A Day In The Life

Trying to find my way. Baby witch. Just starting.

[theartofangirling]

Oh No

[goodbyeeveryonee-deactivated202]

I just finished babysitting my friend’s children, and she has most definitely mastered the no spanking/alternative discipline route. I always talk about taking it because I don’t believe in abusing children, but I’ve never personally seen it in action by a Black parent. Her children are 2 and 5 and they are the kindest, nicest toddlers I’ve ever met. They listen to her because she’s their mom and they automatically recognize she’s important and she gives them what they want (love and affection and rewards). In return they like to clean for her and give her artwork and cuddles all of the time.

To get them to listen to her, she makes sure to listen to them and what they’ve got to say instead of telling them to shut up all the time. The 5 year old asked her a few months ago why you can’t eat food that was on the floor after picking up food on the floor, and she explained it calmly and clearly. He asked 4 other questions after that and she answered all of them. He was satisfied and happy with the answers, and ever since he hasn’t done those things. She lets them gush and gush about Hot Wheels or Team Umizoomi and engages with them and counts with them and everything, so they never feel alone or neglected enough to not want to obey.

My friend lets them make mistakes by themselves on the rare chance they don’t listen so they can learn from them and let that be punishment enough. For example, the younger one we’ve been telling not to go near the dog cage because he doesn’t like dogs. He went near it a while ago, got his hand licked, freaked out, and hasn’t been anywhere near it since. The board on the wall that she uses has a column for each boy horizontally, and vertically are all the traits she wants them to have, like being nice, listening to her and their teachers, eating their food, cleaning up, having manners, etc. They get a sticker whenever they do it for the day, and they lose all their stickers when they break a habit. That’s enough punishment for them, so they don’t break it.

When they wake up, it’s cleanup time, or bedtime, she plays what she calls “musical habits”. She puts on a playlist of their favorite songs (it’s like 20-25 minutes) that make them feel motivated, and they should be finished getting ready or cleaning by the time the last song is over. If they’re not, they get a toy from their toy bin taken away or an Oreo from their snack bag taken out (aka eaten by her). But she hasn’t ever gotten to that because they always finish. They don’t even like hearing the consequences lol. And I just wanted to say I really enjoyed seeing good parenting by a Black woman that wasn’t abusive or harmful to the child’s development, it gave me inspiration and hope. Just had to talk about it somewhere.

[goodbyeeveryonee-deactivated202]

I wrote this post about a year ago. Since then, I’ve become the godmother to both of these babies, and they are STILL so well behaved. I babysit from time to time. They’re also enrolled in Montessori programs.

She’s now teaching them about mindfulness, Spanish, self care, and cooking. They have little yoga mats and practice breathing in and out with her every morning, and then they do affirmations together. I visited them a while back and they have a new board up! She created a system where they’re challenged with the task to do something nice for each other or for someone else every week. With this challenge they’re instructed to use their listening skills to figure out what that person might want or need, and then figure out how they should react. The only reward at the end of the week is a big hug and some snacks, and every month, she lets them have a movie day if they’ve done really well.

She’s also making them use their words when they’re upset instead of grumbling in silence. Her oldest one was notorious for that. She made up a little saying to remind him: “Mommy can’t help if Mommy doesn’t know.” It’s forced him to explain why he’s upset and that gives them a chance to have an actual conversation about it. Now they talk about ANYTHING. If they don’t feel like talking at that moment and they express that, she’ll lead them to their playroom and turn their favorite show on or let them meditate or draw until they’ve cooled down. She also accepts letters if they just didn’t want to use their words. It was so good to watch.

By the way, I got many messages about this post asking me to ask my friend where she learned these techniques. She said that she wrote down all the ways her parents hurt, hindered, or stunted her developmental growth and then wrote down ways they could’ve approached it better or loved her better. That second list is her guideline. 

[rashemibabe]

I usually see people say they’re never gonna treat their kids like their parents treated them yet end up doing it anyways. So this is encouraging… knowing that it is possible to be better than you’re parents.

[caroldanversenthusiast]

an icon, literally an icon

[vendriin]

Across the Universe (2007)

[jonphaedrus]

notre dame is burning.

this is ok.

it has happened before. it will happen again. it has been lost before. it will be lost again. and again. and again. and again. art and architecture are transient, and temporary, and 850 years may seem like a lot to the individual, who will live maybe 100 if they are very lucky and very healthy, but even the pyramids at saqqara have only existed for about 6000 years and that’s still not all that much, if you consider the grand scheme of things.

yes, this is terrible. as someone who is deeply religious and literally a professional historian with a focus on art and architecture, this is terrible. im mourning. im gutted. im horrified and upset and miserable. but.

it’s not over.

victor hugo wrote hunchback because notre dame du paris was in the process of collapsing and falling apart, and revitalized the entire world’s focus and love for this church, and that was not even 200 years ago. it led to it being renovated.

the roof has fallen in. the scars of fires are on its buttresses. the rose window has fallen out. the beams and piers have collapsed. the spire has toppled. the stones have suffered, and will suffer again, but it is not gone.

renovation work is essential. sometimes things collapse and burn and break and have to come back. it’s not a terrorist attack, it’s renovation, an accident, but we have so much evidence, history, carefully documented everything on one of the most studied places in the world.

it’s not the end.

[johannesviii]

Hey so, French person here. And also an ex History student. I’m here to say: Please listen to o.p. above.

Obviously everyone is shocked but here’s a few important key facts:

The roof is completely gone. Part of it dated back from the 13th century but the rest was from the 19th. The stone arch roof under the top roof is fine.

One of the three main stained glass rose windows has fallen out. Most of the other stained glass windows are okay.

The spire has fallen down and that’s the saddest part. BUT! It was in the process of being restored and the 16 statues that were there were removed just four days ago! So they’re fine.

The main structure is still here and nothing has “burned down” unlike what some people have been saying.

The “treasure” (sacred objects) is safe.

Notre Dame is still there. It’s just damaged. Almost nothing was lost today, and nobody was wounded either. It’s scary, but it’s gonna be okay.

[bearingwater]

Aquarians: known for being extremely active on social media, then seemingly vanishing for an extended period of time.

[firstimefangirl]

HHAHAHAHHAAHHA. no shit.

[bearingwater]

[wehaveourdragons-deactivated201]

[thebetterrachel]

I can never not remember this whenever someone says “abort the mission”

[sodamnrelatable]

but it was NOT YOUR FAULT BUT MINE

and it was YOUR HEART ON THE LINE

i really FUCKED IT UP THIS TIME

didn’t I MY DEAR

didn’t I my -

[buckysbaerns]

actor meme + darren criss

1. role that made you fall in love / first role you saw them in HARRY POTTER, a very potter musical.

[animusrox]

My Dick In a Box - The Lonely Island ft. Justin Timberlake Saturday Night Live - Dec. 16, 2006

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[hell-in-a-handbasket1]

@biffan

[sorrynotsorrybi]

“You can be married and monogamous and still be bi.”

<image is of diagonal blue, purple and pink with the above phrase in lavender block letters>

[tiktoks-we-like]

[joshpeck]

there is absolutely no way to predict how this video is going to end

[catchymemes]

[anime-penis]

i, and i can’t emphasize this enough, would literally die for merlin

[turing-tested]

there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces

[turing-tested]

anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure

[abigboysblog]

Why do kids love it so much? Like I remember when I was a kid at diving practice during the summer, the best part was when one if the coaches would toss you into the deep end. And in gymnastics coaches would toss us into the foam pit. Do kids just have a evolutionary urge to die?

[deanwinchesterisadorable]

https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/why-kids-wont-listen/

“Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. This is the sense that helps you understand balance, and it connects with all the other senses.

When the vestibular system does not develop properly all other senses will struggle to function properly. Without a strong vestibular sense, kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, experience more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking, and struggle with focusing and listening. Because they literally cannot help it.”

“Here are a few ways to support your child’s vestibular sense:

Spinning in circles.

Using a Merry-Go-Round.

Rolling down a hill.

Spinning on a swing.

Going upside down.

Climbing trees.

Rocking.

Jumping rope.

Summersaults or cartwheels.

Using monkey bars.

Skating.

Going backwards.

Swimming.

Dancing.

Wheel-barrel walks.”

Yeeting kids, spinning them, flipping them upside down, tossing them in the air, and otherwise disrupting their balance temporarily, is Important For Their Development, specifically for their vestibular sense.

Kids love this because they NEED it.

[severalowls]

In other words: Don’t forget to calibrate your child’s GPS!

[roseyturtles]

YEET THE CHILD FOR THEIR HEALTH

[arboreyes]

Don’t pretend like y’all don’t want to be yeeted as full grown adults. That shit is exactly what roller coasters and other rides are for. We need them cause we’re too big to just be properly yote

[styna]

YOTE

[whale-shark-queen]

Gordon Ramsay: calls people ‘darling’ and ‘sweetheart’ as it tends to be used as a friendly term in the UK and he only ever uses it in the friendly way

Gremlins: hes a mysoginist he doesn’t respect women at all :///

Gordon Ramsay: Cooks steak for a woman who was practically starving herself with a weird diet that cut out meat as she’d started working at a zoo that caused her to develop a gluten and dairy intolerance (shed only eat a baked potato or gluten free pasta with pesto and little else) who said she actually does enjoy meat but only if it was 100% organically and lovingly raised, goes through where and how the animal he’d gotten the meat from was raised with her, agrees that mass producing meat is a disgusting industry, raised two pigs himself in his back garden with love and care and cried when he had to send them to the slaughter house, calls chefs out on serving vegetarians things with meat products, is disgusted with frivolous shit like shark fin soup and any other food that involves senselelessly injuring or killing endangered animals for only a tiny bit of their meat

Gremlins: he couldn’t give a shit about vegetarians he hates them :///////

Gordon Ramsay: only screams, yells and swears at lazy, filthy, cheeky chefs who claim to be professionals with years of experience who can’t seem to follow the basic rules of hygiene/food preparation, is very gentle and encouraging with people who are still learning including children, is always ALWAYS respectful to wait staff (in the amy’s baking company episode when he learned that the owners were taking the tips of their one waiter he gave her his directly in front of them and also called them out on it in front of the customers too) and always starts off civilly until people give him shit

Gremlins: hes so over the top and verbally abusive ://///////////////////////// even top chefs can learn from their mistakes hes just a bully ://////

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

gordon ramsay is a good boy who did nothing wrong

[foxyfandoms]

I think these people need to watch clips of Kitchen Nightmares on Youtube. The people he yells at often ripping off and sometimes even nearly poisoning customers. There was one incident where bad lobster made someone so sick he had to call an Ambulance to the restaurant.

[fingerdownthebooksspine]

And never forget Amy’s Baking Company who was stealing tips from the waiters and waitresses

[foxyfandoms]

There was a hotel with the same thing going on. Dude was running it into the ground so bad giving all his friends free rooms, food, and drink and couldn’t even pay his staff and because most of his business was comped for his buddies.  He was taking from the tip jar whenever he helped on the floor on top of it. Gordan found out one group of his friends left hundreds of dollars that was supposed to be passed out to the staff as big tips and he downright pocketed it.

[werewolf-cuddles]

So basically, people who complain about Gordon Ramsey know jack shit about Gordon Ramsey