Fix Yourself For Good

Formally known as "Demolish Fat Acceptance" I am back after a long, long time. I am no longer going to waste my time and energy on Fat Acceptance losers. I am, however, going to focus on myself and taking steps to achieve my goals; using this blog to document my thoughts and process.

[fixyourselfforgood]

What is "PCOS"?

Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome

[fixyourselfforgood]

I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through, but you're an amazing person, and life will get better :)

You are so kind anon 😊. Thank you...stay amazing.

[fixyourselfforgood]

Update Part 2 - My weight

I know, this is long overdue. Adulting is hard guys…

Anyways, this update is probably going to encourage a lot of anon hate but eh…who cares.

Alright…now…about my weight.

In June 2016, I had lost 12 kgs (26 lbs). I was 68 kg, a number I hadn’t seen for 7 years. I was incredibly happy! I was finally out of the fucking 70s. All I needed to do was get out of the 60s and I’d be so close to my goal weight (53 kg).

Notice how I am talking in the past tense?

6 months later, my weight was 83 kg (182 lbs).

Yup.

So when I became homeless, I was 83 kg and my life had officially fallen apart.

I actually didn’t know I was going to be homeless until about 3 weeks before I moved out. I just looked at my parents and said…’We can’t do this…we can’t pay rent…it’s not working out’. 

But in those 6 months, I was working my ASS OFF. I slept very little, worked all day without moving until I got aches and pains but I was so confident that I could turn our business around. And how did I deal with the stress? I ate. And ate. And ate. Rinse and repeat.

I knew what I was doing. I would eat so much that I’d feel sick by the end of the day. But if I didn’t eat, I’d worry. And if I got worried, I’d lose control. I just told myself…’Oh just this month…I just need to get through this..I’ll get back to eating normally and working out after this month’. But that ‘just one’ month became 6 months and I was fucked by the end of it. 

So obviously, eating a lot and not keeping up with exercise makes you gain weight. It doesn’t happen magically. My body didn’t go back to it’s set weight or some shit. I just stuffed my fucking face until I felt like throwing up.

Once I found a place to live and got over the initial shock of everything…I stopped stuffing my face. I don’t have the emotional strength to do a full cardio or weight session. Listen, things are really hard and I just can’t….right now. 

But I couldn’t look at my fat fucking body anymore so I decided to not eat like I am deranged and go on daily walks at the nearby park. I’ve been doing this since Nov 1. I wake up at 6 in the morning, I take 15 minutes to gather my stuff and I am on my way. I walk for an hour or so…until I hit 10,000 steps. On my walks, I listened to the Hamilton soundtrack like 5 times, a couple of audiobooks and now, Marc Maron’s WTF podcast. It is relaxing, it is nice to be surrounded by nature and I don’t feel like shit while I am doing it. The park is built on a hill and there are a lot of steep slopes so I do break a sweat. By doing this, I average about 15,000 steps per day. Some days I go as high as 23,000 steps..usually when I have to run errands. I have lost 5 kgs since. So now my weight is 78 kg (171 lbs). 

I am not eating as well as I want to. I mean, I crave sweet things because I still stressed about my life. I won’t lie to you. I give in to them. I am surrounded by supermarkets and 7/11s so it is very easy for me to get the stuff I crave. But I skip meals afterwards so I don’t go over my recommended calorie intake. I do not recommend this. Eat actual food people…that muffin has no nutritional value. I am getting better though….it’s just a little tough right now. 

[fixyourselfforgood]

It's really hard not to hate my body while losing weight. I already lost 25 pounds, which is great, but I gotta another 45 pounds to lose to reach my goal weight... I just feel really fat and gross. Ugh.

You need to fight that feeling! Do not allow yourself to become jaded with the weight loss process. Try and quantify how much you have lost and let that be your motivation. 25 lbs is a two yr old....you lost an entire small person!!! You can do this!

[fixyourselfforgood]

The thing I love most about losing weight is that I'm more comfortable being naked. When I was broderline obese I didn't like to be naked even to wash because it made me feel like shit but now I'm more confident in my appearance. It makes me happy🤗

Thats so great!! I am happy for you sweetie 😀

[fixyourselfforgood]

Hey! I've been a follower of yours for a while now! I was 205 pounds and now I weigh 169!! I am only 9 pounds away from my normal weight range, and I still gotta long way to go, but I am super excited!

And I am super excited for you! Well done!

[fixyourselfforgood]

That reverse psychology shit you picked up in a magazine is embarrassing. You're still an ugly bully jacking off to your own superiority. Stay pathetic. ✌️

[fixyourselfforgood]

Lmao don't lie to yourself kid, if you saw a current picture of Amber Rachdi without context you'd start bullying her without a second thought

Look at you, saying all kinds of shit like you know me. You know, I thought I’d come back and just focus on myself and be there for my followers. But now, you’ve reminded me how important it is to be a loud, active voice against fat acceptance. So thank you sweetie. I am going to have a lot of fun from now on. 

[fixyourselfforgood]

Hey! I hope things get better for you!! *huuuugggss* I can't even imagine what it's like, but know that friends are here for you. I'm glad you have somewhere to sleep! and I'm praying you get a Christmas Miracle!

Thank you! I am doing alright actually. I feel really lucky. Most people, when they fall, don’t have anyone to catch them. 

[fixyourselfforgood]

You're a bully and you disguise your bullying in a way to make it seem like you're doing the right thing. You deserve those rough times you're going through and going forward, I hope you go through more rough times. :)

[fixyourselfforgood]

I don't care about possible health problems I'll have. I'm fat and I love it. I also love myself and have plenty of people who love me to. :)

......okay? 

[fixyourselfforgood]

Oh my god I am so sorry to hear that, please hang in there it will get better, just keep going ♥

Thank you :)

[fixyourselfforgood]

Update on my life Part 1

Hello everyone! I missed ALL OF YOU so damn much!

Now that I am back, I feel like I should get you all up to speed on what is happening in my life. 

I am homeless (technically)

Yup. Never expected this to happen to me in a million years. I think I’ve written posts about how my life is in real turmoil and how I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. Well, a lot of bad things happened. There was a brief period where I thought I was doing all the right things and making strides but clearly, it wasn’t enough and soon I was really struggling to stay afloat. 

We were homeowners our whole lives. Since the day my parents got married, they were homeowners. We were even landlords at one point. Never had to worry about a roof over our heads. EVER. Looking back, I had it pretty good growing up. Travelled a lot, studied abroad, cars, cool electronics…all of it. And then shit hit the fan and we became renters. And now, homeless. 

This is the 2nd time we lost everything. Well, the first time we lost everything except the house and now, that’s gone too. There are a lot of reasons why we are where we are but I don’t want to get into it. I just want to focus on getting things back on track. 

No, I am not out on the streets. I am staying with incredible kind people who have given me refuge. If it weren’t for them (they are not even family btw), I would literally be on the streets with my family. I am also estranged from my entire extended family, which feels strange because just 2 years ago, we celebrated the holidays together and had many family dinners, like we’ve had all my life. Well, you know what they say; ‘When you laugh, the world laughs with you. When you weep, you weep alone.’

Lookout for Part 2!!

[fixyourselfforgood]

hi, do you know any blogs similar to yours? I'm having trouble finding blogs that are anti fat acceptance but aren't just mean spirited toward fat people. thanks!

If you have time, scroll through the posts on my blog. I have listed other like-minded blogs somewhere in there. 

[fixyourselfforgood]

I want to thank you. i messaged you around this time last year, being around 270+ and being miserable in my body, but wanting to change, but I was worried about all the FA morons saying I was never going to be able to get any progress. You encouraged me. as I type this, I'm somewhere in the range of 217 (Which is a normal weight to be when you're 7' tall) and simply looking to adjust my Body fat percentage from 16 and change to 12. I've heard some BS. I'd love to hear your encouragement again.

I am so so happy for you! You proved them all wrong :D. 

[fixyourselfforgood]

What is this "diet industry" FA loves banging on about?!

Well they are referring to all the bullshit pills, shakes, meal replacements and detox things that claim to help people lose weight. The thing about all these things is that once you are off them, you will gain all the weight back when you resume eating normally. 

Anyways, FA likes to bring this up as proof that weight loss cannot be sustained. But what they fail to acknowledge is that the rest of the rational world have already acknowledged and condemned all of those things. For weight loss to be successful, the method of attaining the weight loss must be sustainable. No one can live on shakes and pills, hence those things are not sustainable in the long term. The ONLY sustainable way is to exercise and create a calorie deficit which will force a person to pay attention to the type and quantity of food they eat, creating good eating habits. That way, once they lose all the excess weight, they just need to keep up the steady exercise and eat within their recommended calorie intake. FA conveniently ignores this. 

[fixyourselfforgood]

You have a lot of supporters, Demolisher 💪❤ very very very pleased to have you back!

Thank you!