Fix Your Collar, Justin Welby @fixyourcollar-blog - Tumblr Blog

ABC Williams once noted that the Chair of St Augustine doesn't fit one person alone... neither does ABC Welby's collar...

Have I finally gotten your attention, Archbishop Welby? Lower your eyes, open your ears, and tuck in the tab.

No need to mimic my facial reaction, your Grace. Press your tab, and all shall be well.

Does York outpace Canterbury in progressive vestment solutions?

For the sake of the Accord of Winchester, fix your collar.

Studying from books will not help you, your Grace. This is a twofold matter of aesthetics and friction. Do fix your collar.

In this case, your Grace, the collar can wait. Mind your mitre.

Oh, your Grace! Remember the good old days of a layman's shirt? Surely, those were simple and beautiful times.

Your past is behind you. Fix your collar, we pray.

Confused, your Grace? As am I. It's a simple matter: fix your collar.

Welby's dress

is all a mess.

What is there to confess?

Cantuar's hope

a downward slope

in mitre, cap, or cope.

A wailing wall or

wailing collar:

do draw the neckband smaller.

An Open Letter to Archbishop Justin

Your Grace,

I wish to send my most sincere, if overdue, congratulations to you, Archbishop Justin, on your election to the Primate of All England and the spiritual head of the Global Anglican Communion. Your story is rather inspiring; from oil man to Archbishop in no time. You surely have your work set out for you. Following in the footsteps of giants, holding an unruly communion together, and the care of some 80 million souls in this troubling age are no small tasks. That being said, there is one matter that must be discussed.

In your tenure as Archbishop of Canterbury, it has come to my attention that your collar is in a perilous state. Whether speaking with the media or performing liturgical tasks, it seems to precariously hang from your neck: perhaps you are metaphorically mirroring the flexibility of Anglican practice or the loose bonds of affection found in the Anglican Communion.

Nevertheless, this is an intervention of love. For the sake of all in the Church of England and in our Communion, we ask that you properly adjust your clericals. This blog will be utterly destroyed with the fulfillment of one of the following two conditions:

(1) you diligently push in your collar and show due progress in this task; (2) you inform us (privately or publicly) of a medical condition that would make carrying out this task an impediment.

We pray for your leadership as well as your clericals.

Our Lady of Walsingham

Press it in ever so slightly, your Grace. Fix your collar.

Nobody disputes that the Cross of Nails makes for powerful, profound pectoral jewelry. But the collar's another story. Please, fix it.

Here, I make an exception: fix your colour.

Ah… being pensive by the window. Many thoughts are swirling in the mind of the Archbishop. You know what’s on my mind? Fix that collar.

Some directions, your Grace: 1) Rotate finger 180°. 2) Draw finger towards neck. 3) Gingerly press collar.

Please fix your collar. (And sack your personal photographer for not noticing.)

How can we reconcile our communions when the Bishop of Rome is so distracted? For the sake of true catholicity, please fix your collar.

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Fix Your Collar, Justin Welby