got nervous but in an incredibly horny way. I had a boner growing in my pants. I felt like he was staring into my soul. I was afraid to move. Then he leaned in toward me, put his hand around the back of my head and kissed my mouth.
PrezLoopâs âSalâs Uncontrollable Gasâ - Part 1
I was never a guy who molded well to the gay scene, but I was forcing myself to go to a gay bar tonight. I was tired of being lonely, and hoping to make some gay friends. I donât think I fit the gay image though. Iâm 28, 5â10, thin but toned and muscular. I was skinny my entire life, but the past few years Iâve put on size at the gym. Dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, clean cut, preppy looking. Generally I consider myself more of a manâs man, than a stereotypical gay guy. OK⌠I wasnât always so masculine, but in recent years Iâve discovered I like being masculine and dating masculine men, so Iâve been conscious of it. One of the reasons I avoid gay clubs is because Iâm just not attracted to feminine men. I like men, manliness, machismo, masculinity.
While twinky boys I largely found unattractive were dancing away under a nearby discoball, I sat at the bar by myself and ordered a Bud Light. I saw no men who caught my eye. I felt awkward drinking by myself and was tempted to leave. Until I saw a hunk of a guy walk in with his head down who sat by himself and ordered a beer a few seats down from me. He looked 35 maybe, very tan, short thick black hair. He had to be about 6â4 and maybe 270 lbs. of big beefy muscle. He wasnât cut like me; I saw he had a belly, which I always secretly loved, especially because he also had a wide frame, broad shoulders, a thick massive chest and big burly arms. Best of all, he was wearing dark jeans but I could see his massive legs and huge globe ass. This man was so impressive I was able to note all of his physical attributes in the few seconds he walked by me.
He looked like a real guyâs guy, someone I wanted to get to know. I tried making eye contact with him to say hello, but he sat by himself staring at the TV, intentionally not making eye contact with anyone in the bar. Hell, he looked more awkward than me, despite us both drinking beer by ourselves. Normally, Iâm pretty shy and would never engage with him, but the fact that he was being more awkward at the gay bar than me gave me some confidence.
I decided to walk over and approach him, but as soon as I got out of my chair, he got up and walked into the bathroom. Did he reject me? Before I decided if I felt embarrassed, I remembered, half the guys at this bar saw me get up to walk toward this guy, so now I had to pretend like I was going to the bathroom too so as to look less awkward.
I nervously swung open the bathroom door and saw two urinals with no separator. Mr. Hunk of Beef was staring at the wall, pissing at one. He was tense like a statute. I grabbed the urinal next to him. He, of course, didnât acknowledge me, so I stared straight ahead not acknowledging him. In my head though, I was fighting every urge I had in me to not check out the gigantic package I knew this Monster had, mostly because of how loud and forcefully I could hear his thick stream sounded as it hit the urinal. It was turning me on. I had to approach him, but the bathroom couldnât be the place. I started to devise a plan in my head and I became lost in thought. Suddenly, Mr. Beef did something that actually startled me and caused me to jump: Â
BrrrrrrPt
Talk about a manly fart. Mr. Beef had ripped a short but incredibly loud fart at the conclusion of his piss. He then looked over at me with a slight, cocky (and very sexy, but also very charming) smile, as we made eye contact for the first time. âSorryâ he said with a slight chuckle. I wanted to say something back but I was too taken aback by how manly this guy was. I wouldnât call it a fetish, but I did secretly get turned on when men did manly stuff like fart confidently in public. And his was so deep, basey, and loud. It felt like he was establishing his dominance, despite it not smelling that bad.
I suddenly became nervous like I needed to say something or compliment the fart. I wanted to play cool, because this guy seemed like a genuineâs manâs man. I tried not to say something âgay.â While he was washing his hands I walked over to the sink and said the first thing that came to my mind: âLucky no one was standing behind you.â Shit. Was that funny?
âExcuse me?â He replied. Granted it had been over a minute since the fart.
âUh, your fart at the urinalâŚâ Shit, now I felt awkward. I shouldnât have said anything.
âOh,â He smiled âHaha. Sorry, I donât know if its rude to, uh, fart, in, uh, places like thisâŚâ I took comfort in how nervous he sounded, being glad I wasnât the only one. What did he mean by âplaces like this?â Gay bars?
âIâm sure grosser things have happened in this bathroom.â He laughed at my joke and I congratulated myself, but I also wondered if was I harping to long on his fart. Â
âGood, because by my standards, that was barely gross.â He chuckled and walked out of the bathroom. It was weird to me he didnât own how awesome that fart was. Manly guys love to brag about farting, and here this guy rips a gigantic one, but tries to play it off like it was barely anything.
I was turned on and had a sudden rush on confidence. I walked out of the bathroom briskly, grabbed my beer and moved to sit next to Mr. Beef. He looked surprised and uncomfortable but I chose to sit through it. âNames Kevinâ I said extending my arm. He shook my hand obnoxiously hard. Or maybe he was just that strong?
âSal.â He replied, and before I could respond, he cut me off to say âCan I buy you a beer Kevin?â Oh, Sal you could buy me whatever you want.
âSure, Iâll take a bud lightâ I responded.
Sal grabbed the bartenderâs attention. â1 bud light and 1 bud heavyâ
âBud heavy, manly drink?â I teased him. Beer had a tendency to make me gassy, and for some reason I wanted to hear Mr. Beefy Sal fart again. I hoped he would.
âYeah, only problem is, it makes me gassy.â And as if him saying that sentence aloud wasnât sexy enough, he proceeded to lift one leg on the chair and ripped and audible thumping fart on the stool, so loud I could hear the base blaster reverbate off the stool even though the gay dance music was playing loudly. Jesus, quite another big fart to rip, not even two minutes after his gigantic bathroom blast. This guy had game. And for some reason it was turning me on.
Unlike the bathroom blast this one smelled a little, like garlic. He looked Italian, so it figured. Sal fanned the air and chuckled. âSorry about that.â
I chuckled back and tried to play cool despite being turned on. âAll good man.â Again, I didnât know how to respond to that loud fart.
We then switched to small talk about the Patriots game on TV. Without realizing I noticed he was almost done his beer while mine was still ž full. Since he was ripping those manly farts, I wanted to impress him. I was pretty good at chugging beer. So I decided to tilt my head back and chug the rest of my beer while he was speaking. I finished in 10 seconds. No big deal. I felt cocky showing off how fast I could chug. And then I felt what everyone feels after chugging beers: a huge burp bubbling in my chest. So Mr. Sal can fart? Wait until he hears my monster belch. Iâll show him. I waited a few seconds before unleashing a monster belch, which even by my standards as what I considered an excellent chugger and burper, this one was loud. I burped away from his direction. Proud of myself, I glanced over at Sal to see how impressed he was, but Sal looked un-phased.
I was annoyed Sal didnât respond to my loud manly belch so when the bartender handed us both two new beers, I immediately chugged the entire bottle without even cheers-ing Sal. Sal looked confused. Ok, I had a little temper; I wanted Sal to acknowledge my belch. After finishing the entire bottle in under 20 seconds, I waited a few seconds and let loose and even bigger burp than the first one, this time right to the right of his face.
Sal stared back at me and looked very confused. Shit. Did I do too much? I wiped my mouth and apologized laughing to myself. Sal did a slow blink. Then without respond he lightly pounded his chest with his right hand in a fist twice, and took in a big breath. Oh man.
BUUURRRRRPPPP
He unleashed a monster of a belch that nearly blew my hair back. It felt like it was erupting from the depths of hell, so deep and guttural. It lasted over 5 seconds too. It was so loud, he caught the attention of all the twinky gays dancing. I was speechless. I should have felt embarrassed, but I was just too fucking turned on. This guy just produced gas in such a manly, casual way. It was overtly sexy.
Strangest of all, Sal, barely acknowledged his burp. He smirked lightly and went back to staring at Pats game. I had to acknowledge it. âShit man,â I said. He just smiled back barely making eye contact, playing that monster belch off like it was nothing. How was he not acknowledging his incredible gas? It confused me.
A few minutes passed before Sal turned to me, âDoes this place have good food?â
âNo, but thereâs a Wendyâs around the corner. I planned on stopping there after hereâ I was getting hungry and tired. I needed to get this guyâs number first, though.
âCool, Iâll join youâ Woah, did he just invite himself to Wendyâs with me? I was in heaven. How did I score someone so manly and attractice. Ok Kevin, play it cool. Play it coolâŚ
We finished our beers, grabbed out coats and walked outside. As soon as Sal shut the door I heard him groan. Then:
brrrrrrppppppttttttt
He strained to push out a long squealer fart that lasted over 5 seconds. Right in front of the bouncer, who looked grossed out but laughed. Sal moaned the whole time he pushed and it sounded like relieved an incredible amount of gas after he pushed it all out. Damn. Despite being outside, this was his worst smelling fart yet. Much more garlic this time. Â
âAhhh, was holding it for so long,â Sal smiled. For so long? He wasnât even in inside the gay bar for more than an hour total, and he had already ripped two gigantic farts, one not even 20 minutes ago. Again he seemed to barely acknowledge the rip.
âIâm starving. I might put this Wendyâs out of business, hahaâ Normally Iâd say he was exaggerating but this monster of a man with apparently unlimited gas, was about to prove to me he had several extraordinary abilities.
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