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@firstscn
Indie&Private account for Alexander Claremont-Diaz from Red,White Royal Blue. Loved by Laura ( GMT+1, 30+ ). Please be aware that this blog may contain darker themes such as depression, self harm, panic attacks etc.
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affiliated with: @waehles @fatedtruths @leschanceux
...yes. hello. i am alive! life and work have been incredibly stressful lately and the longer I didn't log onto my accounts the worse I felt. BUT I might try and do some replies at some point soon. I might also drop some things and start new, we'll see. But I miss you guys and hope you're all doing well <3
happy halloween!!🎃🕸️
[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories
I'm always gonna love you, Nora. It's more reassuring than Alex probably knows; Nora settles again, her hand in his as he squeezes. The bit about being a worm is a bit confusing, but she puts that down to the probable concussion she's sustained --- either that, or it's just Alex's brain going into overdrive and he's spewing words to fill the gaps in the conversation. She doesn't really mind the constant stream of chatter; it's quite comforting in this situation, even if it's making her already aching head hurt more to listen and try to focus on the words.
"I'm always gonna love you too, Alejandro," she says softly, drowsily, "even if I was a worm, I'd still love you." Their friendship is perhaps atypical, built on alcohol, the shared experience of being kids ( and then young adults ) involved in the country's biggest election campaign in a of generation and the fact that they'd dated before breaking up --- and now Nora was dating Alex's sister. What a mess. And yet, here they are, friendship as strong as ever. "...I'm scared." Has she already said that?
Alex, despite his own panic, hopes that he comes across as REASSURING. He knows that head injuries are no joke, but he's also aware that Nora will be getting the best medical care, and he's more than thankful for that. He can't imagine a world in which she's not here, where she's not his best friend and always by his side, through everything, no matter how messy things might have gotten between them.
"I'm gonna be here, okay? Always." He squeezes her hand, and holds it for as long as they let him, even throughout the ambulance ride to the hospital. He knows that there'll probably be news about this soon, but he doesn't care, all he cares is about being by Nora's side for as long as she needs him to be.
Knowing her little brother as she does, June follows him down, sits beside him, her hand in his as she squeezes as tight as she can. She might start to suspect that Alex isn't always as fine as he makes himself out to be, but this is the first time she's really seen him like this ( it's terrifying ). "Sure you are," she murmurs her sarcastic agreement, less bite to it than she might usually put there as she lets go of his hand, moves to embrace him as tight as she can instead, "you're absolutely fine, Lil' Bit. Nothing wrong here, huh?"
I'm fine. He wants to say, especially because he keeps repeating the phrase over and over in his head, as if it trick his brain into believing it, but he can't quite bring himself to actually open his mouth, especially now that June's wrapping her arms around him and holding him tightly. So instead, Alex closes his eyes and forces himself to breathe so he won't spiral any further as he digs his own fingernails into his palms in another attempt to keep himself grounded.
“Some people DON’T know how to do all of that though,” Henry said, voice sincere. He and his siblings didn’t know a bit of cooking, which really was a shame. They really should’ve learned how to in case they ever needed those skills. “But I’ll take your lessons to heart. If anything, you make it look EASY and I mean that in a good way.”
Henry wound his arms around Alex, tugging him in close while he can. It’s times like these that he wonders how he’s gotten so lucky. “You’re just saying that because I helped you get an A.” He leaned in to nudge his nose cutely against Alex’s. “But thank you, I appreciate that compliment.”
And then he kissed him softly, only pulling away when he really needed to so that Alex could finish up the food. When everything was done. Henry insisted on plating. At least there he could put his love of watching cooking and baking shows to the test. And he did have an artsy touch there. “Come on, let’s go eat all of this amazing food before it gets cold.”
"Yeah, well. I can TEACH them," Alex replies with a grin as he finishes up things, always making sure to keep Henry close. It's something he wants, too. To teach Henry things, and to learn things from him, because it means they'll get to spend time together, and not just right now, but in the future, too. He knows the other will eventually have to go back to England, but that's not something Alex wants to worry about right now, not when he's feeling so HAPPY for once.
He pulls Henry along to the table and settles down, digging into the food as they enjoy it together, talking about their day and, for once, not worrying about time passing so quickly. It's not until they've cleared all the food away, putting the leftovers into the fridge, that Alex wraps his arms around Henry again, chin resting on his shoulder.
"You wanna watch a movie? I don't think I've properly sat down to do that in a long ass time,"
Henry flushes at the praise, a spark flying down his spine causing him to shiver. “Alex…” He breathes, gulping down a moan and biting on his lip to stop more, especially as Alex’s deft, practiced fingers brush over his prostate. The Prince’s lips fall open and he pants a little, eyes focused on watching as Alex prepares himself, itching to help him but trying to keep to himself unless the other wants him to. “Please,” He says, and maybe he should be ashamed of how fast he says it, maybe he should play the game, but he can’t deny that he wants Alex, and he always has. “Please. Please, Alex, I need you. Please.” his body pushes back almost of its own accord as he feels Alex press into him, trying to encourage him closer. “Please…"
God, Alex fucking LOVES it when Henry gets like this. It's so different from the facade he puts on in his every day life, and the fact that only Alex gets to see him like this? It's exhilarating, really. He keeps brushing his fingers over the other man's prostate as he opens him up, well aware that Henry would be able to take him like this, but he does enjoy a bit of teasing, and he knows the other man feels the same.
He briefly considers pulling back when Henry pushes against him to get Alex to be closer, but he's only a man, a man who really, REALLY fucking wants this, so he simply lets Henry push back, slipping in further and leaning down to press a kiss to the other man's shoulder. "So desperate for me...fuck...baby..."
he gave the door a gentle kick so alex wouldn't notice the.... let's just say, a hurricane obliterated the place. not his shitty cooking skills. yeah. go with that. (he'll pay for the damages)
he smirks softly as he cuts a big slice of cake for alec.
"maybe they're aliens who survive on salad."
"Well, that sounds like a MISERABLE way to live," Alex replies with a grin, taking the plate from the other. Not that he doesn't enjoy a good salad once in a while, but eating nothing but salad for the rest of his life? Nah, that's not his style.
"It definitely LOOKS great," he then adds, before picking up the fork and bringing some of the cake up to his mouth, "thank you,"
"is it really?" he teased in return, knowing exactly what that was like due to his mind always seeming to be on and not being a cluttered mess. it was sometimes a surprise that he could get his work done with the way his mind worked, but at least it let him sleep at night when he needed it the most. "i did because i was with you." he knew that sounded sappy, but he didn't care as he gave the other man a smile. "how did you sleep?"
"Yeah, slept pretty well too." Alex is usually a deep sleeper, but that's mostly because he exhausts himself to a point where his body just shuts down and forces him to sleep through the night, which probably isn't the healthiest way of living, but oh well. "Any plans for today?" he then asks with a slight grin, "I'm thinking about a shower to start us off,"
The rustle of bedsheets is barely enough to penetrate his subconscious, and it's not until the floorboards creak under Alex's feet that Henry starts to come back to himself. Still, his gaze is blank, eyes fixed unseeingly on a point in the middle distance, and he doesn't register the reflection of his partner in the glass.
The heavy weight of a blanket draped over his shoulders is enough to startle him fully back to himself with a sharp inhale. Henry only relaxes when he feels the familiar press of Alex's lips to his skin. A vague hum is given to Alex's question. "Can't sleep," he states obviously, voice scratchy from lack of use.
He knows Henry has TROUBLE SLEEPING, or at least he used to have it, before they had ended up together, but while things had gotten better, Alex isn't naive enough to think that his mere presence would be enough to cure Henry of his worries fully. He keeps his arm wrapped around the other man, chin resting on his shoulder as he looks out the window and into the night.
"Any particular reason?" he knows that, sometimes, it's just general anxiety creeping up on Henry, he KNOWS that feeling, but if there's anything particular he can do, Alex wants to know. "Anything I can help with?"
"So you're telling me I'm supposed to believe that you can resist not jumping in the shower with me?" Elio joked, "Also how long do you think I shower for? Two hours?"
Alex's offer sounds reasonable, he has to give him that. "That sounds like a good plan but for the money part... I don't know... I know you love me and that you're my boyfriend who happens to have a mom with probably the highest-paying job in the country but it still would feel bad to take money from you." He pauses briefly before adding, "I guess I could ask my parents though." Truthfully he knew they would say yes right away, it would feel like failing.
Leaning in he kisses him, "Thank you." He mutters, "I don't have the words to express how grateful I am to have you in my life."
"Pfft. That's just LOGISTICS. I could figure it out," Alex replies with a chuckle, shrugging his shoulders. He knows it's of no use to argue now, they could, in fact, figure that out on the go. Adding stops, or staying longer, would be a possibility, and since his lectures were put online, he doesn't even have to worry about that.
"Me too. I don't think my life would have been as great if I hadn't met you," he offers back with a smile, brushing his fingers against the other man's cheek with a smile.
Q heard himself laughing as Alex's own amusement reached his ears. Until he actually registered what he had said and he stopped; his expression confused for a moment before he did his best to cover it up. Of course, it was silly to expect anything more when Alex had friends in the city, as much as it might feel like the American had come here just for him, that simply wasn't the case.
"Sorry." He added after a few moments, pressing a sweet kiss to Alex's cheek in apology for the words which were far too heavy for the current situation. "Yes, the weekend will be fun regardless of anything further." Q smiled then, the corners of his eyes crinkling up as he laid back. "If I were a bolder man I would have joined you in the shower. I'm sure you looked even more beautiful."
"Well, maybe we'll get there. I'm sure I can make a bolder man out of you," Alex replies with a slight grin, reaching up to brush his fingers against the other man's cheek. Truth be told: he has no idea where this is going, but at the very least they're both having fun, and if that's a given, then he doesn't think anything can go wrong either way. Back when he'd been younger, Alex had been all about planning ahead, but now with his career going pretty stable, he's not that worried about things as he had once been.
"I'll also be taking another shower this weekend, so you'll have another chance," he then adds with a slight grin.
incorrect quotes: rwrb edition (1/?)
Hearing Alex makes noises like THAT does things to him that he’s sure no one else has done before. And he’s been with people too, guys only. Though girls certainly tried. Henry hadn’t been interested. And now he knew why none of the guys had stuck, because he really had his soulmate out there waiting for him. “Well, it’s true. You are.” He poked at Alex’s chest playfully, grinning at him.
He feels the very same way Alex does. Being away from him, like they had been at the party, had been excruciating. Now that he’s back with Alex, it’s like he can’t get enough of him. Everything just feels BETTER when Alex is nearby, close enough to touch.
“It’s alright,” Henry says in a soothing tone. Alex is beautiful. With clothes and without. He wonders what his workout regimen is cause damn, Alex really does look fine without clothes. “I went to boarding school, dear. There’s a few things there you learn that don’t have to do with the books.” He winked at him then and guided Alex the rest of the way.
It was perfect, that night with Alex. Were there fumbles on both of their parts? Sure, but he didn’t care. Being with Alex had been euphoric in a way that nothing else ever had done. He tucked him in close, breathing slowing down, sweat glinting on his forehead. Henry rubbed Alex’s back gently, smiling at him as he pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “You really had nothing to worry about, love. You were brilliant.”
Alex does his best to SLOW DOWN, to really appreciate everything that's happening, because he knows that there'll be many moments like this with Henry, at least if things go the way he wants them to, he also knows there'll never be a first time like this again, and Alex will be damned if he misses only a second of it.
Admittedly, things go a little hazy eventually, but he has a feeling that that's just part of it all, and even if he can't remember everything, he'll remember the way it FELT to be with Henry like this, finally. Like something had been missing from his life all this time, and Henry had put things together for him.
"You were fucking perfect, baby." he mutters, still a little out of breath, "...like...fuck." A small laugh escapes Alex as he leans over to press a kiss to the top of Henry's head. "I've never felt like that before," He knows it's because of their connection, but still, he hadn't thought sex could feel like that if he's being honest. "I kinda don't wanna move, like...ever."
it wasn't the first time alex had brought up a real, true texas barbeque - henry couldn't help but to feel like something else was going on. he knew alex, know how he could get when he tried to hide something ... but he also knew that pushing him would only result in alex pushing back and likely an argument between the two of them that would ruin the weekend that had been planned.
a breath escapes him and he follows, because he always wants to follow alex when they're together. it's a ploy to distract him ( or maybe to distract alex himself ) and henry wants so badly to push back but he knows better. instead he smiles, something small but still sincere as he shakes his head. ❛❛ absolutely not. ❜❜ he's well versed in how spices are thrown around with such ease amongst their family but henry? he can't do it. ❛❛ you know what happens when i try, i end up looking like a tomato and you are no help while you laugh at me! ❜❜
"Yes, well. You gotta start building up SOME tolerance to spice if you wanna be my friend," He's teasing, mostly, because he knows Henry can barely handle any spice, and there would always be something to eat for him whenever he was with Alex, but still. It's easier to tease him, too, than to focus on what he'd just figured out, because...well, Alex has a tendency to ignore his problems until they go away. ( He's not sure this one will, but he can try, right? )
He can keep himself busy with cooking for a while, but it's like something has SHIFTED now that he knows, or maybe he's just more aware of it now, it doesn't really matter, but he feels himself being drawn to Henry more and more, trying his best to keep his hands busy so he won't accidentally touch him. "How's the salad coming along?"
a girlfriend is just a weighted blanket that bites you
