FIVESTAGE

grief is a five stage response to loss

[jwstudying]

SELF CARE CHEAT SHEET!!

how to treat yourself on a low budget

what to do after a long day

how not to be hard on yourself

staying healthy while studying

need a confidence boost? stand like this

how to deal with mental illness

feel better masterpost

hygiene/beauty masterpost | my make up masterpost | make up masterpost | simple steps for perfect make up | more make up tips | highlighting/contouring

6 ab moves 

hair oil benefits

what is your acne telling you? | another useful post about acne

headaches

masterpost for rough times

the sex ed your parents didn’t give you

head to toe self care

blow job tips | compilation of sex tips 

limits of the human body

when to change your toothbrush, workouts etc

useful hoe tips | more +

love yourself

“how to make love”

shaving your vagina

foods that fix everything

22 less difficult ways to practise self care

self care wheel

superhero workouts | lose 500 calories at home

bad habits and how to break them

stop biting nails

stop procrastinating 

stop skipping breakfast

stretches to improve every aspect of your body

stop cracking knuckles

stop falling asleep late 

list of stress relievers

remove a splinter

smoothie masterpost

morning yoga

hair masterpost

self care masterpost

period hacks | alleviate menstrual cramps

sounds to soothe anxiety | another tip | panic attacks | calming down

things to do when you’re scared, anxious | reduce anxiety

self help for anxiety

what to eat before you run

how to get ahead in life

self care infographic 

study guide for health (basic first aid, healthy hobbies etc)

a+ self care advice | more lovely advice

coping skills

get rid of negative self talk

feeling sad? | not having a good day? | if anyone is sad | feeling anxious for school? | in case you’re having a bad night | unfuck tomorrow morning

study food

health life hacks

what to do with food poisoning

self talk to end obsessions

self care ideas/tips

what to do with you’re bleeding and don’t have a band aid

why you should drink a lot of water

other cheat sheets

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Steps to Letting Go of Painful Memories

Experiences can leave us with some painful memories. They tie us to the past and prevent us moving on. And the only way to freedom is to work on letting go – so these memories don’t haunt us or keep us trapped in pain. Below are some guidelines to help you work on this.

1. Before you can let go, you must face whatever happened and accept that it is part of your past experiences. Suppression doesn’t work as a long-term solution. It can only be a band aid that brings temporary relief. Talk to someone you trust, or write about it in your journal. You need to share what happened, in order to move on.

2. Identify the lessons you have learned from what has happened. There’s always a lesson – so look for what you’ve learned. It doesn’t make it better – but it does lessen its power.

3. Write the lesson down on a piece of paper and repeat it to yourself when you’re hit by old, painful memories. For example, if you’ve been scarred by abuse, then you might write something like: “My experience of abuse does not determine who I am. I’m a stronger person now, and that is not my destiny. I’m choosing my own future, and the person I will be.”

4. Repeat this mantra often so it takes root in your mind. Allow it to be stronger than the bad experience. Say it often, till you mean it, then you’ll start to feel you’re freer. Persevere and keep on fighting when those old memories return.

5. Seek to be a person who’s a peace with themselves. When peace is your focus, old thoughts and memories have much less power over how you think and feel. However, seeking after peace must be a conscious, constant choice.

6. When the past tries to intrude, focus firmly on the present. Ground yourself in what’s happening around you in the room, and try to breathe deeply - and deliberately relax. You are here in this moment; you’re not living in the past.

7. Forgive – for your own sake. Try to heal from what happened – then let resentments go. You don’t want them in your life for they’ll just tie you to the past. It’s not an ease process; it takes work and discipline. But it is worth the daily struggle - as one day you’ll be free.

[myawesomequotes-com]

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart.

José N. Harris  (via myawesomequotes-com)

[walkthroughthiswithme-deactivat]

what i do after a bad nightmare

i’ve developed a bit of a routine post-waking up from super bad dreams, especially ones that that make me unsure if i’m really awake/if things are real (which has been happening more often recently), so i thought i would organize it in one place for myself and share if anyone else could use this. 

one routine might not work well for everyone, but i hope this at least gives you some ideas or a place to start from. <3

turn on the lights. as many as i can. my mind is the worst when i’m scared at night as far as imagining things in the dark and shapes in the shadows. first thing i want to do is turn the lights on and get rid of them.

get a reality check. this helps me convince myself that i am really awake, and my reality is here and solid.

try a simple grounding exercise. i try to sit or stand with my feet firmly on the floor, once i’ve got a reality check and i can be confident there’s nothing under my bed. name three things you can see, three things you can hear, and three things you can feel. if you can, say these things out loud, and maybe even remind yourself out loud “my name is ____. it’s ___ in the morning/at night. i’m in my room/apartment in _____. i am awake. i am real. i am safe.”

again, if you can, do something sensory and soothing like brushing your hair, washing your face, or massaging your feet. i personally find it helps me a lot to slowly & gently brush my hair, only focusing on the sensation. it helps me to get a drink of cold water too.

i like to fill my head with good, happy things either while i stay up until morning (if i’m that scared to go back to sleep) or to try to lull myself asleep again. i happen to have some tags and links up my internet sleeve that do the trick for me:

happy things

cute animals

calming music

little online games to distract yourself (i especially love the nebula generator)

full length studio ghibli movies

i hope some of this helps!!!

[hyperbolees]

When you meet someone who’s experienced loss as you have, there’s an unspoken understanding. Grief and tragedy are blood lines that turn strangers in to kin.

SL (via smashingsourgrapes)

[thehumbledtherapist]

list of self-encouraging coping thoughts

because we all go through tough times, and sometimes we are also alone during these times - we need to encourage ourselves to stay strong. the following coping thoughts may be helpful:

- “This situation won’t last forever.”

- “I’ve already been through many other painful experiences, and I’ve survived.”

- “This too shall pass.”

- “I can be anxious and still deal with the situation.”

- “I can take all the time I need right now to let go and relax.”

- “These are just my feelings, and eventually they’ll go away.”

- “It’s okay to feel sad/anxious/afraid sometimes.”

use as needed. source: McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 1997.

xo

[fivestage-blog]

Over the years in working with people who are grieving, I've encouraged them first of all to surrender to the experience of their pain. To counteract our natural tendency to turn away from pain, we open to it as fully as possible and allow our hearts to break. We must take enough time to remember our losses . . .

Ram Dass

[thequietrabbit]

[mentalillnessmouse]

Resources for coping with mass violence and other tragedies

Tips for Survivors of a Disaster or Other Traumatic Event: Managing Stress

Mental Health Response to Mass Violence and Terrorism: A Field Guide

Coping With Grief After Community Violence

[survivingsiblingsuicide]

The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you’re faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning, the seconds keep ticking.

James Patterson, Angel (Maximum Ride, #7)

[art--felt]

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

[fivestage-blog]

I think about her and she doesn’t feel real. I mean, I know she wasn’t a dream but I have lived so long without her that she used to a hole but somehow I am now whole. I still marvel at how people can abruptly disappear from our lives physically and then mentally (and now distance is coming to take her away emotionally). I think about her now and I can’t muster any tears, can’t muster any emotions other than those of my family, for my family.

Yet I know that I am not completely dead to that mother that was once alive when I had to fill out an application that forced me to enter Parent 2′s email address and in a spat of bitterness and frustration at not being able to remember I wrote “[email protected].”

I think that it isn’t good to keep holding onto feelings but also I can’t help but pick at my scabs and reopen the wound. I mean, isn’t it callous to not at least feel something when thinking about your dead mother? I am conflicted.

create and submit a guest post here to be posted on the blog or write an anonymous “dear steph” letter to [email protected]

[fivestage-blog]

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[fivestage-blog]

why does it say on the club app bcn astronomy club??

ahah I don’t actually know why?? I think it’s because I used one of typeform’s pre-designed forms and they used the bcn astronomy club as an example, but I can’t seem to figure out how to make it say fivestagers club membership application instead of, well, that.

If you’re wondering what anon is talking about, the fivestagers club member application is now open. I mean, everybody that’s following FIVESTAGE is automatically in, but if you want to join the Facebook group and just talk and make some new friends, you just subscribe to the email newsletter here and put in your info here and I’ll send you an invite.

[keffoiza]

[fivestage-blog]

Relearning the world after someone we love has died is not a matter of taking in information or mastering ideas or theories. It is, rather, a matter of learning again how to be and act in the world without those we love by our sides.

Thomas Attig

[storiesfromtheyoung-deactivated]

Friendly reminder for today

Crying dehydrates you so keep a water bottle nearby or make some tea

Put Vaseline on and around your nose if it’s red and raw

Eat something, even if it’s just a little bit of fruit

If you’re a makeup wearer and have cried remember to wash your face

Naps are a good idea if you need to stop thinking about it for awhile