escape into writing

I'm Ariel. Imogen Poots is bae. I have way too many voices in my head and it's become impossible to ignore their sudden bursts of energy. I don't have a ton of free time on my hands, and muses can be flighty. Also, remembering passwords are not my forte. So, this is a mash up of plotbunnies that come to me in the shower, at work, driving, etc.

[fishbuttwrites]

“You aren’t seriously about to use eenie meenie minie moe to choose a take out menu, are you?” Attina laughed as she sat cross legged on the couch next to her sister. “Just choose! Pizza or... I don’t know. I love brick oven pizza.”

[fishbuttwrites]

oh, you know me, casually popping on after months of inactivity

[fishbuttwrites]

I really miss Attina... If anyone is interested in some mermaid rping or a land adventure for this fishbutt, please message me! This is my old blog if you wish to see a sampling. 

[fishbuttwrites]

I really miss writing Adella...

[fishbuttwrites]

Filled with Doubt

{ TRIGGER WARNING: EMOTIONAL ABUSE }     

    “I’m not asking for much, Rae! Just a text message back saying you are okay. And what time you’ll be home.” He sat down at the kitchen island, pounding his palms down against the cold granite slab as his lover turned her back towards him. More interested in getting a juice to rehydrate after drinking all night. 

      “YEAH. Followed by in depth detail of who I’m with, who’s meetin’ up with us later and gaslighting me that you couldn’t--” Must you always fucking interrupt me?!       “That’s not fair. You leave me at home with nothing to do. I don’t have a license so what am I suppose to do when you go out on these supposedly girls’ nights?”         “I don’t know! Anything? There’s plenty of shit to do! Cleaning? The laundry? Or dry the dishes from the dishwasher because TEAS FORBID you actually make a phone call without me and actually schedule a damn mechanic to look at the dishwasher!” Rae slammed the door to the refrigerator shut and turned to face her partner. “I’m not your mother, Adrian. It’s an unpleasant and dissatisfying job-”       “I’m not asking to be babied-”       “Then what do you want from me? Should I go out and get a damn microchip implanted into my freakin’ wrist? Huh? Then you’d always know where I am, hmm?”       “I just want you to be honest with me!”       “I AM HONEST WITH YOU!” the woman screamed, head shaking as she finished her sentence. Silence fell around the quarreling two as they locked eyes for the first time all night. Rae’s hand around the juice bottle squeezed, knuckles turning white as her thoughts battled with her heart’s desires. Sophie’s right, a small voice admitted softly. But she wasn’t ready to give up. Was she?Adrian was the first to look away. And Rae’s gaze fell to her feet as she placed the bottle on the counter. She cleared her throat and looked back over to the man that once made the moon dim in comparison. “I’m... going to sleep over Sophie’s tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.” Her voice shook as she forced the words out of her throat. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as silence fell over them again. She walked out of the kitchen, turned down the hallway and slummed her way up stairs to pack a few things, three outfits incase she didn’t feel right about coming back the next day.

However, they wouldn’t revisit this conversation the next day. Or, seemingly, ever. When Rae turned her key into the lock to the front door and pushed it open, she was greeted by nothing but the echo of her own shoes as she slowly explored her home. Immediately, she could sense a change. The warmth of the house was stripped away and the energy of the land hallow, cold. “Adrian?” Rae called out before looking into the studio. 

A gasp choked free before her hand could clasp over her mouth. The basses, electric piano, synthesizer, everything that made her lover shine through music: gone. A stack of papers rested on the couch, calling out to the confused human as a clue. “No.” she whispered before turning around and running for the stairs. “Adrian!?” her voice sounding more frantic, confused. “Adrian!”

She pushed open every door as she ran for the master bedroom, hoping it was just a bad thought gone rouge. Her eyes pooled with tears as she noted where his piles of dirty clothes once rested laid clean. The glare from the early afternoon sunlight glared back at her as she stared at the empty space. Her legs willed their way to the dresser, even though she knew what she would find. Or rather, what she wouldn’t find. 

Slamming the oak drawers shut, her hands flew up to her hair, raking, tugging, knotting, as she did a full circle examination of her bedroom from where she stood. The faint smell of salt and kelp clung to the air, mixed with earl grey and sweet rose hip. Rae fell to her knees as she found herself staring at a picture of her and the departed man at the town fair late last fall. Her chest heaved as her heart threatened to crack as it once did many moons ago, over a different undeserving man. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her body battle a pain she didn’t quite recognize. Then, she let it all out. 

Rae screamed. She screamed out of pain for leaving Underland in the first place, leaving her elderly father in aid only to his sister and niece. She screamed for being wronged by the band group she gave everything to. The people she believed to be family. Then, the people that took her in as one of their own, only to give her a small role of a hostess inside the park - never a performer. She slammed her shaking fists down against the wood floor as she screamed out for the lover she never thought would harm her. He promised that she would never fall. Now she laid in a curled, weak pile on her bedroom floor, clinging to what she believed would last her life time. 

He left, without so little as a goodbye. 

Later that night, after she peeled herself from the floor, Rae wrapped herself in the warmest, softest, robe she could find and dragged her fingertips along the walls as she walked towards the studio room. Maybe he did say goodbye, she tried to convince herself it wasn’t as bad as she was making it out to be. 

Instead, the drafts of songs he discarded, leaving her to find, were all dated months ago, dedicated to the same Underland bobcat with bright, wild blue eyes. Eyes that now were surrounded by swollen red skin, irritated from hours of crying. Their love had died weeks before she had even realized hope was lost. How can someone give up on years of love? Years of commitment? Or happiness? He was so adamant about living together, yet he gave up long before her. To the music artist inside of her, the stack of songs served more meaning and answered more questions than any letter could. But where did she go wrong? She gave him everything, almost every piece of her seemed to be complimented by his absurd, unorthodox self. But she was happy. She was content with him checking in on her every hour, butting into every social event that he could. Freaking out at her when she was five minutes late to getting home at night. He cared. That’s what mattered in the end. 

There were nights that she needed to ignore her phone to avoid looking rude to friends because she had already explained to him four times beforehand that it was a girls’ night. They would have a romantic night in the next night. Except, they wouldn’t. They wouldn’t leave the couch except for bathroom breaks and even then he gave her a sad expression for a moment of alone time. Love was never easy, she constantly reminded herself. Her own reactions to his neediness were harsh and lacked understanding. He wasn’t like her, and desired constant and instant gratification for small accomplishments, small completed chores. But, that’s who they were, wasn’t it? An awkward pair tied together by a unbreakable bond, only severed. 

Rae thumbed through the small pile of scratchy penmanship then tossed them into the empty wire waste bin next to the doorway. Her hands rubbed against the soft material of the robe in a weak attempt to ground herself. This wasn’t her. Rae Macha wasn’t a small, feeble, woman who lived to satisfy the whims of other people. She once was so blunt, people feared her yet respected her mind and thoughts she brought to collaborations. Macha was different from those from this realm and wished to bring her own insight to their world, to mesh the two together and find a common ground. She had dreams bigger than this town. The bobcat settled for less than her worth and now found herself empty handed, with not even a hand to hold or another to brush her tears from her cheeks. Slowly, she would realize it wasn’t her fault. Some stories didn’t seem to have happy endings. Perhaps love and happiness were exclusive terms in her life. She needed to make a change and stop reflecting on the past: whether it be her choices or the choices of others that harmed her in the end. 

Though it pressed as a lonely life to live without romantic love, happiness will get her out of bed each morning for the next six months as she appraised the house and sold it before the eight month mark. Happiness would find her in the heart of a loud, always vibrant city two hours south of the town that claimed three years of her life. Happiness, independence, self worth, forgiveness gave her reason to continue on and not study his photographed face for another moment after he left. If romantic love and life happiness were not meant to intertwine, Macha knew which one was crucial in a life of music. She would, and always choose herself, happy.

[fishbuttwrites]

when you miss an old muse so much that you write the equivalent of a tiny book about her life since leaving her partner

[wordsnquotes]

I loved you long before I had the guts to let you know.

William Chapman (via wordsnquotes)

[weofstories-archive-blog]

Surrender The Night

[weofstories-archive-blog]

Chai couldn’t help himself. Generally he was a bit of a flirt, and tonight was no different. He knew his friend would catch up eventually… he just realized it would be a bit. Then again, the way he talked about Sophie he wasn’t surprised. Eli was smitten beyond help and Chai was no competition for a pretty little bunny, even when it was in regard to his former childhood friend.

However, at the woman’s response he rose an eyebrow. “Well, that’s smart. The dangerously handsome ones are the worst.” A boyish, playful grin plastered itself on his features. There was nothing more attractive than a sense of humor… and this woman certainly seemed to have it. She was coy, and seemed smart. At least in the brief moments he’d had her attention. 

“Name’s Malachai but you can call me Chai. Or anything you like really. I won’t complain, I’d just be happy you’re calling me anything.” The grin was accented once again, this time with a flirtatious wink. He didn’t waste any time… sure he came on a bit strong, but in most cases he dialed it back enough that they didn’t feel pressured or trapped. He’d been in that situation and didn’t enjoy it. That was where most men went wrong.

[fishbuttwrites]

“Mm,” Mae practically purred in agreement as her toe tapped against his chair in front of her. “I have strong will power, but sometimes I can’t help myself. Apparently I’m very alluring. Would you agree?” She wasn’t sure when Sophie and Eli would be gracing the restaurant with their presences. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. She just felt bad for Eli’s friend. Hopefully he decided to call and cancel, already catching a forecast of being in an awkward situation with one stranger and two goofy lover types. Her current situation could work out in her favor. His mischievously smile made her heart thump out of rhythm, reminding her of being a kid in Wonderland and playing out in the fields with Missy and Mally, wandering into new territory and then bolting home to avoid getting eaten. She missed that thrill. 

The dormouse curled over a little as she laughed, resting her free hand in her lap but careful to keep what little of her drink covered by her hand. She pushed the glass across the bar as a signal to the bartender. “Well aren’t you friendly. Possibly one of the most friendly men I’ve met since moving here.” Her attention turned away from him for a moment to wave her fingers at the bartender in a greeting. She spun her head around towards the panda and rose her brow playfully, “what are we drinking, Chai? First round is on me. I insist.” 

There was no fun in clapping her hand on the back of his shoulder and dismissing the man. She wasn’t in any danger other than giving out her phone number by the end of the night. He seemed different. Though she wasn’t sure how to interpret that in the first five minutes, it was better than being alone in a bar. He was pretty and well manured, more than she could say for half of the people she’s met in the town at night.

[grl-crushh]

[young-wild-but-saudi]

Me

[fishbuttwrites]

when the muses are awake but don’t wanna be helpful and do stuff so you’re just sitting on your bed thinking ‘what do’

[fishbuttwrites]

Sour Little Flavor in my Mouth

[weofstories-archive-blog]

Sophie remembered the times in school. The way she could almost always feel eyes on her. But never really realized it was him. Sure there were glances. There were little moments when their eyes met. Sure after the incident Sophie shied away. Mae’s words making her draw back. All evidence did point to tampering… She’d never wanted to believe it. Not really. She didn’t want to think that he’d do it. But Mae was her best friend… She believed Mae over almost anyone.

She practically crossed her eyes to watch him pat her nose. A little giggle following the action. “Don’t mean vegetarian… but how you can eat things that smell like… that. And have little weird wiggly legs.” She held up her hands together for a moment and wiggled her fingers mimicking tentacles or something of that sort. “They’re creepy. And stinky.”

She held his hand tightly as they wound through the crowd. Not wanting to lose him. Not really wanting to even have any distance between them. Afraid to lose him again for good. “It IS a crime.” She stated almost too seriously before she grinned wifely. The wink making her heart flutter. She followed his lead, and looked up at him when he spoke and her eyes went wide. Surprised, that he could ever assume that she’d… what? Get tired of him? “You could never.” She nuzzled her head against his arm lightly as they walked. It was something she used to do when they walked side by side. A gentle touch that was more than hand holding. A way to let him know that she loved him. Silent but the small gesture held many memories and quiet moments between them. He would understand.

[fishbuttwrites]

Eli’s grin cracked nearly ear to ear as he laughed at Sophie’s disgust about eating octopus. He shrugged off the creepy comment. “They don’t stink when they’re out in the ocean,” he rose his brow, as though he won the entire argument about whose diet was more logical. “And you haven’t tried them covered in breadcrumb, smothered in butter and dipped in tar’r’d sauce.” His hair bounced as he shook his head, “it’s good, Soph.”

The fox’s head started spinning, vision blurring for a couple of seconds as Sophie cuddled into him. There was her scent again. He wanted to slap himself across the cheek for the thought of just sniffing his shirt when he got home, hoping it would smell like her. He choked on his breath as he held her closer to him, “okay.” He mumbled into her hair as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. His eyes closed for a moment as he let a soft, happy, smile light his face. The fox had his bunny back. Now he questioned when would be the appropriate time to ask her to move into his apartment. Or better... when could they look for a house together? It was a passing thought while they resided in Wonderland. However, with more time behind them and the certainty that this will last his lifetime, this love for Ms White, he wasn’t breaking the promise of forever. 

Begrudgingly, Eli opened his eyes to steer them in the right direction for dessert. He tilted his head down to look at her face briefly then turned them down around another block. “So are you sharing with me? Or are we ordering three?” His chuckle muffled as he buried his nose into her hair. I’m pathetic. But she loves me. 

[fyeahrpmemes-blog]

For rpers: reblog if you are 18+

[weofstories-archive-blog]

Surrender The Night

@fishbuttwrites

Chai was boredly staring at the bar, he had one drink that he’d been sipping at for a while. He was suppose to meet his best mates girlfriend tonight. Apparently she was bringing a friend too. He and Eli had been friends in school… turns out even without contact they hadn’t grown too different. However, Eli didn’t seem to be the most punctual… He finished his drink and ordered another, except this time it was just a coke. It was safer that way. His large, fluffy tail flickered behind him boredly. They were suppose to meet up ten minutes ago. He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text but with no immediate reply he turned his attention to the other occupants that were hovering around the bar.

It was a casual restaurant, with a bar room off set from the dining room. They’d planned to meet at the bar and find a table together but i was taking a while. And Chai figured it wouldn’t hurt to chat up some of the attractive women that were around the bar. One, a mouse had been sitting alone since he got here. She looked as bored as he was. So, being the gentleman he was… he hought maybe he could entertain her.

He grabbed his drink and slid into the seat next to her. “What’s a beautiful woman like yourself doing out here all alone? Can I buy you a drink? Or snack if you prefer…?” He rose a brow and flashed his most charming smile.

[fishbuttwrites]

Mae slowly scoped out the restaurant as she strode over to the bar. Taking a stool, she heaved a sigh and motioned towards one of the bar tenders. And it’s already started. By it, she referred to the quicksand two individuals fall into when they enter a new relationship -- dicksand. As her best friend, Mae was excited for Sophie and relieved to see a genuine smile on the bunny’s face every morning. The automatic change in the vibe of their apartment after running into Eli a while back was almost ridiculous. But she’s happy, the mouse reminded herself as she sipped her gin tonic. The most recent, annoying, development with Eli and Sophie dating again was the way time slipped away from the lovers. They promised they’d catch up in a minute. But judging by the smirk on Eli’s face and Sophie’s flushed expression, Mae was going to be solo for at least an hour. 

So much for friends’ night out. Mae slowly sipped at her tonic and let her mouse ears take in the noises surrounding her. There were plenty of handsome faces, and surely one or two of them would buy her a drink to help pass the time. Before she could settle on a victim, she found herself staring at a handsome man with a ridiculously fluffy tail. Though she held in her laugh, her flirtatious smile showed a hint of amusement as he sat down beside her. As if on cue, Mae turned effortlessly towards her new friend and crossed one leg over the other to accentuate her long legs. 

“I’d love to tell you, but I was raised not to talk to strangers, not even deviously handsome ones with Wonderland lineage.” She smiled again, placing her hand over the top of her glass out of habit as she offered her other hand. “I’m Mae. And you are...?”

[fishbuttwrites]

Chaos Enjoys Company

[weofstories-archive-blog]

Chai was just about to round the corner when he was sent tumbling backwards, falling flat on his butt. He sat stunned for a fraction of a second before he turned brown eyes up at the hand offered to him. He caught on quickly, especially seeing the blue paint coating the hand offered to him. “It’s no problem.” He pulled himself up. However, he knew whatever it was chasing the man couldn’t be too far off. One didn’t run like that when they had plenty of time.

He didn’t waste anytime and pointed down the path he’d just come out of before being run into by the fox. “Go, wait there.” He nodded with a grin. He hadn’t really gotten much of a look at the man yet but something about him screamed familiar. He pulled his hood up and stepped out back the way the fox man had come and was immediately grabbed by an officer. “Hey, whoa man.” he tugged the hood down once again. “I think you got the wrong guy, just saw a fox head off that way though, if that’s any help?” He gave them a charming boyish smile and pointed off a different direction, hoping that the other man was staying hidden. He really didn’t feel like getting taken into custody over being an accomplice. Not today at least. The police thanked him in a rushed manner and ran off. He caught something about hope we can catch up or something. He waited until they were gone and ducked back around the corner. “You’re safe now, you alright?”

[fishbuttwrites]

Eli blinked, not understanding what the other guy meant at first. His wit quickly caught up however and he gave a nod of gratitude and dashed down the path. He pushed himself up against the building and hushed his breathing before looking down at his hand. “Nice going, Grey,” he mumbled to himself with disdain. This is what happened when one didn’t have friends besides their girlfriend. His roommate situation left nothing to the imagination in terms of worst roommate in town. Maybe it was time to kick the dude to the curb. Surely he could find a way to make up the difference for rent -- or find another sucker to sign the lease. Just as he started to draw up an action plan on getting his roommate out of the apartment, his ears twitched. A smirk grew on his face as he heard the officers take off in the opposite direction. 

Stepping away from the wall, he laughed and offered his fist to bump with his new found best friend. “Thanks, man-” Eli stopped suddenly as he studied the panda’s face. His nose twitched as he sniffed the air. “...Chai...?” he questioned the man. Could it be? Familiar scent, the grin, something in the accent too all lead him to believe that it was the same red panda cub that he friended many moons ago in Wonderland. It had to be Malachai. If not, this conversation went zero to creepy real quick. 

[entertainingfaith]

I'M DOING AN EXPERIMENT

To prove something to a friend, please

REBLOG IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

LIKE IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS DON’T BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

[spacexualkids]

:)

[fishbuttwrites]

Chaos Enjoys Company

@weofstories

“Shit, shit, shit,” Eli Grey hissed as he checked behind his trail. Two taller, thicker, police officers were chasing after him on foot. The only good point of his position was that his fox ears couldn’t pick up on any car sirens. And his feet could carry him faster than both officers. Two positives against too many negatives. The biggest one being his right palm and finger tips covered in bright cobalt blue paint. A simple, stupid prank as a result of restless boredom turned against him. 

The fox glanced behind himself again and choked on his breath. One of the officers was using his radio, probably calling dispatch. Eli whipped his head around and quickly put his arms up to block his head from colliding with someone he didn’t see in front of him a moment ago. He sent the other being tumbling down and jumped up as fast as he could. “Crap!” Eli raked his hand through his hair and frantically looked around. It was too late. He was out of ideas and angles to work. “Soph’s not going to like picking me up at the station.” He glanced down and offered a hand to the other person, “sorry, man. Didn’t see you there.”

[tibbielu]