Personal Blog To Motivate Myself

Romani. NB. Pan. 26. 5,11". Date I began: December 17th 2017. SW: 255 CW:201 GW1: 230 ✅GW2: 200 GW3: 180 UGW: 155

[fitnesschangesjourney]

It has been a while.

I’ve missed all of you. And posting on here regularly. Life has been hectic and full of challenges. J has just finished his first round of radiation and chemotherapy. Now we just need to wait. After a four week break we will do an MRI and see if the tumor is gone fully, or if it is back. A few weeks ago we had a horrible scare. J had headaches again and we went to the hospital. They saw two images but could not definitely say what they were. Swelling from the radiation. Swelling from surgery. Swelling from medication. Or worst yet, two tumor growths. We won’t find out till weeks from now when they check again.

In the midst of all of this we have suffered grave financial difficulties. I have been out of work and trying to find SOMETHING to pay the bills. Countless interviews later and still nothing. Meanwhile bills pile on. I know I haven’t been as around as y’all would like, but I really need help right now. Please, if you’re able to, please donate something to help us survive this. And please forward and share J’s PayPal to others.

https://www.paypal.me/JZamora8

Here is an updated image of J. Cute ol bald headed, and celebrating avocado day with a silly selfie.

I love you all and thank the world for the support in my inbox.

[todayinhistory]

July 20th 1925: Frantz Fanon born

On this day in 1925, 90 years ago, philosopher Frantz Fanon was born in the French colony of Martinique. His family were part of a black middle class which strove for assimilation into white French culture. However, the young Fanon was exposed to ideas of racial identity which rejected such assimilation and, conflicted, Fanon left Martinique to fight in World War Two. After the war he remained in France and studied psychiatry and medicine at university, where his philosophy was shaped by his own experiences of racism and exposure to Marxist ideas. In 1952, he published his book Black Faces, White Masks, which argued that black people have to wear ‘white masks’ to survive in a white world.  He moved to Algeria in 1953, and was working in a hospital during that country’s war of independence against France. Upon witnessing firsthand the brutal French repression of anti-colonial resistance, Fanon felt he could not aid French imperialism and resigned from the hospital, instead devoting himself to the Algerian independence movement. While working as the provisional Algerian government’s ambassador to Ghana, Fanon was diagnosed with leukemia. As his condition deteriorated, he wrote his famous The Wretched of the Earth, which denounced colonialism and justified the use of violence in independence struggles. He received treatment in the Soviet Union and the United States, and died in Maryland in December 1961, aged 36. 

“When we revolt it’s not for a particular culture. We revolt simply because, for many reasons, we can no longer breathe”

[fuckyeahanarchistposters]

#AbolishICE poster design by Phoebe Wahl

[toadoasis]

Me: *listening to various genres of god knows what* Spotify trying to make my discover weekly:

[fitnesschangesjourney]

@dread-v

[fitnesschangesjourney]

Only two months post surgery and the tumor is back.

I can’t breathe. I don’t know what to do. Fuck.

[mysharona1987]

[alphacrone]

girls don’t like boys, girls like the pastoral escapist fantasy of living in a large house with many friends and several pets on a beautiful chunk of land with no financial, political, or medical anxieties. also, bread. 

[popokko-deactivated20210315]

bird: *bounces instead of walking*

me: fucking superb you funky little dinosaur

[pinkmisspiggy]

being touchstarved makes u absolutely buckwild when someone does smth simple like .share a chair with u

[pinkmisspiggy]

like having someone touch your hand with the tips of their fingers shouldn’t feel like So Much it shouldn’t feel like your whole body is going into anaphylactic shock but here we are. here we are.

[pinkmisspiggy]

ok 2 many of u relate

[kaijuhearmenow]

Someone gave me a compliment and reached out and squeezed my hand and I fell in love and couldn’t speak for several minutes

[felesrubrum]

I was just gonna type this in the tags but I have to say this.

Growing up in North America is surreal.  Every tiny little blip of physical affection is deemed as sexual interest. Boys aren’t allowed to hug eachother because “that’s gay.” Girls can’t hold hands because “are they going out?” And GOD FORBID a female friend hugs a male friend.

Having lived in the Netherlands, and reading up about shit like this, Canadians and Americans are starving. 

I went to Japan for a school trip in 2012. I went to a highschool there. There were boys hugging, lounging on those blue gym floor mats, holding hands, trowing their arms around eachother. I was startled by how shocked I was.

This mentality of “if you’re touching you must have sexual interest in the other person” is so fucking disgusting. Hug your friends. Hold hands with them. Touch their hands when you want to reassure them.

[fitnesschangesjourney]

Will always share

[xswestallen]

When I’m scrolling through a blog and see they reblogged one of my posts

[stonedbabyygirl]

drink some water you beautiful and capable but dehydrated bitch

[artsy-rc]

some chubby chus

[spongebobfreezeframes]

[tchaikovskaya]

me turning in a research paper that i wrote in one sitting and didnt even proofread at all bc i procrastinated until the last possible second to write it and turn it in

[yekkes]

Women can’t assert boundaries without being made to feel like a bitch and that’s by design to exalt passivity and submission as the only acceptable way to exist in relation to a man

[heavenslittlemachine-deactivate]

i have a court hearing tomorrow abt my eviction wish us luck

[heavenslittlemachine-deactivate]

so the hearing went well & we’re not being evicted!! we do have to come up with a shit ton of money though so if y'all could keep reblogging my donation post that would be amazing.

cash.me/$ruthieghould

venmo.com/ruth-sohmer

[heavenslittlemachine-deactivate]

we got an extension during the hearing but we still have almost $1100 to pay to the apartment, if people could keep donating and reblogging this I would be over the moon!!

like i said in my other post, I can do commissions for art, writing (poetry, short stories, resumes, cover letters etc.), tarot reading, or anything feasible for a negotiable amount

we’ve raised $550/$1,100 as of June 7th, thank you everyone!

[sailorbrazil]

if he gives you this look…

[kant-deactivated20190908]

like, then, Perish, man… 

[kibumkim]

@tariqah

[tariqah]

Kin

[travelingasafamily]

“To The Young Who Want to Die” by Gwendolyn Brooks

Sit down. Inhale. Exhale. The gun will wait. The lake will wait. The tall gall in the small seductive vial will wait will wait: will wait a week: will wait through April. You do not have to die this certain day. Death will abide, will pamper your postponement. I assure you death will wait. Death has a lot of time. Death can attend to you tomorrow. Or next week. Death is just down the street; is most obliging neighbor; can meet you any moment. You need not die today. Stay here–through pout or pain or peskyness. Stay here. See what the news is going to be tomorrow. Graves grow no green that you can use. Remember, green’s your color. You are Spring.

Art: Mequitta Ahuja, “Birthright,” oil on canvas, 84"X80" 2017

http://www.mequittaahuja.com/works-on-canvas-2005-2018.html

Poem: https://chavelaque.blogspot.com/2007/04/to-young-who-want-to-die-by-gwendolyn.html