First Order Human Resources

Hello and welcome to HR. Feel free to ask us any questions or submit any concerns you may have. Also, please fill out our surveys so we can continue to make your First Order experience as pleasant as possible. Thank you and have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

No, the Allegiant General hasn’t given us a pay raise either.

[first-order-hr]

Human Resources here. Disregard this message. Have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

No, the Allegiant General hasn’t given us a pay raise either.

[first-order-hr]

Do you guys miss Supreme Leader Snoke?

Human Resources here. No comment. Have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

Hello, yes, I'd like to put in a request for Lord Ren to stop, er, choking me, please?

Human Resources here. Please keep content of this nature between you and Lord Ren. This is a PG-13 helpline….. Wait one minute, we have another call coming in. 

Thank you for your patience. We have just been informed that this was a serious request for assistance. Please fill in forms 187(b), 95-4, and optionally JZYN63 and file them directly into the trash compactor because we are not going to fight Lord Ren with one of our helpful staff. Have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

Resistance spies have sabotaged the Finalizer's engines. We're going to need all of the necessary materials to fix them.

Human Resources here. Please report to engineering. Unless this is a prank call, in which case we suggest you head directly to reconditioning. Our stormtroopers will be with you shortly. Have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

I had a friend that was sent to reconditioning. What exactly does 'reconditioning' entail??

Human Resources here. Reconditioning is a completely safe and perfectly harmless process designed to increase loyalty to the First Order within individuals. Your friend may experience some memory loss and a level of change in their personality; these are normal side effects of the reconditioning process and nothing to worry about. Should you have further concerns we encourage you to visit the reconditioning department yourself, where the qualified professionals staffing it will be able to assist you in being reconditioned yourself. Have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

// didn’t wanna answer asks with xkit on because it fucks up my tagging system and I don’t want the tags I use for this blog to get used on main, but I finally just.... turned it off so hopefully it saves my settings but in better news I’m here to post some stuff

[first-order-hr]

HR LIVES *𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗣 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗣* HR LIVES *𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗣 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗠𝗣*

((Yep! I’m still here, I’ve just been busy af with university and also the Star Wars MMO))

[eliosu]

First Order propaganda posters for my Dark Side comrades. I tried to create the kind of posters you may see in the First Order base and starship, with the new touches from The Last Jedi new content. Maybe the credit budget for operating the Order has been cut down sharply to rebuild the new base, but that doesn’t mean you can’t receive 5 stars brainwashing experience!

 Prints now available at my online (Society6 & Redbubble ) shop ( so you can get propagandized in your bedroom!                                          

[itsover09-deactivated20200721]

The war ended cause the First Order went broke in a month

[first-order-hr]

Do you guys have enough power in the First Order to stop the Supreme Leader from being so rude?

Human Resources here. We’re pretty sure if we had that kind of power we would have been promoted several times by now. May we suggest a policy of avoidance being adopted? Remember, stop drop and roll works for fires and no one has proven it doesn’t work for rampaging Sith Lords yet. Have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

Rumor has it that Stormtroopers actually sleep in their armor.

Human Resources here. Rumour also has it that individuals spreading lies around the First Order will be sent to reconditioning. Have a productive day.

[zarla-s]

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

I FIGURED OUT HOW TO FIX THE JUMBLED POSTS

Okay, so if you’ve noticed that when you go to your front page, a lot of old posts are randomly resurfacing and your new posts are getting buried under them no matter what you do, there’s a REALLY EASY fix for it!

Just go into the resurfaced old post, and edit it in some way. In my case, I added a tag that said “test”. Any kind of edit to the post will be fine as long as you save the changes. Edit: You might not even have to edit it! Just save the post again. If you have Xkit’s mass post tagger that might work as well? I didn’t test it.

Then I reloaded my front page and behold! The old post was back in my archives where it belonged!

(Incidentally, if the theory that this behavior is caused by posts getting flagged and unflagged, then you can see which posts of mine tumblr’s bot thought were nsfw by looking at the test tag)

[first-order-hr]

I wanna file a sexual harassment claim. The General keeps making bedroom eyes at his cup of caf and it is really creeping me out.

Human Resources here. Don’t we all? Announcement to all crew: this is an official First Order department, providing a valuable service to all registered First Order™ Officers, Stormtroopers, Loyalists, and Assorted Personnel. As such we are very busy, and extremely underpaid, and therefore do not have the time to waste with what are clearly jokes. Please be advised that further abuse of this service will be reported to, and dealt with by Security at their earliest possible convenience. Have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

What are the requirements I must meet to apply for work in the med-bay?

Human Resources here. Like any other First Order employee/conscript you must be able to pass a loyalty test before or after reconditioning. You will also need a valid medical licence from an accredited institution of higher education ie one NOT located on Nar Shaddaa. Alderaanian medical licences are not, and have never been, considered valid by the First Order. For requirements beyond this we suggest you inquire @first-order-medbay. Thank you and have a productive day.

[first-order-hr]

btw just so y’all kno i’m sticking around thru all this. dw if HR could survive the destruction of starkiller base and like half the first order’s fleet they arent gonna get taken out by tumblr

[first-order-hr]

What positions can I sign up for if I'm not physically fit enough to be a stormtrooper?

Human Resources here. The First Order is desperate particularly after the loss of Starkiller Base and a considerable portion of our fleet strives to be an inclusive employer and, as such, we have open positions for all regardless of gender, species, physical condition, or anything else which may be considered a barrier for entry into other lines of work. We advise you to report to your nearest First Order Recruitment Centre, who will be equipped with many informative pamphlets and handouts to help inform your future within the First Order. Have a productive day.